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Big Think, Are Our Smartphones Trapping Us in Anti-Social Bubbles?

Are Our Smartphones Trapping Us in Anti-Social Bubbles?

Solitude is a big part of my story about reclaiming conversation. And some people will say, "Well why is that? I mean solitude, conversation?" Reclaiming conversation begins in solitude and here's why. You need to be able to gather yourself to yourself and have a capacity for solitude before you can turn to someone else and really hear what they have to say. Because if not, if you don't have a capacity for solitude, you turn to someone else and you're projecting onto them who you need them to be for you and you can't hear who they really are. And instinctively, we shun people like that.

Technically they're narcissistic personalities, but we don't need to know their technical name. We just know we're uncomfortable about them because they're not giving us a chance to be us. They're making us be who they need us to be. And so a capacity for solitude is really the first step in a capacity for relationship. And so solitude and the capacity for relationship, solitude and a capacity for conversation — these go together.

Now solitude is one of the things that constantly going to your phone is taking away from us. There's a study, a dramatic study — I was going to make a bad pun and say a stunning study; I think in Reclaiming Conversation I actually made this pun unintentionally and now I feel I have to apologize for it — where college students are asked to just sit in a chair, the way I'm sitting in a chair, without a book and without a device. And they're told that they're going to be asked to do that for six to 15 minutes and when the study begins they're asked, "Do you think you'll want to give yourself electroshocks during this time?" And like they say, "Absolutely not. No." After six minutes, they're giving themselves electroshocks rather than sit quietly with their own thoughts. In our culture, so used to being able to go to a device, we treat being alone as a problem that needs to be solved and we want to solve it with technology and we do solve it with technology. And when people say to me, "Oh there's nothing new under the sun; we've always had books; we've always had television; we've always had something, something, something; you know, isn't this just the same old same old?" I say, "You know what? No. No, actually not." We've never had a device that could turn us away from other people just by going like this and all of a sudden you're in your own private space with a world of other people on your phone. And we've never had a device where you could be taking a walk in the woods and you didn't need to be taking a walk in the woods. And this is a new challenge for us to recognize how much we need solitude and to reclaim it so that we can reclaim conversation.

Are Our Smartphones Trapping Us in Anti-Social Bubbles? Halten uns unsere Smartphones in antisozialen Blasen gefangen? ¿Nuestros teléfonos inteligentes nos atrapan en burbujas antisociales? Nos smartphones nous enferment-ils dans des bulles antisociales ? I nostri smartphone ci stanno intrappolando in bolle antisociali? スマートフォンは私たちを反社会的バブルに陥れるか? 스마트폰이 우리를 반사회적 거품에 가두는 것은 아닐까요? Ar mūsų išmanieji telefonai įkalina mus antisocialiniuose burbuluose? Worden we door onze smartphones gevangen in antisociale bubbels? Czy nasze smartfony zamykają nas w antyspołecznych bańkach? Os nossos smartphones estão a prender-nos em bolhas anti-sociais? Затягивают ли нас смартфоны в антисоциальные "пузыри"? Akıllı Telefonlarımız Bizi Anti-Sosyal Baloncuklara mı Hapsediyor? Наші смартфони затягують нас в антисоціальні бульбашки? 我们的智能手机是否让我们陷入反社交泡沫?

Solitude is a big part of my story about reclaiming conversation. La solitudine è una parte importante della mia storia di recupero della conversazione. A solidão é uma grande parte da minha história sobre a recuperação da conversação. Одиночество - важная часть моей истории о том, как вернуть себе общение. And some people will say, "Well why is that? E algumas pessoas dirão: "Mas porquê? И некоторые люди скажут: "Ну почему же? I mean solitude, conversation?" Intendo dire solitudine, conversazione?". Estou a falar de solidão, de conversa?" Я имею в виду уединение, беседу?" Reclaiming conversation begins in solitude and here's why. Il recupero della conversazione inizia nella solitudine ed ecco perché. A recuperação da conversa começa na solidão e eis porquê. Восстановление общения начинается в одиночестве, и вот почему. You need to be able to gather yourself to yourself and have a capacity for solitude before you can turn to someone else and really hear what they have to say. È necessario essere in grado di raccogliersi in se stessi e avere una capacità di solitudine prima di potersi rivolgere a qualcun altro e ascoltare davvero ciò che ha da dire. É preciso ser capaz de se recolher a si próprio e ter uma capacidade de solidão antes de se poder dirigir a outra pessoa e ouvir realmente o que ela tem para dizer. Прежде чем обратиться к кому-то другому и по-настоящему услышать, что он хочет сказать, вам необходимо собраться с мыслями и уединиться. Because if not, if you don't have a capacity for solitude, you turn to someone else and you're projecting onto them who you need them to be for you and you can't hear who they really are. Porque se não, se não tivermos capacidade para a solidão, voltamo-nos para outra pessoa e projectamos nela quem precisamos que ela seja para nós e não conseguimos ouvir quem ela é realmente. Потому что если нет, если у вас нет способности к одиночеству, вы обращаетесь к кому-то другому и проецируете на него то, кем он должен быть для вас, и не слышите, кто он на самом деле. And instinctively, we shun people like that. E, instintivamente, afastamo-nos de pessoas assim. И инстинктивно мы сторонимся таких людей.

