"Cuando me giro me la lía", o ¿por qué es tan difícil hacer cosas en casa con hijos pequeños? when|myself|I turn|to me|it|she messes up|or|for|why|it is|so|difficult|to do|things|in|home|with|children|small |||||me complique||||||||||||| |||||krångel||||||||||||| "Warum ist es so schwierig, mit kleinen Kindern etwas zu Hause zu machen? "Pourquoi est-il si difficile de faire des choses à la maison avec des enfants en bas âge ? "Perché è così difficile fare le cose a casa con i bambini piccoli? "Dlaczego tak trudno jest robić rzeczy w domu z małymi dziećmi? "Porque é que é tão difícil fazer coisas em casa com crianças pequenas? "Почему так трудно заниматься дома с маленькими детьми? "When I turn around, it gets complicated for me," or why is it so difficult to do things at home with small children?

Muchos padres y madres me cuentan con frecuencia situaciones muy parecidas a many|parents|and|mothers|to me|they tell|with|frequency|situations|very|similar|to Many parents often tell me very similar situations to

la siguiente: "estamos en casa y no me deja hacer nada. the|following|we are|in|home|and|not|to me|she lets|to do|anything the following: "we are at home and they don't let me do anything.

En el momento en el que me giro me la lía, si voy a la cocina un momento in|the|moment|in|which||myself|I turn|to me|it|she messes up|if|I go|to|the|kitchen|a|moment ||||||||||lurar||||||| The moment I turn around, it gets complicated for me; if I go to the kitchen for a moment

para hacer la cena, de repente, empieza a gritar, rompe algo, llora o se pelea con to|to make|the|dinner|of|suddenly|it begins|to|to shout|it breaks|something|it cries|or|themselves|fight|with to make dinner, suddenly, they start shouting, break something, cry or fight with

su hermano. ¡Es que no puedo hacer nada!" Son niños y niñas que que nada más se their|brother|it is|that|not|I can|to do|anything||||||||| their brother. "I can't do anything!" They are boys and girls who as soon as their

giran sus padres la lían y apenas dejan hacer algo en casa. they turn|their|parents|the|they mess up|and|hardly|they let|to do|something|in|house ||||lian||||||| parents turn around, they cause trouble and hardly let them do anything at home.

¿Qué podemos hacer en esas situaciones? ¡Eso es lo que vamos a ver! what|we can|to do|in|those|situations|that|it is|the|that|we are going|to|to see What can we do in those situations? That's what we are going to see!

¿A que os habéis sentido identificados con la situación que os he contado? to|that|yourselves|you have|felt|identified|with|the|situation|that|you|I have|told Have you felt identified with the situation I told you about?

Da igual que vuestra hija o vuestro hijo it gives|equal|that|your|daughter|or|your|son It doesn't matter if your daughter or son

tenga dos años o tenga siete, es que es algo muy frecuente : niños que he/she has|two|years|or|he/she has|seven|it is|that|it is|something|very|frequent|| is two years old or seven, it's something very common: children who

tienes que estar todo el día encima de ellos para que no te la líen, para que no you have|to|to be|all|the|day|on top|of|them|in order to|that|not|you|it|they mess up|in order to|that|not you have to be on top of all day so they don't cause trouble, so they don't

lloren o para que te dejen hacer algo. Porque claro, obviamente las cosas de they cry|or|in order to|that|you|they let|to do|something|because|of course|obviously|the|things|of cry or to let you do something. Because of course, obviously things at home

casa no se hacen solas, y cenar hay que cenar, y fregar los cacharros... hay house|not|themselves|they do|alone|and|to have dinner|there is|to|to have dinner|and|to wash|the|dishes|there is don't do themselves, and dinner has to be made, and washing the dishes... there are

que hacer lo que sea, y muchas veces pues no hay dos adultos en casa para repartirse las tareas to|to do|what|that|it may be|and|many|times|well|not|there are|two|adults|in|house|to|to share|the|tasks things to do, and many times there aren't two adults at home to share the tasks.

Cuando los padres explican situaciones como éstas, siempre suele ser when|the|parents|they explain|situations|like|these|always|it usually|to be When parents explain situations like these, it is usually

algo parecido: están jugando con el pequeño, y something|similar|they are|playing|with|the|little|and something similar: they are playing with the little one, and

la situación está más o menos controlada, y entonces, cuando todo está the|situation|it is|more|or|less|controlled|and|then|when|everything|it is the situation is more or less under control, and then, when everything is

tranquilo, el padre o la madre como si fueran ninjas aprovechan la situación calm|the|father|or|the|mother|as|if|they were|ninjas|they take advantage of|the|situation calm, the father or mother, as if they were ninjas, take advantage of the situation

para irse con calma hacer cualquier otra de las cosas que hay que hacer en casa. to|to leave|with|calmness|to do|any|other|of|the|things|that|there are|to|to do|in|house to quietly go and do any of the other things that need to be done at home.

