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TED, Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame (1)

Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame (1)

You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade.Obviously, that's changed, but only recently.

0:22 It was several months ago that I gave my very first major public talk at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30.That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest, just four. I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs.Yes, I'm in rap songs. Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)

0:57 But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened. At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy. I know, right? He was charming and I was flattered, and I declined. You know what his unsuccessful pick up line was? He could make me feel 22 again. (Laughter) (Applause)

I realized later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again. (Laughter) (Applause) 1:46 At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss, and at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences. 1:58 Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep. That's what I thought. So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss.Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn't the president of the United States of America. Of course, life is full of surprises.

2:35 Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply.

2:44 In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. Remember, just a few years earlier, news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio, or watching television. That was it. But that wasn't my fate.Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution.That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere, and when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online. It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the Internet for a major news story, a click that reverberated around the world.

3:51 What that meant for me personally was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously.

4:14 This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and, of course, email cruel jokes. News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV. Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret?

4:52 Now, I admit I made mistakes, especially wearing that beret. But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented. I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and, of course, that woman. I was seen by many but actually known by few. And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul, and was once unbroken.

5:40 When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it. Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment. Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others.

6:09 In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity. I lost almost everything, and I almost lost my life.

6:23 Let me paint a picture for you. It is September of 1998. I'm sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel underneath humming fluorescent lights. I'm listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. I'm here because I've been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation.For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head. I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day; listen as I confess my love for the president, and, of course, my heartbreak; listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self-being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth; listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself, a self I don't even recognize.

7:55 A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress, and all of those tapes and transcripts, those stolen words, form a part of it. That people can read the transcripts is horrific enough, but a few weeks later, the audiotapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online. The public humiliation was excruciating. Life was almost unbearable.

8:31 This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998, and by this, I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions, conversations or photos, and then making them public --public without consent, public without context, and public without compassion.

8:57 Fast forward 12 years to 2010, and now social media has been born.The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually make a mistake, and now it's for both public and private people. The consequences for some have become dire, very dire.

9:24 I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi. Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man. When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited. A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death. He was 18.

10:06 My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with pain in a way that I just couldn't quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death, literally.

10:47 Today, too many parents haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones.Too many have learned of their child's suffering and humiliation after it was too late. Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me. It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different. In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology called the Internet would take us. Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways, joining lost siblings, saving lives, launching revolutions, but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced had mushroomed. Every day online, people, especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this, are so abused and humiliated that they can't imagine living to the next day, and some, tragically, don't, and there's nothing virtual about that. Child Line, a UK. nonprofit that's focused on helping young people on various issues, released a staggering statistic late last year: From 2012 to 2013, there was an 87 percent increase in calls and emails related to cyberbullying. A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying. And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was a more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.

12:55 Cruelty to others is nothing new, but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified, uncontained, and permanently accessible. The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village, school or community, but now it's the online community too. Millions of people, often anonymously, can stab you with their words, and that's a lot of pain, and there are no perimeters around how many people can publicly observe you and put you in a public stockade.There is a very personal price to public humiliation, and the growth of the Internet has jacked up that price.

13:50 For nearly two decades now, we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation in our cultural soil, both on- and offline. Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics, news outlets and sometimes hackers all traffic in shame It's led to desensitization and a permissive environment online which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.This shift has created what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls a culture of humiliation. Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone. Snap chat, the service which is used mainly by younger generations and claims that its messages only have the lifespan of a few seconds.You can imagine the range of content that that gets.A third-party app which Snap chatters use to preserve the lifespan of the messages was hacked, and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online to now have a life span of forever. Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked, and private, intimate, nude photos were plastered across the Internet without their permission.One gossip website had over five million hits for this one story. And what about the Sony Pictures cyber hacking? The documents which received the most attention were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.

