Sprečite svađe u porodici: provedite praznike BEZ STRESA Verhindern Sie Familienstreitigkeiten: Verbringen Sie die Feiertage STRESSFREI Prevent family quarrels: spend the holidays STRESS FREE

Dragi moji, dobrodošli!

Ja sam Slavica i ovo je moj YouTube kanal.

Danas ću da pričam o tome kako da Today I'm going to talk about how to

izbegnete svađu i stres za praznike. avoid arguments and stress for the holidays.

Ne znam da li ste znali, I don't know if you knew

da je u Britaniji

prvi ponedeljak nakon Božića i Nove godine the first Monday after Christmas and New Year

nazvan “Divorce day”, odnosno, called "Divorce day", that is,

za vas koji ne govorite engleski, “Dan za razvod”. for those of you who don't speak English, "Divorce Day".

Tokom praznika porodice provode During the holidays, families spend

mnogo više vremena zajedno, nego što su navikle, much more time together than they are used to,

mnogo više od uobičajenog. much more than usual.

I imaju neke rutine koje And they have some routines that

funkionišu inače tokom godine, normally function during the year,

ali za praznike nemaju. but they don't have any for holidays.

Ja želim da vam dam par ideja I want to give you some ideas

kako da izbegnete stres how to avoid stress

i kako da izbegnete svađe and how to avoid arguments

i da stvarno pretvorite praznike u predivne dane, and to really turn the holidays into wonderful days,

onako kako se i nadate da će da budu, as you hope they will be,

a ne da posle praznika and not after the holidays

ne volite da se sećate toga jer je bilo strašno. you don't like to remember it because it was terrible.

U mnogim porodicama dolazi do svađe. In many families, quarrels occur.

Zato bih ja volela da vas pozovem da jednostavno skupite svoju porodicu That is why I would like to invite you to simply gather your family

i da napravite jedan mali dogovor oko praznika. and make a small deal around the holidays.

Mnogo mnogo možete sebi da uštedite You can save yourself a lot

nervoze i loše atmosfere nervousness and bad atmosphere

tokom praznika ako me poslušate. during the holidays if you listen to me.

Okupite porodicu i kažite ovako: Gather the family and say this:

šta sve ima da se uradi pre praznika what is there to do before the holidays

i šta sve ima da se uradi tokom praznika and what there is to do during the holidays

i onda pitajte ko bi voleo nešto od toga da preuzme. and then ask who would like to take some of it.

Šta je to što možete da predate nekome, What is it that you can hand over to someone,

da urade deca, for children to do,

da uradi suprug… to do husband...

Znači, šta bi ko voleo i mogao da preuzme. So, what would anyone like and be able to take over.

Jer vrlo često se dešava Because it happens very often

da sve ostane na ženi. to leave everything up to the woman.

One kažu: “Ma nema veze, ja ću to. They say: "It doesn't matter, I'll do it."

Hoću da spremim ovo, hoću da spremim ono, I want to prepare this, I want to prepare that,

da očistim, da uredim, da sredim, to clean, to arrange, to arrange,

da ja sebe sredim i tako dalje to arrange myself and so on

i na kraju upadnu toliko u stres and end up getting so stressed

da postanu napete i nervozne to become tense and nervous

i unesu tu nervozu i napetost u celu porodicu. and bring that nervousness and tension into the whole family.

Vrlo često Very often

deca i suprug uopšte i ne vide šta vi sve imate da uradite. children and husband do not even see what you have to do.

Oni i ne znaju.

Zato je jako važno da znate da delegirate za praznike. That's why it's so important to know how to delegate for the holidays.

Znači, mora da se kupi to i to, mora da se spremi to i to, So, you have to buy this and that, you have to prepare this and that, mora da se uradi to i to, bla bla bla, this and that must be done, blah blah blah,

da bi nam praznici svima bili divni, to make the holidays wonderful for all of us,

ti uradi to, ti uradi to, ti uradi to, ti uradi to…

Date neke rokove, dogovorite se Give some deadlines, come to an agreement

kad ko može šta da uradi when who can do what

i pomirite se takođe sa tim da možda nešto neće ni biti urađeno. and accept also that something may not even get done.

