(V)How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking -Part Three (1)
(V)Wie Sie Menschen für Ihre Denkweise gewinnen - Teil drei (1)
(V)Cómo ganar a la gente para su forma de pensar - Tercera parte (1)
(V)Comment gagner les gens à votre façon de penser - Troisième partie (1)
(V)人を自分の考え方に引き込む方法 - その3 (1)
(V)Jak przekonać ludzi do swojego sposobu myślenia - część trzecia (1)
(V)Como conquistar pessoas para a sua maneira de pensar - Terceira parte (1)
(V)Как привлечь людей к своему образу мышления - часть третья (1)
(V)İnsanları Düşünce Tarzınıza Nasıl Kazanırsınız -Üçüncü Bölüm (1)
(V)如何赢得人们认同你的思维方式——第三部分(一)
Part Three - How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking
1 You Can't Win An Argument
1 Man kann ein Argument nicht gewinnen
Shortly after the close of World War I, I learned an invaluable lesson
Pouco depois do fim da Primeira Guerra Mundial, aprendi uma lição inestimável
one night in London.
I was manager at the time for Sir Ross Smith.
Na altura, eu era gerente de Sir Ross Smith.
During the war, Sir Ross had been the Australian ace out in
Während des Krieges war Sir Ross das australische Ass auf dem
Pendant la guerre, Sir Ross était l’as australien à
Durante a guerra, Sir Ross tinha sido o ás australiano em
Palestine; and shortly after peace was declared, he astonished the
Palestina; e pouco depois de declarada a paz, surpreendeu os
world by flying halfway around it in thirty days.
monde en volant à mi-chemin en trente jours.
mundo, dando meia volta ao mundo em trinta dias.
No such feat had
Não houve tal proeza
ever been attempted before.
nunca foi tentado antes.
It created a tremendous sensation.
The
Australian government awarded him fifty thousand dollars; the
O governo australiano concedeu-lhe cinquenta mil dólares; o
of England knighted him; and, for a while, he was the most talked-
about man under the Union Jack.
I was attending a banquet one
night given in Sir Ross's honor; and during the dinner, the man
sitting next to me told a humorous story which hinged on the
der neben mir saß, erzählte eine lustige Geschichte, die sich um die
坐在我旁边讲了一个幽默的故事,该故事取决于
quotation "There's a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them
Zitat "Es gibt eine Gottheit, die unsere Ziele formt, sie rauht
how we will.
The raconteur mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible.
He
was wrong.
I knew that, I knew it positively.
There couldn't be the
Não pode haver a
slightest doubt about it.
a menor dúvida sobre isso.
And so, to get a feeling of importance and
display my superiority, I appointed myself as an unsolicited and
unwelcome committee of one to correct him.
ein unwillkommener Ausschuss, der ihn korrigiert.
He stuck to his guns.
Er blieb bei seinen Waffen.
What?
From Shakespeare?
Impossible!
Absurd!
That quotation was
from the Bible.
And he knew it.
The storyteller was sitting on my right; and Frank Gammond, an old
Der Geschichtenerzähler saß zu meiner Rechten, und Frank Gammond, ein alter
friend of mine, was seated at my left.
Mr. Gammond had devoted
Mr. Gammond hatte sich der
years to the study of Shakespeare, So the storyteller and I agreed to
submit the question to Mr. Gammond.
Mr. Gammond listened, kicked
me under the table, and then said: "Dale, you are wrong.
mich unter den Tisch, und sagte dann: "Dale, du irrst dich.
The
gentleman is right.
It is from the Bible. "
On our way home that night, I said to Mr. Gammond: "Frank, you
knew that quotation was from Shakespeare,"
"Yes, of course," he replied, "Hamlet, Act Five, Scene Two.
But we
were guests at a festive occasion, my dear Dale.
Why prove to a
man he is wrong?
Is that going to make him like you?
Why not let
him save his face?
He didn't ask for your opinion.
He didn't want it.
Why argue with him?
Always avoid the acute angle.
Vermeiden Sie immer den spitzen Winkel.
Sempre evite o ângulo agudo.
" The man who
said that taught me a lesson I'll never forget.
I not only had made
the storyteller uncomfortable, but had put my friend in an
embarrassing situation.
How much better it would have been had I
not become argumentative.
nicht streitlustig werden.
It was a sorely needed lesson because I had been an inveterate
arguer.
During my youth, I had argued with my brother about
everything under the Milky Way.
When I went to college, I studied
logic and argumentation and went in for debating contests.
Talk
about being from Missouri, I was born there.
I had to be shown.
Later, I taught debating and argumentation in New York; and once, I
am ashamed to admit, I planned to write a book on the subject.
Since then, I have listened to, engaged in, and watched the effect of
Seitdem habe ich zugehört, mich damit beschäftigt und beobachtet, wie sich die
thousands of arguments.
As a result of all this, I have come to the
conclusion that there is only one way under high heaven to get the
best of an argument - and that is to avoid it .
Avoid it as you would avoid rattlesnakes and earthquakes.
Meiden Sie sie wie Klapperschlangen und Erdbeben.
Nine times out of ten, an argument ends with each of the
contestants more firmly convinced than ever that he is absolutely
right.
You can't win an argument.
You can't because if you lose it, you lose
it; and if you win it, you lose it.
Why?
Well, suppose you triumph
Angenommen, Sie triumphieren
over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove
that he is non compos mentis.
dass er nicht zurechnungsfähig ist.
Then what?
You will feel fine.
But
what about him?
You have made him feel inferior.
You have hurt his
pride.
He will resent your triumph.
Er wird Ihnen Ihren Triumph übel nehmen.
And -
A man convinced against his will Is of the same opinion still.
Ein Mann, der gegen seinen Willen überzeugt ist, ist immer noch der gleichen Meinung.
Years ago Patrick J. O'Haire joined one of my classes.
He had had
little education, and how he loved a scrap!
wenig Bildung, und er liebte es, sich zu streiten!
pouca educação, e como ele adorava uma sucata!
He had once been a
chauffeur, and he came to me because he had been trying, without
much success, to sell trucks.
muito sucesso, para vender camiões.
A little questioning brought out the fact
Um pequeno interrogatório revelou o facto
that he was continually scrapping with and antagonizing the very
que ele estava continuamente a discutir e a antagonizar os próprios
people he was trying to do business with, If a prospect said anything
pessoas com quem estava a tentar fazer negócio, Se um potencial cliente dissesse alguma coisa
derogatory about the trucks he was selling, Pat saw red and was
depreciativo sobre os camiões que estava a vender, Pat viu vermelho e foi
right at the customer's throat.
direkt an der Kehle des Kunden.
diretamente na garganta do cliente.
Pat won a lot of arguments in those
days.
As he said to me afterward, "I often walked out of an office
Como ele me disse mais tarde, "muitas vezes saí de um escritório
saving: 'I told that bird something.
a poupar: "Eu disse uma coisa àquele pássaro.
' Sure I had told him something,
Claro que lhe tinha dito alguma coisa,
but I hadn't sold him anything.
mas eu não lhe tinha vendido nada.
My first problem was not to teach Patrick J. O'Haire to talk.
My
immediate task was to train him to refrain from talking and to avoid
verbal fights.
lutas verbais.
Mr.
O'Haire became one of the star salesmen for the White Motor
Company in New York.
How did he do it?
Here is his story in his own
words: "If I walk into a buyer's office now and he says: 'What?
White truck?
Camião branco?
They're no good!
Eles não são bons!
I wouldn't take one if you gave it to me.
Não aceitaria um nem que mo dessem.
I'm going
to buy the Whose-It truck,' I say, 'The Whose-It is a good truck.
den Whose-It-LKW zu kaufen", sage ich, "Der Whose-It ist ein guter LKW.
para comprar o camião Whose-It", eu digo: "O Whose-It é um bom camião.
If
you buy the Whose-It, you'll never make a mistake.
se comprar o Whose-It, nunca se enganará.
The Whose-Its
O "Quem é que é?
are made by a fine company and sold by good people.
"He is speechless then.
"Então ele fica sem palavras.
There is no room for an argument.
Não há lugar para discussões.
If he says
the Whose-It is best and I say sure it is, he has to stop.
o "Quem é que é melhor" e eu digo que é mesmo, ele tem de parar.
He can't
keep on all afternoon saying, 'It's the best' when I'm agreeing with
den ganzen Nachmittag lang zu sagen: "Es ist das Beste", wenn ich der Meinung bin, dass
him.
We then get off the subject of Whose-It and I begin to talk
Saímos então do tema "De quem é?" e eu começo a falar
about the good points of the White truck.
sobre os pontos positivos do camião branco.
"There was a time when a remark like his first one would have made
"Es gab eine Zeit, in der eine Bemerkung wie seine erste
"Houve uma altura em que um comentário como o primeiro teria feito
me see scarlet and red and orange.
vejo escarlate, vermelho e laranja.
I would start arguing against the
Whose-It; and the more I argued against it, the more my prospect
De quem é; e quanto mais eu argumentava contra isso, mais a minha perspetiva
argued in favor of it; and the more he argued, the more he sold
himself on my competitor's product.
sobre o produto do meu concorrente.
"As I look back now I wonder how I was ever able to sell anything.
"Quando olho para trás, pergunto-me como é que alguma vez consegui vender alguma coisa.
lost years of my life in scrapping and arguing.
verlorene Jahre meines Lebens mit Schrott und Streit.
perdi anos da minha vida a fazer scraps e a discutir.
I keep my mouth shut
Ich halte den Mund
Mantenho a minha boca fechada
now.
It pays. "
As wise old Ben Franklin used to say:
Como o velho e sábio Ben Franklin costumava dizer:
If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory
Wenn du streitest und stänkerst und widersprichst, kannst du einen Sieg erringen
Se discutires, te irritares e te contradisseres, talvez consigas uma vitória
sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get
por vezes; mas será uma vitória vazia porque nunca conseguirá
your opponent's good will.
a boa vontade do teu adversário.
So figure it out for yourself.
Which would you rather have, an
O que é que preferia ter, um
academic, theatrical victory or a person's good will?
a vitória académica, teatral ou a boa vontade de uma pessoa?
You can seldom
Sie können nur selten
Raramente se pode
have both.
The Boston Transcript once printed this bit of significant doggerel:
Das Boston Transcript druckte einst diese bedeutungsschwere Phrase:
O Boston Transcript publicou uma vez este pedaço de doggerel significativo:
Here lies the body of William Jay, .
Aqui jaz o corpo de William Jay, .
Who died maintaining his right of
way-He was right, dead right, as he sped along, But he's just as
Ele tinha razão, toda a razão, enquanto acelerava, Mas ele é tão
dead as if he were wrong.
morto como se estivesse errado.
You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument;
Pode ser que tenha razão, muita razão, à medida que avança na sua argumentação;
but as far as changing another's mind is concerned, you will probably
mas no que diz respeito a mudar a mente de outra pessoa, provavelmente
be just as futile as if you were wrong.
é tão inútil como se estivesse errado.
Frederick S. Parsons, an income tax consultant, had been disputing
Frederick S. Parsons, um consultor em matéria de imposto sobre o rendimento, tinha estado a contestar
and wrangling for an hour with a government tax inspector.
e discutir durante uma hora com um inspetor de impostos do governo.
An item
of nine thousand dollars was at stake.
de nove mil dólares estava em jogo.
Mr. Parsons claimed that this
O Sr. Parsons afirmou que este
nine thousand dollars was in reality a bad debt, that it would never
nove mil dólares era na realidade uma dívida incobrável, que nunca
be collected, that it ought not to be taxed.
ser cobrado, que não deve ser tributado.
"Bad debt, my eye ! "
"Dívida má, meu olho! "
retorted the inspector.
erwiderte der Inspektor.
retorquiu o inspetor.
