Uber avant VS Uber maintenant Uber|before|versus||now Uber antes VS Uber agora Uber before VS Uber now

UBER AVANT : - Monsieur désire une bouteille d'eau ? - Comment ça ? UBER|BEFORE|Sir|he desires|a|bottle|of water|How|that UBER BEFORE: - Sir, would you like a bottle of water? - What do you mean?

- Alors nous avons de la Vittel... Excellente pour les sportifs... So|we|we have|some|the|Vittel|Excellent|for|the|athletes - Well, we have Vittel... Excellent for athletes...

... de la Volvic très bon pour se régénérer... of|the|Volvic|very|good|for|oneself|to regenerate ... and Volvic, very good for rehydration...

... et nous avons du Schweppes tonic ! and|we|we have|some|Schweppes|tonic ... and we have Schweppes tonic!

UBER APRÈS : - Excusez-moi, vous n'avez pas des bouteilles d'eau ? UBER|AFTER|||you|you don't have|any|some|bottles|of water UBER AFTER: - Excuse me, don't you have any bottles of water?

- Non ! Il y a pas... Y a pas ! No|It|there|there is|not|There|there is|not - No! There are none... There are none!

- Et vous avez ... Schweppes tonic... Vous faites plus ? And|you|you have|Schweppes|tonic|You|you make|more - And you have ... Schweppes tonic... You don't have more?

- Ah ! Tonic ! Tu me dis... Tu me dis pas Tonic ! Tu me dis pas Tonic ! Hein ! Oh|Tonic|You|me|you say||||not|||||||Right - Ah! Tonic! You tell me... You don't tell me Tonic! You don't tell me Tonic! Huh!

- Pardon... - Oh ! Tu dis pas Tonic ! Hein ! Il est fou lui... Sorry|Oh|You|you say|not||Right|He|he is|crazy|him - Sorry... - Oh! You don't say Tonic! Huh! He's crazy...

UBER AVANT : UBER|BEFORE UBER BEFORE:

- Excusez-moi vous avez un chargeur ? - Oui, tout à fait ! Alors... ||you|you have|a|charger|Yes|all|to|done|So - Excuse me, do you have a charger? - Yes, absolutely! So...

... J'ai iPhone 4... iPhone 5... iPhone 6... iPhone X... Huawei et j'ai même... I have|iPhone||||X|Huawei|and|I have|even ... I have iPhone 4... iPhone 5... iPhone 6... iPhone X... Huawei and I even have...

... une prise péritel, voilà... a|socket|SCART|there you go ... a SCART socket, there you go...

UBER APRÈS : - Non il y a pas de souci, tu dis à Ali Il me rends mon argent... Il y a pas de problème... UBER|AFTER|No|it|there|there is|not|any|problem|you|you say|to|Ali|He|to me|you give back|my|money|He|there|there is|not|any|problem UBER AFTER: - No, there's no problem, you tell Ali to give me my money back... There's no issue...

... Ouais ! On va descendre là... Ouais ouais ! Il y a pas de... il y a pas de.... Ouais, non t'inquiète... Yeah|We|we go|to go down|there|Yeah|yeah|It|there|there is|not|any|it|there|there is|not|any|Yeah|no|don't worry ... Yeah! We're going down there... Yeah yeah! There's no... there's no.... Yeah, don't worry...

- Excusez-moi je peux ? - Mais ferme ta gueule ! Qu'est-ce qu'il y a ? Tu vois pas que je suis au téléphone ! ||I|I can|But|shut|your|mouth|||that it|there|there is|You|you see|not|that|I|I am|on the|phone - Excuse me, can I? - But shut up! What's wrong? Can't you see I'm on the phone!

- C'est ça que tu cherches Tu veux charger ton iPhone. T'as payé pour ça ? It's|that|that|you|you are looking for|You|you want|to charge|your|iPhone|You have|paid|for|that - Is that what you're looking for? You want to charge your iPhone. Did you pay for that?

- Non ! - Bah ! Ferme ta gueule alors ! Bah ! Ouais gros... Il y a un client il me casse les couilles... No|Well|Shut|your|mouth|then|Well|Yeah|dude|He|there|there is|a|customer|he|to me|he breaks|the|balls - No! - Well! Then shut up! Well! Yeah man... There's a customer who's bothering me...

