How not to take things personally? | Frederik Imbo | TEDxMechelen (2)

by telling what you feel without blaming the other one,

you increase the chance that the other one will understand you

and take your needs into account.

Do you see what I mean?

To conclude -

how not to take things personally.

One - it is not about me!

Look at the other person's intention.

If that doesn't work:

two - it is about me.

Give yourself empathy and speak up.

Ladies and gentlemen,

please, pretty please, do not take it personally,

but I really do hope that you will take a couple of things personally

within the next hours and days.

Only if you do, you can test out these two strategies.

Imagine, just imagine if we could all put this in practice.

Wouldn't that enhance our relationships enormously?

Together we could create a better world.

Wouldn't that be great?

And as a referee, I even earn some money by it.

Who doesn't like 20 euros to learn how not to take things personally?

Show me hands.

Show me hands.

Oh, so many.

Who still wants the 20 euros now?

Who still wants the 20 euros now?

Who still wants the 20 euros now?

And who still wants them now?

Why do you still want these 20 euros?

(Audience member) Because it's still 20 euros!

People may attack you, criticize you or ignore you.

They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out or even walk all over you.

But remember:

whatever they do or say,

you will always keep your value.

Thank you.

(Applause)