Jø Nesbø - Hodejegerne Part 38 Jo Nesbø - The Headhunters Part 38

Jeg heiste meg opp på armene og stirret vantro og forferdet ned mot punktet der våre kropper var sammenkoplet. I|lifted|myself|up|on|arms|and|stared|incredulously|and|horrified|down|towards|point|where|our|bodies|were|connected I lifted myself up on my arms and stared in disbelief and horror down at the point where our bodies were connected. Skjødet hennes trakk seg sammen som om hun ville skyve meg ut, hun stønnet dypt, en slags rauting jeg aldri hadde hørt før, og så kom neste bølge. her|her|pulled|herself|together|as|if|she|wanted|to push|me|out|she|moaned|deeply|a|kind of|bellowing|I|never|had|heard|before|and|then|came|next|wave Her vagina tightened as if she wanted to push me out, she moaned deeply, a kind of bellowing I had never heard before, and then the next wave came. Vannet fosset ut av henne, sprutet ut mellom hoftekammene våre og rant ned i madrassen som ennå ikke hadde rukket å suge til seg den første bølgen. the water|gushed|out|from|her|sprayed|out|between|hip bones|our|and|flowed|down|into|mattress|that|still|not|had|had time|to|to soak|to|itself|the|first|wave The water gushed out of her, spraying out between our hip bones and running down into the mattress that had not yet had time to absorb the first wave. Herregud, tenkte jeg. oh my god|I thought|I Oh my God, I thought. Jeg har stukket hull på henne. I|have|stuck|hole|in|her I have punctured her. I panikk lette hjernen etter årsakssammenhenger. in|panic|searched|the brain|for|causal connections In panic, my brain searched for causal connections. Hun er gravid, tenkte jeg. she|is|pregnant|I thought|I She is pregnant, I thought. Og jeg har akkurat stukket hull på den der posen som fosteret ligger i, og nå renner hele dritten ut i senga. and|I|have|just|stuck|hole|in|that|there|bag|that|fetus|lies|in|and|now|flows|all|shit|out|in|bed And I have just punctured that bag that the fetus is in, and now all the crap is spilling out onto the bed. Herregud, vi svømmer i liv og død, det er et vannbarn, enda et vannbarn! oh my god|we|swim|in|life|and|death|it|is|a|water baby|yet|another|water baby Oh my God, we are swimming in life and death, it's a water baby, yet another water baby! Jeg hadde riktignok lest om såkalte våte orgasmer hos kvinner, OK, jeg hadde kanskje sett det i en og annen pornofilm også, men jeg hadde oppfattet det som juks, påfunn, en mannlig fantasi om å ha en likeverdig, ejakulerende partner. I|had|indeed|read|about|so-called|wet|orgasms|in|women|OK|I|had|perhaps|seen|it|in|a|and|another|porn movie|too|but|I|had|perceived|it|as|cheating|invention|a|male|fantasy|about|to|have|a|equal|ejaculating|partner I had indeed read about so-called wet orgasms in women, OK, I might have seen it in one or another porn film as well, but I had perceived it as cheating, a contrivance, a male fantasy of having an equal, ejaculating partner. Alt jeg greide å tenke der jeg lå, var at dette var gjengjeldelsen, gudenes straff for at jeg hadde overtalt Diana til den aborten: At jeg skulle ta livet av nok et uskyldig barn med min uvørne pikk. all|I|managed|to|think|there|I|lay|was|that|this|was|retribution|gods'|punishment|for|that|I|had|convinced|Diana|to|the|abortion|that|I|would|take|life|of|enough|a|innocent|child|with|my|careless|dick All I could think as I lay there was that this was the retribution, the gods' punishment for having persuaded Diana to have that abortion: That I would take the life of yet another innocent child with my careless dick.

Jeg hadde kommet meg ut på gulvet og hadde revet dyna av senga, Lotte hadde fart sammen, men jeg hadde ikke enset den sammenkrøpne, nakne kroppen hennes, bare stirret på den mørke sirkelen som fortsatt bredte seg ut på lakenet. I|had|come|myself|out|on|the floor|and|had|torn|the duvet|off|the bed|Lotte|had|rushed|together|but|I|had|not|noticed|the|curled up|naked|body|her|just|stared|at|the|dark|circle|that|still|spread|itself|out|on|the sheet I had gotten out onto the floor and had torn the duvet off the bed, Lotte had rushed together, but I hadn't noticed her curled-up, naked body, just stared at the dark circle that was still spreading out on the sheet. Sakte gikk det opp for meg hva som hadde skjedd. slowly|went|it|up|to|me|what|that|had|happened Slowly it dawned on me what had happened. Eller enda viktigere; hva som heldigvis ikke hadde skjedd. or|even|more important|what|that|fortunately|not|had|happened Or even more importantly; what fortunately had not happened. Men skaden var skjedd, det var for sent, det var ingen vei tilbake. but|the damage|was|happened|it|was|too|late|it|was|no|way|back But the damage was done, it was too late, there was no way back.