"It must be taxed. "
"Deve ser tributado. "
"This inspector was cold, arrogant and stubborn," Mr. Parsons said
as he told the story to the class.
enquanto contava a história à turma.
"Reason was wasted and so were
"A razão foi desperdiçada, assim como
facts.
The longer we argued, the more stubborn he became.
Quanto mais discutíamos, mais teimoso ele se tornava.
So I
decided to avoid argument, change the subject, and give him
appreciation.
"I said, 'I suppose this is a very petty matter in comparison with the
Eu disse: "Suponho que isto é um assunto muito insignificante em comparação com o
really important and difficult decisions you're required to make.
decisões realmente importantes e difíceis que tem de tomar.
I've
made a study of taxation myself.
habe selbst ein Studium der Besteuerung gemacht.
But I've had to get my knowledge
Aber ich musste mir mein Wissen aneignen
Mas tive de adquirir os meus conhecimentos
from books.
You are getting yours from the firing line of experience.
Sie erhalten Ihre aus der Schusslinie der Erfahrung.
O senhor está a receber o seu da linha de fogo da experiência.
I sometime wish I had a job like yours.
Às vezes, gostava de ter um emprego como o seu.
It would teach me a lot.
Es würde mir viel beibringen.
' I
meant every word I said.
meinte jedes Wort, das ich sagte.
estava a falar a sério em cada palavra que disse.
"Well.
" The inspector straightened up in his chair, leaned back, and
“ Der Inspektor richtete sich in seinem Stuhl auf, lehnte sich zurück und
" O inspetor endireitou-se na cadeira, recostou-se e
talked for a long time about his work, telling me of the clever frauds
falou durante muito tempo sobre o seu trabalho, contando-me as fraudes inteligentes
he had uncovered.
er hatte aufgedeckt.
que tinha descoberto.
His tone gradually became friendly, and presently
Sein Ton wurde allmählich freundlich, und jetzt
O seu tom tornou-se gradualmente amigável e, em breve
he was telling me about his children.
Er erzählte mir von seinen Kindern.
As he left, he advised me that
Als er ging, riet er mir das
he would consider my problem further and give me his decision in a
que analisaria melhor o meu problema e me daria a sua decisão numa
few days.
"He called at my office three days later and informed me that he had
decided to leave the tax return exactly as it was filed.
decidiu deixar a declaração de imposto exatamente como foi apresentada.
This tax inspector was demonstrating one of the most common of
Este inspetor fiscal estava a demonstrar uma das mais comuns
human frailties.
fragilidades humanas.
He wanted a feeling of importance; and as long as
Mr.
Parsons argued with him, he got his feeling of importance by
loudly asserting his authority.
lautstark seine Autorität beteuern.
afirmando em voz alta a sua autoridade.
But as soon as his importance was
admitted and the argument stopped and he was permitted to expand
admitido e a discussão foi interrompida, tendo-lhe sido permitido alargar a
his ego, he became a sympathetic and kindly human being.
sein Ego, er wurde ein sympathischer und freundlicher Mensch.
Buddha said: "Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a
Buddha sagte: „Hass wird niemals durch Hass, sondern durch Liebe beendet“, und a
Buda disse: "O ódio nunca termina com o ódio, mas com o amor", e um
misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact,
Missverständnisse werden nie durch Argumente beendet, sondern durch Takt,
O mal-entendido não se resolve com uma discussão, mas com tato,
diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other
Diplomatie, Versöhnung und der wohlwollende Wunsch, den anderen zu sehen
person's viewpoint.
Lincoln once reprimanded a young army officer for indulging in a
Lincoln tadelte einmal einen jungen Armeeoffizier, weil er sich einem hingegeben hatte
Lincoln repreendeu uma vez um jovem oficial do exército por se ter deixado levar por uma
violent controversy with an associate.
heftige Kontroverse mit einem Partner.
uma polémica violenta com um associado.
"No man who is resolved to
“没有一个决心
make the most of himself," said Lincoln, "can spare time for personal
das Beste aus sich macht", sagte Lincoln, "Zeit für persönliche Dinge erübrigen kann
pode ter tempo para se dedicar a assuntos pessoais," disse Lincoln.
充分利用自己,”林肯说,“可以为个人留出时间
contention.
contenção.
Still less can he afford to take the consequences,
Noch weniger kann er es sich leisten, die Konsequenzen zu tragen,
Muito menos se pode dar ao luxo de sofrer as consequências,
including the vitiation of his temper and the loss of self-control.
einschließlich der Verderbtheit seines Temperaments und des Verlusts der Selbstbeherrschung.
incluindo a viciação do seu temperamento e a perda de auto-controlo.
Yield
larger things to which you show no more than equal rights; and yield
coisas maiores para as quais não mostrais mais do que direitos iguais; e ceder
lesser ones though clearly your own.
kleinere, obwohl eindeutig Ihre eigenen.
menores, embora claramente suas.
Better give your path to a dog
Geben Sie Ihren Weg besser einem Hund
É melhor dar o seu caminho a um cão
than be bitten by him in contesting for the right.
als von ihm im Streit um das Recht gebissen zu werden.
do que ser mordido por ele ao disputar o direito.
Even killing the dog
Sogar den Hund töten
would not cure the bite.
würde den Biss nicht heilen.
In an article in Bits and Pieces,* some suggestions are made on how
In einem Artikel in Bits and Pieces* werden einige Vorschläge dazu gemacht
Num artigo da Bits and Pieces*, são apresentadas algumas sugestões sobre como
to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument:
damit eine Meinungsverschiedenheit nicht zu einem Streit wird:
para evitar que um desacordo se transforme numa discussão:
Welcome the disagreement.
Aceitar o desacordo.
Remember the slogan, "When two
Lembrem-se do slogan: "Quando dois
partners always agree, one of them is not necessary.
Partner sind sich immer einig, einer davon ist nicht notwendig.
Os parceiros estão sempre de acordo, um deles não é necessário.
" If there is
" Se houver
some point you haven't thought about, be thankful if it is brought to
algum ponto sobre o qual não tenha pensado, fique grato se ele lhe for apresentado
your attention.
Perhaps this disagreement is your opportunity to be
Vielleicht ist diese Meinungsverschiedenheit Ihre Chance zu sein
Talvez esta discordância seja a sua oportunidade de ser
corrected before you make a serious mistake.
Distrust your first instinctive impression.
Misstrauen Sie Ihrem ersten instinktiven Eindruck.
Méfiez-vous de votre première impression instinctive.
Desconfie da sua primeira impressão instintiva.
Our first natural reaction in
a disagreeable situation is to be defensive.
eine unangenehme Situation soll defensiv sein.
Be careful.
Keep calm and
watch out for your first reaction.
cuidado com a sua primeira reação.
It may be you at your worst, not
Es kann sein, dass Sie in Ihrer schlimmsten Phase sind, nicht
Podes ser tu no teu pior, não
your best.
Control your temper.
Remember, you can measure the size of a
Lembre-se que pode medir o tamanho de um
person by what makes him or her angry.
pessoa pelo que a deixa zangada.
Listen first.
Give your opponents a chance to talk.
Let them finish.
Do
not resist, defend or debate.
nicht widerstehen, verteidigen oder diskutieren.
This only raises barriers.
Isto apenas levanta barreiras.
Try to build
bridges of understanding.
pontes de compreensão.
Don't build higher barriers of
misunderstanding.
Look for areas of agreement.
Rechercher des domaines d'accord.
Procurar áreas de acordo.
When you have heard your opponents
Wenn Sie Ihre Gegner gehört haben
Depois de ouvires os teus adversários
out, dwell first on the points and areas on which you agree.
dehors, attardez-vous d’abord sur les points et les domaines sur lesquels vous êtes d’accord.
Be honest, Look for areas where you can admit error and say so.
Seien Sie ehrlich, suchen Sie nach Bereichen, in denen Sie Fehler zugeben und sagen können.
Apologize for your mistakes.
Pedir desculpa pelos seus erros.
It will help disarm your opponents and
Es wird Ihnen helfen, Ihre Gegner zu entwaffnen und
reduce defensiveness.
Abwehrhaltung reduzieren.
réduire la défensive.
Promise to think over your opponents' ideas and study them
Promettez de réfléchir aux idées de vos adversaires et de les étudier
Comprometer-se a refletir sobre as ideias dos seus adversários e a estudá-las
carefully.
And mean it.
Et le dire.
E é a sério.
Your opponents may be right.
It is a lot easier
at this stage to agree to think about their points than to move rapidly
nesta fase, concordar em refletir sobre os seus pontos de vista do que avançar rapidamente
ahead and find yourself in a position where your opponents can say:
"We tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen.
Thank your opponents sincerely for their interest.
Anyone who takes
Qualquer pessoa que tome
the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you
Zeit hat, Ihnen zu widersprechen, interessiert sich für die gleichen Dinge, die Sie
le temps d'être en désaccord avec vous est intéressé par les mêmes choses que vous
o tempo para discordar de si está interessado nas mesmas coisas que você
are.
Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you
may turn your opponents into friends.
pode transformar os seus adversários em amigos.
Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the
Vertagung der Maßnahme, um beiden Seiten Zeit zu geben, über das Thema nachzudenken
Reportez action pour donner aux deux côtés le temps de réfléchir à la
Adiar a ação para dar tempo a ambas as partes para reflectirem sobre o assunto
problem.
Suggest that a new meeting be held later that day or the
Sugerir a realização de uma nova reunião mais tarde nesse dia ou no dia seguinte
next day, when all the facts may be brought to bear.
no dia seguinte, quando todos os factos puderem ser apresentados.
In preparation
for this meeting, ask yourself some hard questions:
Could my opponents be right?
Partly right?
Parcialmente correto?
Is there truth or merit in
Gibt es Wahrheit oder Verdienst in
Existe verdade ou mérito em
their position or argument?
Is my reaction one that will relieve the
Será que a minha reação vai aliviar a
problem, or will it just relieve any frustration?
Problem, oder wird es nur Frustration abbauen?
problema, ou apenas aliviará a frustração?
Will my reaction drive
Será que a minha reação conduzirá
my opponents further away or draw them closer to me?
os meus adversários mais longe ou aproximá-los de mim?
Will my
reaction elevate the estimation good people have of me?
Will I win
or lose?
What price will I have to pay if I win?
If I am quiet about it,
Se eu estiver calado sobre isso,
will the disagreement blow over?
le désaccord va-t-il disparaître?
será que o desentendimento vai passar?
Is this difficult situation an
Cette situation difficile est-elle un
Esta situação difícil é uma
opportunity for me?
* Bits and Pieces, published by The Economics Press, Fairfield, N.J.
* Bits and Pieces, publicado por The Economics Press, Fairfield, N.J.
Opera tenor Jan Peerce, after he was married nearly fifty years, once
said: "My wife and I made a pact a long time ago, and we've kept it
no matter how angry we've grown with each other.
peu importe à quel point nous avons grandi en colère l'un avec l'autre.
por mais zangados que tenhamos ficado um com o outro.
When one yells,
Quando se grita,
the other should listen-because when two people yell, there is no
communication, just noise and bad vibrations.
· Principle 1 The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid
it.
2 - A Sure Way Of Making Enemies -And How To Avoid It
2 - Uma forma segura de fazer inimigos - e como evitá-la
When Theodore Roosevelt was in the White House, he confessed
that if he could be right 75 percent of the time, he would reach the
dass er, wenn er in 75 Prozent der Fälle richtig liegen würde, das Ziel erreichen würde
que s'il pouvait avoir raison 75% du temps, il atteindrait le
que se conseguisse estar certo em 75% das vezes, alcançaria o
highest measure of his expectation.
plus haute mesure de ses attentes.
mais alta medida da sua expetativa.
