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Jokes in English, Lesson #4: Story Jokes

Some jokes are stories that have funny punchlines. The punchline is the part of the joke at the end that makes you laugh. Here are two story jokes that have funny punchlines.

 ==>Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lamp containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says, “I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.

Here are a few things that might help you understand this joke. If you are stranded on an island, it means you have no way of getting off the island. A common phrase when referring to an island that no one else lives on is a desert island. This doesn't mean the island is a desert. We most commonly think of a desert as dry and sandy, with very little vegetation. But the word “desert” can also mean a place that has few or no people. In this case, it is an island that has no people on it (except for the people who are stranded). These three guys (guys is a casual word for men) are the only people on an island and they have no way to leave the island.

They find a magic lamp. This term, “magic lamp,” is referring to a story about Aladdin and a magic lamp. Aladdin found the lamp and rubbed it. A genie (a type of magician or wizard) came out of the lamp. The genie said Aladdin could have three wishes for anything he wanted. The genie gave or granted Aladdin's three wishes. In this case, these men were granted one wish. The first two men wished they were off the island and back home. The genie granted their wishes Instead of the third man wishing for the same thing, he wished that his two friends were back on the island. The genie granted his wish and his two friends were brought back to the island.

==>A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed talent scout. “Okay, Sport,” the guy says to the dog. “What's on top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on…” the talent scout responds. “All dogs go ‘roof.'” “No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog, “What does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers. The talent scout gives a condescending blank stare. He loses his patience. “No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you.” He turns and asks the dog, “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. The dog turns to the guy and says, “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio.”

This joke uses some terms you may be unfamiliar with. A “talent scout” is a person who looks for people with talent (or abilities) to do entertaining things. They look for “new acts” to put into some kind of show, like on TV. This talent scout was looking for someone with a talent to do something that would entertain people. The man who owned the dog (the dog owner) claimed (or said he believed) that his dog could speak English. He said this to the talent scout. The talent scout didn't believe the man. He didn't believe the dog could speak English. He wasn't impressed because he didn't believe the dog could speak English. He was unimpressed.

The dog owner decided to demonstrate that his dog could speak English. The dog owner called his dog, “Sport.” This was the dog's name. When he asked his dog what was on top of a house, the dog said it was a roof. The talent scout wasn't impressed because the word “roof” sounds like a dog's bark. The talent scout said to the dog owner, “Oh, come on.” This is a common thing to say to someone when you don't believe them. It tells the person that you don't believe what they are saying. This is a common phrase in English. It is sometimes written as, “C'mon.” This shows how the words are used together. You wouldn't use, “c'mon” in formal writing, but it can be used to show an informal way of speaking.

The second question the dog owner asked his dog was what sandpaper feels like. Sandpaper is a type of paper that is very rough. It's paper that has sand on it to make the paper rough. It is used on wooden boards to take off sharp edges. When you use it on wooden boards, you sand the board so the board is smooth.

The English word “rough” also sounds like what a dog would say. The talent scout isn't impressed. He doesn't believe the dog can speak English so he gives the dog owner a condescending stare. The word “condescending” means to look down on someone. It often means you think you are better than the other person. He didn't believe the dog could speak English and he felt he was wasting his time waiting for the dog to speak words. He lost his patience. If you lose your patience, it means you're no longer being patient. A patient person doesn't mind waiting on things. An impatient person doesn't like to wait on things. If you have lost your patience, you are tired of waiting so you are no longer patient.

The dog owner says to the talent scout, “No, hang on.” The term “hang on” is a common casual term used in speaking to ask a person to wait longer. We use it when we talk on the phone. You might say to someone, “Hang on, I need to go answer the door.” This asks them to wait for you while you answer the door. We might say “hang on” any time we want someone to wait for a couple of minutes. You could use this phrase if you were reading something and someone interrupted you. You could say, “Hang on, let me finish reading this paragraph.” You would be asking the person to wait for a couple of minutes until you could finish the paragraph you were reading. It is a very common phrase that is used often in speech to ask someone to wait for a short time. The dog owner is asking the talent scout to wait for him.

