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Assorted YouTube videos, How to Build Self-Esteem – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

How to Build Self-Esteem – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden

I want you to imagine two people.

The first man wakes up and does his usual routine before work, and it's all a blur.

He goes to work and when he comes home, he isn't even really conscious of what he did.

He starts eating the junk food he bought on his way home and watches TV while his wife

tries to talk to him.

Now imagine another man.

He wakes up and tells his wife how thankful he is for their life.

He drives over to his business and is passionately working to build it into something great.

He comes home, and he and his wife have dinner together while they stay present to the moment

with each other.

Out of these two people, which one do you think is going to have higher self-esteem?

The first pillar is the practice of living consciously.

Lately, my hair has been thinning.

What I haven't done is this: “Uh, how come John's hair isn't thinning?

How come John has better genetics?

Oh and did I mention that John is also 6 foot 4?”

Okay, the reason I haven't done that is because, that's a game you can't win.

I promise you.

I don't care who you are, even John can't win that game.

What I have done is what anyone who's practiced building self-esteem in their life would do,

and it is this: improve what you can change, and learn to accept what you can't.

Improve what you can change, and learn to accept what you can't.

Now let me address a common issue.

There are people who think that self-acceptance somehow goes against self-improvement.

It doesn't.

In fact, self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance.

If I didn't accept that my hair was thinning, I wouldn't start researching what the right

haircut needs to look like for me, and I would end up looking like Bobby Charlton.

The second pillar is the practice of self-acceptance.

I know a lot of people who are so physically unfit that it jeopardizes the most important

things in their life like their health and their relationships.

And when they get confronted about it, a lot of these people have learned a little trick

that has been really trending lately.

Apparently, everyone I know who is unhealthy is unhealthy because of a medical condition.

Now, let me just be clear that I'm not saying that these conditions don't exist.

I'm just saying that 19 out of 20 of these people don't have it.

If you do not exercise, if you do not eat healthy, you probably shouldn't be going

around telling people how you're overweight and unhealthy because of a medical condition.

Yeah, they might treat you like you're the victim, but guess what?

The only reason they sympathize with you is because the last thing they care about is

whether you're taking care of yourself or not.

The third pillar is the practice of self-responsibility.

I don't know of a single person who doesn't take responsibility, loves playing the victim

and also has high self-esteem.

If I had a kid and I could only teach him one thing before he went to college, it would

be how to stay authentic to his true self under pressure.

Other than special occasions with my girlfriend where I'll have some champagne, I don't

drink.

I haven't found that to be something of value to my life.

When I was in college, I would go out with my friends and there was always that thing

of, “Come on!

Let's get drunk.”

And I was bad at a lot of things, but the one thing I was really good at was being really

grounded in what I believed in.

In fact, in almost every case it turned into guys having respect for it and girls being

attracted to it.

Now again, I didn't say I sort of believed in it.

It was fully standing for what I believed in, 100% unapologetic, and if that was a problem,

everyone always knew I could just leave and go have fun somewhere else.

I wasn't half-assing anything.

The fourth pillar is the practice of self-assertiveness.

Now let me make it clear that asserting yourself doesn't mean lacking social awareness or

being pushy.

I didn't go to a party where I knew people would be drinking and start converting and

preaching.

Don't be stupid with this, it depends on the context.

I'm going to act a little differently if I'm in a classroom environment than if I'm

around friends, but I'm not going to go against my authentic self in either situation.

If you meet an entrepreneur who is passionate about his business, and if you also meet a

person who is indifferent towards his regular job, the entrepreneur will almost always have

higher self-esteem.

Why is that?

Because the entrepreneur is the modern day warrior.

Just like the warrior has a strong sense of purpose and lives to conquer, so does the

entrepreneur.

He has higher self-esteem because he lives with a purpose.

The fifth pillar is the practice of living purposefully.

And finally, the sixth pillar – the practice of personal integrity.

Notice how I said personal integrity, not someone else's integrity.

I went to a military academy and there were thousands of rules I had to follow, and I

broke most of them and it didn't bother me at all or affect my self-esteem in any

way, because those weren't the things that went against what I believed in.