最高期望值。
If that was the highest rating that one of the most distinguished men
Si c’était la note la plus élevée attribuée à l’un des hommes les plus distingués
Se essa era a classificação mais elevada que um dos homens mais distintos
of the twentieth century could hope to obtain, what about you and
do século XX poderia esperar obter, o que dizer de si e de
me?
If you can be sure of being right only 55 percent of the time, you can
Si vous ne pouvez être sûr d'avoir raison que 55% du temps, vous pouvez
Se tivermos a certeza de que estamos certos apenas 55% das vezes, podemos
go down to Wall Street and make a million dollars a day.
descendez à Wall Street et gagnez un million de dollars par jour.
ir para Wall Street e ganhar um milhão de dólares por dia.
If you can't
be sure of being right even 55 percent of the time, why should you
assurez-vous d'avoir raison même 55% du temps, pourquoi devriez-vous
tell other people they are wrong?
dire aux autres qu'ils ont tort?
You can tell people they are wrong by a look or an intonation or a
Vous pouvez dire aux gens qu’ils se trompent par un regard, une intonation ou un
gesture just as eloquently as you can in words - and if you tell them
faites des gestes aussi éloquents que vous le pouvez avec des mots - et si vous leur dites
gesticular de forma tão eloquente como por palavras - e se lhes disser
they are wrong, do you make them want to agree with you?
ils ont tort, leur donnez-vous envie d'être d'accord avec vous?
Never!
For you have struck a direct blow at their intelligence, judgment,
Car vous avez porté un coup direct à leur intelligence, leur jugement,
Porque lhes atingiste diretamente a inteligência, o juízo,
pride and self-respect.
That will make them want to strike back.
But
it will never make them want to change their minds.
You may then
Pode então
hurl at them all the logic of a Plato or an Immanuel Kant, but you will
jetez sur eux toute la logique d'un Platon ou d'un Emmanuel Kant, mais vous
lançar sobre eles toda a lógica de um Platão ou de um Immanuel Kant, mas
not alter their opinions, for you have hurt their feelings.
não altere as suas opiniões, pois feriu os seus sentimentos.
Never begin by announcing "I am going to prove so-and-so to you.
Nunca comece por anunciar: "Vou provar-lhe isto e aquilo.
That's bad.
That's tantamount to saying: "I'm smarter than you are,
Isso é o mesmo que dizer: "Sou mais esperto do que tu,
I'm going to tell you a thing or two and make you change your
mind.
That is a challenge.
C'est un défi.
It arouses opposition and makes the listener
Sie erregt Widerspruch und macht den Zuhörer
want to battle with you before you even start.
It is difficult, under even the most benign conditions, to change
Il est difficile, même dans les conditions les plus bénignes, de changer
É difícil, mesmo nas condições mais benignas, alterar
people's minds.
So why make it harder?
Então, porquê torná-lo mais difícil?
Why handicap yourself?
Porquê prejudicar-se a si próprio?
If you are going to prove anything, don't let anybody know it.
Do it
so subtly, so adroitly, that no one will feel that you are doing it.
tão subtilmente, tão habilmente, que ninguém sentirá que o está a fazer.
This
was expressed succinctly by Alexander Pope:
Men must be taught as if you taught them not And things unknown
Die Menschen müssen gelehrt werden, als ob du sie nicht gelehrt hättest Und unbekannte Dinge
Les hommes doivent être enseignés comme si vous ne leur enseigniez pas Et des choses inconnues
Os homens devem ser ensinados como se não lhes tivesses ensinado E coisas desconhecidas
proposed as things forgot.
vorgeschlagen, als Dinge vergessen.
proposé comme les choses ont oublié.
propostos como coisas esquecidas.
Over three hundred years ago Galileo said:
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him to find it
within himself.
As Lord Chesterfield said to his son:
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
Se puderes, sê mais sábio do que as outras pessoas, mas não lhes digas isso.
Socrates said repeatedly to his followers in Athens:
One thing only I know, and that is that I know nothing.
Uma coisa só eu sei: é que não sei nada.
Well, I can't hope to be any smarter than Socrates, so I have quit
Eh bien, je ne peux pas espérer être plus intelligent que Socrate, alors j'ai arrêté
Bem, não posso esperar ser mais inteligente do que Sócrates, por isso deixei de o ser
telling people they are wrong.
And I find that it pays.
E acho que compensa.
If a person makes a statement that you think is wrong - yes, even
Se uma pessoa faz uma afirmação que consideramos errada - sim, mesmo
that you know is wrong - isn't it better to begin by saying: "Well,
que sabe que está errado - não será melhor começar por dizer: "Bem,
now, look, I thought otherwise, but I may be wrong.
I frequently
am.
And if I am wrong, I want to be put right.
E se estiver errado, quero ser corrigido.
Let's examine the
facts.
There's magic, positive magic, in such phrases as: "I may be wrong.
Há magia, magia positiva, em frases como: "Posso estar errado.
I frequently am.
Das bin ich oft.
我经常。
Let's examine the facts. "
Nobody in the heavens above or on earth beneath or in the waters
Personne dans les cieux au-dessus ou sur la terre sous ou dans les eaux
Ninguém nos céus em cima, nem na terra em baixo, nem nas águas
under the earth will ever object to your saying: "I may be wrong.
unter der Erde wird jemals Einspruch gegen Ihre Aussage erheben: "Ich kann mich irren.
sous la terre s'objectera toujours à ce que vous dites: "Je peux me tromper.
debaixo da terra alguma vez se oporá a que diga: "Posso estar errado.
Let's examine the facts.
One of our class members who used this approach in dealing with
customers was Harold Reinke, a Dodge dealer in Billings, Montana.
clientes era Harold Reinke, um concessionário Dodge em Billings, Montana.
He reported that because of the pressures of the automobile
Informou que devido às pressões do sector automóvel
business, he was often hard-boiled and callous when dealing with
negócios, ele era muitas vezes duro e insensível quando lidava com
customers' complaints.
reclamações dos clientes.
This caused flared tempers, loss of business
Cela a provoqué des tempéraments brûlés, une perte d'activité
Este facto provocou irritação, perda de negócios
and general unpleasantness.
e o desagrado geral.
He told his class: "Recognizing that this was getting me nowhere
Il a dit à sa classe: "Reconnaissant que cela me conduisait nulle part
Ele disse à sua turma: "Ao reconhecer que isto não me estava a levar a lado nenhum
fast, I tried a new tack.
schnell, habe ich einen neuen Ansatz versucht.
vite, j'ai essayé un nouveau virement de bord.
rapidamente, tentei uma nova abordagem.
I would say something like this: 'Our
dealership has made so many mistakes that I am frequently
concessionnaire a fait tellement d'erreurs que je suis souvent
ashamed.
honteux.
We may have erred in your case.
Podemos ter cometido um erro no seu caso.
Tell me about it. '
"This approach becomes quite disarming, and by the time the
"Cette approche devient très désarmante, et au moment où le
"Esta abordagem torna-se bastante desarmante, e na altura em que o
customer releases his feelings, he is usually much more reasonable
client libère ses sentiments, il est généralement beaucoup plus raisonnable
o cliente liberta os seus sentimentos, é normalmente muito mais razoável
when it comes to settling the matter.
quand il s'agit de régler la question.
quando se trata de resolver o assunto.
In fact, several customers have
thanked me for having such an understanding attitude.
And two of
them have even brought in friends to buy new cars.
ils ont même amené des amis pour acheter de nouvelles voitures.
In this highly
Neste projeto altamente
competitive market, we need more of this type of customer, and I
believe that showing respect for all customers' opinions and treating
them diplomatically and courteously will help beat the competition.
Sie diplomatisch und höflich zu behandeln, wird dazu beitragen, die Konkurrenz zu schlagen.
de forma diplomática e cortês, ajudará a vencer a concorrência.
You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong.
Sie werden nie in Schwierigkeiten geraten, wenn Sie zugeben, dass Sie vielleicht falsch liegen.
That will stop all argument and inspire your opponent to be just as
Das wird jeden Streit beenden und Ihren Gegner dazu bringen, genauso zu sein wie Sie.
fair and open and broad-minded as you are.
justo, aberto e de mente aberta como tu.
It will make him want to
admit that he, too, may be wrong.
If you know positively that a person is wrong, and you bluntly tell
Si vous savez positivement qu'une personne a tort, et que vous dites carrément
him or her so, what happens?
Let me illustrate.
Mr. S---- a young
New York attorney, once argued a rather important case before the
United States Supreme Court (Lustgarten v. Fleet Corporation 280
U.S.
320).
The case involved a considerable sum of money and an
O caso envolvia uma soma considerável de dinheiro e um
important question of law.
During the argument, one of the Supreme
Court justices said to him: "The statute of limitations in admiralty law
Les juges de la cour lui ont dit: "Le délai de prescription en droit amirauté
Os juízes do Tribunal disseram-lhe: "O estatuto de limitações no direito do almirantado
is six years, is it not?
Mr.
S---- stopped, stared at the Justice for a moment, and then said
S---- parou, olhou para a Justiça por um momento e depois disse
bluntly: "Your Honor, there is no statute of limitations in admiralty.
unverblümt: "Euer Ehren, in der Admiralität gibt es keine Verjährungsfrist.
sem rodeios: "Meritíssimo, não existe um estatuto de limitações no almirantado.
"A hush fell on the court," said Mr. S---- as he related his experience
"Es wurde still auf dem Platz", sagte Herr S----, als er von seinen Erfahrungen berichtete.
"Un silence est tombé sur le tribunal", a déclaré M. S ---- en racontant son expérience.
"Um silêncio caiu sobre o tribunal", disse o Sr. S---- ao relatar a sua experiência
to one of the author's classes, "and the temperature in the room
a uma das turmas do autor, "e a temperatura da sala
seemed to drop to zero.
parece ter caído para zero.
I was right.
Justice - was wrong.
Justiça - estava errado.
And I had
told him so.
But did that make him friendly?
No.
I still believe that I
had the law on my side.
And I know that I spoke better than I ever
spoke before.
But I didn't persuade.
I made the enormous blunder of
Ich habe den großen Fehler begangen
J'ai fait l'énorme gaffe de
Cometi o enorme erro de
telling a very learned and famous man that he was wrong.
dire à un homme très instruit et célèbre qu'il avait tort.
dizer a um homem muito culto e famoso que ele estava errado.
Few people are logical.
Most of us are prejudiced and biased.
La plupart d'entre nous ont des préjugés et des préjugés.
A maioria de nós é preconceituosa e tendenciosa.
Most of
us are blighted with preconceived notions, with jealousy, suspicion,
Wir sind von vorgefassten Meinungen, Eifersucht und Misstrauen geplagt,
nous sommes gâtés par des idées préconçues, par la jalousie, la suspicion,
fear, envy and pride.
And most citizens don't want to change their
minds about their religion or their haircut or communism or their
favorite movie star.
estrela de cinema favorita.
So, if you are inclined to tell people they are
Por isso, se estiveres inclinado a dizer às pessoas que elas são
wrong, please read the following paragraph every morning before
breakfast.
It is from James Harvey Robinson's enlightening book The
É do livro esclarecedor de James Harvey Robinson, The
Mind in the Making.
A mente em formação.
We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any
Manchmal ändern wir unsere Meinung, ohne dass wir es merken.
Nous nous retrouvons parfois nous changer d'avis sans aucun
resistance or heavy emotion, but if we are told we are wrong, we
resent the imputation and harden our hearts.
renvoyer l'imputation et durcir nos cœurs.
ressentir-se da imputação e endurecer os nossos corações.
