×

Usamos cookies para ayudar a mejorar LingQ. Al visitar este sitio, aceptas nuestras politicas de cookie.


image

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë, CHAPTER IV

CHAPTER IV

From my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference between Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,—I desired and waited it in silence.

It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded. Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take my meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins were constantly in the drawing-room. Not a hint, however, did she drop about sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion.

Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw me, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against him, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran from me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose.

I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama. I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how “that nasty Jane Eyre” had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather harshly—

“Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her.” Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my words—

“They are not fit to associate with me.”

Mrs.

Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and audacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib, dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day.

“What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?” was my scarcely voluntary demand.

I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no control.

“What?” said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm, and gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or fiend.

I was now in for it.

“My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you wish me dead.”

Mrs.

Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed both my ears, and then left me without a word. Bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof. I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging in my breast.

November, December, and half of January passed away.

Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer; presents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given. From every enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and afterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played below, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed. When tired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the solitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not miserable. To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company, for in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind and companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen. But Bessie, as soon as she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing the candle along with her. I then sat with my doll on my knee till the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull red, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might, and sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib. To this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth of worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature scarecrow. It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of sensation. I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and when it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it to be happy likewise.

Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she would come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or perhaps to bring me something by way of supper—a bun or a cheese-cake—then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had finished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me, and said, “Good night, Miss Jane.” When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me the best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most intensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never push me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often wont to do. Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural capacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of narrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her nursery tales. She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and person are correct. I remember her as a slim young woman, with black hair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she had a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or justice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at Gateshead Hall.

It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning: Bessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned to their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go and feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less so of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she thus obtained. She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for saving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and slips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of his young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and Eliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a handsome profit thereby. As to her money, she first secreted it in odd corners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards having been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing her valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious rate of interest—fifty or sixty per cent. ; which interest she exacted every quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy.

Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of which she had found a store in a drawer in the attic.

I was making my bed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before she returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-nurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c. ). Having spread the quilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in order some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an abrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny chairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped my proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to breathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and thus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the grounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost. From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road, and just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling the panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a carriage roll through. I watched it ascending the drive with indifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought visitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the door-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted. All this being nothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement. The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and having crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery.

“Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there?

Have you washed your hands and face this morning?” I gave another tug before I answered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash yielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the cherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied—

“No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.”

“Troublesome, careless child!

and what are you doing now? You look quite red, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the window for?”

I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a hurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand, inflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with soap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly brush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the stairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room.

I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was there; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon me.

I slowly descended. For nearly three months, I had never been called to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the breakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on which it dismayed me to intrude. I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and I stopped, intimidated and trembling.

What a miserable little poltroon had fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days! I feared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour; ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the breakfast-room bell decided me; I must enter.

“Who could want me?” I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the stiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts.

“What should I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?—a man or a woman?” The handle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low, I looked up at—a black pillar!—such, at least, appeared to me, at first sight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug: the grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft by way of capital.

Mrs.

Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to me to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger with the words: “This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to you.”

He , for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and having examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice, “Her size is small: what is her age?”

“Ten years.”

“So much?” was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes.

Presently he addressed me—“Your name, little girl?”

“Jane Eyre, sir.”

In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman; but then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and prim.

“Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?”

Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a contrary opinion: I was silent.

Mrs. Reed answered for me by an expressive shake of the head, adding soon, “Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst.”

“Sorry indeed to hear it!

she and I must have some talk;” and bending from the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite Mrs. Reed's. “Come here,” he said.

I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him.

What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine! what a great nose! and what a mouth! and what large prominent teeth!

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl.

Do you know where the wicked go after death?”

“They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer.

“And what is hell?

Can you tell me that?”

“A pit full of fire.”

“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?”

“No, sir.”

“What must you do to avoid it?”

I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: “I must keep in good health, and not die.”

“How can you keep in good health?

Children younger than you die daily. I buried a little child of five years old only a day or two since,—a good little child, whose soul is now in heaven. It is to be feared the same could not be said of you were you to be called hence.”

Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on the two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far enough away.

“I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.”

“Benefactress!

benefactress!” said I inwardly: “they all call Mrs. Reed my benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.”

“Do you say your prayers night and morning?” continued my interrogator.

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you read your Bible?”

“Sometimes.”

“With pleasure?

Are you fond of it?”

“I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and a little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job and Jonah.”

“And the Psalms?

I hope you like them?”

“No, sir.”

“No?

oh, shocking! I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: ‘Oh! the verse of a Psalm! angels sing Psalms;' says he, ‘I wish to be a little angel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety.” “Psalms are not interesting,” I remarked.

“That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change it: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.”

I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that operation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed interposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the conversation herself.

“Mr.

Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to you three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character and disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I should be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a tendency to deceit. I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may not attempt to impose on Mr. Brocklehurst.”

Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature to wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully I obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above.

Now, uttered before a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived that she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed the feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future path; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an artful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury? “Nothing, indeed,” thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and hastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish.

“Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,” said Mr. Brocklehurst; “it is akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake burning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs. Reed.

I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.”

“I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,” continued my benefactress; “to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for the vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at Lowood.”

“Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,” returned Mr. Brocklehurst.

“Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly appropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them. I have studied how best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the other day, I had a pleasing proof of my success. My second daughter, Augusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she exclaimed: ‘Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood look, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores, and those little holland pockets outside their frocks—they are almost like poor people's children! and,' said she, ‘they looked at my dress and mama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before. '” “This is the state of things I quite approve,” returned Mrs. Reed; “had I sought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more exactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre.

Consistency, my dear Mr. Brocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.”

“Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been observed in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood: plain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and active habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its inhabitants.”

“Quite right, sir.

I may then depend upon this child being received as a pupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position and prospects?”

“Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants, and I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege of her election.”

“I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I assure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming too irksome.”

“No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.

I shall return to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good friend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner. I shall send Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there will be no difficulty about receiving her. Good-bye.”

“Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst, and to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.”

“I will, madam.

Little girl, here is a book entitled the ‘Child's Guide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing ‘An account of the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit. '” With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn in a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed.

Mrs.

Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was sewing, I was watching her. Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or seven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and strong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat large face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow was low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently regular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her skin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was sound as a bell—illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever manager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control; her children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn; she dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off handsome attire.

Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her figure; I perused her features.

In my hand I held the tract containing the sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been pointed as to an appropriate warning. What had just passed; what Mrs. Reed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their conversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every word as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment fomented now within me.

Mrs.

Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers at the same time suspended their nimble movements.

“Go out of the room; return to the nursery,” was her mandate.

My look or something else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation. I got up, I went to the door; I came back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up to her.

Speak I must: I had been trodden on severely, and must turn: but how?

What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist? I gathered my energies and launched them in this blunt sentence—

“I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I do not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.”

Mrs.

Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice continued to dwell freezingly on mine. “What more have you to say?” she asked, rather in the tone in which a person might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily used to a child.

That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.

Shaking from head to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued—

“I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again as long as I live.

I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and if any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say the very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with miserable cruelty.”

“How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?”

“How dare I, Mrs. Reed?

How dare I? Because it is the truth . You think I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or kindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity. I shall remember how you thrust me back—roughly and violently thrust me back—into the red-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony; though I cried out, while suffocating with distress, ‘Have mercy! Have mercy, Aunt Reed! ' And that punishment you made me suffer because your wicked boy struck me—knocked me down for nothing. I will tell anybody who asks me questions, this exact tale. People think you a good woman, but you are bad, hard-hearted. You are deceitful!”

Ere I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with the strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt.

It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-for liberty. Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked frightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she would cry.

“Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you?

Why do you tremble so violently? Would you like to drink some water?”

“No, Mrs. Reed.”

“Is there anything else you wish for, Jane?

I assure you, I desire to be your friend.”

“Not you.

You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful disposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what you have done.” “Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for their faults.” “Deceit is not my fault!” I cried out in a savage, high voice.

“But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the nursery—there's a dear—and lie down a little.” “I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here.”

“I will indeed send her to school soon,” murmured Mrs. Reed sotto voce ; and gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment.

I was left there alone—winner of the field.

It was the hardest battle I had fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the rug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's solitude. First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce pleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses. A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction. A ridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a meet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same ridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have represented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's silence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness of my hated and hating position. Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned.

Willingly would I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly from experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her repulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature. I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation.

I took a book—some Arabian tales; I sat down and endeavoured to read. I could make no sense of the subject; my own thoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found fascinating. I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the shrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds. I covered my head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the falling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept by past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together. I leaned against a gate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where the short grass was nipped and blanched. It was a very grey day; a most opaque sky, “onding on snaw,” canopied all; thence flakes felt it intervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without melting. I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and over again, “What shall I do?—what shall I do?”

All at once I heard a clear voice call, “Miss Jane!

where are you? Come to lunch!”

