My Oedipus Complex (1) Mi complejo de Edipo (1) 私のエディプスコンプレックス（1） 나의 오이디푸스 콤플렉스 (1) Mój kompleks Edypa (1) O meu complexo de Édipo (1) Мій Едіпів комплекс (1)

When you are aged about five or six; you are the most important person in your world and, naturally, you expect your parents to understand this and to follow your wishes in everything. あなたが約5歳か6歳のとき;あなたはあなたの世界で最も重要な人物であり、当然のことながら、あなたはあなたの両親がこれを理解し、すべてにおいてあなたの願いに従うことを期待しています。

But young Larry has a lot of trouble getting his parents to behave in the right way... しかし、若いラリーは両親を正しい行動にさせるのに多くの問題を抱えています...

Father was in the army all through the war - the First World War, I mean - so up to the age of five, I never saw much of him, and what I saw did not worry me. 父は戦争中ずっと軍隊にいました-つまり第一次世界大戦-つまり、5歳まで、私は父のことをあまり見たことがありませんでした。 Sometimes I woke and there was a big figure in uniform staring down at me. 時々目を覚ますと、制服を着た大きな人影が私を見下ろしていました。 Sometimes in the early morning, I heard the front door bang and heavy footsteps marching away down the street. 時々早朝、玄関のドアがバタンと音をたてて通りを行進する重い足音が聞こえました。 These were Father's entrances and exits. これらはお父様の出入口でした。 Like Santa Claus, he came and went mysteriously. サンタクロースのように、不思議なことに行き来しました。

In fact, I rather liked his visits, although there wasn't much room between Mother and him when I got into the big bed in the early morning. 実際、早朝に大きなベッドに入ったとき、母と彼の間にあまり余裕はありませんでしたが、私はむしろ彼の訪問が好きでした. He smoked a pipe, which gave him a pleasant smell, and shaved, an interesting activity I had never seen before. 彼はパイプを吸うといい匂いがしたり、髭を剃ったり、これまでに見たことのない興味深い活動でした。 Each time he left a few more souvenirs behind - buttons and knives and used bullets - packed carefully away in a box. 彼はそのたびに、ボタンやナイフ、使用済みの弾丸など、いくつかのお土産を箱に注意深く詰めて置き去りにしました。 When he was away, Mother used to let me play with these things. 彼が留守の間、母はよく私にこれらのもので遊ばせてくれました。 She didn't seem to think as highly of them as he did. 彼女は彼ほど彼らを高く評価していないようだった.

The war was the most peaceful time of my life. 戦争は私の人生で最も平和な時期でした。 The window of my room faced southeast. 私の部屋の窓は南東向きでした。 I always woke at first light, and felt I was rather like the sun, ready to light up the world and be happy. 私はいつも最初の光で目が覚め、太陽のように世界を照らして幸せになる準備ができていると感じました. Life never seemed so simple and clear and full of possibilities as then. 人生は、当時ほど単純で明確で、可能性に満ちているようには見えませんでした。 I put my feet out from under the blankets - I called them Mrs Left and Mrs Right - and invented situations for them. 私は毛布の下から足を出しました - 私は彼らをミセス・レフトとミセス・ライトと呼びました - そして彼らのために状況を発明しました. They discussed what Mother and I should do during the day, what Santa Claus should give me for Christmas, and what steps should be taken to brighten the home. 彼らは、母と私が日中何をすべきか、サンタクロースがクリスマスに私に何をくれるべきか、家を明るくするためにどのような措置を講じるべきかについて話し合った. There was that little matter of the baby, for example. たとえば、赤ちゃんの小さな問題がありました。 Mother and I could never agree about that. 母と私はそれについて決して同意できませんでした。 Ours was the only house in the road without a new baby, and Mother said we couldn't afford one until Father came back from the war, because they were expensive. 私たちの家は道の中で唯一新しい赤ちゃんが生まれていなかった家で、母は、父が戦争から帰ってくるまで、赤ちゃんを買う余裕はないと言っていました。 That showed how silly she was being. それは彼女がいかに愚かであったかを示しました。 The Geneys up the road had a new baby, and everyone knew they didn't have much money. 道の先のジーニー家には新しい赤ちゃんが生まれ、誰もがお金がないことを知っていました。 It was probably a cheap baby, and Mother wanted something really good, but I felt she was being too choosy. 安っぽい赤ちゃんだったのだろうし、お母さんは本当にいいものを欲しがっていたのに、うるさすぎる気がした。 The Geneys' baby would have been fine for us. Geneys の赤ちゃんは、私たちにとっては大丈夫だったでしょう。

Having arranged my plans for the day, I got up, went into Mother's room and climbed into the big bed. She woke and I began to tell her what I had decided. The bed was so nice and warm that I usually fell asleep beside her, and woke again only when I heard her below in the kitchen, making the breakfast.

