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TEDTalks, Julia Sweeney – "Letting Go of God" (an excerpt) (2006)

Julia Sweeney – "Letting Go of God" (an excerpt) (2006)

On September 10, the morning of my seventh birthday, I came downstairs to the kitchen, where my mother was washing the dishes and my father was reading the paper or something, and I sort of presented myself to them in the doorway, and they said, "Hey, happy birthday. " And I said, "I'm seven." And my father smiled and said, "Well, you know what that means, don't you?" And I said, "Yeah, that I'm going to have a party and a cake and get a lot of presents?" And my dad said, "Well, yes. But, more importantly, being seven means that you've reached the age of reason, and you're now capable of committing any and all sins against God and man." (Laughter)

Now, I had heard this phrase, "age of reason," before. Sister Mary Kevin had been bandying it about my second-grade class at school. But when she said it, the phrase seemed all caught up in the excitement of preparations for our first communion and our first confession, and everybody knew that was really all about the white dress and the white veil, and anyway, I hadn't really paid all that much attention to that phrase, "age of reason." So, I said, "Yeah, yeah, age of reason. What does that mean again?" And my dad said, "Well, we believe in the Catholic church that God knows that little kids don't know the difference between right and wrong, but when you're seven, you're old enough to know better. So, you've grown up, and reached the age of reason, and now God will start keeping notes on you and begin your permanent record." (Laughter) And I said, "Oh. Wait a minute. You mean all that time, up till today, all that time I was so good, God didn't notice it?" And my mom said, "Well, I noticed it." (Laughter) And I thought, "How could I not have known this before? How could it not have sunk in when they'd been telling me? All that being good and no real credit for it. And, worst of all, how could I not have realized this very important information until the very day that it was basically useless to me?" And so I said, "Well, Mom and Dad, what about Santa Claus? I mean, Santa Claus knows if you're naughty or nice, right?" And my dad said, "Yeah, but, honey, I think that's technically just between Thanksgiving and Christmas." And my mother said, "Oh, Bob, stop it. Let's just tell her. I mean, she's seven. Julie, there is no Santa Claus." (Laughter) Now, this was actually not that upsetting to me.

My parents had this whole elaborate story about Santa Claus: how they had talked to Santa Claus himself and agreed that instead of Santa delivering our presents over the night of Christmas Eve, like he did for every other family who got to open their surprises first thing Christmas morning, our family would give Santa more time. Santa would come to our house while we were at nine o'clock high mass on Christmas morning, but only if all of us kids did not make a fuss. Which made me very suspicious. It was pretty obvious that it was really our parents giving us the presents. I mean, my dad had a very distinctive wrapping style, and my mother's handwriting was so close to Santa's. Plus, why would Santa save time by having to loop back to our house after he'd gone to everybody else's? There's only one obvious conclusion to reach from this mountain of evidence: our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit, and my poor parents were trying to protect us from the embarrassment, this humiliation of rejection by Santa, who was jolly. But, let's face it, he was also very judgmental. So, to find out that there was no Santa Claus at all was actually, sort of a relief.

I left the kitchen not really in shock about Santa, but rather I was just dumbfounded about how I could have missed this whole age of reason thing. It was too late for me, but maybe I could help someone else, someone who could use the information. They had to fit two criteria: they had to be old enough to be able to understand the whole concept of the age of reason, and not yet seven. The answer was clear: my brother Bill. He was six. Well, I finally found Bill about a block away from our house at this public school playground. It was a Saturday, and he was all by himself, just kicking a ball against the side of a wall. I ran up to him and said, "Bill! I just realized that the age of reason starts when you turn seven, and then you're capable of committing any and all sins against God and man." And Bill said, "So?" And then I said, "So, you're six. You have a whole year to do anything you want to and God won't notice it." And he said, "So?" And I said, "So? So everything!" And I turned to run. I was so angry with him. But when I got to the top of the steps, I turned around dramatically and said, "Oh, by the way, Bill, there is no Santa Claus." (Laughter)

Now, I didn't know it at the time, but I really wasn't turning seven on September 10. For my 13th birthday, I planned a slumber party with all of my girlfriends, but a couple of weeks beforehand my mother took me aside and said, "I need to speak to you privately. September 10 is not your birthday. It's October 10." And I said, "What?" (Laughter) And she said, "Listen. The cut-off date to start kindergarten was September 15." (Laughter) "So, I told them that your birthday was on September 10, and then I wasn't sure that you weren't just going to go blab it all over the place, so I started to tell you your birthday was September 10. But, Julie, you were so ready to start school, honey. You were so ready." I thought about it, and when I was four, I was already the oldest of four children, and my mother even had another child to come, so what I think she understandably really meant was that she was so ready, she was so ready. Then she said, "Don't worry, Julie, every year on October 10 when it was your birthday but you didn't realize it, I made sure that you ate a piece of cake that day." (Laughter) Which was comforting, but troubling. My mother had been celebrating my birthday with me, without me. What was so upsetting about this new piece of information was not that I was going to have to change the date of my slumber party with all of my girlfriends, what was most upsetting was that this meant that I was not a Virgo. I had a huge Virgo poster in my bedroom, and I read my horoscope every single day, and it was so totally me. (Laughter) And this meant that I was a Libra? So, I took the bus downtown to get the new Libra poster. The Virgo poster is a picture of a beautiful woman with long hair, sort of lounging by some water, but the Libra poster is just a huge scale. This was around the time that I started filling out physically, and I was filling out a lot more than a lot of the other girls, and, frankly, the whole idea that my astrological sign was a scale just seemed ominous and depressing. (Laughter) But I got the new Libra poster, and I started to read my new Libra horoscope, and I was astonished to find that it was also totally me.

It wasn't until years later, looking back on this whole age-of-reason/change-of-birthday thing, that it dawned on me, I wasn't turning seven when I thought I turned seven. I had a whole other month to do anything I wanted to before God started keeping tabs on me. Oh, life can be so cruel. One day, two Mormon missionaries came to my door. Now, I just live off a main thoroughfare in Los Angeles, and my block is -- well, it's a natural beginning for people who are peddling things door to door. Sometimes I get little old ladies from the Seventh Day Adventist church showing me these cartoon pictures of heaven. And sometimes I get teenagers who promise me that they won't join a gang and just start robbing people if I only buy some magazine subscriptions from them. So, normally I just ignore the doorbell, but on this day I answered. And there stood two boys, each about 19, in white starched short-sleeved shirts, and they had little name tags that identified them as official representatives of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and they said they had a message for me from God. I said, "A message for me? From God?" And they said, "Yes." Now, I was raised in the Pacific Northwest, around a lot of Church of Latter-day Saints people and, you know, I've worked with them and even dated them, but I never really knew the doctrine or what they said to people when they were out on a mission, and I guess I was, sort of, curious, so I said, "Well, please, come in." And they looked really happy, because I don't think this happens to them all that often. (Laughter)

And I sat them down, and I got them glasses of water -- OK, I got it. I got them glasses of water. Don't touch my hair, that's the thing. (Laughter) You can't put a video of myself in front of me and expect me not to fix my hair. (Laughter) OK. So I sat them down and I got them glasses of water, and after niceties they said, "Do you believe that God loves you with all his heart?" And I thought, "Well, of course I believe in God, but, you know, I don't like that word, heart, because it anthropomorphizes God, and I don't like the word, his, either, because that sexualizes God." But I didn't want to argue semantics with these boys, so after a very long, uncomfortable pause, I said "Yes, yes, I do. I feel very loved." And they looked at each other and smiled, like that was the right answer. And then they said, "Do you believe that we're all brothers and sisters on this planet?" And I said, "Yes, I do. Yes, I do." And I was so relieved that it was a question I could answer so quickly. And they said, "Well, then we have a story to tell you. " And they told me this story all about this guy named Lehi, who lived in Jerusalem in 600 BC. Now, apparently in Jerusalem in 600 BC, everyone was completely bad and evil. Every single one of them: man, woman, child, infant, fetus. And God came to Lehi and said to him, "Put your family on a boat and I will lead you out of here." And God did lead them. He led them to America. I said, "America? From Jerusalem to America by boat in 600 BC?" And they said, "Yes." (Laughter) Then they told me how Lehi and his descendants reproduced and reproduced, and over the course of 600 years there were two great races of them, the Nephites and the Lamanites, and the Nephites were totally, totally good -- each and every one of them -- and the Lamanites were totally bad and evil -- every single one of them just bad to the bone. (Laughter)