It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step came tripping down the path.

“You naughty little thing!” she said.

“Why don't you come when you are called?” Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been brooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross. The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not disposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I was disposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart. I just put my two arms round her and said, “Come, Bessie! don't scold.” The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to indulge in: somehow it pleased her.

“You are a strange child, Miss Jane,” she said, as she looked down at me; “a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I suppose?”

I nodded.

“And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?” “What does Bessie care for me?

She is always scolding me.”

“Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing. You should be bolder.”

“What!

to get more knocks?”

“Nonsense!

But you are rather put upon, that's certain. My mother said, when she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one of her own to be in your place.—Now, come in, and I've some good news for you.” “I don't think you have, Bessie.” “Child!

what do you mean? What sorrowful eyes you fix on me! Well, but Missis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this afternoon, and you shall have tea with me. I'll ask cook to bake you a little cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I am soon to pack your trunk. Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a day or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.”

“Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.”

“Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of me. Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so provoking.” “I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I have got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to dread.” “If you dread them they'll dislike you.” “As you do, Bessie?”

“I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the others.” “You don't show it.” “You little sharp thing!

you've got quite a new way of talking. What makes you so venturesome and hardy?”

“Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides”—I was going to say something about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second thoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head.

“And so you're glad to leave me?” “Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.” “Just now!

and rather! How coolly my little lady says it! I dare say now if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say you'd rather not.” “I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.” Bessie stooped; we mutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted. That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie told me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her sweetest songs. Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine.

CHAPTER IV CAPÍTULO IV CHAPITRE IV 第四章 ГЛАВА IV

From my discourse with Mr. Lloyd, and from the above reported conference between Bessie and Abbot, I gathered enough of hope to suffice as a motive for wishing to get well: a change seemed near,—I desired and waited it in silence. De mon discours avec M. Lloyd, et de la conférence rapportée ci-dessus entre Bessie et Abbot, j'ai recueilli assez d'espoir pour suffire comme motif de vouloir guérir: un changement semblait proche, - je l'ai désiré et attendu en silence.

It tarried, however: days and weeks passed: I had regained my normal state of health, but no new allusion was made to the subject over which I brooded. Mrs. Reed surveyed me at times with a severe eye, but seldom addressed me: since my illness, she had drawn a more marked line of separation than ever between me and her own children; appointing me a small closet to sleep in by myself, condemning me to take my meals alone, and pass all my time in the nursery, while my cousins were constantly in the drawing-room. Not a hint, however, did she drop about sending me to school: still I felt an instinctive certainty that she would not long endure me under the same roof with her; for her glance, now more than ever, when turned on me, expressed an insuperable and rooted aversion.

Eliza and Georgiana, evidently acting according to orders, spoke to me as little as possible: John thrust his tongue in his cheek whenever he saw me, and once attempted chastisement; but as I instantly turned against him, roused by the same sentiment of deep ire and desperate revolt which had stirred my corruption before, he thought it better to desist, and ran from me tittering execrations, and vowing I had burst his nose. Eliza et Georgiana, agissant manifestement selon les ordres reçus, me parlaient le moins possible : John se mettait la langue dans la joue chaque fois qu'il me voyait et tenta une fois de me châtier ; mais comme je me retournais instantanément contre lui, poussé par le même sentiment de profonde colère et de révolte désespérée qui avait excité ma corruption auparavant, il jugea préférable de se désister et s'éloigna de moi en maugréant des injures et en jurant que je lui avais éclaté le nez.

I had indeed levelled at that prominent feature as hard a blow as my knuckles could inflict; and when I saw that either that or my look daunted him, I had the greatest inclination to follow up my advantage to purpose; but he was already with his mama. Ich hatte mich tatsächlich auf dieses herausragende Merkmal eingestellt, so hart mein Schlag war, wie es meine Knöchel zufügen konnten; und als ich sah, dass entweder das oder mein Blick ihn entmutigte, hatte ich die größte Neigung, meinen Vorteil zum Zweck zu verfolgen; aber er war schon bei seiner mama. J'avais en effet nivelé sur cette caractéristique proéminente un coup aussi dur que mes doigts pouvaient infliger; et quand j'ai vu que cela ou mon regard le décourageait, j'avais la plus grande inclination à suivre mon avantage au but; mais il était déjà avec sa maman. I heard him in a blubbering tone commence the tale of how “that nasty Jane Eyre” had flown at him like a mad cat: he was stopped rather harshly— Ich hörte ihn in einem blubbernden Ton die Geschichte beginnen, wie "diese böse Jane Eyre" wie eine verrückte Katze auf ihn geflogen war: Er wurde ziemlich hart gestoppt - Je l'ai entendu, d'un ton larmoyant, commencer le récit de la façon dont "cette méchante Jane Eyre" s'était jetée sur lui comme un chat enragé : on l'a interrompu assez durement...

“Don't talk to me about her, John: I told you not to go near her; she is not worthy of notice; I do not choose that either you or your sisters should associate with her.” "Ne me parle pas d'elle, John : je t'ai dit de ne pas t'en approcher ; elle n'est pas digne d'intérêt ; je ne veux pas que toi ou tes soeurs la fréquentiez. Here, leaning over the banister, I cried out suddenly, and without at all deliberating on my words— Hier beugte ich mich über das Geländer und schrie plötzlich und ohne über meine Worte nachzudenken - Ici, penché au-dessus de la rampe, j'ai poussé un cri soudain, et sans rien délibérer sur mes paroles:

“They are not fit to associate with me.” "Ils ne sont pas dignes de s'associer à moi."

Mrs.

Reed was rather a stout woman; but, on hearing this strange and audacious declaration, she ran nimbly up the stair, swept me like a whirlwind into the nursery, and crushing me down on the edge of my crib, dared me in an emphatic voice to rise from that place, or utter one syllable during the remainder of the day. Reed war eher eine kräftige Frau; Aber als sie diese seltsame und kühne Erklärung hörte, rannte sie flink die Treppe hinauf, fegte mich wie einen Wirbelwind in den Kindergarten und drückte mich auf den Rand meiner Krippe, wagte es mir mit nachdrücklicher Stimme, mich von diesem Ort zu erheben, oder sprechen Sie den Rest des Tages eine Silbe aus. Reed était plutôt une femme robuste; mais, en entendant cette déclaration étrange et audacieuse, elle a couru agilement dans l'escalier, m'a entraîné comme un tourbillon dans la chambre d'enfant, et m'écrasant sur le bord de ma crèche, m'a défié d'une voix emphatique de me lever de cet endroit, ou prononcez une syllabe pendant le reste de la journée.

“What would Uncle Reed say to you, if he were alive?” was my scarcely voluntary demand. «Que te dirait l'oncle Reed, s'il était vivant? était ma demande à peine volontaire.

I say scarcely voluntary, for it seemed as if my tongue pronounced words without my will consenting to their utterance: something spoke out of me over which I had no control. Je dis à peine volontaire, car il me semblait que ma langue prononçait des mots sans que ma volonté ne consentît à les prononcer: quelque chose parlait de moi sur lequel je n'avais aucun contrôle.

“What?” said Mrs. Reed under her breath: her usually cold composed grey eye became troubled with a look like fear; she took her hand from my arm, and gazed at me as if she really did not know whether I were child or fiend. "Quoi?" dit Mme Reed dans sa barbe: son œil gris habituellement composé de froid devint troublé par un air de peur; elle prit sa main de mon bras et me regarda comme si elle ne savait vraiment pas si j'étais enfant ou démon.

I was now in for it. J'étais maintenant dans le coup.

“My Uncle Reed is in heaven, and can see all you do and think; and so can papa and mama: they know how you shut me up all day long, and how you wish me dead.” "Mon oncle Reed est au ciel et peut voir tout ce que vous faites et pensez ; papa et maman aussi : ils savent que vous m'enfermez toute la journée et que vous souhaitez ma mort.

Mrs.

Reed soon rallied her spirits: she shook me most soundly, she boxed both my ears, and then left me without a word. Reed sammelte bald ihre Stimmung: Sie schüttelte mich am stärksten, sie boxte meine beiden Ohren und ließ mich dann ohne ein Wort zurück. Reed ne tarda pas à reprendre ses esprits : elle me secoua très fort, me boxa les deux oreilles, puis me quitta sans un mot. Bessie supplied the hiatus by a homily of an hour's length, in which she proved beyond a doubt that I was the most wicked and abandoned child ever reared under a roof. Bessie versorgte die Pause mit einer einstündigen Predigt, in der sie zweifelsohne bewies, dass ich das böseste und verlassenste Kind war, das jemals unter einem Dach aufgezogen wurde. Bessie suppléa à la pause par une homélie d'une heure, dans laquelle elle prouva hors de tout doute que j'étais l'enfant le plus méchant et le plus abandonné jamais élevé sous un toit. I half believed her; for I felt indeed only bad feelings surging in my breast. Je la croyais à moitié; car je n'éprouvais en effet que de mauvais sentiments dans ma poitrine.