The last question the dog owner asks his dog is who the greatest baseball player of all time is. The dog answers that Ruth is. This refers to a very famous baseball player named Babe Ruth. Many people believe that Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player of all time. The name “Ruth” also sounds like a dog's bark.

The talent scout boots them out of his office. If you “boot” someone out of a place, you throw them out. You make them leave quickly and usually you have to use force to make them leave. It comes from the idea of someone using their foot (with a boot on) to kick the person so they leave. We use this term with computers if we are in a chat room. If you are in a chat room and are talking to someone, the computer can shut down the chat room sometimes. If you are forced to leave the chat room somehow, you are booted from the chat room. A person who goes into chat rooms and uses computer codes that force people to leave the chat room is called a booter. You can be booted from a place or you can be booted out of a place. He was booted from the room. He was booted out of the room. These two sentences mean the same thing.

When the dog owner and the dog are on the street, the dog says to his owner, “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio.” The word “shoulda” means “should have.” It's a very informal way of writing and should not be used except in a very casual conversation. Some Americans say the word without understanding what it is a contraction of. Some people will write it, “should of.” This is completely incorrect, but you might see it written that way. It can be contracted as, “should've” but it's rarely seen written like that. Normally when this is in something you read, it should be, “should have.” When “shoulda” is used, it's a way of showing a very casual conversation. When “should of” is used in writing, it can show that the person is uneducated.

The dog mentions another very famous baseball player, Joe DiMaggio. This punchline shows us that the dog actually can speak English.

Story jokes can be funny, but sometimes they use phrases you might not know.  They can also refer to cultural things like the two baseball players.  If you want to try to read more jokes like these, I got these from a list of “100 Funniest Jokes of All Time” on the website BlueDonut.com.



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Some jokes are stories that have funny punchlines. The punchline is the part of the joke at the end that makes you laugh. Here are two story jokes that have funny punchlines.

 ==>Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lamp containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says, “I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here.

Here are a few things that might help you understand this joke. If you are stranded on an island, it means you have no way of getting off the island. A common phrase when referring to an island that no one else lives on is a desert island. This doesn't mean the island is a desert. We most commonly think of a desert as dry and sandy, with very little vegetation. But the word “desert” can also mean a place that has few or no people. In this case, it is an island that has no people on it (except for the people who are stranded). These three guys (guys is a casual word for men) are the only people on an island and they have no way to leave the island.

They find a magic lamp. This term, “magic lamp,” is referring to a story about Aladdin and a magic lamp. Aladdin found the lamp and rubbed it. A genie (a type of magician or wizard) came out of the lamp. The genie said Aladdin could have three wishes for anything he wanted. The genie gave or granted Aladdin's three wishes. In this case, these men were granted one wish. The first two men wished they were off the island and back home. The genie granted their wishes Instead of the third man wishing for the same thing, he wished that his two friends were back on the island. The genie granted his wish and his two friends were brought back to the island.

==>A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed talent scout. “Okay, Sport,” the guy says to the dog. “What's on top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies. “Oh, come on…” the talent scout responds. “All dogs go ‘roof.'” “No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog, “What does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers. The talent scout gives a condescending blank stare. He loses his patience. “No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you.” He turns and asks the dog, “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog. And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. The dog turns to the guy and says, “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio.”

This joke uses some terms you may be unfamiliar with. A “talent scout” is a person who looks for people with talent (or abilities) to do entertaining things. They look for “new acts” to put into some kind of show, like on TV. This talent scout was looking for someone with a talent to do something that would entertain people. The man who owned the dog (the dog owner) claimed (or said he believed) that his dog could speak English. He said this to the talent scout. The talent scout didn't believe the man. He didn't believe the dog could speak English. He wasn't impressed because he didn't believe the dog could speak English. He was unimpressed.

