Les Tue-L'Amour (feat. JORDI ET MARTIN) - Parlons peu... - YouTube The|||featuring|JORDI|and|MARTIN|Let's talk|little|YouTube 레 투-라무르 (feat. 조르디 에 마르탱) - 팔롱 페우... - YouTube The Love Killers (feat. JORDI AND MARTIN) - Let's talk less... - YouTube

Salut à tous et bonne année 2016! Hi|to|all|and|good|year Hello everyone and happy new year 2016!

- L'année de la baise! |||L'année du sexe! The year|of|the|sex - The year of sex!

...Heu Juliette ça tourne là, hein! - Oh pardon. ||cela||||| Um|Juliette|it|it's rolling|there|right|Oh|sorry ...Uh Juliette it's rolling there, huh! - Oh sorry.

L'année de... la meguez! |||la galère The year|of|the|sausage The year of... the meguez!

Qu'est-ce que tu fous? ||||fais ||that|you|you do What are you doing?

J'ai pas fini ma pause déj. I have|not|finished|my|break|lunch I haven't finished my lunch break.

Alors Maud, quelles sont tes bonnes résolutions? So|Maud|what|are|your|good|resolutions So Maud, what are your New Year's resolutions?

Eh ben... Gardez un mec, ce serait bien. Well|then|Keep|a|guy|it|it would be|good Well... Keeping a guy would be nice.

avec qui ce serait l'osmose totale, un mec avec qui je me sentirais tellement bien.... with|whom|it|it would be|the osmosis|total|a|guy|with|whom|I|myself|I would feel|so|good With whom it would be total harmony, a guy with whom I would feel so good....

Voilà. Ou juste, garder un mec. There you go|Or|just|to keep|a|guy There you go. Or just, keeping a guy.

Oui! aussi. Yes|too Yes! Also.

Et pour garder un mec Maud, qu'est-ce qu'il faut éviter? Les....? And|to|to keep|a|guy|Maud|||that it|we must|to avoid|The And to keep a guy Maud, what should you avoid? The....?

Les... connards! The|assholes The... assholes!

Je pensais plutôt aux tue-l'amour. I|I was thinking|rather|to the|| I was thinking more about the buzzkills.

Oui! Aussi. Yes|Also Yes! That too.

(Générique:) ♪ Dudu♫ didi♫ dudu♫ didi♫ taduda♪♫ |Dudu|didi||didi|taduda (Theme:) ♪ Dudu♫ didi♫ dudu♫ didi♫ taduda♪♫

(La bouche pleine) Alors, qu'est-che qu'un tue-l'amour? ||||||that a|| (With a full mouth) So, what is a love-killer?

Ch'est une caractéristique physique ou verbale qui enlève instantanément tout désir. It's|a|characteristic|physical|or|verbal|which|it takes away|instantly|all|desire It's a physical or verbal characteristic that instantly removes all desire.

Par exemple quelqu'un qui finirait son couscous. For|example|someone|who|they would finish|their|couscous For example, someone who finishes their couscous.

Non! Par exemple. Vous arrivez dans votre chambre. No|For|example|You|you arrive|in|your|room No! For example. You arrive in your room.

Enfin, dans votre "hacienda"... Finally|in|your|hacienda Well, in your "hacienda"...

Votre Rodrigo vous attend allongé sur le lit à baldaquin Your|Rodrigo|you|he waits|lying|on|the|bed|with|canopy Your Rodrigo is waiting for you lying on the four-poster bed.

Et vous voulez passer à l'acte, et là And|you|you want|to go|to|the act|and|there And you want to get to the act, and there

- ... il a gardé ses chaussettes. he|he has|kept|his|socks - ... he kept his socks.

Non. No No.

T'es pas épilée! You're|not|shaved You're not shaved!

Non. No No.

Il a un slip, avec la poche devant qui sert à rien! He|he has|a|underwear|with|the|pocket|in front|which|it serves|to|nothing He has a pair of underwear, with a front pocket that serves no purpose!

Mais non! But|no But no!

Tu rotes du couscous! You|you burp|some|couscous You burp couscous!

Ben nan! Mais t'as des tue-l'amour bizarres toi, Maud! Well|no|But|you have|some|||strange|you|Maud Well no! But you have some weird turn-offs, Maud!

Nan, il manque un coussin. On en a 14, il n'y en a plus que 13! No|it|we are missing|one|cushion|We|of them|we have|it|not there|of them|we have|more|than No, there is a cushion missing. We have 14, there are only 13 left!

Et là, ça vous bloque! And|there|it|you|it blocks And now, that blocks you!

Et bien alors qu'est-ce que vous faites dans ces cas-là? And|well|then|||that|you|you do|in|those|| So what do you do in those cases?

