Kako izaći na kraj sa TEŠKIM ljudima? Wie gehe ich mit SCHWIERIGEN Menschen um? How to deal with DIFFICULT people? Как общаться со СЛОЖНЫМИ людьми?

Dragi moji, ja sam Slavica i ovo je moj YouTube kanal.

Ovde svakog četvrtka možete da dobijete

korisne savete kako da kreirate

posao i život koje ćete da obožavate.

U današnjem videu radi se o tome

kako da izađete na kraj sa teškim ljudima how to deal with difficult people

sa ljudima sa kojima deluje ponekad with the people he works with sometimes

da je nemoguće prijatno komunicirati that it is impossible to communicate pleasantly

i uspostaviti dobar odnos. and establish a good relationship.

Ponekad to mogu da budu vaša deca, Sometimes it can be your children,

nekad su to roditelji, sometimes it's the parents,

nekada su to supružnici sometimes they are spouses

kolege, šefovi,

može da bude bilo ko. it can be anyone.

A naročito je važno da znate šta da uradite And it is especially important that you know what to do

kada se radi o ljudima koje ne možete tek tako da zamenite. when it comes to people you can't just replace.

znači, neke ljude iz vaše porodice koji su vama važni, means, some people from your family who are important to you,

ali teški... jako teški. but heavy... very heavy.

I ne možete s njima. And you can't with them.

Ima ljudi koji vam na primer, ne gledaju u oči. There are people who, for example, don't look you in the eye.

Ljudi koji non stop pričaju... People who talk non-stop...

i ne možete da ih prekinete. Monotoni su and you can't stop them. They are monotonous

u izlaganju. in the presentation.

Imate ljude koji vam upadaju u reč. You have people interrupting you.

Znači, sve te neke stvari So, all those things

želim da vas naučim I want to teach you

da razumete šta se tu dešava to understand what is happening there

i šta vi možete da uradite da olakšate sebi and what you can do to make it easier for yourself

i šta možete da uradite da olakšate i njima and what you can do to make it easier for them too

odnos sa vama. relationship with you.

Tako da vam svima postane lakše So that it becomes easier for all of you

i da zaista možete da and that you really can

na neki način uživate in a way you enjoy it

u vašoj komunikaciji ili barem,

ili barem da vam bude nekoliko procenata lakše. or at least make it a few percent easier for you.

Šta se u stvari What in fact

krije tu i šta valja znati? hide there and what should be known?

Ja sam inače NLP ekspert

i bavim se neuro-lingvističkim programiranjem

koje nama, u stvari, razjašnjava šta se dešava which, in fact, explains to us what is happening

i našem umu i kako komunikacija uopšte funkcioniše. and our mind and how communication works in general.

Kako funkcioniše sa nama samima, How it works with ourselves,

i kako funkcioniše naša komunikacija s drugim ljudima and how our communication with other people works

i kako možemo to efikasnije da kreiramo, and how we can create it more effectively,

kada razumemo neke stvari kojih nismo svesni. when we understand some things we are not aware of.

U ovom slučaju, ja želim da vas uputim na nešto In this case, I want to direct you to something

što se u NLP-u zove mozgovni jezici. which in NLP is called brain languages.

A NLP nam kaže ovako:

mi govorimo možda istim jezikom we may speak the same language

na primer srpskim, hrvatskim

makedonskim, engleskim,

nemačkim... nije važno.

Vi znate da ja govorim razne jezike. You know that I speak different languages.

Ali ono što ne znamo je But what we don't know is

da u okviru tih jezika, that within those languages,

mi možemo da govorimo različitim jezicima. we can speak different languages.

A kako to u stvari nastaje? And how does it actually come about?

Nastaje iz načina koji je naš preferentni način razmišljanja. It arises from the way that is our preferred way of thinking.

A to opet znači

da neki ljudi yes some people

kada razmišljaju o nečemu when they think about something

najviše razmišljaju u slikama. they think mostly in pictures.

Pa na primer, ako vam ja sada kažem

Setite se nekog divnog putovanja na kom ste nekada bili. Think of a wonderful trip you once took.

I nekima od vas odmah će slike da se jave. And for some of you, the images will immediately come to mind.

Šta god da su tada videli biće tu, Whatever they saw then will be there,

ljudi koji su bili s njima, the people who were with them,

šta su imali na sebi... what were they wearing...

Sve će to tako da se pojavi, It will all appear that way,

jako brzo.

