3 Common Pieces of Life Advice that Do More Harm Than Good 3 gängige Lebensratschläge, die mehr schaden als nützen 3 consejos de vida que hacen más mal que bien 3 توصیه متداول در زندگی که بیشتر از اینکه مفید باشد ضرر دارد 3 conseils de vie qui font plus de mal que de bien 3 porady życiowe, które przynoszą więcej szkody niż pożytku 3 conselhos de vida comuns que fazem mais mal do que bem Yarardan Çok Zarar Getiren 3 Yaygın Yaşam Tavsiyesi 3 条弊大于利的常见人生建议

- So there is a lot of advice floating around - Szóval rengeteg tanács kering a levegőben. - Então existem muitos conselhos circulando

on the internet and not all of it is good. az interneten, és nem mindegyik jó. na internet e nem tudo é bom.

So what we're gonna do today Szóval, mit fogunk ma csinálni. Então, o que vamos fazer hoje

is get away from the productivity tips é fugir das dicas de produtividade

and the self-improvement advice that I think e os conselhos de auto-aperfeiçoamento que eu acho

is actually good and should be implemented into your life é realmente bom e deve ser implementado em sua vida

and talk about three pieces of advice és beszéljünk három tanácsról. e fale sobre três conselhos

that I took very seriously, in some cases, amit nagyon komolyan vettem, néhány esetben, que levei muito a sério, em alguns casos,

tried to follow for quite a long period of time, elég hosszú ideig próbáltam követni, tentou seguir por um longo período de tempo,

before realizing that they were ultimately bad advice mielőtt rájöttek volna, hogy ezek végső soron rossz tanácsok voltak antes de perceber que eles eram maus conselhos

or at least I interpreted them in a bad way ou pelo menos eu os interpretei de uma maneira ruim

and ended up doing something more destructive e acabou fazendo algo mais destrutivo

than positive in my life. do que positivo na minha vida.

And we're just gonna jump into with one E nós vamos pular com um

that I get emailed about all the time amiről állandóan e-mailt kapok que eu recebo e-mails o tempo todo

which is the common saying that you are the product qual é o ditado comum de que você é o produto

of the five people you spend the most time around. az öt ember, akikkel a legtöbb időt töltöd. das cinco pessoas que você passa mais tempo.

Now, on the surface, there isn't a whole lot to object to A felszínen nem sok kifogásolni való van Agora, na superfície, não há muito o que objetar

with this quotation, or this aphorism ezzel az idézettel, vagy ezzel az aforizmával. com essa citação ou esse aforismo

or whatever it is you want to call it, ou o que você quiser chamar,

because we are influenced by the people porque somos influenciados pelas pessoas

we spend the most time around. passamos a maior parte do tempo.

It's obvious, people are the products of their friends, Nyilvánvaló, hogy az emberek a barátaik termékei, É óbvio, as pessoas são os produtos de seus amigos,

their family, the people that they tend to hang out with a családjuk, az emberek, akikkel hajlamosak együtt lógni. sua família, as pessoas com quem eles costumam sair

or at least, they're very much influenced by those people, ou pelo menos, eles são muito influenciados por essas pessoas,

but where they start going down the wrong path, I think, de szerintem ott kezdenek rossz irányba haladni, mas onde eles começam a seguir o caminho errado, eu acho,

is when they take that piece of advice amikor megfogadják azt a tanácsot. é quando eles aceitam esse conselho

and they draw the conclusion e eles tiram a conclusão

that if I'm an ambitious person, if I have a lot of goals, hogy ha ambiciózus ember vagyok, ha sok célom van, que se eu sou uma pessoa ambiciosa, se tenho muitos objetivos,

if I'm really high-energy and I want to be successful, ha nagyon energikus vagyok, és sikeres akarok lenni, se eu tenho muita energia e quero ter sucesso,

then I have to ditch everyone in my life akkor mindenkit el kell hagynom az életemben. então eu tenho que abandonar todo mundo na minha vida

who doesn't operate in the same way that I do. aki nem úgy működik, mint én. que não opera da mesma maneira que eu.

