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How to Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie, (II)Fundamental Techniques In Handling People Part One (2)

(II)Fundamental Techniques In Handling People Part One (2)

3 - "He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way" I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer.

Personally I am

very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms.

So when I went fishing, I didn't think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?" Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?

That is what Lloyd George, Great Britain's Prime Minister during World War I, did. When someone asked him how he managed to stay in power after the other wartime leaders - Wilson, Orlando and Clemenceau - had been forgotten, he replied that if his staying on top might be attributed to any one thing, it would be to his having learned that it was necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish .

Why talk about what we want?

That is childish. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want.

You are eternally interested in it.

But no one else is. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.

So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something.

If, for example, you don't want your children to smoke, don't preach at them, and don't talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash. This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children or calves or chimpanzees.

For example: one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into the barn.

But they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted: Emerson pushed and his son pulled.

But the calf was doing just what they were doing; he was thinking only of what he wanted; so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture.

The Irish housemaid saw their predicament. She couldn't write essays and books; but, on this occasion at least, she had more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had. She thought of what the calf wanted; so she put her maternal finger in the calf's mouth and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn. Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something.

How about the time you gave a large contribution to the Red Cross?

Yes, that is no exception to the rule.

You gave the Red Cross the donation because you wanted to lend a helping hand; you wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act.

" Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. " If you hadn't wanted that feeling more than you wanted your money, you would not have made the contribution. Of course, you might have made the contribution because you were ashamed to refuse or because a customer asked you to do it.

But one thing is certain. You made the contribution because you wanted something.

Harry A, Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said; "Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire ... and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want.

He who can do this has the whole world with him.

He who cannot walks a lonely way." Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants.

He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people.

To illustrate: His sister-in-law was worried sick over her two boys.

They were at Yale, and they were so busy with their own affairs that they neglected to write home and paid no attention whatever to their mother's frantic letters. Then Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he could get an answer by return mail, without even asking for it.

Someone called his bet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually in a post-script that he was sending each one a five-dollar bill.

He neglected, however, to enclose the money.

Back came replies by return mail thanking "Dear Uncle Andrew" for his kind note and-you can finish the sentence yourself. Another example of persuading comes from Stan Novak of Cleveland,

Ohio, a participant in our course.

Stan came home from work one evening to find his youngest son, Tim, kicking and screaming on the living room floor.

He was to start kindergarten the next day and was protesting that he would not go.

Stan's normal reaction would have been to banish the child to his room and tell him he'd just better make up his mind to go. He had no choice. But tonight, recognizing that this would not really help Tim start kindergarten in the best frame of mind, Stan sat down and thought, "If I were Tim, why would I be excited about going to kindergarten? " He and his wife made a list of all the fun things Tim would do such as finger painting, singing songs, making new friends. Then they put them into action.

"We all started finger-painting on the kitchen table-my wife, Lil, my other son Bob, and myself, all having fun. Soon Tim was peeping around the corner.

Next he was begging to participate. 'Oh, no! You have to go to kindergarten first to learn how to finger-paint.

' With all the enthusiasm I could muster I went through the list talking in terms he could understand-telling him all the fun he would have in kindergarten. The next morning, I thought I was the first one up. I went downstairs and found Tim sitting sound asleep in the living room chair.

'What are you doing here? ' I asked. 'I'm waiting to go to kindergarten. I don't want to be late. ' The enthusiasm of our entire family had aroused in Tim an eager want that no amount of discussion or threat could have possibly accomplished." Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something.

Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?" That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires.

At one time I rented the grand ballroom of a certain New York hotel for twenty nights in each season in order to hold a series of lectures.

At the beginning of one season, I was suddenly informed that I should have to pay almost three times as much rent as formerly.

This news reached me after the tickets had been printed and distributed and all announcements had been made.

Naturally, I didn't want to pay the increase, but what was the use of talking to the hotel about what I wanted? They were interested only in what they wanted.

So a couple of days later I went to see the manager.

"I was a bit shocked when I got your letter," I said, "but I don't blame you at all. If I had been in your position, I should probably have written a similar letter myself.

Your duty as the manager of the hotel is to make all the profit possible.

If you don't do that, you will be fired and you ought to be fired. Now, let's take a piece of paper and write down the advantages and the disadvantages that will accrue to you, if you insist on this increase in rent." Then I took a letterhead and ran a line through the center and headed one column "Advantages" and the other column "Disadvantages." I wrote down under the head "Advantages" these words: "Ballroom free. " Then I went on to say: "You will have the advantage of having the ballroom free to rent for dances and conventions. That is a big advantage, for affairs like that will pay you much more than you can get for a series of lectures.

If I tie your ballroom up for twenty nights during the course of the season, it is sure to mean a loss of some very profitable business to you.

"Now, let's 'consider the disadvantages. First, instead of increasing your income from me, you are going to decrease it.

In fact, you are going to wipe it out because I cannot pay the rent you are asking.

I shall be forced to hold these lectures at some other place.

"There's another disadvantage to you also. These lectures attract crowds of educated and cultured people to your hotel.

That is good advertising for you, isn't it? In fact, if you spent five thousand dollars advertising in the newspapers, you couldn't bring as many people to look at your hotel as I can bring by these lectures. That is worth a lot to a hotel, isn't it?" As I talked, I wrote these two "disadvantages" under the proper heading, and handed the sheet of paper to the manager, saying: "I wish you would carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages that are going to accrue to you and then give me your final decision." I received a letter the next day, informing me that my rent would be increased only 50 percent instead of 300 percent.

Mind you, I got this reduction without saying a word about what I wanted.

I talked all the time about what the other person wanted and how he could get it.

Suppose I had done the human, natural thing; suppose I had stormed into his office and said, "What do you mean by raising my rent three hundred percent when you know the tickets have been printed and the announcements made? Three hundred percent!

Ridiculous!

Absurd! I won't pay it! " What would have happened then?

An argument would have begun to steam and boil and sputter - and you know how arguments end.

Even if I had convinced him that he was wrong, his pride would have made it difficult for him to back down and give in.

Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships.

"If there is any one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." That is so good, I want to repeat it: "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own. " That is so simple, so obvious, that anyone ought to see the truth of it at a glance; yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90 percent of the time.

An example?

Look at the letters that come across your desk tomorrow morning, and you will find that most of them violate this important canon of common sense.

Take this one, a letter written by the head of the radio department of an advertising agency with offices scattered across the continent.

This letter was sent to the managers of local radio stations throughout the country.

(I have set down, in brackets, my reactions to each paragraph. )

Mr. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana Dear Mr. Blank: The ------ company desires to retain its position in advertising agency leadership in the radio field.

[Who cares what your company desires?

I am worried about my own problems.

The bank is foreclosing the mortage on my house, the bugs are destroying the hollyhocks, the stock market tumbled yesterday.

I missed the eight-fifteen this morning, I wasn't invited to the Jones's dance last night, the doctor tells me I have high blood pressure and neuritis and dandruff. And then what happens? I come down to the office this morning worried, open my mail and here is some little whippersnapper off in New York yapping about what his company wants.

Bah! If he only realized what sort of impression his letter makes, he would get out of the advertising business and start manufacturing sheep dip.

This agency's national advertising accounts were the bulwark of the network. Our subsequent clearances of station time have kept us at the top of agencies year after year.

[You are big and rich and right at the top, are you?

So what? I don't give two whoops in Hades if you are as big as General Motors and General Electric and the General Staff of the U.S.

Army all combined.

If you had as much sense as a half-witted hummingbird, you would realize that I am interested in how big I am - not how big you are.

All this talk about your enormous success makes me feel small and unimportant.

We desire to service our accounts with the last word on radio station information.

[You desire!

You desire. You unmitigated ass. I'm not interested in what you desire or what the President of the United States desires. Let me tell you once and for all that I am interested in what I desire - and you haven't said a word about that yet in this absurd letter of yours . Will you, therefore, put the ---------- company on your preferred list for weekly station information - every single detail that will be useful to an agency in intelligently booking time.

["Preferred list. " You have your nerve! You make me feel insignificant by your big talk about your company - nd then you ask me to put you on a "preferred" list, and you don't even say "please" when you ask it. A prompt acknowledgment of this letter, giving us your latest "doings," will be mutually helpful. [You fool!

You mail me a cheap form letter - a letter scattered far and wide like the autumn leaves - and you have the gall to ask me, when I am worried about the mortgage and the hollyhocks and my blood pressure, to sit down and dictate a personal note acknowledging your form letter - and you ask me to do it "promptly." What do you mean, "promptly". Don't you know I am just as busy as you are - or, at least, I like to think I am. And while we are on the subject, who gave you the lordly right to order me around?

... You say it will be "mutually helpful. " At last, at last, you have begun to see my viewpoint. But you are vague about how it will be to my advantage.

Very truly yours, John Doe Manager Radio Department

P.S.

The enclosed reprint from the Blankville Journal will be of interest to you, and you may want to broadcast it over your station.

[Finally, down here in the postscript, you mention something that may help me solve one of my problems.

Why didn't you begin your letter with - but what's the use? Any advertising man who is guilty of perpetrating such drivel as you have sent me has something wrong with his medulla oblongata.

You don't need a letter giving our latest doings. What you need is a quart of iodine in your thyroid gland. ]

Now, if people who devote their lives to advertising and who pose as experts in the art of influencing people to buy - if they write a letter like that, what can we expect from the butcher and baker or the auto mechanic?

Here is another letter, written by the superintendent of a large freight terminal to a student of this course, Edward Vermylen.

What effect did this letter have on the man to whom it was addressed?

Read it and then I'll tell you. A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Brooklyn, N.Y.

11201 Attention:

Mr. Edward Vermylen Gentlemen:

The operations at our outbound-rail-receiving station are handicapped because a material percentage of the total business is delivered us in the late afternoon.

This condition results in congestion, overtime on the part of our forces, delays to trucks, and in some cases delays to freight.

On November 10, we received from your company a lot of 510 pieces, which reached here at 4:20 P.M.

We solicit your cooperation toward overcoming the undesirable effects arising from late receipt of freight.

May we ask that, on days on which you ship the volume which was received on the above date, effort be made either to get the truck here earlier or to deliver us part of the freight during the morning?

The advantage that would accrue to you under such an arrangement

would be that of more expeditious discharge of your trucks and the

assurance that your business would go forward on the date of its

receipt.

Very truly yours, J----- B ----- Supt.

After reading this letter, Mr. Vermylen, sales manager for A. Zerega's Sons, Inc., sent it to me with the following comment:

This letter had the reverse effect from that which was intended.

The

letter begins by describing the Terminal's difficulties, in which we are not interested, generally speaking.

Our cooperation is then requested

without any thought as to whether it would inconvenience us, and

then, finally, in the last paragraph, the fact is mentioned that if we

do cooperate it will mean more expeditious discharge of our trucks

with the assurance that our freight will go forward on the date of its

receipt.

In other words, that in which we are most interested is mentioned

last and the whole effect is one of raising a spirit of antagonism

rather than of cooperation.

Let's see if we can't rewrite and improve this letter. Let's not waste any time talking about our problems.

As Henry Ford admonishes,

let's "get the other person's point of view and see things from his or her angle, as well as from our own. " Here is one way of revising the letter.

It may not be the best way,

but isn't it an improvement? Mr.

Edward Vermylen % A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Brooklyn, N.Y.

11201

Dear Mr. Vermylen:

Your company has been one of our good customers for fourteen

years.

Naturally, we are very grateful for your patronage and are

eager to give you the speedy, efficient service you deserve.

However, we regret to say that it isn't possible for us to do that when your trucks bring us a large shipment late in the afternoon, as

they did on November 10.

Why? Because many other customers

make late afternoon deliveries also.

Naturally, that causes

congestion.

That means your trucks are held up unavoidably at the

pier and sometimes even your freight is delayed.

That's bad, but it can be avoided. If you make your deliveries at the

pier in the morning when possible, your trucks will be able to keep

moving, your freight will get immediate attention, and our workers

will get home early at night to enjoy a dinner of the delicious

macaroni and noodles that you manufacture.

Regardless of when your shipments arrive, we shall always cheerfully

do all in our power to serve you promptly.

You are busy. Please don't trouble to answer this note.

Yours truly, J----- B-----, supt.

Barbara Anderson, who worked in a bank in New York, desired to

move to Phoenix, Arizona, because of the health of her son.

Using

the principles she had learned in our course, she wrote the following

letter to twelve banks in Phoenix:

Dear Sir:

My ten years of bank experience should be of interest to a rapidly

growing bank like yours.

