Ants vs Bees (3)
Spend your evenings learning how to flap your wings to dry out flower sweat and turn it into food so delicious that humans steal it from our very hives! You want to meet the Queen? Well you can! Fair warning, when you smell her perfume you'll suddenly understand what it is she wants you to do and how to get that thing done. You may be tasked with finding fresh flowers, creating wax combs to store honey!
That's right folks, sign up now and you could be first to get shrunk down and turned into a bee using a process scientists are calling “impossible” and the government is saying “we don't condone it even though we don't think it can be done!” You'll be making history, making honey, and making memories that will last a lifetime (Which for a honey bee is usually between 17 and 22 weeks).
Molly: That sounds like an excellent vacation. Tim, now it's your turn to wow us with your all-inclusive ant resorts. Let's hear it.
Tim: Welcome to the Ant Travel Agency! My name is Exo and I'll help you book a trip to any ant hotel in the world -- from the desert planes of Africa to the colony in your best friend's backyard. Once your trip is booked, we'll use shrink ray technology to bring you down to ant size.
Let's try it now! There you go, now just press that lever there.
(SFX: laser shrink ray)
There you go! Now we're the same height.
So, how about our Amazon rainforest package? It has nothing to do with those packages that get delivered to your door, but everything to do with having a great time! The Amazon rainforest is a dense area of lush trees, birds, lizards, and even us ants!
Oh wait. That's sold out. How about a luxury suite at the Acacia Tree Hotel. Not all ants live in hills. Some of us live inside of trees! The Acacia ants live in symbiosis with Acacia trees. Symbiosis is a fancy way of saying the ants and the tree help each other out. Ants protect it from nasty herbivores and the tree gives us a 24-hour sap buffet. All the sap is on the house… literally. And trust me, it's way more fun than vacationing with bees. I mean, who wants to hear constant buzzing while they're trying to relax?
Okay. You're booked! Did you enjoy this experience? Great. If you don't mind, please give me five stars. Oh - and let me unshrink you.
(SFX: laser shrink ray)
Please don't step on me!! !
Molly: Looks like Tim has that shrink-ray technology. Pretty cool. Great job on both sides, but, Asenat, you've only got one week off. Which insect are you going to vacation with? Let us know when you're done. Have you awarded your point?
Asenat: I have. This one was a lot harder than the other one.
Molly: Why was that?
Asenat: They were both filled with a bunch of little jokes that I really, really loved. The way they were comparing some things with others, that was really lovely.
Molly: Well now, we have to be ready for anything because here comes the--
Announcer: Sneak Attack.
Molly: Your Sneak Attack challenge is Jingle Jam. Make up a short and catchy jingle for your side. Sing it to us and win us over. We'll give you a few minutes to write while we listen to some lovely hold music.
Singer: Ants build hills, some chew wood.
Aerating soil, they do good.
Mini engineers, they can walk on walls.
Buzz buzz bees, build a hive.
Pollinating flowers they dance and jive.
Spitting yummy honey for their precious queen.
Molly: All right. Tim and Ian, are you ready?
Molly: Okay. Tim, you're up.
Tim: Oh boy. All right.
Ants are stronger than you think, they are.
Ants are on the planet near and far.
Ants are very, very extra-ordinary,
even though they're tinier than packets of peanut butter and jelly.
These ants are bananas.
These ants eat bananas.
Ants were made for me and you.
Molly: I love a jingle with a remix. So good.
Molly: All right. Ian, let's hear what you came up with.
Ian: Great. To the tune of Scott Joplin's The Entertainer.
Do do do do do do, do do do do do do
do do do do do do do
Would you want to be a bee?
As an ant, there's not much to see.
Would you want to dig a hole?
Making honey would fulfill your soul.
How cool would it be to fly?
Better than being an underground guy
because then all the feet
you'd be destined to meet
when they stepped on you on the ground.
Tim: Wow. Well, I don't see how that song doesn't give one nightmares.
Ian: I know it will haunt your dreams because it's what makes you lose, Tim.
