Ants vs Bees (2)
Molly: Well, Ian, now that you're all warmed up, it's time for you to bring the love for bees. Let's hear it.
Molly: We need to interrupt for just one second, we want to let you know that when this episode was first published we made a mistake. Ian said hat bees turn pollen into honey. This is not true, they turn nectar into honey. We've corrected the mistake and replaced “pollen” with “nectar.” Here's Ian.
Ian: Here is the office of a honey bee.
HONEYBEE: Hello? Yes this is a honey bee. I don't have time for this, we're making honey and helping plants grow all across the world! I gotta go!
Ian: Ok. I'll be honest with you, I'm not a honey bee, just a big fan of them. Bees are colorful, magnificent creatures that are not only fascinating, but hold our world together.
Now there are many types of bees, but the one you are probably MOST familiar with, and what is definitely the COOLEST bee is the “honey bee.”
They're called honey bees because of what they create: Baby bees they affectionately refer to as “honey.” Which are named after the sweet, sticky substance we all know and love: honey!
Honey bees live in hives, which I thought was short for high five, but actually is the structure bees live in, it's also what the entire group of bees is called: a hive. It'd be like if you called your family the car you drove. “Yes hello, this is my brother, he is part of my Nissan Sentra.”
There can be over 60,000 bees in a hive, and each hive has three types of bees:
There's the drone bee, which helps the population grow, and the worker bee that collects the dust on flowers known as pollen for the hive.
The LAST kind of bee is the queen bee. She's named after the classic rock band because she will ROCK you. Queen bees are the only ones that lay eggs and they talk to other bees using chemicals their body produces. When other bees smell the chemicals, they know what the queen wants them to do. Imagine if when you sweat, it let your mom know you wanted chocolate. Now that's something I have in common with the queen bee. But maybe it's because I always want chocolate and my mom knows it.
ANOTHER thing honey bees do that I can't is dance. When I get on the dance floor they put out traffic cones so people avoid the area. Worker bees however can dance so well they do it to let other worker bees know exactly where flowers are located. They walk in this sort of figure-eight shape, and based on how long and wide the loops are, other bees can figure out where they found food. It'd be like if you asked me for directions and I backflipped to tell you.
After getting the nectar, worker bees take it back to the hive and turn the nectar into honey. How? Well, I brought in a bee to explain it.
*A loud buzzing*
Hello, uh, yes excuse me Ms. Worker Bee can you tell me…
How do you turn nectar into honey? Okay she's picked up a permanent marker… and is writing? Would you mind using something we could wash off after? Ok, fine. Oh great, she wrote it in bee. Let me get my bee translation book. Okay… That's a g… Italics means it's sarcastic… Well, what she wrote was, “Go look it up, I've got work to do.” Well, you are a worker bee I guess that makes sense. Give me one second here…
We're back. It's been three years since I recorded this last. I have a very long white beard. It's naturally brown but I dye it. I have now learned everything there is to know about honey bees.
So, one bee chews the nectar, then passes it to the next bee's mouth and so on until a bunch of bees have chewed it. The same way I'm sure you and your family enjoy a Sunday night dinner, chewing each other's food until it becomes honey. Then they spit it into a honeycomb, and flap their wings to dry it out and make it even stickier. Like cooling a bite of hot soup except the whole family has already had it in their mouth and then they just save it for later.
But bees are bigger than just their hive. They help spread pollen which helps more plants grow. That's a MAJOR way flowers manage to spread out and grow in such great numbers. Bees!
So, next time you see a bee, tell them thank you.
Molly: A very sweet declaration for bees. Asenat, what is your take on Ian's argument?
Asenat: They are making it so hard for me to choose which one I like more. Again, I split it up into three categories. The logic of it: The random little facts they gave me about what type of bees and how many there are per hive and how they make honey. The emotion that went into it when they told me all of those jokes, and they portrayed themselves as a bee.
Molly: Great points, Asenat. Tim, now it's your chance to bite back. You get 30 seconds to rebut Ian's arguments and your time starts now.
Tim: That was cute Ian. That whole beautiful thing you made. You didn't once even explain what bee stands for. B. It's a grade that is decent to get in a class but your parents are still a little disappointed at you. You definitely highlighted how flashy bees are, especially when it came to dancing. An example of someone answering a question by backflipping before they answer to you? If I met someone to who I asked a question and they backflip to me to answer it, I would slowly walk away.
Ian: Can I respond?
Tim: I have so much more. I'll sit.
Ian: The genius part about bees is not that they backflip in response. It's that other bees know exactly what that means, Tim. If you can't understand the beauty of the language of dance, you should look inside, and not blame the most incredible insect on the planet.
