How to STOP and think before REACTING? Learn how to Navigate your Emotions | episode 02
you want to master your motions and I'm
telling you the secret is emotions are
confusing but with just a little
neuroscience that make a lot more sense
if you've heard me tell a story of why
our organization is called six seconds
you know that emotions are actually
chemicals I was talking with Candace
pert our advisory board member and the
former chief of brain science at the
National Institutes of Health she was
explaining to me that emotions are
actually messengers that go running
around between our brains and our bodies
she said it's almost like a second
nervous system we have this
communication system made up of our
nerve cells but we have another
communication system that's these
chemicals and they're produced primarily
in our brains but also everywhere in our
bodies especially here and in our guts
and our spines they even go between us
as we start to perceive what's happening
with others but these chemicals going
back and forth between our brains and
bodies carrying information and helping
us get ready for opportunities and
threats we have this way of
understanding information and
communicating inside ourselves in
between each other that's just happening
it's like this whole other form of
intelligence emotions are produced
primarily in our hypothalamus it's like
a little factory and then they go
through the pituitary gland released in
our bloodstream into your body so now
let's zoom in and pretend that we are
all cells inside of one body and we have
these chemicals that are running around
and remember they're like little keys
and each chemical has a unique shape and
structure it's gonna go looking at the
cells and these these chemicals are
going through the bloodstream and
they're looking for a cell where it
matches if it doesn't find one it looks
for another cell and it finds a cell
which has a matching lock or receptor
site being and the the chemical is
actually absorbed that chemical is now
broken down so that one a little bit of
emotion chemical it lasted for up to
about six seconds and these chemicals
are going to be hanging around
and then they're completely absorbed
broken down recycled and then this cell
has changed and the electrical setpoint
of that cell is changed and it starts
producing new chemicals and those
chemicals start looking for other
receptor sites Bing Bing and now pretty
soon we have all of these different
cells producing chemicals and it's like
inside of a pinball machine Bing Bing
Bing Bing Bing Bing Bing all these cells
have activated and the whole chemistry
of our body has started to change
because of these emotion molecules
giving us messages to help us prepare
for the opportunities and threats that
were perceiving neuroscientists call
that a cascade
and what it looks like is this you get a
little bit of chemical and then that
cell produces more and then those cells
produce more and then those cells
produce more pretty soon the whole
system is flooded with this chemical but
remember each little bit only lasts for
about 6 seconds so that means two things
one if we want this piece of information
if that's something that's precious to
us we need to tune in to get it too if
we just interrupt this cycle for about 6
seconds the flood is going to subside
now what often happens in our
interactions is we keep adding to the
flood we're frustrated and we're telling
ourselves I can't believe that person
said that every time we do that we're
producing more and more and more and
soon we don't have just one cascade
we've got a dozen of them this cascade
process we actually have different
cascades happening in different parts of
our bodies as you're learning to tune in
to your emotions one tool that you can
use is to actually feel the physical
sensation for example some people carry
a lot of anxiety in their bellies some
people carry them in their in their
spines for me it's up here in my
shoulders so this cascade process
interrupts this flood and we can create
something different we have some choice
here and that 6 second pause is the key
so because these emotions are part of
our biological selves neuroscientist
Antonio Damasio says emotions are
embodied emotions are part of our
physical beings and we can't just put
them aside they're part of what keeps us
alive when you are in a state of
reaction that your emotions are are
going really fast and pushing you into
that flight fight freeze mode your
cortical thinking shuts down learning
theorists call this down shifting and
your limbic brain where the emotions
recede it has taken over so the trick to
slowing down and giving yourself a
little space to stop that cascade is
this 6 second pause you know how your
mom told you to count to 10 when you
were a kid that was actually pretty good
advice
but as you got older it got too easy I'm
really mad one two three four magic
seven eight nine ten I'm still mad so
what we're gonna do in a six second
pause is we're gonna engage our cortical
brain the wrinkly part on the outside
where we do our language processing and
our symbolic reasoning for about six
seconds so that we get the different
parts of our brain resync to working
together again and really that's what
emotional intelligence is all about
emotions and intelligence you just think
of something that's gonna take you about
six seconds and is going to use your
language processing or symbolic
reasoning or mathematical parts of your
brain for example maybe do six math
problems or maybe take your favorite
chocolate chip cookie recipe how much
you'd have to use to make six times the
normal recipe when you're doing these
kinds of activities what you're doing is
you're engaging different parts of your
brain one of the keys to activating your
emotional intelligence is to remember we
don't just have one feeling at a time
and when we're in this state of reaction
what we want to do is slow down shift
our brains and then we can pay attention
to all the feelings that are there let's
recap what we cover emotions are
chemicals they're produced in our brains
but also in our bodies like our nerve
cells are carrying information back and
forth throughout the organism our
emotion chemicals are doing that as well
emotions are affecting all of the living
cells and our brains and bodies and
these little messages are like keys they
go into the locks otherwise known as
receptor sites and we have these
receptor sites in our brains and
throughout our bodies the emotion
chemicals go into the cell they're
absorbed and broken down they change the
electrical setpoint of that cell and
then that cell starts to produce
different chemicals as the chemicals
start to multiply we have a cascade
effect each little bit of chemical only
lasts for about six seconds but we
produce more and more and more and then
we have this flooded state and we're
deep into reaction now we need our six
second pause to stop that cascade
create a little space so we can step
back and use our whole brain to master
those emotions and make our best
possible decisions hi I'm Josh Friedman
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