Molly: Asenat, good luck with this one. They're not making it easy for you, but award a point to whichever team had the better jingle. Was it catchier? Did it make you laugh? The lyrics? Whatever your criteria is, it's up to you. Have you awarded your point?
Judge: Yes, I have.
Molly: Tim and Ian, what went through your mind during that last challenge?
Tim: It was a whirlwind, I'm not going to lie. I found a musical element in my soul and I really let that part of my psyche sing, I think.
Molly: Beautiful. Ian, what were you thinking?
Ian: Tim and I are old friends and he definitely has the musical gene inside of him more than he does. I had to tap deep down and just go for the sincere belting of an age-old tune.
Molly: It was gorgeous. All right. We've arrived at the end of the line and it's time for the--
Announcer:The Final Six.
Molly: Tim and Ian, you've got just six words left to sway our judge, make them count. Ian, let's hear your final six.
Ian: Would you eat honey or ant stuff?
Molly: (laughs) All right, Tim, let's hear your final six.
Tim: The ants are listening right now.
Molly: Asenat, you've got a big decision to make about these tiny creatures. Give your final point, tally them all up, and then let us know which industrious little insect is the Smash Boom Best. Are you ready to call it?
Asenat: I am ready.
Molly: Okay. Asenat, who won this debate?
Asenat: Bees won this debate.
Ian: Tim, I'm sorry if it stings but that's the way the cookie crumbled.
Tim: I went in here knowing the ants are the underdog and I'm not going to stop rooting for them. Ants make better superheroes. I haven't seen a single superhero that isn't an ant in the cinema.
Ian: That was a very good job, Tim.
Molly: Asenat, what was the strongest argument that you heard that swung you over to the bee side?
Asenat: The very last one. Y'all were tied all the way through.
Molly: The Final Six? Final six did it?
Asenat: The Final Six was the one that caught my attention the most.
Ian: I was nervous the whole time. Tim is an incredible joke writer that makes a very compelling argument, he can write music and sing significantly better than I can and I respect that, he did a great job.
Tim: Yeah, and Ian had a wealth of jokes and he can be funny at a speed that I can't contend with.
Molly: Well, Asenat crowned bees the Smash Boom Best today, but who do you think won?
Asenat: Yes, we want to know if you agree or disagree. Our online poll is waiting for you. Head over to our website smashboom.org and cast your vote.
Molly: That's it for this debate. Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On! and American Public Media.
Ian: It's produced by Molly Bloom, Rosie DuPont, Marc Sanchez, Sanden Totten, and Jennifer Lai.
Tim: We had engineering help from Johnny Vince Evans.
Ian: We had production help from Elyssa Dudley, Kristina Lopez, and Menaka Wilhelm.
Molly: Anna Weggel is the voice of our hold music and our announcer is Marley Feuerwerker-Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Coffman, and Jed Kim. Ian, is there anyone you want to give a shoutout to today?
Ian: I want to thank the wonderful team at Smash Boom Best for helping me write, edit, and make this as strong as it can be.
Molly: Awesome. We were fishing for compliments.
How about you, Tim, anyone you want to say thanks to today?
Tim: David Hu, the wonderful mad scientist that I interviewed for one of those pieces and you know what? Paul Rudd, for really doing a great job playing Ant-Man and I'm going to give him a call, see if he can change these results.
Molly: I want to thank Paul Rudd every day too. Asenat, do you want to give any special thanks?
Asenat: I'd like to give a special thanks to Smash Boom Best for having me here.
Molly: Thank you for being here. You did an awesome job. Before we go, let's check in with Lev. Remember, he suggested a microscope versus telescope match up, and here's who he thinks would win.
Lev: I think telescope would win because when you look at a moon regularly, all you can see is just a bright spot. When you look in a telescope, it zooms in and you can see a bunch of details.
Molly: Awesome point, Lev. If you've dreamed up the best idea ever, we want to hear about it. Share your ideas at smashboom.org. We love hearing from you.
Asenat: We'll be back soon with another debate battle.
Tim: See you later.
Molly: See you.
Ian: You all come back now, you hear?
Tim: Like the Vulcans on Star Trek, everything you're saying is made up.