In various capacities in bank operations with the Bankers Trust

Company in New York, leading to my present assignment as Branch

Manager, I have acquired skills in all phases of banking including

depositor relations, credits, loans and administration.

I will be relocating to Phoenix in May and I am sure I can contribute

to your growth and profit.

I will be in Phoenix the week of April 3

and would appreciate the opportunity to show you how I can help

your bank meet its goals.

Sincerely, Barbara L. Anderson

Do you think Mrs. Anderson received any response from that letter?

Eleven of the twelve banks invited her to be interviewed, and she

had a choice of which bank's offer to accept. Why? Mrs. Anderson

did not state what she wanted, but wrote in the letter how she could

help them, and focused on their wants, not her own.

Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired,

discouraged and underpaid.

Why? Because they are always thinking

only of what they want.

They don't realize that neither you nor I want to buy anything.

If we did, we would go out and buy it. But

both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems.

And if

salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help

us solve our problems, they won't need to sell us. We'll buy. And

customers like to feel that they are buying - not being sold.

Yet many salespeople spend a lifetime in selling without seeing

things from the customer's angle. For example, for many years I

lived in Forest Hills, a little community of private homes in the center

of Greater New York.

One day as I was rushing to the station, I

chanced to meet a real-estate operator who had bought and sold

property in that area for many years.

He knew Forest Hills well, so I

hurriedly asked him whether or not my stucco house was built with

metal lath or hollow tile.

He said he didn't know and told me what I already knew - that I could find out by calling the Forest Hills Garden

Association.

The following morning, I received a letter from him. Did

he give me the information I wanted?

He could have gotten it in

sixty seconds by a telephone call.

But he didn't. He told me again

that I could get it by telephoning, and then asked me to let him

handle my insurance.

He was not interested in helping me.

He was interested only in

helping himself.

J.

Howard Lucas of Birmingham, Alabama, tells how two salespeople

from the same company handled the same type of situation, He

reported:

"Several years ago I was on the management team of a small company.

Headquartered near us was the district office of a large

insurance company.

Their agents were assigned territories, and our

company was assigned to two agents, whom I shall refer to as Carl

and John.

"One morning, Carl dropped by our office and casually mentioned that his company had just introduced a new life insurance policy for

executives and thought we might be interested later on and he

would get back to us when he had more information on it.

"The same day, John saw us on the sidewalk while returning from a coffee break, and he shouted: 'Hey Luke, hold up, I have some great news for you fellows.

' He hurried over and very excitedly told us about an executive life insurance policy his company had introduced

that very day.

(It was the same policy that Carl had casually

mentioned.

) He wanted us to have one of the first issued. He gave

us a few important facts about the coverage and ended saying, 'The policy is so new, I'm going to have someone from the home office come out tomorrow and explain it.

Now, in the meantime, let's get the applications signed and on the way so he can have more

information to work with.

' His enthusiasm aroused in us an eager want for this policy even though we still did not have details, When

they were made available to us, they confirmed John's initial understanding of the policy, and he not only sold each of us a policy,

but later doubled our coverage.

"Carl could have had those sales, but he made no effort to arouse in us any desire for the policies. " The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking.

So the

rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous

advantage.

He has little competition. Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer

and one of America's great business leaders, once said: "People who can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand

the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future

has in store for them. " If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased

tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this

book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your

career.

Looking at the other person's point of view and arousing in him an eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating

that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit

and his detriment.

Each party should gain from the negotiation. In

the letters to Mr. Vermylen, both the sender and the receiver of the

correspondence gained by implementing what was suggested.

Both

the bank and Mrs. Anderson won by her letter in that the bank

obtained a valuable employee and Mrs. Anderson a suitable job.

And

in the example of John's sale of insurance to Mr. Lucas, both gained through this transaction.

Another example in which everybody gains through this principle of

arousing an eager want comes from Michael E. Whidden of Warwick,

Rhode Island, who is a territory salesman for the Shell Oil Company.

Mike wanted to become the Number One salesperson in his district,

but one service station was holding him back.

It was run by an older

man who could not be motivated to clean up his station.

It was in

such poor shape that sales were declining significantly.

This manager would not listen to any of Mike's pleas to upgrade the station.

After many exhortations and heart-to-heart talks - all of

which had no impact - Mike decided to invite the manager to visit the

newest Shell station in his territory.

The manager was so impressed by the facilities at the new station

that when Mike visited him the next time, his station was cleaned up

and had recorded a sales increase.

This enabled Mike to reach the

Number One spot in his district.

All his talking and discussion hadn't helped, but by arousing an eager want in the manager, by showing

him the modern station, he had accomplished his goal, and both the

manager and Mike benefited.

Most people go through college and learn to read Virgil and master

the mysteries of calculus without ever discovering how their own

minds function.

For instance: I once gave a course in Effective

Speaking for the young college graduates who were entering the

employ of the Carrier Corporation, the large air-conditioner

manufacturer.

One of the participants wanted to persuade the others

to play basketball in their free time, and this is about what he said:

"I want you to come out and play basketball. I like to play basketball,

but the last few times I've been to the gymnasium there haven't been enough people to get up a game.

Two or three of us got to

throwing the ball around the other night - and I got a black eye.

I wish all of you would come down tomorrow night.

I want to play basketball. " Did he talk about anything you want?

You don't want to go to a gymnasium that no one else goes to, do you?

You don't care about what he wants.

You don't want to get a black eye. Could he have shown you how to get the things you want by using

the gymnasium?

Surely. More pep. Keener edge to the appetite.

Clearer brain.

Fun. Games. Basketball.

To repeat Professor Overstreet's wise advice: First, arouse in the other person an eager want He who can do this has the whole world

with him.

He who cannot walks a lonely way.

One of the students in the author's training course was worried about his little boy.

The child was underweight and refused to eat

properly.

His parents used the usual method. They scolded and

nagged.

"Mother wants you to eat this and that. " "Father wants you to grow up to be a big man. " Did the boy pay any attention to these pleas?

Just about as much as

you pay to one fleck of sand on a sandy beach.

No one with a trace of horse sense would expect a child three years

old to react to the viewpoint of a father thirty years old.

Yet that was

precisely what that father had expected.

It was absurd. He finally

saw that.

So he said to himself: "What does that boy want? How can

I tie up what I want to what he wants? " It was easy for the father when he starting thinking about it.

His boy

had a tricycle that he loved to ride up and down the sidewalk in front

of the house in Brooklyn.

A few doors down the street lived a bully -

a bigger boy who would pull the little boy off his tricycle and ride it

himself.

Naturally, the little boy would run screaming to his mother, and she

would have to come out and take the bully off the tricycle and put

her little boy on again, This happened almost every day.

What did the little boy want?

It didn't take a Sherlock Holmes to answer that one.

His pride, his anger, his desire for a feeling of

importance - all the strongest emotions in his makeup - goaded him

to get revenge, to smash the bully in the nose.

And when his father

explained that the boy would be able to wallop the daylights out of

the bigger kid someday if he would only eat the things his mother

wanted him to eat - when his father promised him that - there was

no longer any problem of dietetics.

That boy would have eaten

spinach, sauerkraut, salt mackerel - anything in order to be big

enough to whip the bully who had humiliated him so often.

After solving that problem, the parents tackled another: the little boy

had the unholy habit of wetting his bed.

He slept with his grandmother.

In the morning, his grandmother

would wake up and feel the sheet and say: "Look, Johnny, what you did again last night. " He would say: "No, I didn't do it. You did it. " Scolding, spanking, shaming him, reiterating that the parents didn't want him to do it - none of these things kept the bed dry.

So the

parents asked: "How can we make this boy want to stop wetting his bed? " What were his wants?

First, he wanted to wear pajamas like Daddy

instead of wearing a nightgown like Grandmother.

Grandmother was

getting fed up with his nocturnal iniquities, so she gladly offered to

buy him a pair of pajamas if he would reform.

Second, he wanted a

bed of his own.

Grandma didn't object. His mother took him to a department store in Brooklyn, winked at

the salesgirl, and said: "Here is a little gentleman who would like to do some shopping. " The salesgirl made him feel important by saying: "Young man, what can I show you? " He stood a couple of inches taller and said: "I want to buy a bed for myself." When he was shown the one his mother wanted him to buy, she

winked at the salesgirl and the boy was persuaded to buy it.

The bed was delivered the next day; and that night, when Father came home, the little boy ran to the door shouting: "Daddy! Daddy!

Come upstairs and see my bed that I bought!" The father, looking at the bed, obeyed Charles Schwab's injunction: he was "hearty in his approbation and lavish in his praise." "You are not going to wet this bed, are you? " the father said. " Oh, no, no!

I am not going to wet this bed. " The boy kept his promise, for his pride was involved.

That was his bed. He and he alone had bought it.

And he was wearing pajamas now like a little man. He wanted to act like a man.

And he did.

Another father, K.T.

Dutschmann, a telephone engineer, a student of this course, couldn't get his three-year old daughter to eat breakfast food. The usual scolding, pleading, coaxing methods had all ended in futility.

So the parents asked themselves: "How can we make her want to do it?" The little girl loved to imitate her mother, to feel big and grown up; so one morning they put her on a chair and let her make the breakfast food.

At just the psychological moment, Father drifted into the kitchen while she was stirring the cereal and she said: "Oh, look, Daddy, I am making the cereal this morning." She ate two helpings of the cereal without any coaxing, because she was interested in it.

She had achieved a feeling of importance; she had found in making the cereal an avenue of self-expression.

William Winter once remarked that "self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature. " Why can't we adapt this same psychology to business dealings? When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them

cook and stir the idea themselves.

They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it.

Remember: "First, arouse in the other person an eager want. He who can do this has the whole world with him.

He who cannot walks a lonely way." · Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person an eager want.

In a Nutshell Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

· Principle 1 Don't criticize, condemn or complain. · Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation.

· Principle 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want.


(II)Fundamental Techniques In Handling People Part One (2) (II)Grundlegende Techniken im Umgang mit Menschen Teil eins (2) (II)Fundamental Techniques In Handling People Part One (2) (II)Técnicas fundamentales en el trato con las personas Primera parte (2) (II)人を扱う上での基本的なテクニック パート1 (2) (II)사람을 대하는 기본 기법 1부 (2) (II)Técnicas fundamentais para lidar com pessoas - Primeira parte (2) (II)Фундаментальные техники работы с людьми Часть первая (2) (II) İnsanlarla Başa Çıkmada Temel Teknikler Birinci Bölüm (2) (二)为人处事的基本技巧上(二)

3 - "He Who Can Do This Has The Whole World With Him. 3 - "Wer das kann, hat die ganze Welt bei sich. 3 - “Aquele que pode fazer isto tem o mundo inteiro consigo. He Who Cannot Walks A Lonely Way" Er, der keinen einsamen Weg gehen kann“ Aquele que não pode andar por um caminho solitário " I often went fishing up in Maine during the summer. Im Sommer war ich oft zum Angeln in Maine. Je suis souvent allé pêcher dans le Maine pendant l'été. Eu costumava pescar no Maine durante o verão.

Personally I am Ich persönlich bin Pessoalmente eu sou

very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. sehr gern Erdbeeren und Sahne, aber ich habe festgestellt, dass Fische aus irgendeinem seltsamen Grund Würmer bevorzugen. gosta muito de morangos com creme, mas descobri que, por algum motivo estranho, os peixes preferem minhocas.

So when I went fishing, I didn't think about what I wanted. Então, quando fui pescar, não pensei no que queria. I thought about what they wanted. Eu pensei sobre o que eles queriam. I didn't bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Ich habe den Haken nicht mit Erdbeeren und Sahne geködert. Não isquei o anzol com morangos e creme. Rather, I dangled a worm or a grasshopper in front of the fish and said: "Wouldn't you like to have that?" Vielmehr ließ ich einen Wurm oder eine Heuschrecke vor dem Fisch baumeln und sagte: "Hättest du das nicht gerne?" Au lieu de cela, j'ai balancé un ver ou une sauterelle devant le poisson et lui ai dit: "Tu n'aimerais pas l'avoir?" Em vez disso, balancei um verme ou um gafanhoto na frente do peixe e disse: "Você não gostaria de ter isso?" Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people? Porque não usar o mesmo senso comum quando se pesca pessoas?

