How to Meet New People - 6 Tips for Making More Friends Wie man neue Leute kennenlernt - 6 Tipps, um mehr Freunde zu finden Cómo conocer gente nueva - 6 consejos para hacer más amigos Comment rencontrer de nouvelles personnes - 6 conseils pour se faire plus d'amis Como conhecer pessoas novas - 6 dicas para fazer mais amigos Как знакомиться с новыми людьми - 6 советов, как завести больше друзей Yeni İnsanlarla Nasıl Tanışılır - Daha Fazla Arkadaş Edinmek İçin 6 İpucu 如何结识新朋友 - 结交更多朋友的 6 个秘诀

So , a couple of weeks ago, Birkaç hafta önce,

I lost all of my friends. Bütün arkadaşlarımı kaybettim.

You probably remember I put out this video Muhtemelen bu videoyu yayınladığımı hatırlıyorsunuzdur

on seven different money mistakes people often make insanların sıklıkla yaptığı yedi farklı para hatası üzerine

and in that video, I publicly declared, very stupidly, ve o videoda, çok aptalca bir şekilde kamuoyuna ilan ettim,

that I actually enjoy looking at financial spreadsheets.

And ever since then, none of my friends have texted me back.

And weirdly, every time I go out in public,

I just hear people yelling nerd at me. Solo escucho a la gente gritándome nerd.

I don't know why.

Anyway, since then, De todos modos, desde entonces,

I've been trying to make some new friends,

and in that process, I have made a discovery,

which is that making friends really isn't as easy

as it was back when I was kid.

But that doesn't matter,

I actually, I do have some friends still.

There's Bing Bong, there's Gary, there's Tyler, Eduardo,

see I got tons of friends.

Still, I would like to make some more.

And I would not be surprised if you feel

the exact same way that I do about making friends

because this is a very, very common problem.

A lot of people find it difficult to make friends.

Especially as they get older

or when they say, move to new city.

So, as somebody who is in fact getting older,

and who moved to a new city in the past year and a half,

I wanna share some tips and strategies

for making new friends.

And we're gonna do something

that I haven't done in quite a while,

which is make a two part video.

So in this video, we're gonna focus on the process

of making new friends.

We're gonna talk about how to meet new people

and also break the ice

so you can actually have great conversations.

And then later this week,

I'm gonna release a second video

which will be all about

how to take those casual acquaintances como levar aqueles conhecidos casuais

and casual friendships

and turn them into deeper, more meaningful friendships.

Now, today's video is going to include six different tips,

but before we get into those,

I do wanna share a quote Eu quero compartilhar uma citação

from the author and speaker, Zig Ziglar.

If you go looking for a friend,

you're gonna find they're very scarce.

If you go out to be a friend, Si sales a ser un amigo,

you'll find them everywhere.

Keep this in mind when you're trying

to put the tips in this video into action.

If you can remember that making friends

is about giving more than receiving,

about putting in a lot of effort,

and about helping people,

then you're gonna have no problem whatsoever making friends.

And with that, let's move on to the tips.

Starting with tip number one,

which is to go out and do active things.

Now, this tip stems from a question I got Ahora, este consejo proviene de una pregunta que recibí

from a student years ago,

and that has been repeated by many other people

who've messaged me in the intervening years. 중재 년 동안 나에게 메시지를 보낸 사람.

Which was where do I go to meet people

who could become my friends?

And this person,

the first person who asked me this question,

didn't really know where to go

because they had really only made friends by proximity. 그들은 단지 근접해서 만 친구를 사귀었기 때문입니다.

Whether it be in their neighborhood when they were a kid,

or in their dorm in college.

And what I told them was,

if you wanna meet friends who actually do cool things,

who are active,

then you have to go to where active things are happening.

You can't just sit around your dorm room

waiting for somebody to walk in and say,

hey dude, you wanna play Ultimate frisbee?

No, you need to look

at maybe your campus' activities directory

or like a Meetup group in your city,

that actually meets for Ultimate frisbee.

Show up, and you're going to start meeting people

who are into that activity.

Now, if you're wondering

how to actually find these sorts of activities,

I do have a few suggestions for you.

One, look in your local community.

For example, I go to a gym

that's just a few blocks away from my apartment

and every single time I'm there,

I see bulletin boards veo tablones de anuncios

with advertisements for intermural sports con anuncios de deportes intermurales

and other groups that I could easily join

if I wanted to.

In addition to that, there are sites like meetup.com

which has hundreds, if not thousands of different groups

for all different types of interests

that are gonna be listed for your area.

So definitely check out that one.

And you could also look at Facebook.

Now, you should probably stay off the newsfeed on Facebook

if you don't wanna absolutely destroy your productivity,

but the Groups feature on Facebook

and the Events feature on Facebook,

these two are goldmines for finding events

where you could find potential friends.

