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George Carlin, George Carlin - Fat People

George Carlin - Fat People

People are fucking dumb.You can say what you want about this country and I love this place.

I love the freedoms we used to have. I love that. I love it when it didn't take a fucking catastrophy to get us to care for one another. I love the fact that we're on camera all the time, from all angles. But you know, you can say what you want about America and I say I love this place. I wouldn't have it any other way, live in any other time in history or any other place. BUT! Say what you want about America, land of the free, home of the brave, we've got some dumb-ass motherfuckers floating around in this country. *Dumb-ass motherfuckers*.Now, obviously that doesn't include this audience. I understand that. You seem intelligent and perceptive. But the rest of them, holy jumping fucking shit balls. Dumber than a second coat of paint. And this isn't just ranting and raving. This isn't just blowing off steam. I've got a little evidence to support my claim. It just seems to me, *seems* to me, that only a really low IQ population could have taken this beautiful continent, this magnificent American landscape that we inherited. Well actually we stole it from the Mexicans and the Indians, but hey, it was nice when we stole it. Looked pretty good, it was pristine. Paradise. Have you seen it lately? Have you taken a good look at it lately? It's fucking embarrasing. Only a nation of unenlightened half-wits could have taken this beautiful place and turned it into what it is today – a shopping mall. A big fucking shopping mall. You know that, that's all you've got here, folks. Mile after mile after mile of malls after malls. Many, many malls. Major malls and mini malls. They put the mini malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini malls, they put the mini marts. And in between the mini marts, you got the car lots, gas stations, muffler shops, laundry mats, cheap motels, fast food joints, strip clubs and dirty bookstores. America the beautiful. One big transcontinental commercial cesspool. And how do the people feel about all this? How do people feel about living in a coast to coast shopping mall? Well they think it's JUST FUCKING DANDY!They think it is as cool as can be, because Americans love the mall. That's where they get to satisfy their two most prominent addictions, at the same time – shopping and eating. Millions of semi-conscious Americans, day after day, shuffling through the malls, shopping and eating. Especially eating. Americans *love* to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food. Hot dogs, corn dogs, triple-baconed cheese-burgers, deep fried butter-dipped pork, fat and cheese-whiz mayonnaise, soak-barbequed mozarella patty mouths. Americans will eat anything. Anything! If you were selling sortayed raccoon's assholes on a stick, Americans would buy them and eat them. Especially if you dipped them in butter and put a little salt on them. This country is big time pig-time. Forget the bald eagle. You know what the national emblem of this country ought to be? A big bowl of macaroni and cheese. A big bowl, because everything in this country is king-sized, extra-large and super-jumbo.Especially the fucking people. Have you seen some of the people of this country? Have you taken a good look at some of these big fat motherfuckers walking around, big fat motherfuckers. Oh my god, huge piles of redundant protoplasm, lumbering through the malls, like a fleet of interstate buses. The people in this country are immense. Massive bellies. Monstreous thighs. And big fat fucking asses. And if you stand there a minute and look at one of them, you begin to wonder: how does this woman take shit. How does she shit? And even more frightening: how does she wipe her ass? Can she even locate her asshole? She must require assistance. Are paramedics trained in this