15:38 But in this culture of humiliation, there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming. The price does not measure the cost to the victim, which Tyler and too many others, notably women, minorities, and members of the LGBTQ community have paid, but the price measures the profit of those who prey on them. This invasion of others is a raw material, efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit. A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry. How is the money made? Clicks.The more shame, the more clicks. The more clicks, the more advertising dollars. We're in a dangerous cycle. The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it, and the more numb we get, the more we click. All the while, someone is making money off of the back of someone else's suffering. With every click, we make a choice. The more we saturate our culture with public shaming, the more accepted it is, the more we will see behavior like cyberbullying, trolling, some forms of hacking, and online harassment. Why? Because they all have humiliation at their cores.This behavior is a symptom of the culture we've created. Just think about it.

17:30 Changing behavior begins with evolving beliefs. We've seen that to be true with racism, homophobia, and plenty of other biases, today and in the past. As we've changed beliefs about same-sex marriage, more people have been offered equal freedoms. When we began valuing sustainability, more people began to recycle. So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution. Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop, and it's time for an intervention on the Internet and in our culture

18:10 The shift begins with something simple, but it's not easy. We need to return to a long-held value of compassion -- compassion and empathy. Online, we've got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis.

18:28 Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote, "Shame can't survive empathy. "Shame cannot survive empathy. I've seen some very dark days in my life, and it was the compassion and empathy from my family, friends, professionals, and sometimes even strangers that saved me. Even empathy from one person can make a difference. The theory of minority influence, proposed by social psychologist Serge Moscovici, says that even in small numbers, when there's consistency over time, change can happen. In the online world, we can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders.To become an upstander means instead of bystander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation

Monica Lewinsky: The price of shame (1) Monica Lewinsky||||| Monica Lewinsky: Der Preis der Schande (1) Μόνικα Λεβίνσκι: Lewicy Lewini: Η τιμή της ντροπής (1) Monica Lewinsky: El precio de la vergüenza (1) Monica Lewinsky : Le prix de la honte (1) Monica Lewinsky: Il prezzo della vergogna (1) モニカ・ルインスキー恥の代償 (1) 모니카 르윈스키: 수치심의 대가 (1) Monica Lewinsky: Cena wstydu (1) Mónica Lewinsky: O preço da vergonha (1) Моника Левински: Цена стыда (1) Monica Lewinsky: Utanç bedeli (1) Моніка Левінські: Ціна ганьби (1) 莫妮卡莱温斯基:耻辱的代价 (1)

You're looking at a woman who was publicly silent for a decade.Obviously, that's changed, but only recently. |||||||||||ten years|||||| Il s'agit d'une femme qui est restée publiquement silencieuse pendant une décennie, ce qui a évidemment changé, mais seulement récemment. Вы смотрите на женщину, которая публично молчала в течение десяти лет. Очевидно, что это изменилось, но только недавно.

0:22 It was several months ago that I gave my very first major public talk at the Forbes 30 Under 30 summit:1,500 brilliant people, all under the age of 30.That meant that in 1998, the oldest among the group were only 14, and the youngest, just four. 0:22 Il y a quelques mois, j'ai donné ma toute première grande conférence publique au sommet Forbes 30 Under 30 : 1 500 personnes brillantes, toutes âgées de moins de 30 ans, ce qui signifie qu'en 1998, les plus âgés du groupe n'avaient que 14 ans, et les plus jeunes, seulement quatre. 0:22 Kilka miesięcy temu wygłosiłem swoje pierwsze ważne publiczne przemówienie na szczycie Forbes 30 Under 30: 1500 błyskotliwych ludzi, wszyscy poniżej 30 roku życia. Oznaczało to, że w 1998 roku najstarsi w grupie mieli zaledwie 14 lat, a najmłodsi zaledwie cztery. I joked with them that some might only have heard of me from rap songs.Yes, I'm in rap songs. Almost 40 rap songs. (Laughter)

