Hoofdstuk 20 chapter Chapter 20

Buiten sneeuwde het met groote vlokken; de meid hield de deur open. outside|it snowed|it|with|large|flakes|the|maid|she kept|the|door|open Outside, it was snowing with large flakes; the maid held the door open.

- Maar uw rijtuig is er nog niet, mevrouw... but|your|carriage|is|there|still|not|madam - But your carriage is not here yet, madam...

- Het doet er niet toe... Wij zullen te voet gaan. it|does|it|not|matter|we|will|to|foot|go - It doesn't matter... We will go on foot.

- Toch een beetje overdreven... van mama... meende Van der Welcke aan de deur. |a|little|exaggerated|from|mom|thought|from|the|Welcke|at|the|door - Still a bit exaggerated... from mom... thought Van der Welcke at the door. Moeten we nu door dat weêr... naar Gerrit? must|we|now|through|that|weather|to|Gerrit Do we have to go through this weather... to Gerrit? Is Addy er ook al heen...? is|Addy|there|also|already|there Is Addy already there...? Was mama zoo ongerust... Het is een dichte sneeuw, Constance... Het is om ziek te worden, daardoor heen te gaan. was|mom|so|worried|it|is|a|heavy|snow|Constance|it|is|to|sick|to|become|through that|through|| Was mom so worried... It's a heavy snow, Constance... It's enough to get sick going through it.

- Blijf dan maar, Henri. stay|then|but|Henri - Then stay, Henri.

- Ga je toch? go|you|anyway - Are you going then?

- Ja... mama had het gaarne. yes|mom|had|it|gladly - Yes... mom would have liked it.

- Maar het is overdreven! but|it|is|exaggerated - But it's exaggerated!

- Misschien wel... Maar zij had het gaarne... Wie weet hoe lang we haar nog een pleizier kunnen doen. |indeed|but|she|had|it|gladly|who|knows|how|long|we|her|still|a|pleasure|can|do - Maybe so... But she would have liked it... Who knows how long we can still please her.

- Zend het rijtuig dan naar de Bankastraat... als het straks komt...       - Goed, meneer. send|it|carriage|then|to|the|Bankastraat|if|it|soon|comes|good|sir - Then send the carriage to Bankastraat... when it comes later... - Alright, sir.

Zij gingen... they|went They left...

- Is Addy niet pas gegaan? |Addy|not|just|left - Has Addy just left?

- Ja, een paar minuten voor ons. yes|a|few|minutes|before|us - Yes, a few minutes ahead of us.

- Ik zie hem niet meer. I|see|him|not|anymore - I can't see him anymore.

- Hij loopt hard. he|runs|fast - He is running fast.

- Was mama zoo ongerust? was|mom|so|worried - Was mom that worried?

- Ja... ze was heel nerveus. yes|she|was|very|nervous - Yes... she was very nervous.

- Gaan de anderen ook weg? are going|the|others|also|away - Are the others leaving too?

- Ja... mama was moê... Toch rekent ze er op... dat we straks even terugkomen. yes|mom|was|tired|still|counts|she|on it|on|that|we|soon|briefly|come back - Yes... mom was tired... Still, she is counting on us... to come back for a bit later.

- Mama wordt erg veeleischend... mom|becomes|very|demanding - Mom is becoming very demanding...

- Ze wordt zoo oud... Laten we haar maar dat pleizier doen... even te gaan. she|becomes|so|old|let|us|her|but|that|pleasure|to do|just|to|to go - She is getting so old... Let's do her that pleasure... to go for a bit.

Wat was haar toon verzacht... Vroeger - o vroeger... om minder dan dit verschil zoû zij heftig tegen hem zijn uitgevaren, bedacht ze... Nu... o nu... Hoe was dat alles in haar verzacht! what|was|her|tone|softened|earlier|oh|earlier|to|less|than|this|difference|would|she|intensely|against|him|to be|to have sailed out|thought|she|now|oh|now|how|was|that|everything|in|her|softened How her tone has softened... In the past - oh in the past... for less than this difference she would have fiercely lashed out at him, she thought... Now... oh now... How everything has softened in her!

