El control de la ira: técnicas para evitar perder el control
the|control|of|the|anger|techniques|to|to avoid|to lose|the|control
Wutmanagement: Techniken zur Vermeidung von Kontrollverlust
Gestão da raiva: técnicas para evitar perder o controlo
Anger management: techniques to avoid losing control
Todos hemos perdido los nervios en un momento u otro; por algo que no nos ha salido bien,
everyone|we have|lost|the|nerves|in|a|moment|or|another|for|something|that|not|to us|it has|turned out|well
We have all lost our temper at one time or another; over something that didn't go well,
en un atasco, con nuestra pareja o hijos... hasta cierto punto es inevitable, ya que la
||engarrafamento|||parceira||||||||||
in|a|traffic jam|with|our|partner|or|children|up to|certain|point|it is|inevitable|already|that|the
in a traffic jam, with our partner or children... to a certain extent it is inevitable, since the
ira es una emoción normal, que tenemos todos. Pero aunque sea normal, tenemos la responsabilidad
anger||||normal||we have|||||||the|responsibility
anger is a normal emotion that we all have. But even though it is normal, we have the responsibility
de mantenerla bajo control, evitar que nos desborde y que genere consecuencias negativas
of|to keep it|under|control|to avoid|that|us|it overflows|and|that|it generates|consequences|negative
to keep it under control, to prevent it from overwhelming us and causing negative consequences
para nosotros o para los demás. Y es que seguro que a todos nos viene a la mente esa
for|us|or|for|the|others|and|it is|that|surely|that|to|all|us|it comes|to|the|mind|that
for us or for others. And surely we all think of that
persona con la mecha muy corta, que a la mínima explota y arrasa con quien tenga a su alrededor.
person|with|the|fuse|very|short|that|at|the|slightest|it explodes|and|it devastates|with|whoever|they have|to|their|around
person with a very short fuse, who explodes at the slightest provocation and wreaks havoc on those around them.
¿A que no es agradable? Vamos a ver cómo podemos evitar caer en estas conductas.
to|that|not|it is|pleasant|let's go|to|see|how|we can|to avoid|to fall|into|these|behaviors
Isn't that unpleasant? Let's see how we can avoid falling into these behaviors.
Como hemos dicho, la ira es una emoción que pertenece al ser humano y como tal podemos
as|we have|said|the|anger|it is|a|emotion|that|it belongs|to the|being|human|and|as|such|we can
As we have said, anger is an emotion that belongs to humans and as such we can
hasta considerarla como positiva y necesaria para la supervivencia. Nos puede ayudar a
even|to consider it|as|positive|and|necessary|for|the|survival|us|it can|to help|to
even consider it as positive and necessary for survival. It can help us to
salir victoriosos de situaciones en las que nos vemos obligados a defendemos. Es decir,
to come out|victorious|from|situations|in|which|that|ourselves|we see|forced|to|to defend ourselves||
emerge victorious from situations where we are forced to defend ourselves. In other words,
es útil en manos de una persona que la sabe controlarla y no deja que la ira tome el mando
it is|useful|in|hands|of|a|person|who|it|knows|to control it|and|not|she/he lets|that|the|anger|it takes|the|command
it is useful in the hands of a person who knows how to control it and does not let anger take charge.
de la situación. Sin embargo, cuando la ira domina o desborda a la persona, cuando se
of|the|situation|without|however|when|the|anger|it dominates|or|it overflows|to|the|person|when|itself
of the situation. However, when anger dominates or overwhelms a person, when it
dirige de forma desmedida hacia los demás, cuando produce consecuencias negativas para
it directs|in|way|excessive|towards|the|others|when|it produces|consequences|negative|for
is directed excessively towards others, when it produces negative consequences for
el bienestar de los otros y de uno mismo e incluso cuando aparece en situaciones innecesarias,
the|well-being|of|the|others|and|of|oneself|same|and|even|when|it appears|in|situations|unnecessary
the well-being of others and oneself, and even when it appears in unnecessary situations,
hablamos de una ira problemática. Un concepto muy interesante para poder prevenir
we talk|of|a|anger|problematic|a|concept|very|interesting|to|to be able|to prevent
we talk about problematic anger. A very interesting concept to be able to prevent
estas explosiones es el de la escalada de la ira. La ira puede aumentar o disminuir
these|explosions|it is|the|of|the|escalation|of|the|anger||||||
these explosions are due to the escalation of anger. Anger can increase or decrease
en intensidad. Cuando la ira aumenta en intensidad, se trata de una escalada. Hay personas que
|||the|anger|||||||||||
in intensity. When anger increases in intensity, it is an escalation. There are people who
se vuelven furiosas y se calientan rápidamente. Pero a pesar de ello, y a pesar de lo que
itself||furious|||heat|||||of|||||||