November, December, and half of January passed away. Novembre, décembre et la moitié de janvier sont décédés.

Christmas and the New Year had been celebrated at Gateshead with the usual festive cheer; presents had been interchanged, dinners and evening parties given. Noël et le Nouvel An avaient été célébrés à Gateshead avec l'acclamation habituelle des fêtes ; des cadeaux avaient été échangés, des dîners et des soirées donnés. From every enjoyment I was, of course, excluded: my share of the gaiety consisted in witnessing the daily apparelling of Eliza and Georgiana, and seeing them descend to the drawing-room, dressed out in thin muslin frocks and scarlet sashes, with hair elaborately ringletted; and afterwards, in listening to the sound of the piano or the harp played below, to the passing to and fro of the butler and footman, to the jingling of glass and china as refreshments were handed, to the broken hum of conversation as the drawing-room door opened and closed. J'étais, bien sûr, exclu de tout plaisir : ma part de gaieté consistait à assister à l'habillement quotidien d'Eliza et de Georgiana, et à les voir descendre au salon, vêtues de robes de mousseline fines et de ceintures écarlates, avec des cheveux minutieusement ringletté; et ensuite, en écoutant le son du piano ou de la harpe jouée en dessous, le va-et-vient du majordome et du valet de pied, le tintement du verre et de la porcelaine pendant que les rafraîchissements étaient remis, le bourdonnement interrompu de la conversation pendant que le dessin -porte de la chambre ouverte et fermée. When tired of this occupation, I would retire from the stairhead to the solitary and silent nursery: there, though somewhat sad, I was not miserable. Fatigué de cette occupation, je me retirais de la tête d'escalier pour la crèche solitaire et silencieuse: là, quoique un peu triste, je n'étais pas misérable. To speak truth, I had not the least wish to go into company, for in company I was very rarely noticed; and if Bessie had but been kind and companionable, I should have deemed it a treat to spend the evenings quietly with her, instead of passing them under the formidable eye of Mrs. Reed, in a room full of ladies and gentlemen. A vrai dire, je n'avais pas le moindre désir de me mettre en compagnie, car en compagnie, j'étais très rarement remarqué; et si Bessie n'avait été que gentille et aimable, j'aurais jugé bon de passer les soirées tranquillement avec elle, au lieu de les passer sous l'œil formidable de Mme Reed, dans une salle pleine de dames et de messieurs. But Bessie, as soon as she had dressed her young ladies, used to take herself off to the lively regions of the kitchen and housekeeper's room, generally bearing the candle along with her. Mais Bessie, dès qu'elle avait habillé ses demoiselles, avait l'habitude de s'enfuir dans les régions animées de la cuisine et de la chambre de la gouvernante, portant généralement la bougie avec elle. I then sat with my doll on my knee till the fire got low, glancing round occasionally to make sure that nothing worse than myself haunted the shadowy room; and when the embers sank to a dull red, I undressed hastily, tugging at knots and strings as I best might, and sought shelter from cold and darkness in my crib. Je me suis alors assis avec ma poupée sur mes genoux jusqu'à ce que le feu soit bas, jetant un coup d'œil autour de temps en temps pour m'assurer que rien de pire que moi ne hantait la pièce sombre; et quand les braises sont devenues d'un rouge terne, je me suis déshabillée à la hâte, tirant sur les nœuds et les ficelles de mon mieux, et j'ai cherché un abri du froid et de l'obscurité dans mon berceau. To this crib I always took my doll; human beings must love something, and, in the dearth of worthier objects of affection, I contrived to find a pleasure in loving and cherishing a faded graven image, shabby as a miniature scarecrow. Dans ce berceau, j'ai toujours pris ma poupée; les êtres humains doivent aimer quelque chose, et, faute d'objets plus dignes d'affection, je me suis arrangé pour trouver un plaisir à aimer et à chérir une image taillée fanée, minable comme un épouvantail miniature. It puzzles me now to remember with what absurd sincerity I doated on this little toy, half fancying it alive and capable of sensation. Cela me laisse maintenant perplexe de me rappeler avec quelle absurde sincérité j'ai fait sur ce petit jouet, à moitié le croyant vivant et capable de sensation. I could not sleep unless it was folded in my night-gown; and when it lay there safe and warm, I was comparatively happy, believing it to be happy likewise. Je ne pouvais dormir que si elle était repliée dans ma chemise de nuit; et quand il était là sain et sauf, j'étais relativement heureux, le croyant heureux également.

Long did the hours seem while I waited the departure of the company, and listened for the sound of Bessie's step on the stairs: sometimes she would come up in the interval to seek her thimble or her scissors, or perhaps to bring me something by way of supper—a bun or a cheese-cake—then she would sit on the bed while I ate it, and when I had finished, she would tuck the clothes round me, and twice she kissed me, and said, “Good night, Miss Jane.”  When thus gentle, Bessie seemed to me the best, prettiest, kindest being in the world; and I wished most intensely that she would always be so pleasant and amiable, and never push me about, or scold, or task me unreasonably, as she was too often wont to do. Les heures semblaient longues pendant que j'attendais le départ de la compagnie, et écoutais le bruit du pas de Bessie dans l'escalier: parfois elle montait dans l'intervalle pour chercher son dé ou ses ciseaux, ou peut-être pour m'apporter quelque chose en chemin du souper - un petit pain ou un gâteau au fromage - puis elle s'asseyait sur le lit pendant que je le mangeais, et quand j'aurais fini, elle rentrait les vêtements autour de moi, et deux fois elle m'embrassait et me disait: «Bonne nuit, Mlle Jane. » Lorsqu'elle était si douce, Bessie me parut être le meilleur, le plus joli, le plus gentil du monde; et je souhaitais très vivement qu'elle soit toujours aussi agréable et aimable, et ne me bouscule pas, ne me gronde ou ne me charge pas de manière déraisonnable, comme elle avait trop souvent l'habitude de le faire. Bessie Lee must, I think, have been a girl of good natural capacity, for she was smart in all she did, and had a remarkable knack of narrative; so, at least, I judge from the impression made on me by her nursery tales. Bessie Lee a dû, je pense, être une fille de bonne capacité naturelle, car elle était intelligente dans tout ce qu'elle faisait et avait un talent remarquable pour la narration; du moins, je juge d'après l'impression que m'ont faite ses contes de crèche. She was pretty too, if my recollections of her face and person are correct. I remember her as a slim young woman, with black hair, dark eyes, very nice features, and good, clear complexion; but she had a capricious and hasty temper, and indifferent ideas of principle or justice: still, such as she was, I preferred her to any one else at Gateshead Hall. Je me souviens d'elle comme d'une jeune femme mince, avec des cheveux noirs, des yeux foncés, de très beaux traits et un beau teint clair; mais elle avait un tempérament capricieux et hâtif, et des idées indifférentes de principe ou de justice: encore, telle qu'elle était, je la préférais à toute autre à Gateshead Hall.

It was the fifteenth of January, about nine o'clock in the morning: Bessie was gone down to breakfast; my cousins had not yet been summoned to their mama; Eliza was putting on her bonnet and warm garden-coat to go and feed her poultry, an occupation of which she was fond: and not less so of selling the eggs to the housekeeper and hoarding up the money she thus obtained. C'était le 15 janvier, vers neuf heures du matin: Bessie était descendue déjeuner; mes cousins n'avaient pas encore été convoqués chez leur maman; Eliza mettait son bonnet et son manteau de jardin chaud pour aller nourrir sa volaille, métier qu'elle aimait: et non moins vendre les œufs à la femme de ménage et accumuler l'argent qu'elle obtenait ainsi. She had a turn for traffic, and a marked propensity for saving; shown not only in the vending of eggs and chickens, but also in driving hard bargains with the gardener about flower-roots, seeds, and slips of plants; that functionary having orders from Mrs. Reed to buy of his young lady all the products of her parterre she wished to sell: and Eliza would have sold the hair off her head if she could have made a handsome profit thereby. Elle avait un tour pour le trafic et une propension marquée à épargner; montré non seulement dans la vente d'œufs et de poulets, mais aussi dans des négociations difficiles avec le jardinier sur les racines des fleurs, les graines et les boutures de plantes; ce fonctionnaire ayant ordre de Mme Reed d'acheter à sa demoiselle tous les produits de son parterre qu'elle voulait vendre: et Eliza aurait vendu les cheveux de sa tête si elle avait pu faire un beau profit. As to her money, she first secreted it in odd corners, wrapped in a rag or an old curl-paper; but some of these hoards having been discovered by the housemaid, Eliza, fearful of one day losing her valued treasure, consented to intrust it to her mother, at a usurious rate of interest—fifty or sixty per cent. Quant à son argent, elle le sécrétait d'abord dans des coins bizarres, enveloppé dans un chiffon ou un vieux papier frisé; mais quelques-uns de ces trésors ayant été découverts par la femme de chambre, Eliza, craignant de perdre un jour son précieux trésor, consentit à le confier à sa mère, à un taux d'intérêt usuraire, cinquante ou soixante pour cent. ; which interest she exacted every quarter, keeping her accounts in a little book with anxious accuracy. ; quel intérêt elle exigeait chaque trimestre, tenant ses comptes dans un petit livre avec une précision anxieuse.