«Jeg må gå,» hadde jeg sagt. I|must|go|had|I|said "I have to go," I had said. «Dette kan ikke fortsette.» this|can|not|continue "This cannot continue."

«Hvad skal du?» hadde Lotte hvisket fra sin fosterstilling, knapt hørbart. what|shall|you|had|Lotte|whispered|from|her|fetal position|barely|audible "What are you going to do?" Lotte had whispered from her fetal position, barely audible.

«Jeg er forferdelig lei meg,» sa jeg. I|am|terribly|tired|me|said|I "I am terribly sorry," I said. «Men jeg må gå hjem og be Diana om tilgivelse.» but|I|must|go|home|and|ask|Diana|for|forgiveness "But I have to go home and ask Diana for forgiveness."

«Men det kommer du slet ikke til at få,» hadde Lotte hvisket. but|it|will come|you|hardly|not|to||get|had|Lotte|whispered "But you will never get that," Lotte had whispered.

Jeg hadde ikke hørt en lyd fra soverommet mens jeg hadde skylt lukta hennes av hendene og munnen på baderommet og så gått, lukket ytterdøra forsiktig igjen bak meg. I|had|not|heard|a|sound|from|the bedroom|while|I|had|rinsed|the smell|her|off|hands|and|mouth|in|the bathroom|and|then|left|closed|the front door|carefully|again|behind|me I hadn't heard a sound from the bedroom while I had washed her scent off my hands and mouth in the bathroom and then left, carefully closing the front door behind me.

Og nå – tre måneder senere – sto jeg igjen i entréen hennes, og jeg visste at det ikke var Lotte, men jeg som hadde hundeøyne denne gangen. and|now|three|months|later|stood|I|again|in|the entrance|her|and|I|knew|that|it|not|was|Lotte|but|I|who|had|dog eyes|this|time And now – three months later – I stood again in her hallway, and I knew that it wasn't Lotte, but I who had dog eyes this time.

«Kan du tilgi meg?» spurte jeg. can|you|forgive|me|asked|I "Can you forgive me?" I asked.

«Kunne hun ikke?» spurte Lotte uten tonefall. could|she|not|asked|Lotte|without|intonation "Couldn't she?" Lotte asked without inflection. Men kanskje det bare var dansk tonefall. but|maybe|it|just|was|Danish|intonation But maybe it was just a Danish inflection.

«Jeg fortalte henne aldri hva som skjedde.» I|told|her|never|what|that|happened "I never told her what happened."

«Hvorfor ikke?» why|not "Why not?"

«Jeg vet ikke,» sa jeg. I|know|not|said|I "I don't know," I said. «Sannsynligheten er stor for at jeg har en hjertefeil.» the probability|is|large|that|that|I|have|a|heart defect "The likelihood is high that I have a heart defect."

Hun så lenge på meg. she|looked|long|at|me She looked at me for a long time. Og jeg ante en skygge av et smil innerst inne i de brune, altfor melankolske øynene hennes. and|I|sensed|a|shadow|of|a|smile|deep|inside|in|the|brown|too|melancholic|eyes|her And I sensed a shadow of a smile deep within her brown, far too melancholic eyes.

«Hvorfor er du her?» why|are|you|here "Why are you here?"

«Fordi jeg ikke greier å glemme deg.» because|I|not|manage|to|forget|you "Because I can't forget you."

«Hvorfor er du her?» gjentok hun med en bestemthet jeg ikke hadde hørt før. why|are|you|here|repeated|she|with|a|determination|I|not|had|heard|before "Why are you here?" she repeated with a determination I had not heard before.

«Jeg synes bare vi skulle …,» begynte jeg, men ble avbrutt: I|think|just|we|should|started|I|but|was|interrupted "I just think we should ...," I started, but was interrupted:

«Hvorfor, Roger?» why|Roger "Why, Roger?"

Jeg sukket. I|sighed I sighed. «Jeg skylder henne ikke noe lenger. I|owe|her|not|anything|anymore "I don't owe her anything anymore." Hun har en elsker.» she|has|a|lover She has a lover."

