The Skill of Humor | Andrew Tarvin | TEDxTAMU (2)

And we can turn an awkward conversation into something more meaningful

where you learn about the person.

''With beautiful weather, I go outside, or I go hiking or swimming.''

If you're me, you stay inside, because you're very pale.

I like to use SPF building; its the best protection.

We learn about people through ''Yes, and.''

We can also use a yes-and mindset to have more fun,

because the reality is that the average person works 90 thousand hours

in their lifetime.

Ninety thousand hours!

That's the entire length, the entire discography of Netflix.

That is a lot of time.

And we can say, ''Yes, I'm going to work 90 thousand hours,

and I might as well enjoy it.''

Between my junior and senior year of high school,

I worked in a factory,

and I will tell you what was not a very exciting job.

And at the time, I thought that I might, in the future,

want to become an international hip-hop superstar.

So, to pass the time, I would think of rhymes in my head,

then I'd write them down in a notebook a little bit later.

And I recently found one of those notebooks

and discovered why I never became a hip-hop superstar.

Because one of the rhymes was,

"Hydrogen plus hydrogen plus oxygen too, bonded together with covalent glue.

What do you get, just a thing called water,

yeah, it's teaming up and it's only getting hotter."

(Laughter)

It's the reason why I never became a hip-hop superstar.

But it still helped me to pass the time to create humor, to create fun.

And finally from sketch,

we can learn about the importance of commitment to performance.

Because the characters from Saturday Night Live,

Key & Peele, Monty Python,

they're so enjoyable, because the actors are committed to the performance.

And they're confident in their presentation,

because it's like dating, right?

People tell you that they want to date someone who is confident.

A couple years ago, I was with some friends at a bar,

and I saw this beautiful girl at the bar.

''You should go talk to her.''

''I can't do that.''

''Why not?''

''I don't have 'game.'''

''You don't need 'game,' you just need confidence.''

But they don't tell you that they want that confidence in certain areas.

Because no woman wants a man who's confident in math.

(Laughter)

That's what I've got.

(Laughter)

So I was like, ''All right. I'm going to try a math pickup line.''

So I went up to the girl and I was like, ''Hey, girl."

(Laughter)

"Are you a vertical asymptote? Because your beauty has no limits.''

(Laughter)

She was like, ''What did you just say?''

(Laughter)

So I tried again, and I was like, ''Hey, girl.

Are you opposite over hypotenuse? Because you're making me want to sin.''

(Laughter)

She was like, ''I think you should probably leave.''

So I left, right?

But then a few hours later, I was like, "Oh, what I should've said was,

'Hey girl, you're way above average, don't be mean.'''

(Laughter)

Has that ever happened to you,

where you thought of something like four hours after the event?

That's actually a good thing, it's called staircase wit.

The idea of ''this moment happens here,''

and then you think of this idea in the staircase.

That's a good sign, because that means you have comedic instinct.

And through practice and repetition,

you can shorten the time it takes to have that a-ha moment

from being four hours later to only three hours later,

to only two to ten minutes to, then, happening in the moment.

Because a reflection on the past leads to action in the future.

And so we become more comfortable, more confident using humor,

the more that we actually do it.

It's like Amy Cuddy says: ''Fake it until you become it.''

I know there's a couple of people

that are like, ''All right, Justin Timberlake eyes.''

(Laughter)

''What if I'm not funny?''

The truth is if you have ever made someone laugh,

even if it's because you tripped up the steps while going up the steps,

you would still use humor.

But even if you're not ready to try creating humor,

you can still benefit from humor by being a shepherd of humor.

You can share quotations out, you can share a TED talk that you enjoyed,

or you can use images in your presentations.

Because I did not take this picture.

I did not go to Sri Lanka.

I do not know this shepherd or any of these goats.

I found it on Flickr under a Creative Commons license

and shared it with all of you, because I enjoyed it.

But even if you're not ready to create humor,

and you don't think that you can find something interesting on the Internet,

you can still use humor if you know how to smile.

Because when we see someone else smile,

we are primed to mirror that behavior with mirror neurons in our brain.

And when we smile, they smile: we create a human connection.

Other people are like, ''But what if no one laughs?

What if I try humor, and there's an awkward silence?''

Well, it's really only awkward if you spend time on it,

if you dwell on it.

And the reality is that no one has ever been fired because of a bad joke.

An inappropriate one, maybe, but not a bad joke.

Because a bad joke is something like,

"I once had to miss class because of hypothermia,

I was too cool for school."

(Laughter)

That's a bad joke.

(Laughter)

An inappropriate joke is one that has an inappropriate subject,

has an inappropriate target or comes at an inappropriate time.

But as long as we are positive -

(Laughter)

and inclusive, we'll be okay.

Because then if no one laughs at our joke,

it's just now a positive and inclusive statement.

Finally, people are like ''What if no one takes me seriously?''

''What if people think of me as a jester or a clown?''

If you're going to use humor at work,

recognize that humor doesn't replace the work.

Humor is like the salt of a meal.

You wouldn't eat an entire meal of salt, would you?

Because that would make you a horse.

Do you want to be a horse? I say nay.

(Laughter)

But you can still use humor

as long as you're making it more productive.

Managers actually want it,

because they know you're going to be more engaged and get better results.

But let's say you work for an organization that says no fun whatsoever.

The reality is that no one can control how you think.

No one can prevent you from listening to a comedy podcast

on your way home from work

so that you relieve stress and show up more present for your family.

No one can stop you from creating a Twitter account to write puns.

No one can keep you from coming up with chemistry raps while you're working.

The reality is that job satisfaction, your outlook, your way of managing stress

is entirely your responsibility and is the choice that you make.

And this is a skill of humor.

It starts by sharing your point of view,

and then we explore and heighten that point of view.

And we yes-and both our work and our life,

and finally we practice, perform and repeat,

because that's how we get better.

And people can take an improv class, or you can try stand-up comedy,

but we can also just be more aware of how we create humor every single day.

And anyone can do these things.

I'll tell you, the funniest person I know is my grandmother, the one that texts me.

And she's elevated her game from texting to Facebook.

She's now on Facebook and she comments on every single one of my status updates.

And I can't tell

if my grandmother is the nicest, most sincere grandmother in the world,

or if she is secretly trolling me.

(Laughter)

A couple of months ago, I posted,

''I'm trying to decide if I should become an athlete or a criminal,

so I made a list of pros and cons.''

My grandmother's response was one word: ''Funny.''

(Laughter)

I was like, "I don't know.

Does she think it's funny, or is she messing with me?"

A couple weeks later, I posted,

''I think a cozy bar that serves figs would make for a plum date spot.''

My grandmother's response was, ''Ha, ha.''

(Laughter)

And I was like, "There's something about the comma.''

(Laughter)

And I'm like, "She's messing with me."

Then a couple weeks ago, I posted,

''Converting the numbers 51, 6 and 500 to Roman numerals makes me LIVID.''

(Laughter)

My grandmother's response was, ''Hey, this one is actually good.''

(Laughter)

Trolled by my own grandmother.

(Laughter)

It doesn't matter, your age, your income, your perspective,

your personality assessment, your senior superlative

or your celebrity doppelganger.

Anyone can learn to be funnier.

And it all starts with a choice,

a choice to try to find ways to use humor,

a choice to be like my grandmother,

to look at the world around you and think, "WTF -

Wow, that's fun."

Thank you.

(Applause)