My wife with plants
- Oh my gosh, it's spring.
You know what that means.
I need to go get some new plants.
Babe, there is new life all around us.
I just wanna bring some of that new life into our home.
Listen, it is your goldfish.
You need to feed him or I'm gonna flush him.
That's it, I'm gonna flush him.
Okay babe, I'm headed to the nursery
to get a few plants.
No, I'm not gonna go overboard.
I'm just gonna get a few plants.
Okay, Mommy's new babies.
Oh, that's a good one.
Babe, a little help?
Oh yeah, that's nice.
Oh, that's nice.
That's nice, that is nice.
Oh yeah, this really changes the ambiance.
Needs more.
Oh my gosh, I am such a plant mom.
I'm gonna need to make another trip.
Babe, look at these ones.
Yeah, they're dieffenbachia.
I got two of them so they each have a friend,
also in case one dies.
Okay, now this one's an annual,
so that means it's gonna come back every year, annually,
sort of like my sex drive.
What do you think, Charlie?
Do you like my plants?
Ope, he does.
Oh, yeah, see, this is a flowering pericallis.
They attract bees.
Those busy little bees are so important to our ecosystem.
I'm sorry, I just love bees.
Ah, freaking bees.
Kaitlyn, I got stung.
Ow, ah, they're everywhere, ah.
Now what the heck is partial shade?
We live in Colorado, the sun is everywhere.
Here you are, my friend, partial shade.
Babe, flowers are pretty and all,
but I wanna be an urban farmer.
It's gonna be my summer project.
Babe, can you build me a raised garden bed?
Babe, can you put drip irrigation into my raised bed.
Babe, babe, babe, can you carry all this soil
to my raised beds?
On second thought, could you build me a greenhouse?
To hell with those bees.
Ugh, I'm going in the house.
We are not gonna need to buy any more fruits and vegetables.
I'm gonna grow all of it.
Fully organic, no GMOs, super healthy.
Mm, oh, that is good.
We're gonna save so much money by growing our own food.
Oh, how much did this cost?
Oh, I'm about $1,200 deep, but you know,
that's startup cost.
Everything from here on out is free.
Free, free, free.
No babe, I'm not trimming the plants, I'm propagating.
You cut a little piece off, you put it in the water,
and boom, you've got a baby plant.
Can you imagine if it was that easy for us to have babies?
Oh no, sorry, I wasn't flirting,
I definitely have a headache.
Guys, guys, guys, come here, come here, come here.
It's our first harvest.
Ha, this is bull.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, my plants are dying.
Terry, I bet you need more sun.
Oh no, Sonia, I bet you need more water.
Ah shoot, maybe it needs less sun.
Oh no, maybe too much water.
Honestly, I went on vacation
and I just totally forgot about this one.
This one's on me.
Oh no, my garden.
Hail? That's a thing?
I'm very upset right now, but it's gonna be fine.
I applied for crop insurance.
Babe, I'd like to introduce you to Susan.
She's a snake plant, and she's impossible to kill.
Babe, Susan's dead.
I killed a snake plant.
Snake plants aren't supposed to die.
Susan, Susan.
I gave up on plants.
I just got one plant now, her name is Francesca,
and she has the same personality as me.
She's low maintenance, she's beautiful,
but don't touch her, she has a headache.
(upbeat music)
- [Narrator] The Dude Dad, Dude Dad, Dude.
- It just goes to show you how fragile life is.
I'm not gonna cry, I'm gonna garden.
(character crying)
