×

We use cookies to help make LingQ better. By visiting the site, you agree to our cookie policy.


image

George Carlin, George Carlin - Saving the Planet

George Carlin - Saving the Planet

You got people like this around you?

Countries full of them now: people walking around all day long, every minute of the day, worried... about everything! Worried about the air; worried about the water; worried about the soil; worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas; worried about asbestos; worried about saving endangered species. Let me tell you about endangered species all right? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature. It's arrogant meddling; it's what got us in trouble in the first place. Doesn't anybody understand that? Interfering with nature. Over 90% - over, WAY over – 90% of all the species that have ever lived on this planet, ever lived, are gone! Pwwt! They're extinct! We didn't kill them all, they just disappeared. That's what nature does. They disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day and I mean regardless of our behaviour. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today will be gone tomorrow. Let them go gracefully. Leave nature alone. Haven't we done enough?

We're so self-important.

So self-important. Everybody's going to save something now. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Save the planet, we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet?

I'm getting tired of that shit.

Tired of that shit. I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Besides, environmentalists don't give a shit about the planet. They don't care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don't. Not in the abstract they don't. You know what they're interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. They're worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet.

Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we're a threat? That somehow we're gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that's just a-floatin' around the sun? The planet has been through a lot worse than us.

Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? The planet...the planet...the planet isn't going anywhere. WE ARE!

We're going away.

Pack your shit, folks. We're going away.

And we won't leave much of a trace, either. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet'll be here and we'll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. A surface nuisance.

You wanna know how the planet's doing?

Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet's doing. You wanna know if the planet's all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does. It's a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it's true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. The earth doesn't share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn't know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now.

And I think that's begun. Don't you think that's already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Let's see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction.

Well, that's a poetic note.

And it's a start. And I can dream, can't I? See I don't worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn't punish, it doesn't reward, it doesn't judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while


George Carlin - Saving the Planet George Carlin - Salvar el planeta George Carlin - Salvando o Planeta Джордж Карлин - Спасение планеты George Carlin - Gezegeni Kurtarmak Джордж Карлін - Врятувати планету 乔治·卡林 - 拯救地球

You got people like this around you? У вас есть такие люди вокруг вас? Навколо вас є такі люди?

Countries full of them now: people walking around all day long, every minute of the day, worried... about everything! Worried about the air; worried about the water; worried about the soil; worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas; worried about asbestos; worried about saving endangered species. Worried about the air; worried about the water; worried about the soil; worried about insecticides, pesticides, food additives, carcinogens; worried about radon gas; worried about asbestos; worried about saving endangered species. беспокоит воздух; беспокоит вода; беспокоит почва; беспокоит инсектициды, пестициды, пищевые добавки, канцерогены; беспокоит газ радон; беспокоит асбест; беспокоится о спасении исчезающих видов. Let me tell you about endangered species all right? Позвольте мне рассказать вам об исчезающих видах, хорошо? Saving endangered species is just one more arrogant attempt by humans to control nature. Спасение вымирающих видов — это еще одна самонадеянная попытка человека контролировать природу. Збереження зникаючих видів – це ще одна нахабна спроба людини контролювати природу. It’s arrogant meddling; it’s what got us in trouble in the first place. Это высокомерное вмешательство; это то, что доставило нам неприятности в первую очередь. Це зарозуміле втручання; це те, що в першу чергу привело нас у біду. Doesn’t anybody understand that? Interfering with nature. Ingrijpen in de natuur. Вмешательство в природу. Over 90% - over, WAY over – 90% of all the species that have ever lived on this planet, ever lived, are gone! Более 90% - закончилось, НАМНОГО больше - 90% всех видов, которые когда-либо жили на этой планете, исчезли! Pwwt! Pwwt! They’re extinct! لقد انقرضوا! We didn’t kill them all, they just disappeared. لم نقتلهم جميعًا ، لقد اختفوا فقط. That’s what nature does. Вот что делает природа. They disappear these days at the rate of 25 a day and I mean regardless of our behaviour. В наши дни они исчезают со скоростью 25 штук в день, независимо от нашего поведения. У ці дні вони зникають зі швидкістю 25 на день, і я маю на увазі незалежно від нашої поведінки. Irrespective of how we act on this planet, 25 species that were here today will be gone tomorrow. Независимо от того, как мы действуем на этой планете, 25 видов, которые были здесь сегодня, завтра исчезнут. Let them go gracefully. دعهم يذهبون برشاقة. Пусть идут изящно. Leave nature alone. Haven’t we done enough? Разве мы недостаточно сделали?

We’re so self-important. Мы такие важные.

So self-important. Everybody’s going to save something now. Теперь все что-нибудь спасут. "Save the trees, save the bees, save the whales, save those snails." «Спасите деревья, спасите пчел, спасите китов, спасите этих улиток». And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. І найбільша зухвалість з усіх: врятувати планету. What? Are these fucking people kidding me? Ці чортові люди жартують зі мною? Save the planet, we don’t even know how to take care of ourselves yet. Спасите планету, мы еще не знаем, как позаботиться о себе. We haven’t learned how to care for one another, we’re gonna save the fucking planet? Мы не научились заботиться друг о друге, мы собираемся спасти гребаную планету?

I’m getting tired of that shit.

