Friends S04E09 2d

-Who is it? -It's Allesandro, from Allesandro's. -Oh, my God. -I want to talk to you about your review. Call me on the phone. What? So you can hang up on me? I'll never let you up, so just go away. -Just give me a chance to -Do you need to get in? No, Phoebe! Hey, Monica! I want a retraction. Our food is not "inedible swill." I couldn't eat it. My five friends couldn't eat it, and one of them eats books. Our service isn't "grossly incompetent." The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants. Well, you said that we accept the Discover Card... ...which we do not! All right, that I'll retract. But I stand by my review. I know food, and that wasn't it. Your marinara sauce tastes like tomato juice. You should serve it with vodka and celery. I'm proud of that sauce. It's delicious. You own an ltalian restaurant, and you think that tastes good? Where are you from? Lebanon. Hand me those tomatoes. I'll show you what it should taste like. How long will this take? I got another critic to yell at. Joanna, I want to talk about that interview. I thought it went very well. No, it didn't. That's what I want to talk to you about. Now just to brief you... ...I may cry. But they are not tears of sadness or of anger... ...but just of us having this discussion. Please, don't make a scene. There's nobody here. Sophie, get in here. See? You're making Sophie uncomfortable. No, she's not. Congratulations. You crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. Do you want me to quit? What makes you think that? Those things you said in the interview... ...if you believe them, I must not be a good assistant. You know what? I am just going to pack up my desk... ...and I will be gone by the end of the day. There's no use staying till the end of the day. Wait, wait. You can put your sad little muffin back. If you must know the truth, I didn't want to lose a good assistant. What? That's why I said those things about your flirting and drinking. My drinking? I must have said that after you left. Said what, exactly? You enjoy the occasional drink... ...-ing binge. Oh, my God! That is it. I'm leaving! You are just a horrible person! Wait, wait. If you're going to get all sensitive about it. I don't want to lose you. What if I create a position for you? I'll make you assistant buyer in this department. Say more things like that. Your own office and a raise, effective tomorrow. -I need an expense account. -Done! -And an assistant. -Sophie! Hey, I thought you'd be out partying with Gandol-... ...-dorf. It's Gandalf, and he's not coming. You've been sitting here all day? I balanced my checkbook. And I gave first names to all the foosball players. I can't believe he didn't come. So what? We can still go out and party ourselves. With Gandalf, we'd be out all night. We'd meet total strangers and hang out with them. We could do that. There was other stuff too. We'll do it all and better! After tonight, Gandalf will want to party with us, dude! It's not like we don't know how to party! All right! Let's go. Maybe we could end up on a boat again? All right! When were we on a boat? Remember that cold morning with those dogs licking your face? Those were seals, man. How would this suit look on an assistant buyer The owner of Allesandro's came to yell at me. But I made him sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef! You just ruined the thing I was practicing, but I'm so happy! Can you believe it? I get to run my own kitchen! Oh, you've waited so long. Pheebs! Quick question for you. How would this suit look... ...on an assistant buyer at Bloomingdale's? It would totally depend on her coloring and.... You got the job! You got the job? Why didn't you tell me? It'll be so great! I'll help decide what we sell. I'll have an office with walls and everything. I'm going to have walls! Is this the day of good news or what? I got us a job. The wedding reception. I kind of need to talk to you about that. I think it's time for me to take a step back from the catering. But we've only had one job. But now we have this second one, and it feels like it's snowballing. What are you saying? I got offered the head chef job at Allesandro's. It's okay, because you don't really need me. You're the cook! Without you, it's just me driving up to people's houses... ...with empty trays, asking for money. All right. But I'll pay you back all the money you invested. -And you can keep the van! -For what? I can't believe this! I got to get out of here. Phoebe, wait a minute. I'm an assistant buyer!