Šta ima veze? Važno je da vi kao porodica i What does it matter? It is important that you as a family and

imate dobru atmosferu, a ne da sve bude perfektno i cakum pakum. you have a good atmosphere, and not for everything to be perfect and cakum pakum.

Znači, dogovorite se. So, come to an agreement.

A onda, kada neko nešto preuzme i uradi And then, when someone takes over and does something

jako je važno da i pre praznika it is very important that even before the holidays

i tokom praznika and during holidays

pokažete da cenite svačiji angažman. show that you value everyone's involvement.

Znači, svako u porodici

da kaže “hvala” onom drugom to say "thank you" to the other

koji je nešto uradio. who did something.

Ako je mama spremila ručak, If mom made lunch,

onda joj svi kažu: “Hvala, divno je!” then everyone tells her: "Thank you, it's wonderful!"

Ako je, ne znam, dete iznelo đubre, If, I don't know, a child took out the garbage,

“Hvala! Divno je što si to uradio”. "Thank you! It's great that you did that."

Ako je otac išao u nabavku, If the father went shopping,

“Hvala ti, divno je što si to doneo!” "Thank you, it's great that you brought that!"

Znači, da se zahvaljujete jedni drugima It means that you thank each other

za sve ono što neko za nekog uradi, for everything someone does for someone,

jer to će da podigne atmosferu i učini because that will raise the atmosphere and do

da se osećate dobro. Jako je to važno. to feel good. It is very important.

Znači, zahvalnost inače So, thanks by the way

čini da razumemo koliko nam je život divan makes us understand how wonderful our life is

i kada nam se ljudi zahvaljuju koje volimo i za koje puno radimo, and when people thank us whom we love and work hard for,

onda smo spremniji da uradimo još više. then we are more willing to do even more.

Ako se zahvalite onima oko vas što su vam pomogli If you thank those around you for helping you

i ne kažete: “Pa šta me briga, pa i ja radim puno, pa nema veze, and you don't say: "Well, what do I care, I also work a lot, so it doesn't matter,

neka oni to rade, let them do it

"podrazumeva se da nešto i oni urade" "it goes without saying that they do something too"

Nemojte to da radite! Don't do that!

Jednostavno, kažite “hvala” za sve.

I videćete, oni će želeti još više da preuzmu And you'll see, they'll want to take on even more

i sve više i više stvari će da rade sa radošću, and more and more things will work with joy,

zato što to neko vidi i neko ceni because someone sees it and someone appreciates it

i to je jako važno. and that is very important.

Takođe, šta vam još predlažem je, Also, what else I suggest you is,

da kao porodica sednete i razmislite o tome to sit down as a family and think about it

šta vi stvarno želite tokom praznika. what do you really want during the holidays.

Znači, šta su očekivanja svakog člana porodice. So, what are the expectations of each family member.

Mi uglavnom provedemo praznike tako što kažemo: We generally spend the holidays saying:

“Jao, pa trebalo bi…" "Oh, well, I should..."

moramo da uradimo ovo… we have to do this…

trebalo bi da pozovemo u goste te i te ljude... we should invite such and such people...

da pozovemo u goste dedu i babu… let's invite grandparents...

moramo da idemo kod ujne i kod tetke… we have to go to uncle and aunt's house...

"moramo ovo, moramo ono...." "we have to do this, we have to do that..."

Sedite i zapišite sve što “treba” i što “mora” Sit down and write down everything you "need" and "must"

i razmislite vi za vašu porodicu da date sebi dozvolu and think for your family to give yourself permission

da u ovim praznicima, ove godine, that in these holidays, this year,

radite samo ono što vam se radi. just do what you're told to do.

Nema “moram” i “treba”. Zašto? Pa ko vas tera? There is no "must" and "need". Why? So who is forcing you?

Znači, ako vam se ne ide So, if you don't feel like it

kod babe i dede, at grandma and grandpa's

oprostiće vam oni, they will forgive you

ali ostanite zajedno i razmislite šta ćete raditi zajedno. but stay together and think about what you will do together.