... Il veut charger son iPhone... Il a cru que j'étais EDF ! He|he wants|to charge|his|iPhone|He|he has|believed|that|I was|EDF ... He wants to charge his iPhone... He thought I was EDF!

UBER AVANT : - On a toujours tout eu... On a toujours tout eu ! UBER|BEFORE|We|we have|always|everything|had||||| UBER BEFORE: - We always had everything... We always had everything!

... en fait c'est pas... C'est pas si facile... Quand tu... Merci ! in|fact|it's|not|||so|easy|When|you|Thank you ... in fact it's not... It's not that easy... When you... Thank you!

- Moi, j'aime pas les pitch... (Pleurs) ... J'aime pas avec les pitch... les... Me|I like|not|the|pitches|Tears|I like|not|with|the|pitches| - I don't like pitches... (Crying) ... I don't like pitches... the...

- C'est bien ! Faut lâcher ! Faut lâcher ! It's|good|We must|let go|| - It's good! You have to let go! You have to let go!

- Le patient souffre d'un choc post-traumatique... The|patient|he suffers|from a|shock|| - The patient suffers from post-traumatic shock...

UBER APRÈS : [Musique] UBER|AFTER|Music UBER AFTER: [Music]

- On y va là ? We|there|we go|there - Are we going there?

... ...

- Putain ! La pute, elle a pas matché !... Damn|The|whore|she|she has|not|matched - Damn! The bitch, she didn't match!...

.. Putain la salope !... Damn|the|bitch .. Damn the slut!...

- Tu sais comment on fait ? Pour matcher avec une meuf qui veut pas matcher avec toi ? You|you know|how|we|we do|To|to match|with|a|girl|who|she wants|not|to match|with|you - Do you know how to do it? To match with a girl who doesn't want to match with you?

- Ben ! Tu... - Vas-y ! Ferme ta gueule ! Well|You|||Close|your|mouth - Well! You... - Go on! Shut your mouth!

UBER AVANT : Monsieur ! Comment s'est passé votre voyage ? UBER|BEFORE|Sir|How|it is|spent|your|trip UBER BEFORE: Sir! How was your trip?

... Voulez-vous que je porte vos valises jusqu'à votre appartement... ||that|I|I carry|your|suitcases|to|your|apartment ... Do you want me to carry your bags to your apartment...

... situé au 11ème étage sans ascenseur. C'est ça ? located|on the|11th|floor|without|elevator|It's|that ... located on the 11th floor without an elevator. Is that right?

... Je peux nettoyer aussi votre appartement. Ah j'ai tout ce qu'il faut ! ... I|I can|to clean|also|your|apartment|Ah|I have|everything|that|that it|is needed ... I can also clean your apartment. Ah, I have everything I need! ...

... X-TRA Total, très bien pour les chaussettes et les slips... ||Total|very|well|for|the|socks|and|the|underwear ... X-TRA Total, very good for socks and underwear...

... Je peux nettoyer aussi la salle de bain, les toilettes, avec du CIF... I|I can|to clean|also|the|room|of|bath|the|toilets|with|some|CIF ... I can also clean the bathroom, the toilets, with CIF...

... Vous avez un chien ? Je promène votre chien !... Je nettoie votre chien aussi ! You|you have|a|dog|I|I walk|your|dog|I|I clean|your|dog|also ... Do you have a dog? I walk your dog! ... I also clean your dog!

... Je lave votre femme aussi ! Vous avez pas de femme ? Pas de problème ! Je vous lave, vous. I|I wash|your|wife|also|You|you have|not|any|wife|Not|any|problem|I|you|I wash|you ... I wash your wife too! Don't have a wife? No problem! I'll wash you.

... Avec un nettoyage géolocalisé !... Je frotte ! Regardez dans les commentaires : je suis un grand frotteur ! With|a|cleaning|geolocalized|I|I scrub|Look|in|the|comments|I|I am|a|big|scrubber ... With a geolocalized cleaning!... I'm scrubbing! Look in the comments: I'm a great scrubber!

