A Kind of Longing (2) Eine Art von Sehnsucht (2) Una especie de anhelo (2) Une sorte de nostalgie (2) 一種の憧れ (2) 그리움의 종류 (2) Rodzaj tęsknoty (2) Um tipo de saudade (2) A Kind of Longing (2) Своєрідна туга (2)

And Roy, guessing what she meant, knew it was not the kind of thing you could shout about above the noise of the wind and the engine. 로이는 그녀가 무슨 뜻인지 짐작했지만, 바람과 엔진 소음을 뚫고 외칠 수 있는 말이 아니라는 것을 알았습니다.

After a few miles the girl said, 'My name's Kay, mister.'

Roy said his own name. It sounded strange to him.

'Well, Roy, you going to buy me a cup of coffee when we get to the next town?'

'Sure,' Roy said. 'Sure thing, Kay.'

They dropped their speed and rode into the town. It was quiet on a Sunday evening. They found the place they wanted, and got off the bike.

Her hair was long and fair and blown about by the wind. 그녀의 머리카락은 길고 곱게 바람에 흩날렸습니다. In the coffee shop he saw her face for the first time, and he felt that kind of longing from way back, and he sat down beside her, knowing what it was. 커피숍에서 처음 그녀의 얼굴을 본 그는 오래전부터 느껴온 그리움을 느꼈고, 그것이 무엇인지 알면서도 그녀 옆에 앉았습니다.

'How long were you walking back there?' '저기까지 얼마나 걸었어?' Her voice was soft and pleasant after the shouted conversation on the road. 길에서 큰 소리로 대화를 나누던 그녀의 목소리는 부드럽고 유쾌했습니다.

'Perhaps five or six miles,' Roy said. 'Nobody was interested.' '아무도 관심이 없었습니다.'

'They never are.'

'It's not the kind of thing you worry about,' he said. Das ist nichts, worüber man sich Sorgen machen muss", sagte er. "걱정할 만한 일이 아닙니다."라고 그는 말했습니다.

'No.' They sat drinking their coffee, watching and listening, getting the idea of each other. Sie saßen da und tranken ihren Kaffee, beobachteten und hörten zu und machten sich ein Bild voneinander.

'You go fishing a lot?' she said.

'Sure. Fishing. Moving around.'

'Always travel alone?' '항상 혼자 여행하시나요?'

'My friend got killed,' Roy said. Mein Freund wurde getötet", sagte Roy. "제 친구가 살해당했어요." 로이가 말했습니다. It came out like that. So ist es herausgekommen. 그렇게 나왔습니다. There was not much else that he could say. 그가 할 수 있는 말은 많지 않았습니다. He felt a kind of softness in her eyes that took him by the heart. Er spürte eine Art Sanftheit in ihren Augen, die ihn mitten ins Herz traf. 그는 그녀의 눈에서 일종의 부드러움을 느꼈고 그것은 그의 마음을 사로잡았습니다.

'What about you?' he said.

'What about me?'

'I mean, you can tell me about your brother.' He saw her eyes - their softness, the quiet hurt as his words hit her. Er sah ihre Augen - ihre Sanftheit, den leisen Schmerz, als seine Worte sie trafen. 그는 그녀의 눈동자, 그 부드러움과 그의 말이 그녀를 때릴 때의 조용한 상처를 보았습니다.

'Ross got killed in the army,' she said. 'It was his first week - just a stupid accident. He was only twenty. He fell off the back of a truck and hit his head. 트럭 뒤에서 떨어져 머리를 부딪쳤습니다. He used to do wild, crazy things all the time - but then what killed him was just a stupid accident...' 그는 항상 거칠고 미친 짓을 하곤 했는데, 그를 죽인 것은 그저 어리석은 사고였을 뿐입니다...'

He played with his spoon in the coffee.

'What about your friend?' she asked after a while.

'Plane,' Roy said. Flugzeug", sagte Roy. 'Another thing that just couldn't happen.' Eine weitere Sache, die einfach nicht passieren konnte.

He saw it in his mind - the broken plane, that moment he could never forget for the rest of his life. This was something they both knew, he and this girl: a death that you couldn't believe. And that feeling was always with you, everywhere, like a voice that whispers in your ear, 'There will never be enough road any more, enough water, enough air...' Und dieses Gefühl war immer und überall bei dir, wie eine Stimme, die dir ins Ohr flüstert: "Es wird nie mehr genug Straße geben, genug Wasser, genug Luft... 그리고 그 느낌은 '더 이상 도로도, 물도, 공기도 충분하지 않을 거야...'라고 귓가에 속삭이는 목소리처럼 항상 어디서나 여러분과 함께했습니다.