Kod nekih će prvo da se pojavi taj osećaj For some, that feeling will appear first

divnog putovanja have a wonderful trip

ili će kod nekih da bude šta su tada čuli, or some will have what they heard then,

šta su pričali sa drugim ljudima, what did they talk to other people,

kako je to funkcionisalo. how did it work.

I mi imamo ta tri elementa:

znači, da vidimo,

da čujemo lets hear it

i da osećamo.

I to su naša čula And those are our senses

i to je nešto što svaki čovek ima.

Znači, svaki čovek koristi slike da bi se setio nečega, So, every person uses images to remember something,

može da se seti zvukova can remember sounds

i može da se seti kako mu je bilo: da li mu je bilo and he can remember how it was for him: whether it was for him

prijatno - neprijatno, hlatno - toplo, ovako ili onako... pleasant - unpleasant, lukewarm - warm, one way or another...

Ali nije svaki čovek isti But not every man is the same

po tome šta mu je primarno

Ali, ono po čemu smo svi isti je da But what we all have in common is that

mislimo da je način na koji mi razmišljamo we think the way we think

je i drugima, u stvari, način na koji oni razmišljaju. is to others, in fact, the way they think.

Zato ne shvatamo: šta je s ljudima? That's why we don't understand: what about people?

Zašto nas ne razumeju? Ponekad se pitamo Why don't they understand us? Sometimes we wonder

jel govorimo kineski? do we speak chinese?

Šta je? U čemu je problem? What is it? What is the problem?

Ponekad je to zaista slučaj sa našim najmilijima. Sometimes this is indeed the case with our loved ones.

Nekad se dešava da roditelj govori s detetom Sometimes it happens that a parent talks to a child

i pita se: da li ja govorim kineski? Zašto me ovo dete ne razume? and he wonders: do I speak Chinese? Why doesn't this child understand me?

Ili sa svojim supružnikom pričamo i pitamo se Or we talk to our spouse and wonder

Bože, šta je s njim? God, what's wrong with him?

Normalno me razume, ali...

ali vrlo često se dešava da imam utisak da govorim kineski... but very often it happens that I have the impression that I speak Chinese...

I to je zaista

razlog ovo što sam vam napomenula the reason I mentioned to you

i sad ću da vam objasnim kako. and now I will explain to you how.

Ljudi koji People who

uglavnom razmišljaju u slikama they mostly think in pictures

čija je primarno u neurologiji whose primary focus is in neurology

slika kao način na kojinjihov um funkcioniše, image as the way their mind works,

su ljudi koji jako brzo are people who very quickly

govore, jako brzo misle, they speak, they think very fast,

i to su ljudi koji će uvek upadati u reč drugim ljudima. and these are people who will always interrupt other people.

I to nije zato što su oni nevaspitani, And it's not because they're uneducated,

ili nestrpljivi... or impatient...

Nego prosto, njihov mozak tako funkcioniše. That's simply how their brain works.

Slike su jako brze. Images are very fast.

I njima to stalno ide. Njihov jezik sam ne može da stigne And it always works out for them. Their language alone cannot reach

slike koje se u njihovoj glavi dešavaju the images that happen in their head

pa će oni i sami prekinuti rečenicu so they will end the sentence themselves

i nastaviti nešto drugo and continue something else

i ako vidite dvoje koji su (mi ih zovemo vizuelci), and if you see two who are (we call them visuals),

ako vidite dvoje da pričaju, vi ćete čuti kako oni pričaju uglas, if you see two talking, you will hear them talking in unison,

kako upadaju jedni drugima u reč how they interrupt each other

ali slatko se ispričaju! Niko se tu ne ljuti but they apologize sweetly! No one gets angry there

Niko nema problem s tim!

Bukvalno, sve funkcioniše super!

I onda imamo ljude koji su And then we have people who are

auditivci - kažemo to za one koji koriste auditory - we say that for those who use

najviše to što čuju mostly what they hear

Oni vole da njihove rečenice budu tako They like their sentences to be like that

harmonične, jako mrze kad im ovi upadnu u reč, harmonious, they really hate it when they get in their way,

vole da to lepo traje od početka do kraja they like it to last nicely from start to finish

sve šta su oni zamislili da kažu everything they thought to say

da to sve od početka do kraja, da to niko ne prekida. that everything from beginning to end, that no one interrupts it.

Jako im smeta kad ih neko prekida. It really bothers them when someone interrupts them.