Then, after Jesus died on the cross for our sins, on his way up to heaven he stopped by America and visited the Nephites. (Laughter) And he told them that if they all remained totally, totally good -- each and every one of them -- they would win the war against the evil Lamanites. But apparently somebody blew it, because the Lamanites were able to kill all the Nephites. All but one guy, this guy named Mormon, who managed to survive by hiding in the woods. And he made sure this whole story was written down in reformed Egyptian hieroglyphics chiseled onto gold plates, which he then buried near Palmyra, New York. (Laughter) Well, I was just on the edge of my seat. (Laughter) I said, "What happened to the Lamanites?" And they said, "Well, they became our Native Americans here in the US." And I said, "So, you believe the Native Americans are descended from a people who were totally evil?" And they said, "Yes." Then they told me how this guy named Joseph Smith found those buried gold plates right in his backyard, and he also found this magic stone back there that he put into his hat and then buried his face into, and this allowed him to translate the gold plates from the reformed Egyptian into English.

Well, at this point I just wanted to give these two boys some advice about their pitch. (Laughter) I wanted to say, "OK, don't start with this story." I mean, even the Scientologists know to start with a personality test before they start -- (Applause) -- telling people all about Xenu, the evil intergalactic overlord. Well, then they said, "Do you believe that God speaks to us through his righteous prophets?" And I said, "No, I don't." Because I was, sort of, upset about this Lamanite story and this crazy gold plate story, but the truth was, I hadn't really thought this through, so I backpedaled a little and I said, "Well, what exactly do you mean by righteous? And what do you mean by prophets? Like, could the prophets be women?" And they said, "No." And I said, "Why?" And they said, "Well, it's because God gave women a gift that is so spectacular, it is so wonderful, that the only gift he had left over to give men was the gift of prophecy." What is this wonderful gift God gave women, I wondered? Maybe their greater ability to cooperate and adapt? Women's longer lifespan? The fact that women tend to be much less violent than men? But, no, it wasn't any of these gifts. They said, "Well, it's her ability to bear children." I said, "Oh, come on. I mean, even if women tried to have a baby every single year from the time they were 15 to the time they were 45, assuming they didn't die from exhaustion, it still seems like some women would have some time left over to hear the word of God." And they said, "No." (Laughter)

Well, then they didn't look so fresh-faced and cute to me any more, but they had more to say. They said, "Well, we also believe that if you're a Mormon and if you're in good standing with the church, when you die you get to go to heaven and be with your family for all eternity." And I said, "Oh, dear -- (Laughter) -- that wouldn't be such a good incentive for me." (Laughter) And they said, "Oh -- hey, well, we also believe that when you go to heaven you get your body restored to you in its best original state. Like, if you'd lost a leg, well, you get it back. Or, if you'd gone blind, you could see." I said, "Oh -- now, I don't have a uterus because I had cancer a few years ago. So, does this mean that if I went to heaven I would get my old uterus back?" And they said, "Sure." And I said, "I don't want it back. I'm happy without it." Gosh. What if you had a nose job and you liked it? (Laughter) Would God force you to get your old nose back? Well, then they gave me this Book of Mormon. and they told me to read this chapter and that chapter, and they said they'd come back some day and check in on me, and I think I said something like, "Please don't hurry," or maybe it was just, "Please don't," and they were gone. OK, so, I initially felt really superior to these boys, and smug in my more conventional faith. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I had to be honest with myself. If someone came to my door and I was hearing Catholic theology and dogma for the very first time, and they said, "We believe that God impregnated a very young girl without the use of intercourse, and the fact that she was a virgin is maniacally important to us -- (Laughter) -- and she had a baby, and that's the son of God," I mean, I would think that's equally ridiculous. I'm just so used to that story. (Laughter) So, I couldn't let myself feel condescending towards these boys.

But the question they asked me when they first arrived really stuck in my head: Did I believe that God loved me with all his heart? Because I wasn't exactly sure how I felt about that question. Now, if they'd asked me, Do you feel that God loves you with all his heart? Well, that would have been much different, I think I would have instantly answered, "Yes, yes, I feel it all the time. I feel God's love when I'm hurt and confused, and I feel consoled and cared for. I take shelter in God's love when I don't understand why tragedy hits, and I feel God's love when I look with gratitude at all the beauty I see." But since they asked me that question with the word believe in it, somehow it was all different, because I wasn't exactly sure if I believed what I so clearly felt.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/lang/eng/julia_sweeney_on_letting_go_of_god.html


Julia Sweeney – "Letting Go of God" (an excerpt) (2006) Julia Sweeney - "Von Gott loslassen" (ein Auszug) (2006) Julia Sweeney - "Dejar ir a Dios" (un extracto) (2006) Julia Sweeney - "Letting Go of God" (un extrait) (2006) ジュリア・スウィーニー 「神を手放す」(抜粋)(2006年) Julia Sweeney - "Letting Go of God" (fragment) (2006) Julia Sweeney - "Letting Go of God" (um excerto) (2006) Джулия Суини - «Отпуская Бога» (отрывок) (2006) Julia Sweeney - "Letting Go of God" (alıntı) (2006) Джулія Суїні – «Відпустити Бога» (уривок) (2006) Julia Sweeney – “Letting Go of God”(节选)(2006 年) Julia Sweeney – “Letting Go of God”(節選)(2006 年)

On September 10, the morning of my seventh birthday, I came downstairs to the kitchen, where my mother was washing the dishes and my father was reading the paper or something, and I sort of presented myself to them in the doorway, and they said, "Hey, happy birthday. 私の7歳の誕生日の朝9月10日、私は階下の台所にやって来ました。そこで私の母は皿を洗っていました、そして、私の父は新聞か何かを読んでいました。 「ねえ、誕生日おめでとう。 Em 10 de setembro, na manhã do meu sétimo aniversário, desci para a cozinha, onde minha mãe estava lavando a louça e meu pai estava lendo o jornal ou algo assim, e eu meio que me apresentei na porta, e eles disseram "Ei, feliz aniversário. 10 сентября, утром в свой седьмой день рождения, я спустился вниз на кухню, где мама мыла посуду, а отец читал газету или что-то в этом роде, и я как бы представился им в дверях, и они сказали: , "Привет, с днем рождения. 10 вересня, вранці свого сьомого дня народження, я спустився вниз на кухню, де моя мама мила посуд, а мій тато читав газету чи щось таке, і я ніби представився їм у дверях, і вони сказали , «Гей, з днем народження. " And I said, "I’m seven." 「そして私は言った、「私は7人です」 " E eu disse: "Tenho sete anos." И я сказал: «Мне семь». And my father smiled and said, "Well, you know what that means, don’t you?" そして私の父は微笑みながら言った、「ええと、あなたはそれが何を意味するのか知っていますよね?」 E meu pai sorriu e disse: "Bem, você sabe o que isso significa, não é?" И мой отец улыбнулся и сказал: «Ну, ты знаешь, что это значит, не так ли?» And I said, "Yeah, that I’m going to have a party and a cake and get a lot of presents?" そして「私はパーティーとケーキを作り、たくさんのプレゼントをもらおうと思いますか」と私は言った。 E eu disse: "Sim, eu vou dar uma festa e um bolo e ganhar muitos presentes?" И я сказал: «Да, что я собираюсь устроить вечеринку с тортом и получить много подарков?» And my dad said, "Well, yes. そして私の父は言った、「そうですね。 E o meu pai disse: "Bem, sim. И мой папа сказал: «Ну, да. But, more importantly, being seven means that you’ve reached the age of reason, and you’re now capable of committing any and all sins against God and man." Aber was noch wichtiger ist: Sieben zu sein bedeutet, dass du das Alter der Vernunft erreicht hast und nun in der Lage bist, alle Sünden gegen Gott und die Menschen zu begehen." しかし、もっと重要なことに、7であるということはあなたが理性の年齢に達したことを意味し、そして今やあなたは神と人に対してありとあらゆる罪を犯すことができるのです。」 Mas, mais importante, ter sete significa que você alcançou a idade da razão e agora é capaz de cometer todo e qualquer pecado contra Deus e o homem. " Но, что более важно, семь лет означают, что вы достигли эры разума, и теперь вы способны совершать любые грехи против Бога и человека ». Але, що важливіше, сім років означає, що ви досягли віку розуму, і тепер ви здатні вчинити будь-які гріхи проти Бога і людей». 但更重要的是,七岁意味着你已经达到了理性的年龄,你现在有能力对上帝和人类犯下任何和所有的罪。” (Laughter) (笑い)