become furious and heat up quickly. But despite this, and despite what
nos puede parecer, este “subidón” no es instantáneo. La ira comienza habitualmente
||||rush|||instant||||
it may seem to us, this "rush" is not instantaneous. Anger usually begins
con unos niveles bajos de malestar o de irritación y poco a poco va aumentando hasta que, en
with|some|levels|low|of|discomfort|or|of|irritation|and|little|to|little|it goes|increasing|until|that|in
with low levels of discomfort or irritation and gradually increases until, in
algunos casos, estalla de forma explosiva. El secreto para aprender a controlar la ira
||explodes|||explosive|the|secret|to|to learn|to|to control|the|anger
some cases, it explodes in an explosive manner. The secret to learning how to control anger
es conocer qué es lo que hace que a partir de una pequeña molestia o irritación inicial,
it is|to know|what|it is|that|that|it makes|that|from|starting|of|a|small|annoyance|or|irritation|initial
is to know what causes a small annoyance or initial irritation,
se llegue hasta una expresión de cólera explosiva y descontrolada. Para ello, hay
itself|it reaches|until|an|expression|of|rage|explosive|and|uncontrolled|in order to|this|there is
to escalate to an expression of explosive and uncontrolled rage. To do this, there are
que averiguar el camino ascendente que sigue la ira, que se puede sintetizar en cuatro
||||ascending||||||||synthesize||
to find out the upward path that anger follows, which can be summarized in four
pasos: experimentamos un suceso negativo, el cual genera en nosotros un pensamiento
steps: we experience a negative event, which generates a hot thought
caliente, que nos lleva a la ira excesiva y ésta a las conductas violentas.
that leads us to excessive anger and this to violent behaviors.
El error de muchas personas es creer que es el suceso negativo el que provoca el malestar
The mistake of many people is to believe that it is the negative event that causes the discomfort.
o la ira excesiva directamente. Sin embargo la realidad es muy distinta. Lo que en verdad
or|the|anger|excessive|directly|without|however|the|reality|it is|very|different||||
or the excessive anger directly. However, the reality is very different. What really
nos enfada no es tanto lo que ha ocurrido (los sucesos) sino lo que hemos interpretado
to us|it angers|not|it is|so much|the|that|it has|occurred|the|events|but|the|that|we have|interpreted
angers us is not so much what has happened (the events) but what we have interpreted
(los pensamientos) acerca de estos. Lo que importa no es lo que pasa sino lo que creemos
the|thoughts|about|of|these||||||||||||
(the thoughts) about them. What matters is not what happens but what we believe
acerca de lo que pasa, lo que interpretamos. En definitiva, un suceso negativo solo llega
about|of|what|that|happens|what|that|we interpret|in|definitive|a|event|negative|only|it arrives
about what happens, what we interpret. Ultimately, a negative event only arrives
a enfadarnos después de haber pasado por el filtro del pensamiento.
to|to get angry|after|of|having|passed|through|the|filter|of the|thought
to get angry after having gone through the filter of thought.
Si detectamos las señales que nos indican cuándo nos estamos enfadando y porqué, al
if|we detect|the|signals|that|to us|they indicate|when|ourselves|we are|getting angry|and|why|at the
If we detect the signals that indicate when we are getting angry and why, at
menos tendremos la oportunidad de poder controlar nuestro nivel de cólera. Veamos cuáles son:
|||||||||||let's see|which|they are
least we will have the opportunity to control our level of anger. Let's see what they are:
En primer lugar tenemos los pensamientos calientes: ante un suceso negativo, la ira escalará
in|first|place|we have|the|thoughts|hot|in the face of|a|event|negative|the|anger|it will escalate
First, we have hot thoughts: in the face of a negative event, anger will escalate
rápidamente si comenzamos a tener pensamientos calientes. Son lo que la persona se dice a
quickly|if|we begin|to|to have|thoughts|hot|they are|what|that|the|person|herself|she says|to
quickly if we start having hot thoughts. They are what a person says to
sí misma ante un suceso determinado: ”me mira así para joderme”, ”lo ha hecho
herself|same|in front of|a|event|determined|me|she looks|like this|to|to annoy me|it|she has|done
themselves in response to a specific event: "they look at me like that to annoy me," "they did it
aposta para molestarme”, ”siempre me critica a mis espaldas”, ” se va a enterar, ya
on purpose|to|to bother me|always|me|she criticizes|to|my|back|herself|she goes|to|to find out|already
on purpose to bother me," "they always criticize me behind my back," "they're going to find out, I'm already
me tiene harto”. En segundo lugar estarían las sensaciones
me|she has|fed up|in|second|place|they would be|the|sensations
fed up with them." Secondly, there would be the sensations.