Vous allez voir un psy! You|you go|to see|a|psychologist You go see a therapist!

Hein? ça te bloque pas, toi? Qu'est-ce qui te bloque? Huh|it|you|blocks|not|you|||who|you|blocks Huh? Doesn't that block you? What blocks you?

Bah par exemple, un mec qui me dirait "non, j'ai pas envie de toi." Well|for|example|a|guy|who|to me|he would say|no|I have|not|desire|of|you Well, for example, a guy who would tell me "no, I don't want you."

Oh oui, mais ça, ça m'arrive pas à moi. Oh|yes|but|that|it|it happens|not|to|me Так, але зі мною такого не трапляється. Oh yes, but that doesn't happen to me.

"Oh oui, mais ça mamarivpaàmoi!" Oh|yes|but|that| "Oh yes, but that doesn't happen to me!"

Quoi? What What?

- Quoi? What - What?

"Gérer les tue-l'amours." To manage|the|| "Manage the love-killers."

... normaux. Gérer les tue-l'amours normaux. normal|To manage|the|||normal ... normal. Manage the normal love-killers.

A chaque tue-l'amour sa solution. Par exemple: At|each|||its|solution|For|example To each love-killer its solution. For example:

Par exemple quelqu'un qui a une haleine fétide? For|example|someone|who|has|a|breath|foul Наприклад, хтось із неприємним запахом з рота? For example, someone who has bad breath?

Très bon exemple Maud. Si votre partenaire a une haleine fétide Very|good|example|Maud|If|your|partner|has|a|breath|foul Very good example, Maud. If your partner has bad breath,

mettez un masque à gaz. put on|a|mask|to|gas wear a gas mask.

Oui mais si le mec, son tue-l'amour, c'est des filles qui portent un masque à gaz? Yes|but|if|the|guy|his|||it's|some|girls|who|they wear|a|mask|to|gas Yes, but what if the guy's turn-off is girls wearing a gas mask?

Aucun problème! Vous mettez un masque sur les yeux. No|problem|You|you put|a|mask|on|the|eyes No problem! You put a mask over your eyes.

Oui, mais si le mec s'endort? Moi par exemple un mec qui ronfle pendant l'amour, ça me bloque. Yes|but|if|the|guy|he falls asleep|Me|for|example|a|guy|who|he snores|during|love|that|to me|it blocks Так, але що, якщо хлопець засне? Мене, наприклад, хлопець, який хропе під час сексу, заважає мені. Yes, but what if the guy falls asleep? For example, a guy who snores during sex, that blocks me.

Aucun problème, vous sifflez. No|problem|you|you whistle No problem, you whistle.

Oui mais si je siffle faux? Yes|but|if|I|I whistle|out of tune Yes, but what if I whistle off-key?

...vous mettez des moufles. Et voilà! Plus de tue-l'amour! you|you put|some|mittens|And|there you go|More|of|| ...you wear mittens. And there you go! No more love-killer!

Mais y'a plus d'amour non plus, là. But|there's|more|of love|not|more|there But there's no more love either, there.

... Oui. Yes ... Yes.

Oh mais il y a toujours le capteur d'anti-glam'! Oh|but|it|there|there is|always|the|sensor|| Oh but there is still the anti-glam sensor!

Le quoi? The|what The what?

*Musique de James Bond* Music|of|James|Bond *James Bond music*

*Bruit de klaxon* Sound|of|horn *Honk sound*

Regardez comme il est chou! Look|how|he|he is|cute Look how cute he is!

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

- Bah quoi? Well|what - What?

Ah oui. T'as de la semoule dans le dents. - Ah merde. Oh|yes|You have|some|the|semolina|in|the|teeth|Oh|shit Oh right. You have some semolina in your teeth. - Oh damn.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

- Oh! (agacée) - Oh! (annoyed)

*Pouêt* Beep *Honk*

"Testons notre capteur d'anti-glam." Let's test|our|sensor|| "Let's test our anti-glam sensor."

(Musique romantique) Music|romantic) (Romantic music)

- Tu sais Lauren... - Oui, Spencer? You|you know|Lauren|Yes|Spencer - You know Lauren... - Yes, Spencer?

- Je suis fou de désir pour toi. - Oh... I|I am|crazy|of|desire|for|you|Oh - I am crazy with desire for you. - Oh...

Faisons l'amour sur ce canapé comme avec mon ex-femme. Let's make|love|on|this|couch|like|with|my|| Let's make love on this couch like with my ex-wife.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

- Tu sais Lauren... - Ava. You|you know|Lauren|Ava - You know Lauren... - Ava.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

Tu sais Ava... You|you know|Ava You know Ava...