field? And standing right next to her, of course, with a plate full of nachos, a mouth full of pies, her clueless fucking husband Joe Sixpack, with his montreous swallen beer belly hanging dangerously out over his beer belt buckle. This guy hasn't seen his dick since the Nixon administration. And if you stand there and look at the two of them you begin to wonder to yourself: do these people fuck? Is this man actually capable of fucking this woman? It doesn't seem structurally possible that these two people could achieve penetration. Maybe they're in that Cirque du Soleil or something.I'm telling you, the people in this country, every one of them, is fifty pounds over-weight. They are gargantuan. And in the summer time, God help us, in the summer time they all want to wear short pants. Jesus Lord, protector of all that is good and holy, deliver me from fat people their short pants. They've all got short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids. Short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids. Every one of them has two dumb ass kids with them. And the whole family is wearing T-shirts, and every one of them has got the same T-shirt: „ I'm with stupid“ . Apparently, in this country, the Stupids are an extended family. And besides wearing them T-shirts, every one of them families have got on a backpack, strapped to their back, so that they could carry around lots of stupid shit. And the reason they need to carry their stupid shit strapped to their backs is because their hands must remain free at all times to hold food. And to get that food up to the mouth where it gets shoveled in with all the rest of the disgusting shit they ate that day. And another reason for the backpacks is these people are going to buy even more stupid shit. They haven't got enough stupid shit at home, they just had a stupid shit sale and they are going to buy more.They are going to go out in the parking lot and stuff this stuff into their big fat ugly oversized SUV, that's got plenty of room in it for stupid shit and lots of room left over for these big fat ugly motherfuckers to get them home. Stopping of course for jelly roll and fried dough.These people. These people are efficient professional compulsive consumers. They think of that as their national pride. It's their civic duty. Consumption. It's the new national pasttime. Fuck baseball, it's consumption. The only true lasting American value that's left. Buying things. People spending money they don't have on things they don't need. Money they don't have on things they don't need. So they can max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives paying 18% on something that only costs 12.50. And they didn't like it when they got it home, anyway. Not too bright, folks, not too fucking bright.But if you talk to one of them about this, if you isolate one of them, you sit him down, rationally, you talk to him about the low IQ's and the dumb behaviour and the bad decisions, right away they start talking about education. That's the big answer to everything. Education. They say we need more money for education, we need more books, more teachers, more classrooms, more schools, we need more testing for the kids. You say to one of them: well, you know, we've tried all of that and the kids still can't pass the tests. Ah don't you worry about that, we're going to lower the passing grades . And that's what they do in a lot of these schools, they lower the passing grades, so more kids can pass. More kids pass, the school looks good, everybody is happy, the IQ of the country slips another two or three points and pretty soon all you need to get into college is a fucking pencil. Got a pencil, get the fuck in there, it's physics. Then everyone wonders why 17 other countries graduate more scientists than we do. Education! Politicians know that word. They use it on you.Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things: the Flag, the Bible and Children. No child left behind! No child left behind! Oh really? It wasn't long ago that you were talking about giving kids a head start. Head start? Left behind? Someone's losing fucking ground here.