Now, I had heard this phrase, "age of reason," before. Ich hatte diesen Ausdruck, "Zeitalter der Vernunft", schon einmal gehört. 今、私はこのフレーズ、「理由の年齢」を以前聞いたことがあります。 Já tinha ouvido esta frase, "idade da razão", antes. Я чув цю фразу «вік розуму» раніше. Sister Mary Kevin had been bandying it about my second-grade class at school. Schwester Mary Kevin hatte es in meiner zweiten Klasse in der Schule herumposaunt. 姉妹のメアリー・ケビンは私の2年生のクラスについてそれを盗んでいました。 Zuster Mary Kevin had het over mijn tweede klas op school geslagen. A irmã Mary Kevin estava falando sobre minha turma da segunda série na escola. Сестра Мэри Кевин рассказывала о моем втором классе в школе. Сестра Мері Кевін розповідала про мій другий клас у школі. But when she said it, the phrase seemed all caught up in the excitement of preparations for our first communion and our first confession, and everybody knew that was really all about the white dress and the white veil, and anyway, I hadn’t really paid all that much attention to that phrase, "age of reason." しかし彼女がそれを言ったとき、そのフレーズは私たちの最初の聖体拝領と私たちの最初の告白のための準備の興奮に巻き込まれているように見え、そして誰もが本当に白いドレスと白いベールについてのすべてであることを知っていた「理性の年齢」というその句にそれほど多くの注意を払った。 Mas quando ela disse isso, a frase parecia toda empolgada com os preparativos para a nossa primeira comunhão e nossa primeira confissão, e todo mundo sabia que era realmente tudo sobre o vestido branco e o véu branco, e de qualquer maneira, eu realmente não tinha realmente prestou muita atenção a essa frase "idade da razão". Но когда она это произнесла, эта фраза словно застыла в волнении подготовки к нашему первому причастию и нашему первому исповеданию, и все знали, что на самом деле это все о белом платье и белой вуали, и в любом случае, я не очень уделил столько внимания этой фразе «возраст разума». Але коли вона сказала це, ця фраза, здавалося, пов’язана з хвилюванням підготовки до нашого першого причастя та нашої першої сповіді, і всі знали, що це насправді все про білу сукню та білу вуаль, і в будь-якому випадку я насправді не звернув стільки уваги на цю фразу «вік розуму». So, I said, "Yeah, yeah, age of reason. So, I said, "Yeah, yeah, age of reason. だから、私は言った、「ええ、ええ、理由の年齢。 Então, eu disse: "Sim, sim, a idade da razão. Итак, я сказал: «Да, да, возраст разума. What does that mean again?" Что это значит снова? " And my dad said, "Well, we believe in the Catholic church that God knows that little kids don’t know the difference between right and wrong, but when you’re seven, you’re old enough to know better. そして私の父は言った、「まあ、私たちはカトリック教会を信じています。 E o meu pai disse: "Bem, nós acreditamos na igreja católica que Deus sabe que as crianças pequenas não sabem a diferença entre o certo e o errado, mas quando se tem sete anos, já se tem idade suficiente para saber melhor. So, you’ve grown up, and reached the age of reason, and now God will start keeping notes on you and begin your permanent record." だから、あなたは成長し、理にかなった年齢に達しました、そして今神はあなたにメモをつけ続け、あなたの永久的な記録を始めます。」 Então, você cresceu e alcançou a idade da razão, e agora Deus começará a fazer anotações sobre você e iniciará seu registro permanente ". Итак, вы выросли и достигли возраста разума, и теперь Бог начнет вести записи о вас и начнет ваши постоянные записи ". (Laughter) And I said, "Oh. (笑)そして私は言った、「ああ。 Wait a minute. ちょっと待って。 You mean all that time, up till today, all that time I was so good, God didn’t notice it?" あの時、今日まで、私はとても良かったので、神はそれに気づかなかったのですか?」 Você quer dizer todo esse tempo, até hoje, todo esse tempo que eu era tão bom, Deus não percebeu isso? " Ты имеешь в виду все это время, вплоть до сегодняшнего дня, все то время, когда я был так хорош, что Бог этого не заметил? " And my mom said, "Well, I noticed it." そして、私の母は「まあ、私はそれに気付いた」と言った。 E a minha mãe disse: "Bem, eu reparei nisso". И моя мама сказала: «Ну, я это заметила». (Laughter) And I thought, "How could I not have known this before? (笑)そして、「どうしてこんなことを以前に知ったことがなかったでしょうか」と思いました。 (Risos) E pensei: "Como é que eu não sabia disto antes? (Смех) И я подумал: «Как я мог не знать этого раньше? How could it not have sunk in when they’d been telling me? 彼らが私に言っていたときに、どうしてそれは沈めなかったのでしょうか。 Como não poderia ter afundado quando eles estavam me dizendo? Как это могло не проникнуть, когда они говорили мне? Як це могло не впасти в голову, коли вони мені казали? All that being good and no real credit for it. それはすべて良いことであり、それに対する本当の信用ではありません。 Tudo isso sendo bom e sem nenhum crédito real por isso. Все это хорошо и никакой реальной заслуги за это. And, worst of all, how could I not have realized this very important information until the very day that it was basically useless to me?" そして、何より最悪の場合、この非常に重要な情報が、基本的に私には役に立たない日まで実現できなかったのではないでしょうか。」 E, o pior de tudo, como eu não poderia ter percebido essas informações tão importantes até o dia em que elas eram basicamente inúteis para mim? " И, что хуже всего, как я мог не понимать эту очень важную информацию до того самого дня, когда она была для меня бесполезна? " And so I said, "Well, Mom and Dad, what about Santa Claus? それで私は言った、「まあ、ママとパパ、サンタクロースはどうですか? E então eu disse: "Bem, mamãe e papai, e o Papai Noel? I mean, Santa Claus knows if you’re naughty or nice, right?" サンタクロースは、あなたがいたずらなのかいいのかを知っているね。」 Quer dizer, o Pai Natal sabe se somos maus ou bons, certo? Я имею в виду, Санта-Клаус знает, шали ты или милашка, верно? And my dad said, "Yeah, but, honey, I think that’s technically just between Thanksgiving and Christmas." そして私の父は言った、「ええ、でも、蜂蜜、それは技術的には感謝祭とクリスマスの間にあると思います」。 E meu pai disse: "Sim, mas, querida, acho que tecnicamente é apenas entre o Dia de Ação de Graças e o Natal". І мій тато сказав: «Так, але, люба, я думаю, що технічно це лише між Днем подяки та Різдвом». And my mother said, "Oh, Bob, stop it. そして私の母は言った、「ああ、ボブ、やめなさい。 E a minha mãe disse: "Oh, Bob, pára com isso. Let’s just tell her. 彼女に伝えましょう。 Vamos dizer-lhe. I mean, she’s seven. つまり、彼女は7人です。 Quero dizer, ela tem sete anos. Я имею в виду, ей семь лет. Julie, there is no Santa Claus." ジュリー、サンタクロースはいない」 Julie, o Pai Natal não existe". (Laughter) Now, this was actually not that upsetting to me. (笑)さて、これは実は私にとってそれほど気が動転するものではありませんでした。 (Risos) Agora, isso não foi realmente tão perturbador para mim. (Смех). Это меня не очень расстроило.