Y entonces se lía: el padre o la madre deja lo que estaba haciendo and|then|itself|it gets tangled|the|father|or|the|mother|it leaves|what|that|it was|doing |||s'implique|||||||||| And then it gets messy: the father or mother stops what they were doing

y va a echar la bronca al crío: "esto no se hace", "te he dicho que con la vajilla de la and|it goes|to|to give|the|scolding|to the|kid|this|not|itself|it does|you|I|said|that|with|the|dishes|of|the ||||||||||||||||||louça|| and goes to scold the kid: "this is not how it's done", "I told you not to play with the

bisabuela no juegues" y entonces se queda otra vez hasta que la ||play|and|then|itself|it stays|another|time|until|that|the great-grandmother's dishes" and then they stay again until the

situación está más o menos controlada, y entonces ¡otra vez! ||||||and|then|another|time situation is more or less under control, and then again!

Desaparece de nuevo haciendo el ninja y vuelta a empezar. it disappears|of|again|doing|the|ninja|and|turn|to|to start Disappears again doing the ninja and back to start.

Pero vamos a darle la vuelta, ¿como ve todo esto el pequeño? Pues él but|let's go|to|to give it|the|turn|how|he sees|all|this|the|little|well|he But let's turn it around, how does the little one see all this? Well, he

está tan tranquilo y tan a gusto cuando con alguno de sus padres cuando, de repente, he is|so|calm|and|so|to|comfortable|when|with|some|of|his|parents|when|of|suddenly is so calm and comfortable when with one of his parents when, suddenly,

absorto como ésta en el juego, se despista y su compañero de juegos absorbed|as|this one|in|the|game|himself|he gets distracted|and|his|companion|of|games absorbed like this in the game, he gets distracted and his playmate

desaparece. Entonces hace alguna de esas cosas que it disappears|then|it does|some|of|those|things|that disappears. Then it does one of those things that

sabe a ciencia cierta que atrae la atención de sus padres: it knows|to|science|certain|that|it attracts|the|attention|of|its|parents it knows for sure attracts its parents' attention:

jugar con la vajilla de la bisabuela, meter el dedo en el ojo al gato, quitarle to play|with|the|dishes|of|the|great-grandmother|to put|the|finger|in|the|eye|to the|cat|to take away from it playing with the great-grandmother's dishes, poking the cat in the eye, taking away

las hojas de los libros de los padres, etc... ¡son cosas que que no fallan! Cuando the|pages|of|the|books|of|the|parents|etc|they are|things|that|that|not|they fail|when the pages from the parents' books, etc... these are things that never fail! When

lo hacemos, los papis corriendo aparecen. Rápido aprenden que cuando están it|we do|the|parents|running|they appear|quickly|they learn|that|when|they are |||parents||||||| we do it, the parents running appear. They quickly learn that when they are

tranquilos disfrutando del juego se quedan solos, se quedan sin compañía, y calm|enjoying|of the|game|themselves|they stay|alone|themselves|they stay|without|company|and calm enjoying the game they are left alone, they are left without company, and

que cuando la lían, de repente la situación se vuelve mucho that|when|it|they mess up|all|sudden|the|situation|itself|it becomes|much that when they cause a mess, suddenly the situation becomes much

más divertida: los padres dejan lo que están haciendo, se olvidan de la comida more|fun|the|parents|they leave|what|that|they are|doing|themselves|they forget|of|the|food more fun: the parents leave what they are doing, they forget about the food

el fuego, y vuelven otra vez con ellos para seguir pasando un rato juntos. En the|fire|and|they return|another|time|with|them|to|to continue|passing|a|while|together|in the fire, and they come back with them to continue spending some time together. In

marketing se dice que, aunque sea mal, pero que hablen de ti. Pues con esto marketing|itself|it says|that|even if|it is|bad|but|that|they talk|about|you|well|with|this marketing, it is said that, even if it's bad, at least they talk about you. Well, with this

sería algo muy parecido: "aunque sea para echarte la bronca pero que vengan los papis" it would be|something|very|similar|even if|it is|to|to scold you|the|reprimand|but|that|they come|the|parents it would be something very similar: "even if it's to scold you, at least the parents come"