If I'm friends with somebody Se eu sou amigo de alguém

but they're a little bit more chill, mas eles são um pouco mais relaxados,

or they don't want to be working 24/7, ou eles não querem trabalhar 24/7,

I need to stop being friends with those people immediately Eu preciso parar de ser amigo dessas pessoas imediatamente

and go find new friends e vai encontrar novos amigos

who are going to be a lot more ambitious. que serão muito mais ambiciosos.

And I really don't like this piece of advice E eu realmente não gosto deste conselho

because it leads people to think these things. porque leva as pessoas a pensar essas coisas.

And in fact, when I was younger and I think more foolish, E, de fato, quando eu era mais jovem e acho mais tolo,

I thought this as well. Eu pensei isso também.

Now, luckily, I didn't end up following through with it Agora, felizmente, eu não acabei seguindo com isso

and actually ditching my friends, e realmente abandonando meus amigos,

but there were times when I was thinking to myself, mas houve momentos em que eu estava pensando comigo mesma,

man, maybe I need to go find a different friend group cara, talvez eu precise encontrar um grupo de amigos diferente

because I seem to be interested in different things, porque eu pareço estar interessado em coisas diferentes,

I seem to be wanting to work on Parece que estou querendo trabalhar

my entrepreneurial projects all the time, meus projetos empresariais o tempo todo,

while my friends kinda don't do the same thing. enquanto meus amigos não fazem a mesma coisa.

And what I realized later on is that you don't have to be E o que eu percebi mais tarde é que você não precisa ser

on the same ambitional wavelength as your friends no mesmo comprimento de onda ambicional que seus amigos

to be friends with them

because friendships are separate from your work porque as amizades são separadas do seu trabalho

and your goals and ambitions, e seus objetivos e ambições,

but what you do need to make sure you are doing mas o que você precisa é ter certeza de que está fazendo

is spending some of your time surrounding yourself está gastando seu tempo se cercando

with people who do build you up com pessoas que te constroem

and who do motivate you and encourage and challenge you. e quem o motiva, incentiva e desafia.

So a better way to put this, Então, uma maneira melhor de colocar isso,

in the way that I would prefer it be communicated da maneira que eu preferiria ser comunicado

to people in the future, para as pessoas no futuro,

is don't worry about the time breakdown. é não se preocupe com o tempo.

Don't try to list out the five people you hang out with Não tente listar as cinco pessoas com quem você conversa

the most often and then rank them and give them qualities com mais frequência e depois classificá-los e dar-lhes qualidades

because number one, friendships don't have to be based on porque número um, as amizades não precisam se basear em

having the exact same ambitions tendo exatamente as mesmas ambições

or even the same level of ambition. ou mesmo o mesmo nível de ambição.

You could be friends with somebody just because Você pode ser amigo de alguém só porque

you like them and enjoy spending time with them, você gosta deles e gosta de passar tempo com eles,

but make sure that you are spending time mas verifique se você está gastando tempo

with people who do challenge you. com pessoas que desafiam você.

So a practical example of this would be if you're in college Portanto, um exemplo prático disso seria se você estivesse na faculdade

and you're hanging out with your friends e você está saindo com seus amigos

in the dorms playing video games, nos dormitórios jogando videogame,

playing board games, whatever it is, jogando jogos de tabuleiro, seja o que for,

also make sure that you have some time during the week também verifique se você tem algum tempo durante a semana

that you go and participate in a club que você vá e participe de um clube

or you go to networking events, ou você vai a eventos de networking,

just do something where you are basta fazer algo onde você está

regularly exposed to people who do challenge you. exposto regularmente a pessoas que o desafiam.

And this could be really simple. E isso pode ser muito simples.

