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E-Books (english-e-reader), Curing a Cold

Curing a Cold

chapter ONE

The First Sneeze'

When the White House of Virginia City, Nevada burnt down, I lost my home, my happiness, my health and my trunk. The loss of my home and my happiness was not a problem. A home without a mother or a sister who care for you isn't really a home. The loss of my happiness was not a problem either. I am not a poet, and so I am usually a happy person.

But the loss of my good health and of my handsome trunk was a serious problem. On the day of the fire, I caught a terrible cold.

The first time I began to sneeze, a friend told me to put my feet in hot water and then go to bed. I did this.

The next day, another friend advised me to take a cold shower. I did this too.

After an hour, another friend told me to eat a big quantity of good food. So I went to a new restaurant and started to eat everything I saw. The owner of the restaurant asked me if the people of Virginia City often had colds. I answered that they did. He then went outside, took down the new sign and closed the restaurant.

That day I met another good friend. He told me that I must drink a bottle of warm salt water. This was the only remedy to cure a cold. I tried it and the result was surprising. I threw up everything I had in my stomach!

I will never drink warm salt water again! And I will never advise anyone to do so. I prefer being in a California earthquake, than drinking a bottle of warm salt water. This horrible remedy did not cure my cold, and it made my stomach sick for some time.

I continued to sneeze violently, to blow my nose and to destroy handkerchiefs. My suffering grew.

CHAPTER TWO

The Remedies

One day I met a woman who appeared to be one hundred and fifty years old. She came from a deserted part of the Far West, where there were no doctors. She had years of experience helping sick people. She prepared a special mixture of molasses, aquafortis, oils and other strange drugs. She advised me to drink a glass of this mixture every fifteen minutes.

I only drank one glass of the mixture. It was enough to make me crazy. I became extremely mean and dangerous. My mind was full of wild thoughts. My behavior was horrible. I was proud of being bad!

After a few days, the effect of the horrible mixture passed. I felt a lot worse. My cold passed from my head to my lungs. I coughed every moment of the day and of the night. It was impossible to sleep. The sound of my voice frightened me.

I got worse every day. An old friend recommended gin. I drank it. Then I drank gin with molasses. Finally, I added onions. So I had gin, molasses and onions. The smell of my breath was terrible.

CHAPTER THREE

The San Francisco Remedy

I decided to travel to the countryside to improve my health. I went to Lake Bigler with my friend, Wilson. We traveled in a comfortable Pioneer coach. At Lake Bigler we fished and sailed on the lake. We hunted for hours in the woods. In the evening we danced. I enjoyed myself greatly. But, my illness got worse.

A tourist at Lake Bigler recommended a cold sheet-bath. I never refused a remedy. At midnight, when it was very cold, I undressed completely. I covered my body with a wet, ice-cold sheet. I kept the sheet on my body for a long time.

It was the worst experience of my life. The wet, ice-cold sheet made my blood freeze and made my heart stop! I thought it was time for me to die.

Never take a sheet-bath - NEVER! This is my advice to everyone.

My condition got a lot worse. Other people recommended other remedies. Not one of these remedies cured my cold.

After a week at Lake Bigler, I decided to go to Steamboat Springs. I thought that the hot baths there were good for my health. They were not. While I was at Steamboat Springs, I tried several different remedies. But I just got worse and worse. I was desperate.

I finally decided to visit the city of San Francisco. The day I arrived, a woman at the hotel told me to drink a bottle of whisky every twenty-four hours. A dear friend, who lived in San Francisco, recommended exactly the same thing: a bottle of whisky every twenty-four hours. That's two bottles of whisky.

Well, I am happy to say that this San Francisco remedy finally cured my cold!

- THE END -


Curing a Cold

chapter ONE

The First Sneeze'

When the White House of Virginia City, Nevada burnt down, I lost my home, my happiness, my health and my trunk. ネバダ州バージニアシティのホワイトハウスが全焼したとき、私は家、幸せ、健康、そしてトランクを失いました。 The loss of my home and my happiness was not a problem. A home without a mother or a sister who care for you isn't really a home. あなたの世話をする母親や姉妹のいない家は、実際には家ではありません。 The loss of my happiness was not a problem either. 私の幸せの喪失も問題ではありませんでした。 I am not a poet, and so I am usually a happy person. 私は詩人ではないので、たいてい幸せな人です。

But the loss of my good health and of my handsome trunk was a serious problem. On the day of the fire, I caught a terrible cold. 火事の日、ひどい風邪を引いた。

The first time I began to sneeze, a friend told me to put my feet in hot water and then go to bed. 初めてくしゃみをし始めたとき、友達から足をお湯に入れて寝るように言われました。 I did this.

The next day, another friend advised me to take a cold shower. 翌日、別の友人が私に冷たいシャワーを浴びるように勧めました。 I did this too.