Lo que pasa es que, sin darnos cuenta, castigamos la "buena conducta" con nuestra ausencia, y the|that|happens|it is|that|without|us giving|account|we punish|the|good|behavior|with|our|absence|and ||||||||nous punissons||||||| What happens is that, without realizing it, we punish "good behavior" with our absence, and

premiamos otras conductas más molestas o más incómoda para nosotros we reward|other|behaviors|more|annoying|or|more|uncomfortable|for|us we reward other behaviors that are more annoying or uncomfortable for us

con nuestra presencia, acompañada por "divertidas broncas" para nuestros hijos. with|our|presence|accompanied|by|fun|scoldings|for|our|children with our presence, accompanied by "fun scoldings" for our children.

Esos momentos tan entrañables en los que movemos mucho las manos, nos ponemos those|moments|so|endearing|in|which|that|we move|a lot|the|hands|ourselves|we become Those endearing moments when we move our hands a lot, we get

rojos, levantamos la voz... y a veces los pequeños ¡hasta se ríen! ¿O no os ha pasado? red|we raise|the|voice|and|to|sometimes|the|little ones|even|themselves|they laugh|or|not|you|it has|happened red, raise our voices... and sometimes the little ones even laugh! Hasn't that happened to you?

Entonces, ¿qué podemos hacer? Está claro, cómo decíamos, que tenemos then|what|we can|to do|||||| So, what can we do? It is clear, as we said, that we have

que hacer cosas en casa y que no podemos estar todo el tiempo encima de los that||||||||||||||| to do things at home and that we cannot be on top of the

críos. ¿Qué podemos hacer? Lo primero, no nos escapemos: "cariño voy un rato la kids||||||||let's escape||||| kids all the time. What can we do? First, let's not escape: "Honey, I'm going to the

cocina y ahora vuelvo" Eso es mucho mejor estrategia que kitchen|and|now|I return|that|it is|much|better|strategy|than kitchen for a bit and I'll be right back". That is a much better strategy than

escapar como un ninja. También lo que podemos hacer es intentar compartir un mismo to escape|like|a|ninja|||||||||| escape like a ninja. Also, what we can do is try to share the same

espacio trasladando a la zona done tenemos que hacer algo el juego del space|moving|to|the|area|where|we have|to|to do|something|the|game|of the |||||faites-le||||||| space by moving to the area where we have to do something, the game of the

pequeño, o al revés, aprovechar donde está él crío o la cría para poder small|or|to the|reverse|to take advantage|where|he is|him|kid|or|the|girl|| little one, or vice versa, take advantage of where the kid is to be able to

hacer ahí las cosas y, al menos, nos ven y a veces sólo con eso ya se quedan más to do|there|the|things|and|at the|least|us|they see|and|to|sometimes|only|with|that|already|themselves|they stay|more do things there, and at least they see us, and sometimes just with that they stay longer.

tranquilos; no nos tienen otra habitación y no nos tienen que calm down; they don't have another room for us and they don't have to

llamar ni llamar de esa manera la atención. call us or draw attention to us that way.

Otro recurso importante es saber priorizar: por ejemplo, los días que Another important resource is knowing how to prioritize: for example, the days when

estamos solos y sin ayuda, quizá es el día para cenar algo menos we are alone and without help, maybe it's the day to have something less

elaborado que no implique 45 minutos en la cocina, con el niño protestando y llorando. elaborate|that|not|it implies|minutes|in|the|kitchen|with|the|child|protesting|and|crying elaborate that does not involve 45 minutes in the kitchen, with the child protesting and crying.

Otra opción más sencilla todavía es dejar another|option|more|simple|still|it is|to leave Another even simpler option is to leave

la comida preparada antes, para que cuando estemos con el niño solamente the|food|prepared|before|so that|that|when|we are|with|the|child|only the food prepared beforehand, so that when we are with the child it is only

sea calentarla, o directamente esperar a que lleguen los refuerzos para poder it is|to heat it|or|directly|to wait|for|that|they arrive|the|reinforcements|in order to|to be able to to heat it up, or just wait for reinforcements to arrive so we can

hacer esas cosas. Pero, sobre todo, algo que es más fácil de decir que de hacer, to do|those|things|but|above|all|something|that|it is|more|easy|to|to say|than|to|to do to do those things. But, above all, something that is easier said than done,

es que hay que prestar más atención a la conducta it is|that|there is|to|to pay|more|attention|to|the|behavior is that we need to pay more attention to positive behavior

positiva y no tanto a la negativa. Hay que reconocer y hay que elogiar (sin positive|and|not|so much|to|the|negative|there is|to|to recognize|and|there is|to|to praise|without |||||||||||||évaluer positivement| and not so much to negative behavior. We need to recognize and praise (without

exagerar)la conducta que queremos que se repita. exaggerating|the|behavior|that|we want|to|itself|to repeat exaggerating) the behavior we want to see repeated.

