Faux Raccord - Les gaffes de Deadpool ! Allociné - YouTube (1) False|Continuity|The|mistakes|of|Deadpool|Allociné|YouTube Faux Raccord - ¡Las meteduras de pata de Deadpool! Allociné - YouTube (1) Faux Raccord - Deadpools blunders Allociné - YouTube (1) Faux Raccord - ляпы Дэдпула! Allociné - YouTube (1) Faux Raccord - The blunders of Deadpool! Allociné - YouTube (1)

Vous connaissez pas Watchdogs le jeu vidéo ? You|you know|not|Watchdogs|the|game|video Don't you know Watchdogs the video game?

Nan je n'ai plus 14 ans No|I|I have|anymore|years no|||| No, I'm not 14 anymore

Vous êtes con You|you are|stupid You're stupid

Bon en tout cas les scénaristes de Deadpool, ils devaient l'adapter en film Well|in|all|cases|the|screenwriters|of|Deadpool|they|they had to|to adapt it|into|movie |||||screenwriters||||||| Well, in any case, the Deadpool screenwriters had to adapt it into a movie.

Ils aiment les animaux ceux- là They|they like|the|animals|| They love animals, those ones.

De... Quoi, pourquoi ? Of|What|why De... What, why?

Watch Dogs Watch|Dogs Watch Dogs.

Dead Pool Dead Pool

Haha c'est marrant ça Haha|it's|funny|that Haha that's funny

En tout cas le projet Watchdogs est mort dans l'oeuf In|all|cases|the|project|Watchdogs|it is|dead|in|the egg In any case, the Watchdogs project is dead in the water

Si il est mort dans l'oeuf If|it|it is|dead|in|the egg If it is dead in the water

Ca va refaire une dead pool It|we are going to|to redo|a|dead|pool It's going to create another dead pool.

Nan mais sérieux Michel arrêtez les blagues No|but|seriously|Michel|stop|the|jokes No, but seriously Michel, stop with the jokes.

La ferme Mich-Mich The|shut up|| Shut up Mich-Mich.

c'était une pure vanne it was|a|pure|joke |||blague It was just a pure joke.

Deadpool ! Deadpool Deadpool!

Mais comment vous êtes rentré ? But|how|you|you are|come back But how did you get in?

Par la porte de derrière Through|the|door|of|back Through the back door

Comme avec ta maman Like|with|your|mom Just like with your mom

Michel comment tu va ma grande ? Michel|how|you|you are|my|big Michel, how are you doing, my dear?

Toujours à t'astiquer le stabilo jaune ? Always|at|to polish|the|highlighter|yellow ||taquiner||stylo stabilo| Still busy with your yellow highlighter?

Et toi, toujours moche comme un pruneau mangé et rechié ? And|you|always|ugly|like|a|prune|eaten|and|re-chewed ||||||prune|||rejeté And you, still as ugly as a chewed and spat-out prune?

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Oh putain ça fait plaisir Oh|damn|it|it makes|pleasure Oh damn, that feels good

Eh, tu sais quoi, comme t'es là Hey|you|you know|what|since|you're|here Hey, you know what, since you're here

Si on se faisait ton film ? If|we|ourselves|we made|your|movie How about we do your movie?

Ha ouais grave Oh|yeah|seriously Oh yeah, totally

Et dès qu'on peut parler de moi ch'uis pour And|as soon as|that we|we can|to talk|about|me|I'm|for And as soon as we can talk about me, I'm in

Alors c'est parti So|it's|started So here we go

Ça va chier dans les casseroles ! It|it's going to|to shit|in|the|pots It's going to get messy!

J'en connais qui vont chier liquide I know some|I know|who|they are going to|to shit|liquid I know some who are going to have a runny one

CE SOIR THIS|EVENING TONIGHT

Euh si je vous emmerde vous l'dites hein Uh|if|I|you|I annoy|you|you say it|right ||||embête||| Uh if I'm bothering you, you let me know, okay?

Maintenant que tu en parles Mich-Mich Now|that|you|about it|you talk|| Now that you mention it, Mich-Mich

Bref, bienvenue dans Faux Raccord, votre analyse d'après film en compagnie de Michel, le spécialiste technique de l'émission, bonjour Michel Anyway|welcome|in|False|Connection|your|analysis|after|film|in|company|of|Michel|the|specialist|technical|of|the show|hello|Michel Anyway, welcome to Faux Raccord, your post-film analysis with Michel, the technical specialist of the show, hello Michel

*Grattement de gorge* Throat clearing|| *Clears throat*

Ah oui et en compagnie de Deadpool, spécialiste de... euuh... ben de-de quoi déjà ? Ah|yes|and|in|company|of|Deadpool|specialist|of|uh|well|||what|already Oh right, and in the company of Deadpool, specialist in... uh... well, what was it again?