Ali, ako vam se ide kod babe i dede, onda obavezno idite. But if you feel like visiting your grandparents, then definitely go.

Razmislite šta je ono što cela porodica voli, Think about what the whole family likes,

u čemu uživate, what do you enjoy

jer je to izvor stresa kad neko radi nešto na silu. because it is a source of stress when someone does something by force.

Ili kad svi idete tamo na silu samo zato što “treba” ili “mora”. Or when you all go there by force just because you "should" or "must".

I onda su svi nervozni, onda atmosfera postane loša And then everyone is nervous, then the atmosphere becomes bad

i to je odlično tlo za svađu. and it is excellent ground for argument.

Što bi bilo šteta da se svađate za praznike… Which would be a shame to fight for the holidays…

Jer svi mi zamišljamo praznik idilično Because we all imagine the holiday as idyllic

“konačno imamo vremena za porodicu”, "we finally have time for family",

“možemo da se provedemo, biće nam lepo, biće ovo, biće ono… “ "we can have a good time, it will be nice, it will be this, it will be that..."

a onda, statistilke kažu, and then, statisticians say,

da duplo više razvodnih parnica that twice as many divorce cases

započne nakon praznika, nego inače. starts after the holidays, than usual.

I još ono što vam savetujem je, And what else I advise you is,

pošto vi sigurno znate šta je u vašoj porodici, since you surely know what is in your family,

koja tema u vašoj porodici what topic in your family

je stalni izvor konflikta. is a constant source of conflict.

Razmislite o tome, Think about it,

kad sedite zajedno i pravite sastanak za planiranje praznika, when you sit together and have a holiday planning meeting,

razmislite o tome

šta su teme o kojima uopšte ne želite da pričate za praznike. what are the topics you don't want to talk about at all for the holidays.

Šta je ono zbog čega znate da ćete se posvađati? What is it that you know you're going to fight about?

Najbolje bi bilo da ne pričate o tome. It would be best if you didn't talk about it.

Dogovorite se, ok, to je tema i kad neko počne tu temu, Agree, ok, that's a topic and when someone starts that topic,

svako od ostalih članova porodice sme da kaže: each of the other family members may say:

Ne pričamo o tome! Ne danas! We don't talk about it! Not today!

Pričaćemo posle praznika. Ne sada. We'll talk after the holidays. Not now.

Tako da izbegnete So you avoid

ono za šta znate sigurno da će da bude izvor konflikta, what you know for sure will be a source of conflict,

tako da se dogovorite da to ne radite so you agree not to do it

nipošto, nikako. by no means, not at all.

I ako ste gledali moju seriju

postavljanja ciljeva, goal setting,

onda bi bilo divno da možda,

u tom vašem dogovoru, razmislite in that deal of yours, think about it

šta vam je cilj za praznike. what is your goal for the holidays

Da kažete, vidimo stvarno našu porodicu You say, we see our real family

kako za praznike provodimo how we spend the holidays

divno vreme zajedno, smejući se, radeći wonderful time together, laughing, working

ono što volimo, uživajući u zajedničkim trenucima what we love, enjoying the moments together

i da onda napravite jedan plan. and then make a plan.

Svaki cilj zahteva akcioni plan da bi bio sproveden u delo, Every goal requires an action plan to be implemented,

da bi se ostvario. to come true.

Zato napravite plan, So make a plan,

šta ćete raditi prvi dan, what will you do on your first day

šta ćete raditi drugi dan,

šta ćete raditi treći dan,

dogovorite se svi zajedno. come to an agreement all together.

Nemojte očekivati da drugi možda znaju, Don't expect that others may know,

da deca znaju, da muž zna šta vi hoćete, that the children know, that the husband knows what you want,

nego sedite i kažite, rather sit and say,

“šta biste voleli da radimo prvi dan, šta biste voleli da radimo drugi dan”, "what would you like us to do on the first day, what would you like us to do on the second day",

šta biste voleli da radimo na Badnji dan, na Božić…

Hajde da napravimo plan, da znamo Let's make a plan, let's know

i da se svi sa tim složimo, kako niko ne bi išao ovako :( and let's all agree with that, so that no one goes like this :(

nego da budete svi raspoloženi, than to be in good spirits,

da vam bude lepo. to be nice to you.

