×

We use cookies to help make LingQ better. By visiting the site, you agree to our cookie policy.

image

Happiness, 4.10 (V) Week 4 Video 9 - Appreciating Uncertainty and Lack of Control

4.10 (V) Week 4 Video 9 - Appreciating Uncertainty and Lack of Control

[MUSIC] Cha-on and Cha-chi my Vietnamese and other friends. In the last video I discussed the first of the two strategies for taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, learning simple emotion regulation tactics. In this video, I want to turn to the second main strategy for taking personal responsibility for your happiness, the strategy of leading a healthy lifestyle. Let me introduce to you the strategy by telling you a folk tale from India. India is of course the land of folktales and myths and there is one folk tale in particular that I loved hearing when I was growing up, it goes like this. There was once a guy that was so desperate for happiness that he started doing penance up in the mountains in the Himalayas. He prayed and prayed for many, many years. Finally God was so pleased with him that he appeared in front of him and said, my son, I'm very pleased with your prayers and I'm ready to grant you whatever you want. Much like how most people forget to ask the genie for happiness, he too forgot to ask for happiness from God. And instead, he said thank you God, from now on, whenever I wish for something, that should immediately happen and God said, done my son, your boon is granted and he vanished. The man was ecstatic, he immediately wished that he could look young again and his wish was granted. Then he wished that he could learn many new greetings in various languages from around the world, and he was immediately granted this wish too. Then he wished that he would have a really nice palace to live in, and some great friends to hang out with, and those things happened too. This continued like this for awhile. He would just think of something that he wanted, wine, women, mirth, and laughter, and he would immediately be granted all those things. Then after a couple of months of this, the man discovered that he wasn't actually feeling any happier than he felt before. In fact, he discovered that he was actually starting to feel quite depressed. Whenever he wanted, whatever he wanted, he immediately got it. This robbed the thrill from life. So he called one of the guards in his palace that he had gotten close to one evening and he told him, you know, I have a good mind to wish that I am transferred to hell right now. This heaven that I'm living in currently, doesn't seem to be really working out for me. God then turned around to the man, and said, and this is the punchline so pay close attention, he said where do you think you've been all this time? What the story tells you is that a life in which everything is predictable and totally under your control Is actually not such a good life. It's a hellish life. Such a life would be far from being interesting and exciting. It would be a very boring life. Findings from many studies are actually consistent with this idea that I've just conveyed to you, that we find things more enjoyable and exciting, when things are actually uncertain. In one study, thirsty participants had a brain scan while they were drinking a moderately pleasant drink, water. Or some of the participants actually got something more pleasant to drink, fruit juice. Now for some of the participants, uncertainty was taken out of the equation. They were told what they would be drinking and when. Other participants were left in the dark, both in terms of what they would be drinking and when they would be drinking it. Researchers then looked into these participants' brains to figure out who is happier. Participants who knew that they were going to get something to drink, but did not know what or when, findings showed enjoy the experience much more than those who were told exactly what is going to happen. In other words, uncertainty in this situation actually enhanced happiness and did not lower it. Another study showed a very similar pattern of results overall. So in this study, participants were asked to imagine how they would feel is they received a free dollar. And further half the participants were told to imagine that they would learn about why they received the free dollar, while the other half were told to imagine that they wouldn't learn why they received it. Both sets of participants were asked to indicate how happy they would