But beyond the feelings of hurt, old and new, he knew that they were telling each other the truth about themselves, not hiding things. Aber abgesehen von den verletzten Gefühlen, alten und neuen, wusste er, dass sie sich gegenseitig die Wahrheit über sich selbst sagten und nichts verheimlichten. 하지만 예나 지금이나 상처받은 감정을 넘어 서로가 숨기는 것이 아니라 자신에 대해 진실을 말하고 있다는 것을 알았습니다. Was he choosing the right words? It didn't matter. Now he asked, 'Where've you been today then, on your big bike?' 그러자 그는 '그럼 오늘 어디 갔었어, 큰 자전거를 타고?

'Tauranga.'

'Stay the weekend?' '주말에 머물러요?'

'Down this morning. It's only two hundred and sixty miles there and back,' she said. 'My father's in a kind of hospital down there. I don't stay because one visit each time is all I can do.' 매번 한 번씩 방문하는 것이 전부이기 때문에 머물지 않습니다.

'I'm sorry,' Roy said.

It was all in her eyes. In his mind, Roy saw a strong man broken - the father who would never get old, never die. 로이의 머릿속에는 결코 늙지도 죽지도 않을 것 같은 강인한 아버지의 모습이 그려졌습니다. How could you believe it, live with it? Wie können Sie das glauben und damit leben? 어떻게 믿으실 수 있을까요?

Maybe he taught them to fish, Roy thought, this girl and her brother, dead at twenty from his accident. Vielleicht hat er ihnen das Fischen beigebracht, dachte Roy, dieses Mädchen und ihr Bruder, die mit zwanzig Jahren an seinem Unfall gestorben sind. Maybe he taught them all those good things and they all had fun together, and then suddenly she looked around and she was the only one left. Vielleicht hat er ihnen all diese guten Dinge beigebracht, und sie hatten alle zusammen Spaß, und dann sah sie sich plötzlich um, und sie war die Einzige, die noch übrig war. 좋은 것들을 다 가르쳐주고 다 같이 재미있게 놀다가 갑자기 주위를 둘러보니 혼자만 남아있었나 봐요. Maybe that's why she rides the big bike. Vielleicht ist das der Grund, warum sie mit dem großen Fahrrad fährt.

The time was starting to get heavy now. Die Zeit wurde langsam schwer. 이제 시간이 무거워지기 시작했습니다.

'What do you say we get on the road?' Was hältst du davon, wenn wir uns auf den Weg machen? Kay said.

'Sure.'

They went out and Roy felt the heaviness going. It was all right if you knew when to get up and go. Es war in Ordnung, wenn man wusste, wann man aufstehen und gehen musste. They put on their crash helmets and the tall leggy girl started her bike. Roy climbed on behind her, and they went away laughing. Roy stieg hinter ihr auf, und sie fuhren lachend davon. They rode gently out of the sleepy town; then they reached the highway and the bike roared away into the night. Sie fuhren sanft aus der verschlafenen Stadt heraus, dann erreichten sie die Autobahn und das Motorrad rauschte in die Nacht hinaus.

Roy felt all right about riding on the back. Sometimes, if you weren't sure about the rider, you weren't happy when he went fast, but this girl was okay. They rode, not talking, enjoying the night ride on their big fast machine. Roy thought about the things they were passing - the cattle in the fields, the night sounds of the farms. Lights appeared and cars sped past, and he thought about all the people going places. Lichter tauchten auf, Autos fuhren vorbei, und er dachte an all die Menschen, die unterwegs waren. He felt Kay close to him, with her long friendly shoulders and her fair hair flying back from under her helmet. Er spürte Kay ganz nah bei sich, mit ihren langen, freundlichen Schultern und ihrem blonden Haar, das unter ihrem Helm hervorlugte. He could go on and on. Er könnte immer so weitermachen. He didn't care about the people who hated you before they saw you, or enjoyed watching you in trouble on the road, or let you walk because they didn't want to think about you. Er kümmerte sich nicht um die Leute, die dich hassten, bevor sie dich sahen, oder die es genossen, dich auf der Straße in Schwierigkeiten zu sehen, oder die dich gehen ließen, weil sie nicht an dich denken wollten. He felt that none of it could touch him now, or ever, that all the hurt had gone, and the shock from the deaths of friends and the bad feelings that came from people's unkind words. Er hatte das Gefühl, dass ihn das alles nicht mehr berühren konnte, dass all der Schmerz vergangen war, der Schock über den Tod von Freunden und die schlechten Gefühle, die von den unfreundlichen Worten der Menschen ausgingen.