En lang stillhet fulgte. a|long|silence|followed A long silence followed.

Hun stakk underleppen ørlite grann frem: «Har hun knust ditt hjerte?» she|stuck|lower lip|tiny|bit|forward|has|she|broken|your|heart She pushed her lower lip out just a little: "Has she broken your heart?"

Jeg nikket. I|nodded I nodded.

«Og nu vil du have at jeg skal sætte det sammen for dig igen?» and|now|will|you|have|that|I|shall|put|it|together|for|you| "And now you want me to put it together for you again?"

Jeg hadde ikke hørt denne fåmælte kvinnen formulere seg så lett og uanstrengt før. I|had|not|heard|this|taciturn|woman|formulate|herself|so|easily|and|effortlessly|before I had never heard this taciturn woman express herself so easily and effortlessly before.

«Det klarer du ikke, Lotte.» that|manage|you|not|Lotte "You can't do that, Lotte."

«Nei det gør jeg nok ikke. no|that|do|I|probably|not "No, I probably can't." Ved du hvem hennes elsker er?» at|you|who|her|lover|is "Do you know who her lover is?"

«Bare en fyr som har søkt en jobb hos oss som han ikke kommer til å få, for å si det sånn. just|a|guy|who|has|applied|a|job|at|us|that|he|not|will come|to|to|get|to|to|say|it|like that "Just a guy who applied for a job with us that he's not going to get, to put it that way." Kan vi snakke om noe annet?» can|we|talk|about|something|else "Can we talk about something else?"

«Bare snakke?» just|talk "Just talk?"

«Du bestemmer.» you|decide "You decide."

«Ja, jeg gør. yes|I|do "Yes, I do. Bare snakke. just|talk Just talk. Og det må du sørge for.» and|that|must|you|ensure|for And you have to make sure of that."

«Jepp. yep "Yep. Jeg tok med en flaske vin.» I|took|with|a|bottle|wine I brought a bottle of wine."},{

Hun ristet nesten umerkelig på hodet. she|shook|almost|imperceptibly|on|head Så snudde hun, og jeg fulgte etter. then|turned|she|and|I|followed|after

Jeg snakket oss gjennom vinflaska og sovnet på sofaen. I|talked|us|through|the wine bottle|and|fell asleep|on|the couch I talked us through the bottle of wine and fell asleep on the sofa. Da jeg våknet, lå jeg med hodet i fanget hennes mens hun strøk meg gjennom håret. when|I|woke up|lay|I|with|head|in|lap|her|while|she|stroked|me|through|hair When I woke up, I was lying with my head in her lap while she stroked my hair.

«Ved du, hva det første jeg lagde mærke til ved dig, var?» spurte hun da hun merket at jeg var våken igjen. at|you|what|it|first|I|made|notice|to|at|you|was|asked|she|when|she|noticed|that|I|was|awake|again "Do you know what the first thing I noticed about you was?" she asked when she noticed I was awake again.

«Håret,» sa jeg. the hair|said|I "The hair," I said.

«Har jeg sagt det før?» have|I|said|it|before "Have I said that before?"

«Nei,» sa jeg og så på klokka. no|said|I|and|saw|at|clock "No," I said and looked at the clock. Halv ti. half|ten Half past nine. Det var på tide å komme seg hjem. it|was|at|time|to|come|oneself|home It was time to get home. Nå ja, ruinene av et hjem. now|yes|the ruins|of|a|home Well, the ruins of a home. Jeg grudde meg. I|dreaded|myself I was apprehensive.

«Får jeg komme tilbake?» spurte jeg. may|I|come|back|asked|I "Can I come back?" I asked.

Jeg merket at hun nølte. I|noticed|that|she|hesitated I noticed that she hesitated.

«Jeg trenger deg,» sa jeg. I|need|you|said|I "I need you," I said.

Jeg visste at det ikke var et argument med særlig tyngde, at det var lånt fra en kvinne som foretrakk QPR fordi klubben fikk henne til å føle seg behøvd. I|knew|that|it|not|was|an|argument|with|particularly|weight|that|it|was|borrowed|from|a|woman|who|preferred|QPR|because|the club|made|her|to||feel|herself|needed I knew it wasn't a particularly strong argument, that it was borrowed from a woman who preferred QPR because the club made her feel needed. Men det var det eneste argumentet jeg hadde. but|it|was|the|only|argument|I|had But it was the only argument I had.