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George Carlin - Fat People George Carlin - Fette Menschen George Carlin - Gente gorda George Carlin - Les gros 조지 칼린 - 뚱뚱한 사람들 乔治-卡林 - 胖人

People are fucking dumb.You can say what you want about this country and I love this place. Люди до біса тупі. Ви можете говорити про цю країну що завгодно, і я люблю це місце.

I love the freedoms we used to have. Мені подобаються свободи, які ми мали раніше. I love that. I love it when it didn’t take a fucking catastrophy to get us to care for one another. |||||||||재앙|||||||| 재앙이 일어나지 않아도 서로를 돌볼 수 있다는 점이 정말 좋았어요. Ik vind het geweldig als er geen rampspoed voor nodig was om ons voor elkaar te laten zorgen. Мне нравится, когда для того, чтобы заставить нас заботиться друг о друге, не нужна чертова катастрофа. Мені подобається, коли не потрібна довбана катастрофа, щоб змусити нас піклуватися одне про одного. I love the fact that we’re on camera all the time, from all angles. |||||||카메라||||||각도들 모든 각도에서 항상 카메라에 찍힌다는 점이 마음에 듭니다. Мне нравится, что мы постоянно находимся под прицелом камеры, со всех ракурсов. But you know, you can say what you want about America and I say I love this place. 하지만 미국에 대해 원하는 것은 무엇이든 말할 수 있고 저는 이곳을 사랑한다고 말합니다. Но знаете, вы можете говорить об Америке все, что хотите, а я говорю, что люблю это место. I wouldn’t have it any other way, live in any other time in history or any other place. 역사상 다른 시대나 다른 장소에서 살았다면 다른 방식으로 살지 않았을 것입니다. Я бы не хотел, чтобы все было иначе, чтобы я жил в другое время или в другом месте. BUT! Say what you want about America, land of the free, home of the brave, we’ve got some dumb-ass motherfuckers floating around in this country. ||||||||||||||||||||떠다니는|||| 자유의 나라, 용감한 자들의 고향인 미국에 대해 뭐라고 말하든, 이 나라에는 멍청한 놈들이 떠돌아다니고 있습니다. *Dumb-ass motherfuckers*.Now, obviously that doesn’t include this audience. *물론 여기에는 이 청중은 포함되지 않습니다. *Тупі діди*. Тепер, очевидно, це не включає цю аудиторію. I understand that. You seem intelligent and perceptive. Вы кажетесь умным и проницательным. Ви виглядаєте розумним і проникливим. But the rest of them, holy jumping fucking shit balls. اما بقیه آنها ، پرش مقدس توپ های گه لعنتی. 하지만 나머지는 빌어먹을 개똥 같은 놈들입니다. Но все остальные - святые прыгающие, мать их, яйца. Dumber than a second coat of paint. ||||칠하기|| لاغرتر از رنگ دوم. 두 번 칠한 페인트보다 더 멍청합니다. Тупее, чем второй слой краски. Дурніше, ніж другий шар фарби. And this isn’t just ranting and raving. و این فقط طعنه زدن و رضایتی نیست. 그리고 이것은 단순한 호언장담이 아닙니다. И это не просто разглагольствования и бредни. І це не просто балаканина та марення. This isn’t just blowing off steam. 이것은 단순한 화풀이가 아닙니다. Це не просто випускання пари. I’ve got a little evidence to support my claim. 제 주장을 뒷받침할 증거가 조금 있습니다. У меня есть небольшое доказательство, подтверждающее мое утверждение. It just seems to me, *seems* to me, that only a really low IQ population could have taken this beautiful continent, this magnificent American landscape that we inherited. ||||||||||||||||||||||웅장한|||||물려받은 제가 보기에는 정말 낮은 IQ의 인구만이 이 아름다운 대륙, 우리가 물려받은 이 웅장한 미국의 풍경을 차지할 수 있었을 것 같습니다. Well actually we stole it from the Mexicans and the Indians, but hey, it was nice when we stole it. 사실 멕시코인들과 인디언들에게서 훔친 것이지만, 훔쳤을 때는 좋았어요. Looked pretty good, it was pristine. |||||청정한 Выглядел он очень хорошо, был девственно чист. Виглядало досить добре, було незайманим. Paradise. Have you seen it lately? Have you taken a good look at it lately? It’s fucking embarrasing. Це до біса соромно. Only a nation of unenlightened half-wits could have taken this beautiful place and turned it into what it is today – a shopping mall. ||||||바보들||||||||||||||||쇼핑몰| 이 아름다운 장소를 오늘날과 같은 쇼핑몰로 바꾸어 놓을 수 있었던 것은 깨달음을 얻지 못한 반쪽짜리 민족만이 할 수 있는 일이었습니다. Тільки нація неосвічених недоумків могла взяти це прекрасне місце і перетворити його на те, чим воно є сьогодні - торговий центр. A big fucking shopping mall. You know that, that’s all you’ve got here, folks. 