We are incredibly
Somos incrivelmente
heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with
Wir sind nicht rücksichtslos bei der Bildung unserer Überzeugungen, sondern sind erfüllt von
insouciant dans la formation de nos croyances, mais nous nous trouvons remplis de
descuidados na formação das nossas crenças, mas encontramo-nos cheios de
an illicit passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their
une passion illicite pour eux quand quelqu'un propose de nous voler leur
uma paixão ilícita por eles quando alguém se propõe a roubar-nos a sua
companionship.
companheirismo.
It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear
Es sind offensichtlich nicht die Ideen selbst, die wichtig sind.
É evidente que não são as ideias em si que são caras
to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened.
para nós, mas sim a nossa autoestima que é ameaçada.
... The little word
"my" is the most important one in human affairs, and properly to
O "meu" é o mais importante nos assuntos humanos e, corretamente, para
reckon with it is the beginning of wisdom.
damit zu rechnen, ist der Beginn der Weisheit.
ter em conta este facto é o princípio da sabedoria.
It has the same force
Tem a mesma força
whether it is "my" dinner, "my" dog, and "my" house, or "my" father,
"my" country, and "my" God.
We not only resent the imputation that
Não só nos ressentimos da imputação de que
our watch is wrong, or our car shabby, but that our conception of
o nosso relógio está errado, ou o nosso carro em mau estado, mas que a nossa conceção de
the canals of Mars, of the pronunciation of "Epictetus," of the
les canaux de Mars, de la prononciation de "Epictetus", de la
os canais de Marte, da pronúncia de "Epicteto", do
medicinal value of salicin, or of the date of Sargon I is subject to
valeur médicinale de la salicine ou de la date de Sargon I est soumise à
valor medicinal da salicina, ou da data de Sargão I está sujeito a
revision.
We like to continue to believe what we have been
Gostamos de continuar a acreditar no que temos vindo a fazer
accustomed to accept as true, and the resentment aroused when
als wahr zu akzeptieren, und die Verärgerung, die entsteht, wenn
habitué à accepter comme vrai, et le ressentiment suscité lorsque
doubt is cast upon any of our assumptions leads us to seek every
Wenn eine unserer Annahmen in Zweifel gezogen wird, müssen wir alles tun, um die
le doute est jeté sur l'une de nos hypothèses nous amène à rechercher chaque
dúvida sobre qualquer um dos nossos pressupostos leva-nos a procurar todas as
manner of excuse for clinging to it.
sorte d'excuse pour s'y accrocher.
uma espécie de desculpa para se agarrarem a ela.
The result is that most of our so-
called reasoning consists in finding arguments for going on believing
Die so genannte Argumentation besteht darin, Argumente dafür zu finden, weiter zu glauben.
o chamado raciocínio consiste em encontrar argumentos para continuar a acreditar
as we already do.
como já estamos a fazer.
Carl Rogers, the eminent psychologist, wrote in his book On
Becoming a Person:
Tornar-se uma pessoa:
I have found it of enormous value when I can permit myself to
Ich habe festgestellt, dass es von enormem Wert ist, wenn ich mir erlauben kann
Considero que é de enorme valor quando me permito
understand the other person.
die andere Person zu verstehen.
The way in which I have worded this
La façon dont j'ai formulé cette
A forma como redigi isto
statement may seem strange to you, Is it necessary to permit
A afirmação pode parecer-vos estranha: é necessário permitir
oneself to understand another?
para compreender o outro?
I think it is.
Our first reaction to most
of the statements (which we hear from other people) is an
das afirmações (que ouvimos de outras pessoas) é um
evaluation or judgment, rather than an understanding of it.
When
someone expresses some feeling, attitude or belief, our tendency is
almost immediately to feel "that's right," or "that's stupid," "that's
abnormal," "that's unreasonable," "that's incorrect," "that's not nice.
Very rarely do we permit ourselves to understand precisely what the
meaning of the statement is to the other person.
o significado da afirmação é para a outra pessoa.
(*)
I once employed an interior decorator to make some draperies for
Uma vez, contratei um decorador de interiores para fazer uns cortinados para
my home.
When the bill arrived, I was dismayed.
Quando a fatura chegou, fiquei desanimado.
A few days later, a friend dropped in and looked at the draperies.
Alguns dias depois, um amigo veio cá ver os cortinados.
The price was mentioned, and she exclaimed with a note of triumph:
Le prix a été mentionné, et elle s'exclama avec une note de triomphe:
O preço foi mencionado, e ela exclamou com uma nota de triunfo:
"What?
That's awful.
Isso é horrível.
I am afraid he put one over on you. "
J'ai bien peur qu'il t'en mette un. "
Receio que ele te tenha enganado. "
True?
Yes, she had told the truth, but few people like to listen to
truths that reflect on their judgment.
So, being human, I tried to
defend myself.
I pointed out that the best is eventually the cheapest,
J'ai souligné que le meilleur est finalement le moins cher,
that one can't expect to get quality and artistic taste at bargain-
que l'on ne peut pas s'attendre à obtenir de la qualité et du goût artistique
que não se pode esperar obter qualidade e gosto artístico a preço de saldo.
basement prices, and so on and on.
prix de sous-sol, et ainsi de suite.
preços de cave, etc.
The next day another friend dropped in, admired the draperies,
No dia seguinte, outro amigo veio cá, admirou os cortinados,
bubbled over with enthusiasm, and expressed a wish that she could
a débordé d’enthousiasme et a exprimé le souhait de pouvoir
entusiasmada, exprimiu o desejo de poder
afford such exquisite creations for her home.
se permettre de telles créations exquises pour sa maison.
para criar criações tão requintadas para a sua casa.
My reaction was totally
different.
"Well, to tell the truth," I said, "I can't afford them myself.
"Bien, à vrai dire", dis-je, "je ne peux pas me les payer moi-même.
"Bem, para dizer a verdade", disse eu, "eu próprio não tenho dinheiro para as comprar.
I paid too much.
Paguei demasiado.
I'm sorry I ordered them,"
Je suis désolé je les ai commandés, "
Peço desculpa por os ter encomendado".
When we are wrong, we may admit it to ourselves.
And if we are
handled gently and tactfully, we may admit it to others and even
manipulés avec douceur et tact, nous pouvons l’admettre à d’autres et même
tratados com delicadeza e tato, podemos admiti-lo aos outros e até
take pride in our frankness and broad-mindedness.
orgulhamo-nos da nossa franqueza e da nossa abertura de espírito.
But not if
someone else is trying to ram the unpalatable fact down our
quelqu'un d'autre essaie de faire échouer le fait désagréable sur notre
alguém está a tentar enfiar este facto desagradável no nosso
esophagus.
œsophage.
esófago.
Horace Greeley, the most famous editor in America during the time
of the Civil War, disagreed violently with Lincoln's policies.
He
believed that he could drive Lincoln into agreeing with him by a
acreditava que podia levar Lincoln a concordar com ele através de uma
campaign of argument, ridicule and abuse.
campanha de argumentação, ridicularização e abuso.
He waged this bitter
Er führte diesen bitteren Kampf
Il a fait cette amère
Ele travou esta dura batalha
campaign month after month, year after year.
In fact, he wrote a
brutal, bitter, sarcastic and personal attack on President Lincoln the
ataque brutal, amargo, sarcástico e pessoal ao Presidente Lincoln, o
night Booth shot him.
noite em que o Booth o matou.
But did all this bitterness make Lincoln agree with Greeley?
Mas será que toda esta amargura fez com que Lincoln concordasse com Greeley?
Not at
all.
Ridicule and abuse never do.
If you want some excellent
suggestions about dealing with people and managing yourself and
sugestões sobre como lidar com as pessoas e gerir-se a si próprio e
improving your personality, read Benjamin Franklin's autobiography -
para melhorar a sua personalidade, leia a autobiografia de Benjamin Franklin -
one of the most fascinating life stories ever written, one of the
classics of American literature.
Ben Franklin tells how he conquered
the iniquitous habit of argument and transformed himself into one of
die ungerechte Gewohnheit des Streitens und verwandelte sich in einen der
the most able, suave and diplomatic men in American history.
die fähigsten, gewandtesten und diplomatischsten Männer der amerikanischen Geschichte.
One day, when Ben Franklin was a blundering youth, an old Quaker
Un jour, alors que Ben Franklin était un jeune gaffeur, un vieux quaker
friend took him aside and lashed him with a few stinging truths,
un ami l'a pris à part et l'a fouetté avec quelques vérités brûlantes,
O amigo chamou-o à parte e deu-lhe umas verdades contundentes,
something like this:
Ben, you are impossible.
Your opinions have a slap in them for
Ihre Stellungnahmen haben einen Schlag ins Gesicht für
Vos avis ont une gifle pour eux
As suas opiniões têm uma bofetada por
everyone who differs with you.
todos os que discordam de si.
They have become so offensive that
Ils sont devenus tellement offensants que
nobody cares for them.
personne ne s'en soucie.
ninguém se preocupa com eles.
Your friends find they enjoy themselves
Vos amis trouvent qu'ils s'amusent
better when you are not around.
You know so much that no man can
Sabes tanto que nenhum homem pode
tell you anything.
Indeed, no man is going to try, for the effort would
De facto, ninguém vai tentar, porque o esforço seria
lead only to discomfort and hard work.
só conduzem ao desconforto e ao trabalho árduo.
So you are not likely ever to
Donc, vous n'êtes pas susceptible de jamais
Portanto, não é provável que alguma vez
know any more than you do now, which is very little.
en savoir plus que vous maintenant, ce qui est très peu.
saber mais do que sabe agora, o que é muito pouco.
One of the finest things I know about Ben Franklin is the way he
accepted that smarting rebuke.
aceitou a repreensão.
He was big enough and wise enough
Ele era suficientemente grande e sábio
to realize that it was true, to sense that he was headed for failure
se rendre compte qu'il était vrai, sentir qu'il se dirigeait vers l'échec
para perceber que era verdade, para sentir que estava a ir para o fracasso
and social disaster.
e catástrofe social.
So he made a right-about-face.
Also machte er eine Kehrtwendung nach rechts.
Donc, il a fait une droite-face-face.
Por isso, fez uma reviravolta.
He began
immediately to change his insolent, opinionated ways.
imediatamente para mudar os seus modos insolentes e opinativos.
"I made it a rule," said Franklin, "to forbear all direct contradiction to
"J'en ai fait une règle", a déclaré Franklin, "à s'abstenir de toute contradiction directe avec
"Franklin disse: "Fiz uma regra para evitar qualquer contradição direta com
the sentiment of others, and all positive assertion of my own, I even
le sentiment des autres, et toute affirmation positive de la mienne, je même
o sentimento dos outros, e toda a afirmação positiva da minha própria, eu até
forbade myself the use of every word or expression in the language
me suis interdit l'utilisation de chaque mot ou expression dans la langue
that imported a fix'd opinion, such as 'certainly,' 'undoubtedly,' etc.,
que importam uma opinião fixa, como "certamente", "indubitavelmente", etc,
and I adopted, instead of them, 'I conceive,' 'I apprehend, ' or 'I
und ich habe stattdessen "ich denke", "ich begreife" oder "ich
imagine' a thing to be so or so, or 'it so appears to me at present.
imaginar" que uma coisa é assim ou assim, ou "parece-me que é assim neste momento".
When another asserted something that I thought an error, I deny'd
Quand un autre a affirmé quelque chose que je pensais être une erreur, j'ai nié
Quando alguém afirmava algo que eu considerava um erro, eu negava
myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing
o prazer de o contrariar bruscamente e de mostrar que não é um homem de negócios.
immediately some absurdity in his proposition: and in answering I
immédiatement une absurdité dans sa proposition: et en répondant à
imediatamente algum absurdo na sua proposta: e, ao responder, eu
began by observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion
would be right, but in the present case there appear'd or seem'd to
seria correto, mas no caso em apreço parecia ou parece
me some difference, etc.
