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Zen Habits, The Most Important Skill to Master

The Most Important Skill to Master

Post written by Leo Babauta.

If you're like me, you are constantly learning new skills — gardening, carpentry, pizza-making, languages, sports, and so on.

And I think this is a fun and wonderful thing to do. But what's the most important skill?

That's debatable.

I think compassion is a huge one, as is mindfulness. I'd go with those two any day of the week. But if I had to pick just one, it would be this: learning to be happy with yourself.

That seems too simple, too trite!

Too mushy and New-Agey! And I'll grant all of that, but I stand firmly by my pick. Why?

The answer has to do with how this one thing can affect everything else in your life. If you are not happy with yourself, or your body, you become insecure. You think you're not good enough. You fear being abandoned and alone. You do lots of other things to compensate, and these lead to problems. So many of the problems people have stem from this one thing — being unhappy with themselves (often in the form of being unhappy with their bodies).

Let's take a look at why, and then look at some ideas of how to master the skill. Why It Affects Everything

Let's say you're unhappy with your body.

You think you are too fat, or too skinny, or your butt is too small (or too big). Or your boobs are too small, or your pecs aren't big enough. Your stomach is flabby, or loose, or covered in stretch marks. Your thighs are too thick. Your hips are too wide, or too narrow. The list goes on and on. We'll get into why we're unhappy in a minute, but for now, just imagine the unlikely scenario that you're unhappy with your body.

What does that do to you? Well, you might be envious of other people (who, you know, are also unhappy with their bodies). You might be worried that you're not attractive enough to meet someone, and therefore sabotage your chances for a relationship. If you're in a relationship, you might think your boyfriend/girlfriend will leave you for someone more attractive. You might then act jealously, and do things out of this jealousy that actually leads to your partner being unhappy, and possibly eventually leaving you. If you're unhappy with your body, you might not want to look at it.

You might obsessively undereat, and then binge eat, and then feel worse about yourself. You might avoid exercise because you don't want to even think about the problem. You might eat junk food to comfort your bad feelings, and then make the health problems worse. You might have anxiety about all of this, about your body, your health, your girlfriend leaving you.

Then you eat more to assuage the anxiety, and it gets worse. Or you shop to make yourself feel better, and you get deeply in debt and your life fills with clutter. Or you drink alcohol or numb yourself with drugs or television so you don't have to think about all this. At work, you're unhappy because you aren't confident about yourself or your body, so you don't do the things that require confidence and that would further your career.

You might not leave your work to find work you're more passionate about, because you don't think you're good enough. Even at the work you're in, you do what you can to not think about the unhappiness you have, so you procrastinate with social networks, games, and other diversions. There's much more that's possible, but you get the idea.

Not everyone has all of these symptoms, but they're possible for anyone. Many of our problems stems from this one problem, and fixing it can change everything. That's why, if you have a finite amount of time to learn (and we all do), investing that time into learning this one skill can pay off in innumerable ways.

It's the most important skill you can master. Why We're Like This

If this is so bad, why are we like this?

How did it get this way? Well, there's no one answer. It's a building up of lots of reasons, including: Mass media .