0:57 But the night of my speech, a surprising thing happened. 0:57 Но в ночь моего выступления произошла удивительная вещь. At the age of 41, I was hit on by a 27-year-old guy. À l'âge de 41 ans, j'ai été draguée par un jeune homme de 27 ans. W wieku 41 lat zostałam poderwana przez 27-letniego faceta. В 41 год ко мне приставал 27-летний парень. I know, right? Wiem, prawda? He was charming and I was flattered, and I declined. Był czarujący, pochlebiało mi to, ale odmówiłam. You know what his unsuccessful pick up line was? Vous savez quelle était sa phrase de drague qui n'a pas abouti ? Wiesz, jaki był jego nieudany podryw? 你知道他那句不成功的搭讪台词是什么吗? He could make me feel 22 again. Il pourrait me faire sentir à nouveau 22 ans. (Laughter) (Applause)

I realized later that night, I'm probably the only person over 40 who does not want to be 22 again. (Laughter) (Applause) 1:46 At the age of 22, I fell in love with my boss, and at the age of 24, I learned the devastating consequences. |||||||||||||||||"belonging to"||||| 1:58 Can I see a show of hands of anyone here who didn't make a mistake or do something they regretted at 22? Yep. That's what I thought. Tak właśnie myślałem. So like me, at 22, a few of you may have also taken wrong turns and fallen in love with the wrong person, maybe even your boss.Unlike me, though, your boss probably wasn't the president of the United States of America. Podobnie jak ja, w wieku 22 lat niektórzy z was również mogli źle skręcić i zakochać się w niewłaściwej osobie, może nawet w swoim szefie, ale w przeciwieństwie do mnie, wasz szef prawdopodobnie nie był prezydentem Stanów Zjednoczonych Ameryki. Of course, life is full of surprises.

2:35 Not a day goes by that I'm not reminded of my mistake, and I regret that mistake deeply. 2:35 Nie ma dnia, żebym nie przypomniał sobie o swoim błędzie i bardzo go żałuję.

2:44 In 1998, after having been swept up into an improbable romance, I was then swept up into the eye of a political, legal and media maelstrom like we had never seen before. 2:44 W 1998 roku, po tym jak zostałem wciągnięty w nieprawdopodobny romans, znalazłem się w oku politycznego, prawnego i medialnego wiru, jakiego nigdy wcześniej nie widzieliśmy. Remember, just a few years earlier, news was consumed from just three places: reading a newspaper or magazine, listening to the radio, or watching television. That was it. But that wasn't my fate.Instead, this scandal was brought to you by the digital revolution.That meant we could access all the information we wanted, when we wanted it, anytime, anywhere, and when the story broke in January 1998, it broke online. It was the first time the traditional news was usurped by the Internet for a major news story, a click that reverberated around the world. C'était la première fois que les informations traditionnelles étaient usurpées par Internet pour un reportage majeur, un clic qui se répercutait dans le monde entier. Był to pierwszy raz, kiedy tradycyjne wiadomości zostały zastąpione przez Internet w głównej wiadomości, a kliknięcie odbiło się echem na całym świecie.

3:51 What that meant for me personally was that overnight I went from being a completely private figure to a publicly humiliated one worldwide.I was patient zero of losing a personal reputation on a global scale almost instantaneously. 3:51 Ce que cela signifiait pour moi personnellement, c'est que du jour au lendemain, je suis passé d'une personnalité totalement privée à une personnalité publiquement humiliée dans le monde entier. 3:51 Dla mnie osobiście oznaczało to, że z dnia na dzień z całkowicie prywatnej postaci stałem się publicznie upokorzony na całym świecie. Byłem pacjentem zero, który niemal natychmiast stracił osobistą reputację w skali globalnej.