I soon found the advantage of this change
Rapidamente descobri a vantagem desta mudança
in my manner; the conversations I engag'd in went on more
as conversas em que me envolvia eram mais
pleasantly.
agradavelmente.
The modest way in which I propos'd my opinions procur'd
Die bescheidene Art, in der ich meine Meinung kundtat, bewirkte
A forma modesta como propus as minhas opiniões conseguiu
them a readier reception and less contradiction; I had less
eine bessere Aufnahme und weniger Widerspruch; ich hatte weniger
leur une réception plus facile et moins de contradiction; J'avais moins
mais facilmente e menos contradições; tive menos
mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily
Kasteiung, wenn ich mich im Unrecht befand, und ich war leichter
mortificação quando se verificava que eu estava errado, e mais facilmente
prevaile'd with others to give up their mistakes and join with me
andere dazu gebracht, ihre Fehler aufzugeben und sich mir anzuschließen
a prévenu avec les autres pour qu'ils abandonnent leurs erreurs et se joignent à moi
Previa que outros desistissem dos seus erros e se juntassem a mim
when I happened to be in the right.
quando por acaso eu estava no sítio certo.
"And this mode, which I at first put on with some violence to natural
"Et ce mode, que j'ai d'abord mis avec une certaine violence naturelle
"E este modo, que no início vesti com alguma violência para com os
inclination, became at length so easy, and so habitual to me, that
inclinação, tornou-se tão fácil e tão habitual para mim, que
perhaps for these fifty years past no one has ever heard a
talvez nos últimos cinquenta anos nunca ninguém tenha ouvido uma
dogmatical expression escape me.
expression dogmatique m'échapper.
And to this habit (after my
character of integrity) I think it principally owing that I had earned so
caractère d’intégrité), je pense que c’est surtout parce que j’avais gagné tant
carácter íntegro) penso que se deve principalmente ao facto de ter ganho tanto
much weight with my fellow citizens when I proposed new
beaucoup de poids avec mes concitoyens quand j'ai proposé de nouvelles
institutions, or alterations in the old, and so much influence in public
institutions, ou des modifications dans le vieux, et tellement d'influence dans public
councils when I became a member; for I was but a bad speaker,
conseils quand je suis devenu membre; car je n'étais qu'un mauvais orateur,
conselhos quando me tornei membro; porque eu não passava de um mau orador,
never eloquent, subject to much hesitation in my choice of words,
nunca eloquente, sujeito a muitas hesitações na escolha das palavras,
hardly correct in language, and yet I generally carried my points.
à peine correct dans la langue, et pourtant je généralement porté mes points.
não era muito correto na linguagem, mas, de um modo geral, consegui fazer valer os meus argumentos.
How do Ben Franklin's methods work in business?
Como é que os métodos de Ben Franklin funcionam nos negócios?
Let's take two
examples.
Katherine A, Allred of Kings Mountain, North Carolina, is an industrial
Katherine A. Allred, de Kings Mountain, Carolina do Norte, é uma empresa industrial
engineering supervisor for a yarn-processing plant.
technischer Leiter einer Garnverarbeitungsanlage.
supervisor de engenharia de uma fábrica de transformação de fios.
She told one of
our classes how she handled a sensitive problem before and after
taking our training:
a fazer a nossa formação:
"Part of my responsibility," she reported, "deals with setting up and
"Ein Teil meiner Verantwortung", so berichtet sie, "besteht in der Einrichtung und
"Uma parte da minha responsabilidade", informou, "consiste em criar e
maintaining incentive systems and standards for our operators so
manter sistemas e normas de incentivo para os nossos operadores, de modo a
they can make more money by producing more yarn.
The system we
were using had worked fine when we had only two or three different
types of yarn, but recently we had expanded our inventory and
capabilities to enable us to run more than twelve different varieties.
Fähigkeiten, die es uns ermöglichen, mehr als zwölf verschiedene Sorten zu betreiben.
capacidades que nos permitem gerir mais de doze variedades diferentes.
The present system was no longer adequate to pay the operators
O sistema atual já não era suficiente para pagar aos operadores
fairly for the work being performed and give them an incentive to
de forma justa pelo trabalho efectuado e incentivá-los a
increase production.
aumentar a produção.
I had worked up a new system which would
Ich hatte ein neues System ausgearbeitet, das
Eu tinha elaborado um novo sistema que
enable us to pay the operator by the class of yam she was running at
permitir-nos-ia pagar à operadora pela classe de inhame que ela estava a utilizar
any one particular time.
With my new system in hand, I entered the
Com o meu novo sistema na mão, entrei no
meeting determined to prove to the management that my system
reunião determinada a provar à direção que o meu sistema
was the right approach.
foi a abordagem correcta.
I told them in detail how they were wrong
Disse-lhes em pormenor que estavam errados
and showed where they were being unfair and how I had all the
answers they needed.
To say the least, I failed miserably!
Pour le moins, j'ai lamentablement échoué!
Para dizer o mínimo, falhei redondamente!
I had
become so busy defending my position on the new system that I had
left them no opening to graciously admit their problems on the old
one.
The issue was dead.
Das Thema war erledigt.
Le problème était mort.
O assunto estava morto.
"After several sessions of this course, I realized all too well where I
"Depois de várias sessões deste curso, apercebi-me demasiado bem onde é que eu
had made my mistakes.
I called another meeting and this time I
Convoquei outra reunião e desta vez
asked where they felt their problems were.
We discussed each point,
and I asked them their opinions on which was the best way to
proceed.
proceder.
With a few low-keyed suggestions, at proper intervals, I let
Com algumas sugestões discretas, a intervalos adequados, deixei
them develop my system themselves.
At the end of the meeting
when I actually presented my system, they enthusiastically accepted
quando apresentei o meu sistema, aceitaram-no com entusiasmo
it.
"I am convinced now that nothing good is accomplished and a lot of
"Estou agora convencido de que não se consegue nada de bom e que se fazem muitas
damage can be done if you tell a person straight out that he or she is
podem ser causados danos se se disser diretamente a uma pessoa que ela é
wrong.
You only succeed in stripping that person of self-dignity and
Só se consegue retirar a essa pessoa a sua dignidade e
making yourself an unwelcome part of any discussion.
tornando-se uma parte indesejável de qualquer discussão.
Let's take another example - and remember these cases I am citing
are typical of the experiences of thousands of other people.
R. V.
Crowley was a salesman for a lumber company in New York.
Crowley era vendedor de uma empresa de madeiras em Nova Iorque.
Crowley
admitted that he had been telling hard-boiled lumber inspectors for
gab zu, dass er hartgesottenen Holzinspektoren erzählt hatte, er habe
admitiu que tinha andado a dizer aos inspectores de madeira
years that they were wrong.
And he had won the arguments too.
E tinha ganho os argumentos também.
But
it hadn't done any good.
Es hatte nichts genützt.
não tinha servido de nada.
"For these lumber inspectors," said Mr.
"Para estes inspectores da madeira", disse o Sr.
Crowley, "are like baseball umpires.
Crowley, "sind wie Baseball-Schiedsrichter.
Crowley, "são como os árbitros de basebol.
Once they make a decision, they
never change it,"
Mr.
Crowley saw that his firm was losing thousands of dollars
Crowley sah, dass seine Firma Tausende von Dollar verlor
through the arguments he won.
através dos argumentos que ganhou.
So while taking my course, he
Assim, enquanto estava a frequentar o meu curso, ele
resolved to change tactics and abandon arguments.
entschlossen, die Taktik zu ändern und auf Argumente zu verzichten.
With what
results?
Here is the story as he told it to the fellow members of his
Hier ist die Geschichte, wie er sie den anderen Mitgliedern seiner Gruppe erzählte
Eis a história tal como ele a contou aos colegas da sua
class:
"One morning the phone rang in my office.
"Uma manhã, o telefone tocou no meu escritório.
A hot and bothered
Eine heiße und geplagte
Um homem quente e incomodado
person at the other end proceeded to inform me that a car of lumber
Die Person am anderen Ende der Leitung teilte mir mit, dass ein Wagen mit Holz
A pessoa do outro lado informou-me que um carro de madeira
we had shipped into his plant was entirely unsatisfactory.
que tínhamos enviado para a sua fábrica era totalmente insatisfatório.
His firm
A sua empresa
had stopped unloading and requested that we make immediate
tinha parado de descarregar e pediu-nos que fizéssemos imediatamente
arrangements to remove the stock from their yard.
Vorkehrungen zu treffen, um das Vieh von ihrem Hof zu entfernen.
acordos para retirar os animais do seu quintal.
After about one-
fourth of the car had been unloaded, their lumber inspector reported
that the lumber was running 55 percent below grade.
que a madeira estava 55% abaixo do nível.
Under the
circumstances, they refused to accept it.
"I immediately started for his plant and on the way turned over in
"Parti imediatamente para a sua fábrica e, no caminho, virei-me em
my mind the best way to handle the situation.
Ordinarily, under such
Normalmente, neste tipo de
circumstances, I should have quoted grading rules and tried, as a
circunstâncias, eu deveria ter citado as regras de classificação e tentado, como
result of my own experience and knowledge as a lumber inspector,
to convince the other inspector that the lumber was actually up to
para convencer o outro inspetor de que a madeira estava realmente à altura
grade, and that he was misinterpreting the rules in his inspection.
However, I thought I would apply the principles learned in this
No entanto, pensei em aplicar os princípios aprendidos neste
training.
"When I arrived at the plant, I found the purchasing agent and the
"Quando cheguei à fábrica, encontrei o agente de compras e o
lumber inspector in a wicked humor, both set for an argument and a
Holzinspektor in böser Laune, beide bereit für einen Streit und eine
inspetor da madeira com um humor perverso, ambos prontos para uma discussão e uma
fight.
We walked out to the car that was being unloaded, and I
requested that they continue to unload so that I could see how
things were going.
I asked the inspector to go right ahead and lay
Pedi ao inspetor para ir em frente e colocar
out the rejects, as he had been doing, and to put the good pieces in
eliminar as peças rejeitadas, como vinha fazendo, e colocar as boas peças em
another pile.
outra pilha.
"After watching him for a while it began to dawn on me that his
"Après l'avoir observé pendant un moment, j'ai commencé à comprendre que son
"Depois de o observar durante algum tempo, comecei a aperceber-me de que a sua
inspection actually was much too strict and that he was
a inspeção era, de facto, demasiado rigorosa e que ele era
misinterpreting the rules.
interpretação incorrecta das regras.
This particular lumber was white pine, and
Esta madeira em particular era de pinho branco, e
I knew the inspector was thoroughly schooled in hard woods but not a competent,
Eu sabia que o inspetor era muito instruído em madeiras duras, mas não era competente,
experienced inspector on white pine.
inspetor experiente em pinho branco.
White pine happened to be my
O pinheiro branco era o meu
own strong suit, but did I offer any objection to the way he was
mas será que fiz alguma objeção à forma como ele
grading the lumber?
classificar a madeira?
None whatever.
Aucun que ce soit.
Nada disso.
I kept on watching and
Continuei a observar e
gradually began to ask questions as to why certain pieces were not
gradualmente começaram a fazer perguntas sobre o porquê de certas peças não serem
satisfactory.
satisfatório.
I didn't for one instant insinuate that the inspector was
Ich habe nicht einen Augenblick lang behauptet, dass der Inspektor
wrong.
I emphasized that my only reason for asking was in order
that we could give his firm exactly what they wanted in future
shipments.
wanted in future shipments.
desejado em futuras remessas.