That is what Lloyd George, Great Britain's Prime Minister during World War I, did. Foi o que fez Lloyd George, primeiro-ministro da Grã-Bretanha durante a Primeira Guerra Mundial. When someone asked him how he managed to stay in power after the other wartime leaders - Wilson, Orlando and Clemenceau - had been forgotten, he replied that if his staying on top might be attributed to any one thing, it would be to his having learned that it was necessary to bait the hook to suit the fish . Als ihn jemand fragte, wie er es geschafft habe, an der Macht zu bleiben, nachdem die anderen Kriegsführer – Wilson, Orlando und Clemenceau – vergessen worden waren, antwortete er, wenn sein Bleiben an der Spitze irgendetwas zugeschrieben werden könne, dann sei es, dass er gelernt habe dass es notwendig war, den Haken zu ködern, um dem Fisch zu entsprechen. Quand on lui a demandé comment il avait réussi à rester au pouvoir après l’oubli des autres chefs de guerre - Wilson, Orlando et Clemenceau -, il a répondu que si son maintien pouvait être attribué à quelque chose, c’était à lui d’avoir appris qu'il était nécessaire d'amorcer l'hameçon pour convenir au poisson. Quando alguém lhe perguntou como ele conseguiu permanecer no poder depois que os outros líderes do tempo de guerra - Wilson, Orlando e Clemenceau - foram esquecidos, ele respondeu que se sua permanência no topo pudesse ser atribuída a alguma coisa, seria por ter aprendido que era necessário iscar o anzol para servir aos peixes.

Why talk about what we want? Warum über das reden, was wir wollen? Pourquoi parler de ce que nous voulons? Por que falar sobre o que queremos?

That is childish. Isso é infantil. Absurd. Of course, you are interested in what you want. É claro que está interessado no que quer.

You are eternally interested in it. Você está eternamente interessado nisso.

But no one else is. Mas ninguém mais está. The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want. O resto de nós é como você: estamos interessados no que queremos.

So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. La seule façon pour la Terre d'influencer les autres est de parler de ce qu'ils veulent et de leur montrer comment l'obtenir. Portanto, a única maneira de influenciar outras pessoas é falar sobre o que elas querem e mostrar-lhes como conseguir.

Remember that tomorrow when you are trying to get somebody to do something. Denken Sie daran, wenn Sie morgen versuchen, jemanden dazu zu bringen, etwas zu tun. N'oubliez pas que demain, lorsque vous essayez d'amener quelqu'un à faire quelque chose. Lembre-se disso amanhã, quando estiver tentando convencer alguém a fazer algo.

If, for example, you don't want your children to smoke, don't preach at them, and don't talk about what you want; but show them that cigarettes may keep them from making the basketball team or winning the hundred-yard dash. Si, par exemple, vous ne voulez pas que vos enfants fument, ne leur prêchez pas et ne parlez pas de ce que vous voulez; mais montrez-leur que les cigarettes peuvent les empêcher de faire partie de l'équipe de basket-ball ou de gagner le tableau de bord. Se, por exemplo, você não quer que seus filhos fumem, não pregue para eles e não fale sobre o que deseja; mas mostre-lhes que os cigarros podem impedi-los de entrar no time de basquete ou de vencer na corrida de cem metros. This is a good thing to remember regardless of whether you are dealing with children or calves or chimpanzees. Dies ist eine gute Sache, die Sie sich merken sollten, unabhängig davon, ob Sie es mit Kindern, Kälbern oder Schimpansen zu tun haben. C'est une bonne chose à retenir, que vous ayez affaire à des enfants, à des veaux ou à des chimpanzés. É bom lembrar disso, independentemente de estar lidando com crianças, bezerros ou chimpanzés.

For example: one day Ralph Waldo Emerson and his son tried to get a calf into the barn. Ein Beispiel: Eines Tages versuchten Ralph Waldo Emerson und sein Sohn, ein Kalb in den Stall zu bringen. Por exemplo: um dia, Ralph Waldo Emerson e o seu filho tentaram levar um bezerro para o celeiro.

But they made the common mistake of thinking only of what they wanted: Emerson pushed and his son pulled. Mais ils ont commis l'erreur commune de ne penser qu'à ce qu'ils voulaient: Emerson a poussé et son fils a tiré. Mas eles cometeram o erro comum de pensar apenas no que queriam: Emerson empurrou e seu filho puxou.

But the calf was doing just what they were doing; he was thinking only of what he wanted; so he stiffened his legs and stubbornly refused to leave the pasture. Mas o bezerro estava a fazer exatamente o que eles estavam a fazer; só pensava no que queria; por isso enrijeceu as pernas e recusou-se teimosamente a sair do pasto.

The Irish housemaid saw their predicament. La femme de ménage irlandaise a vu leur situation. A empregada doméstica irlandesa viu sua situação. She couldn't write essays and books; but, on this occasion at least, she had more horse sense, or calf sense, than Emerson had. Ela não conseguia escrever ensaios e livros; mas, pelo menos nesta ocasião, ela tinha mais senso de cavalo, ou de bezerro, do que Emerson. She thought of what the calf wanted; so she put her maternal finger in the calf's mouth and let the calf suck her finger as she gently led him into the barn. Ela pensou no que o bezerro queria; então ela colocou seu dedo materno na boca do bezerro e deixou que ele chupasse seu dedo enquanto o conduzia gentilmente para o celeiro. Every act you have ever performed since the day you were born was performed because you wanted something. Jede Handlung, die Sie seit dem Tag Ihrer Geburt vollzogen haben, geschah, weil Sie etwas wollten. Tous les actes que tu as accomplis depuis le jour de ta naissance ont été accomplis parce que tu voulais quelque chose. Cada ato que você já realizou desde o dia em que nasceu foi realizado porque você queria algo.

How about the time you gave a large contribution to the Red Cross? Wie war es mit der Zeit, als Sie dem Roten Kreuz einen großen Beitrag geleistet haben? Qu'en est-il du temps où vous avez apporté une contribution importante à la Croix-Rouge? Que tal aquela vez em que você deu uma grande contribuição para a Cruz Vermelha?

Yes, that is no exception to the rule. Ja, das ist keine Ausnahme von der Regel. Sim, isso não é exceção à regra.

You gave the Red Cross the donation because you wanted to lend a helping hand; you wanted to do a beautiful, unselfish, divine act. Você deu a doação à Cruz Vermelha porque queria ajudar; você queria fazer um ato belo, altruísta e divino.

" Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. " „Was ihr einem meiner geringsten Brüder getan habt, das habt ihr mir getan.“ "Dans la mesure où vous l'avez fait à l'un de ces plus petits de mes frères, vous me l'avez fait." "Se você fez isso a um destes meus irmãos, você o fez a mim." If you hadn't wanted that feeling more than you wanted your money, you would not have made the contribution. Wenn Sie dieses Gefühl nicht mehr gewollt hätten als Ihr Geld, hätten Sie den Beitrag nicht geleistet. Si vous n'aviez pas voulu ce sentiment plus que votre argent, vous n'auriez pas apporté la contribution. Se você não quisesse aquele sentimento mais do que seu dinheiro, não teria feito a contribuição. Of course, you might have made the contribution because you were ashamed to refuse or because a customer asked you to do it. Es kann natürlich sein, dass Sie den Beitrag geleistet haben, weil Sie sich schämten, ihn abzulehnen, oder weil ein Kunde Sie darum gebeten hat. Claro, você pode ter feito a contribuição porque teve vergonha de recusar ou porque um cliente lhe pediu para fazê-lo.

But one thing is certain. You made the contribution because you wanted something.

Harry A, Overstreet in his illuminating book Influencing Human Behavior said; "Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire Harry A. Overstreet sagte in seinem aufschlussreichen Buch "Influencing Human Behavior" (Beeinflussung des menschlichen Verhaltens): "Handlungen entstehen aus dem, was wir grundsätzlich wünschen. Harry A, Overstreet em seu livro esclarecedor Influencing Human Behavior disse; "A ação surge daquilo que fundamentalmente desejamos ...      and the best piece of advice which can be given to would-be persuaders, whether in business, in the home, in the school, in politics, is: First, arouse in the other person an eager want. ... und der beste Ratschlag, den man angehenden Überredungskünstlern geben kann, sei es in der Wirtschaft, im Haushalt, in der Schule, in der Politik, ist: Erstens: Wecken Sie in der anderen Person ein eifriges Verlangen. ... et le meilleur conseil que l'on puisse donner aux candidats en matière de persuasion, que ce soit dans les affaires, à la maison, à l'école, en politique, est: D'abord, suscitez un désir pressant chez l'autre personne. ... e o melhor conselho que pode ser dado aos aspirantes a persuasão, seja nos negócios, em casa, na escola, na política, é: Primeiro, desperte na outra pessoa um desejo ardente.

He who can do this has the whole world with him. Wer das kann, hat die ganze Welt bei sich. Aquele que pode fazer isso tem o mundo inteiro com ele.

He who cannot walks a lonely way." Celui qui ne peut pas marcher seul. " Aquele que não pode percorrer um caminho solitário. " Andrew Carnegie, the poverty-stricken Scotch lad who started to work at two cents an hour and finally gave away $365 million, learned early in life that the only way to influence people is to talk in terms of what the other person wants. Andrew Carnegie, der von Armut geplagte Schotte, der mit zwei Cent die Stunde zu arbeiten begann und schließlich 365 Millionen Dollar verschenkte, lernte früh im Leben, dass die einzige Möglichkeit, Menschen zu beeinflussen, darin besteht, über die Wünsche der anderen Person zu sprechen. Andrew Carnegie, o pobre escocês que começou a trabalhar a dois centavos a hora e finalmente doou US $ 365 milhões, aprendeu cedo na vida que a única maneira de influenciar as pessoas é falando em termos do que a outra pessoa deseja.

He attended school only four years; yet he learned how to handle people. Il a fréquenté l'école seulement quatre ans; pourtant il a appris à gérer les gens. Ele frequentou a escola apenas quatro anos; ainda assim, ele aprendeu como lidar com as pessoas.

To illustrate: His sister-in-law was worried sick over her two boys. Zur Veranschaulichung: Seine Schwägerin machte sich große Sorgen um ihre beiden Jungen. Pour illustrer son propos: sa belle-sœur était inquiète pour ses deux garçons. Para ilustrar: sua cunhada estava muito preocupada com seus dois filhos.

They were at Yale, and they were so busy with their own affairs that they neglected to write home and paid no attention whatever to their mother's frantic letters. Sie waren in Yale und so mit ihren eigenen Angelegenheiten beschäftigt, dass sie es versäumten, nach Hause zu schreiben, und den hektischen Briefen ihrer Mutter keinerlei Beachtung schenkten. Eles estavam em Yale e estavam tão ocupados com seus próprios assuntos que se esqueceram de escrever para casa e não prestaram atenção nas cartas frenéticas de sua mãe. Then Carnegie offered to wager a hundred dollars that he could get an answer by return mail, without even asking for it. Dann bot Carnegie an, hundert Dollar darauf zu setzen, dass er per Post eine Antwort erhalten würde, ohne darum zu bitten. Ensuite, Carnegie a offert de parier cent dollars qu'il pourrait obtenir une réponse par la poste, sans même la demander. Então Carnegie se ofereceu para apostar cem dólares para receber uma resposta pelo correio, sem nem mesmo pedir. 然后卡内基提出下注一百美元,使他可以通过回邮得到答案,甚至不需要。

Someone called his bet; so he wrote his nephews a chatty letter, mentioning casually in a post-script that he was sending each one a five-dollar bill. Jemand rief seine Wette an; also schrieb er seinen Neffen einen geschwätzigen Brief und erwähnte beiläufig in einem Nachsatz, dass er jedem von ihnen einen Fünf-Dollar-Schein schicke. Alguém pagou sua aposta; então ele escreveu a seus sobrinhos uma carta tagarela, mencionando casualmente em um post-script que estava enviando a cada um uma nota de cinco dólares.

He neglected, however, to enclose the money. Er versäumte es jedoch, das Geld beizufügen. Ele se esqueceu, porém, de incluir o dinheiro.

Back came replies by return mail thanking "Dear Uncle Andrew" for his kind note and-you can finish the sentence yourself. Zurück kamen Antworten per Post, in denen sich der "Liebe Onkel Andrew" für seine freundliche Notiz bedankte und - Sie können den Satz selbst beenden. Les réponses sont revenues par courrier en remerciant "Cher oncle Andrew" pour son aimable note et-vous pouvez terminer la phrase vous-même. Recebemos respostas por e-mail agradecendo "Querido tio Andrew" por sua amável nota e - você pode terminar a frase sozinho. Another example of persuading comes from Stan Novak of Cleveland, Outro exemplo de persuasão vem de Stan Novak de Cleveland,

Ohio, a participant in our course. Ohio, um participante do nosso curso.