A sad, opet, postoje i oni kojima su And now, again, there are those who are

ti emocije, dodiri, you emotions, touches,

osećaji i tako...

u stvari ključni in fact the key

i oni su nekako drugačiji skroz and they are somehow completely different

od ova dva druga tipa

mi ih zovemo kinestetički tip we call them the kinesthetic type

u NLP-u i oni u stvari su in NLP they actually are

oni ljudi koji vas ne gledaju u oči those people who don't look you in the eye

zato što oni, da bi razmišljali efektivno because they, in order to think effectively

oni moraju da skrenu pogled. Oni gledaju tako malo dole... they have to look away. They look down so little...

razmišljaju dok vi pričate i they think while you talk and

i onima koji su vizuelni su jako naporni, jer su spori and those who are visual are very tiring, because they are slow

za njihov ukus. for their taste.

I nervira ih što ih ne gledaju u oči And it annoys them that they don't look them in the eye

zato što onima koji su vizuelni je jako važno da ih ljudi gledaju u oči. because for those who are visual, it is very important that people look them in the eye.

Ekstremno im ide na živce kad ih neko ne gleda u oči It gets on their nerves extremely when someone doesn't look them in the eye

mrze to, zato što nemaju kontakt they hate it, because they have no contact

Zato što, na primer, oni koji su vizuelni Because, for example, those who are visual

oni uopšte ne shvataju da je moguće they don't even realize it's possible

nekoga slušati, a da ga ne gledaš listen to someone without looking at them

Zato što njima to nije moguće. Because it is not possible for them.

Interesantno je da u stvari It is interesting that in fact

se to odražava na način na koji mi govorimo. it is reflected in the way we speak.

Znači, način na koji mi razmišljamo So, the way we think

se odražava direktno

na ono što govorimo.

Vizuelci razmišljaju u slikama

i oni će svojim govorom and they will with their speech

opisivati ono što vide describe what they see

Reći će da je sjajno, baviće se They'll say it's great, they'll deal with it

bojama, njima je jako važno colors, it is very important to them

kako su uklopljene boje, da je sve na svome mestu... how the colors are combined, that everything is in its place...

jednostavno su vizuelci. they are simply visuals.

Njima bode oči kad nešto nije Their eyes sting when something is wrong

harmonično posloženo po bojama

kad nije na svome mestu i tako dalje. when he is not in his place and so on.

To njima bode oči. Dok, na primer, ovim ostalima - ne. It stings their eyes. While, for example, these others - no.

To njima uopšte ne smeta. It doesn't bother them at all.

Naročito ne kinestetičarima. Especially not to kinesthetic people.

Kinestetičarima je potpuno svejedno Kinestheticians don't care

koje je šta boje what is what color

njima je važno da se onako na dodir It is important for them to be that kind of touch

to nekako slaže. it kind of adds up.

Da bude meko sa mekim, da To be soft with soft, yes

da bude toplo... to je njima važnije. to be warm... that is more important to them.

i vi ćete videti potpuno šareno obučenu osobu and you will see a completely colorfully dressed person

kod koje nema veze boja s bojom, where color has nothing to do with color,

i možete da pretpostavite da će najverovatnije and you can assume that they most likely will

biti kinestetičar.

Ali dobro, kod oblačenja nije to toliko važno, But well, it's not that important when it comes to dressing up,

koliko nam je u stvari važno kod komunikacije. how important it is to us in communication.

Ako su na primer roditelji vizuelnog tipa If, for example, the parents are of the visual type

a deca kinestetičari,

tu uvek postoje problemi.

Zato što će roditelji

biti potpuno nesrećni

kada govore nešto detetu, kada pokušavaju nešto da mu objasne when they say something to a child, when they try to explain something to him

a dete ih ne gleda u oči. and the child does not look them in the eye.

Takođe će biti nesrećni kada nateraju dete da ih gleda u oči i They will also be unhappy when they make a child look them in the eye and

i shvate da ih u stvari gleda u oči, ali and they realize that he is actually looking into their eyes, but

ih ne čuje.

Jer je to slučaj sa kinestetičarima.

I zato je moj savet ako imate nekoga ko je kinestetičar And so my advice is if you have someone who is a kinesthetic person

ako ste otkrili kroz ovo da stvarno imate nekoga ko if you have discovered through this that you really have someone who

kome treba vremena da odgovori

treba mu vremena da razmisli, he needs time to think

da mu dozvolite da vas ne gleda u oči. to allow him not to look you in the eye.