But, if I act against what I believe in, my inner voice will tell me how I'm worthless

over and over again.

And only I will know, but when it comes to self-esteem, my inner voice is the one that

matters the most.

You can't have the voice in your head telling you how worthless you are and build self-esteem

at the same time.

And these are the six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden.

Notice how each pillar starts with “the practice of.”

Self-esteem is not something you build by reading a book or watching a video; it is

something you build by constant practice for the rest of your life.

How to Build Self-Esteem – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden Wie man Selbstwertgefühl aufbaut - Die sechs Säulen des Selbstwertgefühls von Nathaniel Branden How to Build Self-Esteem – The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden Cómo construir la autoestima - Los seis pilares de la autoestima por Nathaniel Branden 自尊心を構築する方法 – 自尊心の6つの柱 ナサニエル・ブランデン著 자존감을 키우는 방법 - 나다니엘 브랜든의 자존감의 여섯 가지 기둥 Kaip stiprinti savivertę - Nathanielio Brandeno šeši savivertės ramsčiai Jak budować poczucie własnej wartości - Sześć filarów poczucia własnej wartości autorstwa Nathaniela Brandena Como construir a autoestima - Os seis pilares da autoestima por Nathaniel Branden Как повысить самооценку - Шесть столпов самооценки, Натаниэль Бранден Як підвищити самооцінку - Шість стовпів самооцінки від Натаніеля Брандена 如何建立自尊——自尊的六大支柱作者:纳撒尼尔·布兰登

I want you to imagine two people. Quero que imaginem duas pessoas.

The first man wakes up and does his usual routine before work, and it's all a blur. Der erste Mann wacht auf und macht seine übliche Routine vor der Arbeit, und alles ist verschwommen. 最初の男は目を覚まし、仕事の前にいつものルーチンを行いますが、それはすべてぼやけています. O primeiro homem acorda e faz a sua rotina habitual antes do trabalho, e tudo se torna num borrão.

He goes to work and when he comes home, he isn't even really conscious of what he did. Er geht zur Arbeit und wenn er nach Hause kommt, ist ihm nicht einmal wirklich bewusst, was er getan hat. 彼は仕事に行き、家に帰ったとき、自分が何をしたかをあまり意識していません。 Vai para o trabalho e, quando chega a casa, nem sequer tem consciência do que fez.

He starts eating the junk food he bought on his way home and watches TV while his wife 帰りに買ってきたジャンクフードを食べ始め、妻と一緒にテレビを見る。 Começa a comer a comida de plástico que comprou a caminho de casa e vê televisão enquanto a sua mulher

tries to talk to him. versucht mit ihm zu reden. 彼と話そうとします。

Now imagine another man.

He wakes up and tells his wife how thankful he is for their life. 彼は目を覚まし、妻に自分の人生にどれほど感謝しているかを伝えます. Acorda e diz à sua mulher que está grato pela vida deles.

He drives over to his business and is passionately working to build it into something great. Er fährt zu seinem Geschäft und arbeitet leidenschaftlich daran, es zu etwas Großartigem auszubauen. 彼は自分のビジネスに乗り込み、それを素晴らしいものにしようと情熱を持って取り組んでいます。 Dirige-se ao seu negócio e trabalha com paixão para o transformar em algo grandioso.

He comes home, and he and his wife have dinner together while they stay present to the moment Er kommt nach Hause und er und seine Frau essen zusammen zu Abend, während sie für den Moment anwesend bleiben 彼は家に帰り、彼と彼の妻は一緒に夕食をとり、彼らはその場に留まっています Chega a casa e janta com a mulher, mantendo-se presentes no momento

with each other. miteinander.

Out of these two people, which one do you think is going to have higher self-esteem? Welche von diesen beiden Personen wird deiner Meinung nach ein höheres Selbstwertgefühl haben? この二人のうち、どちらが自尊心が高いと思いますか? Destas duas pessoas, qual é que achas que vai ter uma maior autoestima?

The first pillar is the practice of living consciously. Die erste Säule ist die Praxis des bewussten Lebens. 第一の柱は意識的に生きることです。 O primeiro pilar é a prática de viver conscientemente.