Tim: I don't know, it was just hard to understand what you were saying throughout this whole thing because you definitely highlighted the annoying sound that bees make. Do you know what an ant sounds like? Exactly.
Molly: All right. Well, Asenat, it is time to give one point for the best declaration and one for the best rebuttal. They can both go to one person or you can split them up. Think it over. Let us know when you've awarded the points but don't tell us who you've given them to. We'll wait till the very end of the show to hear who won. Have you awarded your points?
Asenat: I have.
Molly: Was it a hard decision?
Asenat: It was very difficult.
Molly: Excellent. That means our debaters are doing a good job. Listeners at home, mark down your points too, and feel free to pause if you want to talk it over with a friend. Ian and Tim, how are you feeling after the first round?
Tim: I know that there are ants somewhere in my apartment right now. I know that they're rooting for me.
Ian: I felt bad doing such a better job than Tim but we both had the same amount of prep time and I think we'll remain friends.
Molly: All right. Well, everyone, it's halftime. Stretch your legs, straighten your antennae, dust off your wings if you've got them, and stay tuned.
Asenat: We'll be back in a flash with more Smash Boom Best.
TAYLOR: Taylor Lincoln here, with 795-time debate champ, Todd Douglas! (beat) Todd?
TODD: Oh! Oh. Sorry -- I got so caught up in this book I'm reading… I, ah... hiya debate-heads! We got a debate on tape that's literature-ly gonna blow your minds!
TAYLOR: Yeah! A grandmother and her grandson got into a bit of an argument about which is better to take on vacation -- an e-reader or an actual book.
TODD: I feel pretty passionately about this topic my SHELF! (LAUGHS) GET IT? !
TAYLOR: Book. Shelf. Ya, I do. Alright, Todd. Roll tape!
GRANDMA: Sweetie, I think you should bring your e-reader to the beach.
MARCEL: But grandma… I love real books. The actual object is the object of my affection! I love the way books smell, I love the feel of the pages between my fingertips...
GRANDMA: But all those books you've got there -- they'll take up a lot of space in your suitcase! E-readers are pretty convenient sometimes -- and they actually have less of an environmental impact than books do!
MARCEL: You think regular books are bad for the earth!? Grandma -- what is up with your values? I expect so much more from you! You used to be a librarian, and now you're saying books are evil!? WOW. Just…. WOW.
TODD: Ummmmm prettty sure that's not what she said.
TAYLOR: Yeah. Marcel just committed a logical fallacy. Logical fallacies come in all different shapes and sizes, but they all make your arguments weaker than they need to be.
TODD: Uh huh. He used one we like to call the “Straw Man Fallacy.” It's when you misrepresent or exaggerate your opponent's argument, making it easier to attack.
TAYLOR: Let's see how grandma strikes back.
GRANDMA: I did not say “all books are evil” -- I just suggested that an e-reader would be easier to bring on vacation, and they're not as bad as you might think. If you use ‘em for long enough e-readers actually leave less of a mark on the environment than books do. If you don't believe me, I'll send you the literature!
MARCEL: (groan) Grandmaaaaaa….
TAYLOR: Ding ding ding! Grandma for the win!
TODD: I'll say. Well, debate-heads -- another example of what NOT to do when it comes to debate.
TAYLOR: Steer clear of those straw man fallacy fails, and next time you partake in a debate -- aim to be a bit more like grandma!
TODD: Can't hurt! Catch you next time on…
TAYLOR/TODD: STATE OF DEBATE!
Molly: You're listening to Smash Boom Best, the show about showdowns. We love the debate ideas you send our way, like this one from Lev.
Lev: My debate idea is microscopes versus telescopes.
Asenat: A scope-off. Great idea, Lev.
Molly: Totally. We'll check in again with Lev at the end of the show to see who he thinks should win. Now, it's time to get back to our bug battle. Ian and Tim, do you have a strategy going forward?
Tim: Yeah. I think my strategy is to focus on how bees are just about flash, but it's all to disguise, as Ian highlighted, the disgusting methods they use to create honey.
Ian: I would say that ants are twice as disgusting and they don't create anything.
Molly: All right. Well, next up it's the--
Announcer: Micro Round.
Molly: Your Micro Round challenge is the ultimate getaway. Pretend you're a travel agent and sell us on the idea of vacationing with either ants or bees. We'll pack our bags and book a ticket with whichever side makes the best case. Ian, you're up first this time. Tell us about the perks of a bee-cation.
Ian: Are you tired of feeling isolated? Alone? Do you ever wish you had thousands of brothers and sisters? Do you often wish you could cozy up with a relaxing night of vomiting wax to build your home?
Well, then it's time to go on vacation to the Honey Bee Hive, the only one-star resort that lets you live with and as a honey bee! (Our one-star rating is out of 1, so that's a top grade!)