Learn B2 English With This Game - Bad Movie Reviews
Yes, I'm so glad that you got it.
I literally had no idea. I have never
seen that movie in my life.
Hey everyone, this is Aliyah and today
I'm joined by
Oh, was that my introduction?
» Sorry, sorry, yeah. We are joined by
Sam. Hello everybody, how are we all
doing?
So today Sam and I are playing a new
game, a new movie game where I will read
some movie reviews and based on the
review
I've chosen really bad reviews by the
way.
Sam will guess what movie the review is
talking about.
Um and if you like these types of videos
where we play games and talk about
movies, make sure to visit us at
for more.
So Sam
what do you think about the game that
we're about to play?
Bad movie reviews.
Now, I'm a little bit nervous. I'm a
little bit worried if I'm going to be
honest with you
because I am not very good with movies.
In fact, if you watch my guess the
character video with Justine, you guys
can see just how bad I really am.
I'm hoping not to absolutely embarrass
myself today, but I can't make any
promises.
Yes, that's the tough part is I don't
know which movies you've seen and which
movies you haven't seen. So and and then
even if you have, do you remember them?
So that's always the the hard part about
getting set up for these games, but I
always try to pick movies that I think
most people would know and hopefully
that's the case.
And of course for all of you guys
watching at home, play along with me.
Put your guesses into the comments down
below and see if you can do better than
I do. I'm pretty sure you can.
So I'm ready to get into it.
What is the first movie?
So I'm going to start reading the first
bad movie review.
Here we go.
Let's get something out of the way.
I know this is going to ruffle some
feathers.
This movie is sacred in internet culture
upheld as some kind of untouchable meme
god a nostalgia-fueled masterpiece that
can do no wrong.
But someone has to say it and I guess
I'll be the villain here. I hate this
movie and I think it's a terrible movie.
When this movie was released in the
early 2000s, its big selling point was
how it flipped the fairy tale genre on
its head. But let's be honest here,
there's not much there.
It's a standard buddy road trip comedy
with a green coat of paint.
The satire wants so badly to be edgy,
but it ends up being shallow.
It doesn't challenge the tropes of fairy
tales, it just pokes fun at them like a
middle schooler making fart jokes. Oh
yeah, it literally has fart jokes, lots
of them. Because nothing says brilliant
subversion like excessive bodily
functions.
Okay.
» it.
I think I think I know what movie this
is. Um but before I reveal to you what
my guess is, I'm going to explain to you
why I think it is.
So untouchable meme god,
nostalgia-fueled
masterpiece.
These obviously immediately made me
think of things from my childhood, big
important movies. Movies that are still
culturally relevant today.
My first thought was The Bee Movie.
But there was another piece of
information that definitely showed me
what the movie was. And that was a road
trip comedy with a green coat of paint.
That's it.
» Aliyah
I believe this movie is Shrek.
That is absolutely right. Yes, this
movie is
Shrek.
Uh-huh. And I want to say I completely
disagree with this review. I watched
Shrek again recently. Uh I have not seen
Shrek in a long time, but recently I
watched it again and it holds up.
Shrek's amazing. That's so funny. That's
so funny because I recently also watched
it again after a long time and it's just
yeah, it's a classic. I mean, if you
think about the type of movies that were
coming out for kids around that time, it
was like a game changer. Like nobody was
making movies like that. And that's why
there's so much nostalgia and it's
iconic because it's still very quotable.
Um it's still like a heat like
just a cultural like touchstone. So why
are we surprised that these are the
types of movies that like most people
love, you know what I mean?
Mhm.
Excellent. Well
I got one correct, which is already more
than I had expected. So let's get into
the second bad movie review.
Okay, let's do it. I am not sure why I
put myself through this ordeal again.
I was probably probably wondering how
well this overly long monstrosity had
aged. Not too well, I can say.
The CGI, once lauded for being the best
in its field, predictably shows its age
25 years on. And with Game of Thrones
having set the new standard for adult
fantasy this movie is exposed as an
unsexy and cloyingly sweet puerile
snoozefest riddled with stock characters
wooden dialogue and offendingly
unrealistic fight scenes.
Mhm.
Yes. Uh
I think the difficulty has stacked up a
notch.
So whatever this movie is, it has to be
old because it was made 25 years ago.
And the the end of the review where they
talked about how the characters are
basic, that's what they mean when they
say stock characters.
They said it's really boring, that's
what they mean when they said it's a
snoozefest.
I don't want Yeah, I don't want to say
what I think it is because I think it's
one of my favorite movies.