My parents had this whole elaborate story about Santa Claus: how they had talked to Santa Claus himself and agreed that instead of Santa delivering our presents over the night of Christmas Eve, like he did for every other family who got to open their surprises first thing Christmas morning, our family would give Santa more time. 私の両親は、サンタクロースについてこの複雑な話を全部しました。クリスマスの朝、私たちの家族はサンタにもっと時間を与えます。 Meus pais tiveram toda essa história elaborada sobre o Papai Noel: como eles conversaram com o próprio Papai Noel e concordaram que, em vez de Papai Noel entregar nossos presentes durante a noite da véspera de Natal, como ele fez para todas as outras famílias que tiveram que abrir suas surpresas logo de início. Na manhã de Natal, nossa família daria mais tempo ao Papai Noel. У моих родителей была вся эта тщательно продуманная история о Санта-Клаусе: как они разговаривали с самим Санта-Клаусом и согласились, что вместо того, чтобы Санта доставлял наши подарки в ночь накануне Рождества, как он делал для любой другой семьи, которая должна была открыть свои сюрпризы первым делом Рождественское утро, наша семья даст Санте больше времени. У моїх батьків була ціла складна історія про Санта-Клауса: як вони поговорили з самим Санта-Клаусом і домовилися, що замість того, щоб Санта розносити наші подарунки в ніч напередодні Різдва, як він робив для будь-якої іншої сім’ї, яка повинна була першою розкрити свої сюрпризи Різдвяний ранок, наша сім'я приділила б Санті більше часу. Santa would come to our house while we were at nine o’clock high mass on Christmas morning, but only if all of us kids did not make a fuss. サンタがクリスマスの朝9時の高質量にいる間に私たちの家にやって来るでしょう、しかし私たち全員が子供たちが大騒ぎをしなかったときだけ。 Papai Noel viria a nossa casa enquanto estávamos às nove horas da missa na manhã de Natal, mas apenas se todos nós, crianças, não fizéssemos barulho. Дід Мороз приходив до нас додому, коли ми були на дев’ятій ранковій месі Різдва, але тільки якщо всі ми, діти, не будемо галасувати. Which made me very suspicious. これは私を非常に不審にしました。 O que me deixou muito desconfiado. It was pretty obvious that it was really our parents giving us the presents. それは本当に私たちの両親が私たちにプレゼントをくれていることはかなり明白でした。 Era bastante óbvio que realmente eram nossos pais nos dando os presentes. I mean, my dad had a very distinctive wrapping style, and my mother’s handwriting was so close to Santa’s. 私の父はとても独特の包装スタイルを持っていた、そして私の母の手書きはサンタさんのものにとても近かった。 Quero dizer, meu pai tinha um estilo de embalagem muito distinto, e a letra da minha mãe era tão próxima da do Papai Noel. Я имею в виду, что у моего отца был очень особенный стиль упаковки, и почерк моей матери был так близок к почерку Санты Я маю на увазі, що мій тато мав дуже особливий стиль упаковки, а мамин почерк був дуже схожий на почерк Діда Мороза. Plus, why would Santa save time by having to loop back to our house after he’d gone to everybody else’s? それに、サンタが他の人たちのところへ行った後に、私たちの家に戻ってループしなければならないことによってサンタが時間を節約するのはなぜでしょうか。 Além disso, por que o Papai Noel economizaria tempo tendo que voltar para a nossa casa depois que ele foi à casa de todo mundo? Плюс, почему Санта мог сэкономить время, возвращаясь к нашему дому после того, как он пошел ко всем остальным? Крім того, навіщо Діду Морозу економити час, повертаючись до нашого дому після того, як він пішов до інших? There’s only one obvious conclusion to reach from this mountain of evidence: our family was too strange and weird for even Santa Claus to come visit, and my poor parents were trying to protect us from the embarrassment, this humiliation of rejection by Santa, who was jolly. 私たちの家族は、サンタクロースでさえ訪れるには奇妙すぎて奇妙すぎて、私の貧しい両親は私たちを恥ずかしさから保護しようとしていました。陽気な。 Há apenas uma conclusão óbvia a ser alcançada a partir desta montanha de evidências: nossa família era muito estranha e estranha para o Papai Noel vir visitar, e meus pobres pais estavam tentando nos proteger do constrangimento, dessa humilhação de rejeição por Papai Noel, que estava alegre. Из этой горы доказательств можно сделать только один очевидный вывод: наша семья была слишком странной и странной, чтобы даже Санта-Клаус приходил в гости, а мои бедные родители пытались защитить нас от смущения, этого унижения отвержения Санты, весел. Є лише один очевидний висновок, який можна зробити з цієї гори доказів: наша сім’я була надто дивною та дивною, щоб навіть Санта-Клаус прийшов відвідати, і мої бідні батьки намагалися захистити нас від збентеження, цього приниження через відторгнення Санта-Клауса, який був веселий. But, let’s face it, he was also very judgmental. しかし、それに直面しましょう、彼はまた非常に判断力がありました。 Mas, convenhamos, ele também foi muito crítico. Но, давайте посмотрим правде в глаза, он также был очень осуждающим. Але, погодьтеся, він також був дуже осудливим. So, to find out that there was no Santa Claus at all was actually, sort of a relief. それで、サンタクロースがまったくなかったことを知ることは、実際には一種の安心でした。 Então, descobrir que não havia Papai Noel foi realmente um tipo de alívio. Итак, выяснить, что Деда Мороза вообще не было, было своего рода облегчением.

I left the kitchen not really in shock about Santa, but rather I was just dumbfounded about how I could have missed this whole age of reason thing. 私は本当にサンタのことにショックを受けずに台所を去ったが、むしろ私はどうして私がこの年齢の理由の事全体を見逃しているかもしれないかについてだまされていただけだった。 Eu saí da cozinha não muito chocada com o Papai Noel, mas fiquei surpresa com o fato de ter perdido toda essa coisa da razão. Я ушел с кухни не в шоке от Санты, а просто ошеломился, узнав, как мог пропустить весь этот век разума Я вийшла з кухні не дуже в шоці від Санти, а скоріше була просто приголомшена тим, як я могла пропустити всю цю епоху розуму. It was too late for me, but maybe I could help someone else, someone who could use the information. Era muito tarde para mim, mas talvez eu pudesse ajudar outra pessoa, alguém que pudesse usar as informações. They had to fit two criteria: they had to be old enough to be able to understand the whole concept of the age of reason, and not yet seven. Eles tinham que se encaixar em dois critérios: tinham que ter idade suficiente para poder entender todo o conceito da idade da razão e ainda não sete. Они должны были соответствовать двум критериям: они должны быть достаточно взрослыми, чтобы понимать всю концепцию эпохи разума, а не семь. The answer was clear: my brother Bill. A resposta foi clara: meu irmão Bill. He was six. Well, I finally found Bill about a block away from our house at this public school playground. Bem, finalmente encontrei Bill a cerca de um quarteirão de distância de nossa casa, no recreio da escola pública. It was a Saturday, and he was all by himself, just kicking a ball against the side of a wall. Era um sábado, e ele estava sozinho, apenas chutando uma bola contra o lado de uma parede. Была суббота, и он был один, просто пинал мяч в стену. I ran up to him and said, "Bill! I just realized that the age of reason starts when you turn seven, and then you’re capable of committing any and all sins against God and man." Acabei de perceber que a era da razão começa quando você completa sete anos e então é capaz de cometer todo e qualquer pecado contra Deus e o homem. " And Bill said, "So?" And then I said, "So, you’re six. You have a whole year to do anything you want to and God won’t notice it." Você tem um ano inteiro para fazer o que quiser e Deus não notará isso. " And he said, "So?" And I said, "So? So everything!" Então tudo! " Так что все! And I turned to run. E eu me virei para correr. И я повернулся, чтобы бежать. I was so angry with him. Eu estava tão bravo com ele. But when I got to the top of the steps, I turned around dramatically and said, "Oh, by the way, Bill, there is no Santa Claus." Mas quando cheguei ao topo da escada, me virei dramaticamente e disse: "Ah, a propósito, Bill, não há Papai Noel". (Laughter)