"By asking questions in a very friendly, cooperative spirit, and
"Ao fazer perguntas com um espírito muito amigável e cooperativo, e
insisting continually that they were right in laying out boards not
insistir continuamente no facto de que tinham razão em colocar placas não
satisfactory to their purpose, I got him warmed up, and the strained
satisfaisant à leur objectif, je l'ai fait réchauffer, et le forcé
satisfatório para o seu objetivo, aqueci-o, e a tensão
relations between us began to thaw and melt away.
as relações entre nós começaram a descongelar e a derreter.
An occasional
Un occasionnel
carefully put remark on my part gave birth to the idea in his mind
Eine sorgfältig formulierte Bemerkung meinerseits brachte ihn auf die Idee
uma observação minha, cuidadosamente formulada, fez nascer a ideia no seu espírito
that possibly some of these rejected pieces were actually within the
que possivelmente algumas dessas peças rejeitadas estavam de facto dentro do
grade that they had bought, and that their requirements demanded
que tinham comprado, e que as suas necessidades exigiam
a more expensive grade.
um grau mais caro.
I was very careful, however, not to let him
No entanto, tive muito cuidado para não o deixar
think I was making an issue of this point.
Penso que estava a fazer uma questão sobre este ponto.
"Gradually his whole attitude changed.
"Gradualmente, toda a sua atitude mudou.
He finally admitted to me that
he was not experienced on white pine and began to ask me
questions about each piece as it came out of the car, I would explain
perguntas sobre cada peça quando saía do carro, eu explicava
why such a piece came within the grade specified, but kept on
porque é que tal peça estava dentro do grau especificado, mas continuou
insisting that we did not want him to take it if it was unsuitable for
insistindo que não queríamos que ele a tomasse se não fosse adequada para
their purpose.
He finally got to the point where he felt guilty every
Finalmente, chegou ao ponto de se sentir culpado todos os dias.
time he put a piece in the rejected pile.
quando colocou uma peça na pilha de rejeitados.
And at last he saw that the
E, por fim, viu que o
mistake was on their part for not having specified as good a grade as
erro da parte deles por não terem especificado uma nota tão boa quanto
they needed.
"The ultimate outcome was that he went through the entire carload
"O resultado final foi que ele passou por toda a carga do carro
again after I left, accepted the whole lot, and we received a check in
novamente depois de eu sair, aceitou tudo e recebemos um cheque em
full.
completo.
"In that one instance alone, a little tact, and the determination to
"Só nesse caso, um pouco de tato e a determinação de
refrain from telling the other man he was wrong, saved my company
abster-se de dizer ao outro homem que ele estava errado, salvou a minha empresa
a substantial amount of cash, and it would be hard to place a money
uma quantia substancial de dinheiro, e seria difícil colocar um dinheiro
value on the good will that was saved.
valor da boa vontade que foi salva.
Martin Luther King was asked how, as a pacifist, he could be an
Perguntaram a Martin Luther King como é que, sendo um pacifista, podia ser um
admirer of Air Force General Daniel "Chappie" James, then the
admirador do General da Força Aérea Daniel "Chappie" James, na altura o
nation's highest-ranking black officer.
o oficial negro mais graduado do país.
Dr. King replied, "I judge
O Dr. King respondeu: "Eu julgo
people by their own principles - not by my own.
as pessoas pelos seus próprios princípios - não pelos meus.
In a similar way, General Robert E. Lee once spoke to the president
of the Confederacy, Jefferson Davis, in the most glowing terms about
da Confederação, Jefferson Davis, nos termos mais brilhantes sobre
a certain officer under his command.
um certo oficial sob o seu comando.
Another officer in attendance
Outro agente presente
was astonished.
ficou estupefacto.
"General," he said, " do you not know that the man
of whom you speak so highly is one of your bitterest enemies who
de quem tanto falas, é um dos teus inimigos mais ferrenhos que
misses no opportunity to malign you?
não perde nenhuma oportunidade de o difamar?
" "Yes," replied General Lee,
"but the president asked my opinion of him; he did not ask for his
opinion of me.
By the way, I am not revealing anything new in this chapter.
A propósito, não estou a revelar nada de novo neste capítulo.
Two
thousand years ago, Jesus said: "Agree with thine adversary
vor tausend Jahren, sagte Jesus: "Vereinbare dich mit deinem Widersacher
mil anos atrás, Jesus disse: "Concorda com o teu adversário
quickly.
rapidamente.
And 2,200 years before Christ was born, King Akhtoi of Egypt gave
E 2.200 anos antes do nascimento de Cristo, o rei Akhtoi do Egipto deu
his son some shrewd advice - advice that is sorely needed today.
seinem Sohn einen klugen Rat - einen Rat, der heute dringend gebraucht wird.
ao seu filho um conselho astuto - um conselho que é extremamente necessário hoje em dia.
"Be
diplomatic," counseled the King.
diplomático", aconselhou o Rei.
"It will help you gain your point. "
"Isso vai ajudar-te a ganhar o teu ponto de vista. "
In other words, don't argue with your customer or your spouse or
Por outras palavras, não discuta com o seu cliente ou com o seu cônjuge ou
your adversary.
o vosso adversário.
Don't tell them they are wrong, don't get them
Não lhes diga que estão errados, não os apanhe
stirred up.
agitado.
Use a little diplomacy.
Usa um pouco de diplomacia.
· Principle 2 - Show respect for the other person's opinions.
- Princípio 2 - Respeitar as opiniões dos outros.
Never
Nunca
say, "You're wrong.
dizer: "Estás enganado.
3 - If You're Wrong, Admit It
3 - Se estiveres errado, admite-o
Within a minute's walk of my house there was a wild stretch of virgin
Nur eine Minute Fußweg von meinem Haus entfernt gab es ein wildes Stück unberührter Natur.
A um minuto a pé da minha casa, havia uma extensão selvagem de terra virgem
timber, where the blackberry thickets foamed white in the
bois, où les fourrés de mûres ont mousse blanc dans la
madeira, onde os arbustos de amora espumavam brancos no
springtime, where the squirrels nested and reared their young, and
primavera, onde os esquilos faziam os seus ninhos e criavam as suas crias, e
the horseweeds grew as tall as a horse's head.
as ervas daninhas cresceram tão altas como a cabeça de um cavalo.
This unspoiled
Esta região intocada
woodland was called Forest Park - and it was a forest, probably not
much different in appearance from what it was when Columbus
discovered America.
I frequently walked in this park with Rex, my
little Boston bulldog.
pequeno bulldog de Boston.
He was a friendly, harmless little hound; and
C'était un petit chien amical et inoffensif; et
Era um cãozinho simpático e inofensivo; e
since we rarely met anyone in the park, I took Rex along without a
Como raramente encontrávamos alguém no parque, levei o Rex sem
leash or a muzzle.
trela ou açaime.
One day we encountered a mounted policeman in the park, a
Eines Tages begegneten wir im Park einem berittenen Polizisten, einem
Um dia encontrámos um polícia montado no parque, um
policeman itching to show his authority.
polícia com vontade de mostrar a sua autoridade.
"'What do you mean by letting that dog run loose in the park without
"Que voulez-vous dire en laissant ce chien courir en liberté dans le parc sans
"'O que é que quer dizer com deixar o cão à solta no parque sem
a muzzle and leash?
" he reprimanded me.
", repreendeu-me.
"Don't you know it's
"Não sabes que é
against the law?
"Yes, I know it is," I replied softy, "but I didn't think he would do any
"Sim, eu sei que é", respondi suavemente, "mas não pensei que ele fizesse alguma coisa
harm out here.
prejudicar aqui.
"You didn't think!
You didn't think!
Não pensaste!
The law doesn't give a tinker's
La loi ne donne pas un bricoleur
A lei está-se nas tintas para
damn about what you think.
That dog might kill a squirrel or bite a
child.
Now, I'm going to let you off this time; but if I catch this dog
out here again without a muzzle and a leash, you'll have to tell it to
the judge .
I meekly promised to obey.
And I did obey - for a few times.
But Rex didn't like the muzzle, and
neither did I; so we decided to take a chance.
nem eu, por isso decidimos arriscar.
Everything was lovely
Tudo estava ótimo
for a while, and then we struck a snag.
pendant un moment, puis nous avons heurté un obstacle.
durante algum tempo, mas depois deparámo-nos com um obstáculo.
Rex and I raced over the
O Rex e eu corremos para o
brow of a hill one afternoon and there, suddenly - to my dismay - I
uma tarde no cimo de uma colina e, de repente, para meu espanto
saw the majesty of the law, astride a bay horse.
viu a majestade da lei, montada num cavalo baio.
Rex was out in
O Rex estava em
front, heading straight for the officer.
à frente, dirigindo-se diretamente para o oficial.
I was in for it.
Ich war dabei.
Eu estava a ser enganado.
I knew it.
So I didn't wait until the policeman started
Por isso, não esperei que o polícia começasse
talking.
I beat him to it.
Je l'ai battu à elle.
Cheguei primeiro que ele.
I said: "Officer, you've caught me red-
Eu disse-lhe: "Sr. Agente, apanhou-me em flagrante.
handed.
entregue.
I'm guilty.
Eu sou culpado.
I have no alibis, no excuses.
Não tenho álibis, não tenho desculpas.
You warned me last
week that if I brought the dog out here again without a muzzle you
would fine me.
me multaria.
"Well, now," the policeman responded in a soft tone.
"Bem, agora", respondeu o polícia num tom suave.
"I know it's a
"Eu sei que é uma
temptation to let a little dog like that have a run out here when
tentação de deixar um cãozinho como esse correr aqui fora quando
nobody is around.
"Sure it's a temptation," I replied, "but it is against the law.
"Well, a little dog like that isn't going to harm anybody," the
policeman remonstrated.
O polícia protestou.
"No, but he may kill squirrels," I said.
"Well now, I think you are taking this a bit too seriously," he told me.
"I'll tell you what you do.
You just let him run over the hill there
Deixou-o correr para lá da colina
where I can't see him - and we'll forget all about it.
That policeman, being human, wanted a feeling of importance; so
when I began to condemn myself, the only way he could nourish his
self-esteem was to take the magnanimous attitude of showing
autoestima era adotar a atitude magnânima de mostrar
mercy.
misericórdia.
But suppose I had tried to defend myself - well, did you ever argue
Mas se eu tivesse tentado defender-me - bem, alguma vez discutiu
with a policeman?
com um polícia?
But instead of breaking lances with him, I admitted that he was
Aber anstatt Lanzen mit ihm zu brechen, gab ich zu, dass er es war
Mais au lieu de casser des lances avec lui, j’ai admis qu’il était
Mas, em vez de quebrar lanças com ele, admiti que ele era
absolutely right and I was absolutely wrong; I admitted it quickly,
absolut richtig und ich lag absolut falsch; Ich habe es schnell zugegeben,
tinha toda a razão e eu estava absolutamente errado; admiti-o rapidamente,
openly, and with enthusiasm.
offen und mit Begeisterung.
The affair terminated graciously in my
Die Affäre endete gnädig in meiner
O caso terminou graciosamente na minha
taking his side and his taking my side.
auf seiner Seite und er auf meiner Seite.
Lord Chesterfield himself
O próprio Lord Chesterfield
could hardly have been more gracious than this mounted policeman,
hätte kaum gnädiger sein können als dieser berittene Polizist,
dificilmente poderia ter sido mais amável do que este polícia montado,
who, only a week previously, had threatened to have the law on me.
der nur eine Woche zuvor damit gedroht hatte, mich mit dem Gesetz zu belegen.
If we know we are going to be rebuked anyhow, isn't it far better to
Wenn wir wissen, dass wir sowieso zurechtgewiesen werden, ist es nicht viel besser, das zu tun
Si nous savons que nous allons être réprimandés de toute façon, ne vaut-il pas mieux
Se sabemos que vamos ser repreendidos de qualquer maneira, não será muito melhor
beat the other person to it and do it ourselves?