Technically they're narcissistic personalities, but we don't need to know their technical name. Tecnicamente, são personalidades narcisistas, mas não precisamos de saber o seu nome técnico. Технически это нарциссические личности, но нам не нужно знать их техническое название. We just know we're uncomfortable about them because they're not giving us a chance to be us. Sabemos apenas que nos sentimos desconfortáveis com eles porque não nos dão a oportunidade de sermos nós próprios. Мы просто знаем, что нам некомфортно с ними, потому что они не дают нам шанса быть собой. They're making us be who they need us to be. Estão a obrigar-nos a ser quem eles precisam que sejamos. Они заставляют нас быть теми, кто им нужен. And so a capacity for solitude is really the first step in a capacity for relationship. E assim, a capacidade de solidão é, de facto, o primeiro passo para a capacidade de relacionamento. И поэтому способность к одиночеству - это первый шаг к способности к отношениям. And so solitude and the capacity for relationship, solitude and a capacity for conversation — these go together. Assim, a solidão e a capacidade de relacionamento, a solidão e a capacidade de conversação - andam juntas. Поэтому уединение и способность к отношениям, уединение и способность к разговору - все это идет вместе.

Now solitude is one of the things that constantly going to your phone is taking away from us. A solidão é uma das coisas que a constante utilização do telemóvel nos está a tirar. Уединение - это одна из тех вещей, которых нас лишает постоянное общение с телефоном. There's a study, a dramatic study — I was going to make a bad pun and say a stunning study; I think in Reclaiming Conversation I actually made this pun unintentionally and now I feel I have to apologize for it — where college students are asked to just sit in a chair, the way I'm sitting in a chair, without a book and without a device. Há um estudo, um estudo dramático - ia fazer um mau trocadilho e dizer um estudo impressionante; penso que em Reclaiming Conversation fiz este trocadilho sem intenção e agora sinto que tenho de pedir desculpa por isso - em que se pede aos estudantes universitários que se sentem numa cadeira, tal como eu me sento numa cadeira, sem um livro e sem um dispositivo. Есть исследование, драматическое исследование - я собирался сделать неудачный каламбур и сказать "потрясающее исследование"; думаю, в книге Reclaiming Conversation я сделал этот каламбур непреднамеренно, и теперь мне кажется, что я должен извиниться за него, - в котором студентов колледжа просят просто сесть на стул, так, как я сижу на стуле, без книги и без устройства. And they're told that they're going to be asked to do that for six to 15 minutes and when the study begins they're asked, "Do you think you'll want to give yourself electroshocks during this time?" É-lhes dito que vão ser convidados a fazer isso durante seis a 15 minutos e, quando o estudo começa, é-lhes perguntado: "Acha que vai querer dar choques eléctricos a si próprio durante este tempo?" Им сказали, что их будут просить делать это в течение 6-15 минут, а когда начнется исследование, их спросят: "Как вы думаете, захотите ли вы в это время делать себе электрошок?". And like they say, "Absolutely not. E, como se costuma dizer, "De maneira nenhuma. И, как говорится, "ни в коем случае". No." Não." After six minutes, they're giving themselves electroshocks rather than sit quietly with their own thoughts. Ao fim de seis minutos, estão a dar choques eléctricos a si próprios em vez de se sentarem calmamente com os seus próprios pensamentos. Через шесть минут они уже дают себе электрошок, вместо того чтобы спокойно посидеть с собственными мыслями. In our culture, so used to being able to go to a device, we treat being alone as a problem that needs to be solved and we want to solve it with technology and we do solve it with technology. Na nossa cultura, tão habituada a poder recorrer a um dispositivo, tratamos o facto de estarmos sozinhos como um problema que precisa de ser resolvido e queremos resolvê-lo com a tecnologia, e resolvemos mesmo com a tecnologia. В нашей культуре, привыкшей к возможности обратиться к устройству, мы относимся к одиночеству как к проблеме, которую нужно решить, и мы хотим решить ее с помощью технологий, и мы действительно решаем ее с помощью технологий. And when people say to me, "Oh there's nothing new under the sun; we've always had books; we've always had television; we've always had something, something, something; you know, isn't this just the same old same old?" E quando as pessoas me dizem: "Oh, não há nada de novo debaixo do sol; sempre tivemos livros; sempre tivemos televisão; sempre tivemos qualquer coisa, qualquer coisa, qualquer coisa; sabe, isto não é apenas o mesmo velho, o mesmo velho?" И когда люди говорят мне: "О, нет ничего нового под солнцем; у нас всегда были книги; у нас всегда было телевидение; у нас всегда было что-то, что-то, что-то; знаете, разве это не то же самое старое, то же самое старое?" I say, "You know what? Eu digo: "Sabes que mais? Я говорю: "Знаете что? No. Não. No, actually not." Não, na verdade não. Нет, вообще-то нет". We've never had a device that could turn us away from other people just by going like this and all of a sudden you're in your own private space with a world of other people on your phone. Nunca tivemos um dispositivo capaz de nos afastar das outras pessoas, basta fazer isto e, de repente, estamos no nosso próprio espaço privado com um mundo de outras pessoas no nosso telemóvel. У нас никогда не было устройства, которое могло бы отгородить нас от других людей: просто идешь и вдруг оказываешься в своем личном пространстве с миром других людей в телефоне. And we've never had a device where you could be taking a walk in the woods and you didn't need to be taking a walk in the woods. E nunca tivemos um dispositivo que nos permitisse dar um passeio no bosque e não precisássemos de o fazer. И у нас никогда не было устройства, с которым можно было бы прогуляться по лесу, и при этом не было бы необходимости в прогулке по лесу. And this is a new challenge for us to recognize how much we need solitude and to reclaim it so that we can reclaim conversation. E este é um novo desafio para reconhecermos o quanto precisamos de solidão e para a reclamarmos para que possamos recuperar a conversação. И это новый вызов для нас - осознать, как сильно мы нуждаемся в одиночестве, и вернуть его себе, чтобы мы могли вернуть себе общение.