여러분, 여기까지입니다. Mile after mile after mile of malls after malls. ||||||쇼핑몰|| 쇼핑몰과 쇼핑몰을 잇는 수 마일에 걸쳐 있습니다. Many, many malls. Major malls and mini malls. Великі торгові центри та міні-центри. They put the mini malls in between the major malls, and in between the mini malls, they put the mini marts. ||||||||||||||||||||미니 마트 대형 쇼핑몰과 대형 쇼핑몰 사이에 미니 쇼핑몰을 배치하고, 미니 쇼핑몰과 미니 쇼핑몰 사이에 미니 마트를 배치했습니다. Ze plaatsten de mini-winkelcentra tussen de grote winkelcentra en tussen de mini-winkelcentra zetten ze de mini-winkelcentra. And in between the mini marts, you got the car lots, gas stations, muffler shops, laundry mats, cheap motels, fast food joints, strip clubs and dirty bookstores. |||||||||||||머플러 가게||세탁소|세탁소||저렴한 모텔|||패스트푸드점|||||서점들 En tussen de mini-marts door, heb je de autoparkten, benzinestations, uitlaatdemperwinkels, wasmatten, goedkope motels, fastfoodketens, stripclubs en vuile boekhandels. А між міні-маркетами ви маєте автостоянки, заправки, магазини глушників, килимки для пралень, дешеві мотелі, заклади швидкого харчування, стрип-клуби та брудні книгарні. America the beautiful. One big transcontinental commercial cesspool. |||상업적 공간|오염된 상업 공간 Одна велика трансконтинентальна комерційна вигрібна яма. And how do the people feel about all this? 사람들은 이 모든 것에 대해 어떻게 생각할까요? How do people feel about living in a coast to coast shopping mall? Як люди ставляться до того, що живуть у торговому центрі на узбережжі? Well they think it’s JUST FUCKING DANDY!They think it is as cool as can be, because Americans love the mall. ||||||멋지다고 생각해|||||||||||||| Ну, вони думають, що це ПРОСТО ЧЕРТАНИЙ ДЕНДІ! Вони думають, що це максимально круто, тому що американці люблять торговий центр. That’s where they get to satisfy their two most prominent addictions, at the same time – shopping and eating. |||||||||주요한|중독||||||| Саме там вони можуть задовольнити дві свої найпомітніші залежності водночас – покупки та їжі. Millions of semi-conscious Americans, day after day, shuffling through the malls, shopping and eating. |||의식이 있는|||||어슬렁거리기|||||| Мільйони напівпритомних американців день за днем блукають торговими центрами, роблять покупки та їдять. Especially eating. Americans *love* to eat. They are fatally attracted to the slow death of fast food. ||치명적으로|매료된||||||| Їх фатально приваблює повільна смерть фастфуду. Hot dogs, corn dogs, triple-baconed cheese-burgers, deep fried butter-dipped pork, fat and cheese-whiz mayonnaise, soak-barbequed mozarella patty mouths. ||옥수수|||베이컨 추가된||햄버거||튀긴||담근||||||마요네즈|흠뻑 적신|바베큐된|모짜렐라|패티| 핫도그, 콘도그, 트리플 베이컨 치즈 버거, 버터에 찍어 튀긴 돼지고기, 지방과 치즈 위즈 마요네즈, 불에 구운 모짜렐라 패티 입에 넣습니다. Хот-доги, корн-доги, сирні гамбургери з потрійним беконом, смажена у фритюрі свинина, змочена вершковим маслом, жир і сирний майонез, смажені на грилі котлети з моцарелли. Americans will eat anything. Anything! If you were selling sortayed raccoon’s assholes on a stick, Americans would buy them and eat them. ||||정렬된|너구리의|엉덩이|||||||||| 너구리 똥꼬를 막대기에 꽂아 팔면 미국인들은 너구리 똥꼬를 사서 먹습니다. Якби ви продавали відсортовані мудаки єнота на палиці, американці купили б їх і з’їли б. Especially if you dipped them in butter and put a little salt on them. |||||||||||소금|| This country is big time pig-time. 이 나라는 엄청난 돼지 시대입니다. У цій країні настав час свиней. Forget the bald eagle. Забудьте білоголового орлана. You know what the national emblem of this country ought to be? A big bowl of macaroni and cheese. A big bowl, because everything in this country is king-sized, extra-large and super-jumbo.Especially the fucking people. |||||||||||||||점보|||| Велика чаша, тому що все в цій країні королівського розміру, надзвичайно велике та супервелике. Особливо довбані люди. Have you seen some of the people of this country? Have you taken a good look at some of these big fat motherfuckers walking around, big fat motherfuckers. Oh my god, huge piles of redundant protoplasm, lumbering through the malls, like a fleet of interstate buses. ||||더미||중복된 원형질|세포질|느릿느릿한||||||대형 버스들||주간 고속도로| 맙소사, 쇼핑몰을 가로지르는 거대한 여분의 원형질체 더미가 마치 시외버스처럼 쌓여 있습니다. Боже мій, величезні купи зайвої протоплазми, що куняться по торгових центрах, наче парк міжштатних автобусів. The people in this country are immense. 