The Skill of Humor | Andrew Tarvin | TEDxTAMU (1)

Translator: Cihan Ekmekçi Reviewer: Leonardo Silva

Six years ago, I was sitting out with some friends in New York City

when I got a notification on my phone,

and I was surprised to find that I had a text message from my grandmother.

I was surprised because my grandmother at the time was 78 years old,

and she had never sent a text before.

And I will tell you the first text was adorable.

It read, "Dear Andrew, trying out texting. Love, your grandma."

I was like "Aw, she thinks it's a letter!"

So I sent her a message back,

"Hey grandma, it's a text. You don't have to include all that."

Her response was "Dear Andrew,

Okay. Love, your grandma."

My favorite part is it's always "Love, your grandma,"

like if it was "Love, grandma" I'd be confused.

If it was like, "Dear Andrew, have a good time in Texas. Love, grandma,"

I'd be like "Grandma? Who's grandma?"

(Laughter)

But my grandmother's still figuring some things out.

A couple of years ago, I went to Switzerland for work,

came back, sent a message to grandmother:

''Hey grandma, just got back from Switzerland.''

Her response was, ''Dear Andrew, Switzerland? WTF.''

(Laughter)

All right, so I called my grandmother up,

''Grandma, what do you think WTF means?''

And she's like,

''Oh well, someone at Bridge told me it means 'Wow That's Fun.''

(Laughter)

I was like, ''That is exactly what it means.''

I'm not going to explain that to my grandmother.

But over time, I've come to realize

that I think the world would be a happier place

if more people thought WTF -

if more people were like my grandmother and thought, "Wow, that's fun."

Because in 2012, I left my corporate job at Procter and Gamble

to teach people about the value of humor.

I've worked with more than 35,000 people at more than 250 organizations

on how to be more productive, less stressed and happier, using humor.

But when people hear what it is that I do, they are a little bit skeptical,

(Laughter)

because no one thinks of humor as a bad thing.

Is there anyone here that doesn't like to laugh?

Anyone that's like "No, I hate feeling joy in my body?"

(Laughter)

No. People think of humor as a nice-to-have.

Oh, if I enjoyed my work more, if I had some fun, it would be great,

but if not, oh well.

The reality is that humor is a must-have.

In today's overworked, underappreciated, stress-filled, sleep-deprived culture,

humor is a necessity.

Because humor gets people to listen,

it increases long-term memory retention,

it improves understanding, aids in learning

and helps communicate messages.

It also improves group cohesiveness,

reduces status differentials, diffuses conflict, builds trust

and brings people closer together.

It does these things

(Laughter)

and this stuff and on and on and on ...

And it's all backed by research case studies and real-world examples.

(Laughter)

And these are some impressive benefits, right?

Humor can help you to look better, live longer and make it rain, right?

(Laughter)

Because people who use humor are paid more.

And anyone can learn these benefits.

Because when I talk to people about humor or comedy,

sometimes they're intimidated.

That event that I went to in Switzerland a couple years ago

that made my grandmother say WTF,

it was to speak at a conference.

And one of the other speakers at that conference was this gentleman.

His name is Kevin Richardson.

He's also known as the lion whisperer.

If you've ever seen that YouTube video of a lion hugging a dude, that's this guy.

He lives in South Africa,

he raises lions from when they're really young,

and they treat him as one of the pride.

He's basically the human version of Rafiki from The Lion King.

But Kevin and I were talking before the event.

He found out that I did stand-up comedy,

and he was like ''Huh, I could never do that, it's too scary.''

(Laughter)

I was like ''But you live with lions!''

(Laughter)

As if telling a joke is somehow scarier than living with lions.

(Laughter)

But so many people have this perception

as if the ability to make people laugh is somehow encoded in our DNA.

(Laughter)

But the reality is that humor is a skill,

and if it's a skill, that means we can learn it.

Because I am someone who has had to learn how to use humor.

Because I've done over a thousand shows

as a stand-up comedian, improviser, storyteller, spoken word artist.

I've spoken and performed in all 50 states in 18 countries and on one planet.

(Laughter)

I have fans in more than 150 countries,

based on people who have accidentally come to my website.

I've been called hilarious and smart, at least that's what my mom says.

(Laughter)

And I've been seen on The Daily Show with John Stewart, in the audience.

(Laughter)

I recently went to my high school reunion though,

and when people found out that I did stand-up comedy,

they said, ''But you're not funny.''

And in some ways they're right

because I would tell you that this is not the face of funny.

(Laughter)

There's a lot that's funny about this picture;

none of it is intentional.

(Laughter)

And I have the blonde tips up top like I wanted to be in a boy band.

The theme was ''Into a Dream,'' I am no one's dream -

(Laughter)

in this picture.

Because, growing up, I was never the life of the party or the class clown.

My senior year - my senior superlative, I was voted teacher's pet.

And this is going to surprise many of you, but it's because I am a nerd.