We see beautiful celebrities with perfect faces, stomachs, thighs, abs, chests and asses all over the place — on the Internet, on TV and movies, in magazines. Everywhere. They're celebrated as the pinnacle of our society, and we all want to be them in some way. They're not real, of course — they're Photoshopped, make-upped, did upped in so many ways that what we see is an illusion. We're comparing ourselves to an illusion. But even if they were, why would we need to be like them? Why can't we be like ourselves, and let that be the ideal? Comments from others . Friends, family members, co-workers, even spouses might make a seemingly innocent comment about our butt or boobs that makes us feel bad about ourselves. These comments are small but hit our self-esteem very hard. They're not really about us, though, even if we almost always take them to heart. They're about the other person, who is having a bad day, or jealous of you, or projecting their own insecurities on you, or comparing you to the mass media celebrities they idolize for no good reason. See these comments for what they are, and don't take them to heart. Childhood incidents . In childhood, perhaps our parents made some comments about us that made us feel bad. Perhaps our parents got a divorce, or our dad was never around — if dad left mom, maybe that meant she wasn't good enough for him, and by extension maybe I'm not good enough for someone else? If dad left, maybe it's because I wasn't good enough for him? This might sound like psychological mumbo-jumbo, but it's real. I've experienced it, and so have countless others. It doesn't mean we have to let it rule our lives, but we should be aware that it's there, and learn to deal with it. Failures . Perhaps we've made some mistakes and failed at some things we tried to do. Honestly, everyone does, but when we do it, we take it to heart. It makes us feel bad about ourselves — we're not disciplined, we're not good enough. This leads to further failures, further hurting our self-image. Health problems . While having thick thighs or a bit of flab on the tummy is nothing to feel bad about — love how you look! — a completely separate problem from how we feel about our bodies is the health of our bodies. We tend to mix them together — being fat makes us feel bad about ourselves, for example — but really they can be separated. We can feel good about our bodies but realize that being overweight can lead to heart disease and diabetes down the road, so it only makes sense to lose some weight. Not because we want to look like a celebrity and feel better about ourselves, but because we want to be healthy. Being healthy, by the way, can help your self-image, and even though I said they can be separated, this is one positive benefit from conflating the two that you should accept happily. Spiral of negative thoughts . One bad thought leads to another, and then another, until we have a bundle of bad thoughts that become our self-image. This negative self-image can affect everything we do. But this self-image and these bad thoughts are not us — they are things that happen within us, but we don't have to let them become us. We can cope with them, and turn them into positive thoughts, into gratitude, into happiness. These are just a few reasons.

In fact, so many things affect our self-image that it's impossible to list them all, but it's good to start to be aware of them, so we can cope with them. How to Master the Skill

Let's say you've accepted my premise that learning to be happy with yourself (let's call it “love thyself”) is the most important skill to master … how do you get started?

The simple answer is practice.

The complicated answer is that it takes awhile, because our self-image wasn't formed overnight and it won't be changed overnight. That's OK. Just focus on this moment, and you'll learn as you go. I can't give you a complete guide to learning to love thyself, as that would take a book, and I'm still learning myself, but here are some tips for starting out:

Become aware of your mental movie .

You have a movie (perhaps a series of them) that you play inside your head about yourself. Usually we aren't aware of this, but it happens, throughout the day. The movie is about who we are: you have a flabby stomach, you are fat, you are too skinny, you aren't disciplined, you aren't lovable, your braces look weird, you aren't good at anything. Start to pay attention when this movie plays — it affects everything you do. Realize that this movie isn't you — it's just playing in your head. Realize that it isn't true, and isn't based on reality. Realize that it can be changed. Start to make a new movie . This new movie will replace that play-out old one that keeps running in your theater. It will be a Michael Bay production, with a gorgeous lead actor (hey, that's you! ), great visual effects, lots of excitement … except with more character development and a lot smaller budget. Let's base this movie on reality, not fears from childhood or illusions of celebrities or comments from others. Instead, it should be based on the fact that you are a good person, wonderful even, who is loving, kind, beautiful, passionate. This might not be what you think about yourself, but let's make the movie like this anyway. Ask other people why you're lovable (people who are likely to give a kind answer). Use these images in your new movie. When negative images start coming up (my boobs are too small! ), cut them out and tell them they have no place in your production. Put better images in. Consciously play the new movie . Learn to recognize the flicker of the old movie starting, and shut it off. Put the new movie in the projector instead, and play it. Practice this like it's your new religion. You will get better with constant practice. Put up reminders all around you so you don't forget. Learn mental judo . There will be things coming in all around you that will try to attack your new movie. Comments from friends, celebrities, things you see on Facebook. When they are hurtling towards you, learn to lean to one side and let them whiz by. Give them a small shove, with a thought like, “That comment is not about me, it's about you.” (And then go give your friend a hug — she's probably having a bad day.) Or a thought like, “That celebrity probably is also worried about her body — having big boobs or a flat stomach doesn't solve that problem.” Give the celebrity a mental hug, then play your new movie. You are already perfect — you just need to realize it.

You don't need anything to solve this problem — you already have it. You just need to practice, like it's the most important thing in your life, because in many ways, it is. ‘You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

' ~Buddha ---

If you like this lesson, check out for more in this course.


The Most Important Skill to Master La habilidad más importante de dominar

Post written by Leo Babauta. Publicación escrita por Leo Babauta.