Georgiana sat on a high stool, dressing her hair at the glass, and interweaving her curls with artificial flowers and faded feathers, of which she had found a store in a drawer in the attic. Georgiana était assise sur un tabouret haut, coiffant ses cheveux au verre et entrelacant ses boucles avec des fleurs artificielles et des plumes fanées, dont elle avait trouvé un magasin dans un tiroir du grenier.

I was making my bed, having received strict orders from Bessie to get it arranged before she returned (for Bessie now frequently employed me as a sort of under-nurserymaid, to tidy the room, dust the chairs, &c. Je faisais mon lit, ayant reçu des ordres stricts de Bessie pour le faire arranger avant son retour (car Bessie m'employait maintenant fréquemment comme une sorte de sous-nourrice, pour ranger la chambre, épousseter les chaises, etc. ). Having spread the quilt and folded my night-dress, I went to the window-seat to put in order some picture-books and doll's house furniture scattered there; an abrupt command from Georgiana to let her playthings alone (for the tiny chairs and mirrors, the fairy plates and cups, were her property) stopped my proceedings; and then, for lack of other occupation, I fell to breathing on the frost-flowers with which the window was fretted, and thus clearing a space in the glass through which I might look out on the grounds, where all was still and petrified under the influence of a hard frost. Après avoir étalé l'édredon et plié ma robe de nuit, je me dirigeai vers la banquette de la fenêtre pour mettre en ordre quelques livres d'images et des meubles de maison de poupées éparpillés; un ordre brusque de Georgiana de laisser ses jouets seuls (car les minuscules chaises et miroirs, les assiettes et les tasses de fées étaient sa propriété) a arrêté mes démarches; et puis, faute d'autre occupation, je me suis mis à respirer sur les fleurs de givre dont la fenêtre était frottée, et dégageant ainsi un espace dans la vitre à travers lequel je pouvais regarder le parc, où tout était immobile et pétrifié sous l'influence d'un gel dur. From this window were visible the porter's lodge and the carriage-road, and just as I had dissolved so much of the silver-white foliage veiling the panes as left room to look out, I saw the gates thrown open and a carriage roll through. De cette fenêtre étaient visibles la loge du portier et la route carrossable, et juste au moment où j'avais dissous une si grande partie du feuillage blanc argenté voilant les vitres pour laisser de la place pour regarder dehors, je vis les portes ouvertes et une voiture rouler. I watched it ascending the drive with indifference; carriages often came to Gateshead, but none ever brought visitors in whom I was interested; it stopped in front of the house, the door-bell rang loudly, the new-comer was admitted. Je l'ai regardé monter l'allée avec indifférence ; des calèches venaient souvent à Gateshead, mais aucune n'amenait jamais de visiteurs qui m'intéressaient ; il s'arrêta devant la maison, la sonnette retentit fort, le nouveau venu fut admis. All this being nothing to me, my vacant attention soon found livelier attraction in the spectacle of a little hungry robin, which came and chirruped on the twigs of the leafless cherry-tree nailed against the wall near the casement. Tout cela n'étant rien pour moi, mon attention vacante trouva bientôt une attirance plus vive dans le spectacle d'un petit rouge-gorge affamé, qui vint gazouiller sur les brindilles du cerisier sans feuilles clouées contre le mur près du battant. The remains of my breakfast of bread and milk stood on the table, and having crumbled a morsel of roll, I was tugging at the sash to put out the crumbs on the window-sill, when Bessie came running upstairs into the nursery. Les restes de mon petit-déjeuner de pain et de lait se tenaient sur la table, et après avoir émietté un morceau de pain, je tirais sur l'ouvrant pour étendre les miettes sur le rebord de la fenêtre, quand Bessie monta en courant dans la chambre d'enfant.

“Miss Jane, take off your pinafore; what are you doing there? « Mademoiselle Jane, enlevez votre chasuble ; Que faites vous ici?

Have you washed your hands and face this morning?”  I gave another tug before I answered, for I wanted the bird to be secure of its bread: the sash yielded; I scattered the crumbs, some on the stone sill, some on the cherry-tree bough, then, closing the window, I replied— Vous êtes-vous lavé les mains et le visage ce matin? J'ai donné une autre traction avant de répondre, car je voulais que l'oiseau soit sûr de son pain: la ceinture céda; J'ai dispersé les miettes, certaines sur le rebord de pierre, d'autres sur la branche de cerisier, puis, en fermant la fenêtre, j'ai répondu:

“No, Bessie; I have only just finished dusting.” « Non, Bessie ; Je viens juste de finir de dépoussiérer.

“Troublesome, careless child! « Enfant gênant et insouciant !

and what are you doing now? et que faites-vous maintenant? You look quite red, as if you had been about some mischief: what were you opening the window for?” Tu as l'air assez rouge, comme si tu avais fait un mal: pourquoi ouvrais-tu la fenêtre?

I was spared the trouble of answering, for Bessie seemed in too great a hurry to listen to explanations; she hauled me to the washstand, inflicted a merciless, but happily brief scrub on my face and hands with soap, water, and a coarse towel; disciplined my head with a bristly brush, denuded me of my pinafore, and then hurrying me to the top of the stairs, bid me go down directly, as I was wanted in the breakfast-room. Je n'avais pas la peine de répondre, car Bessie semblait trop pressée d'écouter les explications; elle me traîna vers le lavabo, m'infligea un gommage impitoyable mais heureusement bref sur le visage et les mains avec du savon, de l'eau et une serviette grossière; discipliné ma tête avec une brosse hérissée, me dépouillé de mon tablier, puis me précipitant en haut de l'escalier, me dit de descendre directement, comme on me voulait dans la salle du petit déjeuner.

I would have asked who wanted me: I would have demanded if Mrs. Reed was there; but Bessie was already gone, and had closed the nursery-door upon me. J'aurais demandé qui voulait de moi : j'aurais demandé si Mme Reed était là ; mais Bessie était déjà partie et m'avait fermé la porte de la pouponnière.

I slowly descended. Je descendis lentement. For nearly three months, I had never been called to Mrs. Reed's presence; restricted so long to the nursery, the breakfast, dining, and drawing-rooms were become for me awful regions, on which it dismayed me to intrude. Depuis près de trois mois, je n'avais jamais été appelé en présence de Mme Reed; restreint si longtemps à la crèche, le petit-déjeuner, la salle à manger et le salon étaient devenus pour moi des contrées affreuses, dans lesquelles il me consternait de m'immiscer. I now stood in the empty hall; before me was the breakfast-room door, and I stopped, intimidated and trembling. Je me tenais maintenant dans la salle vide; devant moi se trouvait la porte de la salle du petit-déjeuner, et je m'arrêtai, intimidée et tremblante.

What a miserable little poltroon had fear, engendered of unjust punishment, made of me in those days! Quel misérable petit poltron avait peur, engendré d'un châtiment injuste, fait de moi en ces jours! I feared to return to the nursery, and feared to go forward to the parlour; ten minutes I stood in agitated hesitation; the vehement ringing of the breakfast-room bell decided me; I must enter.

“Who could want me?” I asked inwardly, as with both hands I turned the stiff door-handle, which, for a second or two, resisted my efforts. « Qui pourrait me vouloir ? demandai-je intérieurement, tandis que je tournais des deux mains la poignée rigide de la porte qui, pendant une seconde ou deux, résista à mes efforts.

“What should I see besides Aunt Reed in the apartment?—a man or a woman?”  The handle turned, the door unclosed, and passing through and curtseying low, I looked up at—a black pillar!—such, at least, appeared to me, at first sight, the straight, narrow, sable-clad shape standing erect on the rug: the grim face at the top was like a carved mask, placed above the shaft by way of capital. «Que devrais-je voir à part tante Reed dans l'appartement? - un homme ou une femme? La poignée tourna, la porte ouverte, et passant à travers et faisant la révérence basse, je levai les yeux vers - un pilier noir! - tel, du moins, m'apparut, à première vue, la forme droite, étroite, vêtue de zibeline debout sur le tapis: le visage sinistre en haut était comme un masque sculpté, placé au-dessus du fût en guise de chapiteau.

Mrs.

Reed occupied her usual seat by the fireside; she made a signal to me to approach; I did so, and she introduced me to the stony stranger with the words: “This is the little girl respecting whom I applied to you.” Reed occupait son siège habituel au coin du feu; elle me fit signe de m'approcher; Je l'ai fait, et elle m'a présenté à l'étranger de pierre avec les mots: «C'est la petite fille respectueuse que je vous ai appliquée.

