English LingQ 2.0 Podcast #9: Wellness, Self Care and Going Sober in 2021 II
Shelby: Yeah, we, um, my, we had some friends staying with us here and they were drinking like a nice bottle of red wine and talking about how good it was. And I'm like hanging out, like I'm not gonna be able to taste it. And then. I asked if I could take a sip and spit it out and... cause I just wanted to taste it.
Uh, at first my roommate said, no, cause it's too expensive, but you know, that's how you really taste wine, right? Like if you were actually going to a wine tasting.
Elle: Yeah. True. They didn't let you? So you didn't do it?
Shelby: Um, this also reminds me that something that, um, can help, like has helped me. And I don't know, it sounds like you're maybe kind of doing something like this is to have like another drink that you can have in place of the um, alcoholic beverage, like some, I really like sparkling wines, like Prosecco and stuff. So, um, I'm really into like sparkling water that I can, and I can add fun stuff into it, like squeeze an orange into it or add some mint to it. Or I made this, um, this like lavender extract last year, um, which is really nice, like put in some sparkling water too.
So something fun like that, that you can like actively enjoy while other people are drinking and I have found to be helpful.
Elle: And put it in a wine glass, just a fancy, fancy glass always helps I find that as well.
Shelby: Totally. What is the, what's the fake beer you're drinking?
Elle: It's just, um, a Canadian supermarket brand, um, blonde beer.
I I've tried a bunch of different ones. Like Budweiser has one. Um, I can't remember the popular beer brands that have, Oh, Heineken has a fake, not a fake beer. I guess it's dealcoholized beer. It Is beer, but just no alcohol in it. Taken out afterwards? I don't know how it works.
Elle: But yeah, this is just a, um, Canadian like supermarket brand and it is good.
I think it tastes great. So...
Elle: I drank that. And some, I also drink kombucha, which I've always loved and used to make until it exploded in my kitchen. And I, I don't make it anymore.
Elle: It's dangerous making kombucha.
Shelby: Did it really explode?
Elle: Yeah, it's um, It ferments in a bottle and you need to put a lid on the bottle. So the tea, I don't know how, um, if you know much about it, there's like a SCOBY, which is like a bacteria, yeast, bacteria chunk.
It's kind of gross looking and you put a sugary tea in to a glass bottle with the SCOBY and the SCOBY eats the sugar and, um, ferments. Um, the drink is quite vinegary and, um, yeah, it's effervescent. So yeah. It's if you leave it in too long, it can explode and yeah, that happened to me. And there was, I put blueberries in it so that it looked like I'd murdered someone in my kitchen.
It was just red splatters all over the ceiling.
Shelby: Were you, were you in there when that happened?
Elle: Yes. Yeah, because I actually, it didn't just explode out of nowhere. I was in the process of opening it to, to try it and see if it was done. And it, I I'd left it in a bit long. So it was, it's one of those like Ikea glass bottles with the, like a champagne bottle, you know, with the pop, the little plastic pop off.
And it just, yeah, I gave it a little touch and it just exploded everywhere.
Shelby: Oh my gosh.
Elle: It was kind of fun. I screamed and the neighbors must have thought. Someone had been shot.
Shelby: So not just another day at Elle's house?
No, but, uh, it was delicious. What was left was delicious. So...
Shelby: Great. That's a silver lining.
Elle: Yeah, right?. Um, how were you finding exercise? Like how are you finding the motivation to exercise? Because that's something I'm finding really difficult right now? And I don't know if it's just generally or COVID/work from home/world is crazy. I don't know.
Shelby: Well, and let's not forget that, that you're a mom. You've got a little kid that you're also taking care of while working from home.
And, um, I I'm sure you get a lot of exercise just like chasing him around.
Elle: Yes, that is true. That's very true.
Shelby: I have the luxury of not having any dependents right now. So, um, there's also just that. Um, but it's, it's also like incremental. Um, so I started, um, getting back into exercising from home at some point last year.