Ah ben euh j'aime bien les décapitations, les ablations de membres, mais aussi les câlins et les bananes sur la plage Ah|well|uh|I like|well|the|decapitations|the|amputations|of|limbs|but|also|the|hugs|and|the|bananas|on|the|beach ||||||||removals|||||||||||| Oh well, I like decapitations, amputations, but also hugs and bananas on the beach.

Et Voltron ! And|Voltron And Voltron!

Ok Ok Ok

Et Wham! et Hello Kitty ! And|Wham|and|Hello|Kitty And Wham! and Hello Kitty!

Voila allez Here|let's go There you go, let's go

Une main baladeuse, une photo frauduleuse A|hand|wandering|a|photo|fraudulent ||wandering hand|||fraudulent A wandering hand, a fraudulent photo

RIEN NE NOUS ÉCHAPPE ! NOTHING|NOT|US|ESCAPE NOTHING ESCAPES US!

Alors c'est parti So|it's|started So let's go

Ça va chier dans les casseroles It|we are going to|to shit|in|the|pots It's going to get messy in the pots

Ahh j'en connais qui vont chier liquide Ahh|I know some|I know|who|they are going to|to shit|liquid Ahh I know some who are going to have the runs

CE SOIR BRAN- THIS|EVENING|BRAN TONIGHT BRAN-

Michel, Michel Michel,

J'ai comme une sensation de déjà vu I have|like|a|sensation|of|already|seen I have a feeling of déjà vu

P*tain ça va être long cette émission ||it|it will|to be|long|this|show Damn, this show is going to be long

CHUT, ça commence Shh|it|it starts SHH, it's starting

Ouais, regardez ça Yeah|look at|that Yeah, look at that

c'est le générique de début. it's|the|credits|of|beginning it's the opening credits.

Là tu tiens un slibart d'un mec There|you|you hold|a|slang for a certain type of person|of a|guy ||||un gros morceau|| There you have a slibart from a guy

Ah ouais je me souviens, il avait l'élastique tout détendu après Oh|yeah|I|myself|I remember|it|he had|the elastic|all|relaxed|after Oh yeah, I remember, the elastic was all loose afterwards.

Tu m'étonnes, en tout cas je sais pas où il a acheté son arme, mais je veux bien la même, regarde moi ça You|you surprise me|in|all|case|I|I know|not|where|he|he has|bought|his|weapon|but|I|I want|well|it|same|look|me|that No kidding, anyway I don't know where he bought his weapon, but I wouldn't mind having the same one, look at that.

Elle tire même quand on appuie pas sur la gâchette It|it shoots|even|when|we|we press|not|on|the|trigger |||||appuie||||gâchette It fires even when you don't pull the trigger.

Grave Seriously Seriously.

Ch'ai pas le c*n qui a fait cet effet mais je me réserve une belle direct dans le- I have|not|the|||who|has|made|this|effect|but|I|myself|I reserve|a|nice|punch|in|the I don't know who the hell did that effect but I'm saving a nice punch for the-

Ok en tout cas vu que c'est pris au ralenti c'est peut-être une scène précédente qu'on voit se finir Okay|in|all|case|seen|that|it's|taken|at|slow motion|it's|||a|scene|previous|that we|we see|itself|to finish Okay, anyway, since it's taken in slow motion, it might be a previous scene that we're seeing finish.

Écoute mon chou Listen|my|darling Listen, my dear.

Le spécialiste en arme ici c'est moi The|specialist|in|weapons|here|it's|me The weapon specialist here is me.

et là, c'est une gaffe. and|there|it's|a|blunder and there, it's a blunder.

Non mais ce que je veux dire c'est que- No|but|what|that|I|I want|to say|it's|that No but what I mean is that-

Bon rendez vous utile au moins Michel et donnez une chaise a Deadpool ! Good|let's have|you|useful|at least|least|Michel|and|give|a|chair|to|Deadpool Well, at least it's a useful meeting Michel and give a chair to Deadpool!

Sinon je peux m'assoir sur tes genoux mon bichon... Otherwise|I|I can|to sit down|on|your|knees|my|darling Otherwise, I can sit on your lap my darling...

Non mais c'est bon prenez ma chaise No|but|it's|good|take|my|chair No but it's fine, take my chair

Alors à la fin du générique, juste là So|at|the|end|of the|credits|just|there So at the end of the credits, right there

On a un aperçu du dessin que t'as fait. We|we have|a|glimpse|of the|drawing|that|you have|made We have a glimpse of the drawing you made.