Zij strompelde door de sneeuw... she|stumbled|through|the|snow She stumbled through the snow...

- Pas op... Constance... De sneeuw is glad. just|watch out|Constance|the|snow|is|slippery - Be careful... Constance... The snow is slippery. Neem mijn arm. take|my|arm Take my arm.

- Neen, ik kan wel. no|I|can|indeed - No, I can manage.

- Neem mijn arm... take|my|arm - Take my arm...

Zij nam zijn arm. she|took|his|arm She took his arm. Zij glipte weêr uit, hij hield haar op. she|slipped|again|out|he|held|her|up She slipped away again, he held her back. Hij voelde, dat zij beefde. he|felt|that|she|trembled He felt that she was trembling.

- Heb je het koud? have|you|it|cold - Are you cold? - Neen... no - No...

- Je hebt toch een dikken mantel. you|have|after all|a|thick|coat - You have a thick coat.

- Ik heb het niet koud... I|have|it|not|cold - I'm not cold...

- Waarom ben je zoo nerveus? why|am|you|so|nervous - Why are you so nervous?

- Ik weet het niet... I|know|it|not - I don't know...

- Je bent al een tijdje nerveus... Je huilt soms... om niets. you|are|already|a|while|nervous|you|cry|sometimes|for|nothing - You've been nervous for a while... You sometimes cry... for no reason.

- Ja... Ik weet het niet... Het is niets... Het is het weêr... yes|I|know|it|not|it|is|nothing|it|is|the|weather - Yes... I don't know... It's nothing... It's the weather...

- Ja... onze Hollandsche lucht... Nu... eindelijk... heeft het iets van winter. yes|our|Dutch|air|now|finally|has|it|something|of|winter - Yes... our Dutch sky... Now... finally... it has something of winter. Het vriest, dat het kraakt. it|freezes|that|it|creaks It's freezing, it's cracking. De sneeuw knerpt onder je voeten. the|snow|crunches|under|your|feet The snow crunches under your feet.

Zij glipte weêr uit. she|slipped|again|out She slipped again. Hij hield haar op en zij liepen dicht aan elkaâr, in de sneeuwjacht, die hen verblindde... he|stopped|her|up|and|they|walked|close|to|each other|in|the|snowstorm|that|them|blinded He held her back and they walked closely together, in the snowstorm, which blinded them...

- Het is toch overdreven van mama... om ons door dat weêr heen te zenden... it|is|really|exaggerated|of|mom|to|us|through|that|weather|through|to|send - It's really excessive of mom... to send us out in that weather...

Zij antwoordde niet meer; zij begreep, dat hij het overdreven vond. she|answered|not|anymore|she|understood|that|he|it|exaggerated|found She no longer answered; she understood that he found it exaggerated. Haar was de keel toegeknepen, en het scheen haar, nu zij telkens zoo glipte, of zij nooit de Bankastraat zouden bereiken. her|was|the|throat|constricted|and|it|seemed|her|now|she|each time|so|slipped|whether|they|never|the|Bankastraat|would|reach Her throat was constricted, and it seemed to her, as she kept slipping, that they would never reach Bankastraat. Zij sloegen nu het Nassauplein om... En zij berekende: nog een kleine tien minuten, dan een oogenblik bij Gerrit, en Adeline... het rijtuig zoû hen daar halen... dan terug naar mama... om mama gerust te       stellen... met Addy... En terwijl zij zoo berekende, werd zij kalmer en vond zij, als Henri, het wel wat overdreven van mama. she|they turned|now|the|Nassau Square|around|and|she|calculated|still|a|small|ten|minutes|then|a|moment|at|Gerrit|and|Adeline|the|carriage|would|them|there|pick up|then|back|to|mom|to|mom|calm|to|reassure|with|Addy|and|while|she|so|calculated|became|she|calmer|and|found|she|as|Henri|it|well|somewhat|exaggerated|of|mom They now turned around Nassauplein... And she calculated: just a little ten minutes more, then a moment with Gerrit, and Adeline... the carriage would pick them up there... then back to mama... to reassure mama... with Addy... And while she calculated this, she became calmer and found, like Henri, that it was a bit exaggerated of mama. Zij zette haar voeten vaster; zij liep nu steviger voort aan den arm van haar man. she|set|her|feet|firmer|she|walked|now|more firmly|on|on|the|arm|of|her|husband She planted her feet more firmly; she walked more steadily now on the arm of her husband. Was het de koû, of wat was het... maar telkens rilde zij met een ijzige huivering... Nu eindelijk, naderden zij de Bankastraat en het huis van Gerrit; scheen het haar niet of zij een geheelen avond geloopen hadden door de moeilijke, knerpende sneeuw? was|it|the|cold|or|what|was|it|but|each time|she shivered|she|with|a|icy|shiver|now|finally|they approached|they|the|Bankastraat|and|the|house|of|Gerrit|it seemed|it|to her|not|or|they|a|whole|evening|walked|they had|through|the|difficult|crunching|snow Was it the cold, or what was it... but she shivered with an icy tremor each time... Now finally, they approached Bankastraat and Gerrit's house; it seemed to her as if they had been walking the whole evening through the difficult, crunching snow? Plotseling stond zij stil. suddenly|she stopped|she|still Suddenly she stopped.

