Fairies vs. Giants (2)
ZEUS: See ya!
Katie: And, in Chinese mythology, Pangu grew six feet a day as he carved the world and, after his toil, his body became the universe.
See? Giants help us tell BIG stories. They also represent the big parts of humanity. Whether we're talking about humanity's love of big laughs or big scares, there's a giant for it all!
Take Bobalicón for example. He's a Spanish ogre whose name translates to “Silly Idiot.” He was a terrifying giant, who was always hungry and also incredibly easy to fool.
BOBALICON: HERE I COME TO EAT YOU! SCARY!
KID: Hey, look over there!
BOBALICON: Where? Aw, man. Another meal lost.
Katie: But not all giants are funny and easy to fool. Some are just scary. In the 1830s, parents used giants, like the Red-Legged Scissor-Man, to scare their kids into behaving. It was said that this guy would cut off your thumb if you sucked it.
Being a kid in 1830 does not sound fun! But don't blame giants for that. Giants are capable of change. The demonic Japanese giant Kojin was a huge female ogre with thousands of arms, who used to crush kids. But after a good talking-to, she began to protect them instead.
KOJIN: Come to Kojin! I want to crush you… into a hug.
KID: Um… thank you?
Katie: Heh! See? Whatever the story, giants are out there bringing humanity's huge imagination to life.
They also teach BIG lessons. Like don't get too big for your britches!
Remember the story of David and Goliath? In the traditional story, tiny David defeats giant Goliath with a single stone. All because Goliath is so confident he'll win.
GOLIATH: You'll never beat me! I'm huge! And you're tiny.
DAVID: Let's see about that, Goliath.
Katie: David hits Goliath with a rock right between the eyes, knocks him down, and teaches him a lesson -- that just cuz he's big -- doesn't mean he's always gonna be a winner.
Finally, giants remind us of the majesty of the natural world. For example, in Ireland, there's a formation of huge volcanic rock, enormous gray columns thrust out of the ground. The tallest one is 39 feet tall, which is like stacking three elephants on top of one another. Really wild stuff. And what do people call that formation? The Giant's Causeway. Ancient Irish people thought that the rocks must have been part of a huge road built for giants.
The world can be a confusing and rather large place and giants help us make sense of that. What is a mountain if not a giant's bed? Who built the world if not some being, much, much larger than ourselves? Giants are important. I mean after all, they're GIANT.
Molly: Katie with a massively marvelous argument for giants. Carly, I'm wondering what stood out to you about Katie's argument?
Carly: I really like how you included that giants can change because I think sometimes giants get a really bad rap.
Molly: Tarkor, I'm sure you have some thoughts to share. It's time for your 30-second rebuttal, any gargantuan gaps in team giant's declaration? Your time starts now.
Tarkor: Yeah, I just love how you left out how they're human eaters. You can't even be friends with giants because they might eat you. You're just chilling and all of a sudden, "Ha, ha, ha got your nose. It's a little chewy. Hand me a little salt and butter." Imagine you playing mini-golf one day and all of a sudden you're a chicken wing. It doesn't really go. Fairies are a sidekick, they're there to help you to make your dreams come true, to make sure you're cute. Giants just want to have you for breakfast, and lunch, and dinner.
Katie: Sorry, I like to live on the edge, Tarkor.
Katie: I like a little danger with my friendship.
Molly: Carly, it's time to award your first two points, one for the best declaration, the other for the most robust rebuttal. You get to decide who had a stronger argument. Did one team wow you with facts? Did the other make you laugh more? Who told the coolest stories? The criteria is up to you, make a decision but don't tell us which side you're going for. That's one point for whoever had the best Declaration of Greatnessand one point for whoever had the best rebuttal. Have you awarded your points?
Carly: Yes, I have.
Molly: Excellent. Katie and Tarkor, how are you feeling so far?
Katie: Confidence of a 12-foot man.
Molly: (laughts) Tarkor, how are you feeling?
Taka: I feel amazing. I feel like Tinkerbell.
Molly: Wonderful, ready to fly. Alright. It's time for a quick break. Wiggle your wings, snack on a civilian, whatever you need to do.
Carly: We'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best.
Announcer: You're watching State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric, and all inspiring argumentation.
Todd Douglas: I'm your host Todd Douglas, here with the cat to my hat, the porkie to my pine, the milk to my cereal, Taylor Lincoln.
Taylor Lincoln: Hey, Todd, thanks for the introduction.
Todd: I don't have the words to describe all of your awesomeness. Not only are you an awesome friend, you also just won-- Tell them, tell them.
Taylor: I just won my 10,000th debate.
Todd: It was incredible. Taylor dodged fallacies. She had the audience in tears, burned down the straw man arguments.
Taylor: Well, I learned from the best, Todd. We've been training so hard because we have some big news. Do you want to tell them? You sure? Todd and I've entered the Grandmaster Debate Cup and we're going to find out if we got in any day now.
Todd: Yeah. I am so nervous. I've been wearing this red shirt for six days.