After breakfast, we went into town, said a prayer for Father at the church, and did the shopping. Mother had all her friends praying for Father, and every night, before going to bed, I asked God to send him back safe from the war to us. It's a pity I didn't know what I was praying for!

One morning I got into the big bed, and there, sure enough, was Father. As usual, he'd arrived like Santa Claus. But later he put on his best blue suit instead of his uniform, and Mother looked very pleased. I saw nothing to be pleased about, because, out of uniform, Father was far less interesting. But she only gave a big smile and explained that our prayers had been answered. We all went off to church to thank God for bringing Father safely home.

Well, I couldn't believe what happened next. When we came back, he sat down and began to talk seriously to Mother, who looked anxious. Naturally, I disliked her looking anxious, because it destroyed her good looks, so I interrupted him.

'Just a moment, Larry!' she said gently.

But when I went on talking, she said impatiently, 'Do be quiet, Larry! Don't you hear me talking to Daddy?'

This was the first time I had heard these awful words, 'talking to Daddy', and I couldn't help feeling that if this was how God answered prayers, he wasn't listening to them very carefully. Es war das erste Mal, dass ich diese schrecklichen Worte hörte: "Ich spreche mit Papa", und ich konnte mich des Eindrucks nicht erwehren, dass Gott Gebete nicht sehr sorgfältig erhört, wenn er sie auf diese Weise beantwortet.

'Why are you talking to Daddy?' I asked.

'Because Daddy and I have business to discuss. Now don't interrupt again!'

In the afternoon, at Mother's request, Father took me for a walk. I discovered that he and I had quite different ideas of what a walk in town should be. He had no interest in trains, ships, or horses, and the only thing he seemed to enjoy was talking to men as old as himself. When I wanted to stop, he simply went on, dragging me behind him by the hand; when he wanted to stop, I was forced to stop too. I tried pulling him by the coat and trousers, but he was amazingly good at paying no attention to me. Really, it was like going for a walk with a mountain!

At teatime, 'talking to Daddy' began again, made worse by the fact that he now had an evening newspaper. Every few minutes he told Mother some news out of it. I didn't feel this was fair. I was ready to do battle with him any time for Mother's attention, but using other people's ideas gave him an unfair advantage. Ich war jederzeit bereit, mit ihm um Mutters Aufmerksamkeit zu kämpfen, aber die Ideen anderer Leute zu benutzen, verschaffte ihm einen unfairen Vorteil. Several times, I tried to talk about something else, but with no success.

'You must be quiet while Daddy's reading, Larry,' Mother said. It was clear that either she really liked talking to Father better than talking to me, or else he had some terrible power over her. Es war klar, dass sie sich entweder wirklich lieber mit Vater unterhielt als mit mir, oder dass er eine schreckliche Macht über sie hatte.

'Mummy,' I said that night in bed, 'do you think, if I prayed hard, God would send Daddy back to the war?'

'No, dear,' she said with a smile. 'I don't think he would.'

'Why wouldn't he, Mummy?'

'Because there isn't a war any longer, dear.'

'But, Mummy, couldn't God make another war?'

'He wouldn't like to, dear. It's not God who makes wars - it's bad people who do it.'

'Oh!' I said, disappointed. I began to think that God wasn't quite as wonderful as people said he was.

Next morning I woke at my usual hour, feeling ready to burst with ideas and plans for the day. I put out my feet and invented a long conversation. Mrs Right talked of the trouble she had with her own father until she put him in the Home. I didn't quite know what the Home was, but it sounded the right place for Father. Then I got up, went into the next room and in the half-darkness climbed into the big bed. Father was taking up more than his fair share of the bed, so I gave him several kicks. Vater beanspruchte mehr als seinen Anteil am Bett, also gab ich ihm mehrere Tritte. Mother woke and put out a hand to me. I lay comfortably in the warmth of the bed with my thumb in my mouth.

'Mummy!' I said loudly and happily.

'Sssh, dear!' she whispered. 'Don't wake Daddy!'

This was a new development, which threatened to be even more serious than 'talking to Daddy'. Life without my early-morning discussions was unthinkable.

'Why?' I asked crossly.

'Because poor Daddy is tired.'

This seemed to me a very poor reason. 'Oh!' I said lightly. 'Do you know where I want to go with you today, Mummy?'

'No, dear,' she sighed.