- Henri... stamelde zij. Henri|she stammered|she - Henri... she stammered.

- Wat? what - What?

- Ik... ik durf niet... I|I|dare|not - I... I don't dare...

- Wat durf je niet? what|dare|you|not - What don't you dare?

- Ik durf niet bellen. I|dare|not|to call - I don't dare to call.

- Waarom niet? why|not - Why not?

- Ik durf niet binnen gaan. I|dare|not|inside|to go - I don't dare to go inside.

- Wat heb je dan... what|have|you|then - What do you have then...

- Niets... ik ben bang. nothing|I|am|afraid - Nothing... I'm scared. Ik durf niet. I|dare|not I don't dare.

- Maar Constance... but|Constance - But Constance...

- Henri... ik ril zoo... Henri|I|shiver|so - Henri... I'm shivering so...

- Ben je niet wel? am|you|not|well - Aren't you okay?

- Neen... ik ben bang... no|I|am|afraid - No... I'm scared...

- Kom Constance, waarvoor ben je bang... Nu we er zijn... laten we nu bellen... Wat wil je anders... Hier is het. come|Constance|for what|am|you|afraid|now|we|there|are|let|us|now|call|what|want|you|otherwise|here|is|it - Come on Constance, what are you afraid of... Now that we are here... let's call now... What do you want otherwise... Here it is. Hij belde... Zij wachtten; men opende niet en de sneeuw sloeg hun in het gezicht. he|called|they|waited|one|opened|not|and|the|snow|hit|them|in|the|face He called... They waited; no one opened and the snow hit their faces.

- Er is toch licht... zeide hij. there|is|still|light|said|he - There is still light... he said. Ze zijn nog niet naar bed... they|are|still|not|to|bed They haven't gone to bed yet...

- En Addy... and|Addy - And Addy...

- Addy moet er wel binnen zijn. Addy|must|there|indeed|inside|be - Addy must be inside.

- Bel nog eens. call|again|once - Call again.

Hij belde. he|called He called.

Zij wachtten... Stil bleef in de sneeuwjacht de gevel van het huis, maar er was licht bijna aan alle ramen. they|waited|quiet|remained|in|the|snowstorm|the|facade|of|the|house|but|there|was|light|almost|at|all|windows They waited... Quietly, the facade of the house remained in the snowstorm, but there was light in almost all the windows.

- O... Henri! oh|Henri - Oh... Henri!

Hij belde. he|called He called.

- O... Henri...! oh|Henri - Oh... Henri...! begon zij te snikken... Ik ben bang... Ik ben bang... she began|she|to|sobbing|I|am|afraid|I|am|afraid she began to sob... I am scared... I am scared...