Todd: Yes, all the great debaters that ever got into this competition have been spotted wearing red shirts. I figure I have to get in if I wear this amazing red polo.
Taylor: Todd, you know, better than that. That's the correlation without causation fallacy. It's when two things seem connected but have no effect on each other, like saying it always rains after you drink Kool-Aid or there'll be more winter if the groundhog sees its shadow.
Todd: But all the past winners wear red shirts.
Taylor: It may seem like that but getting into the competition is based on your skill. The shirts are just a coincidence.
Todd: Gotcha! You passed my pop quiz. She shoots, she scores, she catches another fallacy in the wild. You're such a great debater, Taylor.
Taylor: (chuckles) Classic Todd, always finding creative ways to help me sharpen my debate skills. You're the hot to my sauce.
Todd: Thanks, Taylor. I'm so glad we're doing this together.
Todd: That's the mail carrier. Will you answer? I'm too nervous. She might have news about the debate cup.
Taylor: Sure thing. Hey, no matter what happens, good luck.
Todd: You too.
Taylor: And we'll catch you later debate heads.
Todd: When we're both on our way to the Grandmaster Debate Cup.
Taylor: Don't jinx yourself, Todd. On
Molly Bloom: You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.
Carly: I'm your judge, Carly.
Molly: One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Ellie in Dallas, Texas.
Ellie: My debate idea is ketchup versus mustard.
Molly: We'll check back with Ellie at the end of this episode to see which condiment she thinks is the coolest.
Carly: Now, it's back to our debate of the day, fairies versus giants.
Molly: That's right. It's time for round two. The Micro-Round. Katie and Tarkor, we are calling this Micro-Round: The Dating Game. For this challenge, you responded to the question, "What's your idea of the perfect first date?" Convince us you're the one. Tarkor went first late time, so Katie, you're up. Woo us with some giant date ideas.
Katie: Hi, I'm Gertie the Giant. Nice to meet you. Personally, I think a giant is definitely who you want to date. I can think of a HUGE range of options for our night on the town.
Speaking of ranges, my first date idea is to go to Hawaii. Oh, you live across the country from Hawaii? No problem. I can step across the continental United States in approximately four strides. Plus, I don't charge baggage fees.
After that, I'd take you to my Hawaiian hideaway. I'd use my volcano/stove to cook you up a giant pot of spaghetti.
And then, we could spend some time in a pool. I don't have a pool right now, but I'm a giant so it'd be pretty easy to make one. I'd just hit the ground really hard with my fist and — boom! — in-ground pool ready to be filled with chlorinated water. And if you need help reaching anything on a high shelf? I'm your gal!
So, yeah, you should go on a date with me, Gertie the Giant. Life is too short to not have a big romance.
Molly: (laughs) That sounds like an amazing time with Gertie the giant. All right, Tarkor. We are ready to be dazzled. Tell us about your fairy favorite ideas for a first date.
Tarkor: I may only be six inches tall… Ok five and three-quarters. But this pixie packs a punch! Despite these wings, I'm very grounded. I'm not expecting anything with too many frills. Just give me a botanical garden...behind a tropical waterfall...next to a sycamore tree. You know, keep it casual!
We can skip over lily pads while chasing the sunset…*cough* on a yacht. I've heard those palm leaf ones are to DIE for! (excited squeal)
I just want an excuse to serve a LEWK. Category is...Cottage Core REALNESS. I've got my best flowing, floral-print dress, body glitter galore, and I'm ready to STOMP in my petal platforms!
We can share a candle lit dinner, eat soup out of acorns, and stare longingly into each other's eyes as we split a single raspberry for dessert. And when dinner's over, I know the perfect spot to wind down.
Off the Florida Keys there's a place called Kokomo.That's where you want to go to get away from it all. We'll be falling in love to the rhythm of a steel drum band down in Kokomo...
(singing) ARUBA, JAMAICA! OOOOOOH I WANNA TAKE YA TO BERMUDA BAHAMA--
Molly: That fairy got carried away. Carly, what stood out to you in our debaters' Micro-Rounds?
Carly: I really liked the giants' point that you can go many places in a very short amount of time.
Molly: Excellent. What about the fairies' date, what sounded appealing there?
Carly: I liked how it was just casual, like soft nature scenes, and seemed very calming and relaxing.
Molly: Excellent. It's time to award a point. Again, the criteria is up to you. Don't tell us who you're voting for. Have you decided?
Molly: Awesome. Then it's time for our third round, the super stealthy Sneak Attack. I hope you're feeling thrifty, Tarkor and Katie because today's Sneak Attack is Rummage Sale. We want you to pretend that your side is hosting a garage sale and looking to sell some old belongings. Describe two marvelous items in detail and sell them to us. Why are you getting rid of them? What makes them totally worth it? What price do you want us to pay? Sound good?
Katie: Sounds great.
Tarkor: Woo! Ok, I'm ready.
Molly: We'll give you a few minutes to come up with your sales pitches. While you work, we'll listen to some melodious hold music.
Fairies dance through the night
Filled with mischief and delight