Da jednostavno gleda gde voli da gleda,

gleda dole

i da vi u stvari

budete opušteni sa tim be relaxed with it

i da mu dozvolite da uzme vremena koliko mu je potrebno. and to let him take the time he needs.

Mi kažemo uvek We say always

najbolja rečenica u odnosu sa kinestetičarima je the best sentence in relation to kinesthetics is

uzmi vremena koliko ti je potrebno. take as much time as you need.

Kinestetičari vole dodir. Oni vole možda Kinesthetes love touch. They love maybe

sa vama da uspostave kontakt to contact you

da vas dodirnu, ako ste im bliski, naravno. to touch you, if you are close to them, of course.

Ne dodiruju sve ljude, ali They don't touch all people, but

ako su vaša deca, oni vole da vas dodirnu, if it's your kids, they love to touch you,

da vas pipnu i pipaće i sami sebe to touch you and they will touch themselves

vole sebe da dodiruju tako they like to touch themselves like that

tako stiču nekako osećaj o sebi. that's how they somehow get a sense of themselves.

Dok na primer, to vizuelce može da nervira dosta. Whereas, for example, it can annoy the visuals a lot.

Kinestetička deca vole da priđu blizu svojim roditeljima, dok Kinesthetic children like to get close to their parents, while

oni koji su vizuelni vole da im to tu bude tako slobodno. those who are visual like to have it so freely there.

Ne voli da im bilo ko prilazi blizu. They don't like anyone getting close to them.

Da im tu gde oni razmišljaju, gde su njihove slike To give them where they think, where their pictures are

da im bude slobodno

da bude sve harmonično, da bude sve na svom mestu for everything to be harmonious, for everything to be in its place

i da ljudi brzo misle.

Kad oni nekog nešto pitaju, vizuelci vole da When they ask someone something, visual people like to say yes

odmah dobiju odgovor. they get an answer right away.

Ako ne dobiju odgovor odmah,

oni odmah pomisle da s osobom preko puta nešto nije u redu. they immediately think that something is wrong with the person across the street.

Oni ne mogu da razumeju da

se radi o kinestetičkoj osobi.

Zato što ne znaju ništa o tome. Because they don't know anything about it.

Da se radi možda o jednoj izuzetno inteligentnoj,

ali kinestetičkoj osobi,

čija neurologija drugačije funkcioniše.

I treba malo vremena

da kroz neurologiju

emociju i sve ono što je potrebno jednom kinestetičaru da razmišlja,

nekako dođe na površinu it somehow comes to the surface

i oni mogu da to verbalizuju.

Znači, njima treba jednostavno duže vremena. So, they simply need more time.

To ne znači da su glupi,

naprotiv,

jako često su izuzetni, very often they are exceptional,

jer oni dosta dobro isprocesiraju stvari because they process things quite well

i kad kažu, rekli su.

Ali to su opet oni ljudi koje možete pitati But then again those are the people you can ask

"Jesi li gladan?" i oni će vam reći: "Ne znam". "Are you hungry?" and they will tell you: "I don't know".

I onda, ako vi niste kinestetičar, vi nećete razumeti to And then, if you're not a kinesthetic person, you won't understand it

vi ćete reći: "Bože, kako ne zna da li je gladan?!"

I stalno onda nastaju tu nekako And then they constantly arise there somehow

ta trenja u komunikaciji that friction in communication

između ljudi koji govore te različite jezike between people who speak those different languages

zato što drugačije govore.

Nekom će biti lepo da kaže... Someone will be nice to say...

Evo, ja sam sad rekla "Lepo". Ja sam vizuelac.

I ja brzo govorim, nekad prekinem rečenicu

i ljudi koji su vizuelci, njima je verovatno and people who are visual, it is likely for them

način na koji ja govorim prijatan. the way i speak is pleasant.

Ali može da bude ljudima koji su auditivni, na primer, But it can be for people who are auditory, for example,

neprijatan, zato što ja prekinem ponekad i unpleasant, because I interrupt sometimes and

dinamično govorim I speak dynamically

dok je na primer auditivnom tipu while for example the auditory type

važno da to bude harmonično

da bude ujednačeno.

da ima početak, sredinu i kraj, to have a beginning, middle and end,

što kod mene nekad nema i which I sometimes don't have

ja verujem da je njima malo teže da me slušaju. I believe that it is a little harder for them to listen to me.

Ali, njih nema toliko puno, tako da But there aren't that many of them, so yes

ja se nadam da ipak,

svi vi uživate u onome što slušate. all of you are enjoying what you are listening to.