Tired of that shit. I’m tired of fucking Earth Day, I’m tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren’t enough bicycle paths. Я устал от гребаного Дня Земли, я устал от этих самодовольных защитников окружающей среды, этих белых буржуазных либералов, которые думают, что единственное, что плохо в этой стране, это нехватка велосипедных дорожек. Я втомився від довбаного Дня Землі, я втомився від цих самовпевнених екологів, цих білих, буржуазних лібералів, які думають, що єдине, що не так у цій країні, це відсутність достатньої кількості велосипедних доріжок. People trying to make the world save for their Volvos. Люди, пытающиеся спасти мир для своих Volvo. Besides, environmentalists don’t give a shit about the planet. They don’t care about the planet. Not in the abstract they don’t. Not in the abstract they don’t. You know what they’re interested in? A clean place to live. Their own habitat. Hun eigen leefgebied. Власне середовище існування. They’re worried that some day in the future, they might be personally inconvenienced. Ze zijn bang dat ze op een dag in de toekomst persoonlijk ongemak kunnen ondervinden. Вони хвилюються, що колись у майбутньому вони можуть особисто зазнати незручностей. Narrow, unenlightened self-interest doesn’t impress me. Вузький, неосвічений егоїзм не імпонує мені.

Besides, there is nothing wrong with the planet.

Nothing wrong with the planet. The planet is fine. The PEOPLE are fucked. De MENSEN zijn geneukt. Difference. Difference. The planet is fine. Compared to the people, the planet is doing great. Been here four and a half billion years. Did you ever think about the arithmetic? The planet has been here four and a half billion years. We’ve been here, what, a hundred thousand? Maybe two hundred thousand? And we’ve only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over two hundred years. Two hundred years versus four and a half billion. And we have the CONCEIT to think that somehow we’re a threat? І ми маємо самовпевненість думати, що ми якось загроза? That somehow we’re gonna put in jeopardy this beautiful little blue-green ball that’s just a-floatin' around the sun? Що якимось чином ми поставимо під загрозу цю красиву маленьку синьо-зелену кульку, яка просто ширяє навколо сонця? The planet has been through a lot worse than us.

Been through all kinds of things worse than us. Been through earthquakes, volcanoes, plate tectonics, continental drift, solar flares, sun spots, magnetic storms, the magnetic reversal of the poles...hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors, worldwide floods, tidal waves, worldwide fires, erosion, cosmic rays, recurring ice ages...And we think some plastic bags, and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference? Пережили землетруси, вулкани, тектоніку плит, дрейф континентів, сонячні спалахи, сонячні плями, магнітні бурі, зміну магнітних полюсів... сотні тисяч років бомбардування кометами, астероїдами та метеорами, всесвітні повені, припливні хвилі, світові пожежі, ерозія, космічні промені, повторювані льодовикові періоди... І ми думаємо, що пластикові пакети та алюмінієві банки змінять ситуацію? The planet...the planet...the planet isn’t going anywhere. WE ARE!

We’re going away.

Pack your shit, folks. We’re going away.

And we won’t leave much of a trace, either. ولن نترك الكثير من الأثر أيضًا. Thank God for that. Maybe a little styrofoam. شاید کمی پلی فوم باشد. Можливо трохи пінополістиролу. Maybe. A little styrofoam. The planet’ll be here and we’ll be long gone. Just another failed mutation. Just another closed-end biological mistake. An evolutionary cul-de-sac. Een evolutionaire doodlopende weg. Еволюційний тупик. The planet’ll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. Планета відштовхне нас, як бліх. A surface nuisance. Поверхнева неприємність.

You wanna know how the planet’s doing?

Ask those people at Pompeii, who are frozen into position from volcanic ash, how the planet’s doing. You wanna know if the planet’s all right, ask those people in Mexico City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake rubble, if they feel like a threat to the planet this week. Ви хочете знати, чи з планетою все гаразд, запитайте тих людей у Мехіко, Вірменії чи сотні інших місць, похованих під тисячами тонн уламків землетрусу, чи відчувають вони цього тижня загрозу для планети. Or how about those people in Kilowaia, Hawaii, who built their homes right next to an active volcano, and then wonder why they have lava in the living room.

The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we’re gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that’s what it does. It’s a self-correcting system. The air and the water will recover, the earth will be renewed, and if it’s true that plastic is not degradable, well, the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm: the earth plus plastic. Повітря та вода відновляться, земля оновиться, і якщо це правда, що пластик не розкладається, то планета просто включить пластик у нову парадигму: земля плюс пластик. The earth doesn’t share our prejudice towards plastic. Plastic came out of the earth. The earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children. Could be the only reason the earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place. It wanted plastic for itself. Didn’t know how to make it. Needed us. Could be the answer to our age-old egocentric philosophical question, "Why are we here?" Plastic...asshole.

So, the plastic is here, our job is done, we can be phased out now. Dus het plastic is hier, ons werk is gedaan, we kunnen nu worden uitgefaseerd.

And I think that’s begun. و من فکر می کنم این شروع شده است. Don’t you think that’s already started? I think, to be fair, the planet sees us as a mild threat. Something to be dealt with. And the planet can defend itself in an organized, collective way, the way a beehive or an ant colony can. A collective defense mechanism. The planet will think of something. What would you do if you were the planet? How would you defend yourself against this troublesome, pesky species? Як би ви захистилися від цього неприємного, настирливого виду? Let’s see... Viruses. Viruses might be good. They seem vulnerable to viruses. And, uh...viruses are tricky, always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed. Perhaps, this first virus could be one that compromises the immune system of these creatures. Можливо, цей перший вірус може бути тим, що скомпрометує імунну систему цих істот. Perhaps a human immunodeficiency virus, making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along. And maybe it could be spread sexually, making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction. І, можливо, це може передаватися статевим шляхом, що змушує їх дещо неохоче брати участь у акті розмноження.

Well, that’s a poetic note.

And it’s a start. And I can dream, can’t I? See I don’t worry about the little things: bees, trees, whales, snails. I think we’re part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand. A higher order. Call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. The Big Electron...whoooa. Whoooa. Whoooa. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. And so are we. For a little while