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George Carlin, George Carlin - Good Ideas

George Carlin - Good Ideas

I got strange ideas anyways. You know what I think they ought to do with those Miss America contest? I think they ought to keep making the losers come back until they win. Huh? I'll tell you, that would get a little spooky after about thirty five years or so huh? "I just want to work on world peace." "Fine, sit down before you fall down, will you? And pick up all these goddam batons." I got a lot of ideas. You know what I think? I think Kleenex ought to have little targets on them. Wouldn't that be a good idea? Little bulls-eyes right in the middle of the Kleenex. Make it kind of sporty when you're with you friends. KKKkkkkoooott! Look Dave, an 85! Huh? That's a good idea. I got a lot of good ideas. Trouble is most of them suck. I got a lot of good ideas for new products like that. That's what I think about on my off-duty hours. Things we need. Products we ought to have that we don't have. You know what we ought to have? We ought to have a diet salad dressing called 500 islands. See, good goddam ideas like that. Eh? A Christian deodorant ,"thou shalt not smell". How about a feminine hygiene spray called "Sprunt"? Huh? Well, you'd never forget the name, would you? It would always be right on the tip of your tongue. See? Marketing, marketing, that's where I belong. Among other places. Marketing. Here's an idea I got. This is a yo-yo with a 2000 foot string. You use it when you visit the grand canyon. See, I'm a visionary. I'm ahead of my time. Trouble is, I'm only about an hour and a half ahead. Here's a good idea. A light bulb that only shines on things worth looking at. Yeah, too idealistic. Never make any money on a thing like that. Here's something that's going to make a fortune. Get in on this. This is a roach spray. It doesn't kill the roaches, but it fills them with self doubt as to whether or not they're in the right house. Here's something I'm trying to interest the Japanese electronics firms in this. This would be a great product for Sony. This is a combination cassette player and colonostomy bag. It's called "Shitman"! Huh? Sure. Well you'd never see that. You'd never see that.


George Carlin - Good Ideas George Carlin - Gute Ideen George Carlin - Buenas ideas ジョージ・カーリン - グッドアイディア George Carlin - Geros idėjos George Carlin - Boas ideias Джордж Карлін - Хороші ідеї 乔治-卡林 - 好主意 乔治-卡林 - 好主意

I got strange ideas anyways. You know what I think they ought to do with those Miss America contest? I think they ought to keep making the losers come back until they win. Huh? I’ll tell you, that would get a little spooky after about thirty five years or so huh? Скажу тобі, це стане трохи моторошно приблизно через тридцять п’ять років, так? "I just want to work on world peace." "Fine, sit down before you fall down, will you? And pick up all these goddam batons." І візьміть усі ці кляті палиці». I got a lot of ideas. You know what I think? I think Kleenex ought to have little targets on them. Я думаю, що Kleenex має мати на них маленькі мішені. Wouldn’t that be a good idea? Little bulls-eyes right in the middle of the Kleenex. Make it kind of sporty when you’re with you friends. KKKkkkkoooott! Look Dave, an 85! Huh? That’s a good idea. I got a lot of good ideas. Trouble is most of them suck. I got a lot of good ideas for new products like that. That’s what I think about on my off-duty hours. Things we need. Products we ought to have that we don’t have. You know what we ought to have? We ought to have a diet salad dressing called 500 islands. See, good goddam ideas like that. Eh? A Christian deodorant ,"thou shalt not smell". Християнський дезодорант «Не пахни». How about a feminine hygiene spray called "Sprunt"? Wat dacht je van een spray voor vrouwelijke hygiëne genaamd "Sprunt"? Як щодо спрею для жіночої гігієни «Спрунт»? Huh? Well, you’d never forget the name, would you? It would always be right on the tip of your tongue. See? Marketing, marketing, that’s where I belong. Among other places. Marketing. Here’s an idea I got. This is a yo-yo with a 2000 foot string. You use it when you visit the grand canyon. See, I’m a visionary. Бачите, я фантазер. I’m ahead of my time. Trouble is, I’m only about an hour and a half ahead. Here’s a good idea. A light bulb that only shines on things worth looking at. Лампочка, яка світить лише на речі, на які варто подивитися. Yeah, too idealistic. Never make any money on a thing like that. Here’s something that’s going to make a fortune. Get in on this. This is a roach spray. It doesn’t kill the roaches, but it fills them with self doubt as to whether or not they’re in the right house. Це не вбиває тарганів, але сповнює їх сумнівами щодо того, чи вони в тому будинку. Here’s something I’m trying to interest the Japanese electronics firms in this. This would be a great product for Sony. This is a combination cassette player and colonostomy bag. Dit is een combinatie van een cassettespeler en een colonostomiezak. Це комбінація касетного плеєра та колоностомічного мішка. It’s called "Shitman"! Huh? Sure. Well you’d never see that. You’d never see that.