Um, and I've been aiming to do three times a week for like a year and a half, but I was barely even doing twice a week at the beginning of last year. Um, so I started with one, like at the beginning of last year. And I said, I just need to like, stick to that since like going from zero to three is hard, you know?
And if you try to do that and you fail, then every week you're just failing. So I said, let me go from zero to one and like, get that down. And so that's what I would do. And then I finally felt pretty comfortable with that. So I said, okay, like, I kinda know how long this takes. I'm going to add in another one.
And I did that for several months, um, from around the halfway point of last year until, um, the beginning of this year. And then I said, okay, like, I need to just add one more day in. And that's all you're doing every time. It's just adding one more day in. Um, I like working out from home. I've always liked working out from home and I know a lot of people prefer the gym.
So that's a, I guess, an advantage I have that I just prefer to do it at home. Um, but it's also fast. Like I don't spend an hour and a half working out. I... if I'm like really focused, I can get through it all in probably about 35 minutes. Um, so it's not a huge time commitment either. And I find, um, now that I'm becoming aware of how I connect, like my feelings to,
uh, I like, I, I guess I've just become more aware of the fact that, um, I'm a really anxious person and the anxiety lives a lot, like in my head. And so I've just started to correlate a remedy, um, of, of anxiety with doing something physical. So maybe it's not going to be working out every time. Maybe it is going on a walk or doing yoga.
So like lower intensity stuff. Um, But sometimes I'm like, so, I'm like feeling so like hyperactive about my anxiety that, um, I'm like, well, let me just like channel this energy into something good. And I start like doing some squats and some curls. And you find that like, you're kind of getting that energy out, you know?
Elle: Yeah. Hundred percent. Yeah.
I agree with that. Totally. Yeah.
Working like, like you said, like out the head working out of the head, through the body. I definitely, when I'm anxious, um, find that, yeah, I'll go... I even say to my husband, like had a lot of anxious energy, so I did X, um, it's usually like something around the house, um, because yeah, w why not instead of, um, and nothing wrong with, you know, sometimes I will just lay down and just kind of try and figure things out, but I find the most helpful thing is actually to get up and do something to
move move through it instead of letting it sit in you and just.Make you annoyed and upset.
Elle: So, yeah. Yeah.
Shelby: And we're so...
Elle: Especially now there's lots to be anxious.
And we've become so sedentary. I mean, like we used to just like walk more in our regular lives because like you walk from your front door to the car and into the office, et cetera.
So like you, I found, I really have to kind of manufacturer those experiences. Whereas before I was just moving more and as you said, like you move into it and the movement and activity, um, helps you just get out of your own head.
Elle: Yeah. So you, um, so your plan then is to, because I saw that you have like a spreadsheet you're super organized. I love that. Your plan is to hit, like not break the chain, hit your weekly goal throughout 2021 and then maybe beyond, is that, is that the, the idea?
Shelby: Yeah, I think we'll see how, um, how it goes this year.
And, um, when it comes to, like, most of the habits are just related to like daily, um, health and nutrition stuff, and like the no... not drinking piece, I decided to just like be sober for a year, but who knows? Like maybe after this year, I'm going to say, I like how I feel and I don't want to reintegrate that into my life.
More, more than likely. I'm probably going to, like, significantly cut back on my drinking and, you know, um, yeah, cause again, like I'm going to be a lot healthier if I only drink once a month, you know, than like every week or every day. And that doesn't mean that I failed myself necessarily. Um, like if there's an opportunity to drink and I want to, then I will.
But yeah, the goal with all of them is to not break the chain, but I already like missed two days of yoga this year. I entered that in my sheet, but I just keep moving and like I'm fully prepared to miss some days on some of these things. And, you know, I, I'm just trying to like store that information now and not judge it, like just say, okay, like that happened.
How did I feel as a result? Not like, did I get down on myself? But more so just how did I feel physically in my mood and spirit. Um, since I really just like data collection at this point, you could say.