Stan came home from work one evening to find his youngest son, Tim, kicking and screaming on the living room floor. Stan chegou em casa do trabalho uma noite e encontrou seu filho mais novo, Tim, chutando e gritando no chão da sala.

He was to start kindergarten the next day and was protesting that he would not go. Il devait commencer la maternelle le lendemain et protestait contre son intention de ne pas y aller. No dia seguinte, ia entrar para o jardim de infância e protestava para não ir.

Stan's normal reaction would have been to banish the child to his room and tell him he'd just better make up his mind to go. A reação normal de Stan teria sido banir a criança para seu quarto e dizer-lhe que era melhor ele se decidir a ir. He had no choice. Ele não tinha escolha. But tonight, recognizing that this would not really help Tim start kindergarten in the best frame of mind, Stan sat down and thought, "If I were Tim, why would I be excited about going to kindergarten? Mais ce soir, reconnaissant que cela n’aiderait pas vraiment Tim à commencer la maternelle dans le meilleur état d’esprit, Stan s’assit et pensa: «Si j'étais Tim, pourquoi serais-je excité d’aller à la maternelle? Mas esta noite, reconhecendo que isso realmente não ajudaria Tim a começar o jardim de infância no melhor estado de espírito, Stan sentou-se e pensou: "Se eu fosse Tim, por que ficaria animado em ir para o jardim de infância? " He and his wife made a list of all the fun things Tim would do such as finger painting, singing songs, making new friends. Then they put them into action. Dann setzen sie sie in die Tat um. Depois, põem-nas em prática.

"We all started finger-painting on the kitchen table-my wife, Lil, my other son Bob, and myself, all having fun. "Começámos todos a pintar com os dedos na mesa da cozinha - a minha mulher, Lil, o meu outro filho Bob e eu, todos a divertirmo-nos. Soon Tim was peeping around the corner. Bald lugte Tim um die Ecke. Em breve, Tim estava a espreitar ao virar da esquina.

Next he was begging to participate. Ensuite, il implorait de participer. A seguir, estava a implorar para participar. 'Oh, no! You have to go to kindergarten first to learn how to finger-paint. É preciso ir primeiro ao infantário para aprender a pintar com os dedos.

' With all the enthusiasm I could muster I went through the list talking in terms he could understand-telling him all the fun he would have in kindergarten. “Com todo o entusiasmo que consegui reunir, analisei a lista falando em termos que ele pudesse entender, dizendo a ele toda a diversão que ele teria no jardim de infância. The next morning, I thought I was the first one up. Na manhã seguinte, pensei que fosse o primeiro a levantar. I went downstairs and found Tim sitting sound asleep in the living room chair. Je descendis et trouvai Tim assis, profondément endormi, dans la chaise du salon. Desci as escadas e encontrei Tim sentado profundamente adormecido na cadeira da sala.

'What are you doing here? ' I asked. 'I'm waiting to go to kindergarten. I don't want to be late. ' The enthusiasm of our entire family had aroused in Tim an eager want that no amount of discussion or threat could have possibly accomplished." Der Enthusiasmus unserer ganzen Familie hatte in Tim ein sehnsüchtiges Verlangen geweckt, das keine Diskussion oder Drohung hätte erreichen können." L’enthousiasme de toute notre famille avait suscité chez Tim un désir ardent qu’aucune discussion ou menace n’aurait pu réaliser. " O entusiasmo de toda a nossa família havia despertado em Tim um desejo ardente que nenhuma discussão ou ameaça poderia ter realizado. " Tomorrow you may want to persuade somebody to do something. Demain, vous voudrez peut-être convaincre quelqu'un de faire quelque chose. Amanhã você pode querer persuadir alguém a fazer algo.

Before you speak, pause and ask yourself: "How can I make this person want to do it?" Antes de falar, faça uma pausa e pergunte-se: "Como posso fazer essa pessoa querer fazer isso?" That question will stop us from rushing into a situation heedlessly, with futile chatter about our desires. Diese Frage wird uns davon abhalten, uns unbedacht in eine Situation zu stürzen, mit vergeblichem Geschwätz über unsere Wünsche. Cette question nous empêchera de nous précipiter dans une situation inconsidérée, en bavardant futile au sujet de nos désirs. Essa pergunta nos impedirá de entrar descuidadamente em uma situação, com conversa fútil sobre nossos desejos.

At one time I rented the grand ballroom of a certain New York hotel for twenty nights in each season in order to hold a series of lectures. Certa vez, aluguei o grande salão de baile de um certo hotel de Nova York por vinte noites em cada temporada, a fim de realizar uma série de palestras.

At the beginning of one season, I was suddenly informed that I should have to pay almost three times as much rent as formerly. Au début d'une saison, j'ai été subitement informé que je devrais payer presque trois fois plus de loyer qu'auparavant. No início de uma temporada, fui repentinamente informado de que deveria pagar quase três vezes o valor do aluguel anteriormente.

This news reached me after the tickets had been printed and distributed and all announcements had been made. Cette nouvelle m’arrive après que les billets ont été imprimés et distribués et que toutes les annonces ont été faites. A notícia chegou até mim depois que os ingressos foram impressos e distribuídos e todos os anúncios foram feitos.

Naturally, I didn't want to pay the increase, but what was the use of talking to the hotel about what I wanted? Naturellement, je ne voulais pas payer l'augmentation, mais quelle était l'utilité de parler à l'hôtel de ce que je voulais? Naturalmente, não queria pagar o aumento, mas de que adiantava falar com o hotel sobre o que eu queria? They were interested only in what they wanted.

So a couple of days later I went to see the manager. Assim, alguns dias mais tarde, fui falar com o gerente.

"I was a bit shocked when I got your letter," I said, "but I don't blame you at all. "Fiquei um pouco chocado quando recebi sua carta", disse eu, "mas não te culpo de forma alguma. If I had been in your position, I should probably have written a similar letter myself. Se eu estivesse na sua situação, provavelmente teria escrito uma carta semelhante.

Your duty as the manager of the hotel is to make all the profit possible. O seu dever como gerente do hotel é obter todo o lucro possível.

If you don't do that, you will be fired and you ought to be fired. Se não o fizerem, serão despedidos e devem ser despedidos. Now, let's take a piece of paper and write down the advantages and the disadvantages that will accrue to you, if you insist on this increase in rent." Maintenant, prenons un morceau de papier et notons les avantages et les inconvénients qui vous reviendront si vous insistez pour que cette augmentation de loyer augmente. " Agora, vamos pegar numa folha de papel e escrever as vantagens e os inconvenientes que lhe advirão, se insistir neste aumento de renda". Then I took a letterhead and ran a line through the center and headed one column "Advantages" and the other column "Disadvantages." Depois, peguei num papel timbrado, fiz uma linha ao centro e escrevi numa coluna "Vantagens" e na outra coluna "Desvantagens". I wrote down under the head "Advantages" these words: "Ballroom free. J'ai écrit sous la tête "Avantages" ces mots: "Salle de bal gratuite. Escrevi sob o título "Vantagens" estas palavras: "Livre de salão de baile. " Then I went on to say: "You will have the advantage of having the ballroom free to rent for dances and conventions. "Continuei dizendo:" Você terá a vantagem de ter o salão de baile livre para alugar para bailes e convenções. That is a big advantage, for affairs like that will pay you much more than you can get for a series of lectures. Essa é uma grande vantagem, pois assuntos como esse pagarão muito mais do que você pode receber por uma série de palestras.

If I tie your ballroom up for twenty nights during the course of the season, it is sure to mean a loss of some very profitable business to you. Wenn ich Ihren Ballsaal im Laufe der Saison für zwanzig Nächte vermiete, bedeutet das sicher den Verlust eines sehr einträglichen Geschäfts für Sie. Si j'attache votre salle de bal pendant vingt nuits au cours de la saison, cela signifiera à coup sûr une perte d'activité très rentable pour vous. Se eu amarrar seu salão de baile por vinte noites durante o decorrer da temporada, isso certamente significará uma perda de alguns negócios muito lucrativos para você.

"Now, let's 'consider the disadvantages. „Nun, lasst uns die Nachteile betrachten. "Agora, vamos considerar as desvantagens. First, instead of increasing your income from me, you are going to decrease it. Erstens, anstatt Ihr Einkommen von mir zu erhöhen, werden Sie es verringern. Primeiro, em vez de aumentar sua renda comigo, você vai diminuí-la.

In fact, you are going to wipe it out because I cannot pay the rent you are asking. Tatsächlich werden Sie es auslöschen, weil ich die Miete, die Sie verlangen, nicht bezahlen kann. De fato, você vai acabar com isso porque não posso pagar o aluguel que está pedindo.

I shall be forced to hold these lectures at some other place. Ich werde gezwungen sein, diese Vorlesungen an einem anderen Ort zu halten. Serei forçado a dar essas palestras em algum outro lugar.

"There's another disadvantage to you also. „Du hast noch einen weiteren Nachteil. "Há também outra desvantagem para ti. These lectures attract crowds of educated and cultured people to your hotel. Diese Vorträge ziehen Scharen von gebildeten und kultivierten Menschen in Ihr Hotel. Essas palestras atraem multidões de pessoas educadas e cultas ao seu hotel.

That is good advertising for you, isn't it? Isso é uma boa publicidade para você, não é? In fact, if you spent five thousand dollars advertising in the newspapers, you couldn't bring as many people to look at your hotel as I can bring by these lectures. Na verdade, se você gastasse cinco mil dólares anunciando nos jornais, não conseguiria trazer para ver seu hotel tantas pessoas quanto eu consigo com essas palestras. That is worth a lot to a hotel, isn't it?" Isso vale muito para um hotel, não é?" As I talked, I wrote these two "disadvantages" under the proper heading, and handed the sheet of paper to the manager, saying: "I wish you would carefully consider both the advantages and disadvantages that are going to accrue to you and then give me your final decision." Tandis que je parlais, j’ai écrit ces deux "inconvénients" sous la rubrique appropriée et ai remis la feuille de papier au responsable en lui disant: "Je souhaite que vous examiniez attentivement les avantages et les inconvénients qui vous reviendraient, puis moi ta décision finale. " Enquanto conversava, escrevi essas duas "desvantagens" sob o cabeçalho apropriado e entreguei a folha de papel ao gerente, dizendo: "Gostaria que você considerasse cuidadosamente as vantagens e desvantagens que surgirão para você e depois sua decisão final. " I received a letter the next day, informing me that my rent would be increased only 50 percent instead of 300 percent. Recebi uma carta no dia seguinte, informando que meu aluguel aumentaria apenas 50% em vez de 300%.

Mind you, I got this reduction without saying a word about what I wanted. Veja bem, consegui essa redução sem dizer uma palavra sobre o que queria.

I talked all the time about what the other person wanted and how he could get it. Falei o tempo todo sobre o que a outra pessoa queria e como ela poderia conseguir.

Suppose I had done the human, natural thing; suppose I had stormed into his office and said, "What do you mean by raising my rent three hundred percent when you know the tickets have been printed and the announcements made? Angenommen, ich hätte das Menschliche, Natürliche getan; Angenommen, ich wäre in sein Büro gestürmt und hätte gesagt: „Was meinen Sie damit, meine Miete um dreihundert Prozent zu erhöhen, wenn Sie wissen, dass die Tickets gedruckt und die Ankündigungen gemacht wurden? Suponha que eu tivesse feito a coisa natural e humana; suponha que eu invadisse o escritório dele e dissesse: "O que você quer dizer com aumentar meu aluguel em trezentos por cento quando você sabe que os ingressos foram impressos e os anúncios feitos? Three hundred percent!

Ridiculous!

Absurd! I won't pay it! " What would have happened then?

An argument would have begun to steam and boil and sputter - and you know how arguments end. Uma discussão teria começado a ferver, ferver e engasgar - e você sabe como os argumentos terminam.

Even if I had convinced him that he was wrong, his pride would have made it difficult for him to back down and give in. Selbst wenn ich ihn davon überzeugt hätte, dass er im Unrecht war, wäre es ihm aufgrund seines Stolzes schwergefallen, nachzugeben und sich zu fügen. Mesmo se eu o tivesse convencido de que ele estava errado, seu orgulho teria tornado difícil para ele recuar e ceder.

Here is one of the best bits of advice ever given about the fine art of human relationships. Hier ist einer der besten Ratschläge, die je über die hohe Kunst menschlicher Beziehungen gegeben wurden. Voici l'un des meilleurs conseils donnés sur l'art des relations humaines. Aqui está um dos melhores conselhos alguma vez dados sobre a arte das relações humanas.