Euh tu veux dire une "oeuvre d'art" Uh|you|you want|to say|a|work|of art Uh, you mean a "work of art"

*Échauffement de la voix* Warm-up|of|the|voice *Voice warm-up*

Mouais, fin ma gamine de 4 ans et demi elle aurait pas fais mieux mais bon Yeah|well|my|little girl|of|years|and|half|she|she would have|not|done|better|but|good Well, my 4 and a half year old daughter couldn't have done better, but oh well.

Je-je-je ne comprend pas ce que tu dis I|I||not|I understand|not|what|that|you|you say I-I-I don't understand what you're saying.

Je crois qu'il essaie d'être drôle I|I believe|that he|he tries|to be|funny I think he's trying to be funny.

Ah d'accord ! Ah|okay Oh okay!

Bon mon Pool Good|my|Pool Well my Pool

Ton dessin est vachement bien, Your|drawing|it is|really|good Your drawing is really good,

mais il y a un souci quand même. but|it|there|there is|a|problem|when|still but there is a problem after all.

Sérieux !!! Seriously Seriously!!!

Vas-y balance la purée ! ||throw|the|mashed potatoes Go ahead, spill the beans!

Si j'avance de 5 minutes, If|I move forward|by|minutes If I move forward 5 minutes,

On voit le moment où tu le montre au méchant dans la bagnole, regarde We|we see|the|moment|when|you|it|you show|to the|villain|in|the|car|look We see the moment you show it to the villain in the car, look.

"Avez-vous vu cet homme" ||seen|that|man "Have you seen this man"

Pause, c'est pas du tout le même Pause|it's|not|of the|all|the|same Wait, it's not at all the same

Ah oui oui mais non Ah|yes|yes|but|no Oh yes yes but no

j'en avais dessiné un autre juste avant... I had|I had|drawn|a|other|just|before I had drawn another one just before...

Ça, ça sent l'excuse à deux balles Mr Pool It|it|it smells|the excuse|at|two|bucks|Mr|Pool That smells like a lame excuse, Mr. Pool.

Ah ouais tu crois, et si je te coupe un bras tu crois qu'il repousse ? Ah|yeah|you|you believe|and|if|I|you|I cut|a|arm|you|you believe|that it|it grows back Oh really, you think so? And if I cut off your arm, do you think it will grow back?

Quoi ?? What What??

Coupe lui la lange plutôt, qu'il la ferme une bonne- Cut|him|it|tongue|instead|that he|it|he shuts|a|good Cut out his tongue instead, so he can shut up for good.

Michel, n'en profitez pas. Michel|not|enjoy|not Michel, don't take advantage of it.

*Rire* Bon en parlant de membres coupés Laugh|Well|in|talking|about|limbs|cut *Laugh* Well, speaking of severed limbs

On va avancer à la scène où tu te la joues "127 heures" We|we go|to move forward|to|the|scene|where|you|yourself|it|you play|hours Let's move on to the scene where you play "127 hours"

Regarde Look Look

*Extrait du film* "Ca va être orgasmique ! Et c'est ainsi que la petite fille devint femme!" Excerpt|from the|movie|It's|going to be||orgasmic|And|it's|thus|that|the|little|girl|she became|woman *Excerpt from the movie* "It's going to be orgasmic! And that's how the little girl became a woman!"

Je fais pause ici I|I make|pause|here I'm pausing here

Donc là, tu es en train de te couper la main gauche So|there|you|you are|in|the process|to|yourself|to cut|the|hand|left So right now, you are cutting your left hand

*Rires* Ouais j'ai aucune limite Laughter|Yeah|I have|no|limit *Laughter* Yeah, I have no limits

Je refais lecture I|I redo|reading I'm rereading.

Attention aux âmes sensibles Attention|to the|souls|sensitive Attention to sensitive souls.

Ho mais c'est dégueulasse là sérieusement... Oh|but|it's|disgusting|there|seriously Oh but this is disgusting seriously...

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Pause Pause Pause

Regardez ici Michel Look|here|Michel Look here Michel

Ben c'est la main droite là qui manque Well|it's|the|hand|right|there|which|is missing Well, it's the right hand that's missing

Quoi ?? What What??

P*tain ! Damn!

Je vais fumer le mec de la post-prod' I|I am going to|to smoke|the|guy|of|the|| I'm going to smoke the post-production guy.

Attendez, donc là vous avouez que vous l'avez pas vraiment coupée votre main Wait|so|there|you|you admit|that|you|you have it|not|really|cut|your|hand Wait, so you're admitting that you didn't really cut your hand.

Mais bien-sûr que non Mich-Mich But|||that|no|| Of course not, Mich-Mich.