Het was haar of zij zonk in de sneeuw, in een donsdiepen afgrond. it|was|her|or|she|sank|in|the|snow|in|a|deep|abyss It was as if she was sinking into the snow, into a deep abyss. Haar knieën knikten, en hij zag, dat zij zonk, ineen. her|knees|buckled|and|he|saw|that|she|sank|collapsing Her knees buckled, and he saw that she was sinking, collapsing. Hij steunde haar en half flauw viel zij tegen hem aan... Hij belde... he|supported|her|and|half|faint|fell|she|against|him|on|he|called He supported her and she half fainted against him... He called...

De deur werd geopend. the|door|was|opened The door was opened. Het was Addy... die opende. it|was|Addy|who|opened It was Addy... who opened. Zij traden nu binnen, Constance wankelde... En het was door hare halve duizelflauwte of zij in het huis het vlokkende sneeuwen zag, door het dak, binnen de kamers, binnen de gang, en het gelaat van haar zoon scheen door die vreemde sneeuw haar toe te spoken, heel bleek, met de blauwe vlam van       zijn groote oogen... Op dit oogenblik klonk van boven een lange schreeuw, een uitgerekte snik, uitgestooten in een marteling van wanhoop en door heel den sneeuwnacht, binnen en buiten, scheen van heel verre... heel verre... die snik Constance toe te schreeuwen uit het lichaam van Adeline. they|entered|now|inside|Constance|staggered|and|it|was|through|her|half|faintness|or|she|in|the|house|the|flaking|snowing|saw|through|the|roof|inside|the|rooms|inside|the|hallway|and|the|face|of|her|son|seemed|through|that|strange|snow|her|to|to|spoken|very|pale|with|the|blue|flame|of|his|large|eyes|at|this|moment|sounded|from|above|a|long|scream|a|prolonged|sob|emitted|in|a|torment|of|despair|and|through|all|the|snow night|inside|and|outside|seemed|from|very|far|||that|sob|Constance|to|to|scream|from|the|body|of|Adeline They now entered, Constance staggered... And it was through her half-fainting that she saw the flaking snow inside the house, through the roof, inside the rooms, inside the hallway, and the face of her son seemed to haunt her through that strange snow, very pale, with the blue flame of his large eyes... At that moment, a long scream echoed from above, a prolonged sob, emitted in a torment of despair and throughout the snowy night, inside and outside, it seemed from very far away... very far away... that sob was screaming at Constance from the body of Adeline.

- Mama... Papa... Stil... Oom Gerrit... Oom Gerrit is... dood... Oom Gerrit heeft zich... mom|dad|quiet|uncle|Gerrit|uncle|Gerrit|is|dead|uncle|Gerrit|has|himself - Mama... Papa... Quiet... Uncle Gerrit... Uncle Gerrit is... dead... Uncle Gerrit has...

Het sneeuwde, in Constance's duizeling, terwijl zij de trap opging... met haar man... met haar zoon... het sneeuwde verblindend met al die sneeuw der vergetelheid... het sneeuwde om haar rond... En daardoor schril ten tweede maal... schreeuwde de lange wanhoopsnik van Adeline... it|snowed|in|Constance's|dizziness|while|she|the|stairs|went up|with|her|husband|with|her|son|it|snowed|blinding|with|all|that|snow|of|oblivion|it|snowed|around|her|around|and|therefore|shrill|for|second|time|she screamed|the|long|despairing cry|of|Adeline It was snowing, in Constance's dizziness, as she went up the stairs... with her husband... with her son... it was snowing blindingly with all that snow of oblivion... it was snowing around her... And therefore shrill for the second time... the long wail of despair from Adeline screamed...

Boven de kamers open... de meiden... kleine Marietje, in haar ponnetje huiverend kijkend om de deur... Open de kleine kamer van Gerrit en op den grond het groote lichaam of het nog grooter zich strekte... en er bij, bij het groote lichaam, op de knieën gezonken... de vrouw... de kleine, de blonde vrouw... En voor de derde maal schreeuwde haar wanhoopssnik. above|the|rooms|open|the|girls|little|Marietje|in|her|poncho|shivering|looking|around|the|door|open|the|small|room|of|Gerrit|and|on|the|ground|the|large|body|or|the|even|larger|itself|stretched|and|there|by|by|the|large|body|on|the|knees|sunk|the|woman|the|little|the|blonde|woman|and|for|the|third|time|she screamed|her|despairing cry Above the rooms open... the maids... little Marietje, shivering in her poncho looking around the door... Open the small room of Gerrit and on the ground the large body or the even larger one stretched out... and there, by the large body, sunk to her knees... the woman... the small, the blonde woman... And for the third time her wail of despair screamed.