Oh, it's one of it's my favorite movie.
This was very painful. Uh-huh.
» very painful to read for me.
The the thing that pushes me towards
this is the idea of the CGI being, you
know, known as the best of its field
showing its age 25 years on.
For that reason, I am going to go with
Star Wars.
And not just any Star Wars, I think
we're going to go with the Star Wars
Episode 1.
Okay, interesting choice. Um it's not
Star Wars Episode 1. Okay, I'm happy cuz
that's a fantastic movie.
It is. I'm one of the only other people
who really likes that movie and it I
I think it's great. So
um you're right, it's a good guess
because
a lot of what is said here
is, you know, criticism I hear about
that movie as well, but um it's not the
correct movie.
Okay, please please reveal to me what is
the correct movie.
Okay, so the correct movie is The Lord
of the Rings, The Fellowship of the
Ring.
Mhm.
Okay, now I know I'm probably going to
offend some people in the comments. I
have only ever seen the first Lord of
the Rings movie. Um
It was okay.
I guess people are going to get really
angry at me for saying this. So actually
I do sort of understand where this
review is coming from.
Okay.
We're going to have a problem. No, just
kidding.
Um
Yeah, I I I think I I understand where
the review is coming from.
If the person doesn't understand that
Lord of the Rings is
kind of like the the classic fantasy
story that most others have, you know
taken and ran with and like, you know,
become successful off of. So, like my
big problem with the statement that it's
like
unsexy and has stock characters doesn't
It doesn't make any sense because
clearly this person doesn't know that
like
the characters are actually extremely
complex and like they also subvert like
tropes about typical heroes and like
typical good versus evil stories. So, I
have a major problem with this review.
I recommend to you to watch it again,
but I also recommend that you read the
books because I think Tolkien
is
an incredibly important author to read
if you're interested in like the English
language at all. Um
I think you'll understand what I mean.
Mhm. Excellent. Sorry, let's move into
the next movie review.
Ah.
The movie that dared to ask the
question, what if we made a spy thriller
so confusing even the writers had no
idea what was going on?
A cinematic Rubik's Cube wrapped in
dynamite and thrown at the actor while
he sprints at 200 mph with a determined
squint.
We open with a team of elite agents who
are all introduced just in time for you
to not care before they get dramatically
murdered in increasingly suspicious
ways.
Enter the main character, a man whose
main qualifications for espionage seems
to be a bottomless supply of hair gel
and the uncanny ability to look serious
while typing furiously on a mid-90s
laptop the size of a microwave.
The plot, something about a list, which
I'm still not convinced isn't just an
early draft of a grocery list.
The main character's framed, everyone's
shady, and apparently the only way to
prove your innocence is to hang from a
ceiling like a Cirque du Soleil dropout
in the world's quietest room. You know
the scene, everyone knows the scene.
It's iconic, suspenseful, and
scientifically
uh inaccurate
because no one No one lowers themselves
into a vault without at least grunting
once.
All in all, the movie is a chaotic
delight. It has the subtlety of a
Michael Bay fever dream and the plot
complexity of a tax return.
But hey, it gave us the main character
legacy, taught us how to sweat while
hacking, and proved once and for all
that no one runs like this actor.
Would I watch it again? Absolutely.
Would I understand it the second time?
Still no, but that's not the point.
Yeah, this one's got me. I'm a little
bit lost.
No way. Yeah, like I I'm really not good
with action movies especially. I don't
tend to enjoy them very much.
Um
So, the the main part of the review is
centered around the idea of the main
character being suspended and being
lifted down or being lowered down to
pick up a diamond from a vault
or something like that.
Yeah, something like that.
» I Yeah, I That's a very common trope in
action movies in especially in heist or
spy movies. It's a very common trope.
Um
Which means it could be many movies.
Now Right. They have mentioned the
actor's name twice, but of course I
cannot say the actor's name.
And they've also mentioned a lot of hair
gel.
So, I have a wild guess.
And if I'm correct here, I'm going to be
very proud of myself.
Aliyah, is this movie Tom Cruise's
Mission: Impossible?
Yes, I'm so glad that you got it.
I literally had no idea. I have never
seen that movie in my life. So, very
proud of myself there.
It's a movie that I rewatched again
recently too because I had seen like
parts of it when I was a kid. Um
especially the scene where he's
lowering, you know, down into the into
the vault. Um
and can't, you know, can't make any
noise, can't breathe, can't sweat or,
you know, all the alarms are going to go
off, but um yeah, it's kind of the
original. Like all of the movies that
have a scene like that, like they're
copying this scene. This is the
original. Ah, so they were all inspired
by that this scene specifically.