físicas: son aquellas sensaciones físicas que notamos y que están muy relacionadas
physical|they are|those|sensations||that|we notice|and|that|they are|very|related
Physical sensations: these are the physical feelings that we notice and that are closely related
con el aumento de la ira. Aunque cada persona puede tener sensaciones corporales diferentes
with|the|increase|of|the|anger|although|each|person|she/he can|to have|sensations|bodily|different
to the increase of anger. Although each person may have different bodily sensations
cuando se va enfureciendo, sin embargo las más habituales son las siguientes: puños
when|herself/himself|she/he goes|becoming enraged|without|however|the|most|common|they are|the|following|fists
as they become enraged, the most common ones are the following: clenched fists,
cerrados, tensión en los brazos, tensión muscular, labios y dientes apretados, ceño
closed|tension|in|the|arms|tension|muscular|lips|and|teeth|clenched|frown
tension in the arms, muscle tension, tight lips and teeth, furrowed brow.
fruncido, tono de voz alto, respiración acelerada, ritmo cardiaco rápido… Además, al actuar
furrowed|tone|of|voice|high|breathing|accelerated|rhythm|cardiac|fast|besides|upon|acting
furrowed, high tone of voice, rapid breathing, fast heartbeat... Additionally, when acting
estas sensaciones corporales junto con los pensamientos calientes, se potencian recíprocamente
these|sensations|bodily|together|with|the|thoughts|hot|themselves|they enhance|reciprocally
these bodily sensations along with hot thoughts, mutually enhance each other
y aceleran la escalda de la ira. En tercer lugar tendríamos los comportamientos
and|they accelerate|the|escalation|of|the|anger|in|third|place|we would have||
and accelerate the escalation of anger. Thirdly, we would have the behaviors
furiosos: son las conductas que una persona realiza cuando se está enfureciendo. Por
furious|they are|the|conducts|that|a|person|she/he performs|when|herself/himself|she/he is|infuriating|
of fury: these are the actions that a person takes when they are getting angry. For
ejemplo, cuando empezamos a levantar el tono de voz o pegamos un portazo. En estos casos
example|when|we start|to|to raise|the|tone|of|voice|or|we slam|a|door slam|in|these|cases
for example, when we start to raise our voice or slam a door. In these cases
la ira aumenta más rápidamente todavía. Se corre el riesgo de que estos comportamientos
the|anger|it increases|more|rapidly|still|itself|it runs|the|risk|of|that|these|behaviors
anger increases even more quickly. There is a risk that these behaviors
lleguen a un punto en que la persona no sea capaz de controlarlos: cuando la ira domina
they reach|to|a|point|in|that|the|person|not|she is|capable|of|controlling them|when|the|anger|it dominates
will reach a point where the person is unable to control them: when anger dominates
al comportamiento, y el sujeto puede acabar descargando toda esa tensión con otras personas.
the|behavior|and|the|subject|he can|to end up|unloading|all|that|tension|with|other|people
behavior, and the individual may end up releasing all that tension on other people.
Y finalmente habrían también otros aspectos que pueden influir también en la escalada
and|finally|there would be|also|other|aspects|that|they can|to influence|also|in|the|escalation
And finally, there would also be other aspects that can influence the escalation
de la ira de una persona en concreto: el temperamento, la manera que tiene de solucionar los problemas,
of|the|anger|of|a|person|in|specific|the|temperament|the|way|that|she/he has|to|to solve|the|problems
of a specific person's anger: their temperament, the way they solve problems,
el ambiente en que ha vivido, el nivel de estrés y de estado de ánimo, etc.
the|environment|in|that|she/he has|lived|the|level|of|stress|and|of|state|of|mood|etc
the environment they have lived in, their stress level and mood, etc.
El tiempo fuera Cuando una persona siente que se está “calentando”,
the|time|out|when|a|person|she/he feels|that|herself/himself|she/he is|“heating up
Time out When a person feels that they are getting "heated",
puede utilizar esta técnica para frenar la ira, a modo de emergencia. Esta técnica consiste
it can|to use|this|technique|to|to stop|the|anger|in|way|of|emergency|||
you can use this technique to curb anger, as an emergency measure. This technique consists
en alejarse de la situación física y psicológicamente. Es algo tan sencillo y, a la vez, tan difícil
in|to distance oneself|from|the|situation|physical|and|psychologically||||||||||
of distancing yourself from the situation both physically and psychologically. It's something so simple and yet so difficult
como irse del lugar en el que se está generando el conflicto; por ejemplo, hacer deporte en
|||||||||||||||sport|
as leaving the place where the conflict is occurring; for example, exercising in
esta situación suele ser una estrategia muy efectiva para liberar tensión.
this|situation|it usually|to be|a|strategy|very|effective|to|to release|tension
this situation is often a very effective strategy to release tension.