- Adeline!! Adeline - Adeline!! Nu zag zij om... nu strekte zij de armen hoog... nu voelde zij om zich de armen van haar zuster... Constance... now|she saw|she|around|now|she stretched|she|the|arms|high|now|she felt|she|around|herself|the|arms|of|her|sister|Constance Now she looked around... now she stretched her arms high... now she felt around her the arms of her sister... Constance...

- Hij is dood!! he|is|dead - He is dead!! Hij is dood! he|is|dead He is dead! ! - Neen... Adeline... hij is misschien flauw gevallen. no|Adeline|he|is|maybe|faint|fallen ! - No... Adeline... he might have just fainted. - Hij is dood! he|is|dead - He is dead! Hij is dood! he|is|dead He is dead! Hij is koud... nat... bloed... he|is|cold|wet|blood He is cold... wet... blood... Voel...! feel Feel...! ! Zij stiet uit een kreet van afgrijzen, de kleine, de blonde vrouw. she|let out|out|a|scream|of|horror|the|small|the|blonde|woman ! She let out a cry of horror, the small, the blonde woman. En plotseling... overeind... keek zij naar het wapenrek... Ja, den revolver, die er mistte... krampte zijn stijve hand. and|suddenly|upright|she looked|she|at|the|gun rack|yes|the|revolver|that|there|was missing|he clenched|his|stiff|hand And suddenly... upright... she looked at the weapon rack... Yes, the revolver that was missing... his stiff hand cramped.

Van der Welcke, Addy sloten de deuren... Buiten snikten de meiden... Maar kleine stemmen klonken; en tegen de dichte deur bonsden vuisten, klein: from|the|Welcke|Addy|they closed|the|doors|outside|they sobbed|the|girls|but|small|voices|they sounded|and|against|the|thick|door|they knocked|fists|small Van der Welcke, Addy closed the doors... Outside, the girls were sobbing... But small voices were heard; and against the thick door, small fists knocked:

- Mama! mom - Mama! Mama! mom Mama! Mama! Mom! Tante Constance, tante Constance! Aunt Constance, Aunt Constance!

Zij, duizelflauw, rees op, niet wetende waar te gaan, waar te blijven... |dizzy|||||||||| She, fainting, rose up, not knowing where to go, where to stay...

- Constance, Constance...! - Constance, Constance...! riep haar Adeline terug, en hield haar in de armen. called|her|Adeline|back|and|held|her|in|the|arms called her Adeline back, and held her in her arms.

- Mama! Mom - Mama! Mama! Mom Mama! Tante Constance, tante Constance! Aunt|Constance|aunt|Constance Aunt Constance, aunt Constance!

! Zij richtte zich op, zij drong haar duizelflauwte terug diep in haar... en nu het       lijf van de blonde, de kleine vrouw kermde op het lijf van den dooden man... nu opende zij de deur... Was heel het huis dan verlicht! she|directed|herself|up|she|pushed|her|faintness|back|deep|in|her|and|now|the|body|of|the|blonde|the|small|woman|moaned|on|the|body|of|the|dead|man|now|opened|she|the|door|was|whole|the|house|then|lit ! She straightened up, she pushed her faintness deep inside her... and now the body of the blonde, the small woman writhed on the body of the dead man... now she opened the door... Was the whole house lit! Wat moesten de meiden zoo snikken... Was het dan zoo, was het dan zoo...? what|had to|the|girls|so|sobbing|was|it|then|so|was|it|then|so What were the girls crying about... Was it really like that, was it really like that...? Was dat kleine Marietje, die haar omklemde, rillende in haar ponnetje... Waren dat Guy en Alex... den slaap nog in de zachte oogen, en brutaal de kleine mondjes... Was dat bange Gerdy en kleine Constant! was|that|small|Marietje|who|her|embraced|shivering|in|her|poncho|were|that|Guy|and|Alex|the|sleep|still|in|the|soft|eyes|and|cheeky|the|small|mouths|was|that|scared|Gerdy|and|small|Constant Was that little Marietje, who clung to her, shivering in her poncho... Were those Guy and Alex... still sleepy in their soft eyes, and cheeky with their little mouths... Was that scared Gerdy and little Constant!