If you’re like me, you are constantly learning new skills — gardening, carpentry, pizza-making, languages, sports, and so on. Si eres como yo, estás constantemente aprendiendo nuevas habilidades: jardinería, carpintería, hacer pizza, idiomas, deportes y muchas cosas más.

And I think this is a fun and wonderful thing to do. Y creo que esto es algo divertido y maravilloso de hacer. But what’s the most important skill? Pero, ¿cuál es la habilidad más importante?

That’s debatable. Eso es discutible. To dyskusyjne.

I think compassion is a huge one, as is mindfulness. Creo que la compasión es una de ellas, al igual que la atención plena. Myślę, że współczucie jest ogromne, podobnie jak uważność. I’d go with those two any day of the week. Me quedaría con esas dos en cualquier momento de la semana. Chodziłbym z tą dwójką każdego dnia tygodnia. But if I had to pick just one, it would be this: learning to be happy with yourself. Pero si tuviera que elegir solo una, sería esta: aprender a ser feliz contigo mismo. Ale gdybym miał wybrać tylko jedną, byłoby to: nauka bycia szczęśliwym z siebie.

That seems too simple, too trite! ¡Eso parece demasiado simple, trivial!

Too mushy and New-Agey! ¡Demasiado sensiblero y New Age! Zbyt papkowaty i New Agey! And I’ll grant all of that, but I stand firmly by my pick. Y concedo todo eso, pero sigo firmemente con mi elección. I zgodzę się na to wszystko, ale jestem zdecydowany przy swoim wyborze. Why? ¿Por qué?

The answer has to do with how this one thing can affect everything else in your life. La respuesta tiene que ver con cómo esta única cosa puede afectar todo lo demás en tu vida. If you are not happy with yourself, or your body, you become insecure. Si no estás feliz contigo mismo, o con tu cuerpo, te vuelves inseguro. You think you’re not good enough. Piensas que no eres lo suficientemente bueno. You fear being abandoned and alone. Teme ser abandonado y estar solo. You do lots of other things to compensate, and these lead to problems. Haces muchas otras cosas para compensar, y esto lleva a problemas. So many of the problems people have stem from this one thing — being unhappy with themselves (often in the form of being unhappy with their bodies). Muchos de los problemas que las personas tienen se derivan de esta única cosa: no estar feliz consigo mismos (a menudo en forma de no estar felices con sus cuerpos).

Let’s take a look at why, and then look at some ideas of how to master the skill. Veamos por qué y luego veamos algunas ideas sobre cómo dominar esta habilidad. Why It Affects Everything Por qué afecta todo

Let’s say you’re unhappy with your body. Digamos que no estás contento/a con tu cuerpo.

You think you are too fat, or too skinny, or your butt is too small (or too big). Piensas que estás demasiado gordo/a, o demasiado delgado/a, o que tu trasero es muy pequeño (o muy grande). Or your boobs are too small, or your pecs aren’t big enough. O tus senos son muy pequeños, o tus pectorales no son lo suficientemente grandes. Albo twoje piersi są za małe lub twoje klatki piersiowe nie są wystarczająco duże. Your stomach is flabby, or loose, or covered in stretch marks. Tu estómago está flácido, o suelto, o cubierto de estrías. Twój żołądek jest zwiotczały, luźny lub pokryty rozstępami. Your thighs are too thick. Tus muslos son demasiado gruesos. Twoje uda są za grube. Your hips are too wide, or too narrow. Tus caderas son demasiado anchas, o demasiado estrechas. Twoje biodra są zbyt szerokie lub zbyt wąskie. The list goes on and on. La lista continúa y continúa. Lista jest długa. We’ll get into why we’re unhappy in a minute, but for now, just imagine the unlikely scenario that you’re unhappy with your body. Entraremos en por qué no estamos contentos en un minuto, pero por ahora, solo imagina el escenario improbable de que no estás contento/a con tu cuerpo. Za chwilę dowiemy się, dlaczego jesteśmy nieszczęśliwi, ale na razie wyobraź sobie nieprawdopodobny scenariusz, że jesteś niezadowolony ze swojego ciała.