Lately, my hair has been thinning. In letzter Zeit sind meine Haare dünner geworden. Ultimamente, o meu cabelo está a ficar mais fino.

What I haven't done is this: “Uh, how come John's hair isn't thinning? Was ich nicht getan habe, ist Folgendes: „Äh, wie kommt es, dass Johns Haare nicht dünner werden? O que eu não fiz foi isto: "Como é que o cabelo do John não está a ficar mais fino?

How come John has better genetics? Wie kommt es, dass John eine bessere Genetik hat? ジョンの遺伝子が優れているのはなぜですか? Como é que o John tem uma genética melhor?

Oh and did I mention that John is also 6 foot 4?” Oh, und habe ich erwähnt, dass John auch 6 Fuß 4 groß ist?“ Ah, e já disse que o John também tem 1,80 m?"

Okay, the reason I haven't done that is because, that's a game you can't win. Okay, der Grund, warum ich das nicht getan habe, ist, weil das ein Spiel ist, das man nicht gewinnen kann. Ok, a razão pela qual não o fiz é porque esse é um jogo que não se pode ganhar.

I promise you.

I don't care who you are, even John can't win that game. Es ist mir egal, wer Sie sind, nicht einmal John kann dieses Spiel gewinnen. Não me interessa quem és, nem o John consegue ganhar esse jogo.

What I have done is what anyone who's practiced building self-esteem in their life would do, Was ich getan habe, ist das, was jeder tun würde, der in seinem Leben geübt hat, Selbstwertgefühl aufzubauen, 私がやったことは、人生で自尊心を築く練習をした人なら誰でもすることです。 O que eu fiz foi o que qualquer pessoa que tenha praticado a construção da autoestima na sua vida faria,

and it is this: improve what you can change, and learn to accept what you can't. und es ist dies: Verbessere, was du ändern kannst, und lerne zu akzeptieren, was du nicht kannst. e é o seguinte: melhorar o que se pode mudar e aprender a aceitar o que não se pode.

Improve what you can change, and learn to accept what you can't. Verbessere, was du ändern kannst, und lerne zu akzeptieren, was du nicht kannst.

Now let me address a common issue. Lassen Sie mich nun ein allgemeines Problem ansprechen. ここで、よくある問題を取り上げましょう。 Permitam-me agora abordar uma questão comum.

There are people who think that self-acceptance somehow goes against self-improvement. Es gibt Leute, die denken, dass Selbstakzeptanz irgendwie der Selbstverbesserung widerspricht. 自己受容はどういうわけか自己改善に反すると考える人がいます. Há pessoas que pensam que a auto-aceitação vai de alguma forma contra o auto-aperfeiçoamento.

It doesn't. Das tut es nicht.

In fact, self-improvement can only follow self-acceptance. Tatsächlich kann Selbstverbesserung nur der Selbstakzeptanz folgen. 実際、自己改善は自己受容にのみ従うことができます。

If I didn't accept that my hair was thinning, I wouldn't start researching what the right Wenn ich nicht akzeptieren würde, dass mein Haar dünner wird, würde ich nicht anfangen zu recherchieren, was das Richtige ist Se eu não aceitasse que o meu cabelo estava a enfraquecer, não começaria a pesquisar qual seria o

haircut needs to look like for me, and I would end up looking like Bobby Charlton. Haarschnitt muss für mich so aussehen, und ich würde am Ende aussehen wie Bobby Charlton. ヘアカットは私に似ている必要があり、最終的にはボビー・チャールトンのようになります. o corte de cabelo tem de ser para mim, e eu acabaria por me parecer com o Bobby Charlton.

The second pillar is the practice of self-acceptance. Die zweite Säule ist die Praxis der Selbstakzeptanz. O segundo pilar é a prática da auto-aceitação.

I know a lot of people who are so physically unfit that it jeopardizes the most important Ich kenne viele Menschen, die körperlich so unfit sind, dass das Wichtigste gefährdet ist Conheço muitas pessoas que não estão em boa forma física, o que põe em causa o mais importante

things in their life like their health and their relationships. Dinge in ihrem Leben wie ihre Gesundheit und ihre Beziehungen. coisas na sua vida, como a sua saúde e as suas relações.