- Tante Constance, tante Constance! Aunt|Constance|aunt|Constance - Aunt Constance, aunt Constance!

Neen, zij duizelde niet; zij viel niet flauw... no|she|felt dizzy|not|she|fell|not|faint No, she did not feel dizzy; she did not faint...

- Kinderen... mijn lieve kinderen... stil! children|my|dear|children|quiet - Children... my dear children... quiet! Stil... quiet Quiet...

En zij voerde ze terug in de slaapkamer... Wat kon zij ze anders doen dan ze omhelzen, dan ze drukken tegen zich aan... and|she|led|them|back|into|the|bedroom|what|could|she|them|otherwise|do|than|them|embrace|than|them|press|against|herself|to And she led them back into the bedroom... What else could she do but embrace them, press them against her...

- Kinderen, lieve kinderen... children|dear|children - Children, dear children...

De wanhoopssnik schreeuwde... O zij moest terug naar die arme vrouw... O zij had geen armen genoeg, zij had geen leven genoeg! the|despairing cry|she screamed|oh|she|had to|back|to|that|poor|woman|oh|she|had|no|arms|enough|she|had|no|life|enough The desperate cry screamed... Oh she had to go back to that poor woman... Oh she didn't have enough arms, she didn't have enough life! O, zij moest haar leven nu vertienvoudigen! oh|she|had to|her|life|now|multiply by ten Oh, she had to multiply her life tenfold now!

- Mama... mom - Mama...

Het was Addy. it|was|Addy It was Addy.

- Daar is het rijtuig... Ik ga naar dokter Alsma... De meid is naar een anderen dokter, hier in de buurt...       - Ja kind... en dan... en dan... ga dan naar... o ga, dan naar grootmama!! there|is|the|carriage|I|go|to|doctor|Alsma|the|girl|is|to|a|other|doctor|here|in|the|area|yes|child|and|then||then|go|then|to|||||grandma - There is the carriage... I'm going to doctor Alsma... The maid has gone to another doctor, here in the area... - Yes child... and then... and then... go then to... oh go, then to grandma!! Ze wacht ons! she|waits|for us She is waiting for us! Ik weet zeker, ze wacht ons! I|know|sure|she|waits|for us I am sure, she is waiting for us! Kinderen, hier, blijf hier! children|here|stay|here Children, here, stay here! Zeg haar... zeg haar nog niets... zeg haar... zeg haar, dat... say|to her|say|to her|yet|nothing|say|to her|||that Tell her... tell her nothing yet... tell her... tell her that...

De wanhoopssnik schreeuwde. the|despairing sob|screamed The desperate sob screamed. En zij waren niet meer dan twee... nu Addy ging... zij waren niet meer dan twee, machteloos, - zij en Henri - in dien nacht, van dood en van sneeuw, of de dood sneeuwde buiten, of de dood sneeuwde in het hel verlichtte huis binnen... met zijn alles verblankende vereffening... hel licht... hel blank: zij waren niet meer dan twee... and|they|were|not|more|than|two|now|Addy|went|they|were|not|more|than|two|powerless|they|and|Henri|in|that|night|of|death|and|of|snow|or|the|death|snowed|outside|or|the|death|snowed|in|the|hell|lit|house|inside|with|his|everything|blanketing|reckoning|hell|light|hell|white|they|were|not|more|than|two And they were no more than two... now that Addy was gone... they were no more than two, powerless, - she and Henri - on that night, of death and of snow, or death was snowing outside, or death was snowing in the hell-lit house inside... with its all-blanketing settlement... hell light... hell white: they were no more than two...