C'est un film It's|a|movie It's a movie

Mais oui Michel vous êtes vraiment débile But|yes|Michel|you|you are|really|stupid But yes Michel, you are really stupid

Faites gaffe Michel, Deadpool ne sera pas toujours là pour vous défendre Be|careful|Michel|Deadpool|not|he will be|not|always|there|to|you|to defend Watch out Michel, Deadpool won't always be there to defend you

*Rires bizarre* Laughter|strange *Weird laughter*

En tout cas si je laisse un peu défiler In|all|cases|if|I|I let|a|little|to go by In any case, if I let it go a little

On retrouve ma main gauche dans la menotte ! We|we find|my|hand|left|in|the|handcuff We find my left hand in the handcuff!

T'es un vrai expert mon Michel You're|a|true|expert|my|Michel You're a real expert, my Michel

Oh, tu sais, on a tous un talent caché ! Oh|you|you know|we|we have|all|a|talent|hidden Oh, you know, we all have a hidden talent!

Bon allez je rembobine, on va parler de ta meuf Well|let's go|I|I rewind|we|we are going|to talk|about|your|girlfriend Alright, I'll rewind, we're going to talk about your girl.

Ah c'est un sacré ptit lot celle là ! Ah|it's|a|hell of a|little|lot|her| Ah, she's quite a catch, that one!

Ouais tu t'emmerdes pas hein ! Yeah|you|you are bored|not|right Yeah, you're not bored, are you!

Allez, regardons l'extrait Come on|let's watch|the excerpt Come on, let's watch the clip.

*Extrait du film* (W) "Prépare-toi à l'humiliation!" (V) "Même pas peur!" Excerpt|from the|movie||||for|the humiliation||Even|not|fear *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "Get ready for humiliation!" (V) "Not even scared!"

Pause Pause Pause

P*tain elle est gaulée quand même! ||she|she is|built|when|even Damn, she's built well!

Euh Mr Pool, Uh|Mr|Pool Uh Mr. Pool,

Qu'est-ce que vous foutez avec cette peluche ? ||that|you|you are doing|with|this|stuffed animal What are you doing with that stuffed animal?

Ah pardon je me suis laissé emporter... Ah|sorry|I|myself|I am|let|carried away Oh sorry, I got carried away...

Oh elle est mignonne cette licorne Oh|it|it is|cute|this|unicorn Oh, that unicorn is cute.

Bon, regardez: ici Well|look|here Well, look: here.

Vanessa n'a pas de tatouage Vanessa|she has not|not|any|tattoo Vanessa doesn't have a tattoo.

Euh oui et alors ? Uh|yes|and|so Uh, yes, and so what?

Oh Mich-Mich à chaque fois tu demandes ça ! Oh|||at|every|time|you|you ask|that Oh Mich-Mich, you ask that every time!

C'est l'auteur qui te déteste, ou tu comprend vraiment rien à cette émission depuis 7 ans ? It's|the author|who|you|he hates|or|you|you understand|really|nothing|to|this|show|for|years Is it the author who hates you, or do you really not understand anything about this show for 7 years?

Euh... ben je... Uh|well|I Uh... well, you are...

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Bien envoyé ! Well|sent Well said!

Maintenant, je laisse un peu défiler. Now|I|I let|a|little|to scroll Now, I'll let it run a bit.

*Extrait du film* (W) "L'anneau de Voltron, défenseur de l'univers, édition limitée, por favor!" Excerpt|from the|movie||The Ring|of|Voltron|defender|of|the universe|edition|limited|please|please *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "The ring of Voltron, defender of the universe, limited edition, please!"

Hop! Hop Hop!

On peut voir ici qu'elle a maintenant un tatouage en dessous de l'oreille! We|we can|see|here|that she|she has|now|a|tattoo|in|underneath|of|the ear We can see here that she now has a tattoo below her ear!

Deadpool et Michel : Bien vu ça Michel ! Deadpool|and|Michel|Well|seen|that|Michel Deadpool and Michel: Good catch, Michel!

*Rires* *Laughter*

Vous avez pas le droit de piquer mes répliques... You don't have the right to steal my lines...

Arrêtez de chouiner Michel ! Allez, Stop whining Michel! Come on,

on continue sur Vanessa ! J'avance de 4 minutes, let's continue with Vanessa! I'm moving ahead by 4 minutes,

Voilà. Here it is Here it is.

Regardes Pool, Look| Look, Pool,

C'est le moment où tu l'a demandée en mariage ! It's|the|moment|when|you|her|asked|in|marriage This is the moment when you proposed to her!

*Rires de joie* Laughter|of|joy *Laughter of joy*

On est tellement mignons...! We|we are|so|cute We are so cute...!

Pause. Pause Pause.

Et ça, c'est sa bague de fiançailles. And|that|it's|her|ring|of|engagement And this, is her engagement ring.

C'est quoi ce truc ? It's|what|this|thing What is this thing?

Oh Mich-Mich, tu comprends rien à l'amour ! Oh|||you|you understand|nothing|about|love Oh Mich-Mich, you understand nothing about love!