What does that do to you? ¿Qué te hace eso? Well, you might be envious of other people (who, you know, are also unhappy with their bodies). Bueno, es posible que sientas envidia de otras personas (que, ya sabes, también están descontentas con sus cuerpos). You might be worried that you’re not attractive enough to meet someone, and therefore sabotage your chances for a relationship. Es posible que te preocupes de no ser lo suficientemente atractivo/a como para conocer a alguien y, por lo tanto, sabotees tus posibilidades de tener una relación. If you’re in a relationship, you might think your boyfriend/girlfriend will leave you for someone more attractive. Si estás en una relación, es posible que pienses que tu novio/a te dejará por alguien más atractivo/a. You might then act jealously, and do things out of this jealousy that actually leads to your partner being unhappy, and possibly eventually leaving you. Entonces podrías actuar con celos y hacer cosas por causa de esos celos que en realidad generen la infelicidad de tu pareja, y posiblemente te lleve a que te deje. If you’re unhappy with your body, you might not want to look at it. Si no estás contento/a con tu cuerpo, es posible que no quieras ni siquiera mirarlo.

You might obsessively undereat, and then binge eat, and then feel worse about yourself. Es posible que te obsesiones y no comas lo suficiente, y luego comas en exceso, y luego te sientas peor contigo mismo/a. You might avoid exercise because you don’t want to even think about the problem. Es posible que evites hacer ejercicio porque no quieres ni siquiera pensar en el problema. You might eat junk food to comfort your bad feelings, and then make the health problems worse. Es posible que comas comida chatarra para consolar tus malos sentimientos y luego empeores los problemas de salud. You might have anxiety about all of this, about your body, your health, your girlfriend leaving you. Es posible que tengas ansiedad por todo esto, por tu cuerpo, tu salud, que tu novia te abandone.

Then you eat more to assuage the anxiety, and it gets worse. Entonces comes más para calmar la ansiedad, y empeora. Or you shop to make yourself feel better, and you get deeply in debt and your life fills with clutter. O compras para sentirte mejor contigo mismo y te endeudas profundamente y tu vida se llena de desorden. Or you drink alcohol or numb yourself with drugs or television so you don’t have to think about all this. O bebes alcohol o te adormeces con drogas o televisión para no tener que pensar en todo esto. At work, you’re unhappy because you aren’t confident about yourself or your body, so you don’t do the things that require confidence and that would further your career. En el trabajo, estás infeliz porque no confías en ti mismo ni en tu cuerpo, así que no haces las cosas que requieren confianza y que podrían impulsar tu carrera.

You might not leave your work to find work you’re more passionate about, because you don’t think you’re good enough. Es posible que no dejes tu trabajo para encontrar uno en el que te apasione más, porque no crees que eres lo suficientemente bueno. Even at the work you’re in, you do what you can to not think about the unhappiness you have, so you procrastinate with social networks, games, and other diversions. Incluso en el trabajo en el que estás, haces lo posible para no pensar en la infelicidad que tienes, así que procrastinas con redes sociales, juegos y otras distracciones. Nawet w pracy, w której jesteś, robisz, co możesz, aby nie myśleć o swoim nieszczęściu, więc zwlekasz z sieciami społecznościowymi, grami i innymi rozrywkami. There’s much more that’s possible, but you get the idea. Hay mucho más que es posible, pero captas la idea.

Not everyone has all of these symptoms, but they’re possible for anyone. No todos tienen todos estos síntomas, pero son posibles para cualquiera. Many of our problems stems from this one problem, and fixing it can change everything. Muchos de nuestros problemas se originan en este problema, y solucionarlo puede cambiar todo. That’s why, if you have a finite amount of time to learn (and we all do), investing that time into learning this one skill can pay off in innumerable ways. Por eso, si tienes un tiempo limitado para aprender (como todos), invertir ese tiempo en aprender esta habilidad puede tener innumerables beneficios.

It’s the most important skill you can master. Es la habilidad más importante que puedes dominar. Why We’re Like This Por qué somos así

If this is so bad, why are we like this? Si esto es tan malo, ¿por qué somos así?

How did it get this way? ¿Cómo llegamos a este punto? Well, there’s no one answer. Bueno, no hay una única respuesta. It’s a building up of lots of reasons, including: Es una acumulación de muchas razones, incluyendo: Mass media . Los medios de comunicación masivos. Mass media.