A notice warned of bends in the road, and Kay cut their speed, and they rode the big bike down into the first bend. Ein Schild warnte vor den Kurven auf der Straße, und Kay drosselte die Geschwindigkeit.

Cars came up from down below, their lights showing the narrow road and the banks on each side. Autos kamen von unten herauf, ihre Lichter zeigten die schmale Straße und die Ufer auf beiden Seiten. Most of the cars seemed to be in too much of a hurry, Roy thought.

They reached the bottom of the narrow valley, where he knew the river ran close to the road. He thought about that clear mountain water among the trees. Then they started to climb. They rode up the hill and into the first bend. And death came down to meet them on the wrong side of the road. Und der Tod kam ihnen auf der falschen Seite der Straße entgegen.

The lights of the car were right in front of them. They had nowhere to go, and not enough time to hate the guy who was killing them. Roy put his arms round Kay. He felt his face against her shoulder, their helmets close together. Then they were off the road and into the ditch as the car went past, moving too late to its own side of the road. They went on and on, fighting the ditch, crashing into the bank, and then they were over the bank and sailing, a moment's space before the hurt that was coming. Sie fuhren weiter und weiter, kämpften gegen den Graben, prallten gegen das Ufer, und dann waren sie über das Ufer und segelten, einen Augenblick vor dem kommenden Schmerz. They crashed down the bank, and Roy held tight to Kay, and they were off the bike and dying together, and the ground came up to knock the life out of his body, and he reached for Kay as he fell. Sie stürzten die Böschung hinunter, und Roy hielt sich an Kay fest, und sie waren vom Motorrad runter und starben zusammen, und der Boden kam hoch und schlug ihm das Leben aus dem Leib, und er griff nach Kay, als er fiel. Impossibly, he was still alive, but as he fell, crashed, broke, he didn't care - he only reached for Kay, longed for her. Unmöglich, dass er noch lebte, aber als er fiel, abstürzte, zerbrach, war es ihm egal - er griff nur nach Kay, sehnte sich nach ihr.

He came to rest; there was a taste of blood and a whisper of pain through the shock, and he felt cold water around him. Er kam zur Ruhe; durch den Schock hindurch schmeckte er den Geschmack von Blut und einen Hauch von Schmerz, und er spürte kaltes Wasser um sich herum. He lay in the icy water of the ditch, and knew he was still alive. Er lag im eiskalten Wasser des Grabens und wusste, dass er noch am Leben war. Then he was moving along the ditch on hands and knees, searching for Kay through the pain and shock. Dann bewegte er sich auf Händen und Knien den Graben entlang und suchte durch den Schmerz und den Schock hindurch nach Kay.

He pulled himself along the ditch until he found her. Er zog sich den Graben entlang, bis er sie fand. She was lying face down. Sie lag mit dem Gesicht nach unten. He touched her, and turned her over as gently as he could. Er berührte sie und drehte sie so sanft wie möglich um.

Time had stopped. Die Zeit war stehen geblieben. It was like a bad dream, made of all the deaths that had gone before. Es war wie ein böser Traum, der aus all den vorangegangenen Todesfällen bestand. He said her name, and it came thick and strange through his painful lips. Er sagte ihren Namen, und er kam dick und fremd über seine schmerzenden Lippen. She looked at him and he waited for an impossible moment, and then she began to cry as the shock hit her, and that was all the hope he needed. Sie sah ihn an, und er wartete einen unmöglichen Moment lang, dann begann sie zu weinen, als der Schock sie traf, und das war alles, was er an Hoffnung brauchte.

He took off her helmet, and gently pushed her hair back, and somewhere above them, he heard voices and a crashing sound as help came. Er nahm ihr den Helm ab und strich ihr sanft das Haar zurück, und irgendwo über ihnen hörte er Stimmen und ein krachendes Geräusch, als Hilfe kam. Он снял с нее шлем и осторожно откинул ее волосы назад, и где-то над ними он услышал голоса и грохот подоспевшей помощи. The pain in his legs began to come alive. Боль в ногах начала оживать. He put his arm around Kay, loving the life that returned as she cried life and pain coming together. Er legte seinen Arm um Kay und freute sich über das Leben, das zurückkehrte, als sie weinte und Leben und Schmerz zusammenkamen. Он обнял Кей, любя жизнь, которая вернулась, когда она плакала, что жизнь и боль сливаются воедино. And that was all the hope he needed. И это была вся надежда, в которой он нуждался. He guessed it must be all the hope in the world. Er vermutete, dass dies die einzige Hoffnung auf der Welt sein musste. Он догадался, что это, должно быть, вся надежда в мире.

Because, for all the time that it lasted, they would have it together. Denn so lange es dauerte, würden sie es zusammen haben.

- THE END -