4:14 This rush to judgment, enabled by technology, led to mobs of virtual stone-throwers.Granted, it was before social media, but people could still comment online, email stories, and, of course, email cruel jokes. 4:14 Cette ruée vers le jugement, rendue possible par la technologie, a conduit à des foules de lanceurs de pierres virtuels. 4:14 Ten pośpiech w osądzaniu, umożliwiony przez technologię, doprowadził do powstania tłumów wirtualnych miotaczy kamieni. To prawda, było to przed mediami społecznościowymi, ale ludzie wciąż mogli komentować online, wysyłać e-maile z historiami i, oczywiście, okrutne żarty. News sources plastered photos of me all over to sell newspapers, banner ads online, and to keep people tuned to the TV. Les sources d'information ont placardé des photos de moi partout pour vendre des journaux, des bannières publicitaires en ligne et pour que les gens restent à l'écoute de la télévision. Do you recall a particular image of me, say, wearing a beret?

4:52 Now, I admit I made mistakes, especially wearing that beret. But the attention and judgment that I received, not the story, but that I personally received, was unprecedented. I was branded as a tramp, tart, slut, whore, bimbo, and, of course, that woman. J'étais marqué comme un clochard, une tarte, une salope, une putain, une bimbo et, bien sûr, cette femme. Zostałam napiętnowana jako dziwka, dziwka, dziwka, bimbo i oczywiście ta kobieta. I was seen by many but actually known by few. And I get it: it was easy to forget that that woman was dimensional, had a soul, and was once unbroken. Et je comprends : il était facile d'oublier que cette femme était dimensionnelle, qu'elle avait une âme et qu'elle n'avait jamais été brisée. И я понимаю: легко было забыть, что эта женщина была объемной, имела душу и когда-то была несломленной.

5:40 When this happened to me 17 years ago, there was no name for it. Now we call it cyberbullying and online harassment. Nu noemen we het cyberpesten en online intimidatie. Today, I want to share some of my experience with you, talk about how that experience has helped shape my cultural observations, and how I hope my past experience can lead to a change that results in less suffering for others.

6:09 In 1998, I lost my reputation and my dignity. I lost almost everything, and I almost lost my life.

6:23 Let me paint a picture for you. It is September of 1998. I'm sitting in a windowless office room inside the Office of the Independent Counsel underneath humming fluorescent lights. Je suis assis dans un bureau sans fenêtre à l'intérieur du Bureau du Conseil indépendant sous des lumières fluorescentes bourdonnantes. Siedzę w pozbawionym okien pomieszczeniu biurowym w Biurze Niezależnego Radcy Prawnego pod szumiącymi jarzeniówkami. I'm listening to the sound of my voice, my voice on surreptitiously taped phone calls that a supposed friend had made the year before. J'écoute le son de ma voix, ma voix sur les appels téléphoniques subrepticement enregistrés qu'un soi-disant ami avait passés l'année précédente. Słucham dźwięku mojego głosu, mojego głosu w potajemnie nagranych rozmowach telefonicznych, które rzekomy przyjaciel wykonał rok wcześniej. Я слушаю звук своего голоса, своего голоса в тайно записанных телефонных звонках, которые год назад сделал предполагаемый друг. I'm here because I've been legally required to personally authenticate all 20 hours of taped conversation.For the past eight months, the mysterious content of these tapes has hung like the Sword of Damocles over my head. Je suis ici parce que j'ai été légalement tenu d'authentifier personnellement les 20 heures de conversation enregistrées. Au cours des huit derniers mois, le contenu mystérieux de ces enregistrements a plané comme une épée de Damoclès au-dessus de ma tête. Jestem tutaj, ponieważ zostałem prawnie zobowiązany do osobistego uwierzytelnienia wszystkich 20 godzin nagranych rozmów. Przez ostatnie osiem miesięcy tajemnicza zawartość tych taśm wisiała nad moją głową niczym miecz Damoklesa. I mean, who can remember what they said a year ago? Scared and mortified, I listen, listen as I prattle on about the flotsam and jetsam of the day; listen as I confess my love for the president, and, of course, my heartbreak; listen to my sometimes catty, sometimes churlish, sometimes silly self-being cruel, unforgiving, uncouth; listen, deeply, deeply ashamed, to the worst version of myself, a self I don't even recognize. Effrayé et mortifié, j'écoute, j'écoute en bavardant sur le flotsam et le jetsam du jour; écoutez pendant que je confesse mon amour pour le président et, bien sûr, mon cœur se brise; écoutez mon moi parfois méchant, parfois grossier, parfois idiot étant cruel, impitoyable, grossier; écoutez, profondément, profondément honteux, la pire version de moi-même, un moi que je ne reconnais même pas.