He , for it was a man, turned his head slowly towards where I stood, and having examined me with the two inquisitive-looking grey eyes which twinkled under a pair of bushy brows, said solemnly, and in a bass voice, “Her size is small: what is her age?”

“Ten years.”

“So much?” was the doubtful answer; and he prolonged his scrutiny for some minutes. "Tellement de?" était la réponse douteuse; et il a prolongé son examen pendant quelques minutes.

Presently he addressed me—“Your name, little girl?”

“Jane Eyre, sir.”

In uttering these words I looked up: he seemed to me a tall gentleman; but then I was very little; his features were large, and they and all the lines of his frame were equally harsh and prim. En prononçant ces mots, je levai les yeux: il me parut un grand gentleman; mais alors j'étais très petit; ses traits étaient grands, et eux et toutes les lignes de son corps étaient également durs et primitifs.

“Well, Jane Eyre, and are you a good child?” "Eh bien, Jane Eyre, et êtes-vous une bonne enfant?"

Impossible to reply to this in the affirmative: my little world held a contrary opinion: I was silent. Impossible de répondre par l'affirmative: mon petit monde avait une opinion contraire: je me taisais.

Mrs. Reed answered for me by an expressive shake of the head, adding soon, “Perhaps the less said on that subject the better, Mr. Brocklehurst.” Mme Reed a répondu pour moi par un hochement de tête expressif, ajoutant bientôt: «Peut-être que moins on en dit sur ce sujet, mieux c'est, M. Brocklehurst.

“Sorry indeed to hear it! «Désolé de l'entendre!

she and I must have some talk;” and bending from the perpendicular, he installed his person in the arm-chair opposite Mrs. Reed's. elle et moi devons avoir quelques discussions; et se penchant de la perpendiculaire, il installa sa personne dans le fauteuil en face de Mme Reed. “Come here,” he said.

I stepped across the rug; he placed me square and straight before him. J'ai traversé le tapis; il me plaça droit devant lui.

What a face he had, now that it was almost on a level with mine! Quel visage il avait, maintenant qu'il était presque au même niveau que le mien! what a great nose! and what a mouth! and what large prominent teeth!

“No sight so sad as that of a naughty child,” he began, “especially a naughty little girl. «Aucune vue aussi triste que celle d'un vilain enfant», commença-t-il, «surtout une vilaine petite fille.

Do you know where the wicked go after death?” Savez-vous où vont les méchants après leur mort ?"

“They go to hell,” was my ready and orthodox answer. "Ils vont en enfer", fut ma réponse prête et orthodoxe.

“And what is hell?

Can you tell me that?”

“A pit full of fire.”

“And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?” « Et voudriez-vous tomber dans cette fosse et y brûler pour toujours ?

“No, sir.”

“What must you do to avoid it?”

I deliberated a moment; my answer, when it did come, was objectionable: “I must keep in good health, and not die.” J'ai délibéré un moment; ma réponse, quand elle est venue, était contestable: «Je dois rester en bonne santé et ne pas mourir.»

“How can you keep in good health?

Children younger than you die daily. Des enfants plus jeunes que vous meurent chaque jour. I buried a little child of five years old only a day or two since,—a good little child, whose soul is now in heaven. J'ai enterré un petit enfant de cinq ans il y a seulement un jour ou deux, un bon petit enfant, dont l'âme est maintenant au ciel. It is to be feared the same could not be said of you were you to be called hence.” Il est à craindre que la même chose ne puisse être dite de vous si vous étiez appelé d'ici.

Not being in a condition to remove his doubt, I only cast my eyes down on the two large feet planted on the rug, and sighed, wishing myself far enough away. N'étant pas en état de dissiper son doute, je ne baissai les yeux que sur les deux grands pieds plantés sur le tapis, et soupirai en me souhaitant assez loin.

“I hope that sigh is from the heart, and that you repent of ever having been the occasion of discomfort to your excellent benefactress.” «J'espère que ce soupir vient du cœur et que vous vous repentez d'avoir jamais été l'occasion de malaise pour votre excellente bienfaitrice.

“Benefactress!

benefactress!” said I inwardly: “they all call Mrs. Reed my benefactress; if so, a benefactress is a disagreeable thing.” bienfaitrice !" dis-je intérieurement : "ils appellent tous Mrs. Reed ma bienfaitrice ; si c'est le cas, une bienfaitrice est une chose désagréable".

“Do you say your prayers night and morning?” continued my interrogator.

“Yes, sir.”

“Do you read your Bible?”

“Sometimes.”

“With pleasure?

Are you fond of it?”

“I like Revelations, and the book of Daniel, and Genesis and Samuel, and a little bit of Exodus, and some parts of Kings and Chronicles, and Job and Jonah.”

“And the Psalms?

I hope you like them?”

“No, sir.”

“No?

oh, shocking! ah choquant ! I have a little boy, younger than you, who knows six Psalms by heart: and when you ask him which he would rather have, a gingerbread-nut to eat or a verse of a Psalm to learn, he says: ‘Oh! J'ai un petit garçon, plus jeune que toi, qui connaît six psaumes par cœur : et quand tu lui demandes ce qu'il aimerait mieux manger, une noix de pain d'épice à manger ou un verset de psaume à apprendre, il dit : « Oh ! the verse of a Psalm! angels sing Psalms;' says he, ‘I wish to be a little angel here below;' he then gets two nuts in recompense for his infant piety.” les anges chantent des psaumes; dit-il, «je veux être un petit ange ici-bas»; il obtient alors deux noix en récompense pour sa piété infantile. “Psalms are not interesting,” I remarked.

“That proves you have a wicked heart; and you must pray to God to change it: to give you a new and clean one: to take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” «Cela prouve que vous avez un cœur mauvais; et vous devez prier Dieu de le changer: de vous en donner un nouveau et propre: de retirer votre cœur de pierre et de vous donner un cœur de chair.

I was about to propound a question, touching the manner in which that operation of changing my heart was to be performed, when Mrs. Reed interposed, telling me to sit down; she then proceeded to carry on the conversation herself. J'étais sur le point de proposer une question, touchant la manière dont cette opération de changer mon cœur devait être effectuée, lorsque Mme Reed s'est interposée, me disant de m'asseoir; elle a ensuite poursuivi la conversation elle-même.

“Mr.

Brocklehurst, I believe I intimated in the letter which I wrote to you three weeks ago, that this little girl has not quite the character and disposition I could wish: should you admit her into Lowood school, I should be glad if the superintendent and teachers were requested to keep a strict eye on her, and, above all, to guard against her worst fault, a tendency to deceit. Brocklehurst, je crois avoir laissé entendre dans la lettre que je vous ai écrite il y a trois semaines, que cette petite fille n'a pas tout à fait le caractère et la disposition que je pourrais souhaiter: si vous l'admettiez à l'école Lowood, je serais heureux si le directeur et les professeurs ont été priés de la surveiller de près, et surtout de se prémunir contre sa pire faute, une tendance à la tromperie. I mention this in your hearing, Jane, that you may not attempt to impose on Mr. Brocklehurst.” Je mentionne ceci lors de votre audience, Jane, que vous ne pouvez pas tenter d'imposer à M. Brocklehurst.

Well might I dread, well might I dislike Mrs. Reed; for it was her nature to wound me cruelly; never was I happy in her presence; however carefully I obeyed, however strenuously I strove to please her, my efforts were still repulsed and repaid by such sentences as the above. Eh bien, pourrais-je redouter, pourrais-je détester Mme Reed; car c'était sa nature de me blesser cruellement; je n'ai jamais été heureux en sa présence; si soigneusement j'obéissais, si énergiquement je m'efforçais de lui plaire, mes efforts étaient toujours repoussés et récompensés par des phrases comme celles ci-dessus.

Now, uttered before a stranger, the accusation cut me to the heart; I dimly perceived that she was already obliterating hope from the new phase of existence which she destined me to enter; I felt, though I could not have expressed the feeling, that she was sowing aversion and unkindness along my future path; I saw myself transformed under Mr. Brocklehurst's eye into an artful, noxious child, and what could I do to remedy the injury? Or, prononcée devant un inconnu, l'accusation m'a frappé au cœur; J'aperçus vaguement qu'elle effaçait déjà l'espoir de la nouvelle phase d'existence dans laquelle elle me destinait à entrer; Je sentais, bien que je n'aurais pas pu exprimer le sentiment, qu'elle semait l'aversion et la méchanceté sur mon chemin futur; Je me suis vu transformé sous les yeux de M. Brocklehurst en un enfant astucieux et nocif, et que pouvais-je faire pour remédier à la blessure? “Nothing, indeed,” thought I, as I struggled to repress a sob, and hastily wiped away some tears, the impotent evidences of my anguish. "Rien, en effet", pensai-je en m'efforçant de réprimer un sanglot et en essuyant à la hâte quelques larmes, preuves impuissantes de mon angoisse.