Now, I didn’t know it at the time, but I really wasn’t turning seven on September 10. Agora, eu não sabia disso na época, mas eu realmente não tinha sete anos em 10 de setembro. Так вот, я тогда этого не знал, но 10 сентября мне не исполнилось семь. For my 13th birthday, I planned a slumber party with all of my girlfriends, but a couple of weeks beforehand my mother took me aside and said, "I need to speak to you privately. No meu aniversário de 13 anos, planejei uma festa do pijama com todas as minhas amigas, mas algumas semanas antes minha mãe me chamou de lado e disse: "Eu preciso falar com você em particular. На своє 13-річчя я запланувала нічну вечірку з усіма своїми подругами, але за пару тижнів до цього мама відвела мене вбік і сказала: «Мені потрібно поговорити з тобою наодинці. September 10 is not your birthday. It’s October 10." And I said, "What?" (Laughter) And she said, "Listen. The cut-off date to start kindergarten was September 15." A data limite para iniciar o jardim de infância era 15 de setembro. " Граничним терміном для відвідування дитсадка було 15 вересня». (Laughter) "So, I told them that your birthday was on September 10, and then I wasn’t sure that you weren’t just going to go blab it all over the place, so I started to tell you your birthday was September 10. (Risos) "Então, eu disse a eles que seu aniversário era em 10 de setembro, e então não tinha certeza de que você não iria tagarelar por todo o lado, então comecei a dizer que seu aniversário era setembro 10) (Смех) «Итак, я сказал им, что ваш день рождения был 10 сентября, а потом я не был уверен, что вы не собираетесь просто пускать это повсюду, поэтому я начал говорить вам, что у вас день рождения в сентябре» 10. (Сміх) «Отже, я сказав їм, що твій день народження 10 вересня, і тоді я не був впевнений, що ти не збираєшся просто пробалакати це всюди, тому я почав казати тобі, що твій день народження вересень 10. But, Julie, you were so ready to start school, honey. Mas, Julie, você estava tão pronta para começar a escola, querida. You were so ready." I thought about it, and when I was four, I was already the oldest of four children, and my mother even had another child to come, so what I think she understandably really meant was that she was so ready, she was so ready. Pensei sobre isso e, quando eu tinha quatro anos, eu já era o mais velho de quatro filhos, e minha mãe ainda tinha outro filho por vir, então o que eu acho que ela compreensivelmente realmente queria dizer era que estava tão pronta, tão pronta. Я думал об этом, и когда мне было четыре года, я уже был старшим из четырех детей, и у моей матери даже был еще один ребенок, поэтому я думаю, что она действительно понимала, что она была так готова, она была так готова. Then she said, "Don’t worry, Julie, every year on October 10 when it was your birthday but you didn’t realize it, I made sure that you ate a piece of cake that day." Então ela disse: "Não se preocupe, Julie, todos os anos em 10 de outubro, quando era seu aniversário, mas você não percebeu, eu tinha certeza de que você comeu um pedaço de bolo naquele dia". Затем она сказала: «Не волнуйся, Джули, каждый год 10 октября, когда у тебя был день рождения, но ты не осознавал этого, я позаботился о том, чтобы ты съел кусок пирога в этот день». (Laughter) Which was comforting, but troubling. (Risos) O que foi reconfortante, mas preocupante. (Смех) Что было утешительно, но тревожно. (Сміх) Це було втішно, але тривожно. My mother had been celebrating my birthday with me, without me. What was so upsetting about this new piece of information was not that I was going to have to change the date of my slumber party with all of my girlfriends, what was most upsetting was that this meant that I was not a Virgo. Wat zo verontrustend was aan dit nieuwe stukje informatie, was niet dat ik de datum van mijn slaapfeestje met al mijn vriendinnen zou moeten veranderen, het meest verontrustende was dat dit betekende dat ik geen Maagd was. O que era tão perturbador sobre essa nova informação não era que eu teria que mudar a data da minha festa do pijama com todas as minhas amigas, o que era mais perturbador era que isso significava que eu não era uma virgem. Що так засмутило в цій новій інформації, так це не те, що мені доведеться змінити дату моєї нічної вечірки з усіма моїми подругами, а найбільше засмучувало те, що це означало, що я не Діва. I had a huge Virgo poster in my bedroom, and I read my horoscope every single day, and it was so totally me. Eu tinha um enorme pôster de Virgem no meu quarto, e eu li meu horóscopo todos os dias, e era totalmente eu. У меня в спальне был огромный плакат Девы, и я каждый день читаю свой гороскоп, и это был полностью я. У моїй спальні був величезний плакат із зображенням Діви, і я щодня читав свій гороскоп, і це була я. (Laughter) And this meant that I was a Libra? So, I took the bus downtown to get the new Libra poster. Então, peguei o ônibus para o centro da cidade para obter o novo pôster de Libra. The Virgo poster is a picture of a beautiful woman with long hair, sort of lounging by some water, but the Libra poster is just a huge scale. O pôster de Virgem é uma foto de uma mulher bonita com cabelos longos, meio que relaxando com um pouco de água, mas o pôster de Libra é apenas uma escala enorme. Плакат «Дева» - это изображение красивой женщины с длинными волосами, как бы развалившейся у воды, но плакат Весов - это просто огромный масштаб. Постер із зображенням Діви — це зображення красивої жінки з довгим волоссям, яка ніби лежить біля води, але постер із Терезами — це просто величезний масштаб. This was around the time that I started filling out physically, and I was filling out a lot more than a lot of the other girls, and, frankly, the whole idea that my astrological sign was a scale just seemed ominous and depressing. Foi nessa época que comecei a preencher fisicamente e preenchia muito mais do que muitas outras garotas e, francamente, toda a idéia de que meu signo astrológico era uma escala parecia ameaçadora e deprimente. Это было примерно в то время, когда я начал заполнять физически, и я заполнял намного больше, чем другие девушки, и, честно говоря, сама идея о том, что мой астрологический знак был шкалой, казалась зловещей и удручающей. Це було приблизно в той час, коли я почав заповнюватись фізично, і я заповнював набагато більше, ніж багато інших дівчат, і, відверто кажучи, вся думка про те, що мій астрологічний знак був шкалою, просто здавалася зловісною та гнітючою. (Laughter) But I got the new Libra poster, and I started to read my new Libra horoscope, and I was astonished to find that it was also totally me. (Risos) Mas eu recebi o novo pôster de Libra e comecei a ler meu novo horóscopo de Libra, e fiquei surpreso ao descobrir que também era totalmente eu.