After an hour, another friend told me to eat a big quantity of good food. 1時間後、別の友人が私にたくさんのおいしい食べ物を食べるように言いました。 So I went to a new restaurant and started to eat everything I saw. それで私は新しいレストランに行き、私が見たものすべてを食べ始めました。 The owner of the restaurant asked me if the people of Virginia City often had colds. レストランのオーナーは、バージニアシティの人々が風邪をひくことが多いかどうか私に尋ねました。 I answered that they did. 私は彼らがそうしたと答えました。 He then went outside, took down the new sign and closed the restaurant. それから彼は外に出て、新しい看板を降ろし、レストランを閉めました。

That day I met another good friend. He told me that I must drink a bottle of warm salt water. 彼は私に暖かい塩水のボトルを飲まなければならないと言った。 This was the only remedy to cure a cold. これが風邪を治す唯一の治療法でした。 I tried it and the result was surprising. 試してみたところ、意外な結果になりました。 I threw up everything I had in my stomach! お腹にあるものを全部捨てました!

I will never drink warm salt water again! 二度と温かい塩水は飲まない! And I will never advise anyone to do so. I prefer being in a California earthquake, than drinking a bottle of warm salt water. 暖かい塩水のボトルを飲むよりも、カリフォルニアの地震にいるほうが好きです。 This horrible remedy did not cure my cold, and it made my stomach sick for some time. この恐ろしい治療法は私の風邪を治しませんでした、そしてそれは私の胃をしばらくの間病気にしました。

I continued to sneeze violently, to blow my nose and to destroy handkerchiefs. 私は激しくくしゃみをし続け、鼻をかみ、ハンカチを破壊しました。 My suffering grew. 私の苦しみは大きくなりました。

CHAPTER TWO

The Remedies 救済策

One day I met a woman who appeared to be one hundred and fifty years old. ある日、私は150歳のように見える女性に会いました。 She came from a deserted part of the Far West, where there were no doctors. 彼女は医者がいなかった極西の人里離れた場所から来ました。 She had years of experience helping sick people. She prepared a special mixture of molasses, aquafortis, oils and other strange drugs. 彼女は糖蜜、アクアフォルティス、オイル、その他の奇妙な薬の特別な混合物を用意しました。 She advised me to drink a glass of this mixture every fifteen minutes.

I only drank one glass of the mixture. 私は混合物の1杯だけを飲みました。 It was enough to make me crazy. 私を夢中にさせるには十分でした。 I became extremely mean and dangerous. 私は非常に意地悪で危険になりました。 My mind was full of wild thoughts. 私の心は野蛮な考えでいっぱいでした。 My behavior was horrible. I was proud of being bad!

After a few days, the effect of the horrible mixture passed. 数日後、恐ろしい混合物の影響は過ぎ去りました。 I felt a lot worse. ずっと気分が悪くなりました。 My cold passed from my head to my lungs. 風邪が頭から肺に伝わった。 I coughed every moment of the day and of the night. It was impossible to sleep. 眠ることは不可能でした。 The sound of my voice frightened me. 私の声の音は私を怖がらせた。

I got worse every day. An old friend recommended gin. I drank it. Then I drank gin with molasses. Finally, I added onions. So I had gin, molasses and onions. The smell of my breath was terrible.

CHAPTER THREE

The San Francisco Remedy サンフランシスコの救済

I decided to travel to the countryside to improve my health. 私は健康を増進するために田舎に旅行することにしました。 I went to Lake Bigler with my friend, Wilson. We traveled in a comfortable Pioneer coach. 私たちは快適なパイオニアのコーチで旅行しました。 At Lake Bigler we fished and sailed on the lake. We hunted for hours in the woods. 私たちは森の中で何時間も狩りをしました。 In the evening we danced. I enjoyed myself greatly. とても楽しかったです。 But, my illness got worse.

A tourist at Lake Bigler recommended a cold sheet-bath. ビグラー湖の観光客は冷たいシートバスを勧めました。 I never refused a remedy. 私は救済を決して拒否しませんでした。 At midnight, when it was very cold, I undressed completely. 真夜中、とても寒かったので、私は完全に服を脱ぎました。 I covered my body with a wet, ice-cold sheet. 濡れた氷のように冷たいシートで体を覆った。 I kept the sheet on my body for a long time. シートを長時間体につけていました。

It was the worst experience of my life. The wet, ice-cold sheet made my blood freeze and made my heart stop! 濡れた氷のように冷たいシートが私の血を凍らせ、心臓を止めさせました! I thought it was time for me to die.

Never take a sheet-bath - NEVER! シートバスは絶対に飲まないでください-絶対に! This is my advice to everyone.

My condition got a lot worse. Other people recommended other remedies. 他の人々は他の治療法を勧めました。 Not one of these remedies cured my cold. これらの治療法のどれも私の風邪を治しませんでした。

After a week at Lake Bigler, I decided to go to Steamboat Springs. ビッグラー湖で1週間過ごした後、私はスティームボートスプリングスに行くことにしました。 I thought that the hot baths there were good for my health. They were not. While I was at Steamboat Springs, I tried several different remedies. But I just got worse and worse. I was desperate. 私は必死でした。

I finally decided to visit the city of San Francisco. The day I arrived, a woman at the hotel told me to drink a bottle of whisky every twenty-four hours. 私が到着した日、ホテルの女性が24時間ごとにウイスキーのボトルを飲むように私に言いました。 A dear friend, who lived in San Francisco, recommended exactly the same thing: a bottle of whisky every twenty-four hours. That's two bottles of whisky. それはウイスキーの2本です。

Well, I am happy to say that this San Francisco remedy finally cured my cold!

- THE END -