Episode 01 - part 01
You ready for next week?
What's next week? Superhuman evasion training.
We have to get recertified.
Look, I... I get the need,
but it's the worst. When I was on the force,
you had to do hand-to-hand training all the time.
The guy comes at you with a knife,
you gotta be ready,
but, uh, this is... th-this is something else.
I'm supposed to learn to tuck and roll away from a guy
who can shoot lasers from his eyes,
or control minds,
or kick a goddamn schoolbus to the moon?
It's the job. You're awful calm about it. Hell, last time you sprained your back.
Aw, shit, wait,
you're not even gonna be here, are you? Sucks to be you!
I'll be living it up in London, seeing the sights, eating Indian food.
Enjoy getting laser burn.
Oh, you're gonna be gone the whole time? All friggin' week? Two.
All of Matt's spring break. The boy is obsessed with The Beatles.
He wants to go to Abbey Road,
he wants to visit Apple Records.
I might even get to see some things I want to see,
if we have time.
And it's just the two of you? You sure about that, Steve?
I thought you two hated each other
with the burning fury of a thousand suns.
Well, maybe a hundred.
I mean, Matt, he had it rough, you know,
but he's really pulled himself together. With what you told me that kid was doing?
The stealing, the drugs?
How'd you turn that around? Good morning.
It wasn't easy. The thing is,
when Molly and I first got together,
he was living with his dad,
and he was just running wild.
Kid was a real asshole.
You saw the shiner he gave me.
That's all behind us now. He stared down his demons, and he...
damn it, he conquered them.
I've never done anything that hard in my life. We're so damn proud of the guy... of the man that he's becoming. So he wants to go to London,
Molly and I scraped together enough to make it happen.
We wanted to show him
how much we appreciate all his hard work.
I never had a kid of my own.
I wasn't there when he was born. I didn't teach him how to ride a bike, or throw a ball...
...but in a few months,
when he walks across that stage,
and accepts that diploma...
...that is my son.
Oh, you... you just take all the time you need.
Why don't I just make some hot cocoa to cheer up my sweet boy?
Come on, like you're not crying on my shoulder every time you don't get a second date? What was...
We were supposed to be inside.
I should never have trusted
the flawed calculations of a clone.
I am not!
This was always the plan.
The president is targeting us,
so we shatter the illusion of his safety.
It's not enough for us to kill him. It has to be a spectacle.
You'd know this if you were truly the original. Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god...
Kind of tickles.
Mm, I prefer a higher caliber.
I order you...
You order what?
Kill that one and move on!
Your eye is as replaceable as you are.
I am the original!
Steve, look out!
Sorry I'm late! Red Rush, get this guy out of here!
Focus on evac!
We can deal with these two once the area is clear!
We can take it from here!
Fall back, help us evacuate civilians!
Yes, ma'am! Damn it! Run!
Please, you couldn't just sit this one out? Let us kill the President?
Haven't you earned a day off? Not our style.
This isn't a spectator sport! Move!
Stay together, stay together, stay together, stay together!
Don't move. You're safe now. I got 'em! They're in the clear. - You are on President duty. - On it.
Sorry, I wouldn't normally move so fast, but there were so many of you that...
It starts with one of you, then it...
I can't... Huh?
While he's distracted! This floor looks clear.
I'll go up, you go down. I've got you. We're gonna be fine. We'll get out of this. No, no, what about you?
You're welcome. Get those soldiers out of here!
We can take it from here.
Too dangerous for you.
When we crush the Guardians of the Globe
and kill the president,
no one will be left to stop us!
Take my hand!
I had him.
Ah. All clear.
The building is clear.
It's just us. Evacuation complete.
Now we can cut loose
and focus on taking these brutes down.
I'll be out in a minute! I don't have a minute. Mom!
My bathroom's out of soap. Get over yourself.
I used to change your diapers, kid.
There's nothing going on down there I haven't seen before. Just get out!
As you can see,
the scene is absolute chaos as the Mauler twins...
Looks like Dad's saving the White House. Alone?
Guardians are there, too.
Who are they fighting?
Ugh, Mauler Twins.
Looks like we won't be getting breakfast together this morning.
It's the White House, Mom. Kind of important.
Oh, they rebuild that thing twice a year at this point.
If it's not Doc Seismic, it's the Lizard League, or someone else. I doubt the President still lives there.
I'm not too late! I'm gonna shower. Not so fast.
Come here first.
Don't make me get the spray bottle. Now, let's get you out of that costume. Boundaries, people!
Bathroom doors are closed for a reason,
and parents should never, ever talk about sex
in front of their kids!
You should be overjoyed to see your parents
passionately expressing their love for each other.
Now stop griping.
Get ready for school.
Couldn't you at least wait until I leave the house... for college!
What were you thinking?
Actually, I was kind of pulling
for that little cafe in Berlin.
I've been jonesing for those sausages. Aw, man, you guys are going to Best Wurst?
I love that place!
You've got school. When your powers kick in, you can go on your own.
Salt on the wound, Dad.
They've gotta be due any day now, son. Even the latest bloomers on Viltrum
would get their powers
before what would be their 18th birthday.
You'll see. Don't get his hopes up.