And if you're wondering what type of nerd,

the answer is yes; computer, math, sci-fi,

Dungeons & Dragons, Star Wars, Star Trek, Starbucks - all of them.

(Laughter)

But most specifically, I'm an engineer.

I went to the Ohio State University,

got a degree in computer science and engineering.

And after I graduated,

I started working at Procter & Gamble as an IT project manager.

And that's what people expected me to do,

because based on my personality assessment,

that's what it suggests I should be as a computer science engineer.

But I've learned that we're not a personality assessment.

Because my assessment is

I'm a Type-A, blue square, conscientious, INTJ with the sign of Aquarius.

That means I'm an ambitious, stubborn introvert

who likes long walks on the beach,

but I've learned we're not our personality assessments.

They might give us insight into our behavior

or tell us what motivates us

or tell us which Disney Princess we would be - Pocahontas -

(Laughter)

but they don't define us; instead, we are defined by our actions.

So I started doing comedy in college.

My best friend there in the middle wanted to start an improv comedy group.

He needed people and forced me to join.

And as you can probably tell from this picture, we were not very good.

At least to start out, we had no idea what we were doing.

We watched "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" and tried to repeat what we saw.

And what I didn't have in comedy skill I made up in comedy project management.

"If we're going to do this for real;

we'll practice three times a week,

we'll have a business meeting every Monday,

and we're going to go back and watch our shows as if it was game tape.''

And over the course of two years, we got better.

We went from performing in the basements of residence halls

to performing twice a week at a theater on campus,

never really learning how to take a good picture.

But that's how you learn the skill of humor.

It's through practice and repetition.

And anyone can do these things.

And you don't have to become a professional comedian to use comedy,

but we can learn from the professionals.

For example, from stand-up, we can learn about how to share your point of view,

because Louis C.K. has a very specific way of seeing the world,

which is different than Ellen DeGeneres,

which is different than Tig Notaro, Dave Chappelle or Chris Rock.

Everyone has their own perspective.

Some people tell me

that I kind of look like the intersection of Hugh Jackman and Conan O'Brien.

(Laughter)

Other people are like, "Ah, I kind of see David Tennant from Doctor Who."

One woman told me,

''I think you look like Justin Timberlake but from here to here.''

(Laughter)

And we're going to ignore the guy that told me I look like Clay Aiken.

Right, just completely.

Everyone has their own perspective.

And we can use that perspective as a way to connect with other people, right?

We can use it to say, ''Oh, we're alike.'' How many people here like desert?

People love desert. I love deserts. I am obsessed with milkshake.

So it's the most efficient form of desert

because of the deliciousness of ice cream in an easy-to-consume form.

But I don't understand mint chocolate.

I don't know if we have any mint chocolate fan.

I've never been eating chocolate

and been like, ''You know what would go great with this? Toothpaste."

(Laughter)

We can share a perspective as a way to connect.

We can also share a perspective as a way to make a point.

Because I will tell you

that I have always understood computers much more than I understand humans.

Because when something goes wrong with the computer,

you get an error message.

When something goes wrong with a human,

you get feelings.

(Laughter)

Things would be so much easier if humans came with error messages,

wouldn't they?

Say you're overworked, overwhelmed, a little bit stressed out,

it would just pop up: "Warning! System overload."

(Laughter)

"Please restart by taking a nap."

Because we all know naps are the human version

of, "Just turn it off and then turn it back on again."

Some error messages you wouldn't even have to change.

Say, you're out flirting with a waitress, she's not really feeling it.

It would just pop up: "Error. Unable to establish connection to server."

(Laughter)

Things would be so much easier.

But the reality is that humans aren't computers,

no matter how adorable they are when they pretend to be.

Because we, as humans, not only have to manage time, we have to manage energy.

Because it doesn't matter how much time we have

if we've never have the energy to do anything with it.

From improv, we can learn how we can explore and heighten a point of view.

Because the fundamental mindset of improvisation is "Yes, and..."

It's how improvisers at UCB, Second City and ComedySportz make things up

off the top of their head.

And we can use that same thing,

take what they do, accept and build, explore and heighten and say,

''If this is true, what else is true?''

Because it took me going to the state of Florida to realize

that the rapper Flo Rida got his name from his home state of Florida,

and he put a space in it.

That blew my mind!

(Laughter)

We could say, ''If this is true, what else could be true?''

We could say,

"I think there should be a Hispanic factory in Dover

that goes by De La Ware."

(Laughter)

Or like, "There could be a female internet detective in Biloxi

who goes by Misses IP, PI."

(Laughter)

And if this is true, what else is true?

If we can use ''Yes, and'' to create humor,

we can also use ''Yes, and'' as a way to connect with other people.

We can think of that stereotypical small talk conversation

where people are like, ''Ah, how about this weather?''

You say, "Yes, and if you were not at this event right now,

how would you be out enjoying the weather?"