Anderen zuvorkommen und es selbst tun?
bater a outra pessoa e fazê-lo nós próprios?
Isn't it much easier
to listen to self-criticism than to bear condemnation from alien lips?
auf Selbstkritik hören, statt von fremden Lippen zu verurteilen?
ouvir a autocrítica do que suportar a condenação de lábios alheios?
Say about yourself all the derogatory things you know the other
Sagen Sie über sich selbst all die abfälligen Dinge, die Sie über den anderen wissen
Dites de vous toutes les choses désobligeantes que vous connaissez les autres
Dizer sobre si próprio todas as coisas depreciativas que sabe que o outro
person is thinking or wants to say or intends to say - and say them
a pessoa está a pensar ou quer dizer ou tenciona dizer - e dizê-las
before that person has a chance to say them.
The chances are a
As hipóteses são
hundred to one that a generous, forgiving attitude will be taken and
cem a um que será adoptada uma atitude generosa e de perdão e
your mistakes will be minimized just as the mounted policeman did
with me and Rex.
Ferdinand E. Warren, a commercial artist, used this technique to win
Ferdinand E. Warren, um artista comercial, utilizou esta técnica para ganhar
the good will of a petulant, scolding buyer of art.
la bonne volonté d'un pétulant, repreneur d'acheteur d'art.
a boa vontade de um comprador de arte petulante e repreensivo.
"It is important, in making drawings for advertising and publishing
"Es ist wichtig, bei der Anfertigung von Zeichnungen für Werbung und Verlagswesen
"Il est important de réaliser des dessins pour la publicité et l'édition
"É importante, ao fazer desenhos para publicidade e publicação
purposes, to be precise and very exact," Mr. Warren said as he told
para ser preciso e muito exato", disse o Sr. Warren ao contar
the story.
"Some art editors demand that their commissions be executed
„Einige Kunstredakteure verlangen, dass ihre Aufträge ausgeführt werden
"Alguns editores de arte exigem que as suas encomendas sejam executadas
immediately; and in these cases, some slight error is liable to occur.
sofort; und in diesen Fällen kann leicht ein kleiner Fehler auftreten.
imediatamente; e, nestes casos, é possível que ocorra algum erro ligeiro.
knew one art director in particular who was always delighted to find
kannte einen Art Director besonders, der sich immer freute, ihn zu finden
connaissait un directeur artistique en particulier qui était toujours ravi de trouver
conhecia um diretor de arte em particular que ficava sempre contente por encontrar
fault with some little thing.
Fehler mit einer Kleinigkeit.
I have often left his office in disgust, not
Ich habe sein Büro oft angewidert verlassen, nicht
Saí muitas vezes do seu gabinete com repugnância, não
because of the criticism, but because of his method of attack.
Recently I delivered a rush job to this editor, and he phoned me to
Kürzlich habe ich diesem Redakteur einen Eilauftrag geliefert, und er hat mich angerufen
call at his office immediately.
He said something was wrong.
Ele disse que algo estava errado.
When I
arrived, I found just what I had anticipated - and dreaded.
angekommen, fand ich genau das, was ich erwartet hatte - und gefürchtet.
arrivé, j’ai trouvé ce que j’avais prévu - et redouté.
Quando cheguei, encontrei exatamente o que tinha previsto - e temido.
He was
hostile, gloating over his chance to criticize.
hostile, jubilant sur sa chance de critiquer.
hostil, regozijando-se com a sua oportunidade de criticar.
He demanded with heat
forderte er mit Hitze
Ele exigiu com calor
why I had done so and so.
porque é que eu tinha feito isto e aquilo.
My opportunity had come to apply the
Chegou a minha oportunidade de aplicar o
self-criticism I had been studying about.
Selbstkritik, über die ich studiert hatte.
So I said: ''Mr.
So-and-so, if
fulano de tal, se
what you say is true, I am at fault and there is absolutely no excuse
was Sie sagen, ist wahr, ich bin schuld und es gibt absolut keine Entschuldigung
o que diz é verdade, a culpa é minha e não há qualquer desculpa
for my blunder.
pelo meu erro.
I have been doing drawings for you long enough to
Ich zeichne schon lange genug für dich
Já faço desenhos para si há tempo suficiente para
know bet-ter.
saber melhor.
I'm ashamed of myself. '
"Immediately he started to defend me.
'Yes, you're right, but after
all, this isn't a serious mistake.
It is only -'
"I interrupted him.
"Eu interrompi-o.
'Any mistake,' I said, 'may be costly and they are
Qualquer erro", disse eu, "pode custar caro e eles são
all irritating.
tudo irritante.
"He started to break in, but I wouldn't let him.
"Il a commencé à s'introduire, mais je ne l'ai pas laissé faire.
"Ele começou a entrar, mas eu não deixei.
I was having a grand
Estava a divertir-me imenso
time.
For the first time in my life, I was criticizing myself - and I
loved it.
" 'I should have been more careful,' I continued.
'You give me a lot
of work, and you deserve the best; so I'm going to do this drawing
der Arbeit, und Sie verdienen das Beste; Also werde ich diese Zeichnung machen
all over.
em todo o lado.
" 'No!
No!
' he protested.
', protestou.
'I wouldn't think of putting you to all that
'Je ne penserais pas à vous mettre à tout ça
'Não me passaria pela cabeça submeter-te a tudo isso
trouble.
' He praised my work, assured me that he wanted only a
Elogiou o meu trabalho, assegurou-me que queria apenas um
minor change and that my slight error hadn't cost his firm any
e que o meu pequeno erro não tinha custado nada à sua empresa
money; and, after all, it was a mere detail - not worth worrying
dinheiro; e, afinal de contas, era um mero pormenor - não valia a pena preocupar-se
about.
"My eagerness to criticize myself took all the fight out of him.
"A minha vontade de me criticar tirou-lhe toda a luta.
He
ended up by taking me to lunch; and before we parted, he gave me
acabou por me levar a almoçar; e antes de nos separarmos, deu-me
a check and another commission"
There is a certain degree of satisfaction in having the courage to
Es liegt eine gewisse Befriedigung darin, den Mut dazu zu haben
Há um certo grau de satisfação em ter a coragem de
admit one's errors.
seine Fehler eingestehen.
admitir os seus erros.
It not only clears the air of guilt and
defensiveness, but often helps solve the problem created by the
defensiva, mas muitas vezes ajuda a resolver o problema criado pela
error.
Bruce Harvey of Albuquerque, New Mexico, had incorrectly
Bruce Harvey de Albuquerque, Novo México, tinha incorretamente
authorized payment of full wages to an employee on sick leave.
autorisé le paiement de la totalité du salaire à un employé en congé de maladie.
autorizou o pagamento da totalidade do salário a um trabalhador que se encontra de baixa por doença.
When he discovered his error, he brought it to the attention of the
Quando descobriu o seu erro, chamou a atenção do
employee and explained that to correct the mistake he would have to
reduce his next paycheck by the entire amount of the overpayment.
reduzir o seu próximo salário no montante total do pagamento em excesso.
The employee pleaded that as that would cause him a serious
O trabalhador alegou que, como isso lhe causaria um grave
financial problem, could the money be repaid over a period of time?
In order to do this, Harvey explained, he would have to obtain his
Para o fazer, explicou Harvey, teria de obter o seu
supervisor's approval.
aprovação do supervisor.
"And this I knew," reported Harvey, "would
"E eu sabia", relatou Harvey, "que isso iria
result in a boss-type explosion, While trying to decide how to handle
resultar numa explosão do tipo boss, Enquanto tentava decidir como lidar com
this situation better, I realized that the whole mess was my fault and
I would have to admit I it to my boss.
"I walked into his office, told him that I had made a mistake and
then informed him of the complete facts.
depois informou-o de todos os factos.
He replied in an explosive
manner that it was the fault of the personnel department.
que a culpa era do departamento de pessoal.
I repeated
that it was my fault.
He exploded again about carelessness in the
Ele voltou a falar sobre a falta de cuidado na
accounting department.
Again I explained it was my fault.
He blamed
two other people in the office.
But each time I reiterated it was my
fault.
Finally, he looked at me and said, 'Okay, it was your fault.
Now
straighten it out.
redressez-le.
endireitar a situação.
' The error was corrected and nobody got into
O erro foi corrigido e ninguém foi apanhado
trouble.
I felt great because I was able to handle a tense situation
and had the courage not to seek alibis.
e teve a coragem de não procurar álibis.
My boss has had more
respect for me ever since.
respeito por mim desde então.
Any fool can try to defend his or her mistakes - and most fools do -
but it raises one above the herd and gives one a feeling of nobility
mas eleva-nos acima do rebanho e dá-nos um sentimento de nobreza
and exultation to admit one's mistakes.
e a exultação de admitir os próprios erros.
For example, one of the most
beautiful things that history records about Robert E. Lee is the way
coisas bonitas que a história regista sobre Robert E. Lee é a forma como
he blamed himself and only himself for the failure of Pickett's charge
ele culpou-se a si próprio e apenas a si próprio pelo fracasso da carga de Pickett
at Gettysburg.
Pickett's charge was undoubtedly the most brilliant and picturesque
A investida de Pickett foi, sem dúvida, a mais brilhante e pitoresca
attack that ever occurred in the Western world.
ataque que alguma vez ocorreu no mundo ocidental.
General George E.
Pickett himself was picturesque.
O próprio Pickett era pitoresco.
He wore his hair so long that his
Ele usava o cabelo tão comprido que o seu
auburn locks almost touched his shoulders; and, like Napoleon in his
Os cabelos ruivos quase lhe tocavam os ombros; e, como Napoleão no seu
Italian campaigns, he wrote ardent love-letters almost daily while on
Durante as campanhas italianas, escreveu quase diariamente cartas de amor ardentes
the battlefield.
no campo de batalha.
His devoted troops cheered him that tragic July
Seine ergebenen Truppen jubelten ihm an jenem tragischen Juli zu
Ses troupes dévouées l'acclamèrent en juillet tragique
As suas devotadas tropas aplaudiram-no nesse trágico mês de julho
afternoon as he rode off jauntily toward the Union lines, his cap set
après-midi alors qu’il se dirigeait vers les lignes de l’Union, sa casquette
tarde, enquanto cavalgava alegremente em direção às linhas da União, com o seu boné
at a rakish angle over his right ear.
à un angle rakish sur son oreille droite.
num ângulo irregular sobre a orelha direita.
They cheered and they followed
Aplaudiram e seguiram
him, man touching man, rank pressing rank, with banners flying and
Mann gegen Mann, Rang gegen Rang, mit wehenden Fahnen und
lui, homme touchant, rang en appuyant sur le grade, avec des bannières en vol et
com os homens a tocarem-se, com as fileiras a apertarem-se, com os estandartes a voarem e
bayonets gleaming in the sun.
Bajonette glänzen in der Sonne.
baionetas a brilhar ao sol.
It was a gallant sight.
C'était un spectacle galant.
Foi uma visão galante.
Daring.
Audacieux.
Magnificent.
Prächtig.
Magnífico.
A murmur of admiration ran through the Union lines as
Um murmúrio de admiração percorreu as linhas da União quando
they beheld it.
ils l'ont vu.
Pickett's troops swept forward at any easy trot, through orchard and
Les troupes de Pickett ont balayé en avant à tout trot facile, à travers verger et
As tropas de Pickett avançaram a trote fácil, através de pomares e
cornfield, across a meadow and over a ravine.
um campo de milho, através de um prado e por cima de uma ravina.
All the time, the
enemy's cannon was tearing ghastly holes in their ranks, But on they
Die Kanonen des Feindes rissen grässliche Löcher in ihre Reihen, aber sie gingen weiter
le canon de l'ennemi était en train de déchirer des trous horribles dans leurs rangs, mais sur
O canhão do inimigo fazia buracos horríveis nas suas fileiras, Mas eles continuavam
pressed, grim, irresistible.
pressé, sinistre, irrésistible.
pressionado, sombrio, irresistível.
