Podcast: A Flash of Anger
Have you ever seen red? Been so angry you could hit someone? I have…
Welcome to Green-Eyed English, a podcast for intermediate and higher English speakers. In this episode I will be talking about a flash of anger I had very recently. You can use this episode to practice your listening skills, as well as learn new vocabulary, including how to swear naturally. If you want to listen with a transcript, you can visit www.greeneyedenglish.com to download a free learning pack to go with this episode. Also, if you want to improve your reading skills, click the link in the description for my book of short stories for intermediate learners. The book is called A Pencil Drawing and Other English Stories.
Ok, let's get started…
I was out running yesterday morning. It was a Saturday and, as usual, I left the house around 6am and ran for about an hour in my local neighbourhood. This is pretty much my Saturday morning routine and I was running my usual route. At one point, I was running along the pavement – or sidewalk, as Americans like to incorrectly call it – and another man was walking the other way. As we got close to each other, I moved over to one side so that we could pass each other. However, when we were only 1 or 2 metres away from each other, he suddenly stepped in front of me, so that I had to jump out of the way. What was weird was that he looked like a normal, nice, man, perhaps 50 or 60 years old, so not the kind of person that might deliberately want to piss me off. In fact, if he had looked aggressive or drunk or whatever, I would have stepped into the road to avoid him anyway…
Anyway, it was probably an accident or perhaps he was half asleep and hadn't noticed me – I mean, it was still kind of dark at the time, right? So that was probably what was going on. But, even so, I got really fucking angry… For a few seconds, I saw red and was enraged. I turned around and stared at him, my eyes burning holes in his back, and I almost stopped running to go back, shove him in the back, and ask him what the fuck he was doing...
This flash of anger soon passed and I continued my run, but for the rest of the run, all I could think about was how out of character this was for me.
Now, the nice thing about running is that it gives you time to think, so for the rest of my run I thought about this sudden flash of anger. Generally speaking, I am a very laid back, calm, and easygoing guy and don't get angry very often. When people do things that could be annoying, I am pretty good at not giving a shit. In fact, I can't ever remember feeling so angry so suddenly. Perhaps I felt like that as a teenager, when emotions are really strong, but I can't remember a time as an adult when I felt that angry. So, as I ran, I thought about where the anger had come from.
One subject I am interested in is Psychology. I am not an expert, but I have read a few books on Psychology and I remember reading somewhere that anger comes from fear – in English, we say that anger is rooted in fear. Now, I wasn't scared of the man who was walking towards me, but, if I am honest, I have felt scared on some of my early morning runs. This is because where I live in Malaysia, there are lots of snakes which you can sometimes see around. They are particularly fucking scary at 6am, in the dark, when they are hard to see and when no one else is around. Because of the snakes, I often run in the road, so also have to be very careful with passing cars - I have had some pretty close calls with cars too, which can also be quite scary. So, perhaps, I felt angry at the man who got in my way because I have been scared a lot while running – the fear I have felt on some runs came out as anger at him. From this, it appears that I have been more scared on while running than I thought!
Actually, this makes sense because snakes are something that people have been scared of for a very long time. In fact, we have been scared of snakes from the time we were monkeys living in trees, and perhaps even longer than that. I mean, think about it, we are probably scared of snakes from the moment we are born, before we even know what a snake is. I was reading something about a tribe of people living in the Amazon rainforest recently and these people do not say ‘goodnight', like we do. Instead, they say “don't sleep, there are snakes.” This shows that a fear of snakes is deeply rooted in humans. And of course it is… because snakes are fucking horrible, dangers, terrifying things!
Also, I am probably a little more scared of snakes than most people because I have seen lots of them in Malaysia and China, two places where I have lived. Once, I came really fucking close to stepping on a very big, very black, very poisonous Chinese cobra… but that is another story for another time!
Recently, I have been feeling more confident on my morning runs. I have found some better running routes which are not near forests or parks full of snakes, and so I do not have to watch the ground carefully or run in the road with the traffic. So, perhaps this is why the flash of anger appeared. Perhaps, because I feel less scared, the anger was a way of letting go of all the fear I had before.
That said, I don't think I will ever not be scared of snakes. And that is probably a good thing because some snakes can be very big, and very dangerous, especially here in Malaysia. Also, Indian Jones, the movie character, was cool as fuck, and he was scared of snakes. I'm not as cool as Indian Jones, but I wish I was, and if a fear of snakes helps with this, then I'll take it.
How about you? Ever seen red? Or are you also scared of snakes or some other horrible, dangerous creature? Visit greeneyedenglish.com to leave me a message or a comment.
Finally, you should also visit greeneyedenglish.com if you are a language learner, because you can download a learning pack for this episode. It has a transcript and a glossary of interesting language.
Bye bye