이 나라의 사람들은 엄청나게 많습니다. Людей у цій країні величезна кількість. Massive bellies. |배 거대한 배. Monstreous thighs. And big fat fucking asses. ||||엉덩이 En dikke kontjes. And if you stand there a minute and look at one of them, you begin to wonder: how does this woman take shit. 그리고 잠시 서서 그 중 한 명을 보면 이 여자는 어떻게 똥을 싸는지 궁금해지기 시작합니다. How does she shit? Як вона гадить? And even more frightening: how does she wipe her ass? |||||||닦다|| Can she even locate her asshole? |||위치 찾다|| She must require assistance. |||도움 Are paramedics trained in this field? |구급대원|||| And standing right next to her, of course, with a plate full of nachos, a mouth full of pies, her clueless fucking husband Joe Sixpack, with his montreous swallen beer belly hanging dangerously out over his beer belt buckle. |||||||||||||나초|||||||무지한||||평범한 남편|||거대한|부풀어 오른||맥주 배||위험하게||||||버클 물론 그녀의 바로 옆에는 나초가 가득 담긴 접시와 파이를 입에 가득 문 그녀의 멍청한 남편 조 식스팩이 맥주 벨트 버클 위로 위험하게 맥주 배를 내밀고 서 있었습니다. І, звісно, поруч із нею стоїть тарілочка, наповнена начосом, із ротом, наповненим пирогами, її безглуздий довбаний чоловік Джо Сікспак, а його жахливий роздутий пивний живіт небезпечно звисає над пряжкою пивного ременя. This guy hasn’t seen his dick since the Nixon administration. ||||||||닉슨| And if you stand there and look at the two of them you begin to wonder to yourself: do these people fuck? 그리고 거기 서서 두 사람을 바라보면 '이 사람들이 섹스하는 걸까? Is this man actually capable of fucking this woman? It doesn’t seem structurally possible that these two people could achieve penetration. |||구조적으로||||||||침투 이 두 사람이 침투하는 것은 구조적으로 불가능해 보입니다. Це структурно не здається можливим, щоб ці двоє людей могли досягти проникнення. Maybe they’re in that  Cirque du Soleil  or something.I’m telling you, the people in this country, every one of them, is fifty pounds over-weight. ||||서커스||서커스||||||||||||||||||| 태양의 서커스나 뭐 그런 곳에 있나 봐요. 이 나라 사람들은 모두 50파운드 이상 과체중이에요. They are gargantuan. Вони гігантські. And in the summer time, God help us, in the summer time they all want to wear short pants. 그리고 여름철에는 모두 짧은 바지를 입고 싶어 하죠. Jesus Lord, protector of all that is good and holy, deliver me from fat people their short pants. Господи Ісусе, захиснику всього доброго і святого, визволи мене від товстих людей їхні короткі штани. They’ve all got short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids. Short pants, big bellies, fat thighs and dumb kids. Every one of them has two dumb ass kids with them. And the whole family is wearing T-shirts, and every one of them has got the same T-shirt: „ I’m with stupid“ . Apparently, in this country, the Stupids are an extended family. |||||바보들|||| 이 나라에서 스투피드는 대가족이라고 할 수 있습니다. Blijkbaar zijn de Stupids in dit land een uitgebreide familie. Мабуть, у цій країні Дурні — велика родина. And besides wearing them T-shirts, every one of them families have got on a backpack, strapped to their back, so that they could carry around lots of stupid shit. |||||||||||||||배낭|메고 있는||||||||||||| А кроме футболок, на каждом из них был рюкзак, пристегнутый к спине, чтобы можно было таскать с собой кучу всякого дурацкого дерьма. And the reason they need to carry their stupid shit strapped to their backs is because their hands must remain free at all times to hold food. |||||||||||||||||||유지해야 한다||||||| 그리고 그 멍청한 똥을 등에 매고 다녀야 하는 이유는 음식을 잡기 위해 양손이 항상 자유로워야 하기 때문입니다. And to get that food up to the mouth where it gets shoveled in with all the rest of the disgusting shit they ate that day. ||||||||||||퍼올린||||||||||||| 그리고 그 음식이 그날 먹은 다른 역겨운 똥과 함께 입에 넣어지는 입까지 가져가야 합니다. І дістати цю їжу до рота, де її засипають лопатами разом із усім іншим огидним лайном, яке вони їли того дня. And another reason for the backpacks is these people are going to buy even more stupid shit. 