"If there is any one secret of success," said Henry Ford, "it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." "Wenn es ein Erfolgsgeheimnis gibt", sagte Henry Ford, "liegt es in der Fähigkeit, den Standpunkt der anderen Person einzunehmen und die Dinge sowohl aus der Perspektive dieser Person als auch aus Ihrer eigenen zu sehen." "Se existe algum segredo do sucesso", disse Henry Ford, "está na capacidade de obter o ponto de vista da outra pessoa e ver as coisas do ângulo dessa pessoa, bem como do seu próprio." That is so good, I want to repeat it: "If there is any one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own. " Isto é tão bom que quero repeti-lo: "Se há um segredo para o sucesso, ele reside na capacidade de compreender o ponto de vista do outro e de ver as coisas tanto do ângulo dessa pessoa como do seu próprio. " That is so simple, so obvious, that anyone ought to see the truth of it at a glance; yet 90 percent of the people on this earth ignore it 90 percent of the time. C’est si simple, si évident que tout le monde devrait en avoir un aperçu; Pourtant, 90% des habitants de la planète l’ignorent 90% du temps. Isso é tão simples, tão óbvio, que qualquer um deveria ver a verdade disso de relance; ainda assim, 90% das pessoas neste planeta o ignoram 90% das vezes.

An example?

Look at the letters that come across your desk tomorrow morning, and you will find that most of them violate this important canon of common sense. Observe as cartas que aparecerão na sua mesa amanhã de manhã e você descobrirá que a maioria delas viola esse cânone importante do senso comum.

Take this one, a letter written by the head of the radio department of an advertising agency with offices scattered across the continent. Prenez celle-ci, une lettre écrite par le chef du département radio d'une agence de publicité avec des bureaux dispersés sur tout le continent. Veja esta, uma carta escrita pelo chefe do departamento de rádio de uma agência de publicidade com escritórios espalhados por todo o continente.

This letter was sent to the managers of local radio stations throughout the country. Dieser Brief wurde an die Leiter lokaler Radiostationen im ganzen Land versandt. Esta carta foi enviada aos gerentes de estações de rádio locais em todo o país.

(I have set down, in brackets, my reactions to each paragraph. ) (Anotei, entre parênteses, minhas reações a cada parágrafo.)

Mr. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana Dear Mr. Blank: The ------ company desires to retain its position in advertising agency leadership in the radio field. Mr. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana Sehr geehrter Mr. Blank, das Unternehmen ------ möchte seine führende Position in Werbeagenturen im Radiobereich behalten. M. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana Cher M. Blank: La société ------ souhaite conserver sa position de leader dans le domaine des agences de publicité dans le domaine de la radio. Sr. John Blank, Blankville, Indiana Caro Sr. Blank: A empresa ------ deseja manter sua posição na liderança de agência de publicidade no campo do rádio.

[Who cares what your company desires? [Wen kümmert es, was Ihr Unternehmen wünscht? [Quem se importa com o que sua empresa deseja?

I am worried about my own problems. Preocupo-me com os meus próprios problemas.

The bank is foreclosing the mortage on my house, the bugs are destroying the hollyhocks, the stock market tumbled yesterday. Die Bank sperrt die Hypothek auf mein Haus, die Käfer zerstören die Stockrosen, der Aktienmarkt stürzte gestern ab. La banque saisit l'hypothèque sur ma maison, les insectes détruisent les roses trémières, le marché boursier a chuté hier. O banco está a executar a hipoteca da minha casa, os insectos estão a destruir as malvas-rosa, a bolsa caiu ontem.

I missed the eight-fifteen this morning, I wasn't invited to the Jones's dance last night, the doctor tells me I have high blood pressure and neuritis and dandruff. Perdi o comboio das oito e quinze esta manhã, não fui convidado para o baile dos Jones ontem à noite, o médico disse-me que tenho tensão alta, neurite e caspa. And then what happens? E depois o que é que acontece? I come down to the office this morning worried, open my mail and here is some little whippersnapper off in New York yapping about what his company wants. Je viens au bureau ce matin inquiet, j'ouvre mon courrier et voici un petit bourreau à New York qui jappe sur les souhaits de sa société. Esta manhã, chego ao escritório preocupado, abro o meu correio e aqui está um pequeno rapaz de Nova Iorque a tagarelar sobre o que a sua empresa quer.

Bah! If he only realized what sort of impression his letter makes, he would get out of the advertising business and start manufacturing sheep dip. Wenn er nur wüsste, welchen Eindruck sein Brief macht, würde er aus dem Werbegeschäft aussteigen und mit der Herstellung von Schafsdip beginnen. S'il ne réalisait que l'impression de sa lettre, il cesserait de faire de la publicité et se lancerait dans la fabrication de la trempette au mouton. Se ele apenas percebesse que tipo de impressão sua carta causa, ele sairia do negócio de publicidade e começaria a fabricar mergulho para ovelhas.

This agency's national advertising accounts were the bulwark of the network. Die nationalen Werbekonten dieser Agentur waren das Bollwerk des Netzwerks. Les comptes publicitaires nationaux de cette agence constituaient le rempart du réseau. As contas nacionais de publicidade dessa agência eram o baluarte da rede. Our subsequent clearances of station time have kept us at the top of agencies year after year. Unsere nachfolgenden Freigaben der Stationszeit haben uns Jahr für Jahr an der Spitze der Agenturen gehalten. Nos dégagements ultérieurs du temps de la station nous ont maintenus au sommet des agences année après année. Nossas liberações subsequentes de tempo de estação nos mantiveram no topo das agências ano após ano.

[You are big and rich and right at the top, are you? [Você é grande e rico e está no topo, não é?

So what? E daí? I don't give two whoops in Hades if you are as big as General Motors and Es ist mir scheißegal, ob Sie so groß sind wie General Motors und Je ne donne pas deux oups dans Hadès si vous êtes aussi grand que General Motors et Eu não dou a mínima no Hades se você for tão grande quanto a General Motors e General Electric and the General Staff of the U.S. General Electric e o Estado-Maior dos EUA

Army all combined. Exército todos juntos.

If you had as much sense as a half-witted hummingbird, you would realize that I am interested in how big I am - not how big you are. Se você tivesse tanto bom senso quanto um colibri estúpido, perceberia que estou interessado em quão grande eu sou - não em quão grande você é.

All this talk about your enormous success makes me feel small and unimportant. Toda essa conversa sobre seu enorme sucesso me faz sentir pequeno e sem importância.

We desire to service our accounts with the last word on radio station information. Wir möchten unsere Konten mit dem letzten Wort zu Radiosenderinformationen bedienen. Desejamos atender nossas contas com a última palavra sobre as informações da estação de rádio.

[You desire! [Sie wünschen! [Tu desejas!

You desire. Sie wünschen. Deseja. You unmitigated ass. Du unverschämter Arsch. Vous êtes un âne sans scrupule. Seu idiota absoluto. I'm not interested in what you desire or what the President of the United States desires. Não estou interessado no que você deseja ou no que o Presidente dos Estados Unidos deseja. Let me tell you once and for all that I am interested in what I desire - and you haven't said a word about that yet in this absurd letter of yours . Deixe-me dizer-lhe de uma vez por todas que estou interessado no que desejo - e você ainda não disse uma palavra sobre isso nesta sua carta absurda. Will you, therefore, put the ---------- company on your preferred list for weekly station information - every single detail that will be useful to an agency in intelligently booking time. Werden Sie daher das Unternehmen ---------- auf Ihre bevorzugte Liste für wöchentliche Bahnhofsinformationen setzen - jedes einzelne Detail, das für eine Agentur bei der intelligenten Buchung von Zeit nützlich sein wird. Par conséquent, placerez-vous la société ---------- sur votre liste préférée d'informations hebdomadaires sur les stations - chaque détail utile à une agence en matière de réservation intelligente. Você irá, portanto, colocar a empresa ---------- em sua lista preferida para informações semanais da estação - cada detalhe que será útil para uma agência na hora de reservar de forma inteligente.

["Preferred list. ["Lista preferencial. " You have your nerve! „Du hast Nerven! "Vous avez votre culot! "Você tem coragem! You make me feel insignificant by your big talk about your company - nd then you ask me to put you on a "preferred" list, and you don't even say "please" when you ask it. Você me faz sentir insignificante com sua grande conversa sobre sua empresa - e então você me pede para colocá-lo em uma lista de "preferidos" e nem mesmo diz "por favor" quando pede. A prompt acknowledgment of this letter, giving us your latest "doings," will be mutually helpful. Eine umgehende Bestätigung dieses Schreibens, in der Sie uns Ihre neuesten "Aktivitäten" mitteilen, wird für beide Seiten hilfreich sein. Un accusé de réception rapide de cette lettre et vos dernières "actions" nous seront utiles. Um reconhecimento imediato desta carta, fornecendo-nos suas últimas "ações", será mutuamente útil. [You fool!

You mail me a cheap form letter - a letter scattered far and wide like the autumn leaves - and you have the gall to ask me, when I am worried about the mortgage and the hollyhocks and my blood pressure, to sit down and dictate a personal note acknowledging your form letter - and you ask me to do it "promptly." Vous m'envoyez une lettre type peu coûteuse - une lettre éparpillée au loin, comme les feuilles d'automne - et vous avez le culot de me demander, quand je m'inquiète pour l'hypothèque, les roses trémières et ma tension artérielle, de m'asseoir et de dicter une décision personnelle. note reconnaissant votre lettre type - et vous me demandez de le faire "rapidement". Você me envia uma carta barata - uma carta espalhada por toda parte, como as folhas de outono - e você tem a ousadia de me perguntar, quando estou preocupada com a hipoteca, os hollyhocks e minha pressão sanguínea, para me sentar e ditar uma declaração pessoal. observe o reconhecimento da sua carta de formulário - e você me pede para fazer isso "prontamente". 您寄给我一封廉价的格式信件-一封信件像秋天的树叶一样散落在各处-当我担心抵押贷款,蜀葵和我的血压时,您有胆量要问我,坐下来并命令一个人请注意,确认您的套用信函-您要我“立即”进行。 What do you mean, "promptly". O que é que quer dizer com "prontamente"? Don't you know I am just as busy as you are - or, at least, I like to think I am. Não sabes que estou tão ocupado como tu - ou, pelo menos, gosto de pensar que estou. And while we are on the subject, who gave you the lordly right to order me around? Und wenn wir schon beim Thema sind, wer hat Ihnen das Recht gegeben, mich herumzukommandieren? Et pendant que nous sommes sur le sujet, qui vous a donné le droit de me commander? E enquanto estamos no assunto, quem lhe deu o direito de me ordenar?

...    You say it will be "mutually helpful. ... Sie sagen, es wird "gegenseitig hilfreich sein. ... Vous dites que ce sera "mutuellement utile. ... Você diz que será "mutuamente útil. " At last, at last, you have begun to see my viewpoint. "Enfin, vous avez enfin commencé à voir mon point de vue. "Finalmente, finalmente, você começou a ver meu ponto de vista. But you are vague about how it will be to my advantage. Mas você é vago sobre como isso será vantajoso para mim.

Very truly yours, John Doe Manager Radio Department Muito sinceramente, John Doe Gerente de Departamento de Rádio

P.S.

The enclosed reprint from the Blankville Journal will be of interest to you, and you may want to broadcast it over your station. Der beigefügte Nachdruck des Blankville Journal wird für Sie von Interesse sein, und Sie möchten ihn vielleicht über Ihren Sender senden. A reimpressão em anexo do Blankville Journal será do seu interesse e você poderá transmiti-la pela sua estação.

[Finally, down here in the postscript, you mention something that may help me solve one of my problems. [Finalmente, aqui no pós-escrito, você menciona algo que pode me ajudar a resolver um dos meus problemas.

Why didn't you begin your letter with - but what's the use? Warum hast du deinen Brief nicht mit - aber was nützt das? Pourquoi n'avez-vous pas commencé votre lettre par - mais à quoi ça sert? Por que você não começou sua carta - mas de que serve? Any advertising man who is guilty of perpetrating such drivel as you have sent me has something wrong with his medulla oblongata. Jeder Werber, der sich eines solchen Gelabers schuldig gemacht hat, wie Sie es mir geschickt haben, hat etwas mit seiner Medulla oblongata nicht in Ordnung. Tout publicitaire qui est coupable d'avoir commis un tel acte que vous m'avez envoyé a quelque chose qui ne va pas avec son médulla oblongata. Qualquer publicitário culpado de ter cometido uma bobagem como a que você me enviou tem algo errado com a medula oblongata dele.