7:55 A few days later, the Starr Report is released to Congress, and all of those tapes and transcripts, those stolen words, form a part of it. That people can read the transcripts is horrific enough, but a few weeks later, the audiotapes are aired on TV, and significant portions made available online. The public humiliation was excruciating. L'humiliation publique était atroce. Life was almost unbearable.

8:31 This was not something that happened with regularity back then in 1998, and by this, I mean the stealing of people's private words, actions, conversations or photos, and then making them public --public without consent, public without context, and public without compassion. 8:31 Ce n'était pas quelque chose qui se produisait régulièrement à l'époque, en 1998, et j'entends par là le vol de paroles, d'actions, de conversations ou de photos privées, puis leur publication - publique sans consentement, publique sans contexte et publique sans compassion.

8:57 Fast forward 12 years to 2010, and now social media has been born.The landscape has sadly become much more populated with instances like mine, whether or not someone actually make a mistake, and now it's for both public and private people. The consequences for some have become dire, very dire. Les conséquences pour certains sont devenues désastreuses, très désastreuses.

9:24 I was on the phone with my mom in September of 2010, and we were talking about the news of a young college freshman from Rutgers University named Tyler Clementi. Sweet, sensitive, creative Tyler was secretly webcammed by his roommate while being intimate with another man. When the online world learned of this incident, the ridicule and cyberbullying ignited. Lorsque le monde en ligne a appris cet incident, le ridicule et la cyberintimidation se sont enflammés. A few days later, Tyler jumped from the George Washington Bridge to his death. He was 18.

10:06 My mom was beside herself about what happened to Tyler and his family, and she was gutted with pain in a way that I just couldn't quite understand, and then eventually I realized she was reliving 1998, reliving a time when she sat by my bed every night, reliving a time when she made me shower with the bathroom door open, and reliving a time when both of my parents feared that I would be humiliated to death, literally. 10:06 Ma mère était hors d'elle-même à propos de ce qui était arrivé à Tyler et à sa famille, et elle était ravagée par la douleur d'une manière que je ne pouvais tout simplement pas comprendre, puis j'ai finalement réalisé qu'elle revivait 1998, revivant une époque où elle assise à côté de mon lit tous les soirs, revivant un moment où elle me faisait prendre une douche avec la porte de la salle de bain ouverte, et revivant un moment où mes deux parents craignaient que je sois humilié à mort, littéralement.