feel upon receiving this dollar. Findings revealed that those who were told to imagine that they would get to know why they received the dollar expected to feel happier. However, when the experiments actually conducted a study in which participants were given a free dollar, they found that those who didn't learn why they received the free dollar were actually happier. And their happiness lasted longer than those who did. At some level, we all know that uncertainty and lack of control are actually very important for enjoying life. For example, you wouldn't want to know the story for a movie before you go to see it. That's why it's called a spoiler alert, in some of these reviews. Likewise, you wouldn't want to know the outcome of a game if you haven't yet seen it. More generally, you wouldn't want to know exactly how your life is gonna turn out to be. It would just kill the thrill of living. Like the man in the folk tale that I described to you discovered. And yet many of us forget this simple fact as we're going about our lives. Why is it? One reason could be, because life is so much more uncertain and so much more out of control than we would like it to be. That we aren't able to appreciate and see the positive role that uncertainty and lack of control can play in our lives. Research on something called Optimum Stimulation Level is actually quite consistent with this idea. What this research suggests is that everyone has an ideal point of stimulation or uncertainty if you will. Below this point life is too predictable and in control and we get bored. And above this point when life is too unpredictable and too out of control, we get anxious. If you're reminded of flow here, that's not an accident. There is a reason why we enjoy activities that are neither too boring nor too anxiety provoking. That's because we are most curious, most engaged, most absorbed with the activity or life itself when things are at the right level of being out of our control and the stretches. What this means is that for us to be able to appreciate the positive role that uncertainty and lack of control play, we need to feel that our life in general is pretty much under control. We need to feel that we have a solid foundation and a platform under our feet. It's only when we feel this that we can be receptive to the uncertainty and being out of control. If our life is already too challenging and we feel so anxious and out of control most of the time, we're already way past the ideal point of uncertainty and lack of control. And there's no way that we can appreciate the positive role that both of these things can play in our lives. Unfortunately, for many of us, our normal life, our day to day life, is far too fast, and out of control. That is, we are stressed out and anxious much of the time, as this article in the Harvard Business Review noted. Which explains why we are incapable of appreciating the positive role that answered in here in lack of control can play in enriching our lives. As with many other things, I think Mahatma Ghandi had it spot on, he said, there's more to life than increasing its speed. In other words, if you're currently of the view that life can't get too predictable or under your control. It is probably because you can't handle the challenges that you're currently facing, all those obligations and the goals that you've taken on. It follows therefore that one way to get yourself to be in a position where you can appreciate the uncertainty and the lack of control is to examine the lifestyle that you're currently leading a little more closely. And make some healthy changes to it. This is where the exercise for this week comes in, which has to do with doing three things right, eating right, moving more, and sleeping better. These are words that I've actually taken from a really excellent book, that I loved reading, called Eat Move Sleep by the best-selling author of many books actually, Tom Rath. Why does eating right, moving more, and sleeping better, enable you to appreciate uncertainty and lack of control more? That's because as I will share with you in the next couple of videos, all three make you feel good from the inside out and lower your stress levels. And as a result, they put you in a position where you can more easily and naturally appreciate the role that uncertainty and lack of control play in adding excitement and pizzazz to your life. With that, let me say [FOREIGN], see you in the next review. [MUSIC]