“Deceit is, indeed, a sad fault in a child,” said Mr. Brocklehurst; “it is akin to falsehood, and all liars will have their portion in the lake burning with fire and brimstone; she shall, however, be watched, Mrs. Reed. «La tromperie est, en effet, une triste faute chez un enfant», a déclaré M. Brocklehurst; «Cela s'apparente au mensonge, et tous les menteurs auront leur part dans le lac brûlant de feu et de soufre; elle doit cependant être surveillée, Mme Reed.

I will speak to Miss Temple and the teachers.”

“I should wish her to be brought up in a manner suiting her prospects,” continued my benefactress; “to be made useful, to be kept humble: as for the vacations, she will, with your permission, spend them always at Lowood.” «Je souhaiterais qu'elle soit élevée d'une manière qui convienne à ses perspectives, continua ma bienfaitrice; «Être rendu utile, être humble: quant aux vacances, elle les passera, avec votre permission, toujours à Lowood.

“Your decisions are perfectly judicious, madam,” returned Mr. Brocklehurst.

“Humility is a Christian grace, and one peculiarly appropriate to the pupils of Lowood; I, therefore, direct that especial care shall be bestowed on its cultivation amongst them. «L'humilité est une grâce chrétienne, et particulièrement appropriée aux élèves de Lowood; J'ordonne donc qu'un soin particulier soit accordé à sa culture parmi eux. I have studied how best to mortify in them the worldly sentiment of pride; and, only the other day, I had a pleasing proof of my success. J'ai étudié la meilleure façon de mortifier en eux le sentiment d'orgueil du monde; et, l'autre jour seulement, j'ai eu une bonne preuve de mon succès. My second daughter, Augusta, went with her mama to visit the school, and on her return she exclaimed: ‘Oh, dear papa, how quiet and plain all the girls at Lowood look, with their hair combed behind their ears, and their long pinafores, and those little holland pockets outside their frocks—they are almost like poor people's children! Ma deuxième fille, Augusta, est allée avec sa maman visiter l'école, et à son retour elle s'est exclamée: `` Oh, cher papa, comme toutes les filles de Lowood ont l'air calme et simple, avec leurs cheveux peignés derrière leurs oreilles, et leur longue des pinafores, et ces petites poches hollandaises devant leurs robes, elles sont presque comme les enfants des pauvres! and,' said she, ‘they looked at my dress and mama's, as if they had never seen a silk gown before. et, dit-elle, ils ont regardé ma robe et celle de maman, comme s'ils n'avaient jamais vu de robe de soie auparavant. '” “This is the state of things I quite approve,” returned Mrs. Reed; “had I sought all England over, I could scarcely have found a system more exactly fitting a child like Jane Eyre. «C'est l'état des choses que j'approuve tout à fait,» répondit Mme Reed; «Si j'avais cherché dans toute l'Angleterre, je n'aurais guère pu trouver un système plus adapté à un enfant comme Jane Eyre.

Consistency, my dear Mr. Brocklehurst; I advocate consistency in all things.” Cohérence, mon cher M. Brocklehurst; Je prône la cohérence en toutes choses. »

“Consistency, madam, is the first of Christian duties; and it has been observed in every arrangement connected with the establishment of Lowood: plain fare, simple attire, unsophisticated accommodations, hardy and active habits; such is the order of the day in the house and its inhabitants.” «La cohérence, madame, est le premier des devoirs chrétiens; et il a été observé dans tous les arrangements liés à l'établissement de Lowood: tarif ordinaire, tenue simple, logement non sophistiqué, habitudes robustes et actives; tel est l’ordre du jour dans la maison et ses habitants.

“Quite right, sir.

I may then depend upon this child being received as a pupil at Lowood, and there being trained in conformity to her position and prospects?” Je peux alors compter sur l'accueil de cette enfant comme élève à Lowood et sur une formation conforme à sa position et ses perspectives?

“Madam, you may: she shall be placed in that nursery of chosen plants, and I trust she will show herself grateful for the inestimable privilege of her election.” «Madame, vous pouvez: elle sera placée dans cette pépinière de plantes choisies, et j'espère qu'elle se montrera reconnaissante pour l'inestimable privilège de son élection.

“I will send her, then, as soon as possible, Mr. Brocklehurst; for, I assure you, I feel anxious to be relieved of a responsibility that was becoming too irksome.” «Je l'enverrai donc aussitôt que possible, M. Brocklehurst; car, je vous l’assure, j’ai hâte d’être déchargée d’une responsabilité qui devenait trop ennuyeuse.

“No doubt, no doubt, madam; and now I wish you good morning.

I shall return to Brocklehurst Hall in the course of a week or two: my good friend, the Archdeacon, will not permit me to leave him sooner. Je reviendrai à Brocklehurst Hall dans une semaine ou deux: mon bon ami, l'archidiacre, ne me permettra pas de le quitter plus tôt. I shall send Miss Temple notice that she is to expect a new girl, so that there will be no difficulty about receiving her. J'enverrai à Mlle Temple un avis qu'elle attend une nouvelle fille, afin qu'il n'y ait aucune difficulté à la recevoir. Good-bye.”

“Good-bye, Mr. Brocklehurst; remember me to Mrs. and Miss Brocklehurst, and to Augusta and Theodore, and Master Broughton Brocklehurst.” "Au revoir, M. Brocklehurst ; rappelez-moi Mme et Mlle Brocklehurst, Augusta et Théodore, ainsi que Master Broughton Brocklehurst."

“I will, madam.

Little girl, here is a book entitled the ‘Child's Guide,' read it with prayer, especially that part containing ‘An account of the awfully sudden death of Martha G---, a naughty child addicted to falsehood and deceit. Petite fille, voici un livre intitulé `` Guide de l'enfant '', lisez-le avec la prière, en particulier la partie contenant `` Un récit de la mort terriblement soudaine de Martha G ---, une vilaine enfant accro au mensonge et à la tromperie. '” With these words Mr. Brocklehurst put into my hand a thin pamphlet sewn in a cover, and having rung for his carriage, he departed. Sur ces mots, M. Brocklehurst me remit dans la main une fine brochure cousue dans une couverture, et ayant sonné pour sa voiture, il partit.

Mrs.

Reed and I were left alone: some minutes passed in silence; she was sewing, I was watching her. Mrs. Reed might be at that time some six or seven and thirty; she was a woman of robust frame, square-shouldered and strong-limbed, not tall, and, though stout, not obese: she had a somewhat large face, the under jaw being much developed and very solid; her brow was low, her chin large and prominent, mouth and nose sufficiently regular; under her light eyebrows glimmered an eye devoid of ruth; her skin was dark and opaque, her hair nearly flaxen; her constitution was sound as a bell—illness never came near her; she was an exact, clever manager; her household and tenantry were thoroughly under her control; her children only at times defied her authority and laughed it to scorn; she dressed well, and had a presence and port calculated to set off handsome attire. Mme Reed pouvait avoir à ce moment-là six ou sept heures trente; c'était une femme à la charpente robuste, aux épaules carrées et aux membres forts, pas grande et, quoique corpulente, pas obèse: elle avait un visage assez large, la mâchoire inférieure étant très développée et très solide; son front était bas, son menton large et proéminent, sa bouche et son nez suffisamment réguliers; sous ses sourcils clairs brillait un œil dépourvu de vérité; sa peau était foncée et opaque, ses cheveux presque de lin; sa constitution était sonnante comme une cloche - la maladie ne l'a jamais approchée; elle était une gestionnaire exacte et intelligente; sa maison et ses locataires étaient entièrement sous son contrôle; ses enfants ne défiaient parfois son autorité et en riaient que par mépris; elle s'habillait bien, et avait une présence et un port calculés pour mettre en valeur une belle tenue.

Sitting on a low stool, a few yards from her arm-chair, I examined her figure; I perused her features. Assis sur un tabouret bas, à quelques mètres de son fauteuil, j'examinai sa silhouette; J'ai parcouru ses traits.

In my hand I held the tract containing the sudden death of the Liar, to which narrative my attention had been pointed as to an appropriate warning. Dans ma main, je tenais le tract contenant la mort soudaine du menteur, sur lequel mon attention avait été attirée sur un avertissement approprié. What had just passed; what Mrs. Reed had said concerning me to Mr. Brocklehurst; the whole tenor of their conversation, was recent, raw, and stinging in my mind; I had felt every word as acutely as I had heard it plainly, and a passion of resentment fomented now within me. Ce qui venait de se passer; ce que Mme Reed avait dit de moi à M. Brocklehurst; toute la teneur de leur conversation était récente, crue et piquante dans mon esprit; J'avais ressenti chaque mot aussi vivement que je l'avais entendu clairement, et une passion de ressentiment se propageait maintenant en moi.

Mrs.