We see beautiful celebrities with perfect faces, stomachs, thighs, abs, chests and asses all over the place — on the Internet, on TV and movies, in magazines. Vemos celebridades hermosas con rostros perfectos, estómagos, muslos, abdominales, pechos y traseros en todas partes: en Internet, en la televisión y el cine, en revistas. Everywhere. En todas partes. They’re celebrated as the pinnacle of our society, and we all want to be them in some way. Se les celebra como la cima de nuestra sociedad y todos queremos ser como ellos de alguna manera. They’re not real, of course — they’re Photoshopped, make-upped, did upped in so many ways that what we see is an illusion. Por supuesto, no son reales: están retocados con Photoshop, maquillaje, mejoras de muchas maneras, de modo que lo que vemos es una ilusión. We’re comparing ourselves to an illusion. Nos estamos comparando con una ilusión. But even if they were, why would we need to be like them? Pero incluso si lo fueran, ¿por qué tendríamos que ser como ellos? Why can’t we be like ourselves, and let that be the ideal? ¿Por qué no podemos ser como nosotros mismos y dejar que eso sea el ideal? Comments from others . Comentarios de otros. Friends, family members, co-workers, even spouses might make a seemingly innocent comment about our butt or boobs that makes us feel bad about ourselves. Amigos, familiares, compañeros de trabajo e incluso cónyuges pueden hacer comentarios aparentemente inocentes sobre nuestro trasero o nuestros pechos que nos hacen sentir mal con respecto a nosotros mismos. These comments are small but hit our self-esteem very hard. Estos comentarios son pequeños pero afectan mucho nuestra autoestima. They’re not really about us, though, even if we almost always take them to heart. No se trata realmente de nosotros, aunque casi siempre los tomamos como algo personal. They’re about the other person, who is having a bad day, or jealous of you, or projecting their own insecurities on you, or comparing you to the mass media celebrities they idolize for no good reason. Se trata de la otra persona, que está teniendo un mal día, o está celosa de ti, o proyecta sus propias inseguridades en ti, o te compara con las celebridades de los medios de comunicación a las que idolatran sin motivo. See these comments for what they are, and don’t take them to heart. Ve estos comentarios por lo que son y no los tomes como algo personal. Childhood incidents . Incidentes de la infancia. In childhood, perhaps our parents made some comments about us that made us feel bad. En la infancia, tal vez nuestros padres hicieron algunos comentarios sobre nosotros que nos hicieron sentir mal. Perhaps our parents got a divorce, or our dad was never around — if dad left mom, maybe that meant she wasn’t good enough for him, and by extension maybe I’m not good enough for someone else? Tal vez nuestros padres se separaron o nuestro padre nunca estuvo cerca: si papá dejó a mamá, ¿tal vez eso significa que ella no era lo suficientemente buena para él y, por extensión, tal vez yo no soy lo suficientemente bueno para alguien más? If dad left, maybe it’s because I wasn’t good enough for him? Si papá se fue, ¿tal vez es porque no era lo suficientemente bueno para él? This might sound like psychological mumbo-jumbo, but it’s real. Esto podría sonar como una charlatanería psicológica, pero es real. I’ve experienced it, and so have countless others. Lo he experimentado, al igual que muchos otros. It doesn’t mean we have to let it rule our lives, but we should be aware that it’s there, and learn to deal with it. No significa que tengamos que dejar que eso gobierne nuestras vidas, pero debemos ser conscientes de que está ahí y aprender a lidiar con ello. Failures . Fracasos. Perhaps we’ve made some mistakes and failed at some things we tried to do. Tal vez hemos cometido algunos errores y hemos fracasado en algunas cosas que intentamos hacer. Honestly, everyone does, but when we do it, we take it to heart. Honestamente, todos lo hacen, pero cuando lo hacemos, lo tomamos como algo personal. It makes us feel bad about ourselves — we’re not disciplined, we’re not good enough. Nos hace sentir mal con respecto a nosotros mismos: no somos disciplinados, no somos lo suficientemente buenos. This leads to further failures, further hurting our self-image. Esto lleva a más fracasos, lastimando aún más nuestra imagen personal. Health problems . Problemas de salud. While having thick thighs or a bit of flab on the tummy is nothing to feel bad about — love how you look! Mientras tener muslos gruesos o un poco de flacidez en el abdomen no es motivo para sentirse mal, ¡ama cómo te ves! — a completely separate problem from how we feel about our bodies is the health of our bodies. — un problema completamente separado de cómo nos sentimos acerca de nuestros cuerpos es la salud de nuestros cuerpos. We tend to mix them together — being fat makes us feel bad about ourselves, for example — but really they can be separated. Tendemos a mezclarlos — ser gordos nos hace sentir mal acerca de nosotros mismos, por ejemplo — pero en realidad se pueden separar. We can feel good about our bodies but realize that being overweight can lead to heart disease and diabetes down the road, so it only makes sense to lose some weight. Podemos sentirnos bien acerca de nuestros cuerpos pero darnos cuenta de que estar sobrepeso puede llevar a enfermedades cardíacas y diabetes en el futuro, por lo que tiene sentido perder algo de peso. Not because we want to look like a celebrity and feel better about ourselves, but because we want to be healthy. No porque queramos parecer una celebridad y sentirnos mejor acerca de nosotros mismos, sino porque queremos estar saludables. Being healthy, by the way, can help your self-image, and even though I said they can be separated, this is one positive benefit from conflating the two that you should accept happily. Ser saludable, por cierto, puede ayudar a tu imagen personal, y aunque dije que pueden ser separados, este es un beneficio positivo al mezclar los dos que deberías aceptar felizmente. Spiral of negative thoughts . Espiral de pensamientos negativos. One bad thought leads to another, and then another, until we have a bundle of bad thoughts that become our self-image. Un mal pensamiento lleva a otro, y luego a otro, hasta que tenemos un conjunto de pensamientos negativos que se convierten en nuestra imagen personal. This negative self-image can affect everything we do. Esta imagen personal negativa puede afectar todo lo que hacemos. But this self-image and these bad thoughts are not us — they are things that happen within us, but we don’t have to let them become us. Pero esta imagen personal y estos malos pensamientos no somos nosotros — son cosas que ocurren dentro de nosotros, pero no tenemos que dejar que se conviertan en nosotros. We can cope with them, and turn them into positive thoughts, into gratitude, into happiness. Podemos lidiar con ellos y convertirlos en pensamientos positivos, en gratitud, en felicidad. These are just a few reasons. Estas son solo algunas razones.