You don't need a letter giving our latest doings. Vous n'avez pas besoin d'une lettre indiquant nos dernières actions. Você não precisa de uma carta contando nossas últimas novidades. What you need is a quart of iodine in your thyroid gland. ] Was Sie brauchen, ist ein Liter Jod in Ihrer Schilddrüse. ] O que você precisa é de um litro de iodo na glândula tireóide. ]

Now, if people who devote their lives to advertising and who pose as experts in the art of influencing people to buy - if they write a letter like that, what can we expect from the butcher and baker or the auto mechanic? Agora, se as pessoas que dedicam suas vidas à publicidade e que se apresentam como especialistas na arte de influenciar as pessoas a comprar - se escreverem uma carta como essa, o que podemos esperar do açougueiro, padeiro ou mecânico de automóveis?

Here is another letter, written by the superintendent of a large freight terminal to a student of this course, Edward Vermylen. Aqui está outra carta, escrita pelo superintendente de um grande terminal de carga para um aluno deste curso, Edward Vermylen.

What effect did this letter have on the man to whom it was addressed? Que efeito esta carta teve sobre o homem a quem foi endereçada?

Read it and then I'll tell you. Leiam-no e depois eu digo-vos. A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Brooklyn, N.Y.

11201 Attention:

Mr. Edward Vermylen Gentlemen: Sr. Edward Vermylen Cavalheiros:

The operations at our outbound-rail-receiving station are handicapped because a material percentage of the total business is delivered us in the late afternoon. Les opérations à notre gare de réception de trains sortants sont handicapées, car un pourcentage important de l’activité totale nous est livré en fin d’après-midi. As operações em nossa estação de recebimento de ferrovias de saída são prejudicadas porque uma porcentagem significativa do total de negócios nos é entregue no final da tarde.

This condition results in congestion, overtime on the part of our forces, delays to trucks, and in some cases delays to freight. Cette situation engendre des embouteillages, des heures supplémentaires de la part de nos forces, des retards pour les camions et, dans certains cas, des retards pour le fret. Essa condição resulta em congestionamento, horas extras por parte de nossas forças, atrasos nos caminhões e, em alguns casos, atrasos no frete.

On November 10, we received from your company a lot of 510 pieces, which reached here at 4:20 P.M. No dia 10 de novembro, recebemos da vossa empresa um lote de 510 peças, que chegou aqui às 16:20 horas.

We solicit your cooperation toward overcoming the undesirable effects arising from late receipt of freight. Solicitamos a sua cooperação para a superação dos efeitos indesejáveis decorrentes do recebimento tardio do frete.

May we ask that, on days on which you ship the volume which was received on the above date, effort be made either to get the truck here earlier or to deliver us part of the freight during the morning? Podemos solicitar que, nos dias em que você embarque o volume recebido na data acima, seja feito um esforço para trazer o caminhão para cá mais cedo ou para nos entregar parte da carga durante a manhã?

The advantage that would accrue to you under such an arrangement A vantagem que acumularia para você sob tal acordo

would be that of more expeditious discharge of your trucks and the seria o de uma descarga mais rápida de seus caminhões e o

assurance that your business would go forward on the date of its garantia de que seu negócio seguiria em frente na data de seu

receipt. recibo.

Very truly yours, J----- B ----- Supt. Atenciosamente, J ----- B ----- Supt.

After reading this letter, Mr. Vermylen, sales manager for A. Zerega's Depois de ler esta carta, o Sr. Vermylen, gerente de vendas da A. Zerega's Sons, Inc., sent it to me with the following comment: Sons, Inc., enviou-mo com o seguinte comentário:

This letter had the reverse effect from that which was intended. Dieses Schreiben hat das Gegenteil von dem bewirkt, was beabsichtigt war. Esta carta teve o efeito inverso do pretendido.

The

letter begins by describing the Terminal's difficulties, in which we are carta começa descrevendo as dificuldades do Terminal, em que estamos not interested, generally speaking. não estou interessado, em geral.

Our cooperation is then requested Dann ist unsere Mitarbeit gefragt Nossa cooperação é então solicitada

without any thought as to whether it would inconvenience us, and ohne darüber nachzudenken, ob es uns unangenehm wäre, und sem qualquer pensamento se isso nos incomodaria, e

then, finally, in the last paragraph, the fact is mentioned that if we finalmente, no último parágrafo, é referido o facto de que, se

do cooperate it will mean more expeditious discharge of our trucks coopérer signifiera un déchargement plus rapide de nos camions se cooperarem, isso significará uma descarga mais rápida dos nossos camiões

with the assurance that our freight will go forward on the date of its avec l'assurance que notre fret ira de l'avant à la date de son com a garantia de que o nosso frete irá avançar na data da sua

receipt. le reçu. recibo.

In other words, that in which we are most interested is mentioned Em outras palavras, aquilo em que estamos mais interessados é mencionado

last and the whole effect is one of raising a spirit of antagonism por último e todo o efeito é criar um espírito de antagonismo

rather than of cooperation. ao invés de cooperação.

Let's see if we can't rewrite and improve this letter. Mal sehen, ob wir dieses Schreiben nicht umformulieren und verbessern können. Vamos ver se não podemos reescrever e melhorar esta carta. Let's not waste Não vamos perder any time talking about our problems. qualquer tempo a falar dos nossos problemas.

As Henry Ford admonishes, Como Henry Ford adverte,

let's "get the other person's point of view and see things from his or vamos "obter o ponto de vista da outra pessoa e ver as coisas de seu ou her angle, as well as from our own. " o ângulo dela, bem como o nosso. " Here is one way of revising the letter. Aqui está uma maneira de revisar a carta.

It may not be the best way, Pode não ser a melhor forma,

but isn't it an improvement? mas não é uma melhoria? Mr.

Edward Vermylen % A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Edward Vermylen % A. Zerega's Sons, Inc. 28 Front St. Brooklyn, N.Y.

11201

Dear Mr. Vermylen:

Your company has been one of our good customers for fourteen Sua empresa é uma de nossas boas clientes há quatorze

years.

Naturally, we are very grateful for your patronage and are Naturalmente, estamos muito gratos pelo vosso patrocínio e estamos

eager to give you the speedy, efficient service you deserve. ansiosos para oferecer o serviço rápido e eficiente que você merece.

However, we regret to say that it isn't possible for us to do that No entanto, lamentamos dizer que não é possível fazermos isso when your trucks bring us a large shipment late in the afternoon, as quando seus caminhões nos trazem uma grande remessa no final da tarde, como

they did on November 10. eles fizeram em 10 de novembro.

Why? Because many other customers Porque muitos outros clientes

make late afternoon deliveries also. fazer entregas no final da tarde também.

Naturally, that causes Naturalmente, isso causa

congestion.

That means your trucks are held up unavoidably at the Cela signifie que vos camions sont bloqués inévitablement au Isto significa que os seus camiões ficam inevitavelmente retidos no

pier and sometimes even your freight is delayed. cais e, por vezes, até a sua carga está atrasada.

That's bad, but it can be avoided. Isso é ruim, mas pode ser evitado. If you make your deliveries at the Se fizer as suas entregas no

pier in the morning when possible, your trucks will be able to keep cais da manhã, quando possível, os seus camiões poderão manter

moving, your freight will get immediate attention, and our workers a sua carga será objeto de uma atenção imediata e os nossos trabalhadores

will get home early at night to enjoy a dinner of the delicious chegará a casa cedo à noite para desfrutar de um jantar com os deliciosos

macaroni and noodles that you manufacture. macarrão e aletria que fabrica.

Regardless of when your shipments arrive, we shall always cheerfully Independentemente de quando suas remessas chegarem, sempre devemos

do all in our power to serve you promptly. fazer tudo ao nosso alcance para atendê-lo prontamente.

You are busy. Está ocupado. Please don't Por favor, não trouble to answer this note. dificuldade em responder a esta nota.

Yours truly, J----- B-----, supt. Atenciosamente, J ----- B -----, supt.

Barbara Anderson, who worked in a bank in New York, desired to Barbara Anderson, que trabalhava em um banco em Nova York, desejava

move to Phoenix, Arizona, because of the health of her son.

Using

the principles she had learned in our course, she wrote the following os princípios que ela aprendeu em nosso curso, ela escreveu o seguinte

letter to twelve banks in Phoenix: carta para doze bancos em Phoenix:

Dear Sir:

My ten years of bank experience should be of interest to a rapidly Meine zehnjährige Bankerfahrung sollte für ein schnelles Unternehmen von Interesse sein. Meus dez anos de experiência bancária devem ser de interesse para um rápido

growing bank like yours. banco em crescimento como o vosso.

In various capacities in bank operations with the Bankers Trust Em várias funções em operações bancárias com o Bankers Trust

Company in New York, leading to my present assignment as Branch Empresa em Nova York, levando à minha atual atribuição como Filial

Manager, I have acquired skills in all phases of banking including Gerente, adquiri competências em todas as fases da atividade bancária, incluindo

depositor relations, credits, loans and administration. relations avec les déposants, crédits, prêts et administration. relações com os depositantes, créditos, empréstimos e administração.

I will be relocating to Phoenix in May and I am sure I can contribute Vou me mudar para Phoenix em maio e tenho certeza que posso contribuir

to your growth and profit. para o seu crescimento e lucro.

I will be in Phoenix the week of April 3 Estarei em Phoenix na semana de 3 de abril

and would appreciate the opportunity to show you how I can help e gostaria de ter a oportunidade de vos mostrar como posso ajudar

your bank meet its goals. seu banco atinge seus objetivos.

Sincerely, Barbara L. Anderson Atenciosamente, Barbara L. Anderson

Do you think Mrs. Anderson received any response from that letter? Acha que a Sra. Anderson recebeu alguma resposta a essa carta?

Eleven of the twelve banks invited her to be interviewed, and she

had a choice of which bank's offer to accept. podia escolher qual a proposta do banco a aceitar. Why? Mrs. Anderson

did not state what she wanted, but wrote in the letter how she could não disse o que queria, mas escreveu na carta como ela poderia

help them, and focused on their wants, not her own.

Thousands of salespeople are pounding the pavements today, tired, Tausende von Verkäufern sind heute müde auf den Straßen unterwegs, Des milliers de vendeurs martèlent les trottoirs aujourd'hui, fatigués, Milhares de vendedores estão batendo na calçada hoje, cansados,

discouraged and underpaid. découragé et sous-payé. desanimado e mal pago.

Why? Because they are always thinking

only of what they want. apenas do que querem.

They don't realize that neither you nor I Não se apercebem de que nem tu nem eu want to buy anything.

If we did, we would go out and buy it. Se o fizéssemos, sairíamos e compraríamos. But

both of us are eternally interested in solving our problems. ambos estamos eternamente interessados em resolver nossos problemas.

And if

salespeople can show us how their services or merchandise will help os vendedores podem nos mostrar como seus serviços ou mercadorias podem ajudar

us solve our problems, they won't need to sell us. Wenn sie uns helfen, unsere Probleme zu lösen, brauchen sie uns nicht zu verkaufen. nós resolveremos nossos problemas, eles não precisarão nos vender. We'll buy. And

customers like to feel that they are buying - not being sold. Kunden möchten das Gefühl haben, dass sie kaufen und nicht verkauft werden. os clientes gostam de sentir que estão comprando - não sendo vendidos.

Yet many salespeople spend a lifetime in selling without seeing No entanto, muitos vendedores passam a vida inteira vendendo sem ver

things from the customer's angle. as coisas do ponto de vista do cliente. For example, for many years I Por exemplo, durante muitos anos

lived in Forest Hills, a little community of private homes in the center morava em Forest Hills, uma pequena comunidade de casas particulares no centro

of Greater New York. da Grande Nova Iorque.

One day as I was rushing to the station, I Um dia, quando ia a correr para a estação, eu

chanced to meet a real-estate operator who had bought and sold rencontré un opérateur immobilier qui avait acheté et vendu teve a chance de encontrar um operador imobiliário que comprou e vendeu

property in that area for many years. propriedade nessa zona durante muitos anos.

He knew Forest Hills well, so I Ele conhecia bem Forest Hills, por isso eu

hurriedly asked him whether or not my stucco house was built with rapidement lui demanda si ma maison en stuc avait été construite avec apressadamente perguntei a ele se minha casa de estuque foi construída com

metal lath or hollow tile. latte métallique ou tuile creuse. ripas de metal ou ladrilhos ocos.