Exactly. Exactly.
Um yeah, well, great job. I mean,
especially for not having seen the
movie. Yeah, I'm quite proud of that
one. I have to be honest.
Yeah.
Good job.
Okay, going into the final bad movie
review. This is my first controversial
take. This is actually a bad movie.
Anyone who says otherwise is stuck up.
Four Oscars and praise from people who
saw a movie subvert the norm and didn't
bother looking any further.
The movie touts its purposely dense
storytelling as the audience getting to
piece it together themselves, but that's
just an excuse to give an unfinished
story
to the viewer in the name of artistic
direction.
I know that the book is it's based on
was followed closely, and people use
that it's faithful as a big part of why
the movie is good. Not going to lie,
the book is also
crap then. A modern western that's just
written badly.
The main character who goes through
struggles and multiple fights which we
watch has his story end off screen. Once
he does, the movie flounders around. The
main villain is just never punished,
going around doing whatever, getting
incredibly hurt, then just walking it
off every single time. I'm not saying
all villains should be defeated, but
there is absolutely no reason as to why
he is still alive.
When the characters are all just so dumb
and do things that make no logical sense
whatsoever.
Also, the bad guy needs to get rid of
that yee-yee haircut.
Honestly, I don't know how the Coen
brothers went from Fargo and Big
Lebowski to this. I love both those
movies, but I hate this one.
Wow.
Some some stern words from whoever wrote
this one. They were clearly very
passionate about how much they didn't
like the film.
Mhm. Now, I feel like if I were better
at movies, if I had seen more movies,
this would be an easy one to guess.
But as we have discovered during this
this video, I do not watch very many
movies.
Modern western, that is the genre.
Which definitely limits my options.
What I do remember is a few years ago
Netflix released a very popular western
movie. A movie about the wild west of
America.
Now, I can't remember exactly what the
movie was called, but it was something
called like the something six, the
unlawful six or something like that. I
might be off the mark. Am I massively
off the mark, Aliyah?
Um
I think if you know the directors the
Coen brothers, you would know the movie,
and if you don't really know a lot about
the Coen brothers, you probably
wouldn't. I'm not sure about this
Netflix movie, but you're right that a
lot of westerns have those types of
names. Aha.
Does it have
um
the guy from John Wick in it?
No. No? Then I have no clue.
Um Okay. Yeah, unfortunately, guys, I've
got no clue. Please let me know down Let
me know down in the comments below if
you have any idea or if you have seen
this movie cuz I am lost.
Yeah, I'm really curious if um
the the watchers have seen this movie
because I feel like the review actually
does give away a lot um of important
things. So, like if you know it, you
know it. If you don't, you don't. So,
I'm curious how many other people have
seen this movie. Um so, it is called No
Country for Old Men.
Mhm, I have heard of it.
Yeah, I have heard of it. I have
definitely scrolled past it before on
Netflix or on another platform. Um
So, I mean
» if if Tell me if you watch it because
I'm curious if you'll agree with this
review or if you'll if you'll enjoy it.
I personally enjoy it. I don't think
it's perfect, but I enjoyed all of the
movies that I chose, actually. And
that's kind of why it was fun to find
bad reviews, because I don't agree with
them at all.
Mhm. Yeah, well,
I got two out of four.
Well, and when we consider just how bad
I am at movie trivia,
I'm actually okay with that. I think I I
gave it a respectable go. What do you
think Aliya?
Oh, definitely. I mean, I think what was
impressive is that you guessed Mission
Impossible without having ever seen it.
So,
um I mean, that's that's great. You can
You can, you know,
make a educated guess, you know? So,
it's awesome. But, I do think you need
to watch more movies.
So, I'm not a big movie person, you
know? I have a tried. Um
the Yeah, I I just like YouTube too
much. I guess I'm just too much of a Gen
Z.
That's just That's just what we do.
Okay, that makes a lot of sense.
» Mhm. Um okay. Cool. Well,
I hope that you give all of these movies
a a shot. Let me know, because I love to
discuss movies and um
yeah, maybe maybe we should come up with
some some more games that don't involve
movies.
So, that everyone
» to admit, this was my idea, by the way.
Uh I came up with this idea.
Cool.
Okay, guys. Thank you so, so much for
watching today's video. We really,
really hope that you enjoyed it. If you
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Aliya, do you have anything to say to
the lovely people?
Thanks so much for watching. Tell me
what you think about these movies in the
comments, and we'll see you next time.
Thanks Aliya.
Bye.