In fact, so many things affect our self-image that it’s impossible to list them all, but it’s good to start to be aware of them, so we can cope with them. De hecho, tantas cosas afectan nuestra imagen personal que es imposible enumerarlas todas, pero es bueno empezar a ser conscientes de ellas, para poder lidiar con ellas. How to Master the Skill Cómo dominar la habilidad.

Let’s say you’ve accepted my premise that learning to be happy with yourself (let’s call it “love thyself”) is the most important skill to master … how do you get started? Digamos que has aceptado mi premisa de que aprender a ser feliz contigo mismo (llamémoslo "ámese a sí mismo") es la habilidad más importante para dominar... ¿cómo empiezas?

The simple answer is practice. La respuesta simple es practicar.

The complicated answer is that it takes awhile, because our self-image wasn’t formed overnight and it won’t be changed overnight. La respuesta complicada es que lleva tiempo, porque nuestra imagen personal no se formó de la noche a la mañana y no se cambiará de la noche a la mañana. That’s OK. Eso está bien. Just focus on this moment, and you’ll learn as you go. Solo enfócate en este momento y aprenderás a medida que avanzas. I can’t give you a complete guide to learning to love thyself, as that would take a book, and I’m still learning myself, but here are some tips for starting out: No puedo darte una guía completa sobre cómo aprender a amarte a ti mismo, ya que eso requeriría un libro, y aún estoy aprendiendo yo mismo, pero aquí tienes algunos consejos para empezar:

Become aware of your mental movie . Toma conciencia de tu película mental.