Por ejemplo, cuando esté jugando tranquilo, y cuando esté a gusto, hay que for|example|when|he/she is|playing|calm|and|when|he/she is|to|comfort|there is|to For example, when he is playing calmly, and when he is comfortable, we should

reconocérselo, y si quiere incluso podemos participar con él de de ese juego. to recognize it to himself|and|if|he/she wants|even|we can|to participate|with|him|in|of|that|game acknowledge it, and if he wants, we can even participate with him in that game.

Y algunos se preguntarán: "vale, ¿entonces le ignoramos cuando se comporte mal?" and|some|themselves|they will ask|okay|then|him|we ignore|when|himself|he behaves|badly And some may ask: "Okay, so do we ignore him when he behaves badly?"

La solución no es ni tan radical ni tan the|solution|not|it is|neither|so|radical|nor|so The solution is neither so radical nor so

simple como pasar olímpicamente del niño cuando la lía, y mucho menos simple|as|to pass|completely|of the|child|when|it|he messes up|and|much|less simple as completely ignoring the child when they misbehave, and much less

pasar de él cuando está pasándolo mal. Un niño que se comporta mal es porque to pass|of|him|when|he is|going through it|badly|a|child|that|himself|he behaves|badly|he is|because ignoring them when they are having a hard time. A child who misbehaves is because

no ha encontrado la forma adecuada de obtener el cariño, la compañía, o not|he has|found|the|way|appropriate|to|to obtain|the|affection|the|company|or they have not found the right way to obtain the affection, the company, or

simplemente la atención que requiere: "si la mejor forma atraer a mis padres simply|the|attention|that|he requires|if|the|best|way|to attract|to|my|parents simply the attention they need: "if the best way to attract my parents

es liándola, pues ya sé lo que tengo que hacer" it is|making it complicated|because|already|I know|what|that|I have|to|to do |fazendo besteira|||||||| |la compliquant|||||||| is making a mess, because I already know what I have to do"

La idea es atenderle más cuando se comporta "bien" y menos cuando hace cosas que no nos gustan the|idea|it is|to attend to him|more|when|himself|he behaves|well|and|less|when|he does|things|that|not|to us|we like The idea is to pay more attention to him when he behaves "well" and less when he does things we don't like

Pero la cosa es que muchas veces hacemos justo lo contrario. but|the|thing|it is|that|many|times|we do|just|the|opposite But the thing is that many times we do just the opposite. Entonces, si atendemos más a las then|if|we attend|more|to|the So, if we pay more attention to the

conductas positivas, todos estaremos un poco más a gusto y con menos behaviors|positive|everyone|we will be|a|little|more|to|comfort|and|with|less positive behaviors, we will all feel a little more comfortable and with less

necesidad de liarla para ser atendidos. necessity|to|to make a fuss|in order to|to be|attended to ||fazer barulho||| need to cause a scene to be attended to.

Y hasta aquí otra Píldora de and|until|here|another|pill|of And that’s it for another Pill of

Psicología, espero que os haya gustado. Si es así, no os olvidéis de |I hope|that|you|it has|liked|if|it is|so|not|you|forget|to Psychology, I hope you liked it. If so, don't forget to

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youtube. Allí encontraréis muchos más vídeos YouTube|there|you will find|many|more|videos youtube. There you will find many more videos

sobre estos temas, y también muchos más vídeos, artículos y consejos, todo en la about|these|topics|and|also|many|more|videos|articles|and|advice|all|on|the on these topics, and also many more videos, articles, and advice, all on the

página web albertosoler.es. Y recordad que ya page|web|||and|remember|that|already website albertosoler.es. And remember that already

tenéis las librerías nuestro libro "Hijos y padres felices", una guía para you have|the|bookstores|our|book|children|and|parents|happy|a|guide|to you have the libraries our book "Happy Children and Parents", a guide to

disfrutar de la crianza. Esperamos que os guste, la semana que to enjoy|of|the|upbringing|we hope|that|you|it pleases|the|week|that enjoying parenting. We hope you like it, next week, more tips! Cheers!

viene, ¡más píldoras! ¡Un saludooooo" comes|more|pills|a|health !