Suddenly the Union infantry rose from behind the stone wall on
Tout à coup, l’infanterie de l’Union se dressa derrière le mur de pierre
De repente, a infantaria da União ergueu-se por detrás do muro de pedra
Cemetery Ridge where they had been hiding and fired volley after
Cemetery Ridge, wo sie sich versteckt hatten, und feuerten eine Salve nach der anderen.
Cimetière Ridge où ils se cachaient et ont tiré la volée après
Cemetery Ridge, onde se tinham escondido, e dispararam tiros atrás de tiros.
volley into Pickett's onrushing troops.
Volée dans les troupes qui coulent de Pickett.
e disparou contra as tropas de Pickett.
The crest of the hill was a
La crête de la colline était un
O cume da colina era um
sheet of flame, a slaughterhouse, a blazing volcano.
feuille de flamme, un abattoir, un volcan en flammes.
um lençol de chamas, um matadouro, um vulcão em chamas.
In a few
minutes, all of Pickett's brigade commanders except one were down,
minutes, tous les commandants de brigade de Pickett sauf un étaient en panne,
minutos, todos os comandantes de brigada de Pickett, exceto um, foram abatidos,
and four-fifths of his five thousand men had fallen.
et quatre cinquièmes de ses cinq mille hommes étaient tombés.
e quatro quintos dos seus cinco mil homens tinham caído.
General Lewis A. Armistead, leading the troops in the final plunge,
General Lewis A. Armistead, der die Truppen beim letzten Vorstoß anführt,
General Lewis A. Armistead, liderando as tropas no mergulho final,
ran forward, vaulted over the stone wall, and, waving his cap on the
rannte vorwärts, sprang über die Steinmauer und schwenkte seine Mütze auf dem
courut en avant, sauta par-dessus le mur de pierre et, agitant son bonnet sur le
correu para a frente, saltou o muro de pedra e, agitando o boné sobre a
top of his sword, shouted: "Give 'em the steel, boys!
dessus de son épée, cria: "Donne-leur de l’acier, les garçons!
e, com o topo da sua espada, gritou: "Dêem-lhes o aço, rapazes!
They did.
They leaped over the wall, bayoneted their enemies,
Ils ont sauté par-dessus le mur, à la baïonnette leurs ennemis,
Saltavam o muro e batiam com as baionetas nos seus inimigos,
smashed skulls with clubbed muskets, and planted the battleflags of
crânes brisé avec des mousquets, et planté les drapeaux de bataille de
esmagaram crânios com mosquetes e fincaram as bandeiras de batalha de
the South on Cemetery Ridge.
a sul, em Cemetery Ridge.
The banners waved there only for a
Les bannières y ont fait signe que pour un
Os estandartes foram exibidos apenas por um
moment.
But that moment, brief as it was, recorded the high-water
Aber dieser Moment, so kurz er auch war, zeichnete das Hochwasser auf
Mais ce moment, aussi bref soit-il, a enregistré la marée montante
Mas esse momento, por muito breve que tenha sido, registou o ponto alto
mark of the Confederacy.
marca da Confederação.
Pickett's charge - brilliant, heroic - was nevertheless the beginning of
La charge de Pickett - brillante, héroïque - fut néanmoins le début de
然而,皮克特(Pickett)的职责-出色,英勇-才是
the end.
la fin.
Lee had failed.
Lee avait échoué.
He could not penetrate the North.
And he
knew it.
The South was doomed.
Le Sud était condamné.
O Sul estava condenado.
Lee was so saddened, so shocked, that he sent in his resignation and
Lee était tellement attristé et choqué qu'il a envoyé sa démission et
Lee ficou tão triste, tão chocado, que apresentou a sua demissão e
asked Jefferson Davis, the president of the Confederacy, to appoint
a demandé à Jefferson Davis, président de la Confédération, de nommer
pediu a Jefferson Davis, o presidente da Confederação, que nomeasse
"a younger and abler man.
"um homem mais jovem e mais capaz.
" If Lee had wanted to blame the
" Se o Lee quisesse culpar os
disastrous failure of Pickett's charge on someone else, he could have
desastroso fracasso da investida de Pickett sobre outra pessoa, ele poderia ter
found a score of alibis.
encontrou uma série de álibis.
Some of his division commanders had failed
Certains de ses commandants de division avaient échoué
Alguns dos seus comandantes de divisão tinham falhado
him.
The cavalry hadn't arrived in time to support the infantry attack.
A cavalaria não tinha chegado a tempo de apoiar o ataque da infantaria.
This had gone wrong and that had gone awry.
Cela avait mal tourné et cela avait mal tourné.
Isto tinha corrido mal e aquilo tinha corrido mal.
But Lee was far too noble to blame others.
Mas Lee era demasiado nobre para culpar os outros.
As Pickett's beaten and
Comme Pickett est battu et
Como Pickett foi derrotado e
bloody troops struggled back to the Confederate lines, Robert E. Lee
les troupes sanglantes ont lutté vers les lignes confédérées, Robert E. Lee
as tropas sangrentas lutavam para regressar às linhas da Confederação, Robert E. Lee
rode out to meet them all alone and greeted them with a self-
est venu à leur rencontre tout seul et les a accueillis avec un
foi ao encontro deles sozinho e saudou-os com um auto
condemnation that was little short of sublime.
Verurteilung, die kaum weniger als erhaben war.
condamnation qui était presque sublime.
condenação que foi pouco menos que sublime.
"All this has been my
fault," he confessed.
"I and I alone have lost this battle. "
Few generals in all history have had the courage and character to
Peu de généraux de toute l'histoire ont eu le courage et le caractère de
admit that.
Michael Cheung, who teaches our course in Hong Kong, told of how
the Chinese culture presents some special problems and how
a cultura chinesa apresenta alguns problemas especiais e como
sometimes it is necessary to recognize that the benefit of applying a
por vezes é necessário reconhecer que o benefício da aplicação de um
principle may be more advantageous than maintaining an old
princípio pode ser mais vantajoso do que manter uma
tradition.
He had one middle-aged class member who had been
Ele tinha um aluno de meia-idade que tinha sido
estranged from his son for many years.
séparé de son fils pendant de nombreuses années.
afastado do seu filho durante muitos anos.
The father had been an
O pai tinha sido um
opium addict, but was now cured.
toxicomane à l'opium, mais était maintenant guéri.
In Chinese tradition an older
person cannot take the first step.
personne ne peut pas faire le premier pas.
não pode dar o primeiro passo.
The father felt that it was up to his
Le père a estimé que c'était à son tour
O pai achou que cabia ao seu
son to take the initiative toward a reconciliation.
filho para tomar a iniciativa de uma reconciliação.
In an early session,
Numa sessão inicial,
he told the class about the grandchildren he had never seen and how
much he desired to be reunited with his son.
desejava muito reunir-se com o seu filho.
His classmates, all
Chinese, understood his conflict between his desire and long-
established tradition.
tradição estabelecida.
The father felt that young people should have
respect for their elders and that he was right in not giving in to his
respeito pelos mais velhos e que ele tinha razão em não ceder aos seus
desire, but to wait for his son to come to him.
désir, mais d'attendre que son fils vienne à lui.
Toward the end of the course the father again addressed his class.
No final do curso, o pai dirigiu-se novamente à turma.
"I
have pondered this problem," he said.
ont réfléchi à ce problème ", at-il déclaré.
reflectiram sobre este problema", afirmou.
"Dale Carnegie says, 'If you
are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
se estiver errado, admita-o rápida e enfaticamente.
' It is too late for me to
admit it quickly, but I can admit it emphatically.
I wronged my son.
J'ai fait du tort à mon fils.
Fiz mal ao meu filho.
He was right in not wanting to see me and to expel me from his life.
Ele tinha razão em não querer ver-me e em expulsar-me da sua vida.
I may lose face by asking a younger person's forgiveness, but I was
Je peux perdre la face en demandant pardon à une personne plus jeune, mais j’étais
Posso perder a face ao pedir perdão a uma pessoa mais nova, mas eu estava
at fault and it is my responsibility to admit this.
e cabe-me a responsabilidade de o admitir.
" The class applauded
and gave him their full support.
e deram-lhe todo o seu apoio.
At the next class he told how he
Na aula seguinte, contou como
went to his son's house, asked for and received forgiveness and was
foi a casa do seu filho, pediu e recebeu perdão e foi
now embarked on a new relationship with his son, his daughter-in-
entame maintenant une nouvelle relation avec son fils, sa fille
law and the grandchildren he had at last met.
e os netos que tinha finalmente conhecido.
Elbert Hubbard was one of the most original authors who ever stirred
Elbert Hubbard foi um dos autores mais originais que alguma vez agitou
up a nation, and his stinging sentences often aroused fierce
e as suas frases mordazes suscitavam frequentemente
resentment.
But Hubbard with his rare skill for handling people
Mas Hubbard, com a sua rara habilidade para lidar com pessoas
frequently turned his enemies into friends.
transformava frequentemente os seus inimigos em amigos.
For example, when some irritated reader wrote in to say that he
Por exemplo, quando um leitor irritado escreveu para dizer que
didn't agree with such and such an article and ended by calling
não concordou com tal e tal artigo e acabou por chamar
Hubbard this and that, Elbert Hubbard would answer like this:
Hubbard isto e aquilo, Elbert Hubbard responderia assim:
Come to think it over, I don't entirely agree with it myself.
Kommen Sie, um darüber nachzudenken, ich bin selbst nicht ganz damit einverstanden.
En y réfléchissant, je ne suis pas tout à fait d'accord avec ça moi-même.
Pensando bem, eu próprio não concordo inteiramente com isso.
Not
everything I wrote yesterday appeals to me today.
tudo o que escrevi ontem, hoje, é-me útil.
I am glad to learn
Estou contente por saber
what you think on the subject.
o que pensa sobre o assunto.
The next time you are in the
neighborhood you must visit us and we'll get this subject threshed
bairro, tem de nos visitar e vamos abordar este assunto
out for all time.
para sempre.
So here is a handclasp over the miles, and I am,
Alors voici une poignée de main sur les miles, et je suis,
Então aqui está um fecho de mão sobre as milhas, e eu estou,
Yours sincerely,
Com os melhores cumprimentos,
What could you say to a man who treated you like that?
O que é que podias dizer a um homem que te tratava assim?
When we are right, let's try to win people gently and tactfully to our
Quando tivermos razão, tentemos conquistar as pessoas com delicadeza e tato para a nossa
way of thinking, and when we are wrong - and that will be
e quando estivermos errados - e isso será
surprisingly often, if we are honest with ourselves - let's admit our
surpreendentemente, muitas vezes, se formos honestos connosco próprios - admitamos a nossa
mistakes quickly and with enthusiasm.
Not only will that technique
Não só essa técnica
produce astonishing results; but, believe it or not, it is a lot more
fun, under the circumstances, than trying to defend oneself.
divertido, dadas as circunstâncias, do que tentar defender-se.
Remember the old proverb: "By fighting you never get enough, but
Erinnern Sie sich an das alte Sprichwort: "Durch Kämpfen bekommt man nie genug, aber
Rappelez-vous le vieux proverbe: "En vous battant, vous n’en avez jamais assez, mais
Lembre-se do velho provérbio: "Lutando nunca se consegue o suficiente, mas
by yielding you get more than you expected.
en cédant, vous obtenez plus que prévu.
ao ceder, obtém-se mais do que se esperava.
· Principle 3 - If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Grundsatz 3 - Wenn Sie sich irren, geben Sie es schnell und nachdrücklich zu.