It wasn’t until years later, looking back on this whole age-of-reason/change-of-birthday thing, that it dawned on me, I wasn’t turning seven when I thought I turned seven. Não foi até anos depois, olhando para toda essa história da idade da razão / mudança de aniversário, que me dei conta de que eu não tinha sete anos quando pensei que tinha sete anos. Лишь несколько лет спустя, оглядываясь назад на все это в эпоху разума / смены дня рождения, меня осенило, мне не исполнилось семь, когда я подумал, что мне исполнилось семь. Лише через багато років, озираючись на всю цю річ про вік причини/зміну дня народження, я зрозумів, що мені не виповнилося сім, коли я думав, що мені виповнилося сім. I had a whole other month to do anything I wanted to before God started keeping tabs on me. Eu tinha um mês inteiro para fazer o que quisesse antes que Deus começasse a me controlar. У меня был целый месяц, чтобы сделать все, что я хотел, прежде чем Бог начал следить за мной. У мене був ще цілий місяць, щоб зробити все, що я хотів, перш ніж Бог почав стежити за мною. Oh, life can be so cruel. One day, two Mormon missionaries came to my door. Now, I just live off a main thoroughfare in Los Angeles, and my block is -- well, it’s a natural beginning for people who are peddling things door to door. Agora, eu moro na rua principal de Los Angeles, e meu quarteirão é - bem, é um começo natural para pessoas que vendem coisas de porta em porta. Теперь, я просто живу на главной магистрали в Лос-Анджелесе, и мой квартал - ну, это естественное начало для людей, которые торгуют вещами от двери до двери. Тепер я просто живу біля головної вулиці Лос-Анджелеса, і мій квартал - ну, це природний початок для людей, які торгують речами від дверей до дверей. Sometimes I get little old ladies from the Seventh Day Adventist church showing me these cartoon pictures of heaven. Às vezes, recebo velhinhas da igreja adventista do sétimo dia, mostrando-me essas imagens dos desenhos animados do céu. Иногда я получаю маленьких старушек из церкви адвентистов седьмого дня, которые показывают мне эти мультяшные картины небес. And sometimes I get teenagers who promise me that they won’t join a gang and just start robbing people if I only buy some magazine subscriptions from them. E às vezes tenho adolescentes que me prometem que não se juntam a uma gangue e começam a roubar pessoas se eu comprar apenas algumas assinaturas de revistas. И иногда я получаю подростков, которые обещают мне, что они не присоединятся к банде и просто начнут грабить людей, если я куплю у них только подписку на журналы. І іноді я зустрічаю підлітків, які обіцяють мені, що вони не приєднаються до банди і просто почнуть грабувати людей, якщо я лише куплю в них передплату на журнали. So, normally I just ignore the doorbell, but on this day I answered. And there stood two boys, each about 19, in white starched short-sleeved shirts, and they had little name tags that identified them as official representatives of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and they said they had a message for me from God. І там стояли двоє хлопців, кожному приблизно по 19 років, у білих накрохмалених сорочках з короткими рукавами, і вони мали маленькі таблички з іменами, які ідентифікували їх як офіційних представників Церкви Ісуса Христа Святих Останніх Днів, і вони сказали, що мають повідомлення для я від Бога. I said, "A message for me? Я сказал: «Сообщение для меня? From God?" And they said, "Yes." Now, I was raised in the Pacific Northwest, around a lot of Church of Latter-day Saints people and, you know, I’ve worked with them and even dated them, but I never really knew the doctrine or what they said to people when they were out on a mission, and I guess I was, sort of, curious, so I said, "Well, please, come in." Agora, eu fui criado no noroeste do Pacífico, em torno de muitas pessoas da Igreja dos Santos dos Últimos Dias e, você sabe, eu trabalhei com eles e até namorei com eles, mas nunca conheci a doutrina ou o que eles disseram às pessoas. quando eles estavam em missão, e eu acho que fiquei curioso, então eu disse: "Bem, por favor, entre." Я вырос на тихоокеанском северо-западе, вокруг большого количества людей из Церкви Святых последних дней, и, знаете, я работал с ними и даже встречался с ними, но я никогда не знал учения или того, что они говорили людям когда они были на миссии, и я думаю, мне было немного любопытно, поэтому я сказал: «Ну, пожалуйста, входите». And they looked really happy, because I don’t think this happens to them all that often. E eles pareciam muito felizes, porque acho que isso não acontece com eles com tanta frequência. (Laughter)

And I sat them down, and I got them glasses of water -- OK, I got it. E eu os sentei e peguei copos de água - OK, entendi. I got them glasses of water. Eu peguei copos de água para eles. Я принес им стаканы с водой. Don’t touch my hair, that’s the thing. Não toque no meu cabelo, é isso. Не трогай мои волосы, вот в чем дело. (Laughter) You can’t put a video of myself in front of me and expect me not to fix my hair. (Risos) Você não pode colocar um vídeo meu na minha frente e espera que eu não arrume meu cabelo. (Смех). Вы не можете поставить мое видео передо мной и ожидать, что я не буду поправлять свои волосы. (Laughter) OK. So I sat them down and I got them glasses of water, and after niceties they said, "Do you believe that God loves you with all his heart?" Então eu os sentei e peguei copos de água, e depois de gentilezas eles disseram: "Você acredita que Deus te ama de todo o coração?" Поэтому я усадил их и принес им стаканы с водой, и после приятных мелочей они сказали: «Верите ли вы, что Бог любит вас всем своим сердцем?» And I thought, "Well, of course I believe in God, but, you know, I don’t like that word, heart, because it anthropomorphizes God, and I don’t like the word, his, either, because that sexualizes God." E pensei: "Bem, é claro que acredito em Deus, mas, você sabe, eu não gosto dessa palavra, coração, porque ela antropomorfiza Deus, e eu também não gosto da palavra dele, porque isso sexualiza Deus." И я подумал: «Ну, конечно, я верю в Бога, но, знаете, мне не нравится это слово, сердце, потому что оно антропоморфизирует Бога, и мне тоже не нравится это слово, его, потому что это сексуализирует Бог." І я подумав: «Звичайно, я вірю в Бога, але, знаєте, мені не подобається це слово «серце», тому що воно антропоморфізує Бога, і мені також не подобається його слово, тому що воно сексуалізує Бог». But I didn’t want to argue semantics with these boys, so after a very long, uncomfortable pause, I said "Yes, yes, I do. Mas eu não queria discutir semântica com esses meninos, então, depois de uma pausa muito longa e desconfortável, eu disse: "Sim, sim, sim. Но я не хотел спорить с этими ребятами о семантике, поэтому после очень долгой, неудобной паузы я сказал: «Да, да, я делаю. Але я не хотів сперечатися про семантику з цими хлопцями, тому після дуже довгої, незручної паузи я сказав: «Так, так, я хочу. I feel very loved." Eu me sinto muito amado. " And they looked at each other and smiled, like that was the right answer. E eles se entreolharam e sorriram, como se essa fosse a resposta certa. And then they said, "Do you believe that we’re all brothers and sisters on this planet?" E então eles disseram: "Você acredita que somos todos irmãos e irmãs neste planeta?" And I said, "Yes, I do. Yes, I do." And I was so relieved that it was a question I could answer so quickly. E fiquei tão aliviado que era uma pergunta que eu poderia responder tão rapidamente. And they said, "Well, then we have a story to tell you. " And they told me this story all about this guy named Lehi, who lived in Jerusalem in 600 BC. E eles me contaram essa história sobre esse cara chamado Leí, que morava em Jerusalém em 600 aC. І вони розповіли мені цю історію про хлопця на ім’я Легій, який жив в Єрусалимі в 600 році до нашої ери. Now, apparently in Jerusalem in 600 BC, everyone was completely bad and evil. Agora, aparentemente em Jerusalém, em 600 aC, todos eram completamente maus e maus. Теперь, по-видимому, в Иерусалиме в 600 году до нашей эры все были абсолютно плохими и злыми. Every single one of them: man, woman, child, infant, fetus. Cada um deles: homem, mulher, criança, bebê, feto. Каждый из них: мужчина, женщина, ребенок, младенец, плод. Кожен із них: чоловік, жінка, дитина, немовля, плід. And God came to Lehi and said to him, "Put your family on a boat and I will lead you out of here." E Deus veio a Leí e disse-lhe: "Coloque sua família em um barco e eu o levarei para fora daqui". И Бог пришёл к Легию и сказал ему: «Отправь свою семью на лодку, и я выведу тебя отсюда». And God did lead them. E Deus os liderou. И Бог вел их. He led them to America. Ele os levou para a América. I said, "America? From Jerusalem to America by boat in 600 BC?" De Jerusalém para a América de barco em 600 aC? " And they said, "Yes." (Laughter) Then they told me how Lehi and his descendants reproduced and reproduced, and over the course of 600 years there were two great races of them, the Nephites and the Lamanites, and the Nephites were totally, totally good -- each and every one of them -- and the Lamanites were totally bad and evil -- every single one of them just bad to the bone. (Risos) Então eles me contaram como Leí e seus descendentes se reproduziam e se reproduziam, e ao longo de 600 anos houve duas grandes raças deles, os nefitas e os lamanitas, e os nefitas eram totalmente, totalmente bons - todos e cada um. um deles - e os lamanitas eram totalmente maus e maus - cada um deles muito ruim até os ossos. (Смех) Затем они рассказали мне, как Легий и его потомки размножались и размножались, и в течение 600 лет их было две великие расы, Нефийцы и Ламанийцы, и Нефийцы были совершенно, абсолютно хороши - каждый и каждый один из них - и Ламанийцы были абсолютно плохими и злыми - каждый из них просто плохой до мозга костей. (Laughter)