Oh-là. On baise? ||we|we have sex Oh dear. Are we having sex?

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

- Tu sais Lauren. - Oui Spencer? You|you know|Lauren|Yes|Spencer - You know Lauren. - Yes Spencer?

Je suis fou de désir pour toi. - Oh... I|I am|crazy|with|desire|for|you|Oh I am crazy with desire for you. - Oh...

- Allons dans la chambre à tes parents. Let's go|in|the|room|of|your|parents - Let's go to your parents' room.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

... De tes parents. Of|your|parents ... Of your parents.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

Tu sais Ava... You|you know|Ava You know Ava...

*Pouêt-pouêt!* *Honk-honk!*

Tu sais Lauren... - Oui Spencer? You|you know|Lauren|Yes|Spencer You know Lauren... - Yes Spencer?

Je suis fou de désir pour toi. - Oh... I|I am|crazy|of|desire|for|you|Oh I am crazy with desire for you. - Oh...

Je me suis toujours demandé ce qui se passerait si tu tirais sur mon doigt, là, tout de suite, maintenant... I|myself|I am|always|asked|what|that|itself|it would happen|if|you|you pulled|on|my|finger|there|all|of|immediately|now Мені завжди було цікаво, що станеться, якщо ти потягнеш мене за палець, прямо зараз, прямо зараз... I've always wondered what would happen if you shot my finger, right there, right now...

*Pouêt-pouêt!* Pew| *Toot-toot!*

Allez, tire sur mon doigt. Come on|pull|on|my|finger Come on, shoot my finger.

Allez! Come on Come on!

Fais pas ta quiche, Lauren! Do|not|your|quiche|Lauren Don't be silly, Lauren!

Oh! Quiche lorraine! Oh|Quiche|Lorraine Oh! Quiche Lorraine!

Non? No No?

(Maud): Non non. Maud|No|not (Maud): No no.

"La hum, oh ah, oh la la... question anonyme." The|um|oh|ah|oh|the|the|question|anonymous "The hum, oh ah, oh la la... anonymous question."

Et nous avons en ligne deux messieurs, bonjour messieurs! And|we|we have|on|line|two|gentlemen|hello|gentlemen And we have two gentlemen on the line, hello gentlemen!

Oui bonjour, c'était pour rebondir sur l'humour en fait. Yes|hello|it was|to|to bounce back|on|humor|in|fact Yes hello, I wanted to bounce back on humor actually.

Oui parce que nous "tire sur mon doigt" on trouve ça marrant. Yes|||we|we pull|on|my|finger|we|we find|it|funny Yes because we "pull on my finger" we find that funny.

Bah ouais, pourquoi ça marche pas? Well|yeah|why|it|it works|not Well yeah, why doesn't it work?

Et puis comme on dit, "femme qui rit, à moitié dans ton lit." And|then|as|we|we say|woman|who|laughs|in|half|in|your|bed А потім, як то кажуть, "жінка, яка сміється, наполовину в твоєму ліжку". And as they say, "a woman who laughs is halfway in your bed."

"Femme qui Rihanna à moitié dans ton lit." Woman|who|Rihanna|in|half|in|your|bed "A woman who Rihanna is halfway in your bed."

"Femme qui rit anal à moitié dans ton lit!" Woman|who|laughs|anal|in|half|in|your|bed "A woman who laughs anal is halfway in your bed!"

"Femme qui rit anal à moitié dans ton cul!" Woman|who|laughs|anal|in|half|in|your|ass "Woman who laughs half anal in your ass!"

Ou-là, ok, stop stop stop! ||okay|stop|| Whoa, okay, stop stop stop!

Mais... vous faites ça, pour séduire une fille? But|you|you do|that|to|to seduce|a|girl But... you do that to attract a girl?

(Ensemble:) Ouais! Together|Yeah (Together:) Yeah!

Juste avant de passer à l'acte? Just|before|to|to pass|to|the act Just before taking action?

(Ensemble:) Ouais! (Together:) Yeah!

Ensemble!? Together Together!?

(Ensemble:) Ouais! (Together:) Yeah!

(Ça va percuter...) It|it goes|to crash (It's going to hit...)

Haaaa! Non! Non, bah non! Aah|No|no|| Haaaa! No! No, well no!

Non, en fait ça marche pas parce que c'est toi mon tue-l'amour! No|in|fact|it|it works|not|because|that|it's|you|my|| No, actually it doesn't work because you're my buzzkill!

Moi? Non c'est toi! - Si c'est toi, regarde ta tête, là! Me|No|it's|you|If|it's|you|look|your|head|there Me? No, it's you! - If it's you, look at your face, there!

Ah c'est ma tête? Ben tient, débrouille-toi tout seul. Ah|it's|my|head|well|here|||all|alone Oh, is it my head? Well then, figure it out on your own.

