3.03 (V) The Rules of Gender and How We Learn Them
Welcome back. Last time, we asked you to create a list that names the attributes, roles, and behaviors associated with women on one side and those associated with men on the other. Depending on the society you live in, your list may look something like this. This list reflects what are called gender norms. Gender norms are the socially-defined roles, standards, and expectations associated with a particular gender, most commonly, with men and women. We don't often recognize gender norms as socially constructed or changeable, because they are so embedded in our societies and everyday lives. But how does this come to be? How do we learn gender norms and why do they feel so natural to some? I remember a conversation I was having about gender with a group of kids who are nine and 10 years old. They all knew that there were clear rules about how girls and boys were expected to behave and specifically about what they were expected to wear to school. They all understood that it isn't socially acceptable for boys to wear skirts or dresses in the United States. However, none of them could explain how they learned that rule nor could they explain why it was a rule. They just knew it wasn't normal for a boy to wear what they called girls clothes. As this example demonstrates, at ages nine and 10, kids have a strong understanding of gender norms. They know that their culture has roles, standards, and expectations for what it means to be a girl or a woman versus what it means to be a boy or a man. In fact, research shows that children are actually aware of gender norms from an even younger age as early as between ages two and four. The kids Jacob was talking to were really curious about a double-standard of gender they had identified. They noticed that boys were not allowed to shop in the girls' section of clothing stores, but girls often felt free to shop for clothes sold for boys and to wear those clothes to school. This double standard that these kids detected illustrates the changeability of gender norms over time. In the 1800s for example, it was not socially acceptable for girls and women in the United States to wear pants. But during the early part of the 1900s, this rule change and it became acceptable for them to wear pants in certain contexts. Today, it is socially acceptable for girls and women to wear pants in all contexts. But it is not socially acceptable for boys and men to wear skirts or dresses. These changing rules illustrate the ways that femininity and masculinity are associated with a particular gender to varying degrees. In this case, it's becoming more socially acceptable for girls and women to be associated with both femininity and masculinity. But it's still taboo for boys and men to be associated with femininity in anyway. Gendered clothing also illustrates the dominance of the gender binary and the dominance of cisnormativity. Cisnormativity refers to the notion that a person's assigned sex and their gender identity always align according to the sex and gender binaries, and that such an alignment is normal and therefore preferred. Despite the dominance of cisnormativity in most societies, many people do not fit neatly into either the category woman or the category man. Because these people fall outside the dominant system for categorizing people according to sex and gender, they're frequently perceived as unnatural or abnormal. In some cultures, people whose sex assignment and gender identity do not align are seen and treated as perverted, mentally ill, or damaged. Take a look at your gender norms list again. Where do you think we learned these norms? What might happen to someone who fails to live up to them? How do societies make sure that people adhere to these norms? Think about what happens even before a child is born. In some societies, it has become commonplace for parents to find out the sex of their child before its birth. This means that healthcare professionals examine the child's genitals with the help of an ultrasound machine. Based on the kinds of genitals a child is perceived to have, the baby is labeled either female or male. Even before birth, parents can acquire clothing, toys, and other supplies that assume there will be an alignment between the child's assigned sex and their gender. These items reflect the society's gender norms through certain colors, styles, or activities. For example, adults will often talk about girls and boys very differently, both before and after they're born. A typical compliment for a baby boy might relate to his strength, while a typical compliment for a baby girl might relate to her attractiveness. Similar comments reflect not just the assumption that a child's sex and gender align, but that they will be heterosexual or straight. This is reflected in comments about boy babies such as, "He'll be a lady killer," or "How will you keep the boys away from her," about girl babies. We saturate babies and children with messages about gender the moment they are born. Babies come into a world in which they are surrounded by gendered items. Girls often receive pink items that encourage activities such as shopping, cooking, or childcare, while boys often receive blue items that encourage driving cars, fighting, or problem-solving. For instance, think about the ways dolls, building blocks, or other toys are marketed in your society. As babies grow into children, they internalize these messages about how they're supposed to express both their gender and sexuality. In the US, boys are expected to be aggressive, physical, and tough. Girls are expected to be quiet, social, and considerate. Sometimes, girls and boys are not expected to strictly follow gender norms before puberty. But by the time they enter puberty, much stricter standards can be and are frequently enforced. Gender norms are taught and enforced throughout our entire lives. There are many other examples of how we learn gender norms. Take some time to think about some ways that gender norms are enforced in your society. Whether it be in terms of the language we use, the way we adorn our bodies, or the activities we engage in. See you next time.