4.10 (V) Week 4 Video 9 - Appreciating Uncertainty and Lack of Control

[MUSIC] Cha-on and Cha-chi my Vietnamese and other friends. In the last video I discussed the first of the two strategies for taking personal responsibility for your own happiness, learning simple emotion regulation tactics. In this video, I want to turn to the second main strategy for taking personal responsibility for your happiness, the strategy of leading a healthy lifestyle. Let me introduce to you the strategy by telling you a folk tale from India. India is of course the land of folktales and myths and there is one folk tale in particular that I loved hearing when I was growing up, it goes like this. There was once a guy that was so desperate for happiness that he started doing penance up in the mountains in the Himalayas. He prayed and prayed for many, many years. Finally God was so pleased with him that he appeared in front of him and said, my son, I'm very pleased with your prayers and I'm ready to grant you whatever you want. Much like how most people forget to ask the genie for happiness, he too forgot to ask for happiness from God. And instead, he said thank you God, from now on, whenever I wish for something, that should immediately happen and God said, done my son, your boon is granted and he vanished. The man was ecstatic, he immediately wished that he could look young again and his wish was granted. Then he wished that he could learn many new greetings in various languages from around the world, and he was immediately granted this wish too. Then he wished that he would have a really nice palace to live in, and some great friends to hang out with, and those things happened too. This continued like this for awhile. He would just think of something that he wanted, wine, women, mirth, and laughter, and he would immediately be granted all those things. Then after a couple of months of this, the man discovered that he wasn't actually feeling any happier than he felt before. In fact, he discovered that he was actually starting to feel quite depressed. Whenever he wanted, whatever he wanted, he immediately got it. This robbed the thrill from life. So he called one of the guards in his palace that he had gotten close to one evening and he told him, you know, I have a good mind to wish that I am transferred to hell right now. This heaven that I'm living in currently, doesn't seem to be really working out for me. God then turned around to the man, and said, and this is the punchline so pay close attention, he said where do you think you've been all this time? What the story tells you is that a life in which everything is predictable and totally under your control Is actually not such a good life. It's a hellish life. Such a life would be far from being interesting and exciting. It would be a very boring life. Findings from many studies are actually consistent with this idea that I've just conveyed to you, that we find things more enjoyable and exciting, when things are actually uncertain. In one study, thirsty participants had a brain scan while they were drinking a moderately pleasant drink, water. Or some of the participants actually got something more pleasant to drink, fruit juice. Now for some of the participants, uncertainty was taken out of the equation. They were told what they would be drinking and when. Other participants were left in the dark, both in terms of what they would be drinking and when they would be drinking it. Researchers then looked into these participants' brains to figure out who is happier. Participants who knew that they were going to get something to drink, but did not know what or when, findings showed enjoy the experience much more than those who were told exactly what is going to happen. In other words, uncertainty in this situation actually enhanced happiness and did not lower it. Another study showed a very similar pattern of results overall. So in this study, participants were asked to imagine how they would feel is they received a free dollar. And further half the participants were told to imagine that they would learn about why they received the free dollar, while the other half were told to imagine that they wouldn't learn why they received it. Both sets of participants were asked to indicate how happy they would feel upon receiving this dollar. Findings revealed that those who were told to imagine that they would get to know why they received the dollar expected to feel happier. However, when the experiments actually conducted a study in which participants were given a free dollar, they found that those who didn't learn why they received the free dollar were actually happier. And their happiness lasted longer than those who did. At some level, we all know that uncertainty and lack of control are actually very important for enjoying life. For example, you wouldn't want to know the story for a movie before you go to see it. That's why it's called a spoiler alert, in some of these reviews. Likewise, you wouldn't want to know the outcome of a game if you haven't yet seen it. More generally, you wouldn't want to know exactly how your life is gonna turn out to be. It would just kill the thrill of living. Like the man in the folk tale that I described to you discovered. And yet many of us forget this simple fact as we're going about our lives. Why is it? One reason could be, because life is so much more uncertain and so much more out of control than we would like it to be. That we aren't able to appreciate and see the positive role that uncertainty and lack of control can play in our lives. Research on something called Optimum Stimulation Level is actually quite consistent with this idea. What this research suggests is that everyone has an ideal point of stimulation or uncertainty if you will. Below this point life is too predictable and in control and we get bored. And above this point when life is too unpredictable and too out of control, we get anxious. If you're reminded of flow here, that's not an accident. There is a reason why we enjoy activities that are neither too boring nor too anxiety provoking. That's because we are most curious, most engaged, most absorbed with the activity or life itself when things are at the right level of being out of our control and the stretches. What this means is that for us to be able to appreciate the positive role that uncertainty and lack of control play, we need to feel that our life in general is pretty much under control. We need to feel that we have a solid foundation and a platform under our feet. It's only when we feel this that we can be receptive to the uncertainty and being out of control. If our life is already too challenging and we feel so anxious and out of control most of the time, we're already way past the ideal point of uncertainty and lack of control. And there's no way that we can appreciate the positive role that both of these things can play in our lives. Unfortunately, for many of us, our normal life, our day to day life, is far too fast, and out of control. That is, we are stressed out and anxious much of the time, as this article in the Harvard Business Review noted. Which explains why we are incapable of appreciating the positive role that answered in here in lack of control can play in enriching our lives. As with many other things, I think Mahatma Ghandi had it spot on, he said, there's more to life than increasing its speed. In other words, if you're currently of the view that life can't get too predictable or under your control. It is probably because you can't handle the challenges that you're currently facing, all those obligations and the goals that you've taken on. It follows therefore that one way to get yourself to be in a position where you can appreciate the uncertainty and the lack of control is to examine the lifestyle that you're currently leading a little more closely. And make some healthy changes to it. This is where the exercise for this week comes in, which has to do with doing three things right, eating right, moving more, and sleeping better. These are words that I've actually taken from a really excellent book, that I loved reading, called Eat Move Sleep by the best-selling author of many books actually, Tom Rath. Why does eating right, moving more, and sleeping better, enable you to appreciate uncertainty and lack of control more? That's because as I will share with you in the next couple of videos, all three make you feel good from the inside out and lower your stress levels. And as a result, they put you in a position where you can more easily and naturally appreciate the role that uncertainty and lack of control play in adding excitement and pizzazz to your life. With that, let me say [FOREIGN], see you in the next review. [MUSIC]