(3659) Choices that can Change your Life | Caroline Myss | TEDxFindhornSalon - YouTube (2)

You will hit the regret stage in which you visit the life you wish you had lived.

Even if you just have a cold.

And one of the regrets that happens

when all of us begin to diminish in our strength and stamina

is we review the life we should have had, had we taken risks,

had we not lived a life in which the way we make our decisions

was based on the fear of being humiliated.

'What if I'm humiliated by this?'

'What if I can't take the consequences of it?'

'What if I'm too frightened?'

'What if I'm alone?'

'What if this costs me too much money?'

Well, what if?

And to this I would say, go home

and ask yourself 'How many of my greatest fears have actually really happened?

How many have actually really happened?

How many of my greatest fears have really happened?'

and then, actually calculate, write down

how many of the most wonderful things that have happened to me

did I actually have anything to do with?

And probably... two.

I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt there.

Because if you look, and add,

most of the best things that ever happened to you,

you didn't have anything to do with.

And if you think, "How did this happen?"

Probably through a lot of things that you know nothing about

that were actually very risky and you didn't even know that.

Don't take the safe path.

Don't tell yourself that because-

When you are making decisions about what to do,

don't look backwards for guidance,

because there's nothing 'back there.'

The reason you are where you are is because that part of your life is over.

Don't look for 'over' to chart 'new.'

Don't go there.

When it's time to make a decision about 'I don't know what to do next,'

do not go to who you were, what you did,

because it will pull you back,

perhaps even to places that don't exist anymore,

to images of yourself that are no more.

You are not that person.

And one of the ways to weaken you

is that it causes you to long for things that are no longer appropriate,

and they're not in the field yet to come.

What builds vitality,

what builds the desire to live your life fully and be present

is for you to say, 'It's time for something new.'

Be in the newness, not afraid of it.

Be in that newness.

Be there.

Next:

Choose new words.

I love this.

I love this one.

When I was growing up- I'm a wordsmith.

I'm a writer, I'm a wordsmith,

but I absolutely adore words.

I actually went to bed reading the dictionary.

Because every word is a universe unto itself,

every single word, and in my workshops,

sometimes if it's appropriate, I tell people, "What I want you to do

is come back tomorrow with three words you're going to give me

- no, make it one -

that you will never use again.

Just one, I just want one word,

and you will never use it again.

Never.

And I get to have everything that comes with that word.

Everything.

And I don't care if the word's two letters, three, four,

I just want one word."

So imagine if you decided, "Okay, I'll give you the word 'bug.'"

"I'll give you the word... 'blue,'" and you'll never see 'blue' again.

Now, I really, really want you to go home sometime,

in the next couple of days, after you hear this talk,

and think about if you really had to yank a word out of your head,

which meant you had to take the whole world

that went with that word out of your head,

what would you give that person, what word?

Zebra?

You'd never see a zebra again.

You really want to give up seeing that animal?

Okay, and everything that went with that.

Now,

when someone says your thoughts and your words are not powerful,

go to that exercise and come in through that door,

and then construct the words that you say to another person,

word by word.

And how powerful every single word is,

not only that you say to another person, but that you say to yourself.

What are the words you say to yourself?

Words that you should never utter again to yourself.

Words that you should never, ever use.

Words that you should say, 'What is that word doing in my head?'

When we finally do quantum energy medicine,

micro energy medicine,

we will finally do energy analysis

at a level that includes the power of the vocabulary that we use.

And we will be able to say to people: Your vocabulary is so toxic,

that the vibration of your neurology includes thoughts,

includes frequencies,

that are so toxic, that even if you do visualization,

it is offset by a vocabulary

that is organically so negative,

I don't care what your visualization is,

your vocabulary is fundamentally hostile,

it is hostile.

If I had to rate your vocabulary,

it is fundamentally a hostile one toward everything you see,

toward everyone, and toward yourself.

You get up in the morning and you are hostile.

Your first thoughts are angry.

You see your life as not enough.

You see others as not enough.

Your first reaction to everything is critical.

Your first reaction is "This is not good enough."

"They're not good enough."

And you hold as two words, power words: blame and deserve.

"I blame them."

"And I deserve this."

And you feel entitled.

Three words that are lethal: entitled, blame, and deserve.

And if you could extricate those three words from your head,

you have no idea how much better you would feel.

If you never use those three words again,

I will tell you right now your depressions would be much less,

because you're not entitled to anything.

Blaming others, blaming anything will take you out of your present,

and it will absolutely put such toxic perceptions in you.

And you realize all you have to think about

is who's blaming you for something.

And just picture how many people are blaming you,

and how would you like to dwell in that thought.

Because if you're blaming others, I assure you someone's blaming you.

Someone's in therapy because they know you.

(Laughter)

So stop looking at the world through your eyes.

Finally, make this choice.

Choose to get up every day and bless your day.

Choose to get up every single day and bless your day.

And say, I have no idea what's going to be in my day but it is blessed.

Why? Because I am alive.

And don't base your gratitude for your life on what you have,

or how you feel,

but just because you are.

Just because you are!

Just because you are.

And then hold in your heart this prayer:

This day of my life will never come again.

I will never see the people I am looking at again.

I will never see this sunrise again, and I will never see that sunset.

I will never see the person having breakfast with me again

just this way.

No, nothing in my life like this will ever come again.

That alone, that choice alone

should take out of your heart every bitter taste there is.

That it should shape the life around you with such grace and such beauty,

that it would make you only want to see the present

with great gratitude and love.

Thank you everybody.

(Applause)