You have a movie (perhaps a series of them) that you play inside your head about yourself. Tienes una película (quizás una serie de ellas) que reproduces en tu mente acerca de ti mismo. Usually we aren’t aware of this, but it happens, throughout the day. Por lo general, no somos conscientes de esto, pero ocurre a lo largo del día. The movie is about who we are: you have a flabby stomach, you are fat, you are too skinny, you aren’t disciplined, you aren’t lovable, your braces look weird, you aren’t good at anything. La película trata sobre quiénes somos: tienes un estómago flácido, eres gordo, eres demasiado delgado, no eres disciplinado, no eres amable, tus frenillos se ven extraños, no eres bueno en nada. Start to pay attention when this movie plays — it affects everything you do. Empieza a prestar atención cuando se reproduce esta película, porque afecta todo lo que haces. Realize that this movie isn’t you — it’s just playing in your head. Date cuenta de que esta película no eres tú, solo se reproduce en tu cabeza. Realize that it isn’t true, and isn’t based on reality. Date cuenta de que no es verdad y no está basada en la realidad. Realize that it can be changed. Date cuenta de que puede ser cambiada. Start to make a new movie . Empieza a hacer una nueva película. This new movie will replace that play-out old one that keeps running in your theater. Esta nueva película reemplazará a la antigua que sigue reproduciéndose en tu teatro. It will be a Michael Bay production, with a gorgeous lead actor (hey, that’s you! Será una producción de Michael Bay, con un actor principal hermoso (¡hey, eres tú!), grandes efectos visuales, mucha emoción... pero con un desarrollo de personajes más profundo y un presupuesto mucho más pequeño. ), great visual effects, lots of excitement … except with more character development and a lot smaller budget. En lugar de basar esta película en temores de la infancia o ilusiones de celebridades o comentarios de otros, debería basarse en el hecho de que eres una buena persona, maravillosa incluso, que es amorosa, amable, hermosa, apasionada. Let’s base this movie on reality, not fears from childhood or illusions of celebrities or comments from others. Esto puede no ser lo que piensas de ti mismo, pero hagamos la película así de todos modos. Instead, it should be based on the fact that you are a good person, wonderful even, who is loving, kind, beautiful, passionate. Pregunta a otras personas por qué eres amable (personas que probablemente te darán una respuesta amable). This might not be what you think about yourself, but let’s make the movie like this anyway. Ask other people why you’re lovable (people who are likely to give a kind answer). Use these images in your new movie. Usa estas imágenes en tu nueva película. When negative images start coming up (my boobs are too small! Cuando comiencen a surgir imágenes negativas (¡mis senos son demasiado pequeños!), ), cut them out and tell them they have no place in your production. Put better images in. Coloca imágenes mejores. Consciously play the new movie . Juega conscientemente la nueva película. Learn to recognize the flicker of the old movie starting, and shut it off. Aprende a reconocer el parpadeo de la antigua película empezando, y apágala. Put the new movie in the projector instead, and play it. Pon la nueva película en el proyector y reprodúcela. Practice this like it’s your new religion. Practica esto como si fuera tu nueva religión. You will get better with constant practice. Mejorarás con práctica constante. Put up reminders all around you so you don’t forget. Coloca recordatorios a tu alrededor para que no se te olvide. Learn mental judo . Aprende judo mental. There will be things coming in all around you that will try to attack your new movie. Habrá cosas que vendrán desde todos lados para intentar atacar tu nueva película. Comments from friends, celebrities, things you see on Facebook. Comentarios de amigos, celebridades, cosas que ves en Facebook. When they are hurtling towards you, learn to lean to one side and let them whiz by. Cuando se dirijan hacia ti, aprende a inclinarte hacia un lado y dejar que pasen silbando. Give them a small shove, with a thought like, “That comment is not about me, it’s about you.” (And then go give your friend a hug — she’s probably having a bad day.) Dales un pequeño empujón, con un pensamiento como "Ese comentario no es sobre mí, es sobre ti" (Y luego ve y abraza a tu amigo, probablemente esté teniendo un mal día). Or a thought like, “That celebrity probably is also worried about her body — having big boobs or a flat stomach doesn’t solve that problem.” Give the celebrity a mental hug, then play your new movie. O un pensamiento como "Esa celebridad probablemente también está preocupada por su cuerpo: tener senos grandes o un estómago plano no resuelve ese problema". Dale un abrazo mental a la celebridad y luego reproduce tu nueva película. You are already perfect — you just need to realize it. Ya eres perfecto/a, solo necesitas darte cuenta.

You don’t need anything to solve this problem — you already have it. No necesitas nada para resolver este problema, ya lo tienes. You just need to practice, like it’s the most important thing in your life, because in many ways, it is. Solo necesitas practicar, como si fuera lo más importante en tu vida, porque de muchas formas, lo es. ‘You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection. "Tú mismo, tanto como cualquier otra persona en todo el universo, mereces tu amor y afecto". ~Buda

'  ~Buddha ---

If you like this lesson, check out for more in this course. Si te gusta esta lección, busca más en este curso.