10:47 Today, too many parents haven't had the chance to step in and rescue their loved ones.Too many have learned of their child's suffering and humiliation after it was too late. 10:47 Aujourd'hui, trop de parents n'ont pas eu la possibilité d'intervenir et de sauver leurs proches. Trop nombreux sont ceux qui ont appris la souffrance et l'humiliation de leur enfant une fois qu'il était trop tard. Tyler's tragic, senseless death was a turning point for me. It served to recontextualize my experiences, and I then began to look at the world of humiliation and bullying around me and see something different. In 1998, we had no way of knowing where this brave new technology called the Internet would take us. En 1998, nous n'avions aucun moyen de savoir où cette nouvelle technologie courageuse appelée Internet nous mènerait. Since then, it has connected people in unimaginable ways, joining lost siblings, saving lives, launching revolutions, but the darkness, cyberbullying, and slut-shaming that I experienced had mushroomed. Depuis, il a permis de relier les gens de manière inimaginable, de retrouver des frères et sœurs perdus, de sauver des vies, de lancer des révolutions, mais l'obscurité, la cyberintimidation et le "slut-shaming" dont j'ai été victime ont pris de l'ampleur. Every day online, people, especially young people who are not developmentally equipped to handle this, are so abused and humiliated that they can't imagine living to the next day, and some, tragically, don't, and there's nothing virtual about that. Chaque jour en ligne, les gens, en particulier les jeunes qui ne sont pas équipés pour faire face à cela, sont tellement abusés et humiliés qu'ils ne peuvent pas imaginer vivre jusqu'au lendemain, et certains, tragiquement, ne le font pas, et il n'y a rien de virtuel à ce sujet. . Child Line, a UK. nonprofit that's focused on helping young people on various issues, released a staggering statistic late last year: From 2012 to 2013, there was an 87 percent increase in calls and emails related to cyberbullying. A meta-analysis done out of the Netherlands showed that for the first time, cyberbullying was leading to suicidal ideations more significantly than offline bullying. Une méta-analyse réalisée aux Pays-Bas a montré que pour la première fois, la cyberintimidation conduisait à des idées suicidaires de manière plus significative que l'intimidation hors ligne. And you know what shocked me, although it shouldn't have, was other research last year that determined humiliation was a more intensely felt emotion than either happiness or even anger.

12:55 Cruelty to others is nothing new, but online, technologically enhanced shaming is amplified, uncontained, and permanently accessible. The echo of embarrassment used to extend only as far as your family, village, school or community, but now it's the online community too. L'écho de la gêne ne s'étendait auparavant qu'à la famille, au village, à l'école ou à la communauté, mais aujourd'hui, il s'étend également à la communauté en ligne. Millions of people, often anonymously, can stab you with their words, and that's a lot of pain, and there are no perimeters around how many people can publicly observe you and put you in a public stockade.There is a very personal price to public humiliation, and the growth of the Internet has jacked up that price. Des millions de personnes, souvent de manière anonyme, peuvent vous poignarder avec leurs mots, et c'est beaucoup de douleur, et il n'y a pas de périmètre autour du nombre de personnes pouvant vous observer publiquement et vous mettre dans une palissade publique. l'humiliation, et la croissance d'Internet a fait grimper ce prix.

13:50 For nearly two decades now, we have slowly been sowing the seeds of shame and public humiliation in our cultural soil, both on- and offline. Gossip websites, paparazzi, reality programming, politics, news outlets and sometimes hackers all traffic in shame It's led to desensitization and a permissive environment online which lends itself to trolling, invasion of privacy, and cyberbullying.This shift has created what Professor Nicolaus Mills calls a culture of humiliation. Les sites web de potins, les paparazzis, les émissions de téléréalité, la politique, les organes d'information et parfois les pirates informatiques font tous commerce de la honte. Cette évolution a créé ce que le professeur Nicolaus Mills appelle une culture de l'humiliation. Roddelwebsites, paparazzi, reality-programmering, politiek, nieuwsuitzendingen en soms hackers alle verkeer met schaamte Het heeft geleid tot desensibilisatie en een tolerante online omgeving die zich leent voor trollen, inbreuk op de privacy en cyberpesten. Deze verschuiving heeft gecreëerd wat professor Nicolaus Mills noemt een cultuur van vernedering. Consider a few prominent examples just from the past six months alone. Рассмотрим несколько выдающихся примеров только за последние шесть месяцев. Snap chat, the service which is used mainly by younger generations and claims that its messages only have the lifespan of a few seconds.You can imagine the range of content that that gets.A third-party app which Snap chatters use to preserve the lifespan of the messages was hacked, and 100,000 personal conversations, photos, and videos were leaked online to now have a life span of forever. Snap chat, le service qui est principalement utilisé par les jeunes générations et prétend que ses messages n'ont qu'une durée de vie de quelques secondes.Vous pouvez imaginer la gamme de contenu qui en résulte.Une application tierce que les chatteurs Snap utilisent pour préserver le Le pan de la vie des messages a été piraté et 100000 conversations personnelles, photos et vidéos ont été divulguées en ligne pour avoir maintenant une durée de vie éternelle. Jennifer Lawrence and several other actors had their iCloud accounts hacked, and private, intimate, nude photos were plastered across the Internet without their permission.One gossip website had over five million hits for this one story. And what about the Sony Pictures cyber hacking? The documents which received the most attention were private emails that had maximum public embarrassment value.