'I want to go to the river to catch some fish, and then-'

'Don't-wake-Daddy!' she whispered angrily, holding her hand across my mouth.

But it was too late. He was awake. He reached for his matches, lit one and stared in horror at his watch.

'Like a cup of tea, dear?' asked Mother nervously.

'Tea?' he cried angrily. 'Do you know what the time is?'

'And after that I want to go up the Rathcooney Road,' I said loudly, afraid I'd forget something in all these interruptions.

'Go to sleep at once, Larry!' she said sharply.

I began to cry. Father said nothing, but lit his pipe and smoked it, looking out into the shadows away from Mother and me. It was so unfair. Every time I had explained to her, the waste of making two beds when we could both sleep in one, she had told me it was healthier like that. Jedes Mal, wenn ich ihr erklärt hatte, dass es eine Verschwendung sei, zwei Betten zu machen, wenn wir beide in einem schlafen könnten, hatte sie mir gesagt, dass es so gesünder sei. And now here was this man, this stranger, sleeping with her without the least care for her health! Und jetzt war da dieser Mann, dieser Fremde, der mit ihr schlief, ohne sich auch nur im Geringsten um ihre Gesundheit zu kümmern!

He got up early and made tea, but although he brought Mother a cup, he brought none for me. Er stand früh auf und kochte Tee, aber obwohl er Mutter eine Tasse brachte, brachte er mir keine.

'Mummy,' I shouted, 'I want a cup of tea, too.' Mutti", rief ich, "ich will auch eine Tasse Tee".

'You can drink from my saucer, dear,' she said patiently. Du kannst aus meiner Untertasse trinken, Liebes", sagte sie geduldig.

That was the end. Das war das Ende. Either Father or I would have to leave the house. I didn't want to drink from Mother's saucer; I wanted to be considered an equal in my own home. So I drank it all and left none for her. She took that quietly too.

But that night when she was putting me to bed, she said gently, 'Larry, I want you to promise me that you won't come in and disturb poor Daddy in the morning. Promise?'

That awful 'poor Daddy' again! 'Why?' I asked.

'Because poor Daddy is worried, and doesn't sleep well.'

'Why doesn't he, Mummy?'

'Well, you know that, while he was at the war, Mummy got our money from the post office? Now, you see, there's no more money for us at the post office, so Daddy must go out and find us some. You know what would happen if he couldn't?'

'No,' I said, 'tell me.'

'Well, I think we might have to go out and beg, like the old woman outside the church. We wouldn't like that, would we?'

'No,' I agreed. 'We wouldn't.'

'So you'll promise not to come in and wake him?'

'Promise.'

I really meant it. I knew money was a serious matter and I didn't want to have to beg, like the old woman. So when I woke the next morning, I stayed in my room, playing with my toys for what seemed like hours. I was bored, and so very, very cold.

I kept thinking of the big, deep, warm bed in Mother's room.

At last, I could bear it no longer. I went into the next room and got into the bed. Mother woke at once with a start.

'Larry,' she whispered, 'what did you promise?'

'But I was quiet for ever so long!' I said miserably.

'Oh dear, and you're so cold!' she said sadly. 'Now if I let you stay, will you promise not to talk?'

'But I want to talk, Mummy,' I cried.

'That has nothing to do with it,' she said, with a firmness that was new to me. 'Daddy wants to sleep. Do you understand?'

I understood only too well. I wanted to talk, he wanted to sleep - whose house was it, anyway?

'Mummy,' I said with equal firmness, 'I think it would be healthier for Daddy to sleep in his own bed.'

That seemed to surprise her, because she was silent for a while. Finally she said, 'Now, you must be perfectly quiet or go back to your own bed. Which is it to be?'

The unfairness of it made me angry. I gave Father a kick, which she didn't notice, but which made him open his eyes.

'Go to sleep again, Mick,' she told him calmly. 'Now, Larry,' she said to me, getting out of bed, 'you must go back.'

This time, in spite of her quiet air, I knew she meant it, and I knew I had to fight back, or lose my position in the home. Dieses Mal wusste ich trotz ihrer ruhigen Art, dass sie es ernst meinte, und ich wusste, dass ich mich wehren musste, oder ich würde meine Stellung im Haus verlieren. As she picked me up, I gave a scream loud enough to wake the dead.

'That damn child!' said Father. 'Doesn't he ever sleep?' He turned to the wall, and then looked back over his shoulder at me, with nothing showing except two small, mean, dark eyes. Er drehte sich zur Wand und schaute dann über seine Schulter zu mir zurück, wobei er nichts außer zwei kleinen, gemeinen, dunklen Augen sah.