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The School of Life, You Should Finally Leave School

You Should Finally Leave School

Technically, most of us leave school at 18 - an event that tends to be vividly etched

in memory and surrounded by considerable ceremony and emotion. And yet, rather oddly, despite

appearances, many of us in fact don't manage to leave school at that point at all. In a

deep part of our minds, we may still be there, deep into adulthood, not sitting in a classroom

precisely, but in terms of how our minds work, as much stuck within the confines of a school-based

world-view as if we were showing up for assembly every day - generating immense and unnecessary

degrees of unhappiness and compromise for ourselves in the process.

What might be some of the hallmarks of an enduring school-like way of thinking:

1. - First and foremost, a firm belief that those in authority know what they are doing and that one's task is to obey and jump through the hoops they set for us. A desire

to please teachers and gain prizes, cups and ribbons.

2 - A sense that there is an implicit curriculum out there - an externally mandated map of

what one needs to do to succeed - and that a wise person must dutifully subscribe to

its demands.

3 - A feeling that work should - when it's going well - feel substantially irksome, dull

and somewhat pointless. Schools teach us to forget, or ignore, the clues offered to us

by our own boredom. They teach us dangerous degrees of patience. They subtly train us

in intellectual masochism.

4 - You're doing it for someone else; an audience. Your teachers and your parents,

and their substitutes in adult life. Make us proud. You have to shine. We've given

you so much. What matters is the performance, not any inner sense of satisfaction.

5. - Authority is benign. They want what is good for you and they speak on behalf of your long-term interests. Don't think you could ever know better; distrust your instincts.

We'll look after you. If you follow our rules, you will thrive.

6 - The exam (and all its successors) are fundamentally accurate. They, those who know,

have worked out the ultimate test of your value. You are what you score.

7 - Every school is in addition a miniature society - equipped with a strong sense of

what values to revere and codes to follow. Bullies lurk, ready to mock and identify any

departures from the norm. You can't escape them; they are next to you in class every

day. They will spot and persecute the weirdos; they can ruin your life. You learn to cower

and adjust your attitudes. Following the herd is paramount.

All these ways of thinking don't require us to be sitting in a geography class. We

might be in an office selling garden furniture to the Belgian market and thinking like this;

we might have children of our own and by all appearances be an adult, and yet still be

living inside as though there were ‘exams' to pass and cups to be won. What would it

mean to break the mold? What would it mean finally to leave school?

To know some of the following:

1. - That there is no one way, no guarantee of one set path to fulfilment laid out by authority figures. ‘They' don't know. No one knows.

2. - The safe path may be entirely dangerous to our flourishing. 3. - Our boredom is a vital tool. It is telling us what is slowly killing us - and reminding us that time is monstrously short.

4. - Authority is not by definition benign. The teachers and their substitutes have no real plan for you - except in so far as it suits their own advancement. It looks like

they want your supreme good but in reality they want you to play their game for their

own benefit. At the end, they have no proper prize to offer you. They'll give you a colourful

card and send you to the golf course and the grave and have wasted your life.

5. - It doesn't matter what the bullies think. No one is normal. You can dare to make enemies; indeed you must do so as the price to pay for having developed a character and

found something truly to believe in.

We shouldn't be tough on ourselves for lingering so long. School is an immensely impressive

system. We start there when we are not much bigger than a chair. For more than a decade,

it's all we know, it is the outside world - and is what those who love us most tell

us we should respect. It speaks with immense authority not just about itself, but about

life in general. It is sold to us as a preparation for the whole of existence. But of course,

the main thing it does is to prepare us for yet more school; it is an education in how

to thrive within its own profoundly peculiar rules - with only a tenuous connection to

the world beyond.

Knowing all this, we might do a very strange-sounding thing, finally work up the courage to leave

our inner school, be it at 28, 35 or 62 - and enter the wider boundless world we have been

in flight from for too long.

At The School Of Life we believe that confidence is a skill we can all learn.

Our confidence prompt cards are designed to help us master this essential skill. Click now to learn more.