그리고 백팩의 또 다른 이유는 이 사람들이 더 많은 멍청한 물건을 사게 될 것이기 때문입니다. They haven’t got enough stupid shit at home, they just had a stupid shit sale and they are going to buy more.They are going to go out in the parking lot and stuff this stuff into their big fat ugly oversized SUV, that’s got plenty of room in it for stupid shit and lots of room left over for these big fat ugly motherfuckers to get them home. ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||주차장|||||||||||너무 큰||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 그들은 집에 멍청한 똥이 충분하지 않고 방금 멍청한 똥 세일을했고 더 많이 살 것입니다. 그들은 주차장에 나가서이 물건을 크고 뚱뚱하고 못생긴 대형 SUV에 넣을 것입니다. 그 안에 멍청한 물건을 넣을 공간이 충분하고이 크고 뚱뚱한 개새끼들이 집에 가져갈 공간이 많이 남았습니다. Stopping of course for jelly roll and fried dough.These people. ||||젤리||||반죽|| 젤리 롤과 튀김 반죽을 위해 물론 멈추십시오. Зупинка, звичайно, на желейний рулет і смажене тісто. Ці люди. These people are efficient professional compulsive consumers. |||||강박적인 소비자|소비자들 Ці люди є ефективними професійними компульсивними споживачами. They think of that as their national pride. 그들은 그것을 국가적 자부심이라고 생각합니다. It’s their civic duty. ||시민| Consumption. It’s the new national pasttime. ||||국민 취미 새로운 국민 오락거리입니다. Це нове національне минуле. Fuck baseball, it’s consumption. The only true lasting American value that’s left. 유일하게 남아있는 진정한 미국적 가치입니다. Единственная настоящая и прочная американская ценность, которая осталась. Buying things. People spending money they don’t have on things they don’t need. 사람들은 필요 없는 물건에 필요하지도 않은 돈을 지출합니다. Money they don’t have on things they don’t need. 필요 없는 물건에 돈을 낭비합니다. So they can max out their credit cards and spend the rest of their lives paying 18% on something that only costs 12.50. ||||||신용|신용카드||||||||||||| And they didn’t like it when they got it home, anyway. 어쨌든 집에 가져갔을 때는 마음에 들지 않았어요. И все равно им не понравилось, когда они вернулись домой. Not too bright, folks, not too fucking bright.But if you talk to one of them about this, if you isolate one of them, you sit him down, rationally, you talk to him about the low IQ’s and the dumb behaviour and the bad decisions, right away they start talking about education. ||||||||||||||||||||분리하다||||||||합리적으로||||||||지능지수||||||||||||||| That’s the big answer to everything. Education. They say we need more money for education, we need more books, more teachers, more classrooms, more schools, we need more testing for the kids. You say to one of them: well, you know, we’ve tried all of that and the kids still can’t pass the tests. Ah don’t you worry about that, we’re going to lower the passing grades . ||||||||||||성적 And that’s what they do in a lot of these schools, they lower the passing grades, so more kids can pass. 많은 학교에서 합격 성적을 낮춰서 더 많은 아이들이 합격할 수 있도록 하는 것이 바로 이런 방식입니다. More kids pass, the school looks good, everybody is happy, the IQ of the country slips another two or three points and pretty soon all you need to get into college is a fucking pencil. 더 많은 아이들이 합격하고, 학교는 좋아 보이고, 모두가 행복해하며, 국가의 IQ는 2~3점 더 떨어지고, 곧 연필만 있으면 대학에 입학할 수 있습니다. Got a pencil, get the fuck in there, it’s physics. 연필만 있으면 물리학이죠. Есть карандаш, иди туда, это физика. Then everyone wonders why 17 other countries graduate more scientists than we do. ||궁금해한다||||||||| Education! Politicians know that word. They use it on you.Politicians have traditionally hidden behind three things: the Flag, the Bible and Children. 정치인들은 전통적으로 국기, 성경, 어린이라는 세 가지 뒤에 숨어 있습니다. No child left behind! No child left behind! Oh really? It wasn’t long ago that you were talking about giving kids a head start. Не так давно вы говорили о том, что детям нужно давать фору. Не так давно ви говорили про те, щоб дати дітям фору. Head start? Перевага? Left behind? Someone’s losing fucking ground here. 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