Cuando detectes que tu nivel de ira comienza a aumentar es un buen momento para hacer un
when|you detect|that|your|level|of|anger|it begins|to|to increase|it is|a|good|moment|to|to do|a
When you notice that your level of anger begins to rise, it's a good time to take a
tiempo muerto. Una vez que te has alejado físicamente del conflicto, también te interesará
time|dead|once|time|that|yourself|you have|distanced|physically|from the|conflict|also|yourself|it will interest
timeout. Once you have physically removed yourself from the conflict, you will also want to
alejarte psicológicamente. Para eso, procura no hacer cosas que te pongan más de mala
to distance yourself|psychologically|in order to|that|try|not|to do|things|that|you|they put|more|of|bad
distance yourself psychologically. To do this, try not to do things that will make you more
leche, como largarte de un portazo, golpear o lanzar cosas, irte refunfuñando, insultando
||leave||||to hit|or|to throw|things|to leave|grumbling|insulting
irritable, such as storming out, hitting or throwing things, leaving while grumbling, insulting.
o diciendo tacos, etcétera Y, por supuesto, tampoco te interesa dejar que los pensamientos
or|saying|swear words|etcetera|and|for|sure|neither|you|it interests|to let|that|the|thoughts
or cursing, etc. And, of course, you also don't want to let heated thoughts
calientes sigan creciendo aún más. En todo caso, para que de verdad te ayude
hot|they continue|growing|even|more|in|all|case|in order to|that|of|truth|you|it helps
continue to grow even more. In any case, to truly help you
a calmarte, durante este tiempo muerto deberías evitar lo siguiente
to|calm yourself|during|this|time|dead|you should|to avoid|the|following
calm down, during this downtime you should avoid the following
• Hacer cosas que nos enfaden más (golpear objetos, dar portazos…)
to do|things|that|us|they anger|more|to hit|objects|to slam|door slams)
• Doing things that make us angrier (hitting objects, slamming doors...)
• Seguir dándole vueltas continuamente a lo que ha pasado. Aléjate de esos pensamientos
to continue|giving|turns|continuously|to|what|that|it has|happened|move away|from|those|thoughts
• Keep dwelling on what has happened. Stay away from those thoughts.
distrayéndote. • Tomar decisiones importantes: no es el
distracting yourself|to take|decisions|important|not|it is|the
• Distract yourself. • Making important decisions: this is not the
momento de decidir separarte, vender alguna propiedad, etc.
|||to separate||||
time to decide to separate, sell any property, etc.
• Drogarte; en este punto por supuesto, incluyo el alcohol.
Drugging||||||include||
• Using drugs; at this point, of course, I include alcohol.
• Conducir o hacer actividades peligrosas. • Actualizar tus redes sociales: cuidado
to drive|or|to do|activities|dangerous|to update|your|networks|social|care
• Driving or engaging in dangerous activities. • Updating your social media: be careful
con lo que pones en Facebook, Instagram, twitter o lo que dices en grupos de WhatsApp.
||that||||||||||||of|
about what you post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or what you say in WhatsApp groups.
En resumen: la ira es una emoción normal, pero no podemos permitir que se apodere de
|summary||||||||not|||that||take over|
In summary: anger is a normal emotion, but we cannot allow it to take over
nosotros. Cuando explotamos, ésto no sucede de repente, sino que antes ha habido todo
||we explode|this||||suddenly||||||
us. When we explode, it doesn't happen suddenly; there has been a buildup beforehand.
un proceso. Atendiendo más a nuestros pensamientos y sensaciones físicas, podremos detener más
||Attending||||||||||
a process. By paying more attention to our thoughts and physical sensations, we can stop that escalation sooner
pronto esa escalada y evitar consecuencias negativas.
and avoid negative consequences.
Y hasta aquí, otra píldora de psicología, si os ha gustado tenéis muchos más vídeos
And that's it for now, another psychology nugget, if you liked it, you have many more videos
y artículos en el canal de YouTube y en albertosoler.es. Y en todas las librerías nuestro libro “Hijos
and articles on the YouTube channel and at albertosoler.es. And in all bookstores, our book 'Children
y Padres Felices”. ¡Un saludo!
and|parents|happy|a|greeting
and Happy Parents.” Greetings!
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