042: Nature's Real Life Monsters!

Picture a monster. It's probably a ghost or a vampire or a Frankenstein beast or something but it should probably look like something with a bit more legs, or none at all, because nature has been literally making monsters for millions of years before goosebumps were even a thing.

Let's start with a Hollywood staple: vampires. Vampires are undead or mutated humans with a thirst for blood and a tendency to get really bad sunburns. Sometimes they explode or sparkle, but generally it's their blood diet that defines them. Now, you probably know about the real-world blood suckers like the leech, the mosquito, and the vampire bat. But birds have gotten in on the hemoglobin game too. One island in the Galapagos is ruled by so-called mobs of vampire finches. One of Darwin's famed finches, these vampires get their food by relentlessly pestering larger birds – they peck at the tail feathers until the blood starts flowing, and slurp it up.

Whole gangs of these vampires conspire to drain the blood of island birds, roll eggs off cliffs for the food inside, and to slurp up their vomit. How about nature's Frankenstein? Well, there's nothing really in nature stitched together and reanimated like Frankenstein, but there is a bug that pieces body parts together for a purpose. The assassin bug is like a vampire crossed with Frankenstein. When the assassin bug gets a hold of its prey, it stabs it with a mouth sword then slurps up what's inside. But it doesn't let the body go to waste. It piles the corpses and body parts of its victims on its back to act like armor and camouflage. It gives you the perfect opportunity to yell “IT'S ALIVE!” when that pile of dead bugs starts moving around. I think body-snatching monsters are probably the creepiest of all. Yep, nature has those too, and they take over your eyes. Leucochloridium is a fancy name for a parasite that turns a snail's eyestocks into pulsing rave lights.

This parasitic worm is a cross between a zombifier and a body snatcher. After eating one of the worm's eggs, the snail gets basically a worm tumor in its liver. Then it's chemically castrated. After that, the worm sends sacs of larvae into the eye stocks of the snail, which dance like every bird is watching. The eyestocks now look like tasty caterpillars to passing birds, but the snails don't just wait around all day waiting to be blinded. So the worm changes the snail's behavior so that it's no longer nocturnal and makes it move around up to three times as much. Then the snails get their eyes plucked out by birds.

In Hollywood they say, never work with kids or animals. The latter is much better advice, especially if you're making a monster movie. We know that nature has been making its own horror film fodder for billions of years, and we are just playing catch-up. Why? Because Science. Want more creepy science? Check out my latest video on The Walking Dead virus. And got questions?

Follow me on the Twitterverse @Sci_Phile. Thanks!