“Don’t get me wrong.” and “Don’t take this the wrong way.”
I thought the sentences above were similar. Are they similar or totally different?
I can’t really tell the difference between the two.
Thank you!!
- “Wrong” means “wrongly.”
- “The wrong way” means “in the wrong way.”
I am not sure.
The first one can be used to begin a positive comment after you NOTICED that you had made a negative, critical comment.
I wonder if “this” in the second one always refers to something that comes with “but …” after the phrase.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but every time you enter the room it smells like someone smeared **** all over my face.”—Urban Dictionary
- Do not misunderstand what I am about to say (e.g. “Don’t get me wrong, I think Trump is a horrible person, but I do think he is right about this.”).
- I’m about to say something that may offend you (“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you remind me slightly of Donald Trump”)
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The generalize on what Dredjah said, more often than not when I use those phrases:
“Don’t get me wrong.” I’m about to say something that doesn’t involve myself or the people I’m talking to and it involves a contradiction that you don’t want to get tangled in.
“Don’t take this the wrong way.” I’m about to level a criticism or a possibly unflattering observation at the person I’m talking to, but I don’t wish for them to think I’m getting personal or trying to insult them. Dredjah’s examples for both are perfect.
I don’t find myself using either phrase very much, but hear it a lot. The second one often gets used to set up a playful zinger between friends. “Don’t take this wrong way, but your beard makes you look like a goat with mange.” And then you jab him on the shoulder and laughs are had.
Research project: Youtube 1980’s American comedians and see how many times you spot the phrase, “I mean, don’t get me wrong.”
- I said this to him. He GOT me wrong.
- He TOOK what I said (in) the wrong way.
- I said this to him. He TOOK me wrong.
In which case do you feel responsible for what you said to him?
In which case do you feel he himself is responsible for his own reaction?
I think that you feel more or less responsible for what you have said, in the first case.
In the second and third cases, you seems to feel that he is responsible for his own mistake.
Also in use is ‘not being funny, but…’ just before you ‘be funny’.
Generally they are the same in that they both mean “Don’t misunderstand me.” To the extent that there are differences, the first could be more along the lines of “Don’t misunderstand what I am saying” and second, “Don’t misunderstand WHY I’m saying this or at least don’t misinterpret me.”
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I imagine that the difference of meaning between the two verbs, “get” and “take”, is meaningful. I presuppose that strictly speaking no two expressions are completely interchangeable in the entire system of the English language.
I think that “I got it” and “I took it”, for example, have fundamentally different meanings because of the choice of the verb.
I imagine that “wrongly” and “in the wrong way” mean the same thing.
I think they are two phrases that generally serve the same function, in slightly different contexts.
Often, “Don’t get me wrong” is said before an admission of certain points in agreement, before ultimately declaring an opposite view to the speaker before. “Don’t get me wrong - I like pizza. I just don’t eat it eight times a week (like you do.)” Or, “Don’t get me wrong, she’s a very nice person. She just smells bad, and I want to pass out from the odor so I avoid her as much as possible.” “Don’t get me wrong. I think that the overabundance of plastic is a environmental problem. I just don’t think there’s a solution that can be done about it.” “I want to break up with you. Don’t get me wrong, I think you’re a great person. I just don’t think this relationship is working for the two of us.” See how it is used to soften disagreement.
It is also used to clarify when a prior mishap has occurred, as in “Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t saying THAT. I was actually expressing that I think that this is important.” That is used to cool the tension that happened previously, to clarify that a perceived conflict doesn’t actually exist (or the gap isn’t as wide as believed). “Don’t get me wrong, I thought your presentation was excellent. My reason for leaving early was that I had a personal matter to attend to. It had nothing to do with my dislike of your presentation.”
Meanwhile, “Don’t take this wrong way” wouldn’t work in the situations above. It is a signaler for honesty that is about to be said. It used as a way to soften harsh criticism/feedback about someone, by bracing them that it’s about to be something that will likely offend them. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you smell.” “Don’t take this the wrong way, but he said he doesn’t want to be your friend anymore because you sing too much.” You often pause to get the person’s consent to continue before dropping the negative statement. It’s like an apology for giving negative criticism to someone, as part of being a friend or supportive person.
It can also be added to the end of a clearly offensive statement, when the speaker realizes they need to soften their prior statements, to lessen blame. Usually the person has just acted rudely, and they’re trying to fix their mess.
For instance, “I hate (stereotype) of people” (pause) “Oh, don’t take that the wrong way…”
Or, “You’re too ugly to be a movie star… Don’t take that the wrong way.”
Usually, the offended person’s response to this type of criticism is, “What way am I supposed to take it?” Or, in the first case, you could say, “There’s only one way to take a statement like that…” In this context, “take” means “interpret” or “understand that statement.”
Other times, the supposedly offended person will agree. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re the worst in the class at sports.” “No offense taken! That’s certainly the truth.” Or “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you cannot sing.” “(Laughs) Oh, I know. I make people want to use ear plugs or go deaf, my singing is that terrible.”