You Should Finally Leave School Du solltest endlich die Schule verlassen Por fin deberías dejar la escuela Tu devrais enfin quitter l'école Dovreste finalmente lasciare la scuola あなたはついに学校を辞めるべき 드디어 학교를 떠나야 할 때 Je moet eindelijk van school af Powinieneś w końcu opuścić szkołę Finalmente deves deixar a escola Вы должны наконец оставить школу Sonunda Okulu Bırakmalısın Ти повинен нарешті піти зі школи 你终于应该离开学校了

Technically, most of us leave school at 18 - an event that tends to be vividly etched Technisch gesehen verlassen die meisten von uns die Schule mit 18 Jahren - ein Ereignis, das in der Regel lebhaft geätzt wird Techniquement, la plupart d'entre nous quittons l'école à 18 ans - un événement qui a tendance à être vivement gravé Teknik olarak, çoğumuz okulu 18 yaşında terk ederiz - bu, canlı bir şekilde kazınmaya meyilli bir olaydır.

in memory and surrounded by considerable ceremony and emotion. And yet, rather oddly, despite en mémoire et entouré d'un cérémonial et d'une émotion considérables. Et pourtant, assez curieusement, malgré hafızada ve hatırı sayılır tören ve duygularla çevrili. Ve yine de, oldukça tuhaf bir şekilde

appearances, many of us in fact don't manage to leave school at that point at all. In a appearances, many of us in fact don't manage to leave school at that point at all. In a apparences, beaucoup d'entre nous n'arrivent pas du tout à quitter l'école à ce moment-là. Dans un görünüşe bakılırsa, çoğumuz aslında o noktada okulu bırakmayı başaramıyoruz. İçinde

deep part of our minds, we may still be there, deep into adulthood, not sitting in a classroom partie profonde de nos esprits, nous pouvons encore être là, profondément dans l'âge adulte, pas assis dans une salle de classe zihnimizin derin bir parçası, hala orada olabiliriz, yetişkinliğin derinliklerinde, bir sınıfta oturmuyor olabiliriz

precisely, but in terms of how our minds work, as much stuck within the confines of a school-based précisément, mais en termes de fonctionnement de nos esprits, autant coincés dans les limites d'une école

world-view as if we were showing up for assembly every day - generating immense and unnecessary Weltanschauung, als ob wir jeden Tag zur Versammlung erscheinen würden - immens und unnötig

degrees of unhappiness and compromise for ourselves in the process.

What might be some of the hallmarks of an enduring school-like way of thinking: 持続的な学校的思考の特徴のいくつかは次のとおりです:

1\. - First and foremost, a firm belief that those in authority know what they are doing 1\\. - D'abord et avant tout, une ferme conviction que ceux qui détiennent l'autorité savent ce qu'ils font 1. - まず第一に、権威者が何をしているかを知っているという確固たる信念があり、 and that one's task is to obey and jump through the hoops they set for us. A desire et que notre tâche est d'obéir et de sauter à travers les cerceaux qu'ils nous ont fixés. Un désir そして自分の仕事は従い、彼らが設定したハードルを飛び越えることです。欲望

to please teachers and gain prizes, cups and ribbons.

2 - A sense that there is an implicit curriculum out there - an externally mandated map of

what one needs to do to succeed - and that a wise person must dutifully subscribe to

its demands.

3 - A feeling that work should - when it's going well - feel substantially irksome, dull 3 - Чувство, что работа должна - когда она идет хорошо - быть существенно утомительной, скучной.

and somewhat pointless. Schools teach us to forget, or ignore, the clues offered to us и в некоторой степени бессмысленным. Школы учат нас забывать или игнорировать подсказки, которые нам предлагают.

by our own boredom. They teach us dangerous degrees of patience. They subtly train us aus eigener Langeweile. Sie lehren uns gefährliche Grade der Geduld. Sie trainieren uns subtil нашей собственной скукой. Они учат нас опасным степеням терпения. Они тонко обучают нас

in intellectual masochism.

4 - You're doing it for someone else; an audience. Your teachers and your parents,

and their substitutes in adult life. Make us proud. You have to shine. We've given

you so much. What matters is the performance, not any inner sense of satisfaction. вы так много делаете. Важен результат, а не внутреннее чувство удовлетворения.

5\. - Authority is benign. They want what is good for you and they speak on behalf of your 5\. - Власть благотворна. Они желают вам добра и говорят от вашего имени. long-term interests. Don't think you could ever know better; distrust your instincts. долгосрочные интересы. Не думайте, что вы можете знать лучше; не доверяйте своим инстинктам.

We'll look after you. If you follow our rules, you will thrive. 私たちはあなたの面倒を見ます。私たちのルールに従えば、成長することができます。

6 - The exam (and all its successors) are fundamentally accurate. They, those who know, 6 - 試験は(そしてそのすべての後継者も)基本的に正確である。彼ら、知る人ぞ知る、 6 - Экзамен (и все его преемники) принципиально точен. Они, те, кто знает,

have worked out the ultimate test of your value. You are what you score. разработали окончательный тест на вашу ценность. Вы - это то, что вы оцениваете.