15:38 But in this culture of humiliation, there is another kind of price tag attached to public shaming. The price does not measure the cost to the victim, which Tyler and too many others, notably women, minorities, and members of the LGBTQ community have paid, but the price measures the profit of those who prey on them. This invasion of others is a raw material, efficiently and ruthlessly mined, packaged and sold at a profit. A marketplace has emerged where public humiliation is a commodity and shame is an industry. How is the money made? Clicks.The more shame, the more clicks. The more clicks, the more advertising dollars. We're in a dangerous cycle. The more we click on this kind of gossip, the more numb we get to the human lives behind it, and the more numb we get, the more we click. All the while, someone is making money off of the back of someone else's suffering. With every click, we make a choice. The more we saturate our culture with public shaming, the more accepted it is, the more we will see behavior like cyberbullying, trolling, some forms of hacking, and online harassment. Plus nous saturons notre culture de honte publique, plus elle est acceptée, plus nous assisterons à des comportements tels que la cyberintimidation, le trolling, certaines formes de piratage et le harcèlement en ligne. Why? Because they all have humiliation at their cores.This behavior is a symptom of the culture we've created. Parce qu'ils ont tous l'humiliation à leur noyau. Ce comportement est un symptôme de la culture que nous avons créée. Just think about it.

17:30 Changing behavior begins with evolving beliefs. 17:30 Изменение поведения начинается с изменения убеждений. We've seen that to be true with racism, homophobia, and plenty of other biases, today and in the past. As we've changed beliefs about same-sex marriage, more people have been offered equal freedoms. Au fur et à mesure de l'évolution de nos convictions sur le mariage homosexuel, davantage de personnes se sont vu offrir des libertés égales. When we began valuing sustainability, more people began to recycle. Lorsque nous avons commencé à valoriser la durabilité, davantage de personnes ont commencé à recycler. So as far as our culture of humiliation goes, what we need is a cultural revolution. Public shaming as a blood sport has to stop, and it's time for an intervention on the Internet and in our culture La honte publique en tant que sport sanguinaire doit cesser, et il est temps d'intervenir sur l'internet et dans notre culture. Public shaming als bloedsport moet stoppen, en het is tijd voor een interventie op internet en in onze cultuur

18:10 The shift begins with something simple, but it's not easy. We need to return to a long-held value of compassion -- compassion and empathy. Online, we've got a compassion deficit, an empathy crisis.

18:28 Researcher Brené Brown said, and I quote, "Shame can't survive empathy. "Shame cannot survive empathy. "La honte ne peut survivre à l'empathie. I've seen some very dark days in my life, and it was the compassion and empathy from my family,  friends, professionals, and sometimes even strangers that saved me. Even empathy from one person can make a difference. The theory of minority influence, proposed by social psychologist Serge Moscovici, says that even in small numbers, when there's consistency over time, change can happen. La théorie de l'influence des minorités, proposée par le psychologue social Serge Moscovici, affirme que même en petit nombre, lorsqu'il y a cohérence dans le temps, un changement peut se produire. In the online world, we can foster minority influence by becoming upstanders.To become an upstander means instead of bystander apathy, we can post a positive comment for someone or report a bullying situation Dans le monde en ligne, nous pouvons favoriser l'influence des minorités en devenant debout.Pour devenir un debout signifie plutôt que par l'apathie, nous pouvons publier un commentaire positif pour quelqu'un ou signaler une situation d'intimidation.