And that leads us into tip number two,

don't be afraid to try new things.

You might be tempted to look at Meetup,

to look at Facebook,

and to only look at things you're already into.

But remember, the human brain is very good at adapting

and you don't know what you're going to like

until you try it.

So try something new.

For example, just this week,

I tried out rock climbing and mountain biking

for the first time.

And I found, no surprise,

that both of those things are extremely fun.

If I only stuck to skateboarding and rollerblading, Si solo me limitara a andar en patineta y patinar,

which are the things I did ever since I was a kid,

then I'd be limiting myself quite a bit. então eu estaria me limitando um pouco.

But I don't.

I actively try to do new things all the time

because I know that I'm probably gonna like them.

And even if I don't, I can just move on to something else.

Remember, the only thing you lose

if you try something out and end up not liking it

is say, an afternoon worth of your time. quer dizer, uma tarde que vale a pena do seu tempo.

Which isn't that bad of a price to pay.

Now, if you want a few activity suggestions,

I will reiterate, mountain biking and rock climbing

are both insanely fun

and if you live in a big city,

I'm starting to see dirt jump parks pop up Estoy empezando a ver aparecer parques de salto de tierra

for mountain biking.

So you don't even have to go out into the forest

and find a trail. y encontrar un rastro.

And there are also lots of climbing gyms.

And if you're looking for something a little less extreme,

a little less active,

one thing that I really enjoy doing

is playing Magic: The Gathering.

And most towns have a local game shop

that host events like Friday Night Magic,

and Commander Nights where you can show up,

play that game, and meets lots of new people.

Now, to reiterate, these are just ideas.

You don't have to go have a day of mountain biking,

climbing, and Magic: The Gathering.

If something else piques your interest,

go out and try it,

and you just might find a new hobby

and some new friends.

Now, that prospect is very exciting

but I do want to remind you,

tip number three here,

don't ignore proximity friends.

You know, proximity friends are the people

who live near you. que moram perto de você.

And you had lot of these when you were a kid, right?

You kinda went out into the neighborhood

and just played with whoever happened to be near you.

And this is probably also the case for school and college.

And when people get to be adults,

I think they kinda forget that proximity-based friendships

can actually be very good.

They're only looking for the meetups.

They're only looking for people

who share their current interest.

But the thing about proximity-based friendships

is that these are friendships with people

who might expand your horizons

because they like different things than you like.

Keep in mind that you don't have to have

the exact same set of interests

to be friends with somebody.

And a great analogy for this

is your relationship if you have one.

I've been with my girlfriend for six years

and while we do share certain interests,

we also have a lot of interests

that the other person doesn't really like

but that doesn't stop us from being great friends

in addition to being in a relationship.

So wherever you live, if you find the opportunity

to strike up a conversation with a neighbor, para entablar una conversación con un vecino,

take that opportunity.

That could just as easily lead to a friendship

as an interest-based Meetup group.

All right, so I've given you a few places

where you can go out and meet new people.

But that leaves one questions unanswered,

which is how do you actually break the ice?

How do you get those conversations going

that actually lead to friendships?

Well, that is what the next few tips are going to cover,

including tip number four,

which is to use the three second rule,

and now that I'm thinking about it,

I kinda wish I'd made that tip number three, Eu meio que gostaria de ter dado a dica número três,

but too late now.

So here's the crux of the three second rule.

If you're at an event

and you see somebody who you want to talk to,

decide within three seconds decida em três segundos

whether or not your going to actually walk up se você vai ou não realmente subir

and strike up a conversation.

If you wait any longer than that,

your brain's going to start concocting all sorts of reasons

why you shouldn't, right?

You're gonna think they look busy,

or you're gonna look silly,

and then you're gonna talk yourself out of doing it.

So instead, within the first three seconds, tell yourself,

either yes I'm gonna walk up and talk to that person,

or no, I'm going to walk away.

And then act on it.

And, on a related note, E, em uma nota relacionada,

work to become comfortable with the fact

that some conversations are simply going to fizzle out que algunas conversaciones simplemente se van a esfumar

or become awkward. o volverse incómodo.

This is probably the most common fear people have

about striking up conversations.

Deep down, we know that the other person

probably isn't going to walk away

or say something ridiculous like,

how dare you even think to talk to me,

Reginald Peevington Lancaster the Third.

Why, do you even know how far my family lineage

can be traced back, what what?

But what people are afraid of, realistically,

is the conversation fizzling out or getting awkward.

And truthfully, this is gonna happen sometimes.

It even happens to total extroverts.

Some people just don't click.

But if you can get over this fear

and become okay with the fact

that it's going to happen sometimes,

that's gonna lead to more interactions

which makes it more likely that you're gonna meet people

who you actually do click with.