Il comprend pas grand chose à quoi que-ce soit ! He|he understands|not|much|thing|about|what||| He doesn't understand much of anything!

Michel !! Michel Michel!!

Maintenant, Now Now,

Je vais avancer jusqu'à ce que Francis vienne faire une petite visite à ton pote La Fouine I|I will|to move forward|until|that|that|Francis|he comes|to make|a|small|visit|to|your|buddy|The|Fouine I will move forward until Francis comes to pay a little visit to your buddy La Fouine.

Là, There There,

Il tient la fameuse photo que vous avez pris avec Vanessa sauf que... He|he holds|the|famous|photo|that|you|you have|taken|with|Vanessa|except|that He is holding the famous photo you took with Vanessa except that...

Oh c'est trop mystique ! Oh|it's|too|mystical Oh it's too mystical!

Ma jolie bague a disparu ! My|pretty|ring|it has|disappeared My pretty ring has disappeared!

Je sais !! I|I know I know!!

Et regarde, si je mes le plan où la photo est prise à côté, And|look|if|I|I put|the|plan|where|the|photo|it is|taken|at|side And look, if I put the map where the photo was taken next to it,

Ah oui c'est pas du tout la même pose Ah|yes|it's|not|of the|at all|the|same|pose Oh yes, it's not at all the same pose.

Ni la même façon de sourire Neither|the|same|way|to|to smile Neither the same way of smiling

Ah c'est clair, j'ai l'air d'un parfait abruti sur cette photo... Ah|it's|clear|I have|the look|of a|perfect|idiot|on|this|photo Ah it's clear, I look like a perfect idiot in this photo...

*Rires bizarre* Laughter|strange *Weird laughter*

Et t'as vu comment elle tient ta tête ? And|you have|seen|how|she|she holds|your|head And did you see how she holds your head?

On dirait qu'elle va tomber ! We|it seems|that she|she is going|to fall It looks like she's going to fall!

*Soupir* Voilà ce que c'est que d'bosser avec une bande de branl- Sigh|There|this|that|||of working|with|a|group|of| *Sigh* This is what it's like to work with a bunch of slackers-

Langage ! Language Language!

Quoi "langage" ?! What|language What do you mean "language"?!

Ben surveillez votre langage! *Claque* Well|watch|your|language|Slap Well watch your language! *Slap*

*Cris* Mais pourquoi vous ... Shouts|But|why|you *Screams* But why are you ...

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Oups pardon, *rire*, c'est un réflexe. Oops|sorry|laughter|it's|a|reflex Oops sorry, *laugh*, it's a reflex.

Vous l'avez pas vue venir celle la Michel! Tenez, You|you have it|not|seen|to come|that|it|Michel|Hold You didn't see that one coming, Michel! Here,

En parlant de truc qu'on voit pas venir, In|talking|of|thing|that we|we see|not|to come Speaking of things that you don't see coming,

J'ai une petite gaffe à vous montrer ! I have|a|small|blunder|to|you|to show I have a little blunder to show you!

Regardez ! Look Look!

*Extrait du film* (W) "J'vais faire à ta gueule c'que Limp Bizkit a fait à la musique des années 90 !" *Boum* Excerpt|from the|movie||I'm going to|to do|to|your|face|what|Limp|Bizkit|they have|done|to|the|music|of the|years|Boom *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "I'm going to do to your face what Limp Bizkit did to the music of the 90s!" *Boom*

Oh non pas lui !! Oh|no|not|him Oh no, not him!!

Ouais je sais, désolé ce sera rapide. Yeah|I|I know|sorry|it|it will be|quick Yeah, I know, sorry it will be quick.

Donc là, Colossus se pointe. So|there|Colossus|himself|he shows up So now, Colossus shows up.

Tu viens à peine de découvrir qu'il est là. You|you come|to|barely|to|to discover|that he|he is|there You just found out that he is there.

Sauf que si j'avance de 10 minutes Except|that|if|I move forward|by|minutes Except that if I move forward 10 minutes

Au moment où Negasonic et lui t'embarquent, At|moment|where|Negasonic|and|him|they take you At the moment when Negasonic and he take you,

on voit en arrière plan leur avion ! we|we see|in|back|background|their|plane we see their plane in the background!

Juste là ! Just|there Right there!

Et là mon mignon, tu te demandes comment j'ai pas pu les entendre arriver ! And|there|my|cute|you|yourself|you ask|how|I have|not|been able|them|to hear|to arrive And there my cutie, you're wondering how I couldn't hear them coming!

Ben ouais ! Well|yeah Well yeah!

C'est parce que c'est un avion qui ne fait pas de bruit du tout ! It's|because|that|it's|a|airplane|that|not|it makes||any|noise|of|at all It's because it's a plane that makes no noise at all!

