031: Habit 5 – Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

Hi there, Steve here, again, continuing in this series about the application of Stephen Covey's very inspiring book ‘7 Habits of High Effective People' and how it applies to language learning. His fifth habit was what he calls, y'know ‘Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.' And this applies in life. We should always listen before talking. Hear what people have to say. If we understand what they have to say, we can respond to it much better.

Well, the same is true in language learning, and that's why my whole approach to language learning is so heavily input-based. I want to understand. I want to understand the culture. I want to understand what people have to say. I want to feel confident that in any conversation there won't be any big surprises. I won't find myself constantly saying I beg your pardon?, I beg your pardon? So, this developing this level of understanding is key. Then, what we have to say is going to make sense. It's going to be a response to what people said. It's not just gonna be trotting out a few sentences that we feel confident in uttering.

It also gets back to some of these other habits, like the Win-Win. In other words, any engagement you have with the language, if you are connecting with it, understanding, listening and reading, all of this is a powerful win. So, by having a learning strategy that focuses on understanding, you're guaranteeing yourself the sense of win and achievement. If, on the other hand, you look at language learning as a performance, then you're constantly second guessing yourself, ‘Oh, I didn't speak as well as I would like. I wasn't able to express my thoughts. I struggle to find words.' Whereas, when you are listening you're constantly gaining, you're constantly learning, listening and reading, understanding, understanding not only the language, but understanding some aspect of the culture.

I just find that this emphasis on understanding the language, the culture, on soaking it in rather than wanting to trot out the few sentences that you can use is much more long lasting, much more in the long run satisfying way and it builds up a solid base from which to develop your output skills. So, seek first to understand, then to be understood. I think that applies to language learning.