UBER APRÈS : - C'est bon ! On est arrivé. Récupère ta valise et rentre chez toi. ||It's|good|We|we are|arrived|Get|your|suitcase|and|go home|at|you UBER AFTER: - It's good! We have arrived. Grab your suitcase and go home.

- Mais ! Mais, j'habite pas là, moi. C'est pas chez moi, là. - Tu habites où ? But||I live|not|there|me|It's|not|at|me|there|You|you live|where - But! But, I don't live here. This isn't my home. - Where do you live?

- Ben j'habite... J'sais pas... à 3 km au moins. Well|I live|I know|not|at|km|at|least - Well, I live... I don't know... at least 3 km away.

- Vas-y prends ta valise... et tu marches ! ||take|your|suitcase|and|you|you walk - Go on, take your suitcase... and walk!

- Oh le mec, il est fainéant ! Mais, tu m'as pris pour un taxi ou quoi ? Oh|the|guy|he|he is|lazy|But|you|you have me|taken|for|a|taxi|or|what - Oh man, he's lazy! Did you take me for a taxi or what?

UBER AVANT : Monsieur ! Est-ce que France info vous convient ?... UBER|BEFORE|Sir|||that|France|news|you|it suits you UBER BEFORE: Sir! Does France info work for you?...

... Je peux mettre aussi France Inter ou RFI ?... I|I can|put|also|France|Inter|or|RFI ... I can also put on France Inter or RFI?...

... Ah ! Mais, peut-être que Monsieur souhaite une sélection des plus belles balades enregistrées en voiture au philharmonique de Paris ? Ah|But|||that|Sir|he wants|a|selection|of the|most|beautiful|rides|recorded|in|car|at the|Philharmonic|of|Paris ... Ah! But maybe Mr. would like a selection of the most beautiful drives recorded in the car at the Philharmonic in Paris?

UBER APRÈS : - Vous pouvez mettre de la musique classique, SVP ? UBER|AFTER|You|you can|put|some|the|music|classical|please UBER AFTER: - Can you play classical music, please?

- Non c'est impossible ! Ma voiture, elle est allergique... No|it's|impossible|My|car|it|it is|allergic - No, that's impossible! My car is allergic...

... J'vais te mettre de la vraie musique... du RAP ! C'est oim ! I'm going to|you|put|some|the|real|music|of|RAP|It's|me ... I'm going to play you some real music... RAP! That's me!

... Tu vas avoir une exclu ! [Musique] ... Il chante du rap : ... You|you are going|to have|a|exclusive||He|he sings|some|rap ... You're going to have an exclusive! [Music] ... He sings rap: ...

... - C'est Karim le chauffeur d'Uber ! Pam ! Karim qui démarre...Karim avec sa voiture ! It's|Karim|the|driver|of Uber|Pam|Karim|who|he starts|Karim|with|his|car ... - It's Karim the Uber driver! Bam! Karim who starts...Karim with his car!

... Regarde bien, Karim ! Tous les clients du futur... Look|closely|Karim|All|the|clients|of the|future ... Look closely, Karim! All the future clients...

... On lui dit : Vas-y ! Ouvre-moi ta portière !... We|to him|we say|||||your|door ... We tell him: Go ahead! Open your door for me!...

... Moi, le prochain qui me dit ça ! Je vais lui niquer sa grand-mère ! Me|the|next|who|to me|says|that|I|I will|to him|to screw|his|| ... Me, the next one who tells me that! I'm going to screw his grandmother!

... Oui, c'est Karim, le chauffeur d'Uber ! Onomatopées ! Yes|it's|Karim|the|driver|of Uber|Onomatopoeias ... Yes, it's Karim, the Uber driver! Onomatopoeias!

... Onomatopées ! Onomatopoeias ... Onomatopoeias!

... Avec mon maillot de la Juventus.... Je vais t'éclater l'anus ! With|my|jersey|of|the|Juventus|I|I will|to smash you|the anus ... With my Juventus jersey.... I'm going to smash your anus!

... Prend-moi bien ! ... Client ! Sinon, je vais te niquer ta mère !... ||well|Client|Otherwise|I|I will|you|to mess with|your|mother ... Take me well! ... Client! Otherwise, I'm going to mess up your mother!...

Sous-Titres : PVCH Sous-Titrage ||PVCH|| Subtitles: PVCH Subtitling