He said he didn't know and told me what I Ele disse que não sabia e me disse o que eu already knew - that I could find out by calling the Forest Hills Garden já sabia - que eu poderia descobrir ligando para o Forest Hills Garden

Association.

The following morning, I received a letter from him. Did

he give me the information I wanted? ele me deu a informação que eu queria?

He could have gotten it in Il aurait pu l'avoir dans Ele poderia ter conseguido

sixty seconds by a telephone call. sessenta segundos através de uma chamada telefónica.

But he didn't. He told me again Ele disse-me novamente

that I could get it by telephoning, and then asked me to let him que eu poderia obtê-lo por telefone e, em seguida, pediu-me para deixá-lo

handle my insurance. gérer mon assurance. lidar com meu seguro.

He was not interested in helping me. Ele não estava interessado em ajudar-me.

He was interested only in

helping himself.

J.

Howard Lucas of Birmingham, Alabama, tells how two salespeople Howard Lucas, de Birmingham, Alabama, conta como dois vendedores

from the same company handled the same type of situation, He da mesma empresa lidou com o mesmo tipo de situação, Ele

reported: relatado:

"Several years ago I was on the management team of a small "Vários anos atrás, eu estava na equipe de gestão de uma pequena company.

Headquartered near us was the district office of a large Le siège social près de nous était le bureau de district d’un grand Com sede perto de nós estava o escritório distrital de um grande

insurance company. companhia de seguros.

Their agents were assigned territories, and our Ihren Agenten wurden Gebiete zugeteilt, und unseren Leurs agents se sont vu attribuer des territoires, et nos Os seus agentes foram afectados a territórios, e os nossos

company was assigned to two agents, whom I shall refer to as Carl Firma wurde zwei Agenten zugeteilt, die ich als Carl bezeichnen werde empresa foi atribuída a dois agentes, a quem chamarei de Carl

and John.

"One morning, Carl dropped by our office and casually mentioned "Eines Morgens kam Carl in unser Büro und erwähnte es beiläufig "Un matin, Carl est passé à notre bureau et a mentionné avec désinvolture "Uma manhã, o Carl passou pelo nosso escritório e mencionou casualmente that his company had just introduced a new life insurance policy for dass sein Unternehmen gerade eine neue Lebensversicherungspolice für que sua empresa tinha acabado de lançar uma nova apólice de seguro de vida para

executives and thought we might be interested later on and he und dachte, dass wir vielleicht später daran interessiert sein könnten, und er les cadres et pensé que nous pourrions être intéressés plus tard et il executivos e pensei que poderíamos nos interessar mais tarde e ele

would get back to us when he had more information on it. nos contataria quando tivesse mais informações.

"The same day, John saw us on the sidewalk while returning from a "Am selben Tag sah uns John auf dem Bürgersteig, als er von einem Geschäft zurückkam. "No mesmo dia, John nos viu na calçada enquanto voltava de um coffee break, and he shouted: 'Hey Luke, hold up, I have some great pause café, et il a crié: 'Hey Luke, tiens-toi bien, j'ai un super pausa para o café, e ele gritou: 'Ei, Luke, espera aí, eu tenho ótimas news for you fellows. nouvelles pour vous les gars. notícias para vós, amigos.

' He hurried over and very excitedly told us 'Il s'est dépêché et très enthousiaste nous a dit Ele veio a correr e, muito entusiasmado, disse-nos about an executive life insurance policy his company had introduced à propos d'une politique d'assurance-vie exécutif sa société avait introduit sobre uma apólice de seguro de vida para executivos que a sua empresa tinha introduzido

that very day. nesse mesmo dia.

(It was the same policy that Carl had casually (Era a mesma política que Carl tinha casualmente

mentioned.

) He wanted us to have one of the first issued. ) Er wollte, dass wir eine der ersten Ausgaben bekommen. ) Il voulait que l’un des premiers soit publié. ) Ele queria que tivéssemos uma das primeiras emissões. He gave

us a few important facts about the coverage and ended saying, 'The uns einige wichtige Fakten über die Berichterstattung und sagte abschließend: "Die alguns factos importantes sobre a cobertura e terminou dizendo: "A policy is so new, I'm going to have someone from the home office Politik ist so neu, dass ich jemanden aus dem Home Office bitten werde, sie zu überprüfen. a política é tão nova que vou ter alguém do escritório come out tomorrow and explain it. venha amanhã e explique isso.

Now, in the meantime, let's get Agora, entretanto, vamos lá the applications signed and on the way so he can have more die unterzeichneten und unterwegs befindlichen Anträge, damit er mehr as inscrições assinadas e a caminho para que ele possa ter mais

information to work with.

' His enthusiasm aroused in us an eager “ Sein Enthusiasmus weckte in uns einen Eifer 'Seu entusiasmo despertou em nós um ansioso want for this policy even though we still did not have details, When queremos para esta política, embora ainda não tenhamos detalhes, quando

they were made available to us, they confirmed John's initial eles foram colocados à nossa disposição, eles confirmaram a inicial de John understanding of the policy, and he not only sold each of us a policy, und er hat nicht nur jedem von uns eine Police verkauft, compreensão da política, e ele não apenas vendeu uma apólice a cada um de nós,

but later doubled our coverage. aber später verdoppelte sich unsere Berichterstattung. mas depois dobrou nossa cobertura.

"Carl could have had those sales, but he made no effort to arouse in „Carl hätte diese Verkäufe haben können, aber er hat sich keine Mühe gegeben, aufzuwachen "Carl poderia ter feito essas vendas, mas ele não fez nenhum esforço para despertar us any desire for the policies. " uns jeden Wunsch nach den Richtlinien. " nos qualquer desejo de políticas. " The world is full of people who are grabbing and self-seeking. Die Welt ist voll von Menschen, die packen und selbstsüchtig sind. O mundo está cheio de pessoas que se agarram e procuram por si mesmas.

So the

rare individual who unselfishly tries to serve others has an enormous Der seltene Mensch, der selbstlos versucht, anderen zu dienen, hat eine enorme raro indivíduo que altruisticamente tenta servir aos outros tem uma enorme

advantage.

He has little competition. Er hat wenig Konkurrenz. Tem pouca concorrência. Owen D. Young, a noted lawyer Owen D. Young, um famoso advogado

and one of America's great business leaders, once said: "People who e um dos maiores líderes empresariais da América, disse uma vez: "As pessoas que can put themselves in the place of other people who can understand podem colocar-se no lugar de outras pessoas que podem compreender

the workings of their minds, need never worry about what the future

has in store for them. " tem reservado para eles. " If out of reading this book you get just one thing - an increased Si vous ne lisez pas ce livre, vous n’avez qu’une chose: une augmentation Se da leitura deste livro resultar apenas uma coisa - uma maior

tendency to think always in terms of other people's point of view, tendência de pensar sempre em termos do ponto de vista de outras pessoas, and see things from their angle - if you get that one thing out of this und die Dinge aus ihrem Blickwinkel sehen - wenn du das eine herausbekommst e ver as coisas de seu ângulo - se você conseguir isso

book, it may easily prove to be one of the building blocks of your Buches, kann es sich leicht als einer der Bausteine für Ihre livro, pode facilmente provar ser um dos blocos de construção de seu

career. carreira.

Looking at the other person's point of view and arousing in him an Die Sichtweise des anderen betrachten und in ihm anregen Olhar para o ponto de vista do outro e suscitar nele uma eager want for something is not to be construed as manipulating eifriger Wunsch nach etwas ist nicht als Manipulation zu verstehen désir ardent pour quelque chose ne doit pas être interprété comme manipulant o desejo ansioso por algo não deve ser interpretado como manipulação

that person so that he will do something that is only for your benefit essa pessoa, para que ela faça algo que só a beneficie a si

and his detriment. e em seu detrimento.

Each party should gain from the negotiation. Jede Partei sollte von den Verhandlungen profitieren. Cada parte deve ganhar com a negociação. In

the letters to Mr. Vermylen, both the sender and the receiver of the as cartas para o Sr. Vermylen, tanto o remetente quanto o destinatário do

correspondence gained by implementing what was suggested. correspondência obtida com a implementação do que foi sugerido.

Both

the bank and Mrs. Anderson won by her letter in that the bank die Bank und Frau Anderson haben mit ihrem Schreiben gewonnen, da die Bank o banco e a Sra. Anderson ganharam com a sua carta, na medida em que o banco

obtained a valuable employee and Mrs. Anderson a suitable job. obteve um empregado valioso e a Sra. Anderson um emprego adequado.

And

in the example of John's sale of insurance to Mr. Lucas, both gained through this transaction. através desta transação.

Another example in which everybody gains through this principle of Ein weiteres Beispiel, bei dem alle von diesem Prinzip der

arousing an eager want comes from Michael E. Whidden of Warwick, die ein eifriges Verlangen weckt, kommt von Michael E. Whidden aus Warwick, despertar um desejo ansioso vem de Michael E. Whidden de Warwick,

Rhode Island, who is a territory salesman for the Shell Oil Company. Rhode Island, que é vendedor local da Shell Oil Company.

Mike wanted to become the Number One salesperson in his district, Mike queria tornar-se o vendedor número um do seu distrito,

but one service station was holding him back. mas um posto de gasolina o estava impedindo.

It was run by an older Era dirigido por um mais velho

man who could not be motivated to clean up his station. homem que não estava motivado para limpar sua estação.

It was in

such poor shape that sales were declining significantly. so schlechte Verfassung, dass der Umsatz deutlich zurückging. situação tão ruim que as vendas estavam diminuindo significativamente.

This manager would not listen to any of Mike's pleas to upgrade the Este gerente não quis ouvir nenhum dos apelos de Mike para atualizar o station.

After many exhortations and heart-to-heart talks - all of Depois de muitas exortações e conversas de coração para coração - todas elas

which had no impact - Mike decided to invite the manager to visit the que não teve qualquer impacto - Mike decidiu convidar o diretor para visitar a

newest Shell station in his territory. a mais recente estação Shell no seu território.

The manager was so impressed by the facilities at the new station O gerente ficou tão impressionado com as instalações da nova estação

that when Mike visited him the next time, his station was cleaned up que quando Mike o visitou na vez seguinte, a sua estação estava limpa

and had recorded a sales increase. e havia registrado um aumento nas vendas.

This enabled Mike to reach the Isso permitiu que Mike alcançasse o

Number One spot in his district. O primeiro lugar no seu distrito.

All his talking and discussion hadn't Toda a sua conversa e discussão não helped, but by arousing an eager want in the manager, by showing ajudou, mas por despertar um desejo ávido no gerente, mostrando

him the modern station, he had accomplished his goal, and both the a estação moderna, ele tinha atingido o seu objetivo, e tanto o

manager and Mike benefited. gerente e Mike se beneficiaram.

Most people go through college and learn to read Virgil and master A maioria das pessoas vai para a faculdade e aprende a ler Virgílio e mestre

the mysteries of calculus without ever discovering how their own os mistérios do cálculo sem nunca descobrir como os seus próprios

minds function.

For instance: I once gave a course in Effective Por exemplo: Certa vez, dei um curso de Eficaz

Speaking for the young college graduates who were entering the Falando em nome dos jovens licenciados que estavam a entrar na

employ of the Carrier Corporation, the large air-conditioner der Carrier Corporation, dem großen Hersteller von Klimaanlagen da Carrier Corporation, a grande empresa de aparelhos de ar condicionado

manufacturer. fabricante.

One of the participants wanted to persuade the others Einer der Teilnehmer wollte die anderen davon überzeugen Um dos participantes queria persuadir os outros

to play basketball in their free time, and this is about what he said: para jogar basquetebol nos tempos livres, e foi mais ou menos isto que ele disse:

"I want you to come out and play basketball. "Eu quero que você saia e jogue basquete. I like to play basketball, Gosto de jogar basquetebol,

but the last few times I've been to the gymnasium there haven't mas nas últimas vezes que fui ao ginásio não been enough people to get up a game. houve gente suficiente para organizar um jogo.

Two or three of us got to Dois ou três de nós temos que

throwing the ball around the other night - and I got a black eye. jogando bola outra noite - e fiquei com um olho roxo.

I wish all of you would come down tomorrow night. Eu gostaria que todos vocês descessem amanhã à noite.

I want to play basketball. " Did he talk about anything you want? Ele falou sobre alguma coisa que você queria?

You don't want to go to a Você não quer ir a um gymnasium that no one else goes to, do you? ginásio que mais ninguém vai, não é?

You don't care about Você não se preocupa com what he wants. o que ele quer.