Dozvolite pauze, Allow breaks,

dozvolite sebi pauzu, dozvolite članovima porodice allow yourself a break, allow family members

da možda izađu popodne i idu sa društvom na kafu, to maybe go out in the afternoon and go for coffee with friends,

izađite i vi sa drugaricom na kafu. go out for coffee with your friend.

Kažite im: “Ja hoću 1. januara popodne, na primer, Tell them: "I want on the afternoon of January 1, for example,

da idem sa svojom drugaricom na kafu i celo popodne ću biti odsutna. to go with my friend for coffee and I will be away all afternoon.

To je moja pauza That's my break

i ja hoću taj mir za sebe, and I want that peace for myself,

vi izvolite radite tada šta vama odgovara. you please do what suits you then.

Dogovorite se tako. Agree so.

Tako da svako ima svoj prostor i svako ima ono što želi. So everyone has their own space and everyone has what they want.

Naravno, potrebno je malo kompromisa,

ako neko baš voli da ide u goste kod babe i dede if someone really likes to visit their grandparents

i samo ste vi jedan član koji ne voli, and you are the only member who does not like,

onda možda možete da kažete: then maybe you can say:

“Ok, vi idite kod babe i dede, a ja ću taj dan da iskoristim za svoju pauzu "Ok, you go to grandma and grandpa, and I will use that day for my break

da uradim nešto sasvim drugo”. to do something completely different”.

Ali dozvolite članu koji ne želi da radi nešto sa vama da ne radi, But let a member who doesn't want to do something with you not do it,

da je to sasvim ok, nek radi nešto drugo. that's perfectly fine, let him do something else.

Ali kada se nađete ponovo, bićete srećni, But when you meet again, you'll be happy,

bićete zadovoljni imaćete divnu atmosferu. you will be satisfied, you will have a wonderful atmosphere.

Eto, dragi moji, iskoristite praznike There, my dears, take advantage of the holidays

da vežbate sve što ste naučili u "Tutorijalu o ciljevima" to practice everything you learned in the "Goals Tutorial"

i da stvarno primenite to and to actually apply it

i da imate fantastične praznike.

I ako vam je ovo bilo korisno, And if you found this helpful,

pritisnite SUBSCRIBE i zvonce

da vas obavestimo o sledećim videima, to inform you about the following videos,

jer vas čeka puno dobrih stvari, svakog četvrtka ovde kod nas, because a lot of good things await you, every Thursday here at our place,

a ponekad nešto i između četvrtaka, and sometimes something between Thursdays,

a takođe bih volela da podelite ovo sa svojim prijateljima and I would also like you to share this with your friends

sa rodbinom, sa svim ljudima za koje mislite da će with relatives, with all the people you think will

ovi saveti kako da izbegnu svađu i stres za praznike these tips to avoid arguments and stress for the holidays

stvarno da pomognu. really help.

Znači, kliknite i šerujte So, click and spread

i lajkujte ovaj video

i tako učinite da ja znam da vam and so make me know that you

ovo znači i da treba da nastavim sa ovim da radim, this also means that I should continue to do this,

jer sam jako srećna ako vama znači. because I'm very happy if you mean it.

Pišite mi dole Write me below

još neke ideje, dajte mi neke svoje ideje some more ideas, give me some of your ideas

kako vi učinite neke svoje praznike lepim, how do you make some of your holidays beautiful,

dajte da drugi ljudi pročitaju let other people read it

i da jedni drugima pomognemo da nam praznici budu lepi. and to help each other make our holidays beautiful.

Ja vam od srca želim divne praznike,

da se lepo provedete, have a nice time,

da mi pišete kako vam je bilo

jeste li šta isprobali, kako je uspelo have you tried anything, how did it work

i šta još imate od ideja. and what other ideas do you have.

A mi se vidimo odmah posle Nove godine. And we'll see each other right after the New Year.