Elle: Yeah, but that's useful though.
And what about you? You're just trying to, um, not drink forever, right?
Elle: Maybe. I had a... yeah, I, I was drinking way too much and it wasn't serving me anymore for sure. So I think, uh, I wasn't, um, I wasn't, uh, you know a degenerate, alcoholic, you know, out like sleeping on the streets or whatever, but I definitely got to a point where, um, I wasn't, I would say, you know, Oh, tonight I'm just going to have one drink and then I would have more, you know, tonight, Oh, maybe I shouldn't drink three out of seven nights a week, but then I would drink every night anyway.
So it got to the point where I wasn't able to keep promises to myself, which is always a red flag. Um, and so I don't know how I will know if I'm ready to drink what I would call responsibly again. Um, I don't know if, uh, you know, after a year or two years, I'll I'll think, okay, well I can start enjoying a glass of wine every now and then again, and I won't fall back into that pattern that I really didn't like.
So the goal I think, is to just maybe be sober for the rest of my life. We'll see. Yeah, we'll see. I mean, as well, I'm not gonna put too much pressure on myself because the rest of my life is the rest of my life. So, you know, maybe I don't drink for a year and then I drink for a bit, and then I don't drink for two years, or I'm back
and I'm able to just have a couple of glasses of wine each week, but so far I'm liking the way I feel and I love the money saving. Wow. That just goes to show how much I was drinking that it's like all this extra cash.
Shelby: It's easy to spend the money on it. Also in the calories too. I mean, I know you commented, you're losing some weight, like we'd forget, um, how much of our calories are attributed to drinking.
So there are other, there are other benefits. But yeah, once you know, like, You know, I don't know. Let's say like you are sober for this year. Um, once, you know you can do that. I find that that's also really helpful too, because like you said, you know, you could get back into it, but then you could say, well, I can just also not do it for this next year if I want to, because you've already done that before.
So that's not so scary. Like the fear of the unknown.
Elle: That's true.
That's very true.
And the fear of, yeah. Can I, you know, do I have a big problem? Like, can I actually not drink for however long. And if, if, if I can, so far it's been almost three months and it's like, okay.
Elle: It makes me feel bad to too about my, myself.
Shelby: And especially while you're around it too. I mean, that's a, that's a great feat. Um, I think most people think they would never be able to do that. Um, especially in this pandemic where everyone is probably drinking way more than they ever have. So I commend you for, for going forth and tackling that goal.
Elle: Thank you. Thank you. Well, let's, um, let's keep in touch about these goals. We will anyway for work. So we kind of pepper in how it's going. Yeah.
Um, with the no boozing and for you, the exercise, I'll try and exercise. Maybe you can, maybe let me know when after each week what you've done, the yoga and the workouts, and they'll be like, okay, I can do one.
I like your idea of do one. Once a week for however many weeks, months, then another one. That's a good idea.
Shelby: I mean, just see how you feel. And even if you don't want to commit to like once a week, you could just say, I'm just going to do it once and like see how it feels. And then, um, I try to like pay attention to the positive physical benefits so I can try to make like a positive association in my mind. And it took some time, but we got there.
So I know. I know you could do that too. Um, but yeah, don't, we all put too much pressure on ourselves, so just start with one.
Elle: That's true.
Shelby: And I'll definitely keep in touch about it.
Elle: Excellent. Okay. Well, thank you so much, Shelby. This was interesting as always, um, good luck with your goals and yeah, we'll keep in touch and maybe chat again.
Uh, within 2021. See how, how it's going if we're still we're still there.
Elle: That might be interesting.
Shelby: Definitely. I know..
Elle: Like a six month...
You just gave
Shelby: me an ide,a like, Oh gosh, now I'm on the hook for this. So yeah, we will, we can do a progress update and um, yeah, I'm, it's always a pleasure to chat with you.
Elle: Great. Okay. Well, I will speak to you soon. Shelby.
Shelby: Sounds good. See you later Elle.