I ja se zaista trudim da budem za sve

za sva tri tipa

da mogu da uče od mene.

To mi je jako važno: da mogu da nauče i da mogu i oni That is very important to me: that they can learn and that they can too

pametniji na neki način i da im ovo bude korisno. smarter in a way and for this to be useful to them.

Znači da zaključimo: imamo ljude So let's conclude: we have people

čiji je primarni način razmišljanja whose primary way of thinking is

vizuelni, znači razmišljaju u slikama,

i govorom opisuju te slike. and describe those pictures with speech.

I ljudi koji su vizuelni takođe lako

takođe lako pretvaraju u slike u svojoj glavi. they also easily turn it into pictures in their head.

Ostalima nije tako lako. It's not so easy for the others.

Imamo ljude koji su auditivni

Znači, vole onako malo duže da So, they like it a little longer

uzmu vremena za priču take time for the story

i da im se dozvoli to and to allow them to do so

i reći će vam: "Nemoj da me prekidaš dok govorim", and they will say to you, "Don't interrupt me while I'm talking,"

zato što to oni jako mrze. because they hate it so much.

Kao što će vam vizuelac reći: "Gledaj me u oči dok ti pričam!" As the visualist will tell you, "Look me in the eye while I'm talking!"

ovaj će vam reći: "Nemoj da me prekidaš dok govorim", this one will tell you: "Don't interrupt me while I'm talking",

a kinestetičaru će trebati vremena.

On će jednostavno pogledati dole, He will simply look down,

trebaće mu prostor da he will need space to

vas ne gleda i kad ga nešto pitate da he doesn't look at you even when you ask him something

mu date dovoljno vremena give him enough time

da može da razmisli to be able to think

i da vam da dobar odgovor. and give you a good answer.

Zato je najbolja strategija sa kinestetičarom da mu kažete So the best strategy with the kinestheticist is to tell them

uzmi vremena koliko ti je potrebno,

razmisli o tome,

i dođi. I oni će doći jako brzo, možda and come. And they will come very soon, maybe

kad izgovorite to, when you say it,

ćete čuti da oni odahnu, kao: "Uh, dobro je..." you'll hear them breathe a sigh of relief, like, "Uh, it's good..."

i onda kad odahnu, and then when they breathe,

vi ćete moći jako brzo da očekujete odgovor you will be able to expect an answer very quickly

zato što je to lako za njih. because it's easy for them.

Naročito ako su deca, obratite pažnju na njih, Especially if they are children, pay attention to them,

jer oni mogu da imaju problema u školi, because they may have problems at school,

zato što, ako su u školi, because if they are in school,

vizuelni profesori, a jako

velika većina ljudi danas su The vast majority of people today are

vizuelci.

Oni će očekivati od njih jako brzo odgovor, They will expect a very quick response from them,

a kinestetička deca neće moći brzo da daju taj odgovor. and kinesthetic children will not be able to give that answer quickly.

To ne znači da neće moći da ga daju, That doesn't mean they won't be able to give it,

samo neće moći brzo.

On i možda pet sekundi

ili trideset sekundi nakon što je profesor zaključio da oni ne znaju, or thirty seconds after the professor concluded that they did not know,

znaju odgovor,

ali samo ne mogu tako brzo da ga daju. but they just can't give it that fast.

Zato je potrebno da se nešto snalaze. That is why it is necessary to find something.

Nauče oni da se kroz život snalaze They learn to navigate through life

i tu ima jako puno and there are a lot of them

o ovome još da se priča i da se nauči this is still to be talked about and learned

i na našem NLP Starteru and on our NLP Starter

možete da naučite

još puno o komunikaciji

između ova tri različita tipa

da naučite kako govori jedan, kako govori drugi

kako govori treći, kako vi da upotrebite

nešto od toga, kako biste unapredili svoju komunikaciju. some of it, to improve your communication.

Naš Online NLP Starter vam stoji na raspolaganju

odakle god da ste,

pogledajte dole link

i pridružite nam se da naučite ovo and join us to learn this

i da zaista olakšate sebi život i svima onima koji and to really make life easier for yourself and for all those who

ga sa vama dele they share it with you

a volite ih iako vam je sa njima ponekad jako teško. and you love them even though it is sometimes very difficult for you.

Eto, ja se nadam da se uskoro vidimo, Well, I hope to see you soon,

pišite mi dole šta biste još voleli da vam snimim, write me below what else you would like me to record for you,

i vidimo se uskoro.