Reed looked up from her work; her eye settled on mine, her fingers at the same time suspended their nimble movements. Reed leva les yeux de son travail; son œil se posa sur le mien, ses doigts suspendirent en même temps leurs mouvements agiles.

“Go out of the room; return to the nursery,” was her mandate.

My look or something else must have struck her as offensive, for she spoke with extreme though suppressed irritation. Mon regard ou autre chose a dû lui paraître offensant, car elle parlait avec une irritation extrême mais réprimée. I got up, I went to the door; I came back again; I walked to the window, across the room, then close up to her. Je me suis levé, je suis allé à la porte; Je suis revenu; Je me dirigeai vers la fenêtre, de l'autre côté de la pièce, puis près d'elle.

Speak I must: I had been trodden on severely, and must turn: but how? Je dois parler: j'avais été sévèrement foulé aux pieds, et je dois me retourner: mais comment?

What strength had I to dart retaliation at my antagonist? Quelle force avais-je pour lancer des représailles à mon antagoniste? I gathered my energies and launched them in this blunt sentence— J'ai rassemblé mes énergies et les ai lancées dans cette phrase brutale -

“I am not deceitful: if I were, I should say I loved you; but I declare I do not love you: I dislike you the worst of anybody in the world except John Reed; and this book about the liar, you may give to your girl, Georgiana, for it is she who tells lies, and not I.” «Je ne suis pas trompeur: si je l'étais, je dirais que je t'ai aimé; mais je déclare que je ne vous aime pas: je ne vous aime pas le pire de personne au monde, sauf John Reed; et ce livre sur le menteur, tu peux le donner à ta fille, Georgiana, car c'est elle qui dit des mensonges, et non moi.

Mrs.

Reed's hands still lay on her work inactive: her eye of ice continued to dwell freezingly on mine. Les mains de Reed reposaient toujours sur son travail inactif: son œil de glace continuait à s'attarder de façon glaciale sur le mien. “What more have you to say?” she asked, rather in the tone in which a person might address an opponent of adult age than such as is ordinarily used to a child. "Qu'as-tu encore à dire ? demanda-t-elle, sur un ton plus proche de celui que l'on emploie pour s'adresser à un adversaire d'âge adulte que de celui que l'on emploie habituellement pour s'adresser à un enfant.

That eye of hers, that voice stirred every antipathy I had.

Shaking from head to foot, thrilled with ungovernable excitement, I continued— Secouant de la tête aux pieds, ravi d'une excitation ingouvernable, j'ai continué -

“I am glad you are no relation of mine: I will never call you aunt again as long as I live.

I will never come to see you when I am grown up; and if any one asks me how I liked you, and how you treated me, I will say the very thought of you makes me sick, and that you treated me with miserable cruelty.”

“How dare you affirm that, Jane Eyre?”

“How dare I, Mrs. Reed?

How dare I? Because it is the truth . You think I have no feelings, and that I can do without one bit of love or kindness; but I cannot live so: and you have no pity. Vous pensez que je n'ai pas de sentiments et que je peux me passer d'un peu d'amour ou de bonté ; mais je ne peux pas vivre ainsi et vous n'avez pas de pitié. I shall remember how you thrust me back—roughly and violently thrust me back—into the red-room, and locked me up there, to my dying day; though I was in agony; though I cried out, while suffocating with distress, ‘Have mercy! Je me souviendrai comment vous m'avez repoussé - rudement et violemment repoussé - dans la chambre rouge, et m'a enfermé là-haut, jusqu'à mon dernier jour; bien que j'étais à l'agonie; bien que je crie, en suffoquant de détresse: «Ayez pitié! Have mercy, Aunt Reed! '  And that punishment you made me suffer because your wicked boy struck me—knocked me down for nothing. Et ce châtiment que vous m'avez fait souffrir parce que votre méchant garçon m'a frappé - m'a assommé pour rien. I will tell anybody who asks me questions, this exact tale. People think you a good woman, but you are bad, hard-hearted. You are deceitful!”

Ere I had finished this reply, my soul began to expand, to exult, with the strangest sense of freedom, of triumph, I ever felt. Avant que j'aie fini cette réponse, mon âme a commencé à s'étendre, à exulter, avec le sentiment le plus étrange de liberté, de triomphe que j'aie jamais ressenti.

It seemed as if an invisible bond had burst, and that I had struggled out into unhoped-for liberty. Il me semblait qu'un lien invisible avait éclaté et que j'avais lutté pour une liberté inespérée. Not without cause was this sentiment: Mrs. Reed looked frightened; her work had slipped from her knee; she was lifting up her hands, rocking herself to and fro, and even twisting her face as if she would cry. Ce sentiment n'était pas sans raison: Mme Reed avait l'air effrayée; son travail avait glissé de son genou; elle levait les mains, se balançait d'avant en arrière, et se tordait même le visage comme si elle pleurait.

“Jane, you are under a mistake: what is the matter with you? «Jane, vous vous trompez: quel est votre problème?

Why do you tremble so violently? Pourquoi tremblez-vous si violemment? Would you like to drink some water?” Voulez-vous boire de l'eau ?"

“No, Mrs. Reed.”

“Is there anything else you wish for, Jane? «Y a-t-il autre chose que vous souhaitez, Jane?

I assure you, I desire to be your friend.” Je vous assure que je souhaite être votre ami."

“Not you.

You told Mr. Brocklehurst I had a bad character, a deceitful disposition; and I'll let everybody at Lowood know what you are, and what you have done.” Vous avez dit à M. Brocklehurst que j'avais un mauvais caractère, un caractère fourbe ; et je vais faire savoir à tout le monde à Lowood ce que vous êtes, et ce que vous avez fait." “Jane, you don't understand these things: children must be corrected for their faults.” “Deceit is not my fault!” I cried out in a savage, high voice.

“But you are passionate, Jane, that you must allow: and now return to the nursery—there's a dear—and lie down a little.” «Mais vous êtes passionnée, Jane, que vous devez permettre: et maintenant retournez à la crèche - il y a une chère - et allongez-vous un peu. “I am not your dear; I cannot lie down: send me to school soon, Mrs. Reed, for I hate to live here.”

“I will indeed send her to school soon,” murmured Mrs. Reed sotto voce ; and gathering up her work, she abruptly quitted the apartment. «Je vais en effet l'envoyer bientôt à l'école», murmura Mme Reed sotto voce; et rassemblant son travail, elle quitta brusquement l'appartement.

I was left there alone—winner of the field.

It was the hardest battle I had fought, and the first victory I had gained: I stood awhile on the rug, where Mr. Brocklehurst had stood, and I enjoyed my conqueror's solitude. C'était la bataille la plus dure que j'avais livrée, et la première victoire que j'avais remportée : Je restai un moment sur le tapis, à la place de M. Brocklehurst, et je savourai la solitude de mon vainqueur. First, I smiled to myself and felt elate; but this fierce pleasure subsided in me as fast as did the accelerated throb of my pulses. Tout d'abord, je me suis souri et me suis senti ravi; mais ce plaisir féroce s'apaisa en moi aussi vite que le battement accéléré de mes pouls. A child cannot quarrel with its elders, as I had done; cannot give its furious feelings uncontrolled play, as I had given mine, without experiencing afterwards the pang of remorse and the chill of reaction. Un enfant ne peut pas se quereller avec ses aînés, comme je l'avais fait; ne peut pas donner à ses sentiments furieux un jeu incontrôlé, comme j'avais donné le mien, sans éprouver par la suite l'angoisse du remords et le froid de la réaction. A ridge of lighted heath, alive, glancing, devouring, would have been a meet emblem of my mind when I accused and menaced Mrs. Reed: the same ridge, black and blasted after the flames are dead, would have represented as meetly my subsequent condition, when half-an-hour's silence and reflection had shown me the madness of my conduct, and the dreariness of my hated and hating position. Une crête de bruyère allumée, vivante, lançant un regard, dévorant, aurait été un emblème de rencontre de mon esprit lorsque j'ai accusé et menacé Mme Reed: la même crête, noire et explosée après la mort des flammes, aurait représenté comme convenablement ma suite état, quand une demi-heure de silence et de réflexion m'avaient montré la folie de ma conduite et la morosité de ma position haïe et haineuse. Something of vengeance I had tasted for the first time; as aromatic wine it seemed, on swallowing, warm and racy: its after-flavour, metallic and corroding, gave me a sensation as if I had been poisoned. Quelque chose de vengeance que j'avais goûté pour la première fois; comme vin aromatique il me parut, à la déglutition, chaud et racé: son arrière-goût, métallique et corrodant, me donnait une sensation comme si j'avais été empoisonné.