Oh arrêtes pas à moi écoutes ! Oh|stop|not|to|me|listen Oh don't stop listening to me!

*Bruit de l'avion* Noise|of|the plane *Sound of the airplane*

Oui bon c'est vrai... Yes|well|it's|true Yes, well it's true...

Je mens comme une petite merdeuse. I|I lie|like|a|little|brat I'm lying like a little brat.

C'est bien trouvé va ! It's|well|found|go That's well said, come on!

Maintenant j'avance de 4 minutes, Now|I move forward|by|minutes Now I'm moving ahead by 4 minutes,

avant que tu te transformes en crotte de bouc transgénique ! before|that|you|yourself|you transform|into|dung|of|goat|transgenic before you turn into a transgenic goat droppings!

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Ptit trou du c- Little|hole|of the|it Little hole of the c-

Langage ! Language Language!

*Claque* *Cris* Slap|Screams *Slap* *Screams*

Merdouille, je suis désolé, c'est parti tout seul ! Crap|I|I am|sorry|it's|gone|all|alone Darn it, I'm sorry, it just happened on its own!

*Rires* Laughter *Laughter*

Vous verriez votre g*le Michel ! You|you would see|your|||Michel You should see your face, Michel!

Bon regardez cette scène. Well|look|this|scene Well, look at this scene.

*Extrait du film* (W) "C'est quoi ton vrai nom ? Kevin ? Bruce? Scott ? Mitch ? Ricky la Malice ? T'es le poisson nommé Wanda ?" Excerpt|of the|movie||It's|what|your|real|name|Kevin|Bruce|Scott|Mitch|Ricky|the|Mischief|You're|the|fish|named|Wanda *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "What's your real name? Kevin? Bruce? Scott? Mitch? Ricky the Mischief? Are you the fish named Wanda?"

Alors Michel ? Elle était facile celle-là, vous avez vu ? So|Michel|It|it was|easy|||you|you have|seen So Michel? That one was easy, did you see?

*Déprimé*Oui j'ai vu, Depressed|Yes|I have|seen *Depressed* Yes, I saw,

C'était le tuyau sur l'épaule. It was|the|pipe|on|the shoulder It was the pipe on the shoulder.

Bien trouvé Michel ! Je vous la repasse. Well|found|Michel|I|you|it|I pass it again Well done Michel! I'll pass it back to you.

*Extrait du film* Excerpt|from the|movie *Excerpt from the movie*

Pause. Pause Pause.

Là, il y a un machin sur l'épaule gauche de Wade. There|it|there|there is|a|thing|on|the shoulder|left|of|Wade There is a thing on Wade's left shoulder.

Et juste après, And|just|after And right after,

*Extrait du film* Excerpt|from the|movie *Excerpt from the movie*

*En choeur* Il n'y est plus ! In|unison|It|there|is|anymore *In unison* He's not there anymore!

*Soupir* Je commence à fatiguer moi hein... Sigh|I|I start|to|to tire|myself|right *Sigh* I'm starting to get tired, you know...

Allez Mich-Mich tenez le coup ! Come on|||hold|it|effort Come on Mich-Mich, hang in there!

Ne m'appelez plus jamais comme ça Michel. Not|call me|anymore|ever|like|that|Michel Don't ever call me that again, Michel.

Allez j'avance de 15 minutes Come on|I move forward|by|minutes Come on, I'm moving forward 15 minutes.

Regardez. Look Look.

*Extrait du film* (W) "Où est Francis ?" Excerpt|from the|movie||Where|is|Francis *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "Where is Francis?"

C'est vraiment une erreur ce costume... It's|really|a|mistake|this|costume This costume is really a mistake...

Et puis les mecs me répondaient jamais là ! And|then|the||to me|they were answering|never|there And then the guys never answered me there!

P*tain il m'ont mis en colère ! ||they|they put me|put|in|anger Damn, they made me angry!

Ouais, mais pourquoi tu leur as demandé où était Francis ? Yeah|but|why|you|to them|you have|asked|where|he was|Francis Yeah, but why did you ask them where Francis was?

Ben pour le trouver mon Michel ! Well|to|it|to find|my|Michel Well to find him my Michel!

Non mais les mecs le connaissent sous son pseudo, pas sous son vrai nom ! No|but|the|guys|him|they know|under|his|nickname|not|under|his|real|name No but the guys know him by his nickname, not by his real name!

T'aurais dû demander ou était Ajax. You would have|had to|to ask|where|it was|Ajax You should have asked where Ajax was.

Plutôt me faire ramoner le conduit que de prononcer ce pseudo idiot... Rather|myself|to have|to clean|the|flue|than|to|to pronounce|that|nickname|stupid I would rather have my chimney swept than say that stupid nickname...

