George Carlin - Don't Pull The Plug On Me

And don't be pulling any plugs on me either.

Here's another bunch of macho asshole bullshit floating around this country. People talking about, "Aw pull the plug on me. If I'm ever like that. If I'm cromatosed. If I'm like a vegetable. Pull the plug on me." Fuck you, leave my plug alone. Get an extension cord for my plug. I want everything you got, tubes, cords, plugs, probes, electrodes, IVs. You got something (click), stick it in me man. You find out I got a hole I didn't know I had, put a fuckin plug in it. Vegetable shit, I don't care if I look like an artichoke. Ssaaaaave my ass. There's three things I want if I'm ever in that condition. Three things I gotta have. Ice cream, morphine, and television. You give me that ice cream every two hours. Give me that morphine, about...every ten minutes. And turn on the fucking TV! I wanna see Heraldo! And don't be coming to visit me. I got no time for life people I'm brain-dead here. Ain't you people got no respect for the brain-dead. Hey, you gotta be brain-dead to watch Heraldo in the first place. You might as well watch it when your clinically brain-dead.