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Weird Short Stories by a Weird Canadian, The Story of Carlos and the Depressingly Ugly Green Bedsheets

The Story of Carlos and the Depressingly Ugly Green Bedsheets

This story begins at 7:42 on a not particularly noteworthy day. This is rather convenient, because it was at exactly 7:42 that Carlos got up every day, as he was somewhat neurotic. On this particular day, he woke up alone in his cold, lonely apartment, just like any other day. "My bedsheets are a very ugly shade of green," he thought, but he had to eat breakfast at exactly 7:51, so he proceeded immediately to the kitchen. For this breakfast, Carlos prepared his favourite breakfast: a single, uncooked fish. This was not only his favourite breakfast, but also his only breakfast. His large, awkward hands were too large and awkward to properly hold the fish. "Wie schade," he would have thought, if he could speak German, but he couldn't, so he simply thought, "What a shame." Sometimes he liked to stand in the street and hold a broom. Some people might have thought that he was cleaning, but when they asked him, "What are you doing there?" he would simply answer, "I'm standing in the street and holding a broom." At this point, they would usually leave. Sometimes, because they were red and red was his fourth favourite colour, he would bring his bucket and dustpan with him. On this day he did exactly that. He had so much fun standing in the street holding a broom that he almost forgot that his bedsheets were a very ugly shade of green, but he indeed remembered it and quickly fell into depression. Because he was depressed, Carlos decided to go shopping. He liked to watch the janitors, because they often held brooms. On this day, he was depressed, so he bought multiple bottles of alcohol. Some people might have thought, "This is definitely enough alcohol," but not Carlos, as the ugly green shade of his bedsheets was unbelievably depressing. As he was heading home, he had an accident. He fell off his bike, because he didn't actually know how to ride a bike, and he was also somewhat intoxicated. He tried to call his mother, but he didn't know her number. He noticed that one of the bottles of alcohol wasn't broken, so he drank it and had a pretty good night, because he didn't have to sleep in his bed with the bedsheets with the ugly green colour.


The Story of Carlos and the Depressingly Ugly Green Bedsheets La historia de Carlos y las sábanas verdes deprimentemente feas

This story begins at 7:42 on a not particularly noteworthy day. This is rather convenient, because it was at exactly 7:42 that Carlos got up every day, as he was somewhat neurotic. On this particular day, he woke up alone in his cold, lonely apartment, just like any other day. "My bedsheets are a very ugly shade of green," he thought, but he had to eat breakfast at exactly 7:51, so he proceeded immediately to the kitchen. For this breakfast, Carlos prepared his favourite breakfast: a single, uncooked fish. This was not only his favourite breakfast, but also his only breakfast. His large, awkward hands were too large and awkward to properly hold the fish. "Wie schade," he would have thought, if he could speak German, but he couldn't, so he simply thought, "What a shame." Sometimes he liked to stand in the street and hold a broom. Some people might have thought that he was cleaning, but when they asked him, "What are you doing there?" he would simply answer, "I'm standing in the street and holding a broom." At this point, they would usually leave. Sometimes, because they were red and red was his fourth favourite colour, he would bring his bucket and dustpan with him. On this day he did exactly that. He had so much fun standing in the street holding a broom that he almost forgot that his bedsheets were a very ugly shade of green, but he indeed remembered it and quickly fell into depression. Because he was depressed, Carlos decided to go shopping. He liked to watch the janitors, because they often held brooms. On this day, he was depressed, so he bought multiple bottles of alcohol. Some people might have thought, "This is definitely enough alcohol," but not Carlos, as the ugly green shade of his bedsheets was unbelievably depressing. As he was heading home, he had an accident. He fell off his bike, because he didn't actually know how to ride a bike, and he was also somewhat intoxicated. He tried to call his mother, but he didn't know her number. He noticed that one of the bottles of alcohol wasn't broken, so he drank it and had a pretty good night, because he didn't have to sleep in his bed with the bedsheets with the ugly green colour.