Ouais mais vous étiez pas prêt de le trouver comme ça ! Yeah|but|you|you were|not|ready|to|it|to find|like|that Yeah, but you weren't going to find it like that!

Ouais c'est vrai, mais je me suis bien amusé à buter tout ces- Yeah|it's|true|but|I|myself|I am|quite|amused|to|to kill|all|those Yeah, that's true, but I had a lot of fun taking out all those—

Ne dite pas "langage" Michel ! Not|say|not|language|Michel Don't say "language" Michel!

Vous savez ce qu'il va se passer ! You|you know|what|that it|it is going|itself|to happen You know what's going to happen!

*Marmonne* Ouais ouais, enchaînez... Mumble|Yeah|yeah|continue *Murmurs* Yeah yeah, keep going...

Alors là, on est à la fin du film, So|there|we|we are|at|the|end|of the|movie So here we are, at the end of the movie,

au moment où Vanessa va enlever le masque de Deadpool, at the|moment|when|Vanessa|she is going to|to take off|the|mask|of|Deadpool at the moment when Vanessa is going to take off Deadpool's mask,

Regardez. Look Look.

*Extrait du film* (W) "Mais le gars sous ce masque, c'est plus le même que celui que tu as connu..." Excerpt|from the|movie||But|the|guy|under|that|mask|it's|more|the|same|than|the one|that|you|you have|known *Excerpt from the movie* (W) "But the guy under that mask, he's not the same as the one you knew..."

Pause. Pause Pause.

Là, on ne voit aucun endroit où le masque pourrait s'ouvrir. There|we|not|we see|any|place|where|the|mask|it could|to open There is no visible place where the mask could open.

Du travail de pro, hein mon lapin ! Some|work|of|pro|right|my|bunny Professional work, huh my bunny!

Carrément ! Totally Absolutely!

Le problème mon Pool, c'est que si je laisse un peu défiler... The|problem|my|Pool|it's|that|if|I|I let|a|little|to go by The problem, my Pool, is that if I let it go a little...

*Extrait du film* (V) "Ce masque-ci tu veux dire ?" Excerpt|from the|movie|V|This|||you|you want|to say *Excerpt from the movie* (V) "This mask, you mean?"

Regarde là ! Look|there Look there!

On voit à présent très bien l'endroit du scratch ! We|we see|at|now|very|well|the place|of the|scratch We can now see very well the place of the scratch!

Oula oula oula oula ! Oh dear|oh dear|oh dear|oh dear Whoa whoa whoa whoa!

C'est pas beau ça... It's|not|beautiful|that That's not nice...

Du coup j'imagine qu'il y avait deux masques différents ! So|blow|I imagine|that it|there|there were|two|masks|different So I guess there were two different masks!

T'es un malin toi Mich-Mich ! You are|a|clever|you|| You're a clever one, Mich-Mich!

En tout cas, j'ai du dégueulasser mes deux masques là, et ces enfoirés de la production m'ont même pas remboursé le pressing... In|all|cases|I have|some|to mess up|my|two|masks|there|and|those|bastards|of|the|production|they have|even|not|reimbursed|the|dry cleaning In any case, I must have ruined my two masks there, and those bastards from production didn't even reimburse me for the dry cleaning...

Ah ben tiens mon Pool, on va finir sur ça justement ! Ah|well|here|my|Pool|we|we are going|to finish|on|that|just Oh well, my Pool, we're going to end on that, actually!

Sur la production ? On|the|production On production?

Nan, sur le trou et le sang sur ton masque ! No|on|the|hole|and|the|blood|on|your|mask No, on the hole and the blood on your mask!

Donc là, on le voit bien So|there|we|it|we see|well So there, we can see it clearly

Et maintenant je rembobine au moment où ça arrive, And|now|I|I rewind|to the|moment|when|it|it happens And now I rewind to the moment it happens,

Regarde. Look Look.

*Extrait du film* Excerpt|from the|movie *Excerpt from the movie*

*Choc* Shock *Shock*

Ah oui ça doit pas faire du bien ça quand même... Ah|yes|that|it must|not|to do|some|good|that|when|even Oh yes, that must not feel good at all...

Ce qui fait pas du bien, c'est l'humiliation que j'ai subi dans X-Men Origins... That|which|it does|not|some|good|it's|the humiliation|that|I have|suffered|in|||Origins What doesn't feel good is the humiliation I suffered in X-Men Origins...

Euh...d'accord... Uh|okay Uh... okay...

Arrête de ressasser ça mon Pool, c'était pas ta faute ! Stop|from|dwelling on|that|my|Pool|it was|not|your|fault Stop dwelling on that my Pool, it wasn't your fault!

*Soupir* T'as raison mon Michel..! Sigh|You have|right|my|Michel *Sigh* You're right my Michel..!