7 - Every school is in addition a miniature society - equipped with a strong sense of

what values to revere and codes to follow. Bullies lurk, ready to mock and identify any какие ценности следует почитать и каким кодексам следовать. Хулиганы затаились, готовые высмеять и выявить любую

departures from the norm. You can't escape them; they are next to you in class every отклонений от нормы. От них невозможно убежать: они рядом с вами в классе каждый день.

day. They will spot and persecute the weirdos; they can ruin your life. You learn to cower день. Они будут выявлять и преследовать чудаков; они могут разрушить вашу жизнь. Ты учишься трусить

and adjust your attitudes. Following the herd is paramount.

All these ways of thinking don't require us to be sitting in a geography class. We

might be in an office selling garden furniture to the Belgian market and thinking like this;

we might have children of our own and by all appearances be an adult, and yet still be мы могли бы иметь собственных детей и, судя по всему, быть взрослыми, и все же оставаться

living inside as though there were ‘exams' to pass and cups to be won. What would it жить так, как будто есть "экзамены", которые нужно сдать, и кубки, которые нужно выиграть. Что бы это было

mean to break the mold? What would it mean finally to leave school? значит сломать плесень? Что значит окончательно покинуть школу?

To know some of the following:

1\. - That there is no one way, no guarantee of one set path to fulfilment laid out by authority figures. ‘They' don't know. No one knows. авторитетные личности. Они не знают. Никто не знает.

2\. - The safe path may be entirely dangerous to our flourishing. 2\. - Безопасный путь может быть совершенно опасным для нашего процветания. 3\. - Our boredom is a vital tool. It is telling us what is slowly killing us - and reminding 3\. - Наша скука - это жизненно важный инструмент. Она говорит нам о том, что медленно убивает нас - и напоминает. us that time is monstrously short.

4\. - Authority is not by definition benign. The teachers and their substitutes have no 4\. - Власть по определению не является благодетельной. Учителя и их заместители не имеют real plan for you - except in so far as it suits their own advancement. It looks like реальные планы для вас - за исключением тех случаев, когда это соответствует их собственному продвижению. Это выглядит следующим образом

they want your supreme good but in reality they want you to play their game for their они хотят вашего высшего блага, но на самом деле они хотят, чтобы вы играли в их игру для их

own benefit. At the end, they have no proper prize to offer you. They'll give you a colourful собственную выгоду. В конце концов, у них нет достойного приза, чтобы предложить вам. Они дадут вам красочный

card and send you to the golf course and the grave and have wasted your life. карточку и отправил вас на поле для гольфа и в могилу, и вы потратили свою жизнь впустую.

5\. - It doesn't matter what the bullies think. No one is normal. You can dare to make 5\. - Неважно, что думают хулиганы. Никто не является нормальным. Ты можешь осмелиться сделать enemies; indeed you must do so as the price to pay for having developed a character and врагов; действительно, вы должны делать это как цену, которую придется заплатить за развитие характера и

found something truly to believe in. нашел что-то, во что действительно можно верить.

We shouldn't be tough on ourselves for lingering so long. School is an immensely impressive Мы не должны быть строги к себе за то, что так долго задерживаемся. Школа - это впечатляющий

system. We start there when we are not much bigger than a chair. For more than a decade,

it's all we know, it is the outside world - and is what those who love us most tell это все, что мы знаем, это внешний мир - и это то, что говорят те, кто любит нас больше всего.

us we should respect. It speaks with immense authority not just about itself, but about

life in general. It is sold to us as a preparation for the whole of existence. But of course, жизнь в целом. Она продается нам как подготовка ко всему существованию. Но, конечно,

the main thing it does is to prepare us for yet more school; it is an education in how главное, что он делает, это готовит нас к еще большей школе; это образование в том, как

to thrive within its own profoundly peculiar rules - with only a tenuous connection to процветать в рамках своих собственных, глубоко своеобразных правил - с лишь слабой связью с

the world beyond.

Knowing all this, we might do a very strange-sounding thing, finally work up the courage to leave Зная все это, мы можем совершить очень странный поступок - наконец-то набраться смелости и уйти.

our inner school, be it at 28, 35 or 62 - and enter the wider boundless world we have been свою внутреннюю школу, будь то в 28, 35 или 62 года - и войти в более широкий безграничный мир, который мы были

in flight from for too long. в бегстве слишком долго.

At The School Of Life we believe that confidence is a skill we can all learn.

Our confidence prompt cards are designed to help us master this essential skill. Click now to learn more.