Allô! Je suis toujours en ligne. Hello|I|I am|still|on|line Hello! I'm still on the line.

Eh bien au revoir monsieur! Well|good|to the|goodbye|sir Well, goodbye sir!

Au revoir monsieur! To the|goodbye|sir Goodbye sir!

Ah bah c'était court alors! Oh|well|it was|short|then Oh well, that was short then!

"Le saviez-vous?" The|| "Did you know?"

L'excès de romantisme peut être considéré comme un tue-l'amour. The excess|of|romanticism|it can|to be|considered|as|a|| Excessive romanticism can be considered a passion killer.

Par exemple, les bougies qui déclanchent un incendie lors d'un rendez-vous galant For|example|the|candles|that|they trigger|a|fire|during|of a|||romantic For example, candles that start a fire during a date.

Entraînant de fait la suppression définitive de votre bien-aimé(é), Leading to|of|fact|the|removal|permanent|of|your||| Effectively leading to the permanent removal of your beloved,

peut-être littéralement un tue-l'amour! ||literally|a|| perhaps literally a love-killer!

#quelqu'un-connait-un-bon-avocat? #someone|knows|a|good|lawyer #does-anyone-know-a-good-lawyer?

♫ Tadudah! ♪ ♫ Tadudah! ♪

Et c'est la fin de ce numéro, très bonne année 2016! And|it's|the|end|of|this|number|very|good|year And that's the end of this issue, happy new year 2016!

Et j'ai fini mes merguez! And|I have|finished|my|merguez And I finished my merguez!

Salut les filles! Hi|the|girls Hi girls!

Hey! Salut! Hey|Hi Hey! Hi!

Bon du coup je me suis débarrassé de mon tue-l'amour. Well|of it|blow|I|myself|I am|gotten rid of|of|my|| Так я позбулася свого вбивці кохання. Well, I got rid of my love-killer.

Donc j'en ai une bonne pour vous. Vas-y, tire sur mon doigt? So|I have one|I have|a|good|for|you|||pull|on|my|finger So I have a good one for you. Go ahead, shoot my finger?

.... ....

Marche pas.... It works|not Doesn't work....

Mais du coup sans lui, c'est plus pareil... J'ai plus envie de péter, je... j'ai plus envie de rien. But|of it|consequence|without|him|it's|more|the same|I have|more|desire|to|to fart|I|I have|more|desire|to|nothing But without him, it's just not the same... I don't feel like breaking wind anymore, I... I don't feel like doing anything.

(Tristes:) Ohhhh. (Sad)| (Sad:) Ohhhh.

Oh allez vas-y, rappelle-le! - Tu crois? Oh|come on|||||You|you think Oh come on, call him back! - Do you think?

Oui! Yes Yes!

Ah mais du coup c'est moi qui ait son téléphone... Ah|but|of the|consequence|it's|me|who|I have|his|phone Oh but now it's me who has his phone...

(Tristes): Oohhh... (Sad)| (Sad): Oohhh...

*Sanglot* Quand ça veut pas ça veut pas, hein... Sobbing|When|it|it wants|not|it|it wants|not|right *Sob* When it doesn't want to, it just doesn't want to, huh...

(Générique:) ♪ Dudu♫ didi♫ dudu♫ didi♫ (Theme)|Dudu|didi|dudu|didi (Theme:) ♪ Dudu♫ didi♫ dudu♫ didi♫

Allez! Tu vois au moins, en amitié, y'a pas de tue-l'amour. Come on|You|you see|at least|less|in|friendship|there is|not|any|| Come on! You see, at least in friendship, there are no mood killers.

Non, mais peut y avoir des tue-l'amitié. No|but|it can|there|to have|some|| No, but there can be friendship killers.

Par exemple? For|example For example?

Par exemple... For|example For example...

Par exemple... Tu serais vénère si j'avais couché avec ta mère? For|example|You|you would be|angry|if|I had|slept|with|your|mother Наприклад... Ти б розлютився, якби я переспав з твоєю мамою? For example... Would you be angry if I slept with your mother?

Oui. Yes Yes.

Voilà. Bah ça va, j'ai couché avec ta soeur. There|Well|that|it's okay|I have|slept|with|your|sister There you go. Well, I slept with your sister.

J'ai pas de soeur. I have|not|any|sister I don't have a sister.

... Ah ouais. Oh|yeah ... Oh yeah.

Bah tu vas être vénère alors. Well|you|you will be|to be|angry|then Well, you're going to be angry then.

*Pouêt-pouêt!* |honk *Beep-beep!*

♫ Abonne-toi! ♪ ♫ Subscribe! ♪