And finally, if you wanna keep your conversations going,

then make sure you take an interest in the other person

and ask a lot of questions.

This is a tip for all the people out there

who don't really know what to say

in conversations with new people.

They know they can come up and say hi,

and then they can talk about the weather, if they want,

but then, again, they're afraid of things fizzling out.

If you don't want them to fizzle out,

well, maybe the other person will ask you a question

and then you're kinda off the hook.

But a lot of times they're not gonna do that,

so you have to be the person to ask the first question.

Now I know what you're asking yourself,

Tom, what do I ask them about?

Do I ask them about where they got their shoelaces from? ¿Les pregunto de dónde sacaron los cordones de sus zapatos?

Or like how many hairs are on their head?

No, you use the context of the situation

for your initial questions.

And here's a great example.

Yesterday, I went to a dirt jump park here in Denver

with my mountain bike.

And I spent about an hour just jumping by myself,

but eventually, I saw other people jumping

and I wanted to strike up conversations with them.

So I started out my conversations by asking them,

hey, how long have you been coming to this park?

Or what other parks in Denver do you like going to?

I really wanna know where else I can go.

Or do you like to ride that's trail riding,

that's actual technical rock gardens and stuff like that? ¿Eso es jardines de roca técnicos reales y cosas por el estilo?

Or what kind of bike hardware are you running?

Why are you using a hard tail ¿Por qué estás usando una cola dura?

instead of a full suspension bike?

There are all kinds of questions

based around the context of the activity you're doing.

And again, this is another great reason

to go out and actually do active activity-based things

rather than just sitting around

and having casual friendships

based on really nothing

except for watching Netflix, I guess.

Having an activity that you're both participating in

gives you context for conversation.

Now, there is one final quote

that I wanna share with you here,

which is actually one of my personal favorites.

And it comes from the film critic, Gene Youngblood.

An interested person is an interesting person.

Whenever I hear this quote,

I think of the concept of a Renaissance Man.

Or heck, a Renaissance Woman. O diablos, una mujer del Renacimiento.

Somebody who knows a lot about lots of different topics

so they can strike up conversations with anybody.

And I'm always reminded of the scene

from one of my favorite movies, Limitless,

where Eddie's at this party,

and he's talking to all these different groups of people

and no matter who he talks to,

he's able to converse intelligently with them.

That's the kind of person that I have always wanted to be.

And I'd bet that you would say the exact same thing.

And if you wanna be that kind of a person,

well, the only way you're going to do it

is by intaking information es tomando información

from a huge variety of different sources regularly.

And one of my favorite ways to do that

is by listening to audiobooks.

I love audiobooks

because they let me learn while I'm cooking

or I'm riding my bike,

or finally folding my laundry o finalmente doblando mi ropa

after leaving it in the dryer for three days.

They're just a great way to intake information

while I'm doing things

that don't require a ton of my attention.

And if you're looking for a great place to find audiobooks,

the best place in the world to get them is Audible.

Audible has an unmatched library of audiobook titles

in a ton of different genres.

They've got all the bestsellers

and lots of obscure books. y un montón de libros oscuros.

So whatever is on your to-be-read list,

whatever is gunking up your good reads, lo que sea que esté arruinando tus buenas lecturas,

they probably have it for you.

And Audible's membership

has a ton of great features as well,

including the fact that if you don't like a book

that you get with your credits, or that you buy,

you can return it and exchange it for another book

with no questions asked.

And one of the best things about Audible

is that you can get a free 30-day trial

and a free audiobook download of your choosing

by going over to audible.com/thomas

or texting Thomas on your phone to 500500.

Now you guys probably know by now

that I always recommend a book in these Audible spots

and I am very excited for the book recommendation

I have for you guys this week

because, spoilers,

it is my own book.

Yes, 10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades

is now an official audiobook

and it is read by yours truly,

and what's best,

as I said, just a couple of seconds ago,

you can get it absolutely free

by going over to audible.com/thomas

or texting Thomas to 500500 on your phone.

You can get that book,

or again, you can get any other book of your choosing.

Anyway, I wanna give a big thanks to Audible

for sponsoring this video

and being a supporter of this channel.

And as always, thank you guys so much for watching.

Thank you for so much support over the years.

Thank you for everything, basically.

If you enjoyed this video,

you can hit that like,

and I'll thank you for that as well.

You can also subscribe right there

if you wanna get new videos every single week

when they come out.

Also, you can get a free E-book copy of my book

10 Steps to Earning Awesome Grades

by clicking right there.

Or you can get the free audiobook with Audible.

Description link below

or you can get one more video on this channel

by clicking right over here.

Thank you guys so much for watching,

don't forget to come back in three days

for the follow-up to this video

on how to build stronger friendships.

And until then, stay cute. Y hasta entonces, mantente lindo.