Then, after Jesus died on the cross for our sins, on his way up to heaven he stopped by America and visited the Nephites. Depois que Jesus morreu na cruz pelos nossos pecados, no caminho para o céu, ele parou na América e visitou os nefitas. Потім, після того як Ісус помер на хресті за наші гріхи, на шляху до небес він зупинився в Америці та відвідав нефійців. (Laughter) And he told them that if they all remained totally, totally good -- each and every one of them -- they would win the war against the evil Lamanites. (Risos) E ele lhes disse que, se todos permanecessem totalmente, totalmente bons - todos e cada um deles - venceria a guerra contra os maus lamanitas. But apparently somebody blew it, because the Lamanites were able to kill all the Nephites. Mas, aparentemente, alguém estragou tudo, porque os lamanitas foram capazes de matar todos os nefitas. Но, видимо, кто-то это испортил, потому что Ламанийцы смогли убить всех Нефийцев. Але, очевидно, хтось зіпсував це, тому що ламанійці змогли вбити всіх нефійців. All but one guy, this guy named Mormon, who managed to survive by hiding in the woods. Com exceção de um cara, esse cara chamado Mórmon, que conseguiu sobreviver escondido na floresta. Все, кроме одного парня, этого парня по имени Мормон, которому удалось выжить, спрятавшись в лесу. Усі, крім одного хлопця, цього хлопця на ім’я Мормон, якому вдалося вижити, сховавшись у лісі. And he made sure this whole story was written down in reformed Egyptian hieroglyphics chiseled onto gold plates, which he then buried near Palmyra, New York. E ele garantiu que toda essa história fosse escrita em hieróglifos egípcios reformados esculpidos em placas de ouro, que ele então enterrou perto de Palmyra, Nova York. И он удостоверился, что вся эта история была записана в реформированных египетских иероглифах, высеченных на золотых пластинах, которые он затем похоронил возле Пальмиры, Нью-Йорк. І він переконався, що вся ця історія була записана реформованими єгипетськими ієрогліфами, висіченими на золотих пластинах, які він потім поховав біля Пальміри, Нью-Йорк. (Laughter) Well, I was just on the edge of my seat. (Risos) Bem, eu estava na beira do meu assento. (Смех) Ну, я был на краю своего места. (Laughter) I said, "What happened to the Lamanites?" (Risos) Eu disse: "O que aconteceu com os lamanitas?" And they said, "Well, they became our Native Americans here in the US." E eles disseram: "Bem, eles se tornaram nossos nativos americanos aqui nos EUA". And I said, "So, you believe the Native Americans are descended from a people who were totally evil?" E eu disse: "Então, você acredita que os nativos americanos são descendentes de um povo que era totalmente mau?" І я сказав: «Отже, ви вірите, що корінні американці походять від людей, які були абсолютно злими?» And they said, "Yes." Then they told me how this guy named Joseph Smith found those buried gold plates right in his backyard, and he also found this magic stone back there that he put into his hat and then buried his face into, and this allowed him to translate the gold plates from the reformed Egyptian into English. Então eles me contaram como esse cara chamado Joseph Smith encontrou aquelas placas de ouro enterradas bem no quintal dele, e ele também encontrou essa pedra mágica ali que ele colocou no chapéu e depois enterrou o rosto, e isso lhe permitiu traduzir o ouro placas do egípcio reformado para o inglês. Затем они рассказали мне, как этот парень по имени Джозеф Смит нашел эти захороненные золотые листы прямо на своем заднем дворе, и он также нашел там этот волшебный камень, который он положил в свою шляпу, а затем уткнулся лицом в него, и это позволило ему перевести золото таблички с реформированного египетского на английский.

Well, at this point I just wanted to give these two boys some advice about their pitch. Bem, neste momento, eu só queria dar alguns conselhos a esses dois garotos sobre o tom deles. Ну, на цьому етапі я просто хотів дати цим двом хлопцям пораду щодо їхнього виступу. (Laughter) I wanted to say, "OK, don’t start with this story." (Risos) Eu queria dizer: "OK, não comece com esta história." (Смех). Я хотел сказать: «Хорошо, не начинай с этой истории». I mean, even the Scientologists know to start with a personality test before they start -- (Applause) -- telling people all about Xenu, the evil intergalactic overlord. Quero dizer, até os cientologistas sabem começar com um teste de personalidade antes de começarem (Aplausos) - contar às pessoas tudo sobre Xenu, o mau senhor intergaláctico. Я имею в виду, что даже саентологи знают, что нужно начинать с проверки личности, прежде чем они начнут - (Аплодисменты) - рассказывать людям все о Ксену, злобном межгалактическом повелителе. Я маю на увазі, що навіть саєнтологи знають, що потрібно починати з тесту особистості, перш ніж почати -- (Оплески) -- розповідати людям все про Ксену, злого міжгалактичного володаря. Well, then they said, "Do you believe that God speaks to us through his righteous prophets?" Bem, então eles disseram: "Você acredita que Deus nos fala através de seus justos profetas?" And I said, "No, I don’t." Because I was, sort of, upset about this Lamanite story and this crazy gold plate story, but the truth was, I hadn’t really thought this through, so I backpedaled a little and I said, "Well, what exactly do you mean by righteous? Porque eu estava meio que chateada com essa história lamanita e essa louca história da placa de ouro, mas a verdade era que eu realmente não tinha pensado nisso, então eu recuei um pouco e disse: "Bem, o que exatamente você quer dizer por justos? Потому что я был в некотором роде расстроен этой историей о Ламании и этой безумной историей о золотой тарелке, но правда была в том, что я на самом деле не продумал это, поэтому я немного отступил и сказал: «Ну, что именно вы имеете в виду праведным? Тому що я був начебто засмучений цією історією про ламанійців і цією божевільною історією із золотими пластинами, але правда була в тому, що я не дуже про це думав, тому я трохи відступив і сказав: «Ну, що саме ти маєш на увазі від праведного? And what do you mean by prophets? E o que você quer dizer com profetas? Like, could the prophets be women?" Como, os profetas poderiam ser mulheres? " And they said, "No." E eles disseram: "Não". And I said, "Why?" And they said, "Well, it’s because God gave women a gift that is so spectacular, it is so wonderful, that the only gift he had left over to give men was the gift of prophecy." E eles disseram: "Bem, é porque Deus deu às mulheres um presente tão espetacular, tão maravilhoso, que o único presente que ele havia deixado para dar aos homens era o dom de profecia". И они сказали: «Ну, это потому, что Бог дал женщинам такой потрясающий дар, он настолько прекрасен, что единственным подарком, который он оставил мужчинам, был дар пророчества». І вони сказали: «Ну, це тому, що Бог дав жінкам дар, який є таким вражаючим, таким чудовим, що єдиним даром, який Він залишив для чоловіків, був дар пророцтва». What is this wonderful gift God gave women, I wondered? Qual é esse presente maravilhoso que Deus deu às mulheres, pensei? Maybe their greater ability to cooperate and adapt? Talvez sua maior capacidade de cooperar e se adaptar? Women’s longer lifespan? Vida útil mais longa das mulheres? Довша тривалість життя жінок? The fact that women tend to be much less violent than men? O fato de que as mulheres tendem a ser muito menos violentas que os homens? В том, что женщины, как правило, менее агрессивны, чем мужчины? But, no, it wasn’t any of these gifts. Mas não, não era nenhum desses presentes. They said, "Well, it’s her ability to bear children." Eles disseram: "Bem, é a capacidade dela de gerar filhos". I said, "Oh, come on. Eu disse: "Oh, vamos lá. I mean, even if women tried to have a baby every single year from the time they were 15 to the time they were 45, assuming they didn’t die from exhaustion, it still seems like some women would have some time left over to hear the word of God." Quero dizer, mesmo que as mulheres tentassem ter um bebê todos os anos, desde os 15 anos até os 45, assumindo que não morreram de exaustão, ainda parece que algumas mulheres teriam algum tempo sobrando para ouvir a palavra de Deus." Я имею в виду, что даже если бы женщины пытались завести ребенка каждый год с 15-летнего возраста до 45-летнего, предполагая, что они не умирают от истощения, у некоторых женщин все еще остается время, чтобы услышать Слово Божие ". And they said, "No." (Laughter)