The dog owner decided to demonstrate that his dog could speak English. The dog owner called his dog, “Sport.” This was the dog's name. When he asked his dog what was on top of a house, the dog said it was a roof. The talent scout wasn't impressed because the word “roof” sounds like a dog's bark. The talent scout said to the dog owner, “Oh, come on.” This is a common thing to say to someone when you don't believe them. It tells the person that you don't believe what they are saying. This is a common phrase in English. It is sometimes written as, “C'mon.” This shows how the words are used together. You wouldn't use, “c'mon” in formal writing, but it can be used to show an informal way of speaking.

The second question the dog owner asked his dog was what sandpaper feels like. Sandpaper is a type of paper that is very rough. It's paper that has sand on it to make the paper rough. It is used on wooden boards to take off sharp edges. When you use it on wooden boards, you sand the board so the board is smooth.

The English word “rough” also sounds like what a dog would say. The talent scout isn't impressed. He doesn't believe the dog can speak English so he gives the dog owner a condescending stare. The word “condescending” means to look down on someone. It often means you think you are better than the other person. He didn't believe the dog could speak English and he felt he was wasting his time waiting for the dog to speak words. He lost his patience. If you lose your patience, it means you're no longer being patient. A patient person doesn't mind waiting on things. An impatient person doesn't like to wait on things. If you have lost your patience, you are tired of waiting so you are no longer patient.

The dog owner says to the talent scout, “No, hang on.” The term “hang on” is a common casual term used in speaking to ask a person to wait longer. We use it when we talk on the phone. You might say to someone, “Hang on, I need to go answer the door.” This asks them to wait for you while you answer the door. We might say “hang on” any time we want someone to wait for a couple of minutes. You could use this phrase if you were reading something and someone interrupted you. You could say, “Hang on, let me finish reading this paragraph.” You would be asking the person to wait for a couple of minutes until you could finish the paragraph you were reading. It is a very common phrase that is used often in speech to ask someone to wait for a short time. The dog owner is asking the talent scout to wait for him.

The last question the dog owner asks his dog is who the greatest baseball player of all time is. The dog answers that Ruth is. This refers to a very famous baseball player named Babe Ruth. Many people believe that Babe Ruth was the greatest baseball player of all time. The name “Ruth” also sounds like a dog's bark.

The talent scout boots them out of his office. If you “boot” someone out of a place, you throw them out. You make them leave quickly and usually you have to use force to make them leave. It comes from the idea of someone using their foot (with a boot on) to kick the person so they leave. We use this term with computers if we are in a chat room. If you are in a chat room and are talking to someone, the computer can shut down the chat room sometimes. If you are forced to leave the chat room somehow, you are booted from the chat room. A person who goes into chat rooms and uses computer codes that force people to leave the chat room is called a booter. You can be booted from a place or you can be booted out of a place. He was booted from the room. He was booted out of the room. These two sentences mean the same thing.

When the dog owner and the dog are on the street, the dog says to his owner, “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio.” The word “shoulda” means “should have.” It's a very informal way of writing and should not be used except in a very casual conversation. Some Americans say the word without understanding what it is a contraction of. Some people will write it, “should of.” This is completely incorrect, but you might see it written that way. It can be contracted as, “should've” but it's rarely seen written like that. Normally when this is in something you read, it should be, “should have.” When “shoulda” is used, it's a way of showing a very casual conversation. When “should of” is used in writing, it can show that the person is uneducated.

The dog mentions another very famous baseball player, Joe DiMaggio. This punchline shows us that the dog actually can speak English.

Story jokes can be funny, but sometimes they use phrases you might not know.  They can also refer to cultural things like the two baseball players.  If you want to try to read more jokes like these, I got these from a list of “100 Funniest Jokes of All Time” on the website BlueDonut.com.


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