And when they get confronted about it, a lot of these people have learned a little trick Und wenn sie damit konfrontiert werden, haben viele dieser Leute einen kleinen Trick gelernt そして、彼らがそれについて直面したとき、これらの人々の多くはちょっとしたトリックを学びました. E quando são confrontadas com isso, muitas dessas pessoas aprenderam um pequeno truque

that has been really trending lately. das ist in letzter Zeit wirklich angesagt. それが最近本当に流行っています。 que tem estado muito em voga ultimamente.

Apparently, everyone I know who is unhealthy is unhealthy because of a medical condition. Anscheinend ist jeder, den ich kenne, der krank ist, aufgrund einer Krankheit krank. どうやら、私が知っている不健康な人は皆、病状のために不健康です. Aparentemente, todas as pessoas que conheço que não são saudáveis são-no devido a um problema de saúde.

Now, let me just be clear that I'm not saying that these conditions don't exist. Lassen Sie mich jetzt klarstellen, dass ich nicht sage, dass diese Bedingungen nicht existieren. Deixem-me esclarecer que não estou a dizer que estas condições não existem.

I'm just saying that 19 out of 20 of these people don't have it. Ich sage nur, dass 19 von 20 dieser Leute es nicht haben. Estou apenas a dizer que 19 em cada 20 destas pessoas não o têm.

If you do not exercise, if you do not eat healthy, you probably shouldn't be going Wenn Sie nicht trainieren, wenn Sie sich nicht gesund ernähren, sollten Sie wahrscheinlich nicht gehen Se não faz exercício físico, se não tem uma alimentação saudável, provavelmente não deveria ir

around telling people how you're overweight and unhealthy because of a medical condition. herum, Leuten zu erzählen, dass Sie aufgrund einer Krankheit übergewichtig und ungesund sind. dizer às pessoas que tem excesso de peso e não é saudável devido a uma doença.

Yeah, they might treat you like you're the victim, but guess what? Ja, sie behandeln dich vielleicht, als wärst du das Opfer, aber weißt du was? ええ、彼らはあなたを被害者のように扱うかもしれませんが、どう思いますか? Sim, podem tratar-te como se fosses a vítima, mas sabes que mais?

The only reason they sympathize with you is because the last thing they care about is Der einzige Grund, warum sie mit dir sympathisieren, ist, weil das Letzte, was sie interessiert, ist A única razão pela qual eles simpatizam consigo é porque a última coisa que lhes interessa é

whether you're taking care of yourself or not. ob du dich um dich selbst kümmerst oder nicht. quer estejamos a cuidar de nós próprios ou não.

The third pillar is the practice of self-responsibility. Die dritte Säule ist die gelebte Eigenverantwortung. O terceiro pilar é a prática da auto-responsabilidade.

I don't know of a single person who doesn't take responsibility, loves playing the victim Ich kenne keine einzige Person, die keine Verantwortung übernimmt, die es liebt, das Opfer zu spielen 責任を取らず、被害者を演じるのが好きな人を一人も知りません Não conheço uma única pessoa que não assuma responsabilidades, que adore fazer-se de vítima

and also has high self-esteem. e também tem uma elevada autoestima.

If I had a kid and I could only teach him one thing before he went to college, it would Se eu tivesse um filho e só pudesse ensinar-lhe uma coisa antes de ele ir para a universidade, essa coisa seria

be how to stay authentic to his true self under pressure. ser como se manter autêntico ao seu verdadeiro "eu" sob pressão.

Other than special occasions with my girlfriend where I'll have some champagne, I don't Para além de ocasiões especiais com a minha namorada, em que bebo champanhe, não

drink.

I haven't found that to be something of value to my life. Não achei que isso fosse algo de valor para a minha vida.

When I was in college, I would go out with my friends and there was always that thing Quando andava na faculdade, saía com os meus amigos e havia sempre aquela coisa

of, “Come on!

Let's get drunk.”