You don't want to get a black eye. Você não quer ter um olho roxo. Could he have shown you how to get the things you want by using Könnte er Ihnen gezeigt haben, wie Sie die Dinge, die Sie wollen, mit Hilfe von Ele poderia ter lhe mostrado como obter as coisas que você deseja usando

the gymnasium? die Sporthalle?

Surely. Com certeza. More pep. Mais energia. Keener edge to the appetite. Schärferer Appetit. Un avantage pour l'appétit. Mais agudo no apetite.

Clearer brain. Cérebro mais claro.

Fun. Games. Basketball.

To repeat Professor Overstreet's wise advice: First, arouse in the Um den weisen Rat von Professor Overstreet zu wiederholen: Errege dich zuerst in der Para repetir o sábio conselho do Professor Overstreet: Primeiro, desperte no other person an eager want He who can do this has the whole world eine andere Person ein eifriges Verlangen Wer dies kann, hat die ganze Welt outra pessoa um desejo ansioso Aquele que pode fazer isso tem o mundo inteiro

with him.

He who cannot walks a lonely way. Celui qui ne peut pas marcher seul. Aquele que não pode percorrer um caminho solitário.

One of the students in the author's training course was worried Um dos alunos do curso de formação do autor estava preocupado about his little boy. sobre o seu filho.

The child was underweight and refused to eat A criança tinha pouco peso e recusava-se a comer

properly. corretamente.

His parents used the usual method. Os seus pais utilizaram o método habitual. They scolded and Ils ont grondé et Eles repreenderam e

nagged. harcelé. importunado.

"Mother wants you to eat this and that. " "Mamãe quer que você coma isso e aquilo." "Father wants you to grow up to be a big man. " Did the boy pay any attention to these pleas? O menino prestou atenção a esses apelos?

Just about as much as Quase tanto como

you pay to one fleck of sand on a sandy beach. vous payez un morceau de sable sur une plage de sable. você paga por um grão de areia em uma praia arenosa.

No one with a trace of horse sense would expect a child three years Ninguém com traços de senso de cavalo esperaria uma criança de três anos

old to react to the viewpoint of a father thirty years old.

Yet that was No entanto, isso foi

precisely what that father had expected. exatamente o que o pai esperava.

It was absurd. Era absurdo. He finally

saw that.

So he said to himself: "What does that boy want? How can Como é que

I tie up what I want to what he wants? " Eu amarro o que eu quero com o que ele quer? " It was easy for the father when he starting thinking about it. Foi fácil para o pai quando começou a pensar nisso.

His boy

had a tricycle that he loved to ride up and down the sidewalk in front tinha um triciclo que adorava andar para cima e para baixo na calçada em frente

of the house in Brooklyn.

A few doors down the street lived a bully - Algumas portas abaixo na rua vivia um valentão -

a bigger boy who would pull the little boy off his tricycle and ride it um menino maior que puxaria o menino do triciclo e o montaria

himself.

Naturally, the little boy would run screaming to his mother, and she Naturalmente, o menino corria gritando para sua mãe, e ela

would have to come out and take the bully off the tricycle and put teria de vir cá fora, tirar o rufia do triciclo e colocar

her little boy on again, This happened almost every day. seu filho de novo, Isso acontecia quase todos os dias.

What did the little boy want? O que o menino queria?

It didn't take a Sherlock Holmes to Não era preciso ser um Sherlock Holmes para answer that one.

His pride, his anger, his desire for a feeling of Sein Stolz, sein Zorn, sein Wunsch nach einem Gefühl der Seu orgulho, sua raiva, seu desejo por um sentimento de

importance - all the strongest emotions in his makeup - goaded him importance - toutes les émotions les plus fortes dans son maquillage - l'a encouragé importância - todas as emoções mais fortes em sua composição - o instigou

to get revenge, to smash the bully in the nose. um sich zu rächen, um dem Tyrannen eins auf die Nase zu geben. para se vingar, para acertar o nariz do valentão.

And when his father E quando o pai dele

explained that the boy would be able to wallop the daylights out of a expliqué que le garçon serait capable de wallop la journée sur explicou que o menino seria capaz de bater a luz do dia fora de

the bigger kid someday if he would only eat the things his mother o garoto maior algum dia se ele apenas comesse as coisas que sua mãe

wanted him to eat - when his father promised him that - there was

no longer any problem of dietetics. já não é um problema de dietética.

That boy would have eaten Aquele menino teria comido

spinach, sauerkraut, salt mackerel - anything in order to be big espinafres, chucrute, cavala salgada - tudo para ser grande

enough to whip the bully who had humiliated him so often. o suficiente para chicotear o rufia que o tinha humilhado tantas vezes.

After solving that problem, the parents tackled another: the little boy Depois de resolverem esse problema, os pais enfrentaram outro: o rapazinho

had the unholy habit of wetting his bed. avait l'habitude impie de mouiller son lit. tinha o péssimo hábito de fazer chichi na cama.

He slept with his grandmother. Ele dormiu com sua avó.

In the morning, his grandmother

would wake up and feel the sheet and say: "Look, Johnny, what you acordava, apalpava o lençol e dizia: "Olha, Johnny, o que é que tu did again last night. " fez novamente na noite passada. " He would say: "No, I didn't do it. You did it. " Scolding, spanking, shaming him, reiterating that the parents didn't Schimpfen, versohlen, beschämen, wiederholen, dass die Eltern nichts getan haben Repreendendo, espancando, envergonhando-o, reiterando que os pais não want him to do it - none of these things kept the bed dry. quero que ele faça isso - nenhuma dessas coisas manteve a cama seca.

So the

parents asked: "How can we make this boy want to stop wetting his os pais perguntaram: "Como é que podemos fazer com que este rapaz deixe de fazer chichi no bed? " What were his wants? Quais eram os seus desejos?

First, he wanted to wear pajamas like Daddy Primeiro, ele queria usar pijama como o papai

instead of wearing a nightgown like Grandmother. em vez de usar uma camisa de dormir como a avó.

Grandmother was

getting fed up with his nocturnal iniquities, so she gladly offered to seine nächtlichen Untaten satt hatte, bot sie ihm gerne an marre de ses iniquités nocturnes, alors elle a volontiers offert à cansada de suas iniqüidades noturnas, ela se ofereceu de bom grado

buy him a pair of pajamas if he would reform. compre um pijama para ele se ele for reformado.

Second, he wanted a Em segundo lugar, ele queria um

bed of his own. cama própria.

Grandma didn't object. Großmutter hatte keine Einwände. Vovó não se opôs. His mother took him to a department store in Brooklyn, winked at Sua mãe o levou a uma loja de departamentos no Brooklyn, piscou

the salesgirl, and said: "Here is a little gentleman who would like to a vendedora e disse: "Aqui está um pequeno cavalheiro que gostaria de do some shopping. " fazer algumas compras. " The salesgirl made him feel important by saying: "Young man, what can I show you? " A vendedora fez com que ele se sentisse importante ao dizer: "Meu jovem, o que posso mostrar para você?" He stood a couple of inches taller and said: "I want to buy a bed for Ele ficou alguns centímetros mais alto e disse: "Quero comprar uma cama por myself." When he was shown the one his mother wanted him to buy, she Quando ele viu o que sua mãe queria que ele comprasse, ela

winked at the salesgirl and the boy was persuaded to buy it. piscou para a vendedora e o menino foi persuadido a comprá-lo.

The bed was delivered the next day; and that night, when Father came home, the little boy ran to the door shouting: "Daddy! A cama foi entregue no dia seguinte; e nessa noite, quando o pai chegou a casa, o rapazinho correu para a porta a gritar: "Papá! Daddy!

Come upstairs and see my bed that I bought!" Suba e veja minha cama que comprei! " The father, looking at the bed, obeyed Charles Schwab's injunction: he was "hearty in his approbation and lavish in his praise." Der Vater, der das Bett betrachtete, befolgte die Anweisung von Charles Schwab: Er war "herzlich in seinem Beifall und überschwänglich in seinem Lob". O pai, olhando para a cama, obedeceu à ordem de Charles Schwab: ele era "caloroso em sua aprovação e generoso em seus elogios". "You are not going to wet this bed, are you? "Não vais molhar a cama, pois não? " the father said. " Oh, no, no!

I am not going to wet this bed. " The boy kept his promise, for his pride was involved. Der Junge hielt sein Versprechen, denn es ging um seinen Stolz. O garoto manteve sua promessa, pois seu orgulho estava envolvido.

That was his bed. He and he alone had bought it. Ele e apenas ele o comprou.

And he was wearing pajamas now like a little man. E agora usava pijama como um homenzinho. He wanted to act like a man.

And he did.

Another father, K.T. Outro pai, K.T.

Dutschmann, a telephone engineer, a student of this course, couldn't get his three-year old daughter to eat breakfast food. Dutschmann, um engenheiro de telefonia, aluno deste curso, não conseguia fazer sua filha de três anos comer no café da manhã. The usual scolding, pleading, coaxing methods had all ended in futility. Die üblichen Methoden des Schimpfens, Flehens und Zuredens waren alle vergeblich. Os métodos habituais de repreensão, defesa e persuasão terminaram em futilidade.

So the parents asked themselves: "How can we make her want to do it?" Então os pais se perguntaram: "Como podemos fazer com que ela queira fazer isso?" The little girl loved to imitate her mother, to feel big and grown up; so one morning they put her on a chair and let her make the breakfast food. A menina gostava de imitar a mãe, de se sentir grande e adulta; então, uma manhã, eles a colocaram em uma cadeira e a deixaram fazer a comida do café da manhã.

At just the psychological moment, Father drifted into the kitchen while she was stirring the cereal and she said: "Oh, look, Daddy, I am making the cereal this morning." No momento psicológico, papai entrou na cozinha enquanto ela mexia o cereal e ela disse: "Olha, papai, estou fazendo o cereal esta manhã". She ate two helpings of the cereal without any coaxing, because she was interested in it. Ela comeu duas porções do cereal sem qualquer persuasão, porque estava interessada nele.

She had achieved a feeling of importance; she had found in making the cereal an avenue of self-expression. Sie hatte ein Gefühl der Wichtigkeit erlangt; sie hatte mit dem Müsli einen Weg gefunden, sich selbst auszudrücken. Ela havia alcançado um sentimento de importância; ela descobriu, ao fazer do cereal, um meio de expressão pessoal.

William Winter once remarked that "self-expression is the dominant necessity of human nature. William Winter bemerkte einmal, dass "Selbstdarstellung das wichtigste Bedürfnis der menschlichen Natur ist. William Winter certa vez observou que "a auto-expressão é a necessidade dominante da natureza humana. " Why can't we adapt this same psychology to business dealings? "Por que não podemos adaptar essa mesma psicologia aos negócios? When we have a brilliant idea, instead of making others think it is ours, why not let them Wenn wir eine brillante Idee haben, warum lassen wir sie nicht einfach zu, anstatt andere glauben zu lassen, es sei unsere Idee? Quando temos uma ideia brilhante, em vez de fazer os outros pensarem que é nossa, porque não os deixar

cook and stir the idea themselves. kochen und rühren die Idee selbst. cozinhar e mexer com a ideia.

They will then regard it as their own; they will like it and maybe eat a couple of helpings of it. Sie werden es dann als ihr eigenes betrachten; es wird ihnen gefallen und sie werden vielleicht ein paar Portionen davon essen. Eles então o considerarão como seu; eles vão gostar e talvez comer algumas porções.

Remember: "First, arouse in the other person an eager want. Lembre-se: "Primeiro, desperte na outra pessoa um desejo ardente. He who can do this has the whole world with him. Wer das schafft, hat die ganze Welt bei sich. Aquele que pode fazer isso tem o mundo inteiro com ele.

He who cannot walks a lonely way." Celui qui ne peut pas marcher seul. " Quem não consegue, caminha sozinho". · Principle 3 - Arouse in the other person an eager want. - Grundsatz 3 - Wecken Sie beim anderen ein sehnliches Verlangen. · Princípio 3 - Desperte na outra pessoa um desejo ardente.

In a Nutshell Fundamental Techniques In Handling People Kurz und bündig Grundlegende Techniken im Umgang mit Menschen Em poucas palavras: Técnicas fundamentais para lidar com pessoas

· Principle 1 Don't criticize, condemn or complain. · Princípio 1 Não critique, condene ou reclame. · Principle 2 Give honest and sincere appreciation. - Prinzip 2 Geben Sie ehrliche und aufrichtige Wertschätzung. - Princípio 2 Agradecer de forma honesta e sincera.

· Principle 3 Arouse in the other person an eager want. · Princípio 3 Desperte na outra pessoa um desejo ardente.