It could even be a once a week mastermind group Pode até ser um grupo idealizador de uma vez por semana

through Skype or Discord or any other online chat platform, pelo Skype ou Discord ou qualquer outra plataforma de bate-papo on-line,

just make sure you get that regular exposure. apenas certifique-se de obter essa exposição regular.

And when you go about it in this way, E quando você faz isso dessa maneira,

you're also not ditching people who quite honestly, você também não está abandonando pessoas que, honestamente,

probably need you. provavelmente preciso de você.

Remember that if you're an ambitious person, Lembre-se de que se você é uma pessoa ambiciosa,

if you have a lot of goals se você tem muitos objetivos

if you're kinda going somewhere in life, se você está indo para algum lugar da vida,

or you feel like you are, ou você sente que é,

then you're probably an inspiration então você provavelmente é uma inspiração

and a source of motivation and strength for somebody else. e uma fonte de motivação e força para outra pessoa.

And if we all took this literally, E se todos nós tomássemos isso literalmente,

if we all said, I have to be around the five people se todos disséssemos, eu tenho que estar perto das cinco pessoas

who are most inspiring who are gonna challenge me the most, quem é mais inspirador quem vai me desafiar mais,

we would all only look upwards. todos olharíamos apenas para cima.

We would constantly be ignoring the people Estaríamos constantemente ignorando as pessoas

who probably need us and trying to chase people que provavelmente precisam de nós e tentam perseguir pessoas

who we think we need. de quem pensamos que precisamos.

And instead, we should be thinking in both directions. E, em vez disso, deveríamos estar pensando em ambas as direções.

We should be pursuing relationships with people Devemos estar buscando relacionamentos com as pessoas

who do challenge us and who we can learn from, quem nos desafia e com quem podemos aprender,

but we should also make sure that we keep cultivating mas também devemos garantir que continuemos cultivando

relationships with people who we can help. relacionamentos com pessoas que podemos ajudar.

All right, the second piece of advice Tudo bem, o segundo conselho

that I want to talk about here is simple. que eu quero falar aqui é simples.

Be everywhere. Esteja em toda parte.

And again, this is another one that on the surface E, novamente, este é outro que na superfície

seems like a really good piece of advice, parece realmente um bom conselho,

especially if you want to get your name out into the world. especialmente se você quiser divulgar seu nome ao mundo.

Now, when I heard this piece of advice, Agora, quando ouvi esse conselho,

it was in the context of how to build a successful blog, foi no contexto de como criar um blog de sucesso,

how to build a successful online following. como construir uma sequência online de sucesso.

And again, it seems like a really good piece of advice,

because if you are everywhere,

if you're on LinkedIn and Twitter and Facebook and YouTube

and commenting on other blogs and all kinds of stuff,

then there are so many different opportunities

for people to find out who you are.

But again, it's the way in which you interpret this advice

that really makes the difference.

And the way that I interpreted it,

was actually destructive, because I took be everywhere

as a call for me to be active

on every platform all the time.

So I was on LinkedIn and I was writing articles on LinkedIn

and I was commenting on other people's articles.

I was on twitter and I had a habit in my habit tracker

at one point to tweet five articles a day

and a certain amount of quotes per day.

I had Facebook pages.

I was even on app.net for a while

and probably nobody watching this video even remembers

what app.net was 'cause it died a pretty quick death.

So I would say that looking back on my career,

the points at which I made the most progress

were the ones where I failed to be everywhere,

they were the times where I got one idea in my head,

one piece of content that I wanted to make,

one article, one video and I ignored everything else

for a period of days, sometimes even weeks

to make one great thing.

Now, there is a quote that I do want to share here,

which I'm going to edit a little bit

to remove a exploitative, but the quote goes,

"Self-promotion, if you don't like it,

"stay in your basement."

You do have to self-promote.

You do have to put your work out there,

but I think you need to take a majority of your time

and use it to focus on creating something

that is really worth paying attention to

or honing your skills

so you are in the top 10% or 5% of people in your field.