Willingly would I now have gone and asked Mrs. Reed's pardon; but I knew, partly from experience and partly from instinct, that was the way to make her repulse me with double scorn, thereby re-exciting every turbulent impulse of my nature. Je serais volontiers maintenant allé demander le pardon de Mme Reed; mais je savais, en partie par expérience et en partie par instinct, que c'était la manière de la faire me repousser avec un double mépris, ravivant ainsi chaque impulsion turbulente de ma nature. I would fain exercise some better faculty than that of fierce speaking; fain find nourishment for some less fiendish feeling than that of sombre indignation. Je voudrais exercer une meilleure faculté que celle de parler férocement; Je voudrais bien trouver la nourriture pour quelque sentiment moins diabolique que celui de la sombre indignation.

I took a book—some Arabian tales; I sat down and endeavoured to read. Je pris un livre - des contes arabes -, je m'assis et m'efforçai de lire. I could make no sense of the subject; my own thoughts swam always between me and the page I had usually found fascinating. Je ne pouvais pas comprendre le sujet; mes propres pensées nageaient toujours entre moi et la page que j'avais habituellement trouvée fascinante. I opened the glass-door in the breakfast-room: the shrubbery was quite still: the black frost reigned, unbroken by sun or breeze, through the grounds. J'ouvris la porte vitrée de la salle du petit-déjeuner: les arbustes étaient immobiles: le givre noir régnait, ininterrompu par le soleil ou la brise, à travers le parc. I covered my head and arms with the skirt of my frock, and went out to walk in a part of the plantation which was quite sequestrated; but I found no pleasure in the silent trees, the falling fir-cones, the congealed relics of autumn, russet leaves, swept by past winds in heaps, and now stiffened together. Je me couvris la tête et les bras avec la jupe de ma robe et je sortis me promener dans une partie de la plantation qui était tout à fait séquestrée; mais je ne trouvais aucun plaisir dans les arbres silencieux, les cônes de sapin qui tombaient, les reliques figées de l'automne, les feuilles rousses, balayées par les vents du passé en tas, et maintenant raidies ensemble. I leaned against a gate, and looked into an empty field where no sheep were feeding, where the short grass was nipped and blanched. Je m'appuyai contre une porte et regardai dans un champ vide où aucun mouton ne se nourrissait, où l'herbe courte était coupée et blanchie. It was a very grey day; a most opaque sky, “onding on snaw,” canopied all; thence flakes felt it intervals, which settled on the hard path and on the hoary lea without melting. C'était une journée très grise; un ciel des plus opaques, «onding on snaw», couvert tout; de là des flocons le sentaient par intervalles, qui se posaient sur le chemin dur et sur le feu blanc sans fondre. I stood, a wretched child enough, whispering to myself over and over again, “What shall I do?—what shall I do?” Je me levai, assez misérable enfant, me chuchotant encore et encore: «Que dois-je faire? Que dois-je faire?

All at once I heard a clear voice call, “Miss Jane! Tout à coup, j'ai entendu un appel vocal clair: «Miss Jane!

where are you? Come to lunch!”

It was Bessie, I knew well enough; but I did not stir; her light step came tripping down the path. C'était Bessie, je le savais assez bien; mais je n'ai pas bougé; son pas léger est venu trébucher sur le chemin.

“You naughty little thing!” she said.

“Why don't you come when you are called?” Bessie's presence, compared with the thoughts over which I had been brooding, seemed cheerful; even though, as usual, she was somewhat cross. La présence de Bessie, comparée aux pensées sur lesquelles j'avais médité, me parut joyeuse; même si, comme d'habitude, elle était un peu en colère. The fact is, after my conflict with and victory over Mrs. Reed, I was not disposed to care much for the nursemaid's transitory anger; and I was disposed to bask in her youthful lightness of heart. Le fait est qu'après mon conflit et ma victoire sur Mme Reed, je n'étais pas disposé à me soucier beaucoup de la colère transitoire de la nourrice; et j'étais disposé à profiter de sa légèreté juvénile de cœur. I just put my two arms round her and said, “Come, Bessie! don't scold.” ne grondez pas. The action was more frank and fearless than any I was habituated to indulge in: somehow it pleased her. L'action était plus franche et intrépide que toutes celles auxquelles j'étais habitué à me livrer: en quelque sorte cela lui plaisait.

“You are a strange child, Miss Jane,” she said, as she looked down at me; “a little roving, solitary thing: and you are going to school, I suppose?” "Vous êtes une enfant étrange, Miss Jane, dit-elle en me regardant, une petite chose errante et solitaire, et vous allez à l'école, je suppose ?

I nodded. J'ai acquiescé.

“And won't you be sorry to leave poor Bessie?” “What does Bessie care for me? «Qu'est-ce que Bessie prend soin de moi?

She is always scolding me.”

“Because you're such a queer, frightened, shy little thing. "Parce que tu es une petite chose bizarre, effrayée et timide. You should be bolder.” Vous devriez être plus audacieux".

“What!

to get more knocks?”

“Nonsense!

But you are rather put upon, that's certain. Mais vous êtes plutôt mis dessus, c'est certain. My mother said, when she came to see me last week, that she would not like a little one of her own to be in your place.—Now, come in, and I've some good news for you.” Ma mère a dit, quand elle est venue me voir la semaine dernière, qu'elle n'aimerait pas qu'un petit des siens soit à votre place. - Maintenant, entrez, et j'ai de bonnes nouvelles pour vous. “I don't think you have, Bessie.” “Child!

what do you mean? What sorrowful eyes you fix on me! Well, but Missis and the young ladies and Master John are going out to tea this afternoon, and you shall have tea with me. Eh bien, Missis, les jeunes femmes et Master John vont sortir pour prendre le thé cet après-midi, et vous prendrez le thé avec moi. I'll ask cook to bake you a little cake, and then you shall help me to look over your drawers; for I am soon to pack your trunk. Je demanderai au cuisinier de vous faire un petit gâteau, puis vous m'aiderez à regarder par-dessus vos tiroirs; car je vais bientôt faire votre valise. Missis intends you to leave Gateshead in a day or two, and you shall choose what toys you like to take with you.” Missis veut que vous quittiez Gateshead dans un jour ou deux, et vous choisirez les jouets que vous voulez emporter avec vous."

“Bessie, you must promise not to scold me any more till I go.” "Bessie, tu dois me promettre de ne plus me gronder jusqu'à ce que je parte."

“Well, I will; but mind you are a very good girl, and don't be afraid of me. "Eh bien, je le ferai; mais remarquez que vous êtes une très bonne fille et n'ayez pas peur de moi. Don't start when I chance to speak rather sharply; it's so provoking.” Ne commencez pas quand j'ai la chance de parler assez brusquement; c'est tellement provocant. “I don't think I shall ever be afraid of you again, Bessie, because I have got used to you, and I shall soon have another set of people to dread.” «Je ne pense pas que j'aurai plus jamais peur de toi, Bessie, parce que je me suis habituée à toi, et j'aurai bientôt un autre groupe de personnes à redouter. “If you dread them they'll dislike you.” "Si vous les redoutez, ils ne vous aimeront pas." “As you do, Bessie?” «Comme toi, Bessie?

“I don't dislike you, Miss; I believe I am fonder of you than of all the others.” «Je ne vous déteste pas, mademoiselle; Je crois que je vous aime plus que tous les autres. “You don't show it.” “You little sharp thing! «Espèce de petite chose pointue!

you've got quite a new way of talking. vous avez une toute nouvelle façon de parler. What makes you so venturesome and hardy?” Qu'est-ce qui vous rend si aventureux et si robuste?

“Why, I shall soon be away from you, and besides”—I was going to say something about what had passed between me and Mrs. Reed, but on second thoughts I considered it better to remain silent on that head. «Eh bien, je serai bientôt loin de vous, et d'ailleurs» - J'allais dire quelque chose sur ce qui s'était passé entre moi et Mme Reed, mais à la réflexion, je jugeais préférable de garder le silence sur cette tête.

“And so you're glad to leave me?” “Not at all, Bessie; indeed, just now I'm rather sorry.” "Pas du tout, Bessie ; en fait, à l'instant même, je suis plutôt désolé." “Just now!

and rather! How coolly my little lady says it! Comme ma petite dame le dit froidement ! I dare say now if I were to ask you for a kiss you wouldn't give it me: you'd say you'd rather not.” J'ose dire maintenant que si je vous demandais un baiser, vous ne me le feriez pas: vous diriez que vous préférez ne pas le faire. “I'll kiss you and welcome: bend your head down.”  Bessie stooped; we mutually embraced, and I followed her into the house quite comforted. "Je vous embrasse et je vous souhaite la bienvenue : baissez la tête." Bessie se baissa, nous nous embrassâmes mutuellement et je la suivis dans la maison, tout à fait réconfortée. That afternoon lapsed in peace and harmony; and in the evening Bessie told me some of her most enchanting stories, and sang me some of her sweetest songs. L'après-midi s'écoula dans la paix et l'harmonie ; et le soir, Bessie me raconta quelques-unes de ses histoires les plus enchanteresses et me chanta quelques-unes de ses chansons les plus douces. Even for me life had its gleams of sunshine. Même pour moi, la vie avait ses rayons de soleil.