#3. Meet Marla
MARLA: This is cancer, right?
JACK: This chick, Marla Singer, she did not have testicular cancer. She was a liar.
JACK: She had no diseases at all. I had seen her at Free and Clear, my blood parasites group, Thursdays. Then at hope, my bimonthly sickle-cell circle. And again, at Seize The Day, my tuberculosis, Friday night.
JACK: Marla -- the big tourist. Her lie reflected my lie.
JACK: And suddenly, I felt nothing. I couldn't cry. So, once again, I could not sleep.
JACK: Next group, after guided meditation, after we open our heart chakras, when it's time to hug, I'm going to grab that little bitch, Marla Singer and scream...
JACK: Marla, you liar, you big tourist. I need this! Now get out.
JACK: I hadn't slept in four days... When you have insomnia, you're never really asleep. And you're never really awake.
LEADER: To begin tonight's communion, Chloe would like to say a few word
JACK: Oh, yeah, Chloe. Chloe looked the way Meryl Strip's skeleton would look if you made it smile and walk around a party being extra nice to everybody.
CHLOE: Well, I'm still here. But I don't know for how long. That's as much certainty as anyone can give me. But I've got some good news. I no longer have any fear of death.
CHLOE: But... I am in a pretty lonely place. No one will have sex with me. I'm so close to the end and all I want is to get laid for the last time. I have pornographic movies in my apartment, and lubricants and amyl nitrate ...
LEADER: Thank you, Chloe. Everyone, let's thank Chloe.
EVERYONE: Thank you, Chloe.
LEADER: Now, let's ready ourselves for guided meditation. You're standing at the entrance to your cave. You step inside your cave and you walk. JACK: If I did have a tumor, I'd name it Marla. Marla...the little scratch on the roof of your mouth that would heal if only you could stop tonguing it, but you can't.
LEADER: ...deeper into your cave as you walk. You feel a healing energy of this place all around you. Now find your power animal.
MARLA: Slide.
LEADER: OK, let's partner up. Pick someone special to you tonight.
JACK: Hi. We need to talk.
MARLA: Sure.
JACK: I'm on to you.
MARLA: What?
JACK: Yeah. You're a faker. You are not dying.
MARLA Sorry?
JACK: In the Tibetan philosophy, in the Sylvia Plath sense of the word, I know, we're all dying. But you're not dying the way Chloe is dying.
MARLA: So?
JACK: So you're a tourist. I've seen you at melanoma, I saw you at tuberculosis, I saw you at testicular cancer.
MARLA: I saw you practicing this...
JACK: Practicing what?
MARLA: Telling me off. Is it going as well as you hoped... Rupert ?
JACK: I'll expose you.
MARLA: Go ahead. I'll expose you.
LEADER: All right. Come together. Let yourselves cry.
JACK: Oh, God. Why are you doing this?
MARLA: It's cheaper than a movie, and there's free coffee.
JACK: This is important, OK? These are my groups. I've been coming here for over a year.
MARLA: Why do you do it?
JACK: I... I don't know. When people think you're dying, they really, really listen to you, instead of just...
MARLA: Instead of just waiting for their turn to speak.
JACK: Yeah. Yeah.
LEADER: Share yourself completely.
JACK: Look, if you don't wanna get into this. It becomes an addiction.
MARLA: Really?
JACK: I'm not kidding. I can't cry if another faker is present, and I need this. So you got to find somewhere else to go.
MARLA: Candystripe a cancer ward. It's not my problem.
JACK: No. Wait a second. Hold on... I tell you... We'll split up the week, OK? You take lymphoma, tuberculosis.
MARLA: You take tuberculosis. My smoking doesn't go over at all.
JACK: OK. Good. Fine. Testicular cancer should be no contest, I think.
MARLA: Well, technically, I have more of a right to be there than you. You still have your balls.
JACK: You're kidding.
MARLA: I don't know, am I?
JACK: I'm not sure. No, no.
JACK: What do you want?
MARLA: I'll take the parasites.
JACK: You can't have both. Take the blood parasites.
MARLA: I want brain parasites.
JACK: I'll take the blood parasites but I want an organic brain dementia...
MARLA: I want that.
JACK: You can't have the whole brain!
MARLA: So far, you have four. I only have two!
JACK: OK. take both the parasites. They are yours. Now we both have three...
JACK: You... left half your clothes.