Once you've done that,

then you can take a little bit of time that's left over

and use it on self-promotion

and you can be everywhere to a certain extent.

You can have a presence on all these platforms,

but if you're splitting you're time up into little chunks

every single day trying to be active on all these platforms,

you don't have any time left over to do something

that's worth sharing, so focus on that first.

And speaking of focus,

that brings us to our third and final piece of bad advice,

which is the common advice to focus on your strengths

and ignore your weaknesses.

Now again, just as with the first two pieces of advice

we talked about here,

this is something that can be interpreted in a positive way,

if you know what your strengths are.

But the problem is, we give this advice

to people who are often very early in their careers

or sometimes to kids and when you're a kid

or when you're a teenager

or when you're early in your career,

you often haven't put in enough work

to know what's actually a weakness and what's just something

that you haven't put enough effort into,

something that you're just in the dip right now

and you haven't kind of come out of that initial area

of difficulty that almost nobody makes it out of.

So for example, a lot of people in the world say,

"I'm bad at math," or "I'm bad at learning languages,"

or "I'm just not cut out to play music,

"that's just a weakness of mine."

And that third one is a big one for me.

I went a lot of my life saying

that I'm just not cut out for music,

I don't have it in me to be a musician,

I should go and do something else and I've learned

in recent years that that isn't the case at all.

I just hadn't put in the work

to become a somewhat decent musician and now that I have,

I realized that no, music is actually a strength,

I have this pretty nice improvisational talent

that allows me to play music

that's pretty decent at least to my ears.

It just took me a while to develop that skill.

So I think a better way to go about this

is to follow your interests.

If you're interested in something,

be it speaking Japanese or learning calculus

or learning high-level statistics

or playing the guitar or the piano,

put ample time into the practice of whatever that thing is.

Now, you may realize down the line that

yes, this is a weakness of mine,

I'm trying to play basketball

and I'm just not tall enough to dunk the ball,

okay, maybe that's a weakness.

But I think more times than not,

you are going to discover

that what you thought was a weakness,

was just something that is inherently difficult

to learn for a lot of different people

and that just requires more work.

Now, on that note of following your interests,

one common objection to this might be

that I don't know what my interests are

or I don't have an interest that's compelling enough

to really follow right now,

and if that's the case for you,

then you might want to go expose yourself to new information

so you can develop new interests

and there are plenty different ways to do that.

You can go browse the stacks of your local library

or you can go watch a really interesting documentary

on a service like CuriosityStream.

CuriosityStream is a new streaming service

with over 2,400 high-quality documentaries

that was actually created by John Hendricks

who was the founder of the Discovery Channel,

which was the way that I discovered

a lot of my interests as a kid.

Now the great thing about CuriosityStream

is that unlike Discover Channel,

you don't have to wait for a certain thing to come on,

at any time and almost anywhere

since you'll find CuriosityStream on iOS, Android, Roku

and plenty of other devices,

you can access any documentary you want.

There are science documentaries,

history documentaries, technology documentaries,

there are even documentaries

from people like Stephen Hawking and Sigourney Weaver

and if you're looking for a place to start,

then I would like to give you a recommendation

because one of my big interests

that I don't talk about a whole lot on my channel

is the development of artificial intelligence.

This is something that I've been interested in

for probably five or six years at this point

and on CuriosityStream, you're gonna find a documentary

called the Road to the Singularity, which explores

how the development of several different technologies

including biotech and nano tech could lead to

the development of artificial intelligence

and the singularity in the intelligence explosion.

So if you want to check out that documentary

or any of the others on the platform,

then you should give CuriosityStream a try.

It's really affordable, just $2.99 per month

and if you want to give it a try for free,

you can actually get a free 30 day trial

of unlimited watching on the platform

by going over to CuriosityStream.com/Thomas

and using the code Thomas at checkout.

Huge thanks as always goes out to CuriosityStream

for sponsoring this video and being a big supporter

of my channel and the content that I create

and thank you as well for watching.

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