Allez je laisse défiler, regarde. Come on|I|I let|scroll|look Come on, I'll let it go, look.

*Extrait du film* Excerpt|from the|movie *Excerpt from the movie*

*Râle* Elle déboîte cette gamine ! Moan|She|she rocks|this|girl *Groans* This girl is amazing!

C'est clair, mais t'es meilleur ! It's|clear|but|you're|better It's clear, but you're better!

Ben évidement ! *Rires* ch'uis invincible Well|obviously|Laughter|I'm|invincible Well of course! *Laughter* I'm invincible!

Attends je fais pause... Wait|I|I make|pause Wait, I'm taking a break...

*Extrait du film* Excerpt|from the|movie *Excerpt from the movie*

...ici. here ...here.

Regarde ton masque, lui aussi est invincible, le voilà comme neuf! Look|your|mask|it|also|it is|invincible|it|there it is|like|new Look at your mask, it's invincible too, here it is as good as new!

Super bien trouvé ça Michel ! Super|well|found|that|Michel Well found that Michel!

C'est clair... It's|clear It's clear...

Si je chope l'équipe du film, je vais me les embrocher façon kebab ! If|I|I catch|the team|of the|movie|I|I will|myself|them|to skewer|way|kebab If I catch the film crew, I'm going to skewer them like kebabs!

Vous savez Mr Pool, la violence est pas forcément à- You|you know|Mr|Pool|the|violence|it is|not|necessarily|to You know Mr. Pool, violence isn't necessarily...

*Imite sa voix* La violence c'est pas forcément la réponse à- Imitate|his|voice|The|violence|it's|not|necessarily|the|answer|to *Imitates his voice* Violence is not necessarily the answer to-

Sérieux Mich-Mich, t'es vraiment pas un mec fun. Seriously|||you're|really|not|a|guy|fun Seriously Mich-Mich, you're really not a fun guy.

Ouais Michel vous êtes pas marrant, bon moi j'ai fini ! Yeah|Michel|you|you are|not|funny|well|me|I have|finished Yeah Michel, you're not funny, well I'm done!

Oh non..! Oh|no Oh no..!

Et bien merci Michel et "merci Deadpool ", c'est la fin de cette émission, on se retrouve très bientôt pour un nouveau Faux-Raccord ! And|well|thank you|Michel|and|thank you|Deadpool|it's|the|end|of|this|show|we|ourselves|we meet|very|soon|for|a|new|| Well thank you Michel and "thank you Deadpool", this is the end of this show, we'll see you very soon for a new Faux-Raccord!

Et j'aurai du lourd, du très très lourd ! And|I will have|some|heavy|some|very|very|heavy And I will have some heavy stuff, very very heavy!

Bisous bisous ! Kisses|kisses Kisses kisses!

Euh vous trimbalez partout votre licorne là ..? Uh|you|you carry|everywhere|your|unicorn|there Uh, are you carrying your unicorn everywhere?

Pourquoi, tu veux que je te la prête ? Why|you|you want|that|I|to you|it|I lend Why, do you want me to lend it to you?

Je te préviens, elle a vu des choses... I|to you|I warn|she|she has|seen|some|things I warn you, she has seen things...

Oh non... Oh|no Oh no...

Oh non me dite pas q- Oh|no|to me|you say|not| Oh no don't tell me that-

Mich-Mich... Mich-Mich...

T'es trop prude pour que je te raconte ça ! You're|too|prude|for|that|I|you|I tell|that You're too prude for me to tell you that!

Oui Michel, Yes|Michel Yes Michel,

mieux vaut que vous sachiez pas tout ! better|it is worth|that|you|you know|not|everything it's better that you don't know everything!

Au fait Deadpool, At|fact|Deadpool By the way Deadpool,

tu restes longtemps ? you|you stay|long are you staying long?

Euh jusqu'à demain mon lapin, pourquoi ? Um|until|tomorrow|my|bunny|why Uh until tomorrow my bunny, why?

Trop bien !! So|good So cool!!

On se fait une soirée Chimichanga ? We|ourselves|we have|a|evening|Chimichanga Shall we have a Chimichanga night?

Oh oui !! Oh|yes Oh yes!!

Oh je suis tout excité mon Michel! Oh|I|I am|all|excited|my|Michel Oh I'm so excited my Michel!

Comme une puce à l'avance au bal de promo ! Like|a|flea|at|the advance|at the|ball|of|prom Like a flea ahead of prom!

Une soirée Chimichanga... mais c'est quoi encore ça, c'est une de vos pratiques déviantes à tous les deux là ? A|evening|Chimichanga|but|it's|what|again|that|it's|a|of|your|practices|deviant|to|all|the|two|there A Chimichanga evening... but what is that again, is it one of your deviant practices, you two?