Check my essay, Please
alusov 16910
Hi!
I'm learning english. Could you check my essay.

Do the benefits of study abroad justify the difficulties? What advice would you offer to a prospective student?


Today, many young people can get higher education in foreign country. No doubt, global thinking and knowledge other culture are big advantages. At the same time, you have to live separately from your family and friends. This essay will discuss some arguments for and against getting education abroad.

There are several good points about getting education abroad in contrast with domestic one. First of all, people have to study new language and culture. As a result they can compare their own culture with foreign one and think more globally. The second point is that people get better standards of teaching abroad than in their own country. For instance, there are many Asian students which go in Australia to get tertiary education. Before enroll at a university they usually pass IELTS exam. Finally, after several year of studying young people make friends. So they can share their time together and have interesting and fun life.

On the other hand, there several disadvantages of getting degree abroad. The main bad point is that students have to live there without parents, relatives and old friends. Therefore man can feel loneliness and nostalgia. The next point is that tuition fee is usually more expensive than it at home. Moreover, young people have to find accommodation to live in and will have to pay for it during their education.

To sum up, I sincere believe that we have to extent the opportunities for our children to get education abroad. But parents don’t have to forget about issues there and have to support them. I’m sure exchange of knowledge and cultures is progress for our civilization.
August 2008
  • rsherfan 9485
    Do the benefits of study[ing] abroad justify the difficulties? What advice would you offer to a prospective student?

    Today, many young people can get higher education in [a] foreign country. No doubt, global thinking and knowledge [of] other culture[s] are big advantages. At the same time, you have to live separately from your family and friends. This essay will discuss some arguments for and against getting education abroad.

    There are several good points about getting education abroad in contrast with [a] domestic one. First of all, people have to study [a] new language and culture. As a result[,] they can compare their own culture with [a] foreign one and think more globally. The second point is that people get better standards of teaching abroad than in their own country. For instance, there are many Asian students which go [to] Australia to get tertiary education. Before enroll[ing] at a university they usually pass [an] IELTS exam. Finally, after several year[s] of study[,] young people make friends so they can share their time together and have [an] interesting and fun life.

    On the other hand, there several disadvantages [for] getting [a] degree abroad. The main ["]bad["] point is that students have to live there without parents, relatives and old friends. Therefore[,] man[y] can feel loneliness and nostalgia. The next point is that [a/the] tuition fee is usually more expensive than it [is] at home. Moreover, young people have to find accommodation to live in and will have to pay for it during their education.

    To sum up, I sincere[ly] believe that we have to exten[d] the opportunities for our children to get education abroad. But parents don’t have to forget about issues there and [would still] have to support them. I’m sure [an]exchange of knowledge and culture is progress for our civilization.
    August 2008
  • Irene777 15172
    wow, what helpful thread - thanks to rsherfan for this interesting correction.
    It was helpful for me, because I read the first part from alusov what I can find as mistake. Then I looked for the correction.
    Thanks
    Irene
    August 2008
  • rsherfan 9485
    Alusov's text is already very good. There are just a few missing articles here and there, perhaps due to his native language being Russian.
    August 2008
  • Irene777 15172
    Yes I am a little enviously of his good writing - I would like be so good. But I hope and learn to improve more and more.
    August 2008
  • rsherfan 9485
    I just read the text again today and I picked out a few more things I missed, but I don't think it's really worth pointing out every possible error.
    August 2008
  • alusov 16910
    Thank you for the corrections.
    August 2008
  • alusov 16910
    Here is my next essay. Could you check it.

    Topic: Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which would you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

    Many people believe that it is better to make career in a corporation. However, other choose a small firm for it. In this essay, I will consider benefits of working for these two types of the companies.

    There are many advantages of working for a large firm like a multinational corporation. First of all, one gets a steady job. A large company usually has a specified share of the market and as a result one has many clients. Secondly, as a rule employees in a corporation have some perks. For instance, while they are sick, employer pays them a sickness benefit. Moreover, after definite term one gets a paid holiday. Finally, the workers of the large corporation have more opportunities to be promoted, in contract to their colleagues in a small company. It is the known fact, that there are more open as well as new positions in a big company.

    On the other hand, there are some benefit of employing for a small firm like a start-up. No doubt, an employee usually has more responsibility because he has to do different types of work at the same time. For example, one can be responsible for working with the clients as well as run some technical work. As a result, one becomes more experienced and knows how a company work inside. In additional, worker can feel own important for the company and has more opportunities for a self-realization.

    In conclusion, I am sure it is very useful to have experience of working in both type of the companies. In the future, it allows you to create your own start-up or make successful career in a multinational company.
    August 2008
  • alusov 16910
    It's my next essay. Whould yiu check it.
    Thanks.

    Topic: In order to reduce crime, we need to attack the causes of crime such as poverty and lack of educational opportunities. It’s not enough to simply have more police on the street and put more people into prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

    Many people believe that in order to combat crime, the most effective means are the jails and the police. However, other think it’s better to effect on the causes of the misdeeds such as bad education and poverty. In this essay I will discuss both points of view.

    There are several important causes why people commit a crime. First of all, the shortage of the educational can lead to a crime. It is obvious that a good education allows to get a well-paid job. The second reason is poverty that can turn people in the criminals. So, the state has to create the work places and develop business. As a result it will decrease the unemployment and crime. Finally, it is a well-known fact that the maintenance of the jails and the police are very expensive for the state. In many cases, community service are more right sentence than a prison.

    On the other hand, there are many evidence when rich and well-educated people commit the crimes. For instance, children from the rich families can take drugs. Their parents spend most of the time at work and don’t attend to their children in the enough extent. Moreover, last decades bring us new type of the fraud such as computer crimes. In this case one has to have a very good education for it. Furthermore, there are crimes such as murder, kidnapping and drug smuggling. It’s clear that these kinds of offences demand the serious punishment such as prison or even capital punishment.

    In conclusion, I agree that firstly we have to understand causes of crime. In this case only we can decrease crime and create more safe society for our future generations.
    August 2008