Well, then they didn’t look so fresh-faced and cute to me any more, but they had more to say. Bem, então eles não pareciam mais tão bonitos e bonitos para mim, mas tinham mais a dizer. Ну, тогда они больше не выглядели такими свежими и милыми для меня, но им было что сказать. They said, "Well, we also believe that if you’re a Mormon and if you’re in good standing with the church, when you die you get to go to heaven and be with your family for all eternity." Eles disseram: "Bem, também acreditamos que se você é um mórmon e está em boa posição com a igreja, quando morre, você vai para o céu e fica com sua família por toda a eternidade". Они сказали: «Ну, мы также верим, что если вы мормон и если вы хорошо относитесь к церкви, когда вы умрете, вы попадете на небеса и будете со своей семьей на всю вечность». And I said, "Oh, dear -- (Laughter) -- that wouldn’t be such a good incentive for me." E eu disse: "Oh, querida - (risos) - isso não seria um incentivo tão bom para mim". І я сказав: "О, боже... (Сміх) - це не був би добрим стимулом для мене". (Laughter) And they said, "Oh -- hey, well, we also believe that when you go to heaven you get your body restored to you in its best original state. (Risos) E eles disseram: "Oh - ei, bem, também acreditamos que quando você vai para o céu, seu corpo é restaurado em seu melhor estado original. (Смех) И они сказали: «О, эй, хорошо, мы также верим, что когда вы попадете на небеса, вы восстановите свое тело в своем лучшем первоначальном состоянии. Like, if you’d lost a leg, well, you get it back. Tipo, se você perdeu uma perna, bem, recupera-a. Or, if you’d gone blind, you could see." I said, "Oh -- now, I don’t have a uterus because I had cancer a few years ago. So, does this mean that if I went to heaven I would get my old uterus back?" Então, isso significa que, se eu fosse para o céu, recuperaria meu velho útero? " Отже, чи означає це, що якби я потрапив на небо, я поверну собі свою стару матку?» And they said, "Sure." And I said, "I don’t want it back. E eu disse: "Eu não quero de volta. I’m happy without it." Gosh. Poxa. What if you had a nose job and you liked it? E se você tivesse uma plástica no nariz e gostasse? Что делать, если у вас была работа на носу, и она вам понравилась? А якби ви зробили операцію на носі і вам це сподобалося? (Laughter) Would God force you to get your old nose back? (Risos) Deus o obrigaria a recuperar seu nariz velho? (Смех). Бог заставит тебя вернуть твой старый нос? Well, then they gave me this Book of Mormon. and they told me to read this chapter and that chapter, and they said they’d come back some day and check in on me, and I think I said something like, "Please don’t hurry," or maybe it was just, "Please don’t," and they were gone. e eles me disseram para ler este capítulo e aquele capítulo, e disseram que voltariam algum dia e me examinariam, e acho que disse algo como "Por favor, não se apresse", ou talvez fosse apenas, "Por favor, não", e eles se foram. и они сказали мне прочитать эту главу и эту главу, и они сказали, что когда-нибудь вернутся и проверят меня, и я думаю, что сказал что-то вроде: «Пожалуйста, не торопись», или, может быть, это было просто, «Пожалуйста, не надо», и они ушли. OK, so, I initially felt really superior to these boys, and smug in my more conventional faith. OK, então, inicialmente me senti realmente superior a esses meninos e presunçoso em minha fé mais convencional. Итак, я изначально чувствовал себя действительно превосходящим этих мальчиков и самодовольным в своей более обычной вере. Гаразд, отже, спочатку я почувався справді вищим за цих хлопців і самовдоволено своєю традиційною вірою. But then, the more I thought about it, the more I had to be honest with myself. If someone came to my door and I was hearing Catholic theology and dogma for the very first time, and they said, "We believe that God impregnated a very young girl without the use of intercourse, and the fact that she was a virgin is maniacally important to us -- (Laughter) -- and she had a baby, and that’s the son of God," I mean, I would think that’s equally ridiculous. Se alguém chegasse à minha porta e eu estivesse ouvindo teologia e dogma católico pela primeira vez, e eles dissessem: "Acreditamos que Deus engravidou uma menina muito jovem sem o uso de relações sexuais, e o fato de ela ser virgem é maníaco. importante para nós - (risos) - e ela teve um bebê, e esse é o filho de Deus ", quero dizer, eu pensaria que isso é igualmente ridículo. Если кто-то подошел ко мне, и я впервые услышал католическое богословие и догму, и они сказали: «Мы верим, что Бог пропитал очень молодую девушку без сношения, и тот факт, что она была девственницей, маниакально важно для нас - (Смех) - и у нее был ребенок, и это сын Божий. Якби хтось підійшов до моїх дверей і я вперше почув католицьку теологію та догматику, і вони сказали: «Ми віримо, що Бог запліднив дуже молоду дівчину без використання статевого акту, і той факт, що вона була незайманою, є маніакальним це важливо для нас -- (Сміх) -- і вона народила дитину, і це син Божий, я маю на увазі, я вважаю, що це так само смішно. I’m just so used to that story. Я просто так привык к этой истории. (Laughter) So, I couldn’t let myself feel condescending towards these boys. (Risos) Então, eu não podia me deixar condescender com esses meninos. (Смех) Итак, я не мог позволить себе чувствовать снисходительность по отношению к этим мальчикам. (Сміх) Тому я не міг дозволити собі поблажливо ставитися до цих хлопців.

But the question they asked me when they first arrived really stuck in my head: Did I believe that God loved me with all his heart? Mas a pergunta que eles me fizeram quando chegaram realmente ficou na minha cabeça: eu acreditava que Deus me amava de todo o coração? Because I wasn’t exactly sure how I felt about that question. Porque eu não tinha muita certeza de como me sentia sobre essa pergunta. Now, if they’d asked me, Do you feel that God loves you with all his heart? Well, that would have been much different, I think I would have instantly answered, "Yes, yes, I feel it all the time. Bem, isso teria sido muito diferente, acho que teria respondido instantaneamente: "Sim, sim, sinto isso o tempo todo. I feel God’s love when I’m hurt and confused, and I feel consoled and cared for. Sinto o amor de Deus quando estou magoado e confuso, e me sinto consolado e cuidado. Я відчуваю Божу любов, коли мені боляче та збентежено, і я відчуваю розраду та турботу. I take shelter in God’s love when I don’t understand why tragedy hits, and I feel God’s love when I look with gratitude at all the beauty I see." Eu me refugio no amor de Deus quando não entendo por que a tragédia ocorre, e sinto o amor de Deus quando olho com gratidão toda a beleza que vejo ". But since they asked me that question with the word believe in it, somehow it was all different, because I wasn’t exactly sure if I believed what I so clearly felt. Mas desde que eles me fizeram essa pergunta com a palavra acreditar nela, de alguma forma era tudo diferente, porque eu não tinha exatamente certeza se acreditava no que sentia tão claramente.

http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/lang/eng/julia_sweeney_on_letting_go_of_god.html