And I was bad at a lot of things, but the one thing I was really good at was being really E eu era mau em muitas coisas, mas a única coisa em que eu era realmente bom era ser realmente

grounded in what I believed in. fundamentado naquilo em que acreditava.

In fact, in almost every case it turned into guys having respect for it and girls being De facto, em quase todos os casos, os rapazes passaram a respeitá-la e as raparigas a

attracted to it.

Now again, I didn't say I sort of believed in it. Mais uma vez, eu não disse que acreditava nisso.

It was fully standing for what I believed in, 100% unapologetic, and if that was a problem, Era defender totalmente aquilo em que acreditava, 100% sem desculpas, e se isso fosse um problema,

everyone always knew I could just leave and go have fun somewhere else. todos sempre souberam que eu podia ir embora e divertir-me noutro lugar.

I wasn't half-assing anything. Não estava a fazer nada a meias.

The fourth pillar is the practice of self-assertiveness. O quarto pilar é a prática da auto-afirmação.

Now let me make it clear that asserting yourself doesn't mean lacking social awareness or Deixem-me esclarecer que afirmar-se não significa falta de consciência social ou

being pushy. ser insistente.

I didn't go to a party where I knew people would be drinking and start converting and Não fui a uma festa onde sabia que as pessoas estariam a beber e começariam a converter-se e

preaching. pregação.

Don't be stupid with this, it depends on the context. Não sejas estúpido com isto, depende do contexto.

I'm going to act a little differently if I'm in a classroom environment than if I'm Vou agir de forma um pouco diferente se estiver num ambiente de sala de aula do que se estiver

around friends, but I'm not going to go against my authentic self in either situation. perto de amigos, mas não vou contrariar o meu "eu" autêntico em nenhuma das situações.

If you meet an entrepreneur who is passionate about his business, and if you also meet a Se conhecer um empresário apaixonado pela sua atividade, e se conhecer também um

person who is indifferent towards his regular job, the entrepreneur will almost always have uma pessoa que é indiferente ao seu trabalho regular, o empresário terá quase sempre

higher self-esteem.

Why is that? Porquê?

Because the entrepreneur is the modern day warrior. Porque o empresário é o guerreiro dos tempos modernos.

Just like the warrior has a strong sense of purpose and lives to conquer, so does the Tal como o guerreiro tem um forte sentido de objetivo e vive para conquistar, também o

entrepreneur.

He has higher self-esteem because he lives with a purpose. Tem uma maior autoestima porque vive com um objetivo.

The fifth pillar is the practice of living purposefully. O quinto pilar é a prática de viver com um objetivo.

And finally, the sixth pillar – the practice of personal integrity. E, finalmente, o sexto pilar - a prática da integridade pessoal.

Notice how I said personal integrity, not someone else's integrity. Reparem que eu disse integridade pessoal e não integridade de outra pessoa.

I went to a military academy and there were thousands of rules I had to follow, and I Andei numa academia militar e havia milhares de regras que tinha de seguir, e eu

broke most of them and it didn't bother me at all or affect my self-esteem in any Parti a maior parte delas e isso não me incomodou nem afectou a minha autoestima de forma alguma.

way, because those weren't the things that went against what I believed in. porque não eram essas as coisas que iam contra aquilo em que eu acreditava.

But, if I act against what I believe in, my inner voice will tell me how I'm worthless Mas, se eu agir contra aquilo em que acredito, a minha voz interior dir-me-á que não valho nada

over and over again.

And only I will know, but when it comes to self-esteem, my inner voice is the one that E só eu saberei, mas quando se trata de autoestima, a minha voz interior é a que

matters the most.

You can't have the voice in your head telling you how worthless you are and build self-esteem Não se pode ter a voz na cabeça a dizer-nos que não valemos nada e construir a autoestima

at the same time.

And these are the six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden. E estes são os seis pilares da autoestima de Nathaniel Branden.

Notice how each pillar starts with “the practice of.” Repara como cada pilar começa com "a prática de".

Self-esteem is not something you build by reading a book or watching a video; it is A autoestima não é algo que se constrói lendo um livro ou vendo um vídeo; é

something